Back to the Gender Alphabet

Every once in a while I have to slow down my everyday life again I try to reestablish who I am to others by explaining it all to myself.


In this weeks Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition, I responded to a comment from Connie on how I sounded as if I was somehow "talking down to" or "demeaning" cross dressers. Surely, Connie was right, but even more surely I do not feel that way. Ironically, the same subject came up with my VA Doc visit this week. One of his first questions was, "How long have you cross dressed?" Finally (I'm not the sharpest tack in the box) I came up with this answer for the average binary gender civilian: I have been a cross dresser since the age of 12, I have been transgender since birth. It was a "birth right" I didn't ask for but here I am.


Most of the time, at that point, I have to backtrack into the basic difference between gender and sexuality and hope for the best.


My problem is now, I risk offending the very group I respect to the max-cross dressers. After all, I identified with Cd's for decades and even did my best to hide behind my dresses to extend my life. All of it just quit working. I wasn't a cross dresser anymore than I was the macho guy down the street. I just took it all to a point of no return. None of that makes me any better or worse than the next person-cross dresser or transgender!


Finally, in this post, while we are talking about gender words, lets talk about the word I consider a gender slur. That of course is the "tra__ny" word which as far as I know still remains a fave word used by enabled older cis gay men (Rude Paul.) If you have a strong feeling one way or another, Frock Magazine is running a survey you can take here.

"Culture Clash"

"You are dressed."  These are the three simple words uttered by a gay boy in a bar Liz and I were in Saturday night.  "You are dressed."

What a simple passive aggressive ignorant gay cis male statement!  Liz and I actually hadn't seen each other in person for a space in time because of any number of logistical problems.  We just wanted to be left alone in one of few venues I will even considering going to in my home town.

We ordered a pizza and were doing just that until he comes, resplendent in his tight white T-shirt and bright yellow short shorts-literally "flitting" around the room.  The first time he said it, I just glared and said, "So are you."  The second time he said it, I must have made my point and looked so hostile - he floated away in his yellow shorts. Briefly, I regressed into his stupid world and thought, "You need smacked for talking smack, you little bitch."  But you can't cure gay as much as you can't cure stupid.

So-  I found this on Pinterest which describes my feelings exactly!  I need to constantly remind myself that ignorance is not confined to any one segment of humans.  Regardless of race, gender and sexuality.  No one has a corner on it.

Gay, lesbian, cross dresser, transgender, transsexual or straight- no one.

Pride?

This weekend, three of my friends and I are attending the TGLBQ Pride march and party in Columbus, Ohio.

As I continue to mention, Columbus is a very diverse city and the event promises to be well attended.  True to form, for the past month or more I have spent a considerable amount of "noggin" time, trying to come up with where I wanted to fit it.

It's not easy.

The gay and lesbian communities have much to be proud of.  Both were instrumental in breaking down discrimination barriers  and more they faced.  Plus the drag queens can look back with pride at their huge role in the Stonewall riots in 1969. All of the history is great but the fact remains- we transgender woman and men are not understood and left out.

Are the "Bi's" left out too? Then again, who exactly are the "Bi's"? The only potential peeps in this category I have ever met are the fetish cross dressers who will only have sex with another man if he is dressed as a she? And, if I still considered myself a cross dresser-fetish or not, would I feel any sort of pride if I went to Pride?  I'm pretty sure I would from the simple fact for a whole day I could express my gender as I saw fit. Plus, as a matter of fact, Pride events are much more cost effective for those who can not afford an event such as "Provincetown".(Fantasia Fair-below)


And, how about those lesbians?  The three friends I'm going with are all lesbians and two are pretty much clueless when I complain of transgender discrimination.  I just know I feel comfortable with them and the lesbian venues we will be going too.  I have always found their company to be the most natural for me to fit into to.  If I had to guess though, I'm thinking the three are going to party first and then be proud!

Where does all of that leave me as a transgender woman in the crowd?  I feel guilty.  I want the world to know I am trans and proud-as I am but, if I can blend in with the lesbians and party-I want to be there too. The fun part about the day is I will be able to dress down appropriately for a hot, humid Ohio summer day and enjoy being transgender.

For one of the first times in my life, I don't have to fit into yet another set of molds...this time from the gay/lesbian community.