Showing posts with label transsexuals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transsexuals. Show all posts

Friday, June 22, 2018

The Name Game.

Lately it seems, every time we turn around, someone is adding another letter to the LGBT moniker.

LGBT has become LGBTQ and beyond even, which I am not going to mention in this post. Oh well, why not. There is also LGBTQIA. If you wonder what all that means, "Q" is for questioning "I" is for intersex and "A" is for ally or asexual.

I still wonder though, what happened to the "C" for cross dressers?

Maybe you have to complete some sort of reality school to "graduate" up into the main lineup of letters? Also what happened to transsexuals? Remember when the all powerful Transsexuals "ruled" the roost after they climbed the gender dysphoria ladder to surgery and then disappeared? Maybe some still do, but almost all of the trans women who have gone through surgery I know these days are nice and mellow women.

Then there are the poor transvestites. Remember them? I remember explaining to a few key people in my world what the term meant. It seems pretty harmless these days. All I wanted to do was to dress like a woman. Of course, all of that started to change when the transgender term came along.

Every once in a while, I take a look at the other letters to see what they still mean to me. Although I know it drives many lesbians crazy, I consider myself a lesbian because I am a woman and live with a cis woman. I was gay "questioning" but never saw the need or desire and "Bi" is pretty self explanatory.

Finally, I am not intersex and I live with an ally.

Hopefully, I covered all the bases...I think I feel better!

Sunday, April 15, 2018

It's Been Forever?

Yesterday I went to my bank to deposit some money. Out of the three tellers, I just happened to get the male one. Either he thought I was a vision of loveliness (probably not) or having a real live transgender woman in the bank was a relief from his normal day to day activities.

At any rate, the questions came fast, furious and friendly. Did I do most of my banking on line, was my day going good and was I sure there was nothing else I could be helped with?  I was almost embarrassed. After all, how exciting is a trip to the grocery store anyway?  Plus, yes I did live this way and just didn't put on makeup and women's clothes to go to the bank and run errands. He didn't ask that, of course.

I'm sure though, I shouldn't complain. It wasn't so long ago I was filled full of angst with the thought of even going out in public, let alone communicating with anyone.

As much as I want to be recognized as simply an attractive woman, more than likely, the idea of another person seeing me as a trans girl sometimes is just as satisfying.

In fact on Facebook, I just commented on a person's post who has complained about not wanting to be called transgender at all. She hates the community and pretty much all it stands for. That's all well and good, everyone is entitled to their opinion but it is akin to throwing the baby out with the dish water. After all, one of the big reasons no one knows much about the trans community is because of all the so called transsexuals who transitioned years ago and disappeared. And, like any other community, not all the peeps are pleasant.

We all grew up being someone. Just because that someone happened to be male doesn't make you or him all bad. With all the suicide going on in the LGBT community (especially the 'T') we need visible survivors to prove to the world we can make it and prosper.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

How Many of us do Blackface?

I am sure many "Terf's" or feminists who want to exclude us out of hand from any feminine discussion, would also want to group all of us into one group (transgender, cross dressers and drag queens) into one category, and say yes.

Internally though, we know that is not true and the answer is so much more complex.  Blackface by definition is a form of  theatrical makeup by primarily non black performers to represent a black person. So drag queens by definition could fall into a similar definition. Primarily gay cis males who use forms of makeup to represent women.

From there on, the comparison gets murky.

Cross dressers, are primarily "straight" cis men who often are feeding a deep seated need to look like cis-women. You can draw your own conclusions if that is a form of "black face" or not. The old term "transvestite" can also be applied here, if you like.

Finally, when you consider transgender women, "black face" should not enter into the conversation at all.

Being over simplistic on purpose, trans women want to do much more than just look like cis-women, they want to live like one. The deep seated need to live a feminine life often takes over one's life, even to the point of ending a life if nothing can be done. Insert, transsexual here if you would like.

My difference between the two is ideally a transsexual woman (or man) deeply desires to have genital surgery to complete their gender identity, where as a transgender person is more content to live the life of a gender they weren't born into. With or without surgery.

At any rate, I thought the "blackface" discussion was a thought provoking one.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Life Turns on a Dime, Part Four

I call this time in the mid 1980's my validation time.

I was still struggling with the fact that dressing trashy versus classy was not the way to  go and teasing truckers on the interstate with a hiked up skirt was not going to work.  Plus I still couldn't get it through my thick noggin why it wouldn't.

Very basically a cross dresser dresses for what a man wants to see and a transgender woman (in order to survive in the world) must take into consideration what women want to see too.

After yet another viscous fight between my wife and I, she said "You make a terrible woman." Of course I was devastated!  All  the work shaving my legs and mirror worship just couldn't be wrong. Then she said, "I'm not referring to the way you look. I am referring to the way you act and think."

You would have thought even I would begin to get through my thick noggin what she was talking about and for once I was getting a glimmer of hope. On my trips out cross dressed, I was beginning to notice more of the world around me. About this time too, my wife would even go out with me to dinner in Columbus. So if I didn't "dress like a slut" (as she put it) I would have even more chances to live as a woman. The more I lived it-the more I loved it.

About this time was when transgender began to creep into the public's vocabulary replacing the all encompassing transvestites or transsexuals on either end of the spectrum. I began to think-could transgender be me?

Shortly we moved back up towards Columbus, Ohio and I became involved with one of the most diverse groups within a group I had ever seen or been involved with.

I was about to find another dime and have a real idea what validation really meant.


Friday, January 13, 2017

Cyrsti's Condo "Archive Post"

From 2011:

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Stuff!

OK girlfriends and guy friends...here is a miss mash of stuff (kind of like my closet!),
Number one is another site dedicated to "transequality". The "National Center for Transgender Equality" web site features great information and even a training piece. Check it out!
Way less serious news includes "The Village Voice" reporting that "Lady Gaga" is going to do a video with transsexuals. That is earth shattering! Really? Lady Gaga?
This soldier,who made the "Top Ten Chinese Crossdresser List" just blew me away!
"Back in the day", I had a friend who delighted in carrying "Mao Tsetung's" little red book. I really never believed he ever opened it, but it really upset many people... All he was looking for in our Midwestern town. Seemingly a thousand years later China is emerging as a world force and I thought we would feature a picture of one of China's former soldiers  Well, here she is!
What would "Ozzie" think! Yes that "Ozzie Osbourne". I don't really think "The Oz" is capable of a coherent thought but was he shocked when daughter Kelly ­tearfully dumped ­fiancĂ© Luke Worrall when she found
out he was ­having a secret affair.
The heartbroken star finally ended her engagement to the model when
she discovered he was cheating with Elle ­Schneider, an identikit
blond.

But what Kelly didn't ­realize was that Elle was born a man - and is
now a pre-op transsexual.
Elle, 21, from Miami, revealed her secret to the Sunday Mirror, and
produced an ID card that shows she started life as Reynaldo Gonzalez.
Elle said she was open with Luke that she was born a boy and it turned him on more. Imagine that!
It seems (from my angle) this could be Kelli's fault. Her own transformation resulted in "Elle" and her looking like sisters. Maybe Luke thought that too?

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Transgender Bucket List (2012 Archive Post)

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Transgender and your Bucket

Is your bucket list half empty or half full? Certainly before we all know it and we are fortunate enough to make it- it's time to start looking ahead to the force calling your number. Poof! "You be Gone!"
I started my transgender Bucket List approximately five years ago. I began to see how much living I could do as a woman or maybe I should say- a trans woman.
I found I could live and more importantly wanted to live as my chosen gender. Ironically I got hammered from within the trans community for waiting so long. Even being called just "another old guy on hormones". The big bad outside world on occasion was more accepting.
To make a long story short, my bucket became very full.
Here's my point: I could have made the move to a full time feminine existence two very specific times in my life-basically at the age of 30 and 40 and didn't. If you are younger (I'm 62 now) and considering the move, I can say time will slip by before you know it.
I can't and won't tell anyone to transition but I do recommend checking the waters if you can. It just confuses me when someone writes me or I read somewhere a person is going to try to go through SRS without living the life! It's a problem created by places like Thailand who really don't care about much more than the cash.
Sure it takes quite a bit of courage and a whole lot of trial and error to experience the feminine socialization process.
Don't think you have to be old to have a bucket list. Do think you don't want to be living a regret later in your life when the bucket has a huge hole in it.
I've known fully changed transsexuals and cross dressers justifying life in the closet who have gotten really bitter over the experience.
Certainly, we all have only one life to live and we all have responsibilities to others.
Just as certainly we all have the responsibility to be true to ourselves.  You may consider starting a transgender bucket list to discover what your truth might be.

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Power Shopping?

Paula Goodwin also responded to one of the questions in a former Cyrsti's Condo post "Since You Asked."

"There do seem to be a number of stores, and service providers, perhaps more aimed at crossdressers, who charge some quite extortionate prices for what they sell as "specialty" and "confidential" items such as breast forms, large size shoes, and shapewear. Most of these items can be bought much cheaper on the high street or from mainstream suppliers much cheaper.

The last question I simply don't understand, in the UK anyone who represents a danger to themselves or others will get professional (medical) help, those who don't will have to wait interminably or pay for it."

Thanks Paula! I think his insistence on mentioning the stores which "pander" to the cross dressing community just means he is spending too much time looking and dreaming. Remember, this was the guy who purged one time and gave me half his "stash" from a storage unit he had hidden from his wife.

As far as professional/medical help in our VERY convoluted system goes-it is out there. But- in the great majority of cases insurance still won't cover it and most can't afford it. His deal was attacking the idea of therapy as a whole and it's effectiveness.

Finally, keep in mind, he will "almost" accept the idea of a true transgender person. On the other hand-transsexuals are in no way female and in essence all of us are cross dressers in overdrive. He made these determinations in the 80's when he went into the closet and is living there. 

Monday, April 13, 2015

Walk Away?

Years ago when I was first free to explore the real possibilities of transitioning, I remember quite vividly reading about one of the transsexuals "coming out of stealth" just to explain why she "got out." By getting out, I mean-she meant, out of the rat race just to live her life in her preferred gender. Commonly referred to as "stealth." - and why she was going back.

I remembered at the time-what a waste of experience and activism. Lately, I'm not so sure.

My daily Cyrsti's Condo blog has become a child at a time in my life when I don't need one. Certainly, I'm not getting rich by all of this, although money is NOT why I started all of this. I wanted to prove I could, tell my story for others and yes-transition.

As transitions go I suppose, mine has been very kind to me. I'm blessed to be able to live a feminine life far beyond my expectations. So far as a matter of fact, I think writing about them has become a chore for both of us. I know I'm not real glitzy and going to the store today in jeans, T shirt and boots wouldn't make for big fashion story-but it is who I am.

My passions burn bright for equal treatment and rights for all citizens of the transgender community but then again these days I feel I'm on the outside looking in because of my age. Plus, the hour or so I put into the blog everyday has the potential to take away time I could have to go to community trans support organizations. Here's an example of my frustration. Today the closeted cross dresser I mention here in the blog told me about the religious classes he was taking at the age of 65. Of course the pastor threw in how religion and God can be a cure for cross dressing. Really?

I also know humans don't live forever and I have a long way to study the religions I want to- such as Tibetian Buddhism, Hinduism and earth based Spiritual beliefs held by native tribes around the world and America. What's the line from "Smokey and the Bandit?" I have a long way to go and a short time to get there.

Recent discoveries of  totally accessing my true gender self has whetted my thirst for more understanding of my soul. I used to be a huge believer and practitioner of transcendental meditation. It has occurred to me now, the blocks I was experiencing could have been self induced gender blocks. And, all of that takes time.

So. as of yet-I don't know where I am going with all of this. All I do know is around the time I do my Trans Ohio workshop will be coming up at the end of May. Plus, Cyrsti's Condo will celebrate another year. In the meantime, we will have business as usual and see what happens!

Friday, October 3, 2014

Can You Ever Go Home?

I have a very old friend and dare I say a bit frustrated at times with his life in the closet as a cross dresser on occasion. Then it is time to "chat" with me and try to pick an argument.

I use the "frustrated" word with him because he seems to delight in passing along stories of so called transsexuals who "went the distance" and completed SRS-only wanting to return as close as possible to their birth gender.

By trade he is a retired engineer and is the stereotypical "connect the dots" style thinker.  Although he won't come out and actually say it to me, he believes very few sex changes are needed and/or work.

It's an interesting concept and one neither of us or perhaps anyone has a true statistical answer which would satisfy him.

Personally, I think it is inevitable some gender dysphoric people maybe aren't that at all and really don't get a strong enough dose of living in the girls sandbox to see what it is about.

Plus then there is that pesky age thing which haunts the genetics as well as us too.  Being that "young pretty thing" is out.  So I tell him not to go making "hero's" out of these people who want to go back to their birth gender.  They just made a mistake, certainly a big one but in his engineering world does he toss out a whole project if one out of a hundred parts comes back as defective?

At the least, it's an interesting discussion and being an extremely "gray thinker", I am constantly taking him places he doesn't want to go.  For example HRT - another of his pet peeves. Paraphrasing: Why would anyone embark on such a potentially dangerous path with no concrete results. At that point I have to jump in for him and connect his dots.  Potentially undergoing hormone replacement therapy does have concrete results and has a positive affect on the very high number of suicide attempts in the transgender community.

I can never get him to admit he is talking about me and my decision to go down the HRT pathway. Or, is he a little frustrated he purged himself into the closet in the 80's never to see the light of day again.

Probably I will never know.  I just hope he can finally connect some of his own dots and quit counting how much money he has around.

Speaking for me, I never want to go home again.  If my medically monitored hormones take some time off my life, so be it.  The alternative was worse.


Monday, August 4, 2014

"Culture Clash"

 "You are dressed."  These are the three simple words uttered by a gay boy in a bar Liz and I were in Saturday night.  "You are dressed."

What a simple passive aggressive ignorant gay cis male statement!  Liz and I actually hadn't seen each other in person for a space in time because of any number of logistical problems.  We just wanted to be left alone in one of few venues I will even considering going to in my home town.

We ordered a pizza and were doing just that until he comes, resplendent in his tight white T-shirt and bright yellow short shorts-literally "flitting" around the room.  The first time he said it, I just glared and said, "So are you."  The second time he said it, I must have made my point and looked so hostile - he floated away in his yellow shorts. Briefly, I regressed into his stupid world and thought, "You need smacked for talking smack, you little bitch."  But you can't cure gay as much as you can't cure stupid.

So-  I found this on Pinterest which describes my feelings exactly!  I need to constantly remind myself that ignorance is not confined to any one segment of humans.  Regardless of race, gender and sexuality.  No one has a corner on it.

Gay, lesbian, cross dresser, transgender, transsexual or straight- no one.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

What Does Transgender Mean to You?

Many times we miss the forest for the trees as we go on a trip of gender self discovery. Plus, if you are "more mature" like I am, it was literally years before a term such as transgender became well known at all.

Today though, the term transgender has become a "catch all term" for gender fluid women and men all the way to transsexuals. In a rare moment of clarity, I stopped my world and thought, was does transgender mean to me and am I correct in applying it to myself.

Very simply, my own personal definition is transgender means exactly what it implies, "neither male or female but somewhere in between." I'm in transit between the genders something like this - when I'm not forced to crawl around and fix plumbing in my house, I yearn for a pair of fuzzy slippers to keep my feet warm. Similar to any other genetic male or female, I'm doing what I have to do to keep this place and my body together.

I fielded a question today from a person from another site who sought me out for advice, of which I'm always flattered. Very quickly as a point of reference, the conversation turned into a discussion of percentage. How much did I live as a woman versus how much she did and how did HRT effect the whole process. We actually were exact opposites. My "time as girl" was very high and hers was very low.

I consider "chats" such as these are a good way to reassess who I am. At the same time I have a chance to give a person who is thinking about seeing a therapist as the first step towards HRT, a little insight into the process. I continue to feel the true tragedy within the transgender community are people who never really learn their true spot in the gender world, until it's too late. Indeed, the landscape is dotted with those who went under the SRS knife only to learn the ultimate cut just wasn't the right one for them or the older folks who will forever wonder if they should have tried.

So, I know the transgender term is a comfy place for me to hang out because no matter how the outside world is viewing me, I know what my head is thinking.

Recently too, I have several visitors here in the Condo and other places ask how I knew I was trans and not a cross dresser or transsexual.  The answer was quite simple as I look back on it. I never felt whole just putting on women's clothes but once I did begin to feel whole, I knew SRS wouldn't make my situation any better. As I said, my head tells me I'm a trans woman, not what the configuration is between my legs.

I'm fond of saying I don't have any therapy shingles to hang up anywhere and the best advice I never got was the most important one: You really have no idea of how the other gender lives until you have the chance to peek in and live it and the process better go deeper than just prancing around in a mall. (Did that too!) Just a guess but before you label yourself, it would be a tremendous idea to learn what the label is all about.

Oh by the way, no charge for this session!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Raika Ferraz

From OnTop Magazine:



Twenty-one-year-old Raika Ferraz (shown on left) Monday won the title of “Miss T Brazil” in Rio. Twenty-eight contestants competed for the title during the country's second annual pageant. Ferraz won a sex change operation in Thailand but said she would not undergo full sex reassignment surgery. “I'll get my nose done and a bit of botox,” Ferraz told gay news site Neto Lucon. “I also think I'm a little bit fat.” “What matters is that you feel happy with who you are, you know,” Ferraz told the AFP. “If you're a transsexual who hasn't had surgery and you like yourself that way, well that's what matters. And what also matters is respecting individuals.”

Marjorie Marchi of the Association of Transvestites and Transsexuals of Rio told the news agency that the pageant also serves to increase awareness. “We use beauty as a political strategy, so that these people can benefit from policies that could change the sad and degrading context that transvestites and transsexuals still live in in most South American countries,” Marchi said. Ferraz will represent Brazil at next year's Miss International Queen 2014 in Thailand.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

It's Three AM

Through the magic of "Blogger" land, I finally learned long ago I can "store" up posts and publish them here in Cyrsti's Condo at my leisure.

This post is actually being written at 3 in the morning.  About an hour ago my dog figured she heard something out of place and rose to the occasion with a couple of "woofs". Since she is very old (14) and barking is an effort for her, I pay attention.

These days, the possibility of a threat (real or imagined) is different for me.  I'm not the fairly sizable macho person anymore. I never really was you understand but felt it was one of those so called "male privilege" gifts which come with the gender.  With a loud dog or so at my side and a big stick I could bluff my way through.

Three in the morning comes one of two ways.  The first is what the hell am I doing up.  The second is why do I have so much clarity now?.Of course it helps that I'm semi retired and don't feel the old pressure to go back to sleep now and face the reality of twenty cups of coffee later.  All semi retirement really means  I still work more than I did but on my own schedule. Unlike the rest of the world an afternoon "kitty nap" can be a reality.

My clarity this morning quickly moved past the realization that I was not the man I used to be (Duh!). I took a moment to reflect what exactly I had become. Was I still me? Not so long ago I was ashamed to be me and felt feeling at all comfortable with my male past made me an impostor somehow in the transition process. As I'm finding now though, taking the pressure off of who I wasn't, is making life so much easier today. Me is still me without the gender pressure and now there is the physical process adding to a vastly different external me..

Early in the HRT process it seemed the minimal amount of hormonal dosage caused a real noticeable effect. Within months, I noticed changes in my skin texture, breast tenderness and growth and the beginnings of a really full head of hair. Along the way, emotional changes as well as a broken body thermostat became as evident as my first large hot flash. I was too cold when I was cold and too hot when I was hot.

The most frustrating part of the past year and a half though, was stabilizing my dosages and making steady progress. Now that I have been there for the past three months or so, I have made the transition into androgyny. I garner attention now if I'm dressed as a guy or a girl.  Going braless has taken up a whole different meaning for me now.

Changes are becoming less dramatic and smoother and I have been very surprised with the amount of mental changes still taking place versus the physical ones.  An example I wrote about recently was football day at my girlfriends neighborhood tavern.  To the seeming surprise of no one else, I made sure our game was on the big screen, helped order and used the rest room...as a girl. As I have thought for awhile, gee, this is how life is supposed to be but a half century of conditioning to the contrary still makes a process a wondrous experience.

I have always been a pusher my whole life. Once I reached a certain plateau, what's next ? The clarity of 3 AM tells me I need to relax and enjoy what I have now. Believe me I have been as obsessed as most of us ( from cross dressers to SRS transsexuals).  As a cross dresser I always thought if I just had that special dress or wig or whatever I would be in feminine nirvana. Now it's easy to think the lure of hair removal, facial feminization or breast augmentation will take me to the next level. Nirvana it turns out was close all the time and residing in my noggin. Can't say any of the procedures wouldn't be a worthwhile deal but I won't live or die without them.

When we are born we start the trip towards death and at my age I'm fortunate to have been able to live the "impossible" transgender dream before it was too late for me. I don't believe in luck but I do believe in doing your best to put yourself in a situation where luck can find you..."Hey Lady Luck! I'm your BFF Cyrsti, Yoo Hoo!.

As you can tell, my brief shot at clarity is coming to an end and the reality of the early morning is telling me to not question - just enjoy and go back to bed.

Or it could be I'm  getting chilled after a 90+ degree day. The early  breezes should feel good on me! Damn hormones!











Monday, August 26, 2013

Flying High with "Skyler"!

From Georgia and the Transadvocate comes this story about a young transgender girl by the name of Skyler. (left)

Unfortunately she doesn't represent the majority of transgender youth but she does symbolize what can happen in a loving understanding family with the resources to help. Here's a little background:

Skylar, is a twelve-year-old transgender girl in Georgia, who earlier had been denied use of the girls’ restroom at her school. (of course) But sometime later,  the administration had listened to reason and reversed the school’s decision. A few days ago, Skylar returned now is back to school and is being treated the same as the other girls in her classes.

From the article and the pictures, it seems Skylar is doing well and has gotten out ahead of the "puberty curve" with blockers which keep her from developing male characteristics. Which I understand are not permanent if later she decides the male to female transition process was not the right move.

In the meantime her story brings to mind a comment a person sent along to me recently about the feminine imprint genetic girls naturally receive early in life. The picture to the right of Skyler (center) her younger sister Sylvie and Jazz (another trans girl) seems to show a strong imprint.


Interestingly, the idea of the permanency of gender imprinting has come up in other discussions I have seen and been in concerning SRS transsexuals later in life. Do they indeed revert back to their male past on occasions? Is it bad and does the imprinting slowly fade like a bad tattoo?

Who knows? Depends upon the person.  The only certainty is having the freedom of gender choice and the resources to pursue the journey with care and guidance is special.  Unfortunately the door is closed so tightly to so many.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

A Ten Percenter

Lately I seem to have been watching several shows on Biker Gangs.  Some are known as "one percenters" because of their life styles. 99% of bike gangs are law abiding guys next door. These guys, not so much.

At any rate, I began to think of myself as one of the ten percenters, because of the recently released figures which showed that only 10% of the overall public has ever met a transgender person.

By then I was I was thinking of a fashionable line of leather 10% coats, vests, jewelry and skirts.  Plus, maybe a 10% "T" tattoo would be cool too!

Then I figured with my luck new facts and figures would come out and transgender women and men would move up a point or two in the standings.  My whole line of clothing, tats and even jewelry would be obsolete!

I would be quickly becoming a fan of those transitioned transsexuals to stay in their closets and leave my income alone!

Friday, June 21, 2013

Trans Wiring

Last night I watched a rerun on Lisa Ling's Our America television show on transsexuals and then stayed around for the show on Exodus International which for most of its existence insisted gay people could be turned straight.

It seems now the group has shut itself down and will reemerge as a new "ministry" in the future. From the Advocate.com comes a more complete look at Exodus and the show:


"Decades after leading U.S. mental health organizations agreed that being gay is not a disorder, a small segment of American society, driven largely by religion, has persisted in saying homosexuality is something that can and should be “cured.”

While there has always been ample skepticism about the “ex-gay” movement, recent developments indicate the movement is becoming more marginal than ever — it’s not dead, but it’s certainly in critical condition. Stories are legion of those who’ve gone through so-called reparative therapy, seeking to turn from gay to straight, only to find the therapy is not only ineffective but downright harmful. Mainstream mental health professionals have condemned it. One state has outlawed it, and others are likely to follow. Even the president of Exodus International has renounced such therapy and says Exodus is no longer part of the ex-gay movement."


As a transgender woman, this is one battle I can sit off to the side and watch with interest. If indeed I could look in on the situation with the "supposed" lack of understanding the average gay person shows with us- it would be different. But I can't. We all know the transgender cure is the closet.

So I end up wondering what was really behind Exodus? It is not totally cynical of me to consider the deal as yet another money grab?  I have no idea if the process was free but you don't have to look far into the financial records of the biggest evangelists to understand "spreading the gospel" is very lucrative.

Of course I don't know and to somewhat of an extent don't care but it is always good to see such a ruse such as Exodus go down in flames. You can bet on one thing though, there are certainly any number of peeps (some in pulpits) spending long hours figuring how to pick up these pieces, hurt more people and make a buck in the process. It's not going to matter we know we are wired this way!

In fact, years ago my Mom offered to pay for electro shock therapy to rid me of my transvestite urges.  I would have just short circuited the voltage.

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Married in Malta

The government of Malta has decided to amend the Marriage Act. Now transsexuals may marry partners of their choice according to their 'acquired' gender. The decision was brought on largely due to the efforts of Joanne Cassar a post op transsexual woman (right).

From Maltatoday

"Details on the legal amendment will reflect the principle that, by officially recognising a person's reassigned gender identity through documentation (eg, ID card or driver's licence), the State also de facto commits itself to acknowledging and protecting all the rights and privileges associated with that particular gender identity. These rights include that of marrying a person of the opposite sex: something hitherto denied for persons in this (admittedly uncommon) predicament. Once the legal amendments are in place, the case filed against Malta by Cassar will be withdrawn, and her legal expenses refunded by the State. The right of transgender persons to marry was firmly established in a preceding case dating back to 2002 - Christine Goodwin vs. the United Kingdom - where the ECtHR held that it found no justification for barring transsexuals from enjoying the right to marry under any circumstances."


"Cassar's reaction on Facebook was: "kemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm jiena ferhanaaaaaaaaaaaaa grazzi il maltin ghax vera malta taghna il koll :) kemm jien ecitataaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..." [sic] No direct translation can quite do justice to such a spontaneous expression of "happiness", "excitement" and "gratitude". Suffice it to say that her keyboard evidently shared in her enthusiasm."

Cute!!!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

"Insta" SRS

Yes sometimes I'm an opinionated bitch I know and one of my favorite subjects is the availablity of non researched sex changes in places such as Thailand. It makes no difference if you have lived a week a month or a year as your chosen gender- just have the money.
My belief what this leads to is transgender individuals  (who may not be) may be led down a path of no return without proper socialization. I believe some feel that with enough cash, anything is possible and after a trip overseas and a couple months of healing- POOF - all life's ills will be solved. I knew a person like this. She merely became the best looking cross dresser in the room-even with her store bought equipment.
I'm not good enough to write about this as well as this post I read. It's written by Jillian at the Montreal Gazette:

"For those of you who are planning to physically transition, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of the real-life experience period. I know about the desire to get on HRT as quickly as possible, and to circumvent the accepted standards of care by getting hormones through online pharmacies and/or the black market and/or less-than-qualified medical personnel. Don’t do it. If you are going to make such great changes in your life, it is worth doing it properly, with the help of competent, objective therapists and endocrinologists. As for SRS, living 24/7 for a year or two as a woman (or man, if you are a FtM person) before having surgery is extremely important, for obvious reasons. Among them, you will see how the world accepts or rejects you, and you will have plenty of opportunity to change your mind, with no long-term consequences. I don’t often hear about people who regret transitioning, because most people who transition follow the traditional standards of care. But there are cases of people who have regretted transitioning — after going on HRT and/or having surgery. In some of those cases, the people circumvented the system and rushed into it. I’ve heard of cases in which people got the papers needed through less-than-ideal ways and faxed them to Thailand and, presto, they were on the surgeon’s table in no time at all. The trans community has pleaded with the gatekeepers to make it easier to transition. And it is easier now than it ever has been before. As a result, it puts more onus on you to really be sure about what you are doing. And the best way to be sure is to go through a prolonged real-life experience period. If you can’t do it, or are afraid to do it, then you probably should not be transitioning at all."

As my wife once told me years ago "you make a terrible woman". It's not what is on the outside. It's the inside that counts.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The True Meaning of Halloween

Yes, it is the official Halloween.
Time to look at the defacto top annual holiday of most trans and cross dressers  I have known-including me.
Unless you are one the transsexuals who knew from an early youth without a doubt who you were in the gender world, Halloween presented a rite of passage for most of the rest of us.
Parties of course provided the chance for us to open the door and check out the world from a gender perspective we had only dreamed of. Some of us were sly and even used the opportunity to have genetic women around us unknowingly "show them the ropes" leading to the night of their dreams.
Countless others of us learned how those sexy heels you just had to wear became very uncomfortable- as much so as explaining how long it took to shave your legs and who did your makeup.
But through it all, so many of us just knew this felt more than good- it felt right.
The true meaning of Halloween!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Transgender Girls in the Dating World

Recently I came across a post called "Would you be seen with me?"
The stark simplicity of the question is certainly a subject most transgender women and men have thought of.
If you are out and about and date-it's an all encompassing question. Especially if you do- or are considering dating men-it's a bigger question.
Before I comment, here is an excerpt from the post written by Racheal McGonigal (right)

"So who is up for a date? It is not really the right question to be asking. It should probably be, who is prepared to be seen out on a date with me? It takes a very special man to date a transsexual and that is a shame. Believe me, men love transsexuals but being seen with them is a different story."
t is some eight years since I have been in a relationship and I miss the closeness and cuddles. Recently, I meet a really nice guy. Average to good looking, fit, can communicate, we get on. First date went well, we meet in a bar and I admit I have never felt like this before. He told me he felt the same and so he stayed the night, both of us saying it was never our intention. Next day we walked hand-in-hand around the viaduct, ate in cafes and drunk in bars. We played pool and he never batted an eye lid. The romance continued. He has come to my place and stayed the night several times but now I see a problem: he is scared of what his 18-year-old son, middle-aged beer drinking flat mate, former partner and workmates will say. He says he doesn't care, that he wants us to be friends and has similar feelings for me, but he won't introduce me to his circle. Peer pressure. Time will tell what will happen between us but he is a special man. It is a hard choice when it's the bigotry of friends that put this pressure on him."

I'm far from being an expert at dating a man.
Here's my record over the past four years: One was a prince, one moved away, one so-so and four just out and out stood me up. I'm certain I would have been twenty times more popular if I would have accepted the ever so popular "which hotel do you want to meet at?"
Obviously, I didn't have to be told I was not the kind of woman a man would bring home to his family nor did I ask. But I was also not the sexually easy stereotype we trans girls fight through.
Look, I'm sure in many ways we transgender women are experiencing the same dating trials and tribulations as genetic women. Also, my older lesbian friends tell me their dating scene is nearly impossible to be a success in (at least around here).

I've written so many times how wonderful it is to have my little circle of friends...all of whom are genetic females...if that tells you anything!