Showing posts with label gender dynamics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender dynamics. Show all posts

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Happy Birthday "Y'All"

I guess I'm fortunate enough- no let me say I am fortunate enough to be invited along on uniquely feminine activities. The latest was a birthday celebration with four other women.
Birthday's for guys and for kids are different for women.  Just to sit down over dinner or whatever and exchange a card or even a cupcake among friends just had a different feel.

Women form different friendship bonds which are so much more complex than men.  Of course family and relationships are the major topics of conversation but there is more. Last night for example, one of the women's daughter was experiencing early labor pains.  During dinner she was in constant contact with Mom (the birthday girl) about the process.  Even I know most all women experience them and it's usually a false sign the baby is arriving.   The call started a conversation around the table about child birth experiences.  Three out of five of the women could contribute and two of us couldn't. I have obvious reasons and I'm not exactly sure about my other friend.

The whole tribal evening was primeval in it's scope I believe. Without being too melodramatic, I'm just using cavemen and women as an example.  Women of course were tied in to the home front much more than the men.  Over the centuries a female may really dislike the woman in the next cave over but for the most part may not go and try to harm her. Instead the process carries over into the clique I was part of last night. The gender dynamics of gossip and passive aggressiveness were fascinating.

Over the years, I have written on the benefits of learning the dynamics of feminine communication. Last night, I had to keep rebooting my male trained mind to understand what the girls were really saying. When was a bitch a real bitch and when she wasn't. Or when was a compliment genuine or just nice "how you doing girl" warm and fuzzy?

My solution was and is to be an interested observer and learner-which is impossible for most of this group.  As an accepted part of the circle, I do participate and learn at the same time.

Of course the whole evening was just another stop on this long transgender journey. I know I should never take any of this for granted so it's time to learn and move on to the next party.  Hope I make it!

Trans Peaks and Valleys

Image from the Jessie Hart Archives. Lifetime as a whole presents us with many peaks and valleys to negotiate. Since I am transgender and al...