Prom Time

I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo about my three very accepting grand children.  I am so proud of the diversity and acceptance my daughter has instilled in them.

For years my grand daughter has presented as androgynous. However, she took it to a very gender fluid height for this years' senior prom. Her high school, obviously accepts diversity too!

Check out her picture! To my knowledge she hasn't mentioned any preferred pronouns as of yet.

Wow! I'm so proud!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day (Archive)

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"The biggest risk of all is not taking one at all". Normally always heard from a person who took the risk and succeeded.
 I have never had a problem living this quote in my life, which leads me to the second quote:
"Some you win, some you lose and some get rained out."  The big difference these days is I carry a different style of rain gear!

AAAAARG! Matey!

In the thousand year or so history of Cyrsti's Condo or JJ's House, the blog was basically designed to show one side (mine) of a Mtf gender transition.

If you go back to the first year or so of the blog, you will detect the predictable love with everything externally feminine or as I like to call them "my cross dressing years."

Throughout the years, I grew from being a CD to being a proud transgender woman-but still learning.

After I sprouted my own set of breasts through the miracle of HRT, I learned a couple neat feminine hygienic musts such as washing under my armpits and under my breasts for the pesky "under boob" summer sweat.

Also I learned the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat when I change my two estrogen patches in Ohio humidity. They turn out to be like goo by the time I am done. Then again, some would argue I turn into a moody puddle o goo if I don't take them!

So there you go. Before you go thinking all those pretty, pretty princess pix on line are easy (except mine) look behind the scenes!

Transition VII

Over the past week or so here in Cyrsti's Condo we have been going over my levels of a Mtf transition. At level VII you are past (as Connie wrote) the "wide eyed wonders of a world you so have desperately wanted to live. 

All of a sudden you don't have to spend an hour in front of the mirror every morning to do your shopping at the grocery to be referred to as "she" or "her." All of that though does not come without peril, as your mind starts to wonder "is that all there was to all of this?" Then again you start to wonder just why didn't I do this sooner.

In reality Level VII should be the "jumping off point" to a possible GRS and changing your legal gender markers for good.

For example, all my important gender markers have been changed, but I still don't see (or feel) like a genitalia reassignment surgery should be in my future. I have learned though to never say never. 

Plus I worry over nursing home and other health issues in my future, so Level VIII is never too far off and then there is death. If I'm writing from the other side-you all need to worry!!!!

The Power/Problem of Trans Youth.

In a recent Cyrsti's  Condo post we wrote about the potential problems a very attractive young transgender girl would have dating and finding a relationship. When do you tell a potential lover you have not been the gender of your choice - your entire life?

I have always been a believer in "total disclosure" when it comes to a potential trans relationship-even if the person has gone through total SRS. Plus, it's easy for me to say, because I haven't and seemingly won't ever get into that situation. 

Not so much at all with Claire Green on the left who is being featured in a British (BBC 3) Documentary  “Young, Trans and Looking for Love” (Image via Barcroft TV/BBC 3).

I think too many of us also think "Wow! If I ever looked like Claire, how could I ever have any problems?" As I have always said, looks  are only the beginning. The  younger the trans person, the more the continuing culture of legal transgender discrimination and rest room hassles become all so much more compelling. 

Claire obviously has made it to stage one and doesn't need me to point out she is just getting started.

I have added a link to one of her YouTube videos here.

"Back in Black?"

Jen Smith sent in a comment on a Cyrsti's Condo post which went several different directions and ended up on wigs:

 Cyrsti, I *really* like how you look in the picture with the black hair!

With my my limited public exposure so far, I think I worry first about how my face is presenting, then the wig for sure is #2. 

But after I'm out in public, there isn't too much I can do to improve my makeup, so I found myself mildly obsessed with how my hair was looking. When we were out shopping I was constantly looking at reflections of myself in windows and store mirrors to see if it needed adjusting.

It's probably a lot worse for me as I've always kept my hair very short.

Excellent points Jen! (And thanks for the compliment!)  Ironically the wig colors were both very similar to my natural hair color, before the gray! On the other hand-my Mom's family was dominated by red heads.

I think becoming skilled enough to "match" my foundation makeup to my skin and then to a hair color was a very tough learning process.  Plus, as I started to go public more and began to build a stable feminine persona-switching wig styles and colors was not good for the process.

Like so many other cross dressers I too went down the "blond" route, which in itself is not bad.  Unless you try to go too blond like I did.  The "honey blond" which I will show you in an ancient picture worked well for me for years.

I too, did the mirror thing everytime I went out.  I did it for two reasons.  I was trying to reassure myself that was me in the reflection and did I look the best I could.  Many times I just gave up in disgust and went home-back to the drawing board.

Like you Jen, I kept my hair very short except for a brief time in the late 70's.  Growing up my brother and I always were subjected to crew cuts or burr hair cuts.  Even when I started college in 1968 at Muskingum and came home with hair touching my collar and ears the parents figured for sure I was a hippie. 

Combined with the blessing of having no male pattern baldness in my family, I think being forced to have short hair all those years benefits me now.  My hair has not had to endure a lifetime of being colored, styled, torched and permed like a genetic my age.

Finally Jen, indeed I may go back to the "darkside" this winter.  I still have those wigs around which Liz and I can judge the look.  One way or another, it's fun! Thanks again for the comment!

Walking Tall -Two

Thanks to all of you for the comments concerning the "personal security" post I wrote a couple days ago which happened to involve -more precisely a transgender woman's murder (suspect arrested) and my partner Liz and I's night at the Northern Kentucky Pride event pub crawl.

As far as Cincinnati goes, the downtown area along the Ohio River is positively booming and will soon be home to a huge GE (General Electric) headquarters but as with any other place, there are places you don't want to be as a guy and especially as a woman and even more so as a transgender woman.

I'm fortunate for all the wrong reasons when my personal security is involved.  To quote a term from the trans woman (left) in the movie "Better than Chocolate", she is not just a big woman-she is enormous. 

This body I received through no choice of my own has kept me healthy over 65 years, big enough to not be bullied, etc...but...of course it does not MtF easily. Like so many others, I wasn't lucky enough to be born into a time and a family where I could have considered a choice of not having my body do what it was born to do...masculinize.


So now, this curious gender critter I have become has a chance of keeping unwanted advances away. The usual good news/bad news story.

None of it mattered though if and when I found myself  in potentially violent situations.  You all know the drill.  Know your surroundings and if you can carry some sort of deterrent such as pepper spray.  I have read comments here and there cross dressers and or transgender women saying they are "packing heat" (a gun) and are ready to fire away.  To be certain, if I did that, I would be in danger of shooting myself first and yes I did go through Army infantry training.

The most important lesson I pass along every now and then here in Cyrsti's Condo is how fast you can find yourself in a bad situation.  Years ago, I was cornered by a much bigger guy than I and would have been put in a possible very bad situation if I wasn't "recused". 

Before that experience, I had a very smug idea about women being sexually assaulted.  I always wondered why some of them didn't see it coming.  Two out of three of the potentially bad spots I found myself in, I didn't see it coming,  and one in fact, was in a friend's decidedly upscale home.

In the past, I have had as many comments around here concerning personal security as I have had about rest room issues.  All you have to do is look at the stats to see how big of a problem violence is to the TG/CD community and the problem is even worse if you are a transperson of color.

All of us just have to be extra careful out there!

Prom Daze

I wrote a post here in Cyrsti's Condo perhaps two years ago revisiting my prom experiences and got blitzed by a couple readers.  Their problems seemed to be wrapped around the fact I went to Prom at all and was sort of bragging about it. For them to even think that represents a real failure on my part of communicating my thoughts.  To you international visitors, "Prom" is a spring ritual rite of teen passage-often involving more angst, expense and even pain than anything else.  In other words it's a formal dance, dinner etc.

I went to my junior and senior proms.  Interestingly, it's held against me now, by some who want to attach some sort of former male privilege to going.  I thought just the opposite was true.  As the guy, I had to find a date, not be the one in the pretty dress, and finance most of the evening.  Some "privilege", right?  I know now of course, the view from the girls side of the fence wasn't quite that green either.  She had to wait to get asked, obsess over finding the right dress and hope the clumsy boy (me) didn't gouge her trying to pin the corsage on or ruin her new shoes stepping on them while we danced.  Oh yes, I experienced another male privilege when I got cornered by my senior date's Dad, and told what not to do with his daughter.

Sadly, at least in my generation, the whole affair was set up for failure and we never knew it.  The popular kids socialized and won Queen and King contests, while the rest of us struggled along just by being there, or not going at all.  Today there is hope as more and more schools are being forced to open up their prom events to transgender, gay or lesbian students.  As with so many other things, the younger generation is doing a better job than we did, which is wonderful!

Oh yes, there are two side notes to my senior prom.  One is tragic because years later my date committed suicide following her second divorce.  Among other things, she was worried about her declining looks -she was a beautiful 40 something woman when she did it. Maybe her Dad should have spent more time building her esteem and not harassing me (No grudge though!). The other is fun in that the supper club we had dinner in that night years later became a gay venue.  I couldn't wait to go there and use the same bathroom the girls used that night - and I did and didn't pee down my leg!

So there you go kids, I hope maybe this time I was able to do do a better job of communicating what prom meant to me.

Cyrsti's Condo "What If" Cover Girls

It's Saturday here in the Condo kids and time to lighten up a bit and pass along a couple "what if" pictures.  Here's my insight into what the genetic women with their cross dressed guys are thinking.
The first one:  "Ha ha! and he thinks this isn't going on my Facebook page!
The second:  "You know, I don't really mind him dressing like a slut, but those yellow heels???? Really????"

I'm Such a Boob!

I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo too much lately about my bra shopping trip recently.  What I didn't mention was how I planned to "fill" my purchase.

Last night, Liz and I were planning to go see her Dad, grocery shop and run a few other errands. I have a low cut long black sweater I was planning to wear, so I figured it was time to "play" with my new bra. It's a "C" cup and I'm only a full "A" with the effects of HRT.  The "B" turned out to be a bitch to fill.  With the bra, I also bought a pair of small inserts to fill out my "C" bra which turned out to not be enough to work.

At my size, I need a full "C" or "D" to fill out my fashion needs plus I feel breasts are one of the top three tools to a successful presentation.  I don't have a visible Adam's Apple to speak of (no pun intended) but do have a short thick neck.  I need a "V" neck top to add a longer line to my upper torso look.  Any cleavage I can add helps me present feminine with less problems plus if a person is in the middle reading me as a transgender woman, breasts may put me over the top but I digress.

I still needed "fill" to go to a full "C".  I didn't want to resort to going back to my "D" silicone breast forms but I did.  Turned out to be a good move.  The only thing I sacrificed was my pride.  My new bra was an under wire push up model so between my natural breast growth and the inserts, I was easily able to achieve a realistic breast look. Specifically when I bent over at all.  I was happy, my girls weren't all mine of course but anymore more, who knows how many genetic women aren't playing the same game?

Once again I wondered "what took me so long, you boob!"

From Russia with Love

From the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Trans Man Security

A television show who has a main transgender character has pretty much flown under the radar, at least to me.
It's called Small Town Security on the AMC Channel.

One of the characters on the show is a transgender man, Dennis Croft seen in the picture on the right. Dennis is the man on the left in uniform.

Like I said, I really missed all of this and this is one of my "better late than never" posts here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Regardless of how the quality of the show may be perceived, Dennis's public journey should not be minimized.

I'm also going to add a YouTube video on the big screen: