No Choice...No Game

Yesterday's mammogram and today's call from my endocrinologist have proven to me again how my transgender journey came from having no choice and is definitely no game.  I have always been humored in a negative way by those who think any of us had a choice to go down this road.

Even though I chose the newer 3-D method of mammogram (thanks Michelle), the procedure was no walk in the park. For those of you who don't know, a "3-D gram" provides a better look at denser breast tissue, normally associated with transgender patients.

The technician was different in how she phrased the question most civilians want to know, when she innocently asked if I had completed my Mtf transition or still was expecting work to "move things around." I had a notion to say it was none of her business until I thought ahead and realized this person was going to cause me some potential discomfort. So I just replied I thought I was close to being done. Our local Transgender community was recently shocked by a trans woman who passed on (in her 40's) from complications when she went through breast augmentation, facial feminization and gender realignment surgery in the same procedure.

As we were finishing up and walking down the hall to leave, she was pleasantly telling me her about her love for upscale purses and then never carrying them.

So hopefully I will be done with mammograms, which I call a rite of passage, until next year.

The game part of this post will be coming up in my next Cyrsti's Condo offering, as this one is getting a little long. Stay tuned.

Crossing the Gender Frontier

Last night's cross dresser - transgender support group get together did provide a couple interesting moments.

One in particular was a new attendee. She was two years post op and nearly unrecognizable as having any kind of male past at all. It turned out she wasn't transgender or transsexual (if you will) but was an inter-sexed person. Her travel to finally get the State of Ohio to  force the insurance company to cover her surgery, was incredibly complicated, sad and included  an amazing amount of time in the courts. She claimed several years ago when this all happened, she was even accosted for it by bigots on the street.

As interesting as her story was, she got to me when she asked the group of approximately 16 people how many were interested in "transitioning all the way." Meaning of course having Genital Realignment Surgery. Which, by the way, is becoming much easier here in Ohio. New surgeons are coming on line in all the major cities and even insurance is becoming more available.

At first I almost said my transition is done according to her terms. But then I began to think it  isn't according to my ideas. You see, I don't have any desire at this time to have any kind of surgery outside of breast augmentation. It helps of course, I have a very supportive long term partner who fully accepts me as a trans woman.

I also, have my age (69) to think of ,as well as my gender dysphoria which continues to hang around. I believe it always will in one form or another. I can't see GRS relieving my dysphoria any time soon, so I guess I could say I will always be transitioning.

From cradle to grave.

More "Support" Mail

I received quite a bit of mail on several topics here in Cyrsti's Condo, including "transgender support groups", or just women's support groups:

First from Paula Goodwin:

1. Paula GoodwinJanuary 22, 2018 at 7:15 PM

   "My own group, which I often describe as a "support group" offers "Mutual social Support", we meet in a local family pub, so basically it's a chance to share a few drinks with some friends."
2. Paula, the group I go to the most has most of it's get together s in restaurants and/or bars. I don't go for any number of reasons. Including not feeling real chummy with most of them, all the way to having real bad experiences with groups of drinking cross dressers who have embarrassed me totally. Some of the pictures I have seen, lead me to believe, this bunch does have the potential to be the same.
3.  Plus I just cant drink much anymore and risk driving. Thanks for the comment! :) 
4. And, from Connie:
5. 
   
6. FABULOUSCONNIEDEEJanuary 22, 2018 at 7:16 PM

   
   As has been discussed here in your Cyrsti's Condo many times, trans women of our age are possibly considered to be dinosaurs by the younger crowd. We may receive some admiration for all of the crap we had to go through in "the olden days," but much of that is irrelevant to younger people's issues today. I think it's funny that, since the first time I went out in public, I had never hesitated to use a ladies room until doing so became politicized. 
7. "I, like you, pretty much navigated my way through finding myself without the support of others. These days, I may belong in a support hose group with a bunch of old ladies, but not necessarily transgender ones. I'm just hoping for a few more years of not needing the support of a cane or walker. :-)
8. The few support group meetings I have attended included some discussion about restrooms, however. One young (19 y/o) trans woman, who had already undergone GRS, was homeless, spending most of her daytime hours in the public library. She had been banned from using the ladies room at the library, though, and was forced to go across the street to a fast food spot with a unisex restroom. She went on and on about how this was such an interference to her transition, until she then switched to how men were rejecting her sexually. I think she said that she identified as gender queer, but I could only sit there thinking that, if she made the effort to be more feminine in appearance, neither of those problems would be so serious. 
9. I did not express my thoughts, though, as I'm sure that they would have done more harm than good. She definitely needed professional help, and much more than a support group could provide. In fact, I mostly just sat there looking pretty - which wasn't hard to do considering the appearance of the dozen or so others in the room. I was the only one who could not declare the amount of time I had been on HRT, yet I felt like I had transitioned far beyond this group. I really did feel out of place, more like a mother who had accompanied one of the young trans kids. I could empathize, but I found it difficult to relate on their level.
10. 
    I don't know if my presence helped anyone in that group, but I never returned to find out."
11. Thanks Connie, our moderator in the one group goes to great lengths to tell really troubled individuals the group is not for trained counseling. The VA group though, has a trained licensed therapisr in charge.

Aim High and Work Back

I went to my transgender veteran support group yesterday and did get a chance to hear from the person who said she completed GRS on Medicare.

Questions here in Cyrsti's Condo ranged from how to total disbelief.

She said she found a doctor in Indianapolis, Indiana who would do the surgery and accepted Medicare and proceeded to jump through the hoops from there.

So, if you believe it or not, there was your answer!

Jazzin' It Up

If you follow Jazz Jenning's television show, you will know she has reached her sixteenth birthday and is actively searching for a surgeon to perform genital reassignment surgery on her. Without getting too technical, Jazz has run into several problems. First of all, Jazz has been on male hormone blockers since puberty and while she is completely passable, she now doesn't have enough penile material to create a proper size vagina.

She is also pursuing information on a procedure I had never heard of, when a vagina is fashioned out of a piece of the colon which has it's problems too. The doctors are telling her about excess mucous and even an odor for the first eight months or so.

At any rate, the show has really delved down into what a few of the problems with GRS can be.

Also, Jazz has a trans friend on the show who did not start with puberty blockers and has a harder time presenting as a woman. Both of the transgender girls provide an interesting backdrop and look into a trans teen's life, including dating.

Noelle

 
I am Jazz is on the "TLC" Network where I would hope you can stream back episodes.

Summertime and the Living Isn't Easy

As we enter six straight days of weather pushing the heat index to around 100 degrees (F), the good "old" Ohio summer has become real old- real fast, and it's only July.

No matter, I should not be wishing time away any faster at my age, but a relief from the heat would be nice!

Other than all of that, the status quo has ruled my life, other than the day at Walmart last week. We do have a group meeting this Friday at a local state park. I tend to take it for granted that I am being accepted as a person and not a transgender woman in the group. Probably because the experience is so rare.

And, next week, is another meeting of our transgender support group which always seems to be interesting. Plus I have not forgotten to ask Ms. Medicare GRS (genitalia reassignment surgery)  for details, if she shows up. Finally, there is another cross dresser/transgender social group meeting next Monday.

So ironically, life is moving as slow as a glacier in all this heat, but it keeps moving nonetheless.

Guess I better have my tank tops and capri's ready to go!

Gender Reassignment Surgery

As I continue to "catch up" on all the back comments here in Cyrsti's Condo, I thought this one from Paula in the UK was highly significant, especially in the midst of the health care battle going on now in the U.S.

"Here in the UK our treatment is part of the NHS, certainly GRS is available, with top surgery also available for many MtoFs as well. Our medication is funded, yet electrolysis and other "cosmetic" treatments can be hard to get or not available depending on just where you live. 

Nobody will get NHS treatment before everybody is happy that they are ready, and that means socially and physically, after all this is major surgery and your need to be fit and healthy to get through it; there is also the "real life experience" which mean that we are expected to have lived in our true gender identity for some time (usually a couple of years) before being referred for surgery. It is worth noting that although the surgery is funded not all us will opt for it, taking the financial burden away makes it easier to focus on exactly what it is that is really needed."

Thanks Paula! 

I also know some individuals who don't think Medicare should cover Gender Reassignment Surgery at all in this country and they have their valid points too.

As far as the person goes who started this discussion, I won't see her until again until the latter part of July to garner any more information. In the meantime, I did ask my therapist and all she could say was she thought the person started with a doctor in the Indianapolis, Indiana area who did the surgery and took Medicare...then worked her way backwards from there.

I will try to find out more (as I said) from our next  LGBT transgender veteran meeting.

Transition VII

Over the past week or so here in Cyrsti's Condo we have been going over my levels of a Mtf transition. At level VII you are past (as Connie wrote) the "wide eyed wonders of a world you so have desperately wanted to live. 

All of a sudden you don't have to spend an hour in front of the mirror every morning to do your shopping at the grocery to be referred to as "she" or "her." All of that though does not come without peril, as your mind starts to wonder "is that all there was to all of this?" Then again you start to wonder just why didn't I do this sooner.

In reality Level VII should be the "jumping off point" to a possible GRS and changing your legal gender markers for good.

For example, all my important gender markers have been changed, but I still don't see (or feel) like a genitalia reassignment surgery should be in my future. I have learned though to never say never. 

Plus I worry over nursing home and other health issues in my future, so Level VIII is never too far off and then there is death. If I'm writing from the other side-you all need to worry!!!!