When Every Night is Girls Night

Grae Phillips is still active
on Facebook if you want to 
see more. Or just keep up. 

I know I make a big deal out of my second huge transition, when I mentally moved from being a serious part-time cross dresser into being a novice transgender woman.

Sometimes I feel as if I am putting myself on some sort of a gender pedestal when I write about not considering myself a cross dresser anymore. If it comes off that way, I don't mean it to. On occasion, the written word gets in my way. Getting back to the cross dresser versus transgender statement I made, I think in my case, it was a matter of me judging my own life. Originally, as I was working my way through my early years of admiring my girl self in the mirror, I knew it could never be enough. There had to be more. I was so tired of cross dressing for one day and then two or three days later wanting to do it again. 

As I always mention, all of this occurred back in the pre-internet information era when any news and contact with like minded gender individuals, be they transvestites or transsexuals, was very difficult and rare to come by. This was even before the barrage of talk shows led by the late Phil Donohue who interviewed female impersonators such as "Grae Phillips", all the way to transvestites seeking approval from a doubting world. It was quite a bit for me to sort out. But I did. I knew I could never be as beautiful and talented as Grae but I could reach the standards of most of the transvestites I saw on my television. There was hope for my future after all.

As I progressed into meeting more and more diverse cross dressers or the women known as the new transgender group I began to think what it would mean if I went all the way and every night became girls night. In other words, a time when I would never have to go back to my old male self and live. Deep down I knew there would have to be some sort of line drawn in the sand if I did. As much as I loved all the fun of the newness of applying makeup and picking out clothes, I wondered what would happen when the newness wore off and I needed to settle into the daily routine of the transgender womanhood.

It turned out, I had nothing to worry about. I settled into my new feminine routine as if I had always should have been living this way. I found I didn't have to do much special on many days such as most cis-women do and then again still have the fun of dressing up for special occasions. It was true, once I jumped the gender border from cross dresser to transgender, I could experience what life could be like if every night was girls night.  

The Original Girls Night Out

The Rubi Girls

Over a space in time, I have written about the girl's nights out I was fortunate to be invited to. During each one, I learned tons of information about how cis-women interact by themselves when there are no men in the group.

Last night it occurred to me I had forgotten perhaps the most important night out with women which I had ever experienced. My excuse is, it happened such a long time ago. Just after I came out to my daughter who immediately began to explore ways to get me more situated as a transgender woman. This time, she came up with the idea I should go along with her and her girl friends to a glitzy drag show in Dayton, Ohio.

The drag show was actually put on by a very entertaining group of female impersonators called the "Rubi Girls". They are still together to this day and have raised well over a million dollars over the years for AID'S research. They have been performing since the 1980's and I had heard about their legendary shows but had not ever made it to one...until my daughter stepped in.

It turned out the drag troupe had closer ties to my daughter's family than I had ever imagined. So close, my oldest grandson had one of the Rubi's as a fourth grade teacher where he went to school. Thanks to a remarkable amount of diversity back in those days, the teacher was a fully out gay man being allowed to teach. Further more, after I let my three grandchildren into my world, my fourth grader came home from school one day and announced how proud he was that the teacher and his new transgender grandparent were the same. Then my daughter need to explain the differences between the two of us. Which she gladly did. Diversity at it's finest.

At the point of going though, I wasn't thinking about the warm feelings involved with my new found family diversity as I was thinking about how scared I was to go at all. The last thing I wanted to do was embarrass my daughter or myself in front of her friends. As we prepared for the evening, my daughter even prepped me on the other women in the group to try my best to steer clear of. After what seemed like forever, the night rolled around as I obsessed on what to wear. I only remember now I just wanted to fit in with the suburban chic fashion my daughter and her friends were wearing. I also remember being very quiet and speaking only when I was spoken to. Again, because I was so scared. 

The whole evening really served to kick me out of my gender closet. I had it coming because I opened up to my daughter about my reality and she followed through in a big way. I survived by putting on my big girl panties and doing the best I could to enjoy the drag show. Looking back, after I was able to breathe, I think I could even be a little proud of myself for my accomplishment. In my mind at least, I felt I had made another giant step from being a cross dresser, all the way to achieving my dream of living as a transgender woman. In other words, I reached down and just pulled the band aid off as quickly as I could to preclude any pain.

Since my daughter owned a big van, she drove that night and for some reason I have never asked her if she had any negative feedback from any of her friends. If I remember, someday I will have to ask because I was just trying to act as if it was the most normal thing to do. When in fact, the whole evening was my first girls night out.

Popcorn Girl

 Recently I wrote a post explaining how I always wanted to look like one of the old time cigarette girls who sold tobacco products in nite clubs. Later on, after I wrote the post, I happened upon this photo of  famous female impersonator Grae Phillips. 

Photo Courtesy 
Grae Phillips 

Perhaps you may remember Grae from the early era of talk shows such as Jerry Springer, Maury and Sally. Just to scratch the surface. Over a period of time even I tired of the shows efforts to exploit cross dressers such as me.

Every once in a while though, I would see an impossibly beautiful cross dresser or female impersonator who I wanted in the worst way to look like. Grae Phillips, billed as the real live "Tootsie" (after the movie) was one of the best. Grae could sing as well as any cis woman and totally looked the part.

So naturally I was impressed when I found this photo on social media of Grae dressed as a popcorn girl several years ago in New York City. My knowledge of Grae plus classic drag or cross dressing stores such as "Lee Brewster's"  were a large part of the reason I moved from my native Ohio to the NYC metro area. Sadly, I never did have the opportunity to visit Lee's but I did take advantage of the opportunity to go a transvestite "mixer" one night on nearby Long Island. 

It turned out to be one fantastic evening as I almost didn't get admitted to the mixer at all. There were two women at the door standing guard so to speak and told me no "real" women could be admitted to this private event. I had to show them my then male drivers license to get in. Needless to say I was extremely flattered.

I also never had the chance to see one of Grae Phillips shows in person when I lived in New York. The closest I ever came was when they accepted my friend request on social media. I guess you can say I am a groupie but then again I couldn't understand how someone who looked that good as a woman  could ever not want to live fulltime. I was still in the period of my life when I was obsessed with appearing as a woman. Not living as one. 

In many ways life was simpler back then before I began to learn the many hidden facets of a woman's life. Much more difficult than just looking like the cigarette or popcorn girl.  

It's a Man's World?

One of the first things I learned was when I entered the feminine world was how I lost almost all of my relevance when talking to men. I remember vividly jumping head long into a conversation one night with three men and getting totally patronized. I thought "Oh! Is this the way it is going to be?" Well, it was...and worse. Soon I learned I had lost most of my intelligence too.

After I had transgender transitioned into the world for awhile, I learned the truth. The idea men run the world is a myth, except for Washington. And, how is that working for us? As I absorbed what I needed to live as a woman, I learned the feminine rules I would need to survive in the real world. In other words what women did to talk around men or how they would bide their time until they got their way. The two "P's" of my new life became all too real. Passive aggressiveness and patience. Both were needed to get by in my new life.

So it may indeed be a man's world but women run it.

Sometimes I wonder what a person like Grae Phillips would think? Did he ever become so engrossed with being a female impersonator that he lost any perspective about being male at all. Or did presenting himself as a guy presenting as a woman provide him with the publicity to build a career? Since he does not read Cyrsti's Condo that I know of, I will never know.

Speaking of Grae, Connie had her own take on Phillips career being an entertainer herself:

" My guess is that his act is no longer relevant. Also, age is not a woman's best friend - especially in the entertainment industry. Shows like "Dragrace" have taken the novelty to an extreme, and this is (to paraphrase) no country for old queens. Not that Grae was ever really a drag queen, but that could be part of the problem of relevance today. Most likely, though, the whole act lost relevance for him. After all, he says that he only did the female impersonation because he was getting nowhere in show biz as a male performer.

As a singer, myself, I can only dream of having a voice in such a high register as Grae's. Still, unless I wanted to do a full-on drag act, there is not much call for a transgender woman singer these days. Of course, I don't see myself as anything other than a trans woman who sings, and I only want to be seen as that, as well. Even if I am, though, it's tough to be convincing when I'm a 68-year-old singing "Making Whoopie." I imagine that it would be the same for a female impersonator, too."

Good point! Thanks.

Remembering

For some unknown reason, my steel trap noggin (which is seriously rusted) came up with a female impersonator from the past. Perhaps you remember too when cross dresser extraordinaire Grae Phillips took the daytime reality show circuit by storm. As I recall, Grae was a struggling singer in New York before he went the "Tootsie" route and started to perform as a woman.

I couldn't find any ideas on if he is still performing today.

If you know, please let me/us know.
 

Freebie and the Bean

Freebie and the Bean was a 1974 "action/comedy" film with Alan Arkin and James Caan. It was on last night on Turner Classic Movies who were doing a "collection" of Arkin's films.

If you have never seen it, the film features the best and worst of whatever you wanted to call the LGBT community during that era. The "worst" was the "hit man" was actually a cross dressing female impersonator played by Christopher Morley. (left)

Back "in the day" there was absolutely no "T" in the LGB and when we were seen in the media, it was normally in a very bad role.

The "best" part was that Morley presented incredibly well in the movie as a woman!

Fortunately today, most of that era seems to be a bad dream-like most of the cars in the movie!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Vintage Looks"

Remember Jim Bailey? Female impersonator extraordinaire!

It's August Again!

WAY back in the day when I happened along the rare picture of a female impersonator, by the name of Kim August. Of course I was entranced by the idea that any guy could look this good as a woman.  Well, she did and began working as a gender impersonator at age 15 from Flint, Michigan. She sang in her own voice which in it's self separated her from just being a drag queen.

Cyrsti's Condo "Pretty Boys Make Pretty Girls"

Drag queen Kayla Fontenelle

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Our feature cover today is the classic transgender female impersonator Coccinelle ( Jacqueline Charlotte Dufresnoy) who underwent SRS in Casablanca circa 1958.

"Fade to Grae?"

Recently, I presented a "Flashback" post and photo on female impersonator Grae Phillips (left) who, according to Cyrsti's Condo visitor:Lynn Davis  who commented: "Grae just sort of vanished."

Indeed Lynn and here is what I think happened. 


From the very beginning, Grae was a drag queen who could sing and perform as a woman, rather than a parody. Good enough to parlay her act into a singer for a real group or band.


 By then, Grae was in a prime spot back then to cash in on the "real life Tootsie" idea as well as the "explosion" of talk shows eager to "expose" any cross dressing issues.


Today, all I can find is a series of sales pitches and old videos of Grae as a woman and a man.


I have also considered Grae was sort of a womanless beauty pageant winner who hit the mainstream and disappeared just as quickly when the beauty and fame began to fade.


If anyone else has any other facts or ideas, please let us know!

 

Cyrsti's Condo "Flash Back"

Grae Phillips was one of the first glamorous transvestite/female impersonators I saw back in the 1980's on talk shows such as Phil Donahue. As I remember it, Grae's story was he couldn't make it as a male singer in New York, happened (??) to discover he could be a very convincing feminine singer-with a very convincing look:

A Cyrsti's Condo Vintage Female Impersonator

The beautiful female mimic/drag queen
Robbie Ross.

Cyrsti's Condo "Vintage Female Impersonators."

Ever consider when and why the name went from "Female Impersonators" to "Drag Queens"?  Check the vintage girls like Baby Martell and you will know why!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

For Friday we are going to run a dual feature cover from the past. Vintage female impersonators Kim Christy and Kim August.

Kim August

Kim Christy

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature Cover for Monday is a bit different-makeup artist Joseph Harwood from the UK.

I have also included a video from his site on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our Thursday cover feature is Chris Kolonko the most booked drag artist in Bavaria.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our Monday feature cover is Gheovanna Sartory Cruz

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover of the day today is a very "80's" looking Grae Phillips.  If you don't recall Grae's story, he was billed as the "original Tootsie." I still remember clearly when he made his first appearance on the Phil Donahue Show.  He couldn't land a job as a guy singer in NYC and just " happened" to throw on a dress and makeup with the help of a girlfriend and was much more successful performing as a woman.
There are tons of Grae's videos on YouTube plus you can follow the link above for a website.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Today we feature drag artist, female impersonator from Thailand Sira Soda, plus a video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen.