Monday, October 31, 2011

New "Horror Scope!"

This will be one of those crazy weeks that’ll stick in your memory for ages, as it’ll be quite an eye opening experience — but in a totally fab way, so don’t freak. However, you’ll have to be willing to slide down a rabbit hole and open your mind to this new point of view, because once you do, you’ll never be the same — but in a totally lovely way.. From "theFrisky"
Wow! I thought that was a couple weeks ago!

Transgender Privilege?

I commented on a post on Matt Kailey's blog and thought I would pass it along here.
"Is trans male “privilege” include an easier acceptance in the male community? I’ve always wondered?
Growing up male and working most of my life in female dominated jobs, I always felt women have a more complex “acceptance” system than men.
I do agree, the physical effects of “T” hormones enable the outward gender transition from female to male easier initially. (Hate using that word, nothing is easy I know). Sure the more completely you assume the “vision” of your chosen gender, the true inner transition is just beginning. I know one person who went down the full journey to change her sex only to become the best looking man in the room.
Let me mention I feel privilege does not have to be totally negative and will always be part of the human gender spectrum.
I am an middle aged transgendered woman who is beginning hormone therapy soon.
Over the years, I have been fortunate to gain an understanding of how to interact in the world more completely in my chosen gender… with females.
For the most part I have wonderful experiences with a whole new group of friends and I consider this “female privilege”. Again, is there a similar assimilation trans guys feel? Could it be described as “male privilege”?
I quickly learned much of what I had heard from genetic women on a stereotypical level was true. I did lose a few IQ points here and there and I certainly lost my rights to much of the “space” I occupied. Men have no respect for my space and reach over me and around me with no problem and I now have to always move for them.
On a larger scale, I did lose a huge part of the respect I had gained as a middle aged fairly successful white male in my American society, I lost the automatic sir I gained with age and replaced it with a feminine one.
Of course the path was exactly what I chose and all so natural I found. Female privilege to me became being treated in a softer and sometimes more open way.
Again I’m curious of how the overall transition in “privilege” works from the female to male side although I know no story is alike!
As far as the “LGBT” community, I believe our privilege is a farce. We are only included when need for more “clout”. I do have interactions with a few lesbians but most view me as a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” Gay guys are as clueless as straight guys and view me as another queen most of the time. So again, will someone, anyone show me a privilege?"

Are You A "Lady"?

Immediately I thought do I think I am? Before I thought about what  it takes to be a lady, I thought I would take a look at the flipside. To do that I went to one of my favorite places to visit for "girl stuff" the Frisky . I read an article called "What It Means To Be A Gentleman?". Here's an excerpt: "Are you really a gentleman who treats women with genuine respect or are you just performing like one? Are you actually making the women you date feel uncomfortable or disrespected, even though you think you’re “gentlemanly duty” has been done (so to speak) because you paid for dinner? Do you actually hold rather sexist attitudes towards women — sexual women, complicated women, real women?"
OK, fair is fair. If you interact with men, are you really a lady who treats men with genuine respect or are you performing as one?
Perhaps the terms themselves are as outmoded and narrow as most of the gender labels we live with today.
In reality I'm sure you have encountered sexist attitudes towards you as a transgendered female or male. One that infuriates me most is the idea that some men have that I am automatically promiscuous.Really?
Regardless of all of that, I believe being described as a "lady" is fine but "old school girl" is more accurate for me. I love being soft and feminine and stylish.
Sure if a door is opened for me or a courtesy extended to me that's all appreciated but not needed. I do however, appreciate and react to it and attempt to return the favor to the man because I feel it's the right thing to do.
I hope that very appreciation gains me the "old school" tag.
 After reading "the Frisky" excerpt, I came to more of a realization of why I feel many females have forgotten how to be women. Life has made them jaded and that's a shame.
Then again the whole deal is just part of "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus".  Transgendered folk are from Earth. We've traveled to those other places and understand the lifestyle!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Have a Holly Jolly Halloween!

Or maybe you already have. Hope you got out out the closet and showed the world your true self!
Christian Greenia as "Elvira"
If the closet is not your home Halloween is the best day of the year when real girls and transgendered girls alike get to get out and "slut it up"!
I always found the night was a great time to try my hand at going to the bigger straight clubs. After all, whats the worst that could happen? Lose a "costume contest"?
Two evenings out of many stick out in my memory other than the couple I passed along.
If I have already passed them along, sorry it's just old age setting in!
The first story comes from a local Halloween trip to two big clubs having big parties.  For some reason that year I settled on some sort of French Mistress outfit. Of course it was short and black from head to toe with dark eyes and red lips. I had a long straight blond wig that I topped off with a black beret. I was comfortable and felt sexy so the night was good!
About half way through the evening, a guy in a mask came up and whispered in my ear "I know who you really are". For once, I was a lost for words. I finally said  "how do you know and who are you?" He simply said "you look like your mother!"  When I found out who he really was, he could have send a lot more! He was one of my friends when I was 12ish and tried my first tentative steps at dressing as a girl around my friends. Obviously he thought I didn't grow out of it! Hopefully he thought I grew in to it!
The second night was an out of town experience. I was training in another city that year during Halloween and of course had to put together a "costume" and go out. That night I chose one straight and one gay club and really slutted it up. You know the story.  Tight short skirt (leather look) and matching top with black hose and high heeled boots.
I went to the straight club first and to my amazement passed several of the partiers, especially the one who molested my behind as I walked through the crowded room. All too soon and it was time for my first trip to a gay club Halloween party.
If you have never been, the costumes are amazing! Creative and sexy, you can see it all if you happen to hit the right party! I remember the "Elvira" who spent the night checking herself in the mirror as well as the guy dressed as an "outhouse"
By the end of the evening I was sad that Halloween comes but once a year. Then again there is Mardi Gras". To this day I haven't partied it up it a fancy mask and dress!

Transgendered and Strong!

Chris Bruce before......

Chris Bruce after.....

Friday, October 28, 2011

More Halloween "Re-Runs"

I won't tell you how many years ago this occurred . Only that I had a decidedly better figure!
It was "back in the day" when a Halloween party was a rare coming out event.
I believe as a transgendered person you can only do one party with the same people before they start to gossip. If you care.
I got an invite to a classic party in an old Victorian mansion in one of the town's historic districts. At the door was an antique coffin with a very real skeleton observing the guests.
My first wife (who figured that some day I was going to take off and be a girl full time) didn't much care I was going to the party with a female co-worker-dressed like a complete tramp. Halloween is a great time for genetic and TG females to strut their stuff. (Who do they think they are kidding?)
Shaved legs, heels, micro mini dress and long blond hair pretty much described my outfit.
When we arrived, I pretty much didn't say much and I found that a lot of the guests didn't really know  I wasn't as I appeared to be. I was in heaven!
Later in the evening, a couple did approach me to tell me how good I looked and didn't know the truth initially and did I want to go with them to another party?
Reluctantly I had to turn them down. My ride was with my co-worker and I thought it would be rude to do that to her.
The couple left and I asked the hosts who they were.
It turns out he was a very new politician who was running for a state representative seat. As the years went by, he went to Washington and became a very powerful congressman.
I've often wondered how deep the attraction was that night and did I destroy my chance for a job in the capital or even a "tell all" book?
Let's see: "Monica and Cyrsti" A Life Under The Desk! lol

New Shows Taking Springer's Place?

All of the sudden I'm seeing more transgendered folks fighting it out legally on the television "judge" shows.
I'm too embarassed to mention all of them I watch when I'm bored or need a distraction when I write.
I'm seeing primarily drag queens fighting over beauty pageant gowns and wigs or clothes.
On occasion though, a divorce court judge ruled on a case where the man was transistioning to female and appeared as a female.
At the least, it is a step up from Springer!

Transgender Mentor?

Along the way through our gender journey some of us have identified as a transvestite, transgender or a transsexual person.
For most of us the trip has been a very lonely one. Many have longed for a friend or a mentor to help along the way. Most of you I communicate with still are looking for a magical transgender mentor.
For the most part, I don't think she exists in the traditional sense.
I was lucky. I did reach out to a few women who did help me. One actually made me up once but then sold me out later. The others were actually more of mental role models whose constant input centered around the true female realities.  In essence I was experiencing the female positives and living none of the negatives.
A true mentor is hard to find. In fact I think more and more genetic women suffer from lack of mentors.  They are female of course but not women.  A topic for another post.
The magical mentor who can transport to your chosen gender is in reality yourself.
Sure a woman can apply your makeup and as you fall in love with your new beautiful face (especially if the woman who applied it is in a relationship with you) the dynamics can change radically.
All of a sudden, you could become competition or you become reality.  All of the talking and planning is  behind both of you and your girl self is in front of her.
In some of our cases (me) I loved what I saw  and pushed my mentor for more and more.  She was a very strong person (deceased) and kept pushing me into her world.  Perhaps you have read one of my older posts "You Make A Terrible Woman". Her entire point was I was looking the part but so what? I had no understanding of what reality was as a woman.
At that point I became my own mentor. I observed and became a student of a feminine life.  Sure, I can never experience the problems of a monthly period or the agony and ecstasy of child birth but I can express my female self on my own terms.
Perhaps you are one of the very few who a genetic female has taken by the hand and guided along the feminine gender path.
Congratulations! For the rest of us, get going girls. Do what genetic women have always done. Deal with life the best you can and make it yours.

Transgender "Gold Standard"

November 4th Thailand once again hosts arguably the finest transgender beauty pageant in the world.

This picture pretty much tells it all!
You can vote this year!  Vote this year for your favorites online at The finals will be broadcast on Channel 9 and in
more than 30 countries around the world.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Transgender Heaven and Hell!

Yet another victory for another very young transgender child. Bascically this is what happened.
In Colorado, the Girl Scouts initially rejected a 7 year old boy's request to join. Then:

The Girl Scouts issued a statement saying a
worker unfamiliar with the group's policies gave the family wrong
The group says requests for support of transgender kids have grown,
and Girl Scouts of Colorado is working to support the children, their
families and the volunteers who serve them.

Of course the young transgendered girl is facing bullying at school and the other problems we face identifying with another gender...Such as this flyer from the Mormon Church.
Note the final sentence.

Then again I can't believe the Mormons allow Halloween at all!

Hopefully, the 7 year transgender child will be able to enjoy and grow in the Girl Scouts.
There is hope for all of us!

Transgendered Halloween 2010

I was looking over some of my posts last year before Halloween. Here is one:
Or is it really you in your Halloween costume?
Well girl, it is almost Halloween. The time of year for transgender and real sisters alike to strut their stuff.
It's our Christmas, New Year and Thanksgiving all rolled up into one glorious weekend. At the least, you can hit more than one party!
It's the party where the women are jealous of your legs, hair and makeup, and by the way, where did you learn to walk in those heels? Who did do your makeup?
It's the party where your guy friends either shy away from you or to you after a few adult beverages. How innocent is it when they run a hand up your nylon covered leg?
That's you isn't it? The witch in the low cut dress. Hanging with Count Dracula your golfing buddy? Will he ever look at you quite the same again after a few beers in the clubhouse?
The fun part is, you have so many ways to attend a Halloween party. You can wear a fun, sexy comfortable female costume or slut it up and go as a hooker. Remember girlfriends, those heels are very unforgiving after awhile and that short skirt becomes very difficult to be ladylike in all evening. Especially if you happen to get buzzed.(Yes, I've tried it)
OR learn from Le Anne's example (she is a follower here) She dazzled a party by attending as a Hollywood starlet. Everyone was amazed by her look and how she presented as a woman.  To LeAnne however she wasn't dressed in a costume. She was just dressed up! I paraphrased much of her comment but she makes an excellent point.
Your big party night can be a coming out bash for the girl in you.
Beware though, once you let her out and the compliments start rolling in-you may never be able to shut her in again.
Finally, be careful of thinking you are one heavenly creature and go to WalMart the next day in the same clothes.No one will be impressed with you in the heels and the mini trying to look like "Lady Gaga"!
Instead, take the compliments and build your confidence. Remember though,  many of them are saying you make a great looking woman...for a guy.
But that's OK! That's when the fun starts.

Everyone Is In Transistion?

According to North America's only transsexual comedian yes everyone is in transisiton. American Alison Grillo is performing in Ottowa, Canada and talked about her transition and act. She said  "A lot of comedy comes out personal pain and struggle. Grillo says human sexuality is a big topic for many people, one that can be difficult for people to understand.

Often humour can be a great way to break down barriers and tension.

“Most of my shows are for straight people. It doesn’t take me long to convince them that I’m just like them in many ways, and that we have a lot in common,” said Grillo.

While she said transgender people are often the butt of jokes in comedy she brings an entirely different perspective.

“I’m not some straight guy observing things. I’m actually living the transition. I can tell it like it is,” she said.

I would really like to see her act if she ever comes in my direction! I added her as a Facebook friend. We will see if she responds!

Transgender Ego?

If you are familiar with "Pink Essence" you know it is arguably the "gold standard" of transgendered social sites. The driving force behind Pink Essence is "Chloe Prince". The transition from "Ted" to Chloe" was documented several years ago by ABC's Primetime.
I am a member of "The Pink" and wonder on occasion how it would be to publicly air such a personal family issue?
What if some media entity stumbled on my little part of the web and contacted me?
As public as the Internet could be it obviously doesn't come close to the intense media glare of a hungry reporter or producer looking for a television story.
So, I don't know. I've always thought that going stealth did no one in our community any good. Then again, going out and screaming I am a transsexual woman wouldn't either.
I know in Chloe's and so many other transgendered women's lives, family has to be factored in.
When "Dad" is featured changing to another female figure in the family on national television, does that make her a "celebrity" of sorts? Does that help the kids whose friends probably knew something anyhow? How about the rest of us?
Did Chloe help me last night when the new bartender at one of my favorite hang outs was falling all over herself to meet the transgender regular?
Indirectly, I'm sure she did and how do I pay that forward? So if the media did come knocking at this transgendered girl's door, it would be immensely satisfying to say yes tell my story if it's done in a positive way.
On the other hand you "stealth" girls are OK too. Who needs the hassle?
Let's not confuse "stealth" with the closet. How many more transgendered girls are taking tentative steps out from their closet's because of the Chloe's of the world.
I'm sure she and the rest of us will never know.
One fact is certain, she was so very brave to do it. I wonder if I could.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


I had a chance to slow down a little and look around at my life this week.
I have a couple weeks until my first doctors visit plus I have yet another therapist visit in approximately a week. Early next week I even have a couple days off in a row to catch up with all my writings and regular life (shopping!)
As much as I would love to tell you I have an exotic, exciting Halloween coming up, it's just not true.
That's OK, my love affair with Halloween I'm afraid has come and gone.
Gay clubs and Halloween parties are nearly impossible to present as a female for me. Sure the compliments I sometimes get are nice but being called an attractive man in a dress just doesn't make it for me anymore.
Now, having said that, I have flat out had great Halloween experiences including my recent date at the Witches Ball!
I also understand the holiday (of sorts) is a wonderful time to (sort of) come out to friends and family. At Christmas you can give a gift at Halloween all can see your gift as a new woman.
Whatever you decide to do, have fun and be safe doing it! I'll be thinking of you!!!!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

‘Sorry, I Gendered You.’ ”

Check this amazing story from "America's Heartland"
"Male, female, transgender, no gender, gay, lesbian, straight. Labels don’t matter at Grinnell College. Students can share a dormitory room, bathroom, shower room or locker room with any of the above, if they choose."
The idea was driven by transgender students, those who don’t identify themselves as either male or female, and students transitioning from one gender to the other. Gender-neutral grew from one percent of the school’s on-campus housing in 2008-09 to 18 percent this fall, and officials discontinued asking students to divulge gender or orientation. The rooms include straight males and females living together, although those who self-identify as transgender are given priority, which includes five this fall."

The most impressive part of the story could be this excerpt:
"More students today don’t identify with the binary. That is a more recent shift,” said Astrid Henry, associate professor of gender, women’s and sexuality studies at Grinnell.Some students don’t want to be referred to in male or female pronouns because they carry societal labels, preferring the pronoun “ze” (for she) or “hir” (for he), Henry said. “Even in class as the chair of gender studies I get told, ‘I don’t want to be called she,’ ze said."
Further more, parents who visit their children on gender-neutral floors now will encounter these signs: “Queer Safe Space” and “Be an ally to gay and lesbians.
!8 year old "Austin Mckinney" ( a ftm transgendered student) said he has found plenty of allies and he feels
 comfortable here. "It’s a welcome breath of fresh air after high school,” he said. “People here even say to you, ‘Sorry, I gendered you.’ ”

Heavy Metal Transgender Chick!

I really like this story! It comes from a site called "Gun Shy Assassin"
I have to tell you I'm not the biggest "metal music" fan although I did lose some hearing to "Black Sabbath" when Ozzie Ozborne was lead singer.
"Gun Shy Assassin" actually picked the story up from The Advocate who interviewed transgendered singer Mina Caputo, who  used to be known as Keith Caputo. The article centered about her new life in a band like Life of Agony.
As I read on, the article began to bring up a few very familiar themes. Mina said: “I was very boxed in that metal thing. The first album I’ve ever done was released and then it pretty much exploded in Europe and I kind of had no choice but to leave school. I didn’t want to sing in a band. That wasn’t really what I set out to do. I wanted to go to Julliard. I wanted to play the classics, get good grades…and I pictured myself living more of a feminine life then at 19 when this whole alpha male world just pretty much took over,” she said.
“I was in hell for years…It was more of a sense of responsibility and not getting labels down… the management, the band, and the fans. And I mean, we were a really, really really, really big band. We were doing concerts in Europe where 60 to 100 thousand people were showing up.”

Sound familar? Sure! Perhaps you like me tried to play the "alpha male" game.
The real impact of "Mina's" story to me is yet another visible person in our society has stepped forward to educate others on a positive level.
From women such as "Stana" at "Femulate" speaking to college students to entertainers such as "Mina" and "Chaz Bono"  telling their stories: the world will be eager to listen and learn!

Another Big Date Set!

I'm sooo excited my first appointment has been set with the doctor who will actually supervise my hormone therapy in approximately two weeks! Yay!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Former TV Host Now Transgengendered Beauty Queen.

From " Tempo"
A finalist of Amazing Philippine Beauties 2011 is creating ripples after it was learned that she was a former male teen star who co-hosted “Master Showman.”
The former singer-actor-host used the screen name Akiro Verano prior to changing it to Zyrene Mae Verano after undergoing a sex change operation in Thailand in 2008. He admits to taking hormonal pills to enhance her femininity even further.
The Philippines I believe sometimes rivals Thailand and the Japanese with an incredible number of beautiful transgendered women!

Transgendered Goddesses!

Transgender Goddesses! Why didn't I thing about this? Read this comment from the "Montreal Gazette"
" I’ve been thinking about the dating scene, about how many men flee when they find out about a trans woman’s medical history. So, I thought maybe we should approach it differently. Rather than ask men to accept us as ordinary females, maybe we should portray ourselves as Transsexual Goddesses, exotic women to be pampered and served and adored. Hey, so much of the dating game is about imagination, anyway, ie. him imagining (and hoping) what sexual delights he might get from her. We shouldn’t make it too easy for them, should we? Nor should we grovel and act like they are doing us a favour by accepting us as women. To heck with that: we Goddesses are doing them a favour by allowing them to serve us, and if they serve well, they will be rewarded accordingly, yes?
Indeed, I am a Goddess . . . Just kidding . . . (Don’t send me nasty emails!!)
And, no, this is not bordering on BDSM or D/s lifestyles . . . not that there’s anything wrong with that, yes?
Smiles . . .
Happy weekend!
Jillian "
All right...maybe I did think of it! lol

Friday, October 21, 2011

Womanless Beauty Pageant Transgender Style!

Miss Pacificana returns to Guam for the first time in nearly 5 years.  Here are a couple of the transgendered contestants!

Here's your link for more! Miss Pacificana 2011 contestants <>

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Mixing Beauty and Transgender Ideals?

From the "Huffington Post"

"Amos Mac and Zackary Drucker Explore One Transwoman's Experience in TRANSLADY FANZINE (PHOTOS) 

With his latest effort, the burgeoning publishing mogul (Mac) shifts a gear that looks to me like a focus from the people to the artist -- the rich, mesmerizing and artistically elevated art publication, TRANSLADY FANZINE. "


As I checked the post this paragraph specifically stood out to me:

 "There's Drucker applying makeup from a Louis Vuitton makeup case, before another photo, a glamour shot of three purring blondes -- is one of them Drucker? Do all blondes look alike? What about the homogeneity of femininity and how Drucker owns and subverts it? I mean, she's a girl and wants to be pretty, right? Don't we all? Are transwomen allowed to just be fucking pretty for a minute, or is she required to be a constant embodiment of a struggle? How exhausting. Radical feminist and queer communities can be terrified and punishing of a transwoman's desire to "pass," though "passing" often just means "looking good," something I -- a feminist and queer -- personally strive for every day and no one gives me any shit about it. What about the longing to be stealth, to simply be your gender without all the politicized hassle, so many marginalized people trying to snag you for their own? Maybe a girl just wants to throw on some eyeshadow and hit the mall, jeez. An essay by Drucker, included in the publication, outlines a female's lifetime of negotiating fashion for self-expression, with somewhat higher stakes. Mac includes text, as well, a thank-you letter of gratitude and solidarity from photographer to model, and the stakes here are higher, as well."


Video Artist Zachary Drucker


Maybe It Does Get Easier?

I agonized all day long before I called the recommended physician who would work with me on administering hormones.
I finally summoned all my courage and made the call.
Of course the first thing that happened was that I was on a lengthy hold. (It seemed like hours!)
A totally frazzled receptionist finally answered my call and I found  all my worry was wasted effort.
I nervously told her I was a male to female transgender person and had been referred to the doctor by my psychologist.
She was great.  She calmly asked me if my interest was in hormones and how far along was I in my transition process. I calmed down and told her all I could.
As she asked about how I was planning to pay and other questions, she mentioned an appointment was in limbo for a short time as the doctor's whole practice was changing.
It turns out the practice is changing from family based care to one totally based on transgender, gay and lesbian health care. In fact the doctor has been so busy he is adding a partner.
Once again I witnessed how different I'm not. The transgendered population is opening the door and exploring life in their chosen gender!
The best part was how she explained how closely the doctors would work with me on the hormone program!
I really need to stop worrying so much and get on with life.

Keeping the Door Open!

On the way down the hall with my psychologist, she spoke briefly of the strides transgendered vets such as I have started to make in good old "conservative" Ohio. Some of the other professionals at the center it seems are starting to "reach out" to other gender experts in the community for advice.
She also mentioned some of the directives within the VA and the military itself concerning gay and transgendered vets as positive changes. Then added she hoped the new thinking would continue. However,
I have mentioned she said no doctor in this clinic would consider dispensing hormones but there could be other altrnatives she was checking into.
When and if any of these alternatives actually materialize, I will pass them along.
In the meantime, I'm happy to be able to help any other transgendered sisters or brothers walk through the same doors I did. By all indications there haven't been many or any before me.
I'm sure all of us know trangendered men and women seem to always be the last to benefit from advances; after the gay and lesbian community.  We have to work harder to make more of our opportunities.
The most important point she made is we all have to keep these doors open to make the most of the future.

Transgender Before And After Picture

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Be Careful What You Hope For!

Or I could title this post "You Can't Always Get What You Want...But If You Try Sometimes You Get What You Need!'
Today I did. I got my recommendation letter from my psychologist to begin female hormone therapy! I tried, I wanted and I got what I needed. Wow! As recently as a couple of years ago the path I'm taking seemed like an impossible dream. Perhaps a dream I didn't want to pursue.
As pieces of paper go this is a very big one in my life. This paper ranks up there with the college diploma and such.
As I leaned over her shoulder to look at the letter on the computer, several of the most beautiful pronouns in the English language jumped out at me. The pronoun of course was she. The sentence went something like this: Cyrsti is in a transitory period and I have been seeing her for the past several months. She is interested in hormone therapy to continue her transition.
Several hours later when my feet touched the ground again I began to think this was just the beginning...again.
From the first time I slid my Mom's hose over my legs and squeezed into her bra to this point in my life was one giant twisting journey.
Doesn't seem possible but I'm doing it again!
I would like to thank all of you who have been following this and on occasion reach out to me with your thoughts! It means a lot!

Power Move...Female Style

Think of what most all women do when they talk to each other or to guys. Think of the power of  body language over words.
Think of a woman crossing her legs. A girl is taught at a young age the proper way to sit in a dress or skirt. You see it all the time when women sit across from each other to talk.
I believe in "mirroring" others in conversation. I've seen other women cross their legs after I did as we talked. As a side thought, I believe my posture is more feminine when I cross my legs.
Truthfully I didn't worry about it when I was wearing jeans or pants of some sort but I do now.
Now lets bring guys into the equation.  I grew up in my adolescent years watching mini skirted girls in my classes trying to sit properly and showing an ample amount of thigh. Surely they knew of the angst they were causing!
Or how about the long legged girl friend I had who used the long high slow leg cross in my car so she didn't ruin her panty hose with a run or two.
I learned well the power of a leg cross then and are just staring to discover it again. Actually all of it is beginning to be rather matter of fact to me...except on occasions such as Saturday night.
My friend and I were sitting on a long bench when another couple sat down next to us. The man actually sat next to me. The space was rather limited and as I adjusted to the new seating space I did the slow high leg cross that captivated me so many years before. Truthfully, it was the only way I could.  Well, it certainly captivated him too as he nearly broke his neck to check my legs as his wife's back was turned to him.
OK, I'm a little slow. I'm a woman in a black mini, 4 in heels and fishnets. Wouldn't I be a little insulted if he didn't look?
The bigger picture is that both genders look for different reasons. 
Just another one of those crazy gender lessons!

Monday, October 17, 2011

Transgender Mixer?

I have passed along several transgendered experiences from my trip to Newport. Interestingly enough, the Witches Ball itself was the "icing on the cake" so to speak.
The whole experience presented a first in a lifetime challenge. Of course I dressed casually for the drive down to Cincinnati. Jeans, flats, sweater and coat completed my outfit. Then I had to pack my decidedly more upscale outfit for the ball. Black mini, leather look thigh highs, see through top, dark curly hair and the 4" heels I'm still paying for physically! Then I had to pack another change of casual clothes for the trip back the next morning.
Lesson learned. I now have another insight to why women are always have more luggage!
The drive down took about an hour and a half with only one stop at a roadside rest for a soda.
The fun part started upon arriving when my friend and I headed to a close by complex of shops and restaurants overlooking the Ohio River and the Cincinnati skyline. We started with a cup of coffee and girl talk and then headed down to a walking bridge over the river. The day was beautiful
We enjoyed the river for awhile and headed for an interesting antique store we passed by. By this time it was time for a bite to eat before it was time to head back to the hotel and change for the ball.
Proving once again what a good friend she is, there was no protest as we found a sports bar who was showing my Ohio State Buckeyes.  Quite possibly my experience there was my best female time ever.  I was able to order for both of us at the bar find us a seat, eat and watch the game with her without so much of a side glance from anyone. Wow!
We ate, had a few drinks and it was time to head back and get dressed for the ball!
I will save that story for another post and tell you if anyone turned into a pumpkin at midnight!

More "Horror Scope"

Yes friends, it's time for another "horror scope" from "theFrisky":
"You’ve never been one to get too pushy and this isn’t the time to start. However, as another tries to get their way with you, don’t deflect in your normal way, by ignoring and proceeding. No, this time, it’ll take a sleight of hand to judo flip the opposition to your will. So, work your words with precision, as they can bring a powerful sorcery to the game being played now."
Have to say, this one is close again!

Transgender Spanish Actress

A quick look at gorgeous "Bibi Andersen"!

The Primal "Call of the Drums"!

We headed upstairs and followed the sounds of the "Doumbek Drums".  We found a seat on a long padded bench in a room that looked similar to an old English castle room.  I was looking for "King Arthur" in the dimly lit room with the dark wood and stained glass.
We cuddled and watched three belly dancers.  Two were particularly good at balancing big swords on their heads as they danced. As impressive as that was, the combination of the drums (a strong distinctive primal beat) and the sensuality of the women on the floor was really getting into this trans girl's heart and mind!
As time started to fade away more dancers just flowed into the room and actually filled the floor. I was blown away!
As luck would have it, my friend actually is in the process of taking belly dancing lessons and has discussed me joining in.  At first I thought the whole idea was rather far fetched but after seeing the women participate in the passion last night, I sure would love to try!
First off, "belly dancing" had very little to do in describing what I saw.
I witnessed a centuries old revival of the sensuality of women.  In some way the women were bonding with each other in dance; feeding off the sensuality of the others. The dance was yet another side of women I had never seen.
Of course the dream of joining the circle of dance in whatever form may be an impossible dream. Then again, most of what I do with my gender transition these days used to be an impossible dream.
I was incredibly fortunate to be at the right at the right place to experience a form of primal sensuality close up and in person...and the evening wasn't even over!

As Promised! Witches Ball Details!

To start with, the "Southgate House" in Newport, Kentucky (across the Ohio River from Cincinnati) was the ideal spot for the Witches Ball ,my Wiccan friend and I.
To start with, Southgate is a four story circa 1814 mansion (haunted).  Over the decades, the venue has been sliced and diced into a somewhat"long in the tooth" " frozen in time" music house.
As you enter the main front doors ( you see to the right) you go down a short hallway into a downstairs bar.  Behind it and down is a  ball room with a balcony 
The second floor has another bar and I presume the ghosts hang out on the third floor if they don't like the music.
OK, I certainly hope I haven't bored you too much! The fun part is coming!
Peeps wise, the Witches Ball basically is divided into age groups with different interests in music and costumes. Pirates and belly dancers are upstairs...the younger whatever crowd in the ballroom. 
My only problem with checking out all of the crowd was negotiating narrow flights of stairs in my 4" heels! But negotiate we did.
Increasingly it was clear the pirates and dancers were more to our tastes.
That my friends is the best part and I'm saving the details for the next post!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Transgender News Bits

Around the world we go!
From the "land down under:" come a story from Australia:
Another inmate is fighting for her right to live as her chosen gender behind bars.
"Krista Richards" (seen as Krista and Leslie to the right) is complaining of discrimination.
Reportedly, Krista has had a couple of "procedures" at the expense of our Australian taxpayers but has not gone through the complete sex change surgery.

The second story comes from England and a well known face "Andrej Pejic".
The news broke Pejic would be meeting Queen Elizabeth October 13th for a dinner party at Buckingham Palace.
This picture is one of the first of Pejic according to:

All Dressed Up and No Where To Go!

Malaika, A Chennai girl will be India's  first contestant in the Thailand, Miss International Queen Pageant 2011.  Born male, Malaika, 28, has been through four major surgeries and a series of medical treatments to transform into the dancer-model pictured on the left..
However, Malaika still does not have a sponsor. She said:
“The contest requires me to wear seven different costumes including a grand evening gown, a traditional dress and a swimsuit. I also have to bear the expenses of the travel and accommodation for the special make-up artist I need for the talent round. Unless I get a sponsor, I cannot participate".
Hopefully she will be successful finding a sponsor and becoming a positive transgendered influence in India.

Playing the Transgender System?

This story from the "San Diego LGBT Weekly" caught my eye for it's delicious touch of irony.
"It seems Transgender Human Rights Campaign board member Megan Stabler (pictured above) has married another woman in Texas by legally declaring her gender as male, a development that could be considered controversial (and perhaps hypocritical) because of Stabler’s national prominence, and because of her position at HRC as the only known trans person sitting on the board.
The lesbian couple could not legally marry in Texas as such. But by declaring male gender-identity, presumably by way of a birth certificate that reflected her gender at birth, their union is recognized by that largely far-right leaning state."
Sure the whole marriage could be seen as hypocritical. Then again, why not turn a system around and use a "loop hole" as a positvie in your life?
My bottom line reaction is judging from Megan's picture, it's the men of Texas who lost out to a woman...again.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Elections and Halloween. A Coincidence?

Coincidence? Not so much in my part of the world at least. I'm sure most of you would agree we have been "tricked"more than "treated" recently by our elected officials.
It is not my purpose to go on some sort of a political rant here. My purpose is to bring a transgender candidate from Florida back to the blog.
It's election time and the "SouthFloridaGayNews.Com  ran an article about "Donna Milo". Milo is a candidate who happens to be transgendered and a conservative republican of sorts. Much has been written concerning her stand on gay marriage and children.
Here in Ohio, I really don't have much concern over a politician in Florida unless someday she becomes the first transgender president. I do however wonder if running for office is the ultimate coming out expereince?
After a transgendered person runs the gauntlet when he or she comes out to family and friends, is running for public office any different?
I suppose my inherent distrust of poiliticians wont change my idea of transgendered candidates being a plus for our culture...but Halloween madness is sooo much more fun!

Bravery versus Resolve.

Every once in a while, I run into someone who thinks I'm brave to live my life the way I do.
Even the therapist made that comment.
They all mean well I know but bravery really is a secondary trait. Resolve is a much better description of my feelings.
It is the time in my life to live the way I feel is best for me and I have the resolve to do it.
Yesterday at work I saw a person who makes my resolve pale in comparison.
She is a very very big person with many male characteristics.  One of our female employee's called her sir a week or so ago (I wasn't there) and she corrected her.
I was impressed she came back at all. She looked very ill at ease and I couldn't get anywhere close to her to do or say anything but will be on the outlook for her in the future.
I am fortunate to be able to present female with a mostly good success rate. My resolve is strong but hers is tremendous!
I really need to chat with her and hopefully I will see her again soon!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Before and After!

Transgender Bathroom Rumors

From the "The Huffington Post" comes a post on a subject near and not so dear to me...restroom priviledges. As any accomplished transgender person knows , the whole affair of simply going to the bathroom can turn into a major event.
This perspective comes from a trans man:

"Believe it or not, I am a guy who likes to leave my house from time to time. Occasionally I'll be out, you know, people-watching in the local park, shopping downtown, or cruising around and making frequent stops at the tiny indie cafe in my gentrifying Brooklyn neighborhood, inhaling pints of coffee on the hour. Sometimes I'll even drink water. Eventually the time comes when my bladder has successfully been filled and I'll have to, you know, empty it. I'll find the nearest public restroom and use it. As long as there's a stall with a door, of course.
As a "transitioned" transsexual man, it's easy for me. Again, as long as there is a stall involved. I can't stress that enough. This man needs a stall. Because he sits to pee. Because he still has a vagina.
Now, as an adult, using public men's rooms has gone from a newfound glory to an inspiration for feelings of constant paranoia. It doesn't matter where I am -- it could be at the SoHo Bloomingdale's bathroom or at a truck stop in middle America -- there is still that sense of dread. I'm comfortable with the "plumbing" I was born with and don't want to change it, and I choose to not use a "stand-to-pee" contraption, but the flip side to that is I can't use a urinal and have to use a stall. Many times there is just one lone stall and the door has been ripped off, or it's out of order. Sometimes I have to visit three fast-food places just to find a bathroom with a working stall. Even then, when I'm halfway there, comfortable in the stall and ready to let the urine fly, I am convinced that the sound of the stream hitting the toilet bowl water sounds drastically different from the sound of pee exiting a penis and hitting the toilet water, and that the bathroom police await my exit so that they can tell me I'm in the wrong place and to tell me that they know my body is different from theirs, that they know my past and what's in my pants. And that it actually matters."

I've written several times of the trials of using the women's room and yes I've been told not too by one manager and even had the cops called on me once...for just going to the bathroom.
I know the situation is not going away. In fact the restroom is the only paranoia I'm feeling about my upcoming exciting "Witches Ball" evening.
I really feel out of place in the men's room (obviously) and just don't want to compromise my ideals.
I too worry about the sound of my pee hitting the bowl. Does the woman in the next stall over notice?
So I won't compromise my ideals and look like a total fool using the wrong restroom...the man's.
The feeling of relief I have each time I'm able to use the proper restroom is two fold. The first is obvious. I had to go! The second is less obvious. The bathroom police weren't summoned.

Transgender Halloween Photo

Check this picture of Halloween icon "Elvira".
Except it is not's David Shawn Micheals!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Hey Dude! Nice Costume! (From Last November)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Halloween Party?

Due to work obligations, I knew my Halloween this year was not going to happen.
I didn't give the matter much thought as I entered my usual hang out last Friday night-and walked right into their Halloween party.
I almost panicked!  A Halloween party is one of the hardest places to present as an actual female. People are obviously looking for all others in costume. "Ha Ha dude, want a beer? Nice costume" is exactly what I heard one place last year when I went to one of the biggest Halloween street fairs in the state. Unfortunately I was just dressed as costume.
This year again I  was just in jeans and a sweater as I quickly surveyed the scene and got ready for reaction.. I saw about half the group was actually in costume.
I was sure someone would spot me as a possible costume contestant but  I was able to find a seat at the bar with no trouble. I got no reaction.
Soon, after my first beer, it was time to survey the crowd to see if anyone else was dressed as a girl. Interestingly enough, the only remote possibility was a person across the bar wearing some big blond hair. "He" turned out of be one of the female managers in costume and probably wouldn't appreciate my thoughts on her costume. She made a great "drag queen"!
I guess you could say my Halloween was real boring this year for all the right reasons!

A Transgender Girl's Favorite Holiday?

In my own part of the world, Halloween is the second biggest holiday behind Christmas.  It is absolutely HUGE!
I was searching through some of my older posts for Halloween stories.
Of course the season is a prime time to sneak out of the closet or even out yourself in the process. If you recall one of my earlier posts, I mildly outed myself after one memorable Halloween party in the Army of all places. In those days "transgender" wasn't even a word and I admitted to a fondness for women's clothes to several close friends.
For you girls who I will refer to as "accomplished closet dwellers"; when you do head out, someone will notice how accomplished you are! By the way, I meant nothing at all negative about the comment. I understand the closet well!!!!
What I meant was you have achieved an attractive female personna that no one else has seen. If you decide to attend a party with friends and or acquaintances, they will notice you girl! The solution of course, is to go to a party or a club where no one knows you.
Of course, I've done it both ways. I timed a couple
"business" trips to be out of town and out at a couple big Halloween parties at straight clubs. Quite a rush!
On the other hand I took the compliments and the questions in stride when I attended parties with people I knew. A typical question was "don't your legs itch since you shaved them... but you really have great legs!"
As we approach the big day, I will "dig out" any old posts I can find and just have some fun with the subject!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

When Will We Be Able To Call Her Transgendered?

"Male" model Andrej Pejic with her latest fashion coup!
Here's the story:
"The new issue of German magazine Schon! features a gorgeous, blonde
femme fatale, with smoky kohl-lined eyes, long fair hair and ruby red
nails... she’s gorgeous... except she is actually a he!"

Costume Idea?

No "Silly Peeps" she is not a pirate wench!!!!!!!

Visiting the Witches Caldron as a Transgender Girl

Before I know it, the "bewtiching" hour will be upon me. A week from now a friend and I will be attending a "Witch's Ball".
As I sit here multi tasking (yes I can) I'm gently picking out one of my favorite wigs I washed today and writing a blog post. Tommorow I'm attacking the costume shops in the area for the perfect look for the evening.
You notice I didn't say costume. This is not a Halloween costume party per se'. I went to the web site and saw participants dressed as witches (duh), pirates and even belly dancers.
In reality my costume choices are limited. The belly dancer idea is intriquing but not really a look I could come up with very easily; leaving the witch or pirate girl idea.
A sexy witch is a posiblity but do I really want to try it in a room full of people who take the practice seriously?
Will I get turned into a black cat? (Just kidding!)
By process of elimination, aaaargh matey! Your pirate wench has arrived! probably will be the way to go.
The fun part of shopping for the outfit will be the accessories! Some sort of short skirt and fishnets will go a long way in showing some leg and a blousy top with a corset style vest may be the safe way out.
The night however will not be an evening to be safe with my outfit! So I will be on the prowl for something exotic to put this pirate wench on display.
Another interesting possibility of the evening is that I could very well be one of the few or only transgender girls there.
I would love to be never recognized as anything but a sexy pirate wench!!! Fun is fun however and what ever happens my friend and I should have a blast!
Maybe I will be able to sail on the pirate ship on Halloween?

Friday, October 7, 2011

No Autographs Please!

My bestest friend told me I could be just dealing in paranoia. (Me???)
The walk from the waiting room to my psychologist's office at the VA Center is quite long.
My first two visits, the halls had been roughly empty.
This time people seemed to be coming out of the woodwork. The people all seemed to be professionals who worked there.
As we made our way into her office, I almost asked my therapist if everyone just happened to know my appointment time and knew the exact moment we were going to walk down that hall to her office.
I didn't because I had more important things to think about and certainly it wasn't the first or last time I have been the center of attention and curiosity.
If indeed the whole incident was a creation of my own be it.
On the other hand, if the staff stopped their day to look at me; it shows how little the particular VA Center I go to knows about transgendered vets.
If that is really the case, I feel good to be the pioneer woman who opens the doors for others.
But REALLY, try not to stare. Come on!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Transitioning Without Hormones?

As I write this post, I wonder how many different directions it can go.
You know I don't often jump into the cat fight between the transsexual and transgendered camps.  I don't have time for the bitterness.
Speaking of bitterness I surfed across a blog that one of you may have seen. Of course I can't seem to back track to where I saw or read it.  The main point of the transgendered woman's post was disagreeing with a "gold star" transsexual view of basically the rest of us poor transgendered "wanna be" women.
The definition of a "gold star" transsexual is a person who assumes the female gender and is absolutely gorgeous. (basically)
Since I fall into the category of the poor downtrodden transgender "wanna be", I started to think of how I really felt about the situation.
I know no matter how long I try and how many hormones I take I will never achieve the "gold star" status. I feel so very fortunate to be able just to interact in the world as a female as much as I do.
Also, when I read or hear a "gold star" put herself up on a lofty pedestal, I always believe somewhere in their male past they always wanted to be really good at something. That something just happened to be a beautiful looking female.  Maybe they are just are the best looking guy in the room. (I've told you in the past I knew someone like that.)
That is just me playing in both sides mud hole and I'm moving on. Life is too short for their petty arguments.
The discussion does raise other personal questions however.
As I have posted in the past, I really wonder where my "internal transition" fits with either group. In response I asked my therapist what she thought. What did she think about my recent subconscious feminine reactions to movies, music. language etc. Obviously without hormones.
My psychologist brought up the "gender cube". Basically, the cube lists nearly 30 different sexual/gender combinations from "straight hetero male" to whatever. When I bypassed the transgendered categories altogether and identified with a masculine feminine female; she simply said I had been burying my true self. My inside self just had never had the need to transition. Just being open to who I really am (I realized) was transitioning without hormones.
By now, you are wondering what point am I trying to make.
Since I am not planning on any radical surgery, will the "gold stars" ever accept me as much of a woman as they are? (Even though I am feeling more and more as one?)
How many of them are still really just guys who became enamored with the pretty girl in the mirror and simply went for more?
Better yet...who cares? I guess sometimes I do!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

It Wasn't A Dream When I Woke Up!

Today had to be my best birthday ever!
My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon.
As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months.
She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot!
My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio.
As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees.  As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all.  The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department.
On to the therapist appointment.  We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hestitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk
The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.)
She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago.
I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm causiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit.
My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati.
Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day.
On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Transgender Clock Ticking Again

I think I mention this before every return trip to the therapist. "I can't believe two weeks of my life has sped by" and I'm a day away from appointment three.
Obviously my "horrorscope"was completely right about my life moving at the speed of light.
The good thing is for the most part, I'm enjoying the ride!
My upcoming "day with the shrink" is going to interesting and fun for several reasons. I'm starting the day with breakfast with my daughter.  I will be dressed in guy drag but undoubtably the subject of hormones will come up.  My appointment is later in the afternoon. Plenty of time to to get dressed for the occassion. I try to pick out a casual feminine outfit.  My goal is to project a quiet confidence in who I am.
Following the appoitment I'm meeting up with my best gf for coffee and a discussion of our night at the "Witches Ball" we are going to in a couple of weeks. How much fun will that be!!!!!
The way "time flies" I'm sure I will be sharing details of that evening before we know it!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Transgender Backlash?

As "Chaz Bono" whirls and twirls on "Dancing With the Stars". As ABC "Primetime" runs a hour show on transgender adults and kids. As the New York City Fire Department becomes home to it's first transgendered fire fighter; is it a real surprise segments of society in any country are expressing misdirected views and even hate at the trans community.

Beautiful transgendered actresses such as "Candis Cayne" (above) and "Jamie Clayton" (left) are appearing increasingly on mainstream television.
Seemingly we are in an increasingly positive transgender era.
More and more of us are out, proud and successful.
Unfortunately times like these motivate others to become increasingly vocal.  The others are trying to push us back in the shadows and closets.
Fortunately, the closet door has opened and together we can keep it there!

Another "Horror Scope"!!

Libra (September 23- October 22)
"The world will be spinning faster than you’ll know how to handle, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to sit back and just let it all take control. No, this is the time when you have to be the one to bite the bullet and start steering this energy into new directions; you can’t fight fate, but you can play with it properly when need be.
This one gets a big capital OMG!"
It hits what's going on in my life totally!!!!!
As always the "scope" comes from "The Frisky".

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Transgender Mother in Law

The signs of an aging population in our country has reached our transgendered culture.
In an article I found from a site called "10,000 Couples", a woman tells the story of her transgendered mother in law her husband was so reluctant to talk about or even know.
Here is part of the story:
"I wanted to be sure in the early days of our courtship that we were aligned on the values and principles of life, and accordingly, I put him to a few tests. Among the first was the acceptance test. Tolerance was a deciding factor, so being from San Francisco and thrilled by the opportunity, I took him to a transgender bar. Asia SF was well reputed for gorgeous transgender starlets and amazing food.  Not realizing, of course, that I was exposing him to the world I found so normal and fun, he had a heck of a time wrapping his head around the idea that the headliner, “Jasmine,” was a transgender, as she cooed to him to the tune of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” in her provocative and skimpy wedding dress and promised abundant and firm cleavage that, quite honestly, gave me a run for my money.  Later that evening, while we talked of the fun we had had, he blurted out, “My father is transgender.”  I remember smacking him in the arm hard, telling him that it wasn’t funny to make a joke, and then I watched all the color drain from his face, and he cast his eyes downward in what I perceived at the time as shame.  Barely audibly, he whispered, “No joke.”
When we began to plan our wedding, I wrote a personal letter to his “dad,” expounding on my personality, tolerance, and absolute acceptance, and I made clear that “he” was welcome in our lives at any time. I didn’t share this with my husband-to-be, writing the letter instead in confidence and quiet, as we never spoke much of “Dad.”  A few days later, we got a phone call from “Dad,” who told my future husband about the letter and the relief "he" had felt upon receiving it.
Ann made her transformation in the years before modern medicine recognized the possibility. Funded entirely by Stanford Hospital in the late 1970s and cared for in the children’s wing to assure privacy and avoid media sensationalism, this remarkable man, after a life of inauthenticity, joining the Navy as a man, marrying his high school sweetheart, seeding three children, and ultimately discovering he could no longer live this lie, saw fit to allow science to use him to pioneer the way for medical alterations that are all but customary on many fronts today, almost 40 years later.
Thirty-plus years later, Ann is now 72, and although many deal with the needs of aging parents, our aging parent in need is much different than the norm. Being a “lab rat” for modern medicine to pave the way for the future left in its wake medical obstacles and an entirely new understanding of the human condition in aging."

This story sheds a huge amount of light into some of the transgendered or transsexual "pioneers" in our culture and the absolute resolve to follow their path into another gender. Not to mention the wonderful courage and caring soul of the woman who wrote it.
More to come...follow the link to experience it!

Damn Mirror

As I arrived home from a very long and difficult day to a slightly chilly house; I took off my male drag clothes and slipped on an comfy oversized sweater.
On a trip through the bathroom I happened to take a quick glance in the mirror.
Normally at this point in time I see a guy with a slight beard and tasseled hair.
Not tonight. 
For some reason I suddenly saw a softer feminine version of me. The moment was so surprising I went back to the mirror for a second opinion and there she was......

Writer's Cramp PMS?

Every so often I just can't come up with anything "profound"
I know what some of you are thinking...hell, she never comes up with anything profound. Ha Ha.
My week was profoundly good this week due to some great interaction with several friends I have. You are all sooo wonderful! You see you have to use the word profound in it's context!
As I sit here wondering if this post will go any further than the last three I started and stopped; what am I missing? Where can I go?
Well....there are several coulds.
Could it be the candid honesty of a 7 year old at a friends house when he first saw me. He calmly said "boy?" and I calmly said "sometimes". His lesbian grandma tried to silence him somewhat and I said he was only being honest and the whole process was just educational.
Could it be the all encompassing process of spending an entire day with a friend and discovering yet another layer of femininity. I didn't have time to worry about the world viewing me as female.  I only had to view the world as one.
Could it be my gender forces within having yet another brief battle with the tire guy as a guy or the intense sympathy I felt as a girl as I tried to softly console her.
So I guess life is always tossing "writer's cramp" at all of us.  We just can't see the forest for the trees.
Some trees just grow faster than others and are difficult to write about!
Let's see...where  did I put that Midol?

Transgender and the "Chaz"

By choice I really haven't written much about "Chaz Bono's" appearance on "Dancing With the Stars."
After all, what could I really add to the story about "Cher's" former daughter who crossed the transgender fence and became her son.
I do however, follow a "Chaz" story or two and occasionally find something of interest on occasion.
One was an affirmation of Bono's recent television appearances. (Which I do find to be a positive for the transgender community)
The affirmation came from a transgendered female to male attorney by the name of  Dhillon Khosla .
I wondered who "Dhillon" was anyway and who cared?
It turns out he wrote a book about his transgendered journey to manhood called One Man’s Journey Through Womanhood
I haven't read the book but decided to pass along the before and after pix of Dhillon.
I've mentioned several times how fascinated I am with our transgendered brothers. Perhaps the before and after pix here explain why.
For the life of me I can't understand why Dhillon would give up that wonderful hair!
No just kidding.  (Maybe)
Deep down inside I do understand why he made the change. I just have a hard time accepting him giving up the female existence that I desire so much!
The end result is I'm so happy he could do it!