"Trans-Dar" Activated

 

Image from Nikki Smith

Yesterday I happened upon two television shows with  LGBTQ friendly hosts. 

During both shows, I was actually late in tuning in and missed the very beginning of the segments. During the first show, my "Trans-dar" didn't really go off at all until the questions started. Of course, once I realized the woman was transgender I began to pay closer attention to what was going on. It turned out the trans woman's sister invited her to be in her wedding. I immediately thought what was the problem? It turns out the trans woman was forced to walk down the aisle by herself because no one in the best man's party would commit to even holding her hand for the walk. Of course, I felt her situation deeply having experienced something similar to that myself.

Years ago, when I began to become close to a small group of people in a venue I became a regular in, I was invited to join in a bachelorette party. To make a long story short, my invitation was revoked for a reason I was never told. Life went on and I was disappointed but I got over it. Maybe one of more of the other invitees objected to me being invited at all. I moved on forever wondering what went wrong.  Joining in with a bachelorette women's party at the time would have done wonders for my overall confidence with my presentation as well as my confidence in my new life.

Since I rarely see any shows on television which cover transgender  women or men at all, I was surprised on the same day, to see yet another program featuring another trans person. This time my "Trans-dar" did go off and I was able to research who I was watching and came up with "Nikki Smith". During the interview, she was able to provide feedback (in a short period of time) on the issues we face as transgender women. Especially in Utah where she grew up and the problem of finding her way in a field such as rock climbing. Both her and the interviewer did an incredible job of providing an insight on our lives.

Even still, both shows plus what I heard on one of the cable news networks I am a fan of, left me deeply troubled on the future of LGBTQ people in an overall sense and trans people in particular will have to face in the future. Texas (of course) was featured in a show I was watching when they pointed out how far right wing companies such as "Patriot Mobile" in Texas are funneling thousands of dollars into winning local school board races. Which in turn force schools into anti-gender and racial systems  of education and book banning. Closer to home, the school board where I live just painted out a diversity mural the middle school students had painted. Amid many protests the board ignored.

Hopefully the whole process back fires on the gender and racial bigots and the younger generation continues on their path to providing a more equitable future for all. 

Meeting the Enemy?

Today we sat up in a local park's farmer's market to try and sell fresh baked goods and other articles in an attempt to raise money for our Witches Ball Halloween Party coming up in October.

We didn't do too bad considering the day was overcast with occasional showers.

As we were beginning to close up for the day, two squeaky clean young white girls who were showing just a little too much attention to what we were doing stopped by...without offering to buy anything of course.

Finally it came out when they offered to exchange cards and yes they were Mormons. They didn't pay me much attention and I was getting too mad at the rude woman nearby smoking a cigarette. Which I can't stand.

At any rate, I turned my attention back to the Mormon girls who by this time were singing the praises of going to Utah. Quickly I realized I didn't really know much about how the Mormon faith approaches being transgender. I always assumed Mormons didn't accept us. So when I got home, naturally I Googled it.

Here is a small look at what I found from the "Human Rights Campaign" , as well as a few other issues which might relate:

"The LDS Church follows strict rules of sexual conduct, including commandments against pre-marital sex. The Church distinguishes between same-sex attraction and behavior. As stated on its website, "The experience of same-sex attraction is a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but acting on it is." The LDS Church previously taught that same-sex attraction is a curable condition, but now states that "individuals do not choose to have such attractions" and that therapy focusing on "a change in sexual orientation" is "unethical."

Those who do not act on their sexual identity, “enjoy full fellowship in the church, which includes holding the priesthood, carrying out callings, and attending the temple.” The Church considers Mormons who act on feelings of same-sex attraction to have disobeyed church teachings on morality and thus are subject to ecclesiastical discipline. They may be (1) placed on probation (for those desiring to change their behavior), (2) "disfellowshipped" (excluded from participating in the sacraments for a finite period of time while they correct their behavior), or (3) excommunicated.  Members who face a disciplinary council and refuse to repent—or insist that their feelings are integral to who they are—almost always are excommunicated. They lose their membership and cannot participate in any way other than attend meetings. They also lose the eternal ties that bind them to their families and their church.

The LDS Church has no official policy regarding transgender individuals."

Now I wonder since I acted on my gender issues and transitioned does it make it wrong in the eyes of the Mormon's?  Or, more precisely should I care? 

The easy answer is I don't really care and maybe I was wrong. The Mormon girls were just doing their thing and really didn't consider me an "enemy." Or better yet, I enjoyed passing privilege  and they never even knew.