Booth Girl

Wrapped around a visit to my daughter's picnic/party this weekend, is a nearby village wide yard sale our group is setting up at . We are using it to raise funds for this year's annual Cincinnati Witches Ball. The big Halloween Party we host every October. This summer we are selling home-made canned and baked goods.

Any sort of affair my daughter puts on is very inclusive all the way to having another transgender person there. One of my ex wife's in laws is a trans man. I don't anticipate anything other than a good time.

The village where we are having the garage sale is much different. Very small and very redneck are the best descriptors I can come up with.  We are only supposed to be there about four hours on Saturday and Sunday, so I figure I can provide a helping hand without being too conspicuous. 

One way or another, it should be interesting.

Top 20 LGBTQ

"Out Magazine" has published an article I thought you may be interested in...the 20 LGBTQ+ People Who Changed the World. Quite a few of them perhaps you have heard of, others not so much.

Each one though, shares a top spot and a thank you for helping our lives along to be just a little bit better. They also provide banners of inspiration to help us along in the difficult years to come. 

It's not a surprise, but the "uber" talented "Laverne Cox"leads the list.

Laverne Cox

Follow the link above for more!

Still Serving

As you all probably know, I am a transgender veteran and am one hundred percent against "commander coward's" (Rump's) ban on transgender troops.

Laila Ireland

Through my seemingly endless travels for blog information, I happened upon this CNN Politics report called "What it's like to be transgender in the military as new recruits are banned." For the most part, the article revolves around the relationship of the "Ireland's" a trans couple. Logan is a combat medic based out of Fort Carson, Colorado who has served missions in Afghanistan,

Logan Ireland

His wife, Laila, transitioned while in the Army and now works at the Army Hospital in Colorado Springs. Logan had the support to transition from his command, Laila didn't,

Here you go, a human look at the problems caused on the front lines by a fat spineless jerk who has never served.

For the record I think,  at one point in time you could grandfather yourself in as transgender in the military. Now though, since the deadline has passed you need to either leave the service or go back in the closet.

Sad.

Have you Watched Pose?

To be truthful with you, I haven't. But, after reading this post from "Film Daily", I found out why I should:

"Pose is stacked with milestones. The FX drama features the largest transgender cast in TV history and boasts the first transgender woman of color to direct an episode of television, thanks to the talents of best-selling writer Janet Mock.

Those are some outstanding foundations to rest a show of this power upon, but dig deeper and Pose is harboring even more firsts. You can even bingewatch S1 now on Netflix if you want a rewatch or need to get your fix.

Pose is one of the first shows in a long time that we’ve so passionately gone crazy for. Within the eight episodes of the near-flawless first season, it’s proven itself luminous, devastating, life-affirming, horrifying, majestic, profound, and nothing short of mesmerizing.

The writing on Pose is masterful, bounding between heavy sociopolitical and LGBTQI issues against a period backdrop of the 80s, while capably serving up an entertaining narrative – not an easy feat at all"

For more of the post, follow the link above!

Memorial Day

Seemingly every year I echo the same message...Memorial Day is so much more than just a three day holiday.


Memorial Day is just the way it sounds... a day to honor our servicemen and women, past and present.

These days, it is especially important to remember the transgender troops who are being discriminated against. by the Washington led administration (coward in chief).

It is also important to remember all the troops who silently paid the ultimate sacrifice without ever having the chance to live life as their authentic selves.

Please take a moment to remember and thanks to all of you who have served or are serving.

Every Door Should Have One!

Breakfast Fun

Breakfast with the Grand-kids and my daughter as well as her extended in law family went very well as did our dinner last night. Eleven of us were there.

As I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo many times, I am very fortunate to have a family who accepts me for whom I am.  To them, I am not transgender, I am just me. So breakfast was very entertaining after I was able to drink enough coffee to wake up. When I did wake up, I finally noticed my sleeveless top was actually gray with a green pattern, not black. Ironically, it matched my purse perfectly.

Last night, we ended up eating with just two other people. One, a very accomplished full time cross dresser. I say it because that is the way she describes herself. Interestingly, she even works as a volunteer (as a woman) for the Cincinnati Reds baseball women's auxiliary. The other cross dresser who I have written about extensively here showed up as his guy self.  Actually, he is a better person as a guy. Less obnoxious.

To make a long story short, both last night and today turned out to be very interesting and entertaining

Busy Weekend

The Memorial Day Weekend is turning out to be busier than I expected. First of all, since I am a transgender veteran, I am very cognizant of the fact the weekend is much more than a three day holiday. I will have more on that in my Cyrsti's Condo Memorial day post.

In the meantime, Liz and I are joining friends tonight at the usual Italian restaurant we go to on a regular basis. Then, Sunday morning, we are joining my daughter's family for breakfast. It turns out my oldest Grandson is heading out to North Dakota to be a Boy Scout lifeguard for the summer.  So it will be the last time we will see him for awhile.

He seems to break the mold of the usual teen aged boy who only wants to set around and play games.

The weather has all of the sudden caught up to the fact it is almost June and we are experiencing temperatures near 90 degrees (F). The weather will give me an excuse to wear my other sleeveless tank top. The ombre' top I wore to graduation can't be worn again in front of the same people, so I may wear it tonight with a pair of leggings. For a whole different group of people.  Then I could wear the other top Sunday, which is a gray color with an geometric black pattern.

Monday we are saving to cookout here at the home front...just ourselves. 

Mirror, Mirror

Just something to think about! I found this and decided to share it with all of you here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Graduation

Graduation evening this week went very well.

The family started out with a BBQ tailgate in her honor in the parking lot outside Wright State's arena. Wright State is a medium sized state university in the suburban Dayton, Ohio area which has a pretty good sized arena. Much too big I thought for one high school's graduation. I was wrong though, because surprisingly, it was almost filled to capacity.

As I sat down to my BBQ, I felt overdressed in my long skirt and sleeveless "Ombre" top  The top on the model to your right approximates the style, not the color.

I didn't have time to think much about it though because about the time we sat down to eat, a light rain began to fall. We were forced to head on into the arena to get our seats. The good news was we got good seats, the bad news was we had to sit in them for three hours.

To my surprise, my Grand-daughter immediately appeared on the "Jumbo Tron" big screen in the arena and presented a topic with another girl on how the graduates were like all the flavors of ice cream in the world. Of course i wondered to my self how many of the grads were LGBTQ!

All too soon though, the graduation was over and we made our way back out to see the new graduate and head home. There are some pictures floating around and if any of them find their way to Facebook, I will share them with you.

Throughout the evening I didn't notice any stares or glances, so that was good and my Grand-daughter seemed to really appreciate me being there. What really surprised me though was the lack of tears on my part.

For another completely different graduation experience, let's check in with Connie:

"When my grandson graduated a couple years ago, I would have cried, except he was such as goofball about it, going for the big laugh on stage. I do get a bit sentimental when I look at the picture of the two of us afterward, though. It was the first time, after a few years of him getting used to the "new me," that we hugged and he put his arm around me for the pic. It's a reminder that our own transitions are so dependent on the transitions of those close to us."

Well put!

Transgender Veteran!

Avalisa Gallo served four years in the Air Force before leaving the military to complete her MtF gender transition.

Now, she is the first transgender Nebraskan to compete for a national pageant crown. The pageant she is competing in is called the  All-American Goddess. It's the  first pageant system to allow all types of transgender men and women to compete nationally. 

"People don't see me as a woman, that's the issue," said Gallo. "In Omaha, there's not a lot of trans women of color that are out and being visible and that's because its not safe."

She's since been advocating for transgender rights. She reads to children in the community focusing on the book, 'I am Jazz,' a story about a transgender girl. She also has a video blog where she opens up about her journey.

Good luck Avalisa!

In Between Post

As I wrote about previously here in Cyrsti's Condo, I am right in the middle of a very busy week. Yesterday, I had a therapist appointment, one Doctor's appointment and a support group meeting.

All went well and I even was able to negotiate the eighty mile return rush hour trip through two cities which included being stopped for at least ten miles in more stop than go traffic.

Other than that, the only perceived problem I had was my hair. I washed it the day before and didn't bother to brush it out enough before I left. Then, I forgot my brush and had no way to get my waves back under control. Needless to say, I survived.

My therapist appointment went as predicted. We always end up talking more about other things than about me. Which, I guess is a good thing. Fortunately, right now, my demons aren't chasing me as much as they did in the past. The Doctor's appointment had as much to do with it as anything. She prescribes the meds I take to control my bi-polar disorder.

The LGBT support group meeting was interesting as always. A very unique small group of people attended. Including a transgender woman formerly from Alabama who served on a submarine. One trans person of color, a retired ally cis man and a couple gender fluid folks. Really different than the cross dresser - transgender support group meetings I attend here in Cincinnati.

The in between part of this post comes with the fact I am attending my Grand-daughters graduation tonight again up in the Dayton, Ohio area. In order to pull this off with only one car, we had to rent one (car) for the trip.

I think I have a pretty nice outfit picked out with my long black embroidered skirt paired with an embroidered boho style sleeveless top and my fancy black flats. Due to a total lack of decision making with the family groups involved, we are all supposed to meet a couple hours early for tailgate eats before the actual graduation.

Due to my excessive HRT hormones, I probably will do my share of crying :).

A Busy Week

This week is turning out to be a busy one.

Today (Monday) has turned out to be a rush day in order for Liz to get into one of her Doctor's early this afternoon. We will no more than turn around from her trip this morning into her office for her evaluation, then we will have to go back in the same area for her appointment. It was a rush job because she has been trying to get into her Doc for two weeks now. They just happened to have an opening this afternoon.

Tuesday is going to be very busy, I have three appointments at the Dayton, Ohio VA Medical Center. Which includes a support group meeting. I haven't been to this group for awhile due to having to drive back in extreme rush hour traffic. At least this time, I have been able to schedule all the appointments the same day. The other two appointments are with my therapist and the Doctor who prescribes my Bi-Polar meds.

While we are on the subject of meds, I finally did get a call from my endocrinologist nurse saying my Potassium level was back tn normal and she asked the strength of estradiol patches I was on. So maybe I am still in the running to have my dosage increased slightly.

Moving on to Wednesday, I have figured out what I am going to wear to my Grand-daughter's high school graduation. Because we still haven't purchased another car yet, I am going to rent on for the eighty mile trip (one way) to meet the rest of my daughter's family. Being the efficient person I am not, I still have to pick up a graduation card and a gift.

Once I get past the graduation, the rest of the week seems to be very mellow. Although, what we are doing Saturday is still undetermined.

My Transgender Reality

First of all, I would like to thank Charlotte for her comment to a Cyrsti's Condo post from last May. The comment was why don't I just kill myself. The quick answer is I tried that once and happily I failed.

My reality these days revolves basically around my family. And, to a lesser extent the public's perception of me  Examples include a forthcoming trip Wednesday to my grand-daughter's graduation.  Then yesterday we went to a new deli we haven't been to before. Not much happened except one of the younger guys couldn't quite seemed to keep his eyes off of me. I can never tell if he was fascinated by me, or managed to figure out I was transgender.

As I have been told a couple times in my life, it isn't all about me. So, I try to keep that in mind too.

It's interesting too, since Liz has lost nearly 120 pounds, her reality has changed also. She has explained to me she still is a heavy over weight person in her mind and it is hard to shake.  I am sure in the dark recesses of my mind, I will always be fearful of presenting as a guy in a dress.

Digging deeper, my latest paranoia revolves around an unanswered phone call I received from my endocrinologist. Now I am worried she is going to want to play around with my estradiol (estrogen)dosage.  My reality is I have grown so used to the changes in my body, I don't want to go back. She, My Doc, has already decreased my "Spriro"  which was prescribed to decrease my testosterone. She cut my dosage due to my potassium being too high.

One way or another, I will follow her advice.

Regardless of Charlotte's advice, I don't want to kill myself.

It's my reality!

New?

As you have all probably noticed, I am trying out new Blogger platforms for the Cyrsti's Condo blog.

As with anything new, it is a learning experience, so even I don't know what to expect. Also, I have been sharing some of my posts to a Word Press format too.

I just felt everything was getting a little stale on the blogging front.

Vampires

I guess I didn't go into the specifics enough when I wrote a couple days ago here in Cyrsti's Condo about my latest trip to the Dayton, Ohio Veteran's Administration Medical Center. Callie wrote in and commented:

"I'm glad all is well Cyrsti. I'm in Dayton as I write this and it appears to be a pretty conservative community. It sounds like you were treated well however. Sorry you had to go for a second pint. I suppose you just can't go to the local pub to get it replaced :)"

I was lucky Callie and only had three vials of blood drawn for my laboratory  tests.  Had I had two pints taken, I may have had to find the nearest pub! :)

As far as Dayton being conservative, the town has come a long way in it's acceptance of the LGBTQ community.  In fact, both Dayton and Toledo, Ohio were recently named as LGBTQ friendly medium sized citiies in the country. 

I hope you were treated well too in Dayton!

Transgender School

On the Road Again

Yesterday was what I call "Blood Day" at the Dayton, Ohio Veterans Administration Medical Center. It was my three month visit to hematology to check the iron levels in my blood. If the iron goes too high, they have to take a pint out. Which is not my favorite time.

Normally, I am mostly upbeat about my treatment from the VA. Yesterday turned out to be the exception though. Of course, most of you know, or have guessed by now I am a transgender veteran.

Before I go to hematology, I have to have blood labs taken, so without fail I did that and stopped at the cafeteria afterwards to eat. I was starving since I had to fast before the labs and I had no breakfast. Plus I had to wait an hour for the results of the blood work to come back. By this time, I was feeling good about myself. I was dressed nice in my red sweater, red patterned paisley leggings and black flats. Even my back felt fairly good after all the walking.

Surprisingly, breakfast was good (or I was just that hungry) and I headed up to hematology. Little did I know, I would soon be reliving a part of my Army days. Hematology told me the lab vampires had taken the wrong samples and I would have to go back and do the whole process again. Fortunately, the line to get my labs taken again was not very long. I repeated the process and headed back to hematology to wait, and wait and wait.

At least the two hours came out with a good ending. My iron was at an acceptable level again. Plus after a little research, we found I have not had to have any blood taken since last November. So, after my next appointment in three months with the Doc, hopefully I will be able to do away with the three month scheduling all together and just come every six months.

So maybe the old Army "hurry up and wait" theory was worth it after all. It's just another two hours of my life I will never get back.

Victory!

Hard fought victories are so hard to come by these days but yet, they keep on coming.

First, a little background on our featured transgender actress Nicole Maines from Cyrsti's Condo reader Leann:

Nicole Maines

"IF one does not know her story, it is an interesting one. She and her twin brother lived in Maine when her school refused to let her use the ladies room. She (her parents) sued and eventually won the right to do so. Her family had to move during the litigation due to harassment. Her case was the first successful case of its type in the USA. One interesting story I heard her father tell was that one night he was having dinner with a group of Generals and Admirals. They started asking about families and Wayne said: "I have a set of IDENTICAL twins, one boy and one girl." Apparently, the big wigs took a moment to think about that one. Rumor has it that there may have been smoke coming off of their heads :).

Please...see:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicole_Mainesor https://bangordailynews.com/2014/12/01/news/bangor/nicole-maines-transgender-student-maine-lawsuit-ends-with-order-telling-school-to-allow-bathroom-access-based-on-gender-identification/"

And , from Indiana: A Dad's campaign forces school to drop policy humiliating transgender son. "Brian Thomas" launched a petition on May 7th when his son's school in Ft. Wayne was refusing to use his new name at graduation.  The petition tallied more than 14,000 signatures and forced the school administration to reverse it policy and not "dead name" Wyatt at graduation. Great!

Wyatt

When I see successes of young transgender women and men such as these, the future becomes brighter!

  

Indya Moore

Indya Moore becomes the first transgender person on the cover of "Elle."

From "Pride" :
An earlier version of this article referred to Indya Moore using she/her pronouns based on the Elle article's note that Moore okayed the use of 'she/her' for their article. After further consideration, the pronouns have been switched to those Moore generally prefers, which are they/them.

Pose star Indya Moore broke barriers this month when they became the first transgender person to be featured on the cover of Elle.

Nicole Maines

Beautiful 21 year old transgender actress of Super Girl fame "Nicole Maines."

Happy Mother's Day

Or should I say, Happy Parent's Day?

For most of transgender people, it is a bittersweet day. A remembrance of un-accepting children. For others it is simply an uneasy adjustment to the new you. And, if you are very fortunate, it is time for you to be remembered as a parent. A role model for children to be themselves...no matter what.

As most of you already know, I list myself as a very fortunate transgender woman. My daughter is very accepting and I have made my peace with my un-accepting Mother.

For the rest of you, I will only say be patient with your loved ones. Hopefully, they will come around eventually.

Every year I hope this post finds more of you in the accepting category. For those of you still in the closet, the problem is trying to figure out ahead of time who will accept you and who won't. Most of the time, it is impossible to predict.

In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy "Parent's Day!"

Ladies

Today (Saturday) was typically martial arts day for Liz and an afternoon of running errands for both of us.

Something must have gone right for me today since the closeted cross dresser was even semi civil to me. The hour class went by in a hurry and I caught up on my busy work on my phone. I am trying to connect a guy working on LGBT history in Dayton, Ohio with Columbus, Ohio trans historian J.M. Ellison to see if they have anything in common. In addition the guy in Dayton was asking if I have anything to add. I really don't think I do because I didn't actually live in Dayton (just close to it) and so really didn't know much about the LGBT scene there.

The grocery store was predictably bland except for one possible other transgender woman I see there often. I was waiting at the bank for Liz to open a savings account and only was able to see her (the trans woman) at a distance.

Seemingly, it took forever for the banking transaction to be completed, so I spent my time reading a Cincinnati Magazine detailing the booming local/world food scene. About the time I was getting very restless, Liz and the bank manager emerged and the manager (also a woman) said "You ladies have a good afternoon."

Her statement was enough to erase any restlessness and propelled me on to the rest of my afternoon.

The day will continue on until tonight when we are invited again to dinner with a couple of our cross dresser acquaintances.It should be interesting, as always!

Man Speak?

If you have never been spoken down to as a woman by a man, you don't know what you are missing. I learned very quickly what I was missing...most of my intelligence. Both binary genders learn quickly how to communicate within themselves but normally aren't very good at dealing with the other gender.

I provided one example in my "Short and Sweet" post and Connie provides us with another:

"So, it's not just blondes, huh? At least you avoided the mansplaining.

I remember an episode of "Father Knows Best," wherein Jim was teaching his wife, Margaret, how to drive. While he thought it important that she have a working knowledge of the mechanics of the car before learning how to drive it, Margaret wanted to just turn the key and go. As I recall, they never got out of the driveway during that first lesson - which ended in a fight, leaving Jim bewildered at Margaret's incompetence and Margaret feeling down because of Jim's mansplaining. Of course, Father rarely knew best on that show, which aired in the 50's, but there are still many men who make the same mistake today.

Most of my working life was spent in the construction field. I knew my business, and I had (still have) a working knowledge of the building process. I learned something new every day, but not because it had been explained to me in a condescending manner. It was all man to man, and we spoke the same language. Since I began transitioning, though, I have found it best to not even let it be known that I am still fluent in manspeak. If I am working on a project around the house, and go to the supplier for parts (and maybe a bit of advice), I will allow for some mansplaining, but I just ask the right questions in order to get the needed information and materials.

Sometimes, the smart thing to do is to appear to be a bit dumb, even if there are other times when all I want to do is to turn the key and get on with it."

My best example still is the tow truck driver who wouldn't listen to my directions to my own house! At that point I was still very new to the feminine experience  and was aggravated for awhile until I learned this was going to be indicative of my new life.   FYI, I was a blond back in those days.

Don't Bother me Dammit

Yesterday, I went with Liz to her two doctors appointments. I was hoping to see again the young transgender woman I met the last time I was there. But, I had no such luck. Time went fast though and soon we were headed to one of the big box lumber stores to try to pick out boards to break for Liz's martial arts classes. It's not as easy or as difficult as it sounds as you have to select boards with just the right grain, or risk injury.

As you all probably know the big box construction stores contain almost as much testosterone as lumber. As I guy, I once restored an old house, so I used to know my way around them as well as the next man and truthfully are not my favorite places to go back to as a trans woman. Although I have rarely had a problem.

But I regress.

One of my fave older p

After Liz picked out her boards, she had to find someone to cut them to length for her, which always is a challenge. Yesterday turned out to be even a bigger challenge.

The guy she found to do it obviously thought we were putting him out as he begrudgingly cut and slammed the boards down.

I watched with humor as Liz killed him with kindness and he finally helped her load the finished product into the cart.

I remembered not so fondly those male days of my life. Hopefully, the guy was able to get back to doing nothing and feeling good about it. 

Correction

In the long history (8 + years) of the Cyrsti's Condo blog, I have been fortunate enough to have tried to seek out the facts I write about successfully. But, I am human too (and spell check isn't), so I have been known to mess several up too.

In the "Old and New Friends" post I inadvertently spelled Monika's name with a "C" not a "K". My apologies.

Monika also noticed the "Mom" comment about her too. Unfortunately, I didn't take the extra effort to mention we are both approximately the same age.

As you may remember, initially I got my feelings a little hurt when she commented negatively about my hair...just like my own Mom would have done. So, the "Mom" comment wasn't really about age at all.

There is a happy ending to all of this... I hope. After I got my hair done and colored Monika did make me a nice bunch of compliments.

That is what I would have desperately wanted to happen with my real Mom. Maybe it was all wishful thinking. I am sorry I put Monika on the spot though. It wasn't fair to her!

Short and Sweet?

This post is going to be decidedly shorter than the usual ramblings I turn out.

We have been having troubles with our internet provider and had to have a service person come to the house to solve the puzzle.

I'm not much of a technological genius, so most of the conversation between him and Liz was gibberish to me. Since Liz works from home and her computer/internet is very important, I just sat and listened.

Along the way, the service person said (in reference to me), she doesn't seem to know much about the system. I replied, I was basically only concerned with having the internet up and running enough to write my blog.

I was happy with being called by the proper pronoun and left it at that.

Break Down

Connie kindly read the lengthy article I spotlighted here in Cyrsti's Condo about the ridiculous transgender military ban. You can see the post here. Here is her (Connie's) take:

"Let me first make it clear that I think this ban is ridiculous, and unconstitutional, as well. Bravo for these women's efforts!

The part of the story that really intrigues me is this part:

"She’s worried about people who are only just realizing they’re transgender. Hendrick came out at 46 years old and hadn’t known of a trans person other than on television before 2014. She said one of her clients realized they were trans after seeing congressional testimony from a trans military member.
“When I realized what was going on with me, I was like ‘I have to transition now, even if it ruins my career. I’ve been alive for 46 years and I have not experienced life as who I truly am. I need to do this,’” Hendrick said.

I realize that my gender identity and dysphoria are mine, and mine alone. I can't expect that every other trans person has had the same experiences. However, it's difficult for me to believe that one goes through life, especially into middle-age, unaware of their own dysphoria - let alone never seeing some sort of similarity between themselves and trans people they have seen on TV. I also understand denial, but you can't deny something unless you've first recognized it.

I can only take her (Hendrick's) statement as her own truth. When I was 46, I was hiding in the closet, having lived with my dysphoria since early childhood. While she made a complete transition (physically, anyway) in just two years, I was still hiding myself in the closet at 48. In fact, it was another ten years before I could decide that I had to live the rest of my life as a woman. 

I certainly don't advocate following my path to transition, but, even had I not been the procrastinator that I am, I don't think I could have made such a drastic change in only two years' time. Although I don't believe in all the "rapid onset" nonsense, this case seems just about as rapid as it could be.

As I said, intriguing."

Thanks! 

Old and New Friends

Liz's spiritual get together Sunday was great for the soul. Plus, I was able to reestablish old friendships and hopefully begin several new ones.

It was actually the second of two meetups we had to go to. The first was our monthly meeting for the Cincinnati Witches Ball which is coming up in October. The best news was we have a new venue since the old one was sold. It will be held in the party room of one of the bigger craft brewers over the Ohio River in Kentucky. It's all very exciting and our theme this year is "Steam Punk."

As I said, it was nice to see several old friends again who live a distance away. Among others, it was good to see Debra,Mickie, David, Ernie, Monica, Don, Casey and others. I also had a chance to meet a couple of other new attendee's Nikki and Katrina. 

After the ritual, we all sat down to eat and chat. It was nice when a couple people asked me about my weekend of experiences at this years' Trans Ohio Symposium. Liz was fueling the fire when she had to describe my drunken attack by a guy at Club Diversity when I was leading the conversation towards being interviewed for a book on transgender history. It was interesting trying to describe how the person doing the interview preferred pronouns were "they, them and their."

All in all, the weather was very nice and the day was outstanding.

The Effects

I fear not many really care about the effects of the senseless transgender military ban instigated by the "liar in chief" in the White House. To spotlight the issue, I found this article from the Annapolis, Maryland Gazette and Selene San Felice 

Alice Ashton and Deidre Hendrick

It concerns two transgender women struggling to fight the ban as it goes into full gear.

The article provides great insight into the timing and struggle around the ban and is worth a good read.

Follow the link above to read it.

A Busy Sunday

Saturday was a typical day, running errands and thinking about our transgender - cross dresser social on Friday night.

Friday night was fairly normal too, with the usual suspects attending. Approximately fourteen mixed in with a transgender guy, and a couple cis women. Ironically, for once, there were almost as many cross dressers as trans women. It didn't really matter, as everyone conducted themselves in a respectful manner.

Saturday, per norm, I accompanied Liz to her martial arts class and ran into one of her co-horts whom I know to a fact is a member of my support group. He must be a part time closeted cross dresser. I don't know what was wrong with him (or me) yesterday. For once I tried to be nice and speak to him but was repulsed by his head to toe inspection of me and a scowl. So much for that idea. However, he was counter balanced by Liz's instructor who said hello with a big smile.

As always, grocery shopping and other errands went on without incident. Maybe the closeted cross dresser was jealous I am living my real life, or he didn't like I was not dressed "up" to his standards.

Today, Liz is hosting a ritual circle for our group. A chance again to see my "adopted" Mom. I doubt today if my hair will pass her inspection since it has been awhile since I have been to my hair dresser. But again, we will see.

Jen Richards

Jen Richards is a transgender activist, writer, actress, and producer. Richards was born in Mississippi and resides in North Carolina. She graduated from Shimer College with a BA in Philosophy, and studied at Oxford University.

Are You a Pioneer...or Just Old?

As I have mentioned before here in Cyrsti's Condo, one of the pleasant surprises coming from this years' Trans Ohio Symposium was the influence of transgender history. And yes, my age made me all of a sudden relevant again. My experiences with many of the younger transgender women and men I had met had led me to feel otherwise. So it was good to feel accepted again.

Surely though, even with the current setbacks from the Liar in Chief in the White House, our present has changed considerably. Check out this comment from Connie which came from my Grand daughter's highly androgynous Prom outfit which basically was a tuxedo with heels:

"Well, there you go! Give yourself some credit for raising an accepting daughter, as well as finally being your true self - which has certainly served to break down some of the barriers that used to stifle gender expression. Although I don't see myself as a pioneer or hero within the trans community, I do take solace in the fact that living completely as the woman I was born to be has led to more acceptance by most of the people with whom I've had contact. It's the same for you, I'm sure. Oh, but such changes we've seen over the past seventy years or so!"

Thanks for the compliment! Needless to say, I am so proud of her! :)

 Of course, advances in the LGBT culture are more likely to occur in more liberal areas of the country than others. For example, I live in a fairly liberal suburb of Cincinnati but if you travel a mere ten miles or so East of us attitudes definitely change. 

On a bigger scale, if you live in an area such as Seattle where Connie lives is decidedly more liberal for transgender individuals than say, Arkansas where trans minister Elijah Walker

Elijah Walker

is trying to make a difference. check out the story here. Thanks to Bobbie for sharing.

Patti Harrison

Transgender comedian Patti Harrison.

Her appearance on the "Tonight Show" has led to a role on "Shrill" and writing duties on "Big Mouth".

As well as a story in the New York Times.

Are You a Feminist?

One of the questions which basically caught me by surprise during my interview during the Trans Ohio Symposium by J.M. Ellison, was I a feminist.

I said, of course I was and had been one years before I even transitioned fully.

During my years in the restaurant business, I worked mainly around women and their success was my success. Often, I learned the hard way what being a woman was all about, through their eyes. I saw how difficult it was for them to gain and keep the respect of macho dominated kitchen crews and often, how much harder it was for them to work with groups of women.

So yes, I became a firm feminist many years ago. So, it didn't come as a total surprise to me what happened to me when I began to transition to a full time feminine life. All of a sudden, I became a second class citizen when I was talking to a group of men. Also, I had to wait behind guys to get served and wasn't even given credit on how to get to my own house by a tow driver one time.

Amazingly enough, my learning experience carried all the way over to when I started what I called my "lesbian phase."  I ended up having many good experiences along with many which weren't so good. Along the way though, I sensed many of the women I came in contact with on a positive level were reacting to me because I presented as a "lipstick lesbian" with the slightest bit of maleness for balance. Of course most women don't carry the same sexual deep paranoia's as men do.

At any rate, I ended up adding another level of feminine understanding.

I was on a sensory overdrive to prove to my self I could prove my wife wrong when she said I didn't have any idea about what being a woman was all about.

On another level, what I don't understand is why transgender women have such a hard time being accepted by "Terf's"
(Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists).

Very simply, a trans woman has had a different path to becoming a woman. Plus, let's not forget being born female does not make you a woman. Society does.

It would seem to me, in a time where women's rights continue to come under attack, any help would be welcome to change society. Especially from a transgender woman who has been on both sides of the gender fences.

Under Attack!

As I have written about earlier here in Cyrsti's Condo, party time this past weekend at the Trans Ohio Symposium was very fun. As always, we went to our favorite spots Friday and Saturday night...Club Diversity and Thurmans' Cafe for a famous huge burger. Both in Columbus, Ohio.

Club Diversity

As always we Uber our way around Columbus and imbibe a little too heavily. Both nights I stuck to Ohio Brewed (Cleveland) Great Lake's Beer. 

Friday was fairly tame, with the usual amount of cross dressers teetering around on their heels and a few transgender women mixed in. All but a few seemed to be having a good time. I didn't take the time to try to mingle in with any of them and none seemed interested in talking to me. So, we were even. This picture was actually taken last summer at Diversity but I haven't changed much so I used it again.

Saturday, after doing our best to eat half of a huge Thurman's Burger, Liz and I returned to Diversity to consume more adult beverages and listen to a very entertaining live piano player.

Predictably, as the night grew later, the crowd became a little more festive, or in some cases a lot more festive. The cross dressers seemed to disappear for the most part only to be replaced by a few impossibly dressed "girls". One of which couldn't wait to remove her jacket and almost totally expose her "bought boobies" in a very skimpy halter top. Unfortunately, her mini beer belly didn't help the over all image she was trying to get to. But what the hell? Right?? A good time was had by all.

Liz's first Martini of the weekend.

There are actually two bathrooms to use but one is supposed to be for women only. It was in use when I had to go one time, so I tried to stand in line for the unisex bathroom. While I was waiting a man walked up and asked me about the other restroom. I said I was going to try to use it again and he said he would hold my spot unless (of course) I came right back.  It was open, so I took care of business and went back to my seat at the bar.

Well. a little later, Liz went to make her way through the crowd to get us some pop corn and in the minute she was away, this guy comes up and gives me this giant bear hug from behind and sticks his face close to mine and was starting to say something I couldn't comprehend. About this time though, Liz came back and didn't see the humor in any of it and ran him off...quickly.

Then, as we were planning to leave and were saying our goodbyes to our fave bartender. He ended up hugging Liz and kissing me on the lips. Needless to say it has been awhile since I have been kissed by a man with a full beard!

As always, we had a great time and can't wait to go back again!

Prom Time

I have written before here in Cyrsti's Condo about my three very accepting grand children.  I am so proud of the diversity and acceptance my daughter has instilled in them.

For years my grand daughter has presented as androgynous. However, she took it to a very gender fluid height for this years' senior prom. Her high school, obviously accepts diversity too!

Check out her picture! To my knowledge she hasn't mentioned any preferred pronouns as of yet.

Wow! I'm so proud!!!