All Quiet

 For once I am happy to write it's all quiet on the gender front around here. It's like I am some sort of vacation.

Yesterday I had my virtual therapist appointment and we talked about almost everything but my gender dysphoria. Rarely do I feel comfortable in my own skin, now it seems I have a brief respite from my gender dysphoria. Finally a chance to breathe deeply and recharge myself. 

Of course I have asked the question why now? I feel as if several factors are coming into play. The first of which is I feel good with the path my hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has taken me. My hips are continuing to develop as I have taken the torso mass down with the diet Liz and I are on. To refresh your memories, the diet is no joke as it cuts out all sugar and flour from our diet. Conservatively, I have taken off twenty five plus pounds. Liz and I are heading to my daughter's in laws for Thanksgiving, so I am anxious to show off my developing feminine figure. My first wife will be there and she has become quite heavy so I want to show off for her. I shouldn't be too evil though because the last time I saw her, she commented how good I was looking. 

As we all know, looks aren't everything when it comes to gender dysphoria. As I told my therapist, I am feeling better because of my interaction with the public. The last time we went out to dinner, I had no problem communicating with the server and he didn't seem to have any negative problems with me. Of course we don't go out much anymore and most of the time we still wear a mask so the chances of interaction are slim. In a couple weeks I will be part of a group presenting to a master's level sociology class at nearby Miami University of Ohio. So I will have the chance to really get out in public. 

The problem I have is waiting for the other shoe to drop. What I am referring to is waiting for my dysphoria to return. I have lived with it for most of my long life and it has become a part of me. Plus I have never been one to face life on it's own terms without questioning what is around the next corner.

Perhaps also I am moving past gender dysphoria into some sort of impostor syndrome stage of my life. Deep down do I feel even though I may look/act the feminine role, have I earned the right to be here. To be clear, I have because I went through all the changes which cis women experience, Mine were just different. I have always felt women just didn't become women because they were born into it. They had to grow and become women. Just like some boys actually become men. 

All in all, it's too early to speculate if I have any impostor's syndrome. In the meantime, I am going to try to enjoy my quiet period the best I can.   

Running Around in the Bath?

Connie commented on my diet post yesterday which joked about having to run around in the shower just to get wet:

" Maybe you should run yourself a bath, instead? :-) Keep it up, girl! I've gotten down to just 5 pounds over my high school football weight of 167 (I drank so many milk shakes with raw eggs just to maintain that back then). I weigh myself once a week, mostly out of curiosity, but I've learned, as have you, that the scale is not the best way to keep track. I'm hoping to drop that 5 pounds in the next two weeks, as I am living the bachelorette life until my wife returns from her Mexican vacation (I like Mexico, but I'm not sure it would like me anymore)."

I agree about taking a Mexican vacation! My goal is to get down to my Basic Training (Army) weight of 180. But overall, I just want to try to have more energy and feel better.

Speaking or writing of a vacation, Facebook did me a favor (?) and sent me a photo of our summer trip out west to Colorado a couple years ago. On the way we stopped at an ancient train depot in Abilene, Kansas.  It was 99 degrees that day. FYI, I am a huge rail buff.

Summer Time

 Around here we have not suffered from all the very hot temperatures common on the West coast, we still have had our share of 90 degree (F) days along the tropical humidity. As I have mentioned before, due to financial constraints we have no air conditioning.  So it's time to suck up the big girl panties and get over it. 

One of the few things I do like about summer is a change to wear my silky maxi dresses here is a picture on the left taken pre covid when my hair was much shorter and had not been allowed to return to it's natural shade.

Ironically, it's a surprise to me how many things do change and then again not. 

One thing that never changes around here though in Cincinnati, Ohio USA is the summer heat will be with us well into September. We did have a brief break today with a cold front which brought life back to nearly normal

Busting a B

Finally it's becoming evident the hormones are beginning to gain more and more ground in my quest for bigger breasts.
Over the years my bras have been more of a "hit and miss" effort. much was determined by the size "d" breast forms I've owned for years.  Anyway you cut it, I'm a big girl and bigger breasts should come with the package to fill out my figure.
Now though it is time to actually measure my body and find what cup size I have developed to over the last 16 months or so on HRT. Here's a chart I used:

After I used a cloth tape measure and measured around my chest below my breasts and then around the fullest part of them and took the difference, it turned out to be just under 2 inches.

On the chart the difference in Your Standard Cup Size was:

AA.- 0" to 1/2" (1.3cm)
A.- 1/2"- 1" (2.6 cm)
B.- 2" (5.1 cm)
C.- 3"  (7.6 cm)  
D.-  4" (10.2 cm)

Naturally (no pun intended) I was happy with the results. I felt I was filling out a full "A" cup but never a "B" yet. As I have mentioned, supposedly my mother's genetics have a lot to do with this process. She was well endowed so I hope I can eventually develop to a full "C" on the hormones alone.
As with most women, I also have a Spring diet in my future and a plan to lighten my hair this summer with my stylist. Hopefully the warm months will be fun!!!!