Passing Privilege?

I saw a post somewhere the other day about the importance of a person's "passing privilege."

First of all, I am not a big fan of the passing comment at all and always like to refer back to Stana's Femulate comment referring to how she always passed with care, by using her horn, flashing her lights etc.

Long HRT Hair

As far as I am concerned, I go back to what a transgender woman friend told me years ago. She said, I passed out of sheer will power. So many years later, I still do. If people don't like me, it's their problem.

I was never blessed with being a "natural." It took me a long time to realize the compliment "You make a great looking woman," was missing the rest of the comment...for a man. Even though I grew up desperately wanting to be a girl, I lived in a male dominated world and had precious little time to express my "feminine side."

My real inclusion into having any passing privilege at all came after I made the decision to go on HRT. All the good things happened like hair, breasts, soft skin and a rounder face. However, I do believe sometime in the future I will get a health pay back in return for messing around with my body's hormonal basic's.

In the mean time though, I will continue to put my best feminine foot forward to the world the best I can. Out of sheer will power.

Hopefully I won't wear my horn out when I get the chance to pass.   

Checking Your Trans Card?

As I was driving back from Cincinnati today, I began to think about the two young feminine cashiers/baggers at the grocery store Liz and I were checking out at last night.  Both of them were positively falling all over themselves to be nice to me. In fact, I was almost embarrassed. 

This morning I thought-Wow! How times have changed. I am not however naivete enough to believe times have changed for all the transgender community-across the board. Take Cincinnati for example, it's very possible if I am visiting one of the new upscale venues in the downtown "Over the Rhine" district - a trans person or two adds to the true valued diversity of the area. 

But, if I head out 50 miles east of the city, I could just as easily be verbally attacked (or worse).

As I have said here in Cyrsti's Condo, I work as hard as I can in an attempt to garner as much "passing privilege" as possible. Number one, why wouldn't I and number two, I certainly may need it!

Perhaps you have caught the story of a transgender woman finally being tied in with violence in a women's restroom. The problem is - she was attacked by a cis man who followed her into the restroom. That's exactly what we all need, some guy checking out our trans cards and then deciding to beat us up-in the women's room. I know the feeling. In fact, I have a very close genetic friend Min, who has ran restroom "protection" for me in a few situations. (In addition to Liz of course.)

This post though, is not about rest room privilege at all. It is however about the most powerful trans card of all-your personality. More on that next. 

Trans Passing Privilege with a Capital "P"!

Pejic left and Swift right.

I know the last couple posts here in Cyrsti's Condo have dealt with trans women (mostly young) with tons of passing privilege. Now, I know many of you are like me and are just doing your best to get by in the feminine world-But! I do love to dream and marvel at the transitions I see with many Mtf transgender women.

Of course in that category is trans supermodel Andreja Pejic, who by the way turned up on stage with Taylor Swift as part of her BFF Squad.


Australian-born Pejic, 23, is the world's most famous trans model and was recently featured in AmericanVogue. Pejic is also the first transgender model to land a cosmetic campaign. 

I will never say her (Pejic's) appearance with Swift helps me in any way with my life but it sure looks like fun!!!

PBS  I was fortunate enough to be able to catch Kumu Hina.  

It tells the story of Hina Wong-Kalu, a transgender hula teacher. She brings to life Hawaii's traditional embrace of of manu - or those who embody both male and female spirit. 

It is yet another tie in with many ancient/tribal twin spirit traditions which have been so tragically forgotten. Often to the point of religious motivated violence. Also, to those of you who think too many transgender documentaries are tied to those with tons of passing privilege-this is not it. 

Follow the link above for more! 

What Happens Next?

What if Bruce Jenner was asked (instead of what gender are you going to date) where are you going to pee? Of course we would have heard something to the effect of "we will see, not sure yet. (watch the reality show.) "

In several Cyrsti's Condo previous posts I have mentioned my extreme paranoia of getting tossed back in the closet as my life comes to an end. Better known as the closet in the back of the nursing home. Call me a drama queen (or worse) but it is a real worry for me.But, not the subject of this post. 

As much as I want to say too that "passing privilege" should not be an all encompassing factor to living a feminine life- rest room privilege may be.

The last time I looked, about four states had pending laws designed to foster paranoia against trans women and transgender men-involving using the rest room of our choice.

As much as I haven't had a rest room issue for years, the paranoia is nearly as present with me as getting tossed in the nursing home closet. By then my paper diapers should make the whole idea obsolete?

In the meantime, it is not though. I'm fortunate in that most every place I go (no pun intended) Liz is with me. Even though I don't think she understands my "clear and present danger", she "scouts" with me for "potty break" spots.

On the other hand, it's not me I worry about as much the young transgender kids who really have to face restroom trauma. They just don't seem to be going away as the radical right uses the issue to attack us. 

Most of you know how I have felt about stealth but just being able to use a restroom of our choice forces us into it. I am way past being able to fight my way out of a group of angry peeps waiting outside a restroom-or a cop.

No restroom bills in Ohio-yet. But I am always looking for one to "pop up" like a poisonous mushroom in the Spring.

Just a Cross Dresser?

Before I get to the post, here is another comment from our "Did You Hear" post:

Alice BrouleApril 30, 2015 at 10:45 AM

SVU Season 4, Episode 21 was an episode about a pre-op transsexual girl. It was dark and sad but nonetheless well done. Worth watching.
I've always loved the show..

As have I Alice and have always respected the longevity of the show!!

The other day, I had a message on Facebook from a person who identified as "just a cross dresser." 

I responded just??? The comment though, says it all when our "communities" mix. Connie brought it up in our last post when she mentioned for whatever reason, her friend (who had been on HRT for years) became increasingly isolated. She also preferred to identify as a cross dresser. I would suggest (just as a female does not equate a woman) HRT does not identify a transgender person. (As Connie would I am sure.)

I think too, a major factor with HRT is "passing privilege." Yes, it IS a major move and yes it does help one to gain more of the precious "PP". But, in no way in this lifetime (there are not enough hormones in the world) will I ever be able to look like all the beautiful cross dressers or trans women on Pinterest. As Natasha said in our last post, (I paraphrase) just because you are out as a cross dresser or trans woman does not mean you hang out with others of like persuasion. Truly, I don't much. (Another blog post.)

So, there is no such thing as "just a cross dresser." By far, the days I identified as a cross dresser were the toughest of my life. I was hiding behind my dresses refusing to face who I was and managing to make many others just a miserable as I was deep inside.

You cross dressers! It's cool to be who you are!!! Life is too short to not embrace it!