International Womens Day

 

Image from Joeyy Lee on UnSplash

As International Women's Day rolls around again, it is always worth mentioning how transgender women fit in the the group of women at large.

Of course, there is a group of "TERF's" or transphobic cis-gender women, who feel we trans women should be outright excluded from any sisterhood. Shame on them for their narrow minded ideas. It has always seemed to me, the more the merrier in how the feminine population is perceived and should be important to all women. Especially now with all the attacks on women's reproductive rights by Republican politicians across the country. Bottom line is diversity in how women hood is achieved should be celebrated not restricted. 

Which brings me to one of my favorite points concerning womanhood and how it is earned not just given at birth. Even though many women are born female, it doesn't mean they necessarily ever go through the process of becoming women and the same can be certainly said for men. As a transgender woman, I feel I have had to follow a gender path which has led me to my own particular brand of womanhood. So I should be included as much as the next person in "Women's Day." One day in the past I was when I was chosen to participate in a photo shoot celebrating the diversity in all women, not just the classical beautiful ones. Even though the album wasn't chosen to advance to a competition  in Chicago, I was thrilled to be a part. But that wasn't all.  

In my journey, I have been fortunate to have experienced many more positive feminine role models than negative ones who aided me in my journey. Many were lesbians who brought their own brand of being women with them since primarily showing me I didn't need a man to be validated in the world. I could stand alone and make it. On the other hand, I had other women around me who built their lives around children and family and I learned from them also how to further cherish what I had with my marriage to Liz and relationship with my daughter and her grandkids. Especially when my oldest grandchild decided to carve out a non-binary gender path of their own. All of a sudden, I was a role model on how to be brave enough to pursue a life outside the normal gender boundaries. Primarily since I never pursued any gender realignment surgeries, I still deep down knew who I was and needed to make changes  to live my truth.

Also, I don't understand why most all women don't accept trans women on "Women's Day" or any other day to speak of. After all. we have spent time on the other side of the gender fence and decided we did not or could not live there. I have discovered though many more women than men have embraced my change. Men especially are very fragile in their sexuality and have a tendency to ignore me while women are just the opposite.   

If you are still working your way out of your closet into the world and are wondering how you fit into "Women's Day", rest assured you are in the learning process and the day is for you too. When you look at all the young women being educated and starting their own businesses, the future is certainly female and we are certainly in the right group. 

It's Your Day Too!

 Since it is International Woman's Day, it's a great time to recognize it is for all women. The day includes out transgender women plus all of you who still are trapped in your gender closets.

I am sure there are many cis women who may disagree but I am completely biased when I say I consider myself a woman to be reckoned with. After all I spent all those years as I lived a lie living with toxic masculinity. Cis women weren't born women, they were born female. It's a major difference. The socialization aspect of growing into gender roles is the deciding factor.

In fact, our growth into women has been complicated by factors such just living in the feminine world. The first lesson I had to learn was looks weren't everything...communication was. And, to complicate matters even further, I had none of the feedback cis women have on clothes and makeup growing up. I experienced plenty of growing pains.  In my own way I grew up with makeup, I just had no one to tell when I looked like a clown.

Don't forget you have as much of right as anyone to claim the title of woman. I know in my sense, I always felt so natural being in the feminine world. On the other hand, just staying competitive in the male world was always a struggle. It was especially difficult to give up my male privilege's because I had worked so hard to get them. Along the way, I was fortunate to work in an industry where women were starting to succeed so I could see and hopefully understand what they went through. 

What I don't understand is why some cis women don't want to allow us access to the "womyn only spaces" When we worked so hard to get there. Isn't the idea of the more the merrier relevant instead of the outmoded idea of we are just feminized men trying once again to somehow invade their rights.  

I agree too with Stana of the Femulate blog that the future is feminine. Hopefully, less toxic masculinity in the world can lead to fewer instances of tragic wars like we are seeing in the Ukraine right now. 

I need to stress one more time how International Women's Day impacts all of us in the transgender spectrum. Even those of you who are attempting to open your gender door and live as your authentic self. When it does happen for you (and it will), together we can make the world a better place to be. 

International Women's Day

 International Women's Day was yesterday, so yes I am a little late in mentioning it. In many ways I feel justified being late in mentioning it because of how transgender women are largely ignored.  

Since women of all types have been hit so hard by the pandemic, I understand the urgency of any sort of a quality push for gender equality. 

As a woman of transgender experience, I feel added pressure to "fit in" in society. After all, we trans folks, woman or man, have to blend into on some occasions and have to be better on other occasions than our cis gender counterparts. Plus, it's so much harder to obtain quality employment, housing and insurance which also needs addressed.

So, on this late "International Women's Day" post, I'm having a difficult time getting enthused. Even though I have been welcomed to play in the cis women's mailbox on occasion, perhaps it's my impostor syndrome which is keeping me from feeling totally equal.

Then again, maybe someday the world will catch up to our world and transgender women will truly be able to be included in the Women's Day observance. 

The Future is Now!

Yesterday was the International Woman's Day. Basically it is a chance to pause and consider how far women have come into today's society. Or, how far we have to go.

Perhaps you noticed I said "we." Of course I feel transgender women are women too. After all. we trans women have to go through all the same challenges as cis-women, only worse. We face extreme employment discrimination as well as lagging insurance coverage. Not to mention all the violence we face as we transition and lose our male privilege.

As you consider all of our challenges, you begin to realize how ludicrous it is to think being transgender is really a choice.   

The problem is our lives in the future could get so much worse. Several state legislatures around the country are trying to advance anti transgender and LGBT bills, hoping our rapidly deteriorating Supreme Court will uphold them.

The future is especially now for all of you still in the closet, or are young and confused about the future. Unless we all join the fight against the current backward regime in Washington, all could be lost. Even for all the particularly smug cis gays and lesbians enjoying their same sex marriage rulings.

There is going to be one heck of a battle ahead. Be a strong woman and get on board for all of your sisters.

The future is now.