The Power of Pride

Image from Brian Kyed
on UnSplash.

Once again, it is Pride month. Time for celebrations around the country and sadly also time for all the transphobes and homophobes to come crawling out from under their rocks to try to protest.

Over the years, I was a regular participant in Pride marches in Ohio. Primarily the large ones in Columbus and Cincinnati. Very early on, I did not feel as if I had a substantial place to celebrate the “T” in the LGB celebrations. The closest I came to who I was when I saw a group of drag queens or weekend cross-dressers painfully trying to navigate the sidewalks in their sky-high heels. I did not have anything against any group; I just didn’t fit.

Fortunately, over time, things began to change for the better as I began to see more representation from all aspects of the transgender community all the way to parade grand marshals instead of the usual collection of drag queens. It was then I began to enjoy people watching to see all the many layers of rainbow life come together at a big party.

I had different things happen along the way too, like when my future wife Liz made me a shirt that said, “I was a transgender soldier, I fought for your right to discriminate against me.” I wore it into a Veterans Administration exhibit and received too many uncomfortable looks to be happy at the reaction, so I moved on.

Then there was the time that one of the main restrooms was out of order at a Cincinnati Pride which funneled all who needed to go into one restroom. I thought it was funny that all the TERF’s in the crowd who were anti men (and trans women) had to use the same restroom as everyone else. Everyone else except a stray hornet or two took it all in good humor and even went to the extent of passing extra toilet paper up and down the line. For once I was happy that if I was forced to, I could still use a hated urinal since I still had the proper equipment. I did not have to because the men’s room was the one that was closed.

That was the year Liz, and I went on a Pride Pub crawl when there were many more gay venues in the Cincinnati metro area. For a small fee, we were able to ride on a bus to quite a few venues and had a great time. Especially since by the time we finished the route it was raining. Since it was the summertime of the year, I decided to wear my blue tank top, denim mini-skirt and sparkly flip flops (because it was so hot and humid) I was ready for the weather. By the time we were done, we were drunk, soaked and happy we let someone do the driving for Pride as we finished up in a gay country themed bar doing Jello shots. It was one of the Pride evenings I never wanted to end.

I had other fun times when I went to Ohio’s biggest Pride with my lesbian friends in Columbus. Again, I enjoyed my company and the people watching I was doing and I did see other transgender women in the vast crowd. For effect, I wore the trans military themed shirt Liz made me again, but I just wore jeans and flip flops to go with it because I certainly wanted to be comfortable for all the walking I knew was ahead. Ironically, I could have worn much less since by this time, the HRT gender affirming hormones I was on had provided me with a well-formed set of feminine breasts and I could have bought me a set of pasties and joined the lesbian “tit’s out” crowd. But I did not go to that extent to expose myself to the world.

Along the way, I did manage making it to smaller Prides in places such as Yellow Springs, Ohio a very mellow, liberal diverse village who always manages a wonderful celebration of the LGBTQA+ world. One night in particular, I really wanted to see a famous local drag troupe (The Rubi Girls) perform. As luck would have it, I found a seat at the crowded bar next to a ciswoman who was dressed as “Debra Winger” from the “Urban Cowboy” movie, complete with the black cowgirl hat. Through our conversations, I never did find out if she was the real “Debra Winger” or not. Who knows, maybe I should have asked for an autograph but did not want to embarrass myself. As it was, I stayed through the show and donated what I could afford to the “Rubi’s” who at that time had raised over a million dollars for Aids research.

These days, the world has shrunk for me, and I must watch and envy the Pride celebrations from afar because our LGBTQA+ community has a lot to celebrate such as our resistance to and visibility from the politicians who want to crush us. It is sad that Pride encourages all the keyboard cowards to come out of the woodwork in their mom’s basement to harass us. I just hope my writing in such a small way keeps me visible when I can’t be because when I was younger and healthier I enjoyed the Prides I went to.

I also hope the crazies are kept under control wherever you go to celebrate your Pride because you deserve the chance to do it. In Cincinnati alone, later this month, they are expecting a turn out of three hundred thousand people.

I have resigned myself to the fond memories I have of Pride with the close friends I made around me. Together, they made the celebration so much better than they ever knew. Even if you are just beginning on your gender journey, you can celebrate Pride too. Since you are starting to face the long and difficult process of answering many highly personal questions. As you do, your Pride may become a better place to express yourself with others who accept you. I found it to be an amazing experience.

 

  

The Future is Now!

Yesterday was the International Woman's Day. Basically it is a chance to pause and consider how far women have come into today's society. Or, how far we have to go.

Perhaps you noticed I said "we." Of course I feel transgender women are women too. After all. we trans women have to go through all the same challenges as cis-women, only worse. We face extreme employment discrimination as well as lagging insurance coverage. Not to mention all the violence we face as we transition and lose our male privilege.

As you consider all of our challenges, you begin to realize how ludicrous it is to think being transgender is really a choice.   

The problem is our lives in the future could get so much worse. Several state legislatures around the country are trying to advance anti transgender and LGBT bills, hoping our rapidly deteriorating Supreme Court will uphold them.

The future is especially now for all of you still in the closet, or are young and confused about the future. Unless we all join the fight against the current backward regime in Washington, all could be lost. Even for all the particularly smug cis gays and lesbians enjoying their same sex marriage rulings.

There is going to be one heck of a battle ahead. Be a strong woman and get on board for all of your sisters.

The future is now.

Earth Girls Have it Easy???

Used to think years ago girls/women did have it easier than men. After all, back in the day, how hard did June Cleaver really have it on Leave it to Beaver? Except making sure she was looking her best as she served the evening dinner?

Of course as I grew up and learned more about the meaning of "family values"-what were June's wifely duties for husband Ward after the show was over? Of course as the conservative social peeps preach, it was a simpler time. After all, gays were in the closet, men in dresses (transvestites) could be arrested on site and so what if the girl's phys ed teacher acted a "little" masculine?  And, what the hell was a transgender person???

In my case, the more I transitioned into the feminine world, I found out how earth girls had it less easy than earth boys. On the rare occasion a guy did move into my social radar, found that compared to women, I experienced far more problems. I am sure passing privilege had something to do with that, but that is another blog post.

Where I am going with this one is the comment Jazz Jennings made about her teen-aged interactions with male and female class mates. I paraphrase but she said something to the point that her female classmates just had to stick their behinds out to get attention but with her, it was much more difficult with the boys. As you can imagine.

So no, "earth girls" don't have it easy and "earth trans girls" have a much harder time yet!

We can only hope the June Cleaver's of today aren't stopping on their way home from their job picking up "Jesus's Own Chicken" from Chik-fil-et and choosing a much more LGBT friendly chain! 

Happy Fourth!!!! Boom-BOOM!

The Fourth of July holiday this year does mean more to the transgender population of the LBGT crew. The gays and lesbians of course have just fought a hard fought battle to win the nation wide right to same sex marriage. But, for the most part, we trans types were left out in the cold thinking "well that's the right thing to do-but what's in it for us?" 

Being a transgender U.S. Army veteran one of the heights of hypocrisy in our society comes from the military. Recently there have been some real change in the basic policy concerning active trans troops. Unlike gay or lesbian troops, transgender women and men were out. (Talk about uncertainty!)

Then slowly and ever so uncertainly bits and pieces of change were announced. With my very limited on hands knowledge of the military (three years) I knew the "chain of command" was an all important factor in how trans troops could possibly serve. The problem was, you could have one unit commander who supported your job and service-then get transferred to one who didn't and out you go. Discharged, "see ya!"

Now at least in two branches, (Marines and Navy) they have issued a directive to not follow the chain of command and go all the way to the top:

I'm far from the expert, but I see this as one giant step towards moving the Pentagon bureaucracy towards granting troops who fight for the nation-true equality.

Even another cause for celebration!!! 

Gender Slur Bitch II

Thanks all for the quality comments about the generic lesbian who sought me out for a slur:
From Jen Smith:


Has this 'gender slur bitch' forgotten that gays and lesbians used to be ridiculed, humiliated, and excluded from attending "mainstream" events, bullied at school and in public, beaten, and so on?????

Oh.... wait.... they still are.... too.... Just like she did to you.

Grrrrrrrr!!!! Blood boiling over!!!!!


Pat:


It is sad that a group that would demand equality of treatment and opportunity would turn around and cut down and cut off others that are only seeking similar equality. It is hard to tolerate bigotry. Since Liz is a member she should be afforded the right to associate with whomever she pleases.


Paula:


Maybe it's because we are all musicians, but the everyone in the LGSO and LGSW are fully accepting of each other regardless of sexual preferences, gender identity skin colour or indeed anything else except technical ability


Paula, I do think it is important to note the woman I encountered was not the "norm" in the group, although I'm fairly sure she is one of the "lead dogs." As a group though, we do know there is quite the vocal group of radical feminists who are militantly opposed to any transgender gender ideas.  Maybe "gender slut bitch" is one of them.


Pat, you are right and I told them, why are they discriminating against one of their "own" regardless of what they think of me. Never got an answer. It's important to note Liz was only looking for a group of open minded "like thinking" women.


Jen, I'm going to be kind and say "GSB" has not forgotten and decided to establish her own social circle of those socially abused in a similar way. However, she is stuck in some vintage "Little Rascal's" comedy short where the girls had one club and the boys had another.  So, not being invited to either, she started her own exclusive club. Unfortunately, GSB hasn't realized the world is changing.


By the way, the group sent out invites to a political meeting Monday and Liz responded "I was considering coming, but my transgender partner was made to feel unwelcome."  We will see how far this will go!

Being Played for Idiots

Thanks to Bobbie for passing this along.  Once again the Pentagon is playing all of us for a bunch of idiots. From Slate.com:

The ban on transgender service, which survived the 2011 repeal of DADT, is not mandated by statute. So it’s harder for the Pentagon to blame anyone other than itself for wasting talent and making a mockery of its professed commitment to diversity and the dignity of its force. That commitment was trotted out most recently in a Pentagon ceremony this week in which a revised Department of Defense Human Goals Charter integrated gays and lesbians into its language on diversity and inclusion. 

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel went out of his way to tout the progress. “I’m proud that the language of the charter has been updated to reflect the contributions of gay and lesbian military personnel who now serve openly and proudly across America’s armed forces,” he said at the signing. “We will continue striving to make military service a model of equal opportunity for all regardless of race, color, sex, religion, sexual orientation, or national origin.” And here I must pause to say that I, too, am proud of this progress and very glad that the military and the nation have done the right thing at long last. 

But Hagel made a point of holding up the military as a “model of equal opportunity for all,” which makes the continued ban on transgender service, the rationale for which is quickly crumbling, increasingly untenable.

Really? Let's not forget, Chuck, all the recent sexual abuse problems the military has had and more than a couple high ranking generals forced out of their command (and into high paid civilian jobs) for extra marital affairs. I know Hagel is no youngster, but even he must wonder about the lapses in his reasonable thought processes. Or how he sleeps at night after out and out lies.

Boycott Barilla

In a move reminiscent of a certain fast food chicken chain in the United States, Guido Barilla, whose firm has almost half the Italian pasta market and a quarter of that in the US, told Italy’s La Zanzara radio show last night: “I would never do an advert with a homosexual family…if the gays don’t like it they can go an eat another brand. “For us the concept of the sacred family remains one of the fundamental values of the company.” He added: “Everyone has the right to do what they want without disturbing those around them”. But then the pasta magnate upped the ante by attacking gay adoption. “I have no respect for adoption by gay families because this concerns a person who is not able to choose," he said.

 It is up to us to make sure "Bigot Barilla" knows we will go eat another brand!

That's a LOT of Beer!

From the LGBTQNation: and the Oregonian:

 A Portland bar owner has been ordered to pay about $400,000 to a group of transgender patrons he banned from his establishment last year. The Bureau of Labor and Industries civil rights division imposed the penalty against Chris Penner, owner of the Twilight Room Annex.

The Twilight Room Annex, formerly branded as the P Club. Eleven people will share in the penalty, with amounts ranging from $20,000 to $50,000. It’s the first penalty imposed under the 2007 Oregon Equality Act, which protects the rights of gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender Oregonians in employment, housing and public places. Some other complaints ended in settlements.

 The bureau’s civil rights division began investigating the bar formerly known as The P Club last year after owner Chris Penner left a voice message for one of the T-Girls, a social group for transgender people that went to the bar on Friday nights. According to the complaint filed with the bureau, the message said: “People think that a.) We’re a tranny bar, or b.) We’re a gay bar. We are neither. People are not coming in because they just don’t want to be here on a Friday night now.”

Lesson learned?