Showing posts with label hub pages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hub pages. Show all posts

Monday, January 31, 2011

Coming Out to Your Best Friend!

This is another article I wrote for "Hub Pages". In many ways this is my first work of fiction in that none of this ever happened to me exactly. I did come out years ago to a couple of my male friends without much drama. In those days I was very much an occasional crossdresser so life was much simpler? Maybe at my age I just can't remember!
Here's the post:

Do I laugh or cry?
You are a guy and your best friend has been hinting for months about how he is unhappy with his life. He is getting better at changing the conversation from sports to. "Did you see the show last night with the beautiful guy/girl?" Sooner or later, even you get the idea your best friend is trying to tell you something.
Finally (during a private moment) he blurts it out. "I want to be a woman." As you process what he just said, you think "so that is why he dressed as "Cher" last Halloween!"
Well it's all good... maybe. After all, he's still my friend and so what if he goes home on occasion and throws on a dress. There are worse things and I have won't see it. Then the finality of what he said strikes home. "I want to be a woman." Damn! What now? Why did he tell me?
"What now" depends on what kind of friend you are. How secure are you in your masculinity and then again..."What the hell is he thinking?"
At this point, is it time to either blow off the whole situation or even the friendship? How serious is he? After all he is sitting across from you drinking a beer with a five o clock shadow like so many times before. He can't be serious.
Then he says " this is so much more than wearing a dress on Halloween. I want to be a woman." Enough is enough. It's time for one of you to leave and the other to stay with a double shot of whiskey to ponder what just happened.
A week or two or three goes past without so much of a word from your transgendered friend. Finally she calls to sound out your feelings. She tells you she values your friendship. Past, present and future. There is nothing overtly sexual about this. She wants you as a friend and can they meet?
Sure, what's the harm. Same old spot. Same old beers, sports talk and 5 o'clock happy hour shadow. That's when it becomes complicated when his friend wants him to meet "her".
The dynamics are intimidating to say the least. For the sake of discussion, let's ignore all the sexual tension and let's forget how much courage and trust was needed to even attempt the connection.
Men are visual creatures and seeing his best friend as the opposite gender is traumatic for the vast majority of men. Just how is that vision working for him? That depends on many intangibles and one huge one. How does she look?
Let's say she doesn't present well. The less than attractive female image projected by his trans friend can cause immediate problems. Hey, she can't be serious.. This is some kind of joke and he will definitely grow out of it! My friend can never expect to even try to be a woman looking like that! A doubled edged sword to the transgendered friend who so desperately wants to be taken seriously.
Let's say she is gorgeous. Face, hair, legs and clothes just could make her the best looking woman in the room...with you. Another set of problems. You are reacting to him as a woman. What's going on with that? What does that make me? Why is your old drinking buddy teasing you with this? Where did those breasts come from anyhow?
If the truth be known, the middle point of the two scenarios is probably the most common. Your transgendered friend mustered a tremendous amount of courage to tell you at all. She put it all on the line to salvage any of a future friendship. Quite possibly the decision to live as her chosen (not birth) gender was a life or death decision.
You should be honored, frustrated, sad or mad. Your friend as you know him is never coming back. The well worn "still the same person..just looks different" doesn't work. Even when she wears jeans and and a sweat shirt to meet you, it will never be the same. She left the boys club.
Just remember, she didn't leave your club. It may take years for her transformation to become complete and just as long for your friendship to recover. Good luck!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Androgny Rules the Runway!

This is just a fun post I just wrote for "Hub Pages"
Some of it I've covered but from a different angle.

Are Hybrid Models Fair to Women?

Glamorous androgynous male models are becoming the rage on many of the top fashion runways of the world. Most notable are the stunning "Anrej Pejic" and "Lea T".
As a transgender woman myself, I'm fascinated and even a little envious of the look and style. I thought this is good for trans girls everywhere.
When I started to think it through, the whole trend means about as much to me as the average woman on the street.
Sure, a few of the styles seen on the runway will trickle down to my level but certainly not down (or up) to my size. Will I feel excluded again when "Hope Alexander" writes a hub on the new fashions? (Hope is a very prolific fashion reporter.)
Probably so. I'm no different than the majority of women today. Doing the best I can to live up to societies standards. 
I know I will never be a transgender beauty such as "Lea T" as sure as most women know they will never be a "Carrie Underwood"
So no, the runway is not fair to genetic or trans women.  Then again, it was never meant to be.
Androgyny is yet another fun look at a segment of our population who happen who straddle both genders. Custom made for an industry who has featured boyish girls for decades.
Bell bottom jeans and shirt dresses are on their way back anyway. So who cares about the runway?
You go "Lea" Andrej" and "Kate" we'll be watching.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I am NOT a Crossdresser!

You probably aren't either!
I'm sharing a post I wrote for "Hub Pages". Please read it carefully because I'm NOT really saying anything derogatory about crossdressing. Enough of that already exists.

I don't spend 100% of my life yet as a female, but when I do does that qualify me as a crossdresser? When I'm working as a guy...maybe I'm a crossdresser then?
Where is the mystical line? If you take the word in it's most basic form I am a crossdresser because I don't wear the clothes of my birth gender. Then again, who says what my birth gender really was?
What "clicks" in my brain when I'm a girl? I shop and eat and do girl stuff. I simply love the hair, clothes and makeup! The word cross dresser has no meaning. If I'm not a female, I'm certainly not a guy just dressed in ladies clothes trying to fool the world.
Are you a crossdresser? Even if you are walking through the mall in sky high heels, big hair and a short skirt you may not be. You could be going through your teen girl years. It happens to all of them. They grow up and so will you.
Don't get me wrong here. I know I will never be a genetic female. No amount of surgery or hormones has perfected that miracle of science yet. I am a mix of both genders and something I'm becoming very comfortable with. The crossdresser in you will disappear as you feel more comfortable and your female side establishes what she wants to be.
So,when someone refers to you as a crossdresser, maybe you are not. Think of it this way. I'm a guy out of convenience and a girl out of desire!
I know I'm repeating some of my other posts but hopefully you won't mind!
On "Hub Pages" I did come across an article from a slightly confused "straight" guy concerning a very attractive neighbor who turned out to be trans, as well as a friend's encounter with a beautiful "woman" in Las Vegas. I've included a video to make all women jealous... trans or genetic!

Much More than a Phase

  Civil War Cemetery image from the Jessie Hart Archives.  When I was first experimenting with wearing woman's clothing, I worked long a...