Thursday, February 28, 2013

Transgender Beauty

Well, it didn't take long for another young transgender woman from the Katie Couric Show to be subjected to extra publicity. Unlike her younger counterpart on the show (Coy) the 19 year old Devon (above) it seems benefited from puberty blockers and was able to live a mainly stealth existence until this show of course.
Devon's story was a bit different in the sense that Dad may have never totally agreed with the process but Mom listened to her child and all of them made the process possible.
Plus, experts on the show said blockers could be a temporary measure which allows the young person to better decide her or his gender path. Somehow I don't think Devon wants to backtrack and did say she wanted SRS as soon as possible.

The actual video of Dad's struggle is here on the Katie web site.

I know the process had to be hard on Dad. Devon's "Homecoming Princess" crown probably wasn't what he envisioned for his young son on Homecoming. But dad was almost man enough to let it happen!

For many of other of us stuck on the football team so many years ago, Devon's homecoming story was the impossible dream and it is so wonderful to have seen it happen for her!

Only the Beginning

You may recall Coy as the 6 year old transgender girl who was one of the guests on the Katie Couric Show  this week. (here).

Coy
As it turns out at the tender age of six, Coy's struggles are just beginning.
In a move- which could be on a show called "are you smarter than a first grader" (I know the real show is a 5th grader), Coy's school officials at Fountain-Fort Carson School District told her parents that their child could no longer use the girls’ bathroom at Eagleside Elementary.

That shocked her parents, said her mother, Kathryn Mathis. identified  The child had gotten through kindergarten with no problems and no complaints from anyone at the school. (of course)

Fortunately, this whole story is far  from over as a prominent transgender rights group announced  that it  filed a discrimination complaint in Colorado on behalf of Coy. It seems in this case Coy is being used as an example. If her restroom usage is determined now any future problems with unhappy parents could be headed off- if there are any.

The good news is anti-discrimination laws are finally being applied to the transgender community and this shy child has been forced into the spotlight to challenge blatant discrimination. Read more of the story here.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Just In Time for St. Patties Day

I have really tried to steer clear of the trials and tribulations of the Catholic Church here in Cyrsti's Condo.

When their (I'm not Catholic) ancient pope delivered his recent homo and transphobic rant, I brushed it off as another last gasp effort to alienate the world by some out of touch old man. I mean afterall, wasn't he the defacto leader of a church who in the United States at least was (and is)  implicated in a huge amount of pedophilia. So who really cares what the hell the hypocrite says anyway

Of course Pope Benedict XVI ( Joseph Ratzinger) bailed as quickly as Joe Paterno did at Penn State not so long ago. Ironically the straw that broke the camel's back was the allegation of a group of gay and cross dressing priests who operated in the Vatican itself. Now it seems there is more. Perhaps much more as written here.

The astounding news is this:
"The International Tribunal into Crimes of Church and State wrote that a warrant was issued for the pope’s arrest and that he will meet with Italian President Giorgio Napolitano on Saturday to plead for immunity. This is historic, for any legal action against a Vatican employee, much less the pope, is unheard of."

Most certainly, the Catholic Church will again survive this tremendous hypocrisy and try to operate with business as usual. The problem to me is how our culture which includes cross dressers and the gay culture will again be trashed in the process. Check another excerpt from the link which illustrates my point:


"The report on the gay prostitution and cross-dressing is said to be 300 pages long and was delivered to the pope on Dec. 17 by Cardinals Julian Herranz, Joseph Tomko and Salvatore De Giorgi. At his age, the pope must no longer have the stomach for the deviance, and pictures or videos of his priests in garter belts and lacy thongs must have sent him into a crisis of Christ-like proportions. Stepping down in haste shows that he wants the mess to be someone else’s problem. I am sure the pope has locked all the sordidness away deep in recesses of the Vatican basement vault, where only God and the next pope may get a glimpse of them. I doubt Jesus and the Holy Spirit will be allowed within an inch. I can’t say I am shocked at the alleged sex-lies-and-videotape saga, for the high hypocrisy of the Catholic Church stretches all the way to heaven via the backdoor of hell. And though the conspiracies seem to be getting more deviant as the day of the pope’s resignation approaches, nothing is worse than the widespread rape of children over the years and the sickening lengths the Catholic Church has gone to cover them up."

Nothing was ever mentioned of the continuing human tragedy at the hands of pedophiles in the church. Of course.

I must give Bobbie credit for getting me started on this rant and no the Pope wasn't on Cheers. That was John Ratzenberger.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Katie's Transgender Show

Tuesday afternoon in my part of the world, one of the more impressive television shows on transgender youth issues I have ever seen aired on one of my local television affiliates.

Katie Couric hosted a show billed as "Raising a Transgender Child".
Two impressive points were the fact the show was not presented as a sensationalized Anderson Cooper ratings booster and took a serious look at the lives of young transgender children female and male. All of them pounded home the very important point to the casual observer that gender and sexuality were different.
Above I have added a picture from the show including the youngest Coy (six) to icon Renee Richards (78) and yes the other two are transgender also.

Of course the subject of "puberty blockers" was prominently mentioned and experts were plentiful to discuss them. I would guess the more jaded of the public and the transphobic folks would have wanted a few naysayers on the show. In my mind a debate on the subject would have destroyed the continuity of the show.

Of course, I'm sure more than a couple trans nazi's will find something wrong in this show but I'm sure soon you will be able to judge it for yourself on line somewhere. Follow the link above for more!


Drag Queen and the Transgender Girl

We got mail! I love this response from Dianne on doing drag as a transgender woman:

 "I( Dianne) love it! Recently I went with friends to a Burlesque Show that one friend's daughter was in. Yes, seriously, in Boise Idaho... By nature I try hard to be the invisible gal. I am tall and imposing so I wear flats and soft colors and try to disappear. That night? I started with the breast forms that don't fit any more because hormones are doing their magic. I made sure I was spilling over the top! Gold flecked leopard print blouse with a plunge, tight jeans with pocket bling, 2 1/2 inch heeled boots, teased hair, too much makeup. The whole deal. Well since we were friends of the show we ended up center stage, second row. I was terrified. I felt like part of the show. EVERYONE COULD SEE ME!!! Oh shit! Finally I just jumped in. I went to get drinks and I stood up tall, pushed back my hair and strolled my self up the aisle like Mae West on the prowl. I did my best catwalk sashay and prayed I didn't trip on a chair leg or crash to the floor. Oh yah, I got read 100%. I figured I was on Drag Queen and the Transgender Girl"

Thanks Dianne! I can feel the fun from here !
I might add, if any of you ever have a chance to see a real Burlesque Show do it!
A couple of years ago I was very fortunate to see a touring burlesque group from NYC a couple years ago with a friend. Certainly you can really learn "exotic and erotic feminine lessons" from them! My second recommendation would be watching belly dancing  moves! Obviously most all of us have a difficult time with the moves but any of the basics help!

A Change of Pace

We try to show all facets of our world here in Cyrsti's Condo from painful transgender or transsexual transitions to pretty boys in drag becoming hot women on YouTube:

Monday, February 25, 2013

Needle in a Haystack

Let's face it, there are bunches of lonely people in the world and never more than in the transgender culture. Seemingly, we have a couple of strikes against us in the relationship arena before we ever get started.
Many of us have intense relationships which have been severed or destroyed by coming out as transgender women or men.
Then trans women have the unique tendency to be desired by men who are not so positively referred to as admirers.
What's a trans person to do?

We are at the mercy as any cis person in the dating world and we can meet people on line, in person or from other friends...supposedly. Remember, this is only my experience but I have never heard of one transgender friend hooking another up in a dating situation. I have had some success in meeting two of my friends at a sports venue pub and my serious relationship on line. Additionally, I have met several others I stay in contact with on line.

As with many other of my beliefs, I have a tendency to get push back from many people on my on line contact feelings. Most don't realize how many sites I was on and how many screw balls I filtered through to find the quality circle of friends I'm so happy to have now. I hear, well I tried "_____" site and got a bunch of idiots so now I sit here alone now.

I'm going to quote my gf again on our gay tour guide staring at my chest comment: "well the fun part is you attract all kinds".  And mention a chat I recently had with another trans girl I know. She has a man who wants to ask her out who she already knows to an extent. She believes he is a sweet guy.  Before I could think about it I was spouting the company line about "be careful dear" blah blah blah.
Of course we all should be careful as any woman should but why should my friend be denied a shot at happiness with a guy? The reason she could find happiness is that she is different.

I think the bottom line is with too many of us is that we want to jump ahead and say "well I will start dating when my breasts get a little bigger or my hair gets a little longer" or what ever. In the meantime, life slips away on us again!

Think of it this way too. Bunches of cis women have children to pull them through lonely times we don't most of the time. so I think they have a tendency to be too selective and stay in their little room. On the other side of the ledger we can be very exotic critters (or erotic for some of you) because of who we are.  If you play it right, you could end up ahead of the dating competition and be careful you don't get stuck by that needle in the haystack!

Horror Scope

I hate it when the "stars" know more about me than I do! From theFrisky:


Libra (September 23-October 22): You’re going to have to fight through your ADD and stop trying to pass the blame to anyone else. While it does entertain you to see how much you can get away with, especially with those closest to you, where does that get you? Ultimately, this procrastinating is catching up to you and if you want to get control of it, take more responsibility.

 Let's see...ADD? Oh, I lost my train of thought and yes getting away with as much as I can has always been entertaining. As far as procrastination goes, at least I didn't put this off!

"Horrorscope" is my term and your own can be found here

.

The Road Less Traveled

So many times transgender journeys seem to be sugar coated and don't show much of  the pain and suffering.
Here's a transgender woman who is sharing her road less traveled:


Sunday, February 24, 2013

Beautiful Dreamer

From YouTube, a video from a transsexual dreamer:


The Gender Wheel

We are born onto a gender wheel. Jumping off is hard enough. Jumping on another spinning one is even harder.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Yet Another Celeb Drag List

Star Crush recently posted list number 65,000 of celebrities in drag. (just kidding) Nothing really amazing except Adam Lambert. Then again,  he is not really a surprise either when you look at him as a male.

Bruno Mars gets positive reviews from his Saturday Night Live skit and I don't think Jimmy Fallon even made the list. Fallon though, spends so much time as a woman he could be the womanless pageant contestant who seems to be a little too good and a little too comfortable in his dresses.

As I said, not too much new ground but here's the link.

Republican Politics

I really try to not be too political here in Cyrsti's Condo but every once in awhile a story comes along to reinforce my idea of why I'm not a Republican. Here's the latest.

Just when they think you aren't paying attention, House Republican leaders quietly unveiled their Violence Against Women Act reauthorization bill on Friday, a proposal that differs from what the Senate passed last week in a handful of ways, namely in its omission of LGBT protections and its modified language targeting Native American victims of domestic abuse. The GOP proposal was posted on the House Rules Committee website with little fanfare, along with an announcement that the committee will begin moving the bill forward in a Tuesday hearing. Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-Wash.) will sponsor the bill and the House is expected to bring it to a full vote later next week, a House Republican leadership aide confirmed. Here is a link to their 288-page bill and a section-by-section analysis of what's in it. House Republicans are planning to take up the Senate bill, strip its contents and put their language into that bill. A cursory look at the bill reveals some notable changes from the bipartisan VAWA bill that cleared the Senate last week. The House GOP bill entirely leaves out provisions aimed at helping LGBT victims of domestic violence. Specifically, the bill removes "sexual orientation" and "gender identity" from the list of underserved populations who face barriers to accessing victim services, thereby disqualifying LGBT victims from a related grant program. The bill also eliminates a requirement in the Senate bill that programs that receive funding under VAWA provide services regardless of a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. Finally, the bill excludes the LGBT community from the STOP program, the largest VAWA grant program, which gives funds to care providers who work with law enforcement officials to address domestic violence.

 Read more here. Thanks Bobbie!

Trans Reversal

Watching a video of what we used to call "tearing down" after a night of cross dressing is not new. I thought I would pass this one along though because of how it's presented by the transgender woman:


Friday, February 22, 2013

Drag Queen and the Transgender Girl

Angel responded to the "What Not to Wear" post here in Cyrsti's Condo:

"We watched that episode. At one point Casey admitted that she stayed away from makeup and clothes that she perceived as being "too feminine" because she feared being regarded as a drag queen. I thought that was really sad."

Of course I thanked Angel for the wonderful  comment and began to think of her thoughts. How correct she was. I have written here about my drag "liberation".  I too was afraid of being perceived as a drag queen.  My feeling was much of the public thought I was one. Many commented "oh sweetie you going out tonight?" I wanted to scream "I'm always this way!" It's not a special night. In response I just stayed away from gay venues and drag shows in general.

Then all of the sudden friends began to invite me out to shows and gay clubs and I started to go through a few fun changes. On Halloween I found I could do the same thing as many genetic women do- put together a provocative sexy costume and have some fun. The experiences carried over to other evenings when I went out in drag once again and found it was fun. All of the sudden I was similar to a gay guy who does drag for fun or attention or whatever except of course I was a transgender woman doing the same thing.

The best part is I don't have to do drag every time I go. I am not once again shoved into a box I didn't want to be in. My girlfriend has said it best a number of times, I should embrace the times my transgender status works for me. The most recent was on the recent New Orleans trip when our tour guide was not so secretively looking down my top. Both of us were relatively sure he was gay, especially when his two male friends showed up to party with him. When I mentioned the incident to her she said "that's the fun of appealing to both sides of the fence".

We all know there is precious little fun walking our chosen gender paths so we need to grab it when we can. After all, it's our trans privilege.  Our own little club.




Sidney Starr

Sidney Star is a beautiful transgender woman She's a talented hip hop dancer, performer, model and all around entertainer!

Check out her Facebook Page!

Mona Moore

Female impersonator extraordinaire Mona Moore from YouTube:

Girl Talk

Every once in awhile I still encounter the occasional person who thinks all women are sweet, shy beings. Some are of course but this rather X rated comment I heard today from a reality television show showed the not so soft feminine side: (between two 20 something women) " you can take the victim tampon out of your ass"!

I tried to manage rather large groups of female servers for years during my days in the restaurant biz. I would have loved to have heard it then and am surprised I didn't hear it from my female managerial cohorts.

The experience turned out to provide wonderful lessons I needed to start down my transgender path. Primarily,  never forget to beware of the "claws" when you jump into the feminine cat box.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Casey Hits a Home Run!

I recently wrote a post about the transgender woman Casey who was one of the women this year who would be featured on the TLC network show What not to Wear.
After seemingly waiting for months to see the results, I found them on the show's web site.

Wow Casey! Here is the before and after pix...


I'm sure this process wasn't the easiest to undertake but to just have top of the line professionals work a makeover would be a dream come true- for me at least.
You did us proud girl!

For more on the show, go here.

Paolo Ballesteros aka Precious Paola

A couple pictures of Paolo as a cross dressed Paola (left)  giving several genetic women a run for the most beautiful woman on the stage:



Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Bond...James Bond

Talk about feeling old, tonight I went to see the latest James Bond film SkyFall.   I knew have been a fan since I saw the first 007 movie but I didn't realize it was fifty years ago. Really? that's a half a century according to my advanced math.

All age jokes aside, the Bond movies were a transgender nightmare for me. During the times in my youth I was trying so desperately to fit in as a male, James Bond was one heck of a roll model.  The problem was though the Bond Girls were so alluring to me too. That would have been OK if I had not wanted to be one.
As far as we know only one transsexual woman has made it into the Bond Girl's rank and her name was
Caroline Cossey (right)

If you are a strong Bond fan and haven't seen Skyfall yet, I will only say it is a highly transitional Bond. The movie says not so subtly it's time for us old peeps to step aside.  I knew it was time and was especially fascinated with the pictures of the current 007 (Daniel Craig) in drag. Below.

As I remember though, there were some questions about Bond author Ian Fleming's sexuality and I vividly remember a short story which circulated through a classroom in high school which featured Bond as a cross dressed woman.  For all I know, the very gay teacher could have written it himself and it was from him we heard about Fleming.  So don't quote me!!!



At any rate this latest Bond movie at the least presents an interesting transition into the future. If indeed the producers continue the franchise.

Cyrsti's Condo movie revues!

Just Thinking

In my part of the world it seems the latest fad or trend seems to be testosterone shops.  The commercials on the radio stations I listen to scream every third man over 40 has "low T". I think really? Some of us love it! If I had the extra cash, it would be fun to get my "T" tested. When they tell me how low mine is-  scream YAY!!!! and run out the door.

These next thoughts are just a mini rant which have nothing to do with the transgender world at all.
Back in the day, elderly critters motoring around could be identified by a huge vintage Cadillac or some sort of smaller economy car. Today though they are motoring around at 20 mph behind the wheels of big 4 wheel drive pick up trucks or SUV's? Really? If they were driving that slow and not using turn signals in a blinding snow storm I could understand. But on a sunny day, slowing down a block in advance to figure out which gas station line to pull into is a bit much.
The worst part?  I'm trying to figure out which 4 wheel drive monster I'm buying to clog the streets. I need to plan ahead to those fast approaching days.

Don't worry though,  I will turn my hearing aid down so I won't hear your horn or profanity as you drive by!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Boob Job?

I suppose I could have added this post into the More Than Meets the Eye post in a lot of ways.  Out of the clear blue sky on our trip my girlfriend asked if I would want a boob job? I didn't hesitate and said yes! She said she had considered how much better I could fill out halter tops and other fashions this summer with more "boobage".  It occurred to me I should have added this idea to my summer vision of seeing, doing and being. How much more fun would it be to "show off" a nice set of breasts this summer?  Certainly I know my breasts will grow to a genetically predetermined point from the HRT (that I don't know) but surgery would provide instant gratification. 

Frankly, the idea of an operation is an impossible financial dream to me right now...but what a delicious dream it is! Plus, if a person can't dream much of life is lost.

While we are on the subject of boobs, I received my second girl lesson of the best place to store your cell phone. In your bra.  I do know for a fact that certain companies make a bra for that purpose and I do know for a fact I loved the sensation when someone texts me. To do it though, I had to become smooth at the process so I wouldn't attract attention of fishing down my shirt. It's a huge improvement over finding my phone in my purse.

As with many genetic women I do a lot of communication on my cell phone and this lesson was a great one!




More than Meets the Eye?

Another dynamic of being in the public eye as a transgender woman  comes from whom I'm with. My girlfriend is a lesbian who is not shy at all about showing any public affection.
Of course my normal reaction to people staring is they are judging me.  More than once or twice I have been told "how do you know just what the hell they are judging?" Two perceived lesbians or a trans woman and a woman or what?

Early in our public ventures, I was a little shy on the "public affection" but like everything else I finally said to hell with it.
In fact as I look forward to embracing the future as my body continues to feminize, attending LGBT pride events as two women seems like great fun.

All of this is yet another twist on my trans journey I didn't foresee. At one point of time I tried to come up with a "connect the dots" post. I was going to attempt to make some sense of my gender versus my sexuality. As you may know though, logic is not my strong point. My idea of logic is "it exists-so go with it."
If you want to slap the "trans-lesbian" tag on me or even say this is yet another sign that I'm am over active cross dresser that's fine.

I care about the label's about much as I do the stares. That's a surprise...right?

Just For Fun!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Horror Scope!

Yes kids, time does fly by when you are in the "Big Easy" and it's time for another look at the stars! (I know there are a couple of you (Bobbie) who are tying in the Big Easy tag with my morality...stop it :)  )


Libra (September 23 - October 22) Don’t get too detailed with your goals now. While you’ll have reached a new level in your latest pursuit, don’t make too many more plans for the future, as a bunch of variables will pop up and won’t be in line with your ideals. So, save yourself the frustration by just chilling out for now. Instead, sort out where you are and trust when it's time to step it up, the calling will be obvious.

 All kidding aside, this in an incredible look into my near future. Easily the seven days as the real me propelled me to a new transgender level in my life. Yes, I'm definitely sorting my immediate present and future. The calling needs to be obvious though,  because normally I have to be slapped up the side of head to see the light of day.

I will have to turn up my hearing aid and be ready!

**The "Horror Scope" term is my own and you can get your own reading here on theFrisky.

Transsexual History

From Berlinale, Germany 
there is a movie being released about the life of transsexual pioneer entertainer Bambi.


"Bambi was born Jean-Pierre Pruvot in a tiny Algerian village in 1935. Even as a child, she refused to meet the expectations of her extended family, choosing instead to find a way to become the woman she always knew herself to be. A Cabaret Carrousel de Paris performance in Algiers in the 1950s proved to be all the encouragement she needed to emigrate to the French capital, assume the stage name of ‘Bambi’ and lead the life she longed for on the music-hall stages. Jean-Pierre, known since then as Marie-Pierre, is now 77 years old. Hers is a story of deep-seated confusion, painful rejection and impassioned courage. An impressive collage of photographs and chansons, archive footage, excerpts from feature films, Super-8 clips and visits to the places of her childhood provides a sensitive chronicle of her liberating transformation into a radiant transsexual woman. Stops along the way include her first love, her friendship with fellow artiste Coccinelle, her experiments with hormones, her rivals and scandals, the story of how she became a writer – and her surprising encounter with the love of her life."

For more go here!

By The Numbers

From the LA Times:


A new study tracking the percentage of gay and lesbian adults in America has established a first-ever demographic atlas of the group, finding that state populations range from a low of 1.7% of in North Dakota to a high of 10% in the District of Columbia. The study, conducted by Gallup Poll Editor-in-Chief Frank Newport and UCLA scholar Gary J. Gates is the largest population-based survey to include a state-by-state measurement of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender identification. “This is simply new ground -- these are not just new statistics, they are the only estimates we have of these people at the state level,” Gates, a demographer at the Williams Institute at UCLA, which studies sexual orientation, told the Los Angeles Times. “There is no other data out there to verify these numbers, which constitute a significant advancement in our understanding of the LGBT population.” In all, more than 206,000 adult Americans were surveyed for the expansive study, with 41 of the 50 states including polling samples that exceeded 1,000, researchers said. Participants responded to the question, "Do you, personally, identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender?" in surveys conducted between June 1 and Dec. 30, 2012. Only eight states had less than 1,000 completed interviews, including the lowest sample size of 613 in Alaska. Analyzing the state-by-state breakdown, researchers found that while LGBT communities are clearly present nationwide, their visibility is generally higher in states with greater levels of social acceptance and supportive LGBT legal climates.


Of  course there is more and you can go here to read it.

Thanks Bobbie!

To Hell with Stealth

The amazing amount of transgender women and men on YouTube is just wonderful. We "old timers" can just look and wonder at the social media that wasn't during our early lives.
Today you have so many who are willing to document their courage to pursue personal gender truths and then make them public for others...it's amazing!
A common thread of course is the desire to help others. Together, the future will be brighter and
where there is a will, there can be a way.
Here's another example:


The Power of Truth

I believe the true worth of many transgender transition videos on YouTube is the sheer inspiration they pass along to others in the trans community. Check this one!

Public Transportation

More happy endings on YouTube! Thanks Lynne!


Sunday, February 17, 2013

Veterans Administration Update

In the midst of everything else that has happened around here in Cyrsti's Condo I neglected to pass along a very important directive from the VA.
The good news is the transgender directive was renewed from last year. The bad news is it is the same. Briefly the directive mandates the Veterans Administration to provide us with treatment up to the surgical threshold.
Now I'm not looking at this directive as a small deal and when the U.S. military as a whole refuses to allow transgender men and women to serve, I'm surprised it has happened at all.
Plus financially, if you are a transgender vet, this directive does have the potential to save you thousands of dollars should you decide to go the HRT route the right way...with medical supervision.

Here are two of the VHA DIRECTIVE 2013-003 provisions:


a. VA provides health care for transgender patients, including those who present at various points on their transition from one gender to the next. This applies to all Veterans who are enrolled in VA’s health care system or are otherwise eligible for VA care, including those who have had sex reassignment surgery outside of VHA, those who might be considering such surgical intervention, and those who do not wish to undergo sex reassignment surgery but self identify as transgender. Intersex individuals may or may not have interest in changing gender or in acting in ways that are discordant with their assigned gender.

b. VA does not provide sex reassignment surgery or plastic reconstructive surgery for strictly cosmetic purposes.

Finally, as with everything else in life this directive is not permanent but a renewable deal. So if you are considering getting into the system you may want to consider it!

Inspiration Transgender Style

From the Idaho Statesman the story certainly is not new to those in the transgender culture but the ending just could be:

"Growing up throughout your life as a correct gender is … taken for granted. As (girls) grow up, they get their life experiences. They get to go to prom as the date that gets picked up. They get to have kids, have parties and do each other's hair. I've always wanted to do that stuff. I never could. "You can't do that as a guy."
Erika is now 28. It took her 26 years to figure out why she felt so different, why she was so depressed and angry and so frustrated with life. It took 26 years, a growing sense of desperation and a random Internet post for her to begin to understand herself. "

The random internet post led her to Liz:


"Liz Kandziolka, 30, was also born a boy. She declines to give her birth name, the one belonging to her as a boy. "I'd rather just leave it in the past where it belongs," she says. Erika concurs: "That old person is gone." But as a young man, seeking both direction and a marketable career, Liz joined the military. In retrospect, she says that was a way of trying to "hyper-masculinize" herself. Liz was stationed at Mountain Home Air Force Base and deployed to the United Arab Emirates. Liz: "A group of online friends pointed me towards transgender. 'Look it up,' (they said). So I did. I was reading through it: Click. That's exactly what I'm feeling. Everything. Right there." A woman can serve in the military, but a transgender woman cannot. "They still consider it a mental disorder," says Liz. It would be an angry and frustrating five years until she was discharged as a man, before Liz could begin living as a woman."

As we know the basis of our life is so simple under the "gender binary" and so difficult when we add our layers of life. The bottom line from Liz and Erika says it all:

Liz: "We just want to like what we like and be who we want to be, regardless of what anyone else thinks. …

Read the entire story here.  

As a side note for all of you who recoil at the idea of an internet contact...I also met my serious partner through a "random internet contact".

Truck Stop Girl

One of the humorous stories of the trip to Mardi Gras happened when we had to stop at a very busy truck stop just before we got to New Orleans. The driver had to fuel up the bus and the rest of us were on our own to potty and get a refreshment before we actually went over the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway and into the city itself.

So here I was in a very visible situation in a truck stop dammit! Yes I was just dressed in jeans, sweater and tennis shoes but...this part of doing the full time girl thing was not quite what I envisioned getting tossed into on this trip.  I didn't panic though and actually the whole situation turned out to be almost humorous.  Why not try out my femininity in a truck stop?

Thirty minutes seemed like 30 hours though as I confirmed my superhuman transgender powers didn't include becoming invisible. What did happen was I certainly did get quite a few glances from the clientele filling up their big rigs but no offers for a ride!
Just kidding!

Once again, I decided to never delude myself into thinking I should try anything the easy way.

Yes Virginia-Hormones Do Work

Another quality transition transgender woman video from YouTube of course!

 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

The Not So Sweet

Many times the hardest part of this transgender path I'm traveling is taking too much for granted.
I'm thinking the whole world accepts my girl world and life is good. Then of course, here comes reality.
The first dose came at a buffet in **Birmingham, Alabama. The trip down from Cincinnati had been very effortless. Of course I got the usual curious looks from my fellow passengers but nary a side look at a restaurant near Bowling Green, Kentucky.
In Birmingham however I came really close to a total laugh and smirk from an employee at the place we stopped. After a brief moment of hurt, I moved on knowing my chances were good I would never be back. So to hell with him.

I'm not necessarily picking on Alabama here but one of the other ugly moments I think almost occurred when we stopped at the so-called welcome center when we got into the state.  The women's rest room was dark, crowded and smelly to start with. In addition there were two other women not on our tour I'm fairly certain didn't approve of me being there. Fortunately, the bus was close by and we left one of my fans still glaring in the distance. She reinforced my theory that the most active transphobic peeps are women.

For some reason that experience really bothered me for awhile which didn't make any sense because this wasn't my first rodeo. The good part was I didn't have long to dwell on it!
The only other instance was predictable and not negative when you consider the source. Our first dinner as we arrived in New Orleans was a group affair at an upscale venue. This was actually the first and last we had as a group.  Girlfriend and I were sitting towards the end of the long table with four other women easily over the age of 70 and our tour guide. One started asking me how the two of us got together.  I'm still not good at  projecting female in every one on one conversation which at the least gives me a chance to win the other person over no matter how I look to her. I simply failed miserably with this woman who started to slide the "he" word into the conversation about me to others. Plus as luck would have it we encountered each other in the restroom where she softly said "Oh you use the women's room". Overall though, she was a delightful person and I'm fairly sure she had never encountered a transgender person before. She was simply in uncharted territory.

I guess looking back at the seven days, all of this was fairly minor. I do have to make the excuse that most of the time I was utterly denied mirror access. Believe me, during 12 days I need all the help I can get. Finally, I know as time goes by and HRT works it's magic my public presentation will improve but bottom line is I will always have certain male facial angles and body structures which will be challenges. What disappoints me is when I don't take advantage of what I do have which happened several times during the trip.

Enough of these negatives! The next couple posts will cover more of the fun I had including one of the Q&A sessions I had with girl friend about a boob job.











**Please note my experiences in any of the places I mention are isolated and do not reflect an overall opinion of places I know nothing about.

The Blood, the Mud and the Beads!

We arrived in time to check in and walk the 4 blocks or so to Bourbon Street and the Lundi Gras party.
The night turned out to be a combination of a "bucket list"/learning experience.  We started down Bourbon Street fairly comfortably and fairly early with street side drinks in hand. Certainly the crowds were large but nothing unmanageable. We paused several places to lean on a wall and people watch. Here I was as my real self partying in New Orleans! Life was good then BOOM! We moved another 4 blocks or so up the street and then I found out what life in a "mosh pit" must be like. No one moved, beads were flying from as high as two stories up and of course were under your feet. I found out quickly this part of Mardi Gras was ideal for a 20 something person but girlfriend and I went, experienced and bailed! Remember too that the actual "Fat Tuesday" celebration was the next night.

I'm sure that those of you who visit Cyrsti's Condo and have been to New Orleans will vouch for the fact you need to wear comfortable shoes and clothes be ready for a lot of physical contact and be ever alert for flying beads!
The main lesson though was you can party and enjoy the whole experience more if you chose your battles on the fringes of Bourbon Street. Which we did on Tuesday night which is the actual Mardi Gras.

My girlfriend is a Wicca so she had an active interest in some of the shops in the area one of which was down near the cluster of gay venues and a block or so off the main street. Also, we had a chance to find a place where we could sit in an outdoor back patio area. Order drinks and food, enjoy each other's company and have restroom access. At my age taking the meds I am and drinking Louisiana's own Abita Beer I need to plan for potty breaks. As we all know, not the easiest deal for a transgender person. Where we were sitting though, I could watch the traffic to the women's room and make my break while the going was good (no pun intended). As it turned out, that particular restroom  was a story unto itself. It was small and I have no idea of what the woman ahead of me had to eat before she used that restroom...but the place was positively radioactive. Other amenities included the wooden board over the back of the toilet tank and the obligatory water and TP on the floor. Outside of the smell, I found the overall condition of the restroom was about normal for the ones I visited in the Bourbon Street war zone. My biggest problem was not coming out of the room and facing the women waiting to get in (to see if they were going to make a stink about me using the restroom) it was the embarrassment of them thinking I made that stink to start with!

The key to the evening was the weather. The intermittent rain stayed away for the most part and the weather stayed around 70 degrees so I could wear my off the shoulder top and feel a little exotic. But the evening was far from over and I will tell you more in an upcoming post!

My disclaimer here is that New Orleans is a positively wonderful and fascinating place and Mardi Gras is just a part of it!

It's Magic Fay!

From The Guardian archives in the UK:


"It's a man's world in the Magic Circle. Let any spellbinding magicienne, as the female exponents of the art call themselves, try for admission and they'll be quickly asked to disappear. For the Circle, founded in 1905, now numbering more than a thousand members and with a rule discouraging the 'disclosure of magical secrets to the public' is a Men Only organisation. This is causing some annoyance to Oliver Winter, who three years ago was just an ordinary chap, an associate member of the Circle, with an amateur interest in slicing girls in half and doing the usual with rabbits. Today, things are very different, having been involved in a bit of medical magic himself - he changed his sex to female and his name to Fay Presto - he has become Britain's first professional transsexual magician. She finds herself outside the Magic Circle and it will take more than a wave of the wand to get her back in again. 'If they just want to be a gentleman's club they must be allowed to do so.' says Miss Presto, a tall handsome blonde with long painted finger nails. 'But they also set themselves up as the arbiters of all that is right and proper in magic.'

Indeed, it's the magic of the best kind for most transgender men and women!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Road Princess

The reality of the last seven days was overshadowed by the place I was headed. I had no idea of what was to occur.
Let me lay out some details.

Photo by Liz T
First of all we were going down to New Orleans on a tour bus which is an approximate 12 hour trip on the road with nearly 20 other peeps older than even I. The good part of the experience is we were on a bus and the bad part was we were on a bus. I was able to spend mega time with my girl friend and see parts of the country I wasn't familiar with. Some of the country I want to see again. Some I don't. I had the feeling that parts of Alabama and Mississippi haven't seen many transgender folk. A bus rolling down the road doesn't present a problem but rest room stops obviously do. Also it's tough to blend with a group of 70 something women headed into a rest stop. Plus the first task was to win them over. I don't labor under any impression they viewed me as a card carrying genetic woman but I'm fairly sure the discussion over what I really was and my relationship with my girlfriend was. That of course didn't bother me and by the time the trip was over I was accepted by most as a de facto woman. Oddly, the acceptance showed me how far I have come down my transgender path and how far I have to go. I learned why reputable therapists and SRS centers want you to live as a woman or man before you go down a surgical path of no return.

On later posts (for all you statisticians) I will break down my perceptions of the public perception of me and no I didn't forget the basis of this all: Mardi Gras itself. I can only say the event is everything I thought it would me and more and so is the city of New Orleans itself. They do a fabulous job. Returning to the city itself reinforced how much I love the food, music and architecture. On the dark side, examples of the terrible devastation of hurricane Katrina are still evident. I can't vouch for other huge parties but I believe Mardi Gras lives up to it's reputation as one of the best. I'm far from a tour guide but I do have more than a couple ideas of how to navigate the area now and can't wait to go back.

I will use this quote often: "The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat" because it describes my trip. My girlfriend gave me a journal to jot down ideas and I have plenty to cover and they are coming up here in Cyrsti's Condo.



Home Again!

Just rolled back in from Mardi Gras.
I'm fairly sure I can write tons of words about the experience...and will.
Right now I can say the week was simply amazing from all different angles.
I am going to try to break everything out to attempt to make some sort of sense.
Basically the trip was a blur of switching genders in the deep south of the US...not just New Orleans.
Name it and it happened. Acceptance, non acceptance- stares and stealth all combined to make this a fun and sometimes scary trip. I would say once in a lifetime but starting a new lifetime would be more accurate!
Stay tuned!!!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Lou and Rachel
Remember Lou Reed and his classic song "Take a Walk on the Wild Side?
Here's a line from the song:

"Holly came from Miami, F.L.A. Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A. Plucked her eyebrows on the way Shaved her legs and then he was a she"

Which supposedly was about "Holly Woodlawn"

It turns out Lou's source of inspiration for most of the songs on "Coney Island Baby" was his trans lover and muse Rachel," who has has always been "somewhat of a mystery figure."
And I guess she still is!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Packing for the "Big Easy"

Well boys and girls, packing for "The Big Easy" (New Orleans) hasn't been that easy!
Of course this one week adventure will be the longest time in my life living as a woman. On the road that is!

I have never been good at organization and who needed it as a guy on vacation anyway? Maybe it's the effect of the HRT or just the benefit of how I'm living now but I think I have a fairly decent grasp on this.
Here's how I'm approaching this trip:

First of all, the overall style of the trip is casual which is right up my alley. For most of my girl life I've always been a fan of separates. Jeans or slacks with blouses, T-shirts or sweaters are my wardrobe. I have been able to come up a good four to five days of basics which I can mix and match. Most importantly, all are very packable. 

At this point though I began to think of the other feminine items I would need. In a rare moment of clarity, I thought I would start at the top and move down. My shampoo, hair dryer and flat iron hair straightener are ready to go. All shaving equipment is lined up for tomorrow. I have a separate makeup bag which I'm trying to keep all my goodies organized into now then put into my suitcase just before I leave.

Moving down my body, barring any big accidents I have plenty of clean undies packed. I'm planning on an extensive hair removal session in the shower which should easily take me through the trip. (Thank goodness for estrogen)!

Finally, foot ware by essence needs to be comfortable so a couple pair of flats should do the job.

So, I know all of this sounds very complete and certainly will be great until (of course) I find out what I forgot halfway through the trip.

At any rate, I'm so excited to be going that I'm sure I can be creative enough to find a nearby store on the trip to help with any fashion emergencies!

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Making A difference in the Transgender World

Ecuador could receive its first transgender lawmaker this month. Diane Rodriguez, a psychology student and trans rights activist in her home town of Guayaquil, is vying for a Congressional seat in the leftist Ruptura 25 party during the presidential and parliamentary elections held on 17 February. For more go here  from The Gay Star News.

And from North Dakota, Riah Roe testified for a bill to eliminate sexual discrimination in that state:
"Roe told the committee of her experience as a debate coach at Fargo North High School during the 2010-11 school year. During that school year, she taught as a man and testified that she received strong reviews at that time. Over the summer, while beginning the process of transitioning from male to female, Roe informed her employer of the transition process. Eight days later, she was let go. “I went from being a well-traveled individual ... to being a disgusting ‘tranny’ that was unfit to teach children,” Roe said."

The story is from the Bismark Tribune. Riah is shown at the left.

Can't say enough positive about these two women!

Early Morning Thoughts

It's 3 am Eastern Standard Time in the United States of America on the bit of dust we call Earth.
The good thing about being retired is I'm essentially on a 24/7 schedule. The bad thing about being retired is I'm essentially on a 24/7 schedule. Everyone except me is fairly certain I have all the time in the world.
Sometimes I do.
Yesterday I had time to get my hair done, go on a short makeup exploration trip and notice I was well on the way to filling out a nice A cup in the bra I was wearing. And before I forget, fix the damn plumbing in my house which thawed and of course broke. That's feminine, right?

At 3 in the morning, I'm still just me. Sometimes I wonder if that makes me less of a transgender woman? No it doesn't. It only means whom ever strung the wires in my head plugged them in like this.

Curiously I wonder if all of this means I have already gone stealth in my mind. Essentially going stealth in the outside world will happen when get out of my house of 30 some years.  Very simply what it means to my gender status is a total and clean break with the material positions of my past. I have come to the conclusion certain members of the human race will always sniff out my male past. I have also concluded in no way will that matter when I attend my next "Jimmy Buffet" concert next summer.

I tell anyone who cares gender is just a small part of me. Certainly there is so much more my overactive mind than meets the eye. I recently watched a television special on older human beings (older than me even) stagnating mentally. I wonder if I will ever get to a point to when I start to slow down?

All right, I know we are here to discuss transgender "stuff". It's 3 am and I just saw a belly dancer on a crazy late night movie I'm watching and remembered a certain friend of mine's offer to go to dance classes with me. I used to think a move (or moves) like belly dancing would be an impossible idea. From where I'm sitting now the whole idea seems wonderful. I love 3 am!


Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Magician

When I was a kid, every time my Mom went to get her hair done Dad would say "she went to the repair shop".
I some ways I believe that. Our hair does need a lot of repair at my age! It's hard to believe my first hand experience with a feminine salon was four plus months ago.
I know you are thinking "how the hell do you remember that Cyrsti when you can't remember last week?"
Well, it is easy for my less than agile mind to remember when I did make my first trip to the stylist compliments of a birthday present from my daughter. October 3rd  2012.
Perhaps you noticed the new picture at the top of the blog. It is from this morning. Trip number four to get my hair done.
I have found a new descriptor to add to my Dad's: "A trip to the magician!"

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

We Got Mail!

This comment actually came from a transgender person who saw my "Slippery Slope" post on another site. I felt it was worth sharing here in Crysti's Condo. Plus I so love to show my mailbox picture!


"Having lived full time for almost 10 years, having all the effects of hormones I'm going to get (not nearly what I hoped for), being stuck with some male attributes (mostly facial) that could never be resolved with the best of surgeons, and accepting that I will always be "read" as born male body, tolerating the cruel things that shitty people often say, I still almost never have those awful thoughts of turning back. I'm still willing to have the SRS at the drop of a hat (sigh, the money issue...), regardless. It's no longer the holy grail in the sense that the world will then accept me as 100% female. My friends do, and that's all that matters. Even in my own mind, I accept myself as a mix of female brain and male brain, though I feel my body belongs in female form. I think what made the difference is having a distinct memory of those days when I despised pretending to be one of the boys, and resenting everything that stood in my way of living as a female. Truth be said, none of us know what it's like to be a " ______". We only know what our *perception* of "male" and "female" or "man" and "woman" is (which is largely molded by the definitions our culture rams down our throat...). Just as we really only know what it's like to be ourselves, and not another person. If being OK with ourselves comes from the endorsement of the world around us, we're on the wrong path. Peace is something one creates from the raw materials within; no exterior force should be responsible for us obtaining it. I know... easier said than done. "

Well said!

Gender Mutts

A very common opinion among dog people is mutts are the best dogs.
Could it be a human "gender mutt" could fall into the same category? I suppose in a perfect world that would be great but by now you are thinking "just what the hell is Cyrsti smoking".
A transgender or gender fluid person ideally should understand the realities of both genders. Right?
Problems with this utopian idea are wide and varied.

Just a couple examples are one of the many replies I received to the "Dating your Male Self" post to the less than warm reception the average transgender or transsexual person encounters in the public eye. One reply said I couldn't date my male self because I never was one.  Great! I understand that but I believe if you have lived any life presenting as a male some of the world would rub off on you! Wouldn't you have some sort of an idea of how to react to a guy as a woman and understand the process? Doesn't that alone potentially make you a better person?

The world's reaction to us is just plain ignorance and fear at work. We can bring so much to the table if we are allowed. I have said many times here that women potentially cause me the biggest public problems. Some though do ask me why guys they love or interested in act the way they do. For the most part of course, men are too insecure to ask.

So I guess not only am I a genetic mutt (German/British), I'm a gender mutt too.  I may not be the most aristocratic or beautiful mutt in the room but I'm trying to achieve the other great qualities of our breed! I just wish more in our own community would get along better for the good of the whole. The world needs it.  If it realizes it or not.

A Story of Hope

Transgender transition story from YouTube:

Lingerie With a Purpose

We have mentioned Chrysalis, who features lingerie for the transgender woman or cross dresser. Here's a video featuring their model Pitcha

Monday, February 4, 2013

Horror Scope

It's time for a little "star gazing" here in Cyrsti's Condo!


No matter how awkward you feel, know that other you're dealing with is feeling it more. Some sensitivity without self-consciousness will count now, as you will be treading upon delicate emotions. While that can be a turn-off, know this isn’t a definite personality trait, but simply a wall you have to climb to get into the fortress — which will be way sweeter inside. Trust.


As always, "Horror Scope" is my title and you can get your own from theFrisky!

Mid Life Gender Crisis

Transitioning later in life is certainly a bigger deal than just going out and buying a new sports car.
Next to transgender vet ideas and information here in Cyrsti's Condo, going through a mid to late life gender change is a huge topic here too.
Many times it's not the most popular place to be in the trans community as a whole, let alone with long established family and friends.
We are called "pretenders" because we didn't transition earlier in lives or worse.
Of all places, The New York Times looked at the topic recently: "THE ETHICIST" Should I Become a Woman and Risk Causing Pain to My Wife and Children? Here's a portion of the question and answer:

"I’ve been living the life of a married man for 20 years. I have a successful career and three children. All this time, however, I have battled gender dysphoria and the deep sadness that comes from living a lie. From the earliest age, I’ve been unhappy being male. I believed I would find happiness only once I was true to myself. I recently had my self-diagnosis confirmed, and I’m initiating a transition to living as the real me. There is a cost involved: pain to my family and stress on my career. Ethically, is it right to be “true to myself” even if that authenticity ends my otherwise happy marriage and damages the emotional stability of my three children?"

And part of the answer:


" The conclusion is not as simple as the question suggests: it’s impossible to know how much damage this would actually do. Your family may already sense that something is wrong. I could argue that an honest, difficult relationship is still better than a comfortable marriage based on the unreal; it’s also possible that your children (as they mature) will understand your desires completely. It’s entirely possible that this evolution could be positive for everyone involved. This, however, is all speculation. I don’t know you or anyone in your family, and it would be idiotic of me to pretend as if there were one irrefutable response to this situation. The person you need to talk to is your wife. You need to consider what this action will do to your three children, in both the short term and the long term. When you made the decision to have children, you committed yourself to the sacrifice of significant personal freedoms for the betterment of their lives; this is a profound extension of that reality, but that’s your ethical responsibility as a parent. So the question you really need to ask yourself is this: Is your psychological damage from gender dysphoria greater than the psychological damage that its restoration will inflict upon the lives of any (or all) of your children? If the answer is yes, proceed. If the answer is no, don’t do it. Your sadness is tragic, but at least it’s confined to yourself. This advice might seem reactionary, but it’s not a position on whether transitioning is ethical in and of itself. There’s no inherent ethical problem with that decision. It’s about the possibility of improving one life at a greater cost to three others who might lack the intellectual and emotional maturity to comprehend what’s really happening.

Certainly, the person answering the question doesn't have the understanding of the depth of the problem. No where in the answer was the fact that so many transgender people consider the ultimate solution as suicide?
The final point was no better:


"It’s about the possibility of improving one life at a greater cost to three others who might lack the intellectual and emotional maturity to comprehend what’s really happening."

Oh, by the way the advice was written by a man...go figure.

Muscle Memory

Have you heard the term? I've used it here in Cyrsti's Condo a couple times. Very simply it means what it says: "training your muscles to do a certain task."
As males attempting to jump into a feminine role obviously there is quite a bit of learning and relearning to do physically.

Some of us have farther to go than others. Several readers have asked for a before and after picture of me for a point of reference or even a positive example of how you may express your femininity. There is a certain picture of an bearded overweight me that I don't recognize that I'm trying to find, scan and post but have not yet located it.

Back to "muscle memory":  The more I began to consider a serious transgender transition, here's what I tried  to do. Anytime I was out dressed as a guy, I tried to think of my posture, the length of my steps and walking up on the balls of my feet. An easy rule of thumb is women glide and for most their center of gravity of course is around the hips. For most of us, all of this is a difficult process because we have spent so many years developing our male muscle memory. If you can do it observe how a woman moves not how she looks. As we all know, a successful feminine presentation does not have to be a thing of beauty. It needs to be a thing of confidence and reality.

Since I do almost everything backwards, I have always felt you should learn the feminine basics in flats. You can concentrate on your posture, hip and arm movements and then add the heels as you become more comfortable. But that's just me. I know heels are so beneficial to my overall look but they also take me above the 6 foot height limit I have set for myself. There is a big trade out!

The trick to all of this of course is how to flip a switch on your muscle memory.  To this day, I have to not get too comfortable and slip back into my male ways. Back in the day I often had to think about which situation I was in and was I flipping the female switch without thinking when I was working as a guy. This became more of a problem when I began to really try to incorporate more feminine voice patterns into to "the switch".

I am not going to sit here and tell you I'm even close to where I want to be in this process. On the other hand if I don't have a plan I will certainly never get to where I want to go.

In the meantime girls "shoulders back, chest out and glide!"

Saturday, February 2, 2013

The Words We All Want to Hear!

This post is from the Baltimore OUTloud site:


"I volunteer with a number of organizations that interact with youth, mostly high-school age. I did this before transition and continued to do so during and after. One of these groups is focused on science, technology, and math. I’ve been an adult mentor with my son’s robotics team for five years. I love and enjoy helping develop young minds to solve problems. I’m happy to report that despite what the media might tell you the future is in great hands and these brilliant kids will solve many problems that vex us presently. When I transitioned I had concerns that this group might not embrace the change.
I didn’t know what to expect from a program of about 40 kids and their parents. It could have been a big deal. It turns out it wasn’t. Among all of the people and groups in my life, this robotics club turned out to be the one that seemed to care the least about me becoming “me.” My “rollout” was done via a parent- and then student meeting, and then, of course, my debut. Shortly after the first meeting I received an email from a concerned parent. It went more or less like this: “When I heard that our meeting was concerning you I was worried that you might be leaving our program. Thank goodness you are only changing your gender!” I was astonished to say the least."

Wow, won't it be great when the world gets to the point of "you are only changing your gender?"

This post has many other wonderful points such as when the author protests the catering by a "certain chicken chain" go here for more.

The Slippery Slope

Over the past several months or more here in Cyrsti's Condo, I have mentioned a friend I knew from my earliest days as a cross dresser. In fact I was the benefactor from his final purge way "back in the day". He walked away 30 plus years ago and in many ways has never looked back. We are quite fond in talking about the diverse individuals we knew in our little group. As it turned out we were quite diverse compared to our very small numbers. I know for sure three out of ten went on to SRS, one (me) now identifies as transgender, at least one has passed away and the rest I just lost track of.. Oh yes, there was one who ended up marrying a trans woman. 

You have perhaps noticed me use one of the women who went through the surgery - as one who probably shouldn't have.  I'm going to call her "A". "B" was her friend and incredibly at home after the surgery and has led a happy and successful life. The third transsexual had already gone through SRS when I met her and was doing well in life then too. She was pretty much stealth except to us. 

He talked about why he didn't go any farther then and referred to the cross dressing process as a "slippery slope". Here is my response:

"The slippery slope is indeed a complex concept. Here's how I think it worked with me. I spent my life looking up the slope wondering if I could climb to a feminine existence and how it would feel...or would I turn back. I certainly didn't look at the slope as a problem if I fell!"
He did and used "A" as an example. She was the person who started down the slope and couldn't get back to her male self. I said:
" Of course there is the need to look better and better and in that case you can slide down the hill as a man if you fall in love with yourself and your public perception. What's more fun, being an average looking guy or an attractive woman? ...(Cue the A tape)
Then there are the "naturals" who essentially start at the peak, look around and think "this is me" (Cue B tape)"
The conversation then went into what if we dated A or B as a man? The answer was dating "A" would be going out with a CD while dating "B" would be very much a challenge to interact with an intellectual, worldly, attractive woman.

"Then there are the seekers. Those who spend years wondering exactly why they feel the way they do. Could they be more comfortable as a girl. You can compare it to a slow mountain climb where you stop, explore and take refuge during storms in caves along the way (Cue the Cyrsti tape) Several years ago, I stopped in a cave and experienced a profound feeling of warmth and well being as a woman. I decided I would never want to go back down the mountain to who I used to be."

Maybe the "Slippery Slope" could be a topic in my Trans Ohio transgender workshop I'm presenting in April?


Young and Blond and on YouTube

Just another tremendous transgender transition from YouTube:

Friday, February 1, 2013

My Partner Came Out Trans

Part two of the xoJanes'  "It Happened to Me" contest entry which caught my eye.
Not only did her partner come out as transgender, the process happened while she was pregnant. It's quite the entry! :

"In one year, I got pregnant with my boyfriend and I gave birth with my girlfriend. 

For me, supporting my partner was a lot trickier than those famous people interviews let on. First, as my partner was sliding on down the spectrum of socially constructed gender, I was a becoming a full on female mammal. Not all women experience pregnancy that way, but I reveled in being a baby-making, milk-producing, female warrior. I got into making my nest, quite literally when it was time for our home birth. I let those new hormones flood my mind and make all my decisions for me, even if it meant my beloved bike riding was suddenly The World's Most Dangerous Activity and required a family-wide ban. I resisted verbalizing all the essentialist "My fertile uterus connects me to ALL THE WOMEN" feelings that I was feeling, but I still loved those feelings. Hell, I felt a connection with the mama squirrels in the park. It was quite a contradiction to how my partner was experiencing what it means to be a woman. This made for some strained conversations about our quickly changing lives, each of us not wanting to seem unsupportive of the other, but neither of us being able to fully understand where the other was coming from.

"

I'm sure you will want to read more here!

I Married a Cross Dresser!

No! Not me!!! What would possess a person do do something like that!! Just kidding.

One of the genetic female sites (I think) is called xoJane and their recent "It Happened to Me" topic was I married a Cross Dresser. Truly the post didn't end like I thought it would.
I won't ruin it for you. Go here to find out.

As I continued to look at the site I found an even more interesting contest entry which will be in my next post!

Mardi Gras Countdown

Well, I'm down to approximately a week before my trip to New Orleans and Mardi Gras.
I believe I can post to Cyrsti's Condo  from my girl friend's lap top so perhaps I can document this "epic" journey.
Typically, people who haven't seen me for awhile or check in with an email ask me if I am going on the whole trip as a woman. Yes I am!
While questions such as that from people( I think a couple should know better) sometimes aggravate me but overall I know I'm still an educational process for myself and those around me. Plus they remember my "in between days". Trying to explain I don't wear wigs anymore is often the hardest part. Perhaps some people didn't know I ever did? Not many I'm sure!
My fashion plans are simple: concentrating on being as attractive and comfortable as I can be.
I'm sooo looking forward this trip and it is occasions such as this which make all the struggles I've gone through worth the trouble.
In fact the whole idea seems surreal at times and I sometimes wonder why I didn't start the transition process earlier. A couple days ago on another site, another "person of age" reminded me of the days of our youth when it was possible to be arrested for "dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex". So I guess that could have been a deterrent. Too late to cry over spilled foundation now!
I'm just happy to have lasted this long on this world and am fortunate to take off on yet another part of my transgender journey- which just happens to pass through New Orleans!

The Beneficial Effects of Gay Bigots

Whats good about a bigot? They have the ability to make you step back, take a look at the situation and make your move.

Of course gay bigots are no different than any others. The gays have their own little club in many ways which can be as exclusive and bitter as the Ku Klux Klan. What leads me down this path is an email I received from a reader who came under a transphobic verbal attack from a gay man. I'm paraphrasing here but the message was "I'm gay but not that gay"! DUH! Neither are we you idiot!

I spent a brief amount of time wondering just how the hell we got lumped together with them to begin with but moved on quickly. Now I want to thank the gay male venue who blatantly discriminated against me one night. I took my money and headed to straight venues where I did not get discriminated against. They didn't understand where I was coming from (like the gays) but came to accept me quicker and the huge transphobic kick in the pants turned out to be a life changing experience for me.

Before I let my rant get out of control and end up sounding like them, I do think the gay world is slowly starting to realize who the transgender community is. I'm going to go out on a limb and say in my neck of the woods trans men could be having a huge impact. They don't have the "drag queen" stereotype to fight through to start with to effect change in thinking. "Out and Proud" seems to be more of a theme more than the "Stealth and Gone" policy of transsexual women. (Just my hunch.)

Finally, like it or not we are the "T" in their club. Surely I have seen cross dressers pull off some pretty dumb things in gay venues but then again no more than than gay guys.
Certainly,  there are always going to be bigots to be faced from all facets of society but if we all hold our ground they will fade as surely as the klan has.

Putting a Voice to the Face

Transsexual model Lea T:
From YouTube of course: