Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Years Eve "Kick Off"!

Merry New Years to all of you who may still be waiting from Cyrsti's Condo!!
Here's a festive drag queen video with all the drag queen colorful language!  Oh well, hopefully a queen is as good as a lady!

More Sisterhood

I like this comment from Pat:

 In large measure men tend to be calculators. "What is in it for them". When they encounter someone the often think of what that person may be looking for. Women, on the other hand, tend to view things at multiple levels at the same time. You as a TG women present an enigma to men. They do not get it, there is nothing that they want from you, they hope that there is nothing that you want from them and you can be a bit of a threat. 

Women will not see you as a threat. You are interesting. You can interact with women on a woman to woman basis and you can bring along some of your 'guy' experiences. I think that your analogy of changing teams is going in the right direction but perhaps it is more like changing sports. Sort of like going from playing for the Cincy Bengals and not finding yourself on the roster of the Cleveland Indians.

A good question becomes, "When do women see a transgender woman as a threat?"  Over the years, on several discussion sites, I have seen this topic discussed.  The most shallow response is always "a genetic woman may be threatened by a beautiful transgender woman's looks." While I agree a woman may feel a bit insecure when a former team player from the other side enters her world and competes "externally", very quickly the "multiple levels" Pat brought up kick in. No matter how "good" a cross dresser or transgender woman may look, another genetic woman will quickly discover how much of a woman they really are.  From that point, a woman decides which "category" her new trans acquaintance fits in.

Of course the major threat of all to both genders is sex.  Men are wrecked by us.  I will add to Pat's observation "what if there is something a man wants from us?"  At that point, the "gay" word is brought into the situation and confusion reigns.  OMG could I be gay? - is what a man thinks when in fact "gay" is not a term which enters a true transgender woman's mind.  I have had very limited sexual contact with men but when I did, I was doing it as a trans woman.   I came away from the experiences wondering what the men thought of me as a woman.

At the least, the whole gender mix is a potent and interesting discussion topic.  The sad part is seemingly the only non participants are the hardcore femme lesbians these days.  It's no surprise though, a certain amount of the population can't grasp the idea of multiple genders and sexuality outside the binaries.  It's complex!

In the meantime, as my genetic girlfriend told me last night, she really has very little idea of what makes men tick.  She made the comment also "I should be the gender expert."  I could only say, I'm amazed how little each gender knows about the other, when they are so transparent.  It could be, Pat, calling transgender women and men "interesting" could be an understatement.  "Mysterious" may be a better word!

Transitioning Over the Years

Another look at the possibilities of transgender transitioning over the years. Take a look on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:


Cyrsti's Condo "Transgender Women of the Year."



As awards go for these two women, our humble mention here in "the Condo" doesn't amount to much- except to us.

I chose two from many possibilities.  These transgender women were chosen primarily because of their tremendous in impact on the world at large.  Both have proved to be so much more than just a pretty face and seem to have bright futures ahead of them!

The first is Carmen Carrerra,  
Carmen Carrera a transgender American reality television personality, model, and burlesque performer.

The second is

Jenna Talackova. (right)   Jenna is a Canadian model and television personality, who gained media attention in 2012 when she successfully waged a legal battle to be allowed to compete in the Miss Universe Canada after being initially disqualified for being a trans woman.

As I said, with transgender women such as Carmen and Jenna in the public eye, the future is brighter for all of us in 2014 and beyond.


Transitioning into 2014, Part Two

Following up on my first 2014 "Resolutions" post, here are a couple more.  One easy, one not, both have a definite expiration date.

The last weekend in May this year is the 6th annual "Trans Ohio Symposium".  You Cyrsti's Condo regulars may remember I was a workshop presenter last year on the subject of  transgender transitioning later in life.  Presuming I didn't wear out my welcome in one year, I plan on doing the workshop again and roll out my book there too.

As I have mentioned, I'm a terrible closer or finisher so this time I have given myself a finite date to be finished with the project- one way or another.  My only real problem is organizing the content I have and then having the basic courage to present it. Good or bad!

My final two resolutions I will save for a final post.  Both are extremely complex and may involve extra outside intervention which means "resolution" may be the wrong word.  "Plan" could be a better one.

And, by the way, I do have one item on my "wish" list for 2014- Breast augmentation.   I feel my "biological clock" is running out and even though I love and respect what HRT has done for my "girls", I still want to experience what life would be like for me with a set of breasts which "fit" my build.  At this point in time, financial considerations keep the idea on a "wish list".  One way or another though, I will live with lesser girls in the neighborhood and be lucky if that is all I have to worry about in 2014!

Monday, December 30, 2013

Cyrsti's Condo Final "Horror Scope" for 2013

Saving the best for last, here is the final Libra scope of the year,and I LOVE it!

September 23-October 22): The freedom to live the way you want is out there for the taking, as you will have the power to connect all your dots in a way that puts you ahead. Be on the lookout for ingenious ideas and partners that will cross your path and could make life better. Sure, a few commitments may fall apart, but others will get stronger, and in the end, it’ll all come out in your favor.

By the end of 2014, you’ll find your truest birds of a feather and you’ll be your happiest together. The only worries you will have to concern yourself with this year will be saying when too much of a good thing gets to be too predictable. So, this year, get ready to see all those hopes and dreams you never thought were possible actually come true.

What more can I say than,  you can find your own "scope" here from theFrisky .

Happy New Years!!!

2014 Resolutions

I have put off writing this Cyrsti's Condo post almost as long as I can!  I really haven't believed much in New Year's resolutions ever in my life.  Truthfully, I'm too short term to worry much about what Mother Karma is going to toss at me.  Also, my 30 plus years in an extremely short term industry (restaurant mgt) instilled a short term mentality.

For a couple reasons though, I have decided to put together a list of resolutions for 2104.  A few are simple, a few not so much.  Plus, all of you "purist's" could point out resolutions are merely goals and as such must be achievable.  I hope my first resolution is!

  1. Stay alive and healthy through 2014.  Not a given for a person of my age (64) and on HRT.  I try to walk everyday, see my doc's and on occasion eat right.
  2. Get the hell out of the fashion rut I am in.  My girlfriend has pledged her support in upgrading my fashion and style look next year. It's bad when even she is tired of my look.   She feels I need a color update and more emphasis on my body positives.  Obviously, I'm behind this 100%!
  3. Cross a long ignored "bucket list" item off my list.  I have only performed on the "drag stage" once in my life and I want to do it again but with a totally different idea. I'm a big enough "ham" to put together a character called "Marie La'No!"  - Presser of Palms, Reader of Cards, Teller of Fortunes and all around Quacktress.  The idea is to totally work the crowd and embarrass folks during show breaks.  Below is an example of my stage look, compliments of Liz!

The top three are all very much achievable,  my next three coming up in a future post, not so much!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

article imageSeason Three of Korea’s Next Top Model features among its cast of aspiring fashionistas Choi Han-bit, who is transgender.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Transgender and Mormon

From the Big Gay Picture Show

In the last couple of the weeks the fact the courts in Utah have allowed gay couples to marry has thrown the spotlight on gay Mormons. Utah is, after all, the church’s home territory. Indeed over the years there’s been a fair amount of talk about gays and Mormons, due to the fact the church has, until very recently, actively worked against gay rights. However a subject that is hardly ever talked about, are those people brought up Mormon but who are transgender. 

The short documentary, Transmormon, takes on this topic, and it’s well worth a look. Created by OHO Media (aka Torben Bernhard, Marissa Lila and Travis Low), the film follows Eri Hayward, who ‘was born and raised in Utah County, comes from a conservative Mormon background, was raised in the LDS Church and even went to Mormon private school – but something wasn’t adding up. 

Eri was born a boy and it was a slow, painful journey for her to recognize she is transgender.’ The short covers a few months as Eri and her family navigate the transition, and she prepares to go to Thailand for sexual reassignment surgery.


Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Difficult to believe this is our last Sunday get together for 2013.  My Mom was right, "Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The quicker you get to the end, the faster it goes." A true philosopher was Mom!

Here we go:

"Social Media".-  Enough is never enough!  Cyrsti's Condo is now on Pinterest joining my Twitter link, Facebook, Google+ and Linkedin.  It seems "networking" has become part of my life as a blogger.  I know some of you already follow a couple of my other spots but in reality almost all my original offerings are here in "the Condo". Here's why I link to them (which means very little):  Twitter is a great place to retweet very timely and important news quickly to a whole different group and it is soooo easy!  Facebook, I have never really understood the full benefit of being there or how to use it effectively-so I don't.  Plus FB seems to be "time needy". Google+ is simple and is part of this whole platform, so why not?  Linkedin is interesting in that I've been able to say hello to more than a couple very influential transgender people I respect such as "Frock Magazine's" Katie Glover  , transgender veteran activist Autumn Sandeen, top of the line transgender blogger and writer Matt Kailey , Femulate's Stana Stana and many more including the "es-steamed" Bobbie.

"Public Media"- "DuckBoy Phil " of Duck Dynasty managed to "mysteriously" have homophobic and racist comments published in GQ just before a holiday "marathon" presentation of the Louisiana Yuppies television show.  Of course the "Duckster" has now apologized and will be brought back in the Spring. Blah, blah, blah.

"Da Holiday's"  In modern society, it seems the most difficult part of the holidays is to slow down enough to enjoy them, although to all too many of the transgender community, this time of year is excruciatingly painful. Hopefully, you were able to celebrate the true meaning of the season.

"Sports! "  I know better to even mention the Cincinnati Bengals and the NFL playoffs in the same sentence but I did and I was met by a flood of negative feelings.  Almost as the negativity I feel towards The Ohio State University football defense.  As Mom also reminded us, "If you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all."  She reminded us but never came close to following the idea. But I'm going to follow the concept and shut up about sports! Could be worse, I could be a NYC sports fan! (Pat)

Coming up in the final days of 2013:  My much promised New Year's resolution and a final "Horror Scope".
Thanks for finishing the year with us here in Cyrsti's Condo!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

Today, the beautiful transsexual entertainer Christina Rapado from Spain stops by Cyrsti's Condo!

Saturday, December 28, 2013

"Dragging Up the Past"

Every once in awhile I come across a very rare old picture here in Cyrsti's Condo.  I was able to scan this and show it to all of you.  I know it has to go back approximately 6 years and was taken at a local gay venue -by whom and for what reason I don't remember.  I do recall the blond in the picture is a blond named "Sherri".

I call it my "dark and miserable" drag queen look. But no I wasn't any sort of a performer!

Transgender and Genetic "Sisters"

Around here in Cyrsti's Condo of course we have literally kicked around the idea of how "admirers" and other men react to transgender women or cross dressers.  What we haven't discussed much is how genetic women react to us. Are we really "sisters"?

Yes, of course we are.  If you compare us as "sisters" we are no different than many genetic women and their "blood" sisters. I can't begin to tell you the number of women I knew over the years who were as different as night and day to their sisters.

I believe we interact on a "sister" level and share many of the same concerns as genetic women if they like it or not. We have the same security, interaction and appearance issues, to name a few.  In fact, transgender women experience all of those on a much larger scale.  We have to work harder to present feminine, communicate feminine and we all know how in certain places in the United States and around the world, trans people are considered expendable.

In my case, I believe what nature didn't give me in the genetal area as a trans woman, she gave back to me with my knowledge of both genders. So, I'm secure with what I bring to the table as I interact with my genetic  "sisters".

First, I don't threaten any of a woman's core instincts. I have entered her "sandbox" and she doesn't have to deal with any male ego or sexual tension. I'm firmly entrenched on her "turf".  Second, women "don't have to hate me because I'm beautiful" and I do my best to dress "feminine appropriate" everywhere I go and try to never force any issue.

What happens is many women are intrigued that I am more than just a "guy in a dress" and obviously have entered some sort of androgynous world.. All of the sudden, the word transgender is not so hard for me to explain, for them to grasp and the fun begins. Unlike men, who have the ultra paranoia about someone switching teams, women wonder why you want to join their team.  What's your angle,  how much do you know about playing on the team and "oh yeah" there is still that question of the pesky male life you used to live.  What's up with all of that?

So you see, we really are "sisters".  We have discussed here in "the Condo" how the majority of transgender persons and cross dressers have interacted with more women than men our entire lives -  We know more than a little of how the process works. Just enough to make us dangerous.

The difference becomes as you transition more and more into the genetic feminine world, they pull out all the stops.  You tossed your guy self in the trash.  Now you have to be ready for the ground floor course at how sisters really react.

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day."

Eli ErlickCalifornia Transgender activist 18-year-old Eli Erlick. She's a transgender high school graduate of Willits Charter School in Willits, and she's also the executive director of Trans Student Equality Resources.

Yet another "non stealth" closet dweller!

Friday, December 27, 2013

"Pat's Resolution"

As you regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know, Pat is a regular contributor in our "comments" sections and should have a 2014 resolution to start her own blog.  She addresses a particular niche in our community of a person who navigates somewhere in between a cross dresser and the bottom transgender threshold.  If indeed she took off to her own blog, I indeed would miss her comments for two reasons:

The first is she makes sense, the second is I need her material on days I can't think of anything to write about.  Yes, that does happen!

Here are examples.  Sometime ago Pat pointed out : One of the benefits of being a CD or even a TG is the ability to change sizes, shapes, etc. I am essentially a CD so I find I can pick from several different bras of varying construction and dimension and then pick what to use to fill them with. I have a large set of silicon breasts as well as a smaller rounder set. I have a few sets of foam inserts, some chicken cutlets and a few home made forms. I also like the ability to pick a wig and change my look in that fashion.

So true!  On occasion before I became a transgender "citizen" I remember the good old days when I could pick from several wigs and looks!  I lived in my mirror (which lied to me continually)  before I went out the door. Being told what I wanted to hear was wonderful,  until I got laughed at in the first store I went to. Dammit! I wasn't the sexy woman the mirror told me I was?

As Cyrsti took on a life of her own, people I knew picked up on the image of who I was on a day to day basis.  Also the more full time I became, like any genetic woman, the time and effort to put my best foot forward to the world just had to be streamlined. You have seen my last picture, the no photo shopped, the no glamour boutique photo. It was just me, not giving Jennifer Aniston a run for her money! I catch myself muttering the same thing a few of the women I have been close to during my life said "well, it doesn't get any better than this, let's go."

Which brings us back to the idea of "Drag and the Transgender Woman". Many times I have written how much fun it was to do drag again at a gay venue in the past and I have an idea to take that a step further in 2014!

Out and About

Two transgender women who forsook the stealth closet in 2013 have made the news again:

Fallon Fox, the Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter who came out transgender in March, said in a GQ profile that passing is everything. The 5-page story follows Fox, 37, as she prepares to fight Ashlee Evans-Smith. Along the way, we learn that Fox wasn't always sure she wasn't a boy. “There was no time to think about that back in East Toledo, Ohio, in a house where fearing the Lord was a full-time job,” GQ wrote. 

As early as 5 or 6, Fox experimented with girls' clothing. “I stood in front of the mirror, and I knew it was right,” she said. “But it also meant I was damned. I mean, that seemed totally logical to me. You feel that way and you think you've got the Devil in you, just like they say.” “Where I came from, it was more shocking to be an atheist than to be transgender,” Fox said. In 2006, Fox boarded a plane to Thailand to undergo sex reassignment surgery. She went alone. 

“Passing becomes everything, everything,” Fox said. “Every time you go into a Starbucks and there's nothing in someone's eyes, it feels great.”

Feminine figure: Transgender director Lana Wachowski was spotted at LAX airport on MondayAnd there was  Lana Wachowski, (right) who transitioned in 2002. She's one of the most influential directors in Hollywood, having inspired a generation of filmmakers with her Matrix trilogy. Quite the outfit! 


Cyrsti's Condo Featured "Lady of the Day"

Today we feature two of the classic female impersonators Holly White and Kicks Wilde!

Holly White and Kicks Wilde

And So It Was Christmas!

Well, jolly old St. Nick has come and gone again.  I hope your Christmas was as good as mine. I must be doing something right!

I'm fortunate, the family I left is very close to me.  Some know I'm transgender and others suspect I simply have an extreme affection for women's clothes. This year I was able to put all that drama in my noggin aside and simply go as what is left of my guy self.  I was selfish to a degree but I've learned the hard way how life can change from year to year and next year I know mine will for reasons I will get into later.

For the moment though, I hope your Christmas experience was a positive one because I know for so many of us in the transgender community it just isn't. We aren't as lucky as our so called "brothers and sisters", in  the G and L communities. They simply have more developed resources to deal with holiday stress and we are tragically left in the corner alone. Even several gay venues opened for Christmas dinners around here, so everyone had a place to go. Thanks to fewer trans folks bolting immediately for the stealth closet, hopefully next year will be better for all of us too! I know I feel much more comfortable meeting my local G&L group now that I made a special point of introducing myself to them last summer.

Next week of course is the New Year, a time to take stock of the past and look forward to the future. Without dreams and goals our lives just sit and wither away.  Between now and the first, I'm going to share my 2014 "resolutions" with you and all my friends here in Cyrsti's Condo! Get your pen and paper ready!

Thursday, December 26, 2013


Several times in the past here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have discussed the contents of one's purse.  It has proven to be an entertaining subject which has drawn plenty of response from you ladies here in "the Condo".

Check out this video version compliments of "Melissa Carmen" on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. Of course she is gorgeous and  I just love her accent!

Jersey Girls?

According to The Advocate:

On Thursday, the New Jersey senate passed A4097 (previously labeled S2786) by a vote of 21-11. That affirmative vote now sends the bill to Gov. Chris Christie's desk — putting the fate of thousands of transgender people's legal identification in the hands of the Republican governor. If Christie vetoes the bill, it's unlikely that the legislature could override that decision, since state law stipulates that 27 senate votes and 54 general assembly votes are needed to do so. As it A4097 passed through the legislature, it garnered 21 "aye" votes in the senate, and 43 votes in favor in the general assembly.

As law currently stands, individuals born in New Jersey must prove that they have had some form of gender-confirming surgery before they can update their birth record. These surgeries generally cost tens of thousands of dollars, and often are not covered by health insurance, leaving many transgender individuals either unable or unwilling to undergo this method of treatment. Many trans individuals opt to medically transition solely through hormone replacement therapy. As New Jersey law stands currently, those individuals are not able to update their birth certificate. 

Most federal forms of identification can be updated without proof of surgery. Records with the Social Security Administration, U.S. State Department, and Department of Veterans Affairs can updated without any sort of surgery, instead requiring an affidavit from a medical provider that confirms an individual has received appropriate clinical treatment to transition. The discrepancy between the requirements to update various forms of identification can leave many transgender individuals in an unenviable position, where various forms of identification do not match up, leaving these individuals open to increased scrutiny, suspicion of fraud, and nonconsensually being outed as transgender.

For those of us transgender folk who don't see SRS in our future, any of this news is of importance to us. Plus, if indeed New Jersey Gov Chris Christie is going to try to make a presidential run, this would be an early indication if this Republican is going to attempt to broaden his political base or again keep the Republicans in the political dark ages.

"Duck Soup Leftovers"

Good or bad, I'm sure "Duck Boy" Phil of Duck Dynasty didn't spend his Christmas tuned into all of his clans old shows.  I mean what could be better than to celebrate the birth of Jesus with such an enlightening message of brotherhood and love which Phil delivered. In the meantime, more comments continue to roll into Cyrsti's Condo about "Duck Boy"...

"Randie Scott" wrote:

You raise some interesting points. I've never watched Duck Dynasty, most likely never will. My reaction to this whole thing is an employer should not be able to fire someone, or so called suspend, because of a personal belief. On the other hand the press didn't waste anytime running with the ball either. It could very well be a publicity stunt.

And Mandy Sherman:

Until the issue arose, I hadn't even heard of the program, and didn't even know what it was. (I must live a sheltered life.) Our television has never been tuned to DD, and never will. Nor do we now, or plan to in the future, buy or use any of their products (I first noticed the bin of DD hats in a nearby Walgreen's last week...). IMHO, this whole unfortunate dust-up certainly has the strong aroma of a big publicity and ratings stunt. And for that reason, we no longer watch anything on A & E, either... Ladies, vote with your wallet, and your remote control....

I know what you all are thinking.  How long is Cyrsti going to keep beating this "dead duck".  For the present, right now but whoever it is has to know when they enter the public arena, they should not be able to use what pulpit they have to bash gays, lesbians and surely we " invisible"  transgender folks who are tossed in the mix.  I have a very good idea of what Duck Boy Phil can do with one of his duck calls.

Hey, it's America and if he has a right to say it, I have a right to blast him.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be smarter.
Someone will always be younger.
But they will never be you."

Tanni Sattar

Thanks Lynne!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Sarah Revisted

As 2013 comes quickly to an end, it's time to take a look at a couple very positive transgender achievements. One in this post and more to come in others.

Sarah McBride speaks at the signing of Delaware's Gender Identity Nondiscrimination Act, which she helped pass.
Sarah McBride speaking at the passing of the Delaware Gender 
Identity Non Discrimination Act.
The first comes from WAMU 88.5 who has taken a look at Sarah McBride's life a year after she came out as transgender:

There was a time in the not-so-distant past when Sarah McBride believed she had to choose between her dreams and her identity. But nearly two years after coming out as transgender, she not only continues to pursue her goal of working in politics, but she's also achieving it.

The last time Metro Connection interviewed McBride, she had recently come out in a very public manner. After wrapping up her term as American University's student body president, the rising senior wrote an Op-Ed in The Eagle, her school's student-run newspaper. The piece was entitled "The Real Me," and in it McBride, who at that point was still known as "Tim," announced to the AU population what she had kept a secret for years: she's a woman. In the article, she explains that she'd spent years thinking she had to choose between her identity and her dream of being a politician. She rationalized that if she could make life fairer for other people, then the work would be fulfilling enough to overshadow her own internal struggles. 

 "I told myself that if I could make 'Tim' worthwhile for other people by changing the world, that being 'Tim' would be worthwhile," she wrote.

I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo at the time how encouraging it was to see young transgender women and men not running for the stealth closet and making a difference! Read more about Sarah here.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Where Did it Go?

I had an archived post which went live this afternoon which I pulled down.

It was a "cute as a button" Go Elf Yourself video which a friend of mine put together on FaceBook.  I wasn't familiar at all with the concept but the video was hilarious.. I guess the deal is you paste faces on dancing elves and there I was along with a couple other of my genetic friends.

I tried to pull it back up here and got some sort of a weird deal so like I said I deleted it.  I did put it on my Facebook page if you want to go there to see it.

Cyrsti's Condo Christmas "Horrorscope"

What a way to wrap up a busy Christmas Eve and get ready to head to my families house than to pass along yet another "scope" from theFrisky!

Libra : (September 23-October 22): Now is the time to make bigger changes as you declare 2014 to be your breakout year. Not that you need to see your name in lights, but shifting where you lay down roots will be on your mind, as will making things work on your terms. Stop thinking and get to doing, because hesitating is so 2013.

How dynamic is that? Wow! and all this time I thought I continued to make quite a few big changes in 2013. Just between you and me though, I know what this script is saying and I will mention some of them as we actually approach the New Year.

Go here for your scope!

I Just Can't Imagine

Can't imagine the skill which went into this video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. Another Merry Christmas moment! Thanks Lynne for sharing!

We Have Duck Boy Mail

As you have probably noticed, I haven't given the bearded duck call boy much play here in Cyrsti's Condo.  Like I said, what did anyone suspect? All of them are in it for the money anyhow. I've heard them described as "yuppies in beards".  On top of that, there are the believers that any publicity, good or bad, is good publicity. Truthfully, the show never had much of a draw to me anyhow.  As happens so much around here in "the Condo", Pat had a thoughtful comment to pass along:

As for Phil Robertson (Duck Boy) I just started watching Duck Dynasty this week after the controversy blew up. I know that A&E has had the text of the GQ article ever since the original interview some time back and they have had plenty of prior knowledge about Phil's views on religion. Phil refers to himself as a genuine Bible Thumper. All week A&E have been running Duck Dynasty marathons. My theory is that this was a planned publicity stunt. A&E knew that wide scale publication of his views on the Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians would stir up a hornet's nest. If you read his actual words you will find them to be somewhat less than the spin that has appeared in the media. 

I have bought the NY Daily News every day for over 40 years. Last month I was reminded that it had been a real newspaper back in the days when they republished their entire paper from the day after JFK was killed. The headline this week on the front page was "Go Duck Yourself". It has sadly become more of a propaganda rag than a newspaper.

As a side note, recently I had a person who showed up on Facebook with a comment on the show. She   was evidently part of the New York Media elitists and was standing up for good old "Phil".  I agreed with her, he has the right to say what he believes.  Who cares? Don't watch the show, don't buy their products. My warm and fuzzies stopped when she went into a mini side discussion of how "all of them" work so hard to entertain all of us. Really?  "Me thinks" they need to work harder to entertain the faceless minions out here in nowhere land.

I guess my two years in NYC taught me, to many peeps there, the country is a vast wasteland until you get to California.  Many New Yorkers I came in contact with in the restaurant I worked were only barely aware of Texas and tied me into it because of my southern Ohio accent. So I'm with you Pat, it was a planned stunt.  I do know now though that at least in one house where it was watched, it is now banned.

My girlfriend's son was a fan. He may still be but better not get caught watching it.  It's the only recourse we as a transgender culture have, force the media bigots to build their ratings on someone else's back. While I'm on my soap box, I have warned cross dressers in the past to not ignore transgressions such as Phil.  Someday you may change and decide to identify as trans or even gay and life may be easier if you aren't getting smashed in the media.

There, I feel better now!  I'm back in my Christmas eve glow.  Now where are my green elf tights?

Monday, December 23, 2013

What's in a Picture?

Frock Transgender Magazine for transsexuals, crossdressers, drag artistes and all transgendered people everywherePictures or "selfies" in the modern world could mean anything. With the advent of photo shop programs, certainly we can all put our best foot (or face) forward and we don't even have to be a celebrity to do it. If you can afford to do it, professional "photo" businesses can do wonders for us if they know what they are doing.

I'm sure by now you have seen the new blog "banner pix" and it was taken primarily at the request of Katie Glover, the editor of Frock Magazine.  Katie and I have literally for years tried to get together on an article I could write for her magazine.  Proud to say, I finally did it and I will have more info later here in Crysti's Condo. Note!!! I am NOT the cover girl you see on the left.

So, the new picture you see above is simply me. No filters of any kind. What you see is what you get on a sunny winter day in Cincinnati, Ohio.   I have to tell you the process was and is agony for me.  Not looking for support or sympathy here, but I know my 64 year old, been through a bunch of wear and tear male body does not present feminine well often...BUT I do just fine in the world.

My point to all of you is, appearance is not the be all, end all to the transgender transition process.  The other "A" word attitude is right up there too. Pat, around the Condo writes about it too.  When you know yourself and feel secure with yourself, all sorts of fun happenings are possible.

It's a bit early for New Year's resolutions I know.  This year though, make sure you add in a liberal share of thought and ideas for those resolutions for your girl self.  If you are looking to venture out of the closet in 2014 make sure you take her attitude with you!

The Amazing "Brini Maxwell"

Cyrsti's Condo regular Liz just loves Brini Maxwell so here is a video for you Liz on the Condo's big screen:

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Dragging in a Hippo?

I wonder if this guy sent a holiday video out to all his friends of this Christmas Classic? Guess what I learned at college Mom?  Check it out on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Such a week kids!

In our entertainment section, I took a ride on the "A-Train" yesterday.  As some of you know, I'm a huge train buff and yesterday in Cincinnati, my girlfriend and I took in two major holiday model train exhibits.  One was at the beautiful restored "art-deco" masterpiece Union Terminal and the other was in a conservatory.  Needless to say, we had a great time!

Food Review:  Following our long walks around the train exhibits, we built up an honest hunger and decided to try out a place we had not eaten called the "Swampwater Grill".  Both of us have a taste for Cajun cooking way up here in Ohio and didn't know it but we landed up in the right place. (We seriously have a knack for that!)  The "Swampwater" has a nice selection of Cajun dishes and a chef/co-owner from Western Louisiana for all you "purists"! We enjoyed a very unlady like dinner and loved it!

Holiday:  My daughter's family is Jewish so they don't celebrate Christmas and I don't celebrate the Jewish holiday's by mutual consent, so I'm going to break bread with her clan tomorrow before they head out on a mini vacation over Christmas to the nether lands of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.  A chip off the old block, I used to love cold weather before HRT ruined my thermostat.  Christmas Eve and Christmas I spend with my brother's family and then New Year's back in Cincinnati with Liz.

Comment:  You are welcome Alice for your holiday video, I was happy I could find it and thought about you! Thanks for being a regular here in "the Condo" and Happy Holidays!  By the way, I think there are fewer womanless beauty pageants on the web these days because participants know their "talent" will be spread far and wide and perhaps more than a couple don't like it-particularly at the middle school level.

Well, that's it for another "Sunday Edition"! Hard to believe Christmas will have come and gone by the next edition is posted!  In the meantime, we have a couple more neat video's to pass along!

Merry Christmas Alice!

Alice is one of our regular visitors here in Crysti's Condo and I know follows all the womanless beauty pageants with great interest.
This unfortunately is not one of those Alice but yet I thought would be of interest to all of us if this happened in our apartment building and we were not asked to participate!

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Are You "Fracking" Kidding Me?

For a change, one of Paula's fave "news rags" from the UK (just kidding) has come up with an article which hits close to home. "The Telegraph" announced U.S. scientists have found "gender bending" chemicals at fracking sites.

"Frack!!!"  Fracking is becoming a big business here in Ohio, just not close to where I live. So, I guess right now I don't have to worry about going off my HRT meds and just drink more water. Seriously, I'm not making fun of any more chemicals in our water and I have had my own conspiracy theory about those extra chemicals in our food and water.  Not only have they made cancer a huge growth industry, I think there is a distinct possibility chemicals have also expedited the merging of the genders.

I did get a kick out of  the Telegraph telling me  "fracking" wasn't the environmentally friendly process big oil has claimed it would be. Turns out it was my second big epiphany of the week. The first was when I learned "duck call boy" came out as anti-gay. Really?  A ZZ Top lookin bearded redneck from the Louisiana swamp not liking gay folk? What's this world coming to? Then again, I haven't seen many gay or transgender peeps on "Swamp People". Frack! Would an alligator say we tasted like chicken?

I was surprised though that it took the Telegraph to fill me in on the problems.  Must have been a "fracking" slow news day in the UK!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Do not eat toast with wet nails!"  Guess Who?

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

From "Project Runway All Stars Season 3: Nina Discovers The Internet." We discover another stunning transgender model GiGi:
Go here for more!

Friday, December 20, 2013

The "Anti Jerry Springer?"

Jasmine Ford
Let's hope so! You can only hear "I was born a man" or "tranny" so much in the same hour. According to the Miami New Times a new talk show for the transgender "niche" will started on line this week.

 "Jasmine Ford, is lending her voice -- and face -- to Miami's transgender community with her talk show, The Gender Experience. Ford, 41, describes her middle class upbringing in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, as traditional, where topics such as gender disorders were never discussed. She recalls how other children around her would "solidify their gender identity and begin learning and mimicking the appropriate behavior prescribed for their sex." But for her, and others like her, this did not happen. "The popular description of being 'trapped in the wrong body' is an accurate one," says Ford."

The Gender Experience actually premiered last night,  Thursday, December 19, at 10 p.m. on TruRythme.TV. Personal inquires can be made to thegenderexperience@gmail.com, and the live taping will be held at CL Gaskin Center (5525 NW Seventh Ave., Miami).

For more on if you can listen on line and the story go here.

Coming Out to Others

"Coming Out" to the ones you love is one of the most difficult tasks we will undertake and if you are like me, you will try to do it the wrong way. All of us who have come out totally or partially, have run the gamut doing it with a gradual "sit down talk" to a full blown "meet up" at the door in heels and hose...intended or accidental. Whatever the case, a genetic woman is going to "categorize" exactly what "Coming Out" means to them. More than a few immediately begin looking for a divorce lawyer but then again many don't.  Take this recent Cyrsti's Condo comment from Pat as an example:

  "The other night at dinner my wife passed me a nice comment about the cleavage that I had created as I sat across from her at the table. Just one more joy of being able to cherish my gender issues."

Obviously, Pat and I both were "out" to our wives, which I know isn't so common in the cross dresser / transgender world. For whatever reason, more than a few women refuse to accept "their man" in a pair of panties, let alone full feminine attire. As I have written numerous times my wife did not have any problems with me being a cross dresser. She couldn't. She knew from day one.  Done deal, who cared, worse problems. However, her life was good with me as a crossdresser not as a transgender woman. Which I understood In all fairness to myself though,  I didn't really know how I identified for much of our marriage and transgender was just a little known word. As I began to consider I was much more than a cross dresser,  I never wanted to admit it to her and my whole situation became one of "trust". I didn't love her enough to trust her with the knowledge even though both of us knew it would be the end of our relationship.  As we all know trust is the very glue which holds a relationship together.

Over the years, I have had numerous people ask me how I came out to the people I did.  The brutal truth is I have only came out as transgender to my daughter and a couple other friends who pretty much wrote me off. (one did-one almost did).  For the record, I have never came out as transgender to a male but have as a cross dresser. Why?  I think most certainly telling someone you have this "thing" about wanting to wear feminine things is easier than telling someone you want to be one of those feminine things. You are jumping "camps" and men immediately distrust you for wanting to and women wonder why you want to jump on board their bandwagon.

All the problems are compounded of course by being in a relationship which may even involve children.   An important point to remember when telling a spouse is she may not think your gender issue is a bigger deal than the trust issue which came hand in hand with it.  Specifically, how long has this been going on and why was she the last to know?  When and if you can seal this wound, then it's extremely wise to tell your whole gender story.  Don't be like me and say "a day or two a week living as a woman was cool when I was thinking about HRT."  It was about that time in our relationship when my wife laid down the infamous line "be man enough to be a woman and stop the torment for both of us."

I have no scientific stats to back this up but I think the younger generation is doing a better job of accepting relationships where one of the partners is trans.  At least I hope it's the case.  In the meantime, my best advice to those seeking to come out to love ones, don't get sidetracked by thinking they will get "freaked" by your gender choices.  They may already have figured it out or will get hurt by the fact you didn't trust them enough to tell them.

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

Canadian transgender Model Jenna Talackova continues to impress with an Elle Canada spread. Her reality show called "Brave New Girl" (reportedly) is still in the works.

Go here to Elle Canada for more.

Jenna Talackova: Biography of a transgender model

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Would You Bring You Home for Christmas?

Over the years here in Cyrsti's Condo, we have discussed the role of admirers (men who are attracted to transgender women for whatever reason) and even why more men aren't. When and if you can toss out the sexual aspect of a man with a transgender woman, the possibilities are endless.  Without going into a whole lot of detail, at the least we bring a totally different perspective into a man's life.  I have known many men over the span of my life who never totally got along with women.  Didn't trust them, couldn't communicate with them, their life was a gender stand off until many just said "to hell with it" and split up later in life.

Many of you have read me refer to an old cross dressing friend from the 1980's I'm still in touch with. We have debated this topic in depth on several occasions, especially around the holidays. We follow the exploits of several transgender or cross dresser women out on dates with their boyfriends and comment.  He is more conservative than I and thinks the video's are nothing more than a validation ploy to make the less than attractive woman seem more successful in the world.  On the other hand, I told him I don't see why more men don't date transgender women.  We offer much more than looks and many of us believe in the fading traditional feminine roles men covet,  but we are extremely difficult to find.

His final word always is "would you as a guy bring  you as a woman home to your family over the years." Good point!  I always hate it when someone puts me into a discussion corner but he is right. Every fiber of my being wants to stand up and say sure when truthfully I know I wouldn't.  But that's OK.  If I was dating a guy, I would understand. When and if he ever thought meeting the family was important to him, I would go as I went to my girlfriends holidays.

Being the woman I am though, I did have to have the last word.  I told him, with my male background I would understand why a guy would feel that way.  That alone, gives me more than a slight edge on most genetic women.

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

Considered as the "Legend" of Eastern Media Group, Regine Wu, or Li Jing in Chinese, was born on October 25, 1962 in Taiwan. Born as a boy named Wu Zhongming, she underwent surgery and became a girl when she was 22 years old. Differing with other transsexual entertainers, Wu has always denied she had a sex change operation, claiming that she was born as a hermaphrodite with organs of both sexes and the ability to give birth. Regine Wu,one of the 'Top 10 transsexual entertainers in Asia'by China.org.cn.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I'm Such a Boob!

I have written here in Cyrsti's Condo too much lately about my bra shopping trip recently.  What I didn't mention was how I planned to "fill" my purchase.

Last night, Liz and I were planning to go see her Dad, grocery shop and run a few other errands. I have a low cut long black sweater I was planning to wear, so I figured it was time to "play" with my new bra. It's a "C" cup and I'm only a full "A" with the effects of HRT.  The "B" turned out to be a bitch to fill.  With the bra, I also bought a pair of small inserts to fill out my "C" bra which turned out to not be enough to work.

At my size, I need a full "C" or "D" to fill out my fashion needs plus I feel breasts are one of the top three tools to a successful presentation.  I don't have a visible Adam's Apple to speak of (no pun intended) but do have a short thick neck.  I need a "V" neck top to add a longer line to my upper torso look.  Any cleavage I can add helps me present feminine with less problems plus if a person is in the middle reading me as a transgender woman, breasts may put me over the top but I digress.

I still needed "fill" to go to a full "C".  I didn't want to resort to going back to my "D" silicone breast forms but I did.  Turned out to be a good move.  The only thing I sacrificed was my pride.  My new bra was an under wire push up model so between my natural breast growth and the inserts, I was easily able to achieve a realistic breast look. Specifically when I bent over at all.  I was happy, my girls weren't all mine of course but anymore more, who knows how many genetic women aren't playing the same game?

Once again I wondered "what took me so long, you boob!"

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Kamolrose Thunphirom  a transsexual model from Thailand stops by the "Condo".

Kamolrose Thunphirom is a transsexual model from Thailand

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

"Tula" Bond Transgender Woman Classic

Back in the day, there were talk shows  (even Springer and Maury) which took a fairly serious look at the world and the people in it.  One was Caroline Cossey (Tula) the beautiful transgender model and actress who made an appearance as a Bond "007" girl.  This video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen goes into her life after she was "outed"

"Power Play"

It's no big secret or revelation the genders operate on a vastly different playing level when power is involved. Men migrate to teams and alpha males, women towards cliques and a passive aggressive life. Each are very effective in their own ways but often cause serious problems between the binary genders. As far as we transgender folks go of course, we have a whole different set of "power settings".

Beck in November 2012Most of us are very familiar with the male power structure and "put up the good fight".  We went the "macho" route as we struggled to find our gender identity.  The best example is former Navy Seal transsexual woman  Kristen Beck (right) who really pursued a macho profession. (A reason so many service members are transgender)  I played the game well too.  I was a defensive end in football, served my time in the Army and generally was regarded as a macho guy. The problem was though I enjoyed interaction with women more than men and felt more natural. As with other things in my life, it took me years and a ton of thought to have ideas why.

Amazingly to me, I came up with a whole new consideration of my gender social preferences after I wrote the "Problem" post here in Cyrsti's Condo.

 If you identify as a cross dresser, transgender or transsexual, chances are you have always been more comfortable with women rather than men also.  I know there are many reasons we do but I began to wonder if gender power issues played a role?  We must feel more comfortable away from the macho lifestyle. I'm was naive though and found the feminine power set up was not the "peaches and cream" style most men think it is and acceptance wasn't an automatic just because I tossed on a wig and dress.

When I actually started to transition, women put me in a special category of sorts which fit my transgender status.  I was neither a genetic woman or a genetic man.  As such it took awhile to be included to the fullest but when I was, I learned quickly the women's passive aggressive power structure to it's fullest. But I can't tell you I have learned to react as a woman.  Relearning a basic male power system has not been an easy process and before all of this, I believed I liked the girls sandbox because they only talked about neat things such as clothes, makeup and family. Plus they were so nice! Ha!

The important part is I'm flourishing in the feminine system and I love the process. I find the passive aggressive nature is an art form. But more and more, if I have to play, somehow I know I was born to do it. Just don't look for me to do it directly- or to your face.  You are just going to have to figure it out on your own- later.

Fortunately, no one was mean to me at the party and I didn't have to play any power games. I just did my nails before I went and was ready!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Felipa TavaresSix -foot-tall FelipaTavares is among Brazil's small but growing ranks of transgender models — leggy, high-cheekboned sirens who were born men and are causing a splash in Brazil  and other  international fashion capitals around the world.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Cyrsti's Condo "Horror Scope"

Dammit! My stars are still in a rut with my scope: So, I'm not really happy to share this one with the rest of you Libra's.  But here it goes:

Libra (September 23-October 22): When it comes to romance, someone’s going to be a real stick in the mud —either you, your boo or both. Yes, moodiness will abound in a way that can get dark, so, it’d be in your best interest to stay in your own corner and keep it light. Get lost in a crowd, avoid places with privacy, or otherwise, a claustrophobic week it can be.

I can only say, I have a very difficult time getting lost in a crowd and I hope the mud I get stuck in isn't too deep and ruins my boots!

Of course, all of you have "scopes" too and you can go here to theFrisky to read them.


Two ladies commented on the Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition Post".  "Billie" commented the evening must have been wonderful, but asked where was the "problem" I mentioned.
The "problem" was simply one of "habit".  As I struggled to learn more and more of what this feminine life is really all about, it was tough.  Of course, the whole process of dressing yourself, moving correctly and interacting with the public was tough enough.  As difficult though, was having to accomplish the task in "bits and pieces".  I resorted to one to three days a week living as much feminine life as I could.  Naturally, I would lose much of what I learned when I lived as a guy again then started all over.

My problem now is, I have flashbacks to those days.  The rare times from my past when everything seemed to be "working" and I felt good as a woman, I really began to relax, enjoy myself and invariably slip back into male habits.  I had to constantly remind myself of which gender role I was occupying at the time.

I found myself "reminding myself" of the same habits at the party.  The problem is the process really disrupts me being me.  I know I'm relatively outgoing and I enjoy the process more as a woman.  For the most part, men still don't migrate towards me but women do and I enjoy the interaction.  Women of course are naturally curious and want to learn more about what makes me tick so the process works well.

The "problem" becomes when I start "thinking" about the process. When and if any of my male past slips through to my personality, so what?  He has been part of me for so long.  The transgender mix which defines me makes me what I am.

The incredible process I'm going through now, of course is tipping my gender scales more to the feminine side.  I should worry less and less about who I was but ironically now HRT has made worrying about less a bigger force in my life so worrying needlessly about problems such as this comes with the territory?

On a lighter side, Wendy commented about buying a bra as a guy and the register person calling for a "Wonder Bra" price check!  The ultimate in making an embarrassing situation worse!  Another little hint I learned yesterday was a bra made by the same company doesn't necessarily means it will fit the same!

Thanks ladies for the comments!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman of the Day"

From Wikipedia:" Kelly Shore (born April 19, 1982, New Orleans, Louisiana, United States) is an American transsexual pornographic actor and activist. In late 2010 she retired from the adult industry and made a return with her husband under the name Kelly Pierce in 2011 earning her a 2012 Xbiz Awards Nomination.

Shore began fighting for LGBT rights in 1996 starting with herself. She fought to be allowed to attend high school as a female after her mother was diagnosed with cancer and was no longer able to teach Shore from home. Shore's biggest role was serving as secretary and volunteer coordinator of St. Pete Pride in 2006. She continues to help the LGBT community through her writings and standing as a voice in for her community in the adult industry."

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Socialite Section":
Last night I went to my girlfriend's company Christmas Party.  Before you begin thinking of all the fancy seasonal dresses on the women in the room, the get together was very informal with bunches of kids, so I wore a patterned 3/4 length top, leggings and boots.

What was very special to me was I was introduced as "her girlfriend" to all her co-workers and bosses.  She takes it for granted but I know how utterly rare acceptance such as that is.  It was also very cool none of the other attendees I was introduced to seemed to care less if I was transgender, genetic, Martian or whatever.

I know several of you regular "partiers" here in the "Condo" want to know my choice of beverage. The party was actually in a suburb of Cincinnati and "the Nati" is developing quite a nice selection of locally brewed "craft beers". One of which is Rivertown Brewery, the bar where the party was featured a Rivertown Christmas Ale which had just a touch of a cinnamon flavor and went down very easily.  No cheap shots...I do have standards and I'm not a beer snob like some I know (Racquel and my daughter).  At any rate, several asked what we were drinking and I recommended it.  Turns out, the beer was gender specific to a degree.  The women liked it and one guy sort of said "well it is a girl's beer".  Interesting.

I had a fabulous time and a designated driver, so life was good!  My problem was even I began to take the experience for granted.  Every time, I do that, I have found I open myself up for problems!

Fashion Section:  For the first time ever I went shopping for a bra with a genetic woman, my girlfriend.  I wish I could tell you HRT is magically increasing my breast size and of course it is, but I'm still in an "in between" area of being too thick for my cup size.  Which means I need a bra in the 42 B cup range.  I took three into the dressing room and found one after I tried them on. So, regardless of my frustration, we found a moderately priced bra which will work with my natural "girls" and small inserts.  In the future, the plan is to move up into more comfortable, expensive models and hopefully fill them out better!  The best part of the short shopping trip was not having to look over my shoulder wondering why a guy was in the bra section or the cashier eyeing me when I checked out.

That's it for this week's Cyrsti's Condo Sunday edition!  Thanks for picking up a copy.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

 Stanyslas Fedyanin, a 16-year-old guy from Moscow, Russia, who has gained notoriety for his very successful career as an international female body. Stas, as he likes to be called, says he is heterosexual, and even has a girlfriend, he just has an androgynous figure that makes him perfect for female modelling.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Christmas Shopping till you Drop

Let's place this post in the "doing the right thing for the wrong reason" category.  As you regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know, I seized every opportunity to break a deal I had with my wife and get out of the house cross dressed as a woman.

As Christmas rolled around every year, I found the ideal way to get out for a day and do her shopping, as a woman.  She didn't suspect anything and I had the money and time to buy her gifts. Once I figured out the need for comfort in my footware and didn't do anything crazy in heels, the shopping world was mine for the taking. Shopping was always the easiest way for me to get out of the closet and navigate the world as a woman.  Stores liked me because I was green ( as in money) and if anything, when and if I was read as transgender, I was merely a break from a staff's boring day with the public.

Most of my experiences were rather mundane, but a couple do stick out in my mind so many years later.  I will call this one "the case of the bulky blond".

"Back in the day", my wife worked as a full charge book keeper and we were building a home office for her.  We began with a oak roll top desk, added a file cabinet and as Christmas rolled around that year, I decided to add a book case for her.  I knew exactly what I wanted and where it was but dare I got buy it as a woman?  You all know the answer, of course I did.

I had a black pants suit I dearly loved which I teamed up with a pair of black flats and my long blond straight wig. I finished off my upscale professional woman look with a light overcoat I bought.  Needless to say, professional look or not, I was scared to death when I went into the furniture store.  After what seemed like an eternity, a salesman came up and asked if he could help me.  In what I hope passed as my best soft feminine voice (instead of a frog)  I told him what I wanted and bought it. So far, so good-no whispers, giggles or anything.  Only the final huge question, "what did I want it loaded in."  The question itself of course wasn't having the vehicle, it was who was going to load it? 

For the first time in my life, I stood back and let two men treat me like a girl and loaded my purchase.  Quite the experience to be sure!  They politely thanked me and sent me on my way with my purchase.  I made sure I returned the thanks, wished them a Happy Holiday and headed on my way, but not before I managed to sweep my long blond hair off my shoulders as I slid into the car. From that point on I knew life couldn't never be the same again.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Exy Davis stops by "the Condo" Exy is described as an androgynous male/female model.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Esteem versus Vanity

On occasion I think (no, I know)  I spend too much time thinking of my transition process.  I suppose when you attempt something as major as changing your gender, introspection is a natural by product.
Those of you who are regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo know I'm currently in the middle of a total full time immersion as a woman.  My nearest male clothes are over 150 miles away.

I have written recently about upping my game of trying to look better-naturally.  As I was doing my errands today and checked my appearance when I got back, it occurred to me I was checking my self esteem in the mirror not my vanity.  Certainly, I would love to be a stunningly attractive beauty when I head out into the world, not stun others with my appearance. We all know the beauty part is going to have to wait until another life but not being a human "stun gun" isn't.

Taking this idea to a whole deeper level, I realized I was crossing yet another cross dresser / transgender point in my life.  Being the often "clue less" person I am, I dazzle myself with these little epiphanies of mine. Then again, I entertain easily. This is what I came up with:

As a cross dresser, I lived in the mirror. As a transgender woman, I live in the world, the only real mirror that matters. Now,  in order to survive, I desperately need my self esteem as a woman.  The vanity part of me will always exist and screams for facial feminizing surgery and breast augmentation. But, more importantly, I'm finding esteem is the key to my existence.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

From Russia with Love

From the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:


Hitting the wall is a very popular term or the "glass ceiling" is good too.  Whatever term you want to put to it, I've very much reached the transition wall.

It's not surprising.  In many ways, the last five years of my life have been an incredible blur.  The initial decision I made to live a feminine life and then start HRT was tumultuous enough but nothing compared to the feminine socialization process which followed. Much of which formed the very basis of Cyrsti's Condo.
I was already an adrenaline junkie from my job as a high volume restaurant manager, so in many ways I craved the expectation of what was "coming next" in a life I waited 50 years to live. But now, life seems to being slowing down and to quote an old song "kicks just keep getting harder to find" and I know the reason.
I was warned by a person years ago who asked the simple question, "what kind of everyday woman would I be when I went out to face the world?"  Simple answer, right?  Not so fast kids.  My perception was I would not be the slobby women I see where I live so often.  As it turns out, not only do I not want to be one of them, I can't be. To have a chance of navigating the world in a completely new living situation as a transgender women, I found again I better get to work increasing my presentation skill level. Think of it this way, I have to look better and not look like I'm trying. All the time.  I'm not whining though, I knew  this is what I signed up for. Just have to get used to it.

Perhaps you noticed I wrote "in a completely new living situation."  What I mean is, for the last week or so, I have been totally and completely full time.  To me, I became more than a little intimidated especially following the gender slur in the tavern last week.  Dare I say, it took me a couple days to get my "swagger" back.  Swagger (attitude) to me is at least 70% of presentation but I also did what most other genetic women would do, I started to work on my makeup basics again.
I'm happy to say, I'm reclaiming my equilibrium and making major strides towards moving in with my girlfriend-who for the record, rejects any of my remaining maleness and has not kicked me out yet for any number of my personality issues I have listed here in the "Condo".  In fact, when we visited her Dad in the hospital last night (he is getting better) the nurse said "you ladies have a good night" to us as she left the room.  Music to my ears!

So I guess the future is now and the wall is part of it.  As with any climbing experience, slips and slides do occur and that is just part of the process.  It's a good thing I don't wear heels often, I need all the climbing help I can get!

Cyrsti's Condo "Woman of the Day"

Amiyah Scott, born 'Arthur Scott', photoed as both right. Rumored to have dated several high profile rappers, singers [to allegedly include Trey Songz] & athletes, Amiyah is the official 'it' girl transgender on the scene.   

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Transgender Journey to Discovery

This video shows the torment young transgender women go through and the steps taken to try to "relieve" the problem.  Don't expect an "amazing" transition here...expect reality.  Check it out for yourself on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

We Got Mail!

Mandy commented on my "not so pleasant" recent experience with three guys who called me a she male as well as making general obscene fools of themselves:

Sorry to hear of the issue you experienced... Yes, there are a bunch of nasty folks out there...and we all hope that their paths never cross ours. But the more we live our lives the way we want to, the greater that chance... I know my best efforts at presenting as a woman are still way "short of the mark" and anyhoo, I spend most of my time in androgynous mode. So I make an effort to steer clear of any venues where idle groups of inebriated males could exhibit "juvenile behavior" because of group courage. (Translation - bars and taverns.) Yes, I know - I miss a lot of fun times that way. But the benefit is, it sort of shields me from the less pleasant aspect of being transgender, which unfortunately is harassment. You absolutely did the right thing by leaving. I'd have done the same... But now, as you said, move on. Better days will come. Mandy

Thanks Mandy!  You are absolutely correct about  not putting yourself in the wrong spot at the wrong time as a transgender woman.  Genetic women are well versed in the potential problems! On the other hand, this situation surprised me because I had done my homework. I was with my girlfriend, in a place we were familiar with.  The clientele was older and mellow and the food in the place was good "pub food".  The mistake was we were there a little later than we had ever been there before.  The bottom line is though, we as transgender women can never be sure of possible public situations and have to be aware at all times.

For the sake of discussion, here are my rules of thumb in a possible confrontation:

1.-Size it up.  Is there a chance of a physical confrontation?
2.-Embarrassment? Am I at risk of embarrassing friends that are with me or a place that I have been welcomed in the past? The absolute last thing I want to happen is for them to be brought into a problem I caused. I'm a big girl in more ways than one.
3.-Education. Is it possible to educate my harassers and let them know what I'm doing is not just a "hobby"? I just don't go and throw on a dress as a lark.
4.-Leave with dignity and never let them know how badly they have hurt me.

The problem with these situations are, they are similar to quicksand. You can get in over your head before you know it and have to be so careful!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

In honor of the "Victoria Secret" Fashion Show, here are a couple of future possibilities of the first transgender women models:
First,   Amelia Maltepe, a transsexual model from Toronto by way of Bangladesh.

And of course, Carmen Carrera, who is reportedly already set for an audition next year.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Kostantin Minarev, male androgynous model, stops by "the Condo"

Cyrsti's Gondo "Horror Scope"

Here we go kids! Your weekly scopes, or should I say "weakly?"

Libra, (September 23-October 22): Not everything has to be art. If your fairy tale isn’t rolling out the way you like, don’t get manic. There are going to be a few bumps in the road, but nothing you can’t handle. The good news: Once you get into the groove of rewriting the plot, you’ll find there is much more material to make something real out of.

I'm not going to even touch the fairy tale comment except to say, maybe getting called a  She Male the other night does constitute one of the "bumps in the road". I do like the "rewrite" angle because I essentially feel I have "hit the wall" as far as my transition goes!

As always you can go to theFrisky for your scope.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

This week's edition will be definitely be a different one due the week's activity around here in the "Condo".

In the travel section I already touched on the fact I have been a traveling girl for most of the week and one of the spots you don't really want to drive all over in a ice/sleet/snow storm is hilly Cincinnati, Ohio.  But we all survived, including my car.

In a "Sports Section" update,  my Bengals helped sooth the pain of my Buckeyes tanking the BigTen Championship game last night by winning big today.  As I have written continually, the Buckeye's have provided many good memories and the Bengals, tons of bad during my life.

In the Fashion Section, today turned out to be an early Christmas treat for me.  My girlfriend has mentioned a number of times of how she used to be an Avon consultant.  Today, I just happened to notice two nice aluminum fold out cases.  I asked what they were for and was told they were makeup training cases.  I said Really? and asked if they were both empty.  Turns out, one wasn't and one was and the fun started.

Yesterday she colored my hair into more of a golden brown from the highlighted red it was...so...of course we had to play with new makeup shades from the case to match my hair. The bad news was my small makeup bag I brought with me was too full for everything. The good news was, I had a bigger bag with me. Most certainly I will do quite a bit of experimentation this week with the new shades before next weekend's company Christmas where she works.

That's it for our Sunday Edition! Thanks for browsing.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Kristian Ruscitti lives in Portland OR and does modeling work around the world. She is a transgender Italian/American model/make up artist and has been in the fashion/beauty industry for nearly 20 years, beginning at the age of 19 as a designer fashion runway and print model in Milan, Italy.

Not Fun

It was bound to happen, as we all know, life is not all kicks and giggles.

The weekend began innocently enough. I packed up my dog and we made the two hour trip to Cincinnati to spend and extended weekend with Liz.  Of course Thursday, I was running slightly ahead of yet another super storm spreading across the country.  All I had to deal with was rain.  Friday we had a mix of every winter moisture Mother Nature could come with...UGLY.

Saturday, we relaxed and worked around the house until it was game time and we headed out to her nearby neighborhood tavern to watch my Buckeyes LOSE.  It has always been an idea I could never wrap my mind around...but last night, they simply got out played.  However, we were enjoying each other until  drunk guy #1 shows up at our end of the bar and begins to stare...at me.  Of course I knew he wasn't placing me at the top of the most desirable women he had ever seen list.  Then, it got worse. Drunk guy #2 appeared and drunk guy #3.

I suppose these guys were 30 somethings going on  junior high.  They were whispering to each other  and pretty much making obscene jerks of themselves and of course making both of us very uncomfortable.  I even think for the first time I can remember I was called "she male" for the first time.  Of course, by this time we had it with their juvenile trashy behavior, collected our things and left.

Wow, reality struck home and today I am forced to lick my wounds, reassess reality and get back into this transgender game.

Reality is, I'm not at the point {and may never be} that I present to the world as a genetic woman.  But that is OK, I have faced that reality forever. I have found though, I can navigate the world as a transgender woman if I work at it.  I'm not so sure anything I could have done would have tossed the idiots off their game. On the other hand, I do think I went too casual with dress and makeup.  Then again, the law of percentages simply caught up with me since the two couples before the idiots were perfectly delightful.

Lesson?  Do what I always have.  Hitch up my big girl panties and move on.  I hope the juveniles have major hangovers this morning though. I don't!

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Yasmin Lee was born on June 3, 1983. She is an American transsexual film actress and model. She is of Thai, Cambodian, Chinese, and Brazilian heritage. Her family moved from Thailand to the Philippines before finally settling down in Orange County, California.

Most recently you may remember from her role in the 2011 hit comedy The Hangover Part II.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Freezer Pop

For once it seems the Farmer's Almanac is correct, we here in Ohio at least, are headed for the worst winter since T Rex ruled here. Of course the almanac has been rumored to have called for winters such as this since T Rex was an egg somewhere...Dammit!  Yes, now I can feel better about my limited colorful vocabulary since Ohioans were voted to use the most cuss words in the country! Hey, number one is number one &#@%#.

Anyhow,back to winter. Used to enjoy it. Used to want to vacation on the balmy winter beaches of  Lake Superior...no more.  Relax, I'm not going to cut loose with an 'Ohio Proud' string of cuss words.  Instead, I'm going to blame three little letters - H.R.T.

I'm fond of reminding cross dressers and transgender women alike, when your daughter or spouse tells you to go put more clothes on a cold day, she may be being more helpful than you think. Women are cold critters and when you go messing with your gender hormones, out goes the old furnace and in comes the walk in freezer. She may just mean you better put some more clothes on

Since I'm really tired of being told "welcome to our world" by genetic women, I simply think, "this is what I signed up for but why is it so dammed cold?"
Other than the obvious ways to fend off the winter chills, I have discovered another way to feel warmer. Just whine about it. No one listens anyhow and it makes me feel better!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Miriam Rivera was born in circa on 1981. She is a Mexican transsexual woman who appeared on the reality television shows There's Something About Miriam and Big Brother Australia 2004.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Cyrsti's Condo "Fashion Tip"

I'm sure many of us remember the old fashion days of leather pants and skirts etc.

As with everything else in fashion, they are back and the question now as then, can we, should we wear them?

Here's a look from Fabulous after 40 's fashion expert Deborah Boland  who answered my questions.

It’s been many years since I’ve worn leather pants, but a few weeks ago I was out shopping and spotted a pair of luxurious, leather leggings that got me really excited. My first thought was, ”Could I, should I, wear leather leggings now I’m over 50?” In less than 10 minutes I was in and out of the dressing room, handing over my credit card, and feeling pretty triumphant about my new purchase.

Similar to her, I wear a lot of black leggings and skinny jeans but I have reservations about buying a pair of (faux) leather leggings for fear of looking "over the top". But, "here's the 'skinny' on a few tips for how to wear black leather leggings from Deborah. Very simply, it all depends on what you wear your leggings with. The problem is, for all of us who are struggle to become comfortable with all this "girl" stuff, nothing is simple.  Read on for help:

 DO wear your leggings with:

Tops that flow and are not too tight so the silhouette is wider,
Looser on top and narrow, skinny on the bottom tops that end below your hip bones ( minimum) and even better that cover your bum,
Longer cozy loose slightly oversized sweaters narrow cut ( but not tight) blouses and shirts tunic dresses or tops
Blazers layered with a long top or sweater underneath sporty and classic pieces

DO NOT wear with:

Tops that are too short, tops that are too tight, tops that are flimsy and see through.
Very sexy tops with deep V-necks and cutouts.
Tall, high-heeled leather boots anything with biker gang looking buckles, studs and chains.

There are more DO NOTS, and as I read them, I suddenly wondered did Deborah write them for us?

NEVER wear the leggings (or anything else for that matter with:)

Too much glitz and shiny cheap fabrics.
Too much jewelry or too many accessories.
Piles of make-up.
Big hair.

There is more, follow the link above!

Cha-ch Changes

  Vote BLUE! After many years of keeping the blog title the same, I have decided to modernize it to reflect the name I adopted as my legal m...