Sunday, June 30, 2013

Cross Dressing Flashbacks

"Back in the day" it seemed to be cruel and unusual punishment to me when I would "encounter" different television shows or movies which involved any cross dressing or transvestite themes. An example would be when the "Tootsie" movie release set off a chain reaction of response from the then multitude of talk shows.  Grae Phillips was one who was "discovered" as a real live Tootsie.

I was desperately trying to squash any idea of my feminine gender leanings and none of this did me any good.

NIck Endres
Thank goodness I'm past that point in my life, so now when I get bombarded with a bunch of weekend shows mixed with a nice cross dressing blend. It's no big deal-unless I see something really bad or good.

 I already mentioned Chef Roble and B.Scott in a previous post I liked and then again there was another episode of SheZow where a cartoon boy touches his ring and changes into a super hero- a feminine one. I have no real idea of why this is on. Then,  I caught an episode of Sullivan & Son.  It is your basic mindless mildly comedic show based in a bar which just happened to institute a "Ladie's Night" As it turned out though, Nick Endres showed up as a Filapina lady boy (their terms) and attracted the attention of one of the older more conservative patrons.

Of course by then, I stayed around to check out the action. It was normal. Man attracted to cross dresser in straight venue. Cross dresser goes in men's room to pee standing up.  Friends tell man he is dancing with a cross dresser.  Man is shocked and recoils but at least comes back to finish the dance...sort of. Yawn!!! If you care follow the link above.

Finally, I found karma wasn't done with her wave of mediocre input. This morning, I woke up to a movie from the 30's (I think) which had a short scene of a guy impersonating a non existent French actress. (not well)

I will let you know when this "run" is over!

Incredible Trans Video

I think this is an outstanding transgender transition video because of the emphasis on lifestyle as well as appearance changes:


Catering for a Queen

The Bravo Television Network has a show built around a young cater called Chef Roble. I always have liked the show because it portrays the trials and tribulations of catering on any level.

If you have chance check out this episode called "Too Hot to Handle" as Chef RoblĂ© takes a bigger bite than he can chew off when he caters a party with an androgynous-themed menu for Internet celebrity, B. Scott. (right)

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Quote of the Day

"Women are forced to collaborate even in competition, and it is that aspect that I admire...."


Finding a Transgender Friendly Place

Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with  complex answers I can't even follow.

Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there."

I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!"

Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules:

One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.  The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place.  They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that!

Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant.  You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime.

Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points:

1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start.
2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation.  You will indeed make a good impression.
3.-Go Back.  Maybe not common sense but a good point.  If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations.
4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way. When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.

Last but certainly not least, rest room and dressing room usage.

Very iffy and very sensitive.  Too big of a subject to be covered here except to say I do have one definite standard. When I'm a great regular customer in the places I go-I can get my restroom privileges. Employees and managers get used to me using the women's room.  BUT any "civilian" (not an employee) can change that in an instant with a complaint.  The last thing I want to do is cause a scene. Years ago a male manager at one of my regular haunts revoked my rest room card.  I simply went up the street and established myself at a competitor.  About 6 months later, he got fired and a few of the employees who were still there came and invited me back. How nice was that?

Finally, YOU have the power to enable a place to become transgender friendly.  Just don't go dressing all crazy, acting like an idiot and being a poor citizen. You will just ruin it for all of us.

Passing Through

So I'm "older"- more mature is a kinder term and can't remember if I passed along this video before on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen, but it's worth another look:

Friday, June 28, 2013

Walt's Not So Excellent Adventure

I watched a video this morning which I will pass a link along to which has a guy (Walt)  who went through the surgery, lived as a woman for a time and decided he made a mistake and changed back. To each his own, and people do make mistakes but I wonder how that epic mistake happens? I can only think there was some sort of disconnect in the gender socialization process.

I have not researched it, but I understand the reputable SRS surgeons and clinics still require some sort of history living as your chosen gender-before going under the knife. I'm under the impression that those in the know are calling the process gender socialization. From personal experience it is a fascinating and sometimes scary experience when you go from presenting as a woman versus being socialized as one. I just know I will go to my grave loving it. But that's just "not so little ol me".

Of course it 's possible to go out dressed as a woman and present yourself successfully and think Yay! I'm a girl Woo Hoo! It's also very possible to do it as essentially a stealth cross dresser. Not a problem in the world unless you begin to believe you can shortcut the socialization process in the girls sandbox. The worst place to attempt a stunt like that. You will find out quickly which gender isn't the "sugar & spice" one.

After all, who needs all that sand kicked in your face?   Everyone will have to accept me as a woman after my SRS...Right?  Not so fast happy campers, there is that one pesky problem-gender does not live between your legs and to my knowledge can not be operated into our brains.

By jumping ahead in the socialization process, you simply miss key yes or no moments.  Examples you have read me write about here in Cyrsti's Condo are the feminine communication process and the intricacies of fitting into female social circles.  Even in my very gray orientated mind...they are black and white learning experiences. You want to belong or you don't.  Plus of course I'm just scratching the surface.

By paraphrasing Walt one more time he says something to the extent you can't fix a psychological problem with surgery DUH! He is totally correct and I'm fairly sure SRS does not include a lobotomy, for a good reason. (I know what you are thinking you need to add- not subtract to a male brain ) It has been fairly well documented these days that gender identity issues are not psychological problems. But I agree, one could develop if the person involved is not free to explore their feelings- as Walt surely wasn't.

At this point, every bone in my body is screaming "don't be snarky Crysti" and write what you are thinking.  Since bones can't scream anyway- who the hell wants to hear from a person who made a fairly major mistake with his life and still has no idea why?

Why didn't he tell the truth and just say- look I'm just a cross dresser, got a sex change  and then went through the ultimate purge to be with a woman who just can't image my past. Understood!!!!

Ahhh! I feel better now!

Here's your link here to "Crossover Kids" other than "Walter" it's a good piece.

No Gizzards-make mine Bigots

From Yahoo News:

" The president of the fast-food restaurant chain Chick-fil-A has once again injected himself into the gay marriage debate, this time criticizing U.S. Supreme Court rulings. Dan Cathy posted a comment Wednesday on Twitter criticizing a pair of U.S. Supreme Court rulings. Those decisions will extend federal recognition to same-sex marriages in the states where they are legal, and will add California — the most populous state — to the 12 others in that category. "Sad day for our nation; founding fathers would be ashamed of our gen. to abandon wisdom of the ages re: cornerstone of strong societies," Cathy wrote, according to The Atlanta Journal-Constitution ( ). The post was later deleted. Chick-fil-A issued a statement acknowledging the post, saying Cathy was offering a personal comment. "Dan recognizes his views do not necessarily represent the views of all Chick-fil-A customers, restaurant owners and employees, so he removed the tweet to eliminate any confusion," the company said."

Why did the chicken bigot delete the text? My car has shown it can drive right by any of his units and right to his competition.

Walk a Mile in Our Shoes!

I wonder if this woman will have any empathy for transgender women and men now?

More "A" Word

Angel sent a great comment to our fancy mailbox here at Cyrsti's Condo about my  androgyny post:

"Believe it or not, you aren't the only trans person I've heard of this happening to. Androgyny seems to make people uneasy... not sure why, but it seems to be true."

Being the armchair social observer that I am Angel, could it be an androgynous person stirs up more feelings of insecurity in many people than trans people do?

If you hang your bra on the idea the gender binary is a major part of the very basis of human socialization - you really mess with their minds. If they can read you as a transgender woman or man at least they can find something to understand. In that case, positive or negative, the noggin is churning out some sort of reaction.

No matter how the Saturday Night Live "Pat" skits may have been politically incorrect, they pretty much hit the nail on the head of how unnerving an adrogynous person can be to the general public.

Thanks Angel!!!!

For you "youngsters" I'm passing along a SNL clip on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Some Are More Visible than Others!

Check out this video of recently arrested trans activist Lexi Sanfino (for doing a protest topless dance on a flight) on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Long Hair and the Trans Girl

As recently as my last post here in Cyrsti's Condo, I am never shy about mentioning my hair.  I am a believer in nature giving and taking away. In my case, nature was in a giving mood with my big bones and torso but just happened to slip in potentially wild big hair. The take away though is the idea of older women not looking stylish in longer hair. Among other things it's called the 16/60 and is used to describe a woman who looks 16 from behind and 60 from in front.  Yikes!!!! I don't look a day over 59!

As luck would have it though, as in everything there are exceptions to every rule. In my case I read the exception in the Fabulous after 40 site:

"If you have thick hair with a natural looking color, and you are not too thin in the face, then you can wear your hair pretty long. How long? The best hairstyles for long hair over 40 are ones that fall no further than mid-back, or your hair will look unkempt. (but I think this is true no matter what your age.) The reason I think you need a little fullness to your face to pull off this look successfully is because long hair will draw the eye down, making your face look longer and thinner.

Although you might think that looking thinner is more desirable, as we age it really isn’t. A long and thin aging face will just look tired and haggard, and length will also draw attention to fine lines and wrinkles. My advice to women over 40 with long hair and a thin face is to a) switch to short hair or b) try a shoulder length style with layers and softness around your face. These two styles will be much more flattering. And remember, showing a little bit of your ear will draw the eye up, lifting everything up and showing off great cheekbones. It’s kind of like having a face lift."

It turns out, I can say yes to all three plus it would break my heart to say "no" after all these years. I guess karma cut me a break for sentencing me to the wait for my own hair. (Have to blame someone)

Plus certainly this information is also good for flattering wig styles we all can wear.

If we all do this right, we can look as good as Courtney Cox in the example picture above!

The Big "A"?

Do you remember Julia Sweeney's character Pat - the highly androgynous character on Saturday night live?

Well I don't know if I'm putting too much into just being called Pat at the grocery store or getting more looks than if I was dressed totally feminine? When I wasn't.

I have written a number of times here of how sometimes my androgyny catches me off guard as it did today. Of course I am sure it had nothing to do with my 6 inch highlighted pony tail flowing out of the back of my hat?

But "Pat"? Really?

Time Capsule

As far as the continuation of the last post here in Cyrsti's Condo called Quiet Time, I slept on it. If there is such a thing as my best "work"- it magically appears in my noggin at around 4 am. Normally,I'm thinking it's 4 am somewhere and get up. This time was different though as I had visitors-  the ghosts of blog posts past came floating around.

So, I started to look back at a group of old archived posts here for some sort of common thread.  Where I was then and where I am now, without the obvious. I had to toss out the "big" things such as HRT, relationships and friends. Well, not toss them but put them gently aside in my "to be cherished" room. Quickly I found the one common thread "back in the day" was how heavily influenced I was with what I was wearing and the public reaction to me.

All probably normal, right? Now normal is this big scary word to be but I guess I can use it in this context of my transition. I was just growing into my feminine self. So, I concluded my transition progression was normal but then I started to feel a bit guilty about many of my current blog posts now-or the lack of them. Sure the YouTube videos are fun and the news stories from around the world are timely and crucial to our transgender rights but:

I just don't have those fashionista moments to pass along. I don't wear heels, almost always wear some sort of jeans and what I hope is passable makeup.  My one guilty pleasure is still using my breast forms to fill out a form fitting top attractively with as much cleavage as I can.

If in two years I'm fortunate enough to still be in this dimension, will I look back at this post and think I had reached another milestone? If so, why did I have this nagging guilt that somehow I feel when I don't write as much about experiences because well, they have become mundane?

Sunday was a good example. I went to dinner with my girlfriend's father, brother and son for the second time and didn't have to ask for a hit off of Dad's oxygen tank because I could breathe normally. I had a girly salad (because it sounded good on a hot day) and just completely enjoyed myself. Not because I was living a transgender life-I was living mine.

Later of course, I just had to search for the slightest bit of negativity and found it. Was I on my much maligned stealth path?  Well probably yes and no.As far as looks go, I still do and most likely will always get my share. The "looks" now though have gone from stares and whispers to glances for the most part. So I guess essentially I'm sliding into the stealth dimension and it works because I can get those other pesky things done such as living my life. But on the other hand (or arm) my girlfriend and I are working diligently on a unique trans tattoo for me. Naturally if I'm going through all that pain and suffering I want my first Tat to tell the world I am trans and proud of it.

In two years I will invite you all over for an adult beverage to the Condo and we can open the time capsule and get a chuckle!

Too Much Going on to be Quiet

I am quiet though and I can't quite figure it out. Perhaps in my personal life I'm reaching a point of not being the one most likely to "rock the boat"? Forget gender transition- not being a rocker could be the biggest difference of all.

Maybe I'm not looking at the "big picture"? The more I have been able to build my new feminine life as a transgender woman, the more secure I have become. I could even take away the feminine word and still be secure. I am just me.

I love telling myself I was right-even if it took me so many years to arrive at this point. It was all so simple. When you don't have to live a lie, life just becomes so much simpler. DUH!

I also love to take all the credit for reaching this plateau of my life. Fortunately it's been awhile since anyone has told me how brave I am for living my life on my terms.  Balderdash!  Very simply I am one of the phantom 10% of transgender people in this country that someone knows.  The six or so people I consider as friends, family or lovers are the one who are much braver than I.  They gave me the push to "walk my transgender talk" until I could truly embrace and live it.

Looking back at the last five years, there was no way I could have imagined I would end up here and how it would differ from what I thought it would be.

Perhaps I rocked the boat into calmer waters and most surprising to me-it's a great feeling. That's not to say my ADHD pinball machine mind will calm down anytime soon but how I view the world surely has.

On occasion, quiet time is a little too much to handle! More to come!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I'm Turning Green!

Got to say I'm more than a little jealous! Check out the "twins" "Johnnyboyxo" and little sis! On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Quote of the Day

"The wrong life experience coupled with the wrong stimuli equals the wrong reaction" ...The learning curve excuse from a certain transgender person who has made her share of mistakes. Name withheld "cause" it's me!

You Can Never Go Home

Once you dress in women's clothes, often it's difficult to close the closet door...especially for Jared Leto. Leto who played a transvestite in the upcoming Dallas Buyers Club, is featured in drag again on the cover of transversal style magazine Candy.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

A Good Read

It's worth a "hop, skip and an Internet jump over to the Huffington Post. Check out  this post from Stephanie Mott: "Are you a Boy?"

Can I Book This Flight?

No boring flight on this day as a transgender artist was arrested on a West Jet flight for going topless after an incident.
Arsenault (or plastic look alike) and Sanfino
"This came from the : Nina Arsenault and Lexi Sanfino wanted to shock a flight attendant when Sanfino performed an impromptu striptease on a WestJet flight to Edmonton Thursday night. But the two prominent Toronto-based transgender artists said the performance was spoiled when they were arrested by Alberta RCMP officers, whom they allege deleted photos from their camera and threatened to throw them in jail with men."


"Arsenault said the incident was provoked by questions from the flight attendant, which they deemed inappropriate. “She came over and said, ‘You guys have to teach us how to do our makeup,’ ” said the 39-year-old performer. “And then they were like, ‘You know, because you used to be guys, right?’ ” In response, Sanfino decided to strut topless down the aisle. “She walked down the aisle with quite a bit of grace and flamboyance and had her arms out,” said Arsenault. “And then the flight attendants came and covered her up, saying ‘Think about the children!’ ” Contacted via Facebook, Sanfino added: “My actions spoke louder than words.”



I wouldn't kid you! It's time for another honest "HorrorScope" here in Cyrsti's Condo:

 "Libra: September 23-October 22): Manifesting what you want takes a lot more than just talk or filling up your Pinterest. As it goes, honesty is your greatest asset now, so accept yours. All talk and no action is only going to make you look like a fool, and if there is one thing you can’t handle, it’s a bad image. Let go of your fears and understand that when you’re truly on the right wavelength, there are no words."

 Guess I better shut up and work on my makeup! Unfortunately, fool has been associated with me as the other four letter word starting with "f" more than once!

"HorrorScope" is my own term. You can head to theFrisky
for your own scope here - honestly!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Organization and the "Shotgun" Trans Gal

I call my thought pattern a "shotgun" approach. I'm all over the place with ideas until I can finally get one organized and it sticks on the wall here in Cyrsti's Condo.

After many requests and quite a bit of paranoia, I finally redid one of our rooms into a pictorial transition timeline. I think it will be easy for you to figure out which one it is!

Growing up Fast

Coming out as a transgender girl at the age of six means you have to hit the road running.

First of all, the mere fact you are doing it at all is front page news and then the real fun begins. In this case I'm referring to Coy Mathis who was diagnosed as being transgender at the age of four in Colorado. Predictably when she started school, Coy was banned from using the girls bathroom.

Her parents promptly fought back and filed a formal discrimination lawsuit against the school system and they won!  In a landmark decision, the Colorado Civil Rights Commission ruled Coy must be permitted to use the girl's bathroom!

There simply are no words to adequately express admiration for Coy's family (and others)  who are carrying the transgender rights fight to the public and the courts!

Trans Knight

From the Malta Independent "She was the first transsexual to be a candidate with the Right of Centre alliance, the first to lead an equal opportunity committee, the first to open a centre in the South of Italy for those suffering from identity issues, and the first transsexual to get her feminine name accepted on her ID Card. Now she has become the first transsexual to be invested as a Dame in the Order of the Knights of Malta. Martina Castellana (left) is a dermatologist from Salerno.

Now, with the Cross of Malta around her neck, she is preparing a second book, following her autobiography, Sulla mia pelle published a year ago."

Yet another- "thank goodness" she never entered the stealth closet!

Anger and the Trans Girl

No big secret as you turn the gender "corner" anger issues or "anger management" if you will change dramatically.   In fact during my transition, it's a major issue for me.

Right or wrong, I played fairly effectively in the "macho sandbox" and I'm the first to say it cost me dearly-but another subject.

Looking back on the experience, I have labeled the male power structure as power one as opposed to the uber effective feminine passive aggressive. Reasonably early in life a male begins to sort out his place in the power grid. He could be a one, two or three. For simplicity, three's stay put.  Due to strength, intelligence, athletic ability or looks-they probably are stuck there and know it. Nothing wrong with that-not making value judgement.  Two's on the other hand can possess and combination of any of the power attributes I mentioned plus the ambition to challenge the front running number ones.  As with any species, it's a simple survival of the fittest basic.

I played in that number 2 sandbox and I have had a difficult time switching from a more direct confrontational view of stress situations with other humans to a passive aggressive.  Very simply put, no I can't (and never did) punch you in the face.  Instead let me smile ever so sweetly and figure out a way to intellectually punish you.

Both power grids define the genders and to a large degree define why on so many levels males and females have a difficult time understanding the other. Each bring the "tools" they have to work with to the table.  When my two young grandson's are off in the corner going crazy on each other, my 12 year old grand daughter watches and listen's to my daughter say: "they are just being boys, stay out of it". That's all good until a group of her friends come over and the battle lines are drawn again-for so many different reasons.

As humans I guess we have been blessed and cursed to witness this gender dynamic. But witnessing the power grids doesn't mean we can do anything about them. We all have to make our way through life the best we can. As transgender folk though we do have a unique chance to sit the middle fence and have a better understanding of how the gender grids work.

I have to say  my perch on the fence has been hard to maintain.

I guess  De Niro  said it best in Taxi Driver :  "You talkin' to me?"

Way Too Macho?

Thank you Alice for the comment on the short lived television show of a couple years ago : He's a Lady.
I do agree yes another show similar would be fun but also think America is way too macho to watch a bunch of sky diving, macho guys even thinking about going over to the other gender side. I'm fairly sure there had to be a resident cross dresser or two at TBS for that show to even get on the air.  Funny, ha ha acts of guys in drag are OK and I think transgender specials are becoming accepted for a totally different reason but He's a Lady wasn't close.

Taking this a step further. Perhaps some of you recognize the name of the show "There's Something About Miriam" from 2007. Since you are reading about it here in Cyrsti's Condo, you probably can guess what that "something" was all about:

 I did not like the premise of this show at all. Beautiful transsexual women tricking men just isn't good public relations.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Damsel in Distress

I have had more than a few struggles with the classic cars I drive breaking down. I have to tell you your car coming to a grinding unforgiving halt as you think you are the most beautiful trans woman ever -is no fun.

Of course the fun meter goes to an all time high when you throw wrecker drivers into the mix! Those rascals! Over the past 5 years I have had to deal with three of them.

The first one I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo.  He was the first man to strip me of my IQ.  He wouldn't even listen to me telling him how to get to my house!  Silly woman-what did I know? By that time I figured if he thought I was a dumb blond- I would be one and started to ask how this so complicated machinery worked on his "big ol truck". I wasn't sure he ever knew I was trans.

As harmless as the first experience was, the second one wasn't.  The second driver did know I was trans and I think he would have gladly beat me up and left me for dead. He was so bad the company sent someone in another vehicle to follow him.

The third one was OK but made sure I knew he was about the only one who would come and pick up my car from his company.  I didn't care and he got my car home and was gunning for me to send a giant compliment back to the company on him.

I will say times have changed for me and I will not hesitate to report a transphobic driver or company now. Plus it is the dispatcher who basically sets you up for success on these calls.

 Today I thought chances were good for a fourth call as  I was making a fairly lengthy trip.On the way back my car overheated-even though I thought I checked the coolant well before I left.

Approximately fifteen minutes into a two hour trip I had to pull off at an exit, find a parking lot to sit in and let it cool down. Being the prepared person I'm usually not, I even had an extra gallon of coolant with me..provided I had no leaks.

As I waited, a very interesting thought popped into my noggin...did I want a good Samaritan to drive by and stop to offer help.  Every ounce of my spirit was telling me, I was quite capable of doing this job by myself. If I had no leaks I just wanted to get home on a hot humid day...BUT...

Then again, if no one did stop did that mean the way I looked wasn't good enough for an offer of a helping hand to a stranded woman.

What I really did was park in a semi populated big parking lot in the late afternoon, towards the back. The whole time I sat there I think there were only two other cars at all who came close to where I was. I started the car, put the coolant in and all was good and I got home without further incident.

I really didn't start to think much about the other thoughts bouncing around in my ping pong brain until I was safely on the road again. Then again, I didn't even mention the security aspect of a stranger rolling up to help. But all in all the ideas were an interesting relief to a fairly boring drive!

TBLG Fashion

Put away the heels and hose kids and think about really showing your pride!
American Apparel has come out with a line of new Tank Top, T - Shirts and more of interest to the TBLG nation!
Follow the link for a look!

Catering for a Queen

The Bravo television network has a show which features a caterer extrodinare called Chef Roble and Co. Season two-episode two was called "Too Hot to Handle"

I was already a fan of Roble's because of the catering background I had during my food service days but this show was extra fun.

Roble catered for the queen  B.Scott the androgynous Internet celebrity,  (right) who among other things wanted androgynous food.

I'm not going to spoil the show for you except to say the event was over the top! (Of course it was!)

For a look, go here.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

I'm Married to a...

The vh1 series "I'm married to a..." has scored another must view for our transgender community. Not too long ago we saw Jessica of Jessica Who blog fame and her wife courageously present a very enlightening look at a crossdresser and his wife coming out of the closet. Now a new episode features a new Jessica and Scott, who happens to be a transgender man. Highlights as I saw them, included Scott's dialogue on being a person who happens to be trans not a transgender person first and foremost. Of equal importance was Jessica's religious and church background. This show is yet another look into our culture from the eyes of  real people who have something to say.

Tu cara me suena

Another cross dressing entertainer from "Tu Cara" on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Your Roll of Toilet Paper

A respected philosopher who was not "Randy Macho Man Savage" once was quoted as saying: "Life is like a roll of toilet paper (TP), the closer it comes to the end, the faster it goes. Lately the significance of that wise quote has not been lost on me.

I can get into sooooo many lines here such as can we bring two rolls for a shitty life? But I won't.

Any way you cut it, life is a game of your best plans turning to doo-doo and those pesky unplanned adventures threatening to do the same. But hey, no one ever said life would be fair or you can have extra TP. The best you can hope for is the girl in the next stall over sliding some under the partition.

As I approach 63, I do consider the so called winter of my life and most importantly-can I take any TP with me to the other side? Will I need it? Can you take it with you? If I find out, I will get back to you on that. I mean hey,  whats' more important the existence of an afterlife or TP to handle it?

If by this time you are thinking Cyrsti didn't really have anything to write about- that's not true.

I was going to get into earth shattering problems of why all of the sudden stylish clip earrings show up after I got my ears pierced or just why did  Lana Turner look so damn good in the original version of "The Postman Rings Twice". (above)

I'm leaving it to you to decide because my mind is worn out from all this heavy duty philosophizing..

See you later, I'm headed to the rest room to steal more quotes off the wall!

Cyrsti's Condo Quote of the Day

 " If a person thinks you have to have a penis to be a real man or a vagina to be a real woman, does that make them a real ass-hole?"  Guess who?

Just Own It!

Two rules on "going over the top". If you are going to do it, own it and once you get over the top never look back.  Here's an example on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Friday, June 21, 2013

Womanless Beauty Reality

Several years ago there was an all so brief reality show called "He's a Lady". The winning contestant received 250,000 dollars and supposedly had no idea of what they were getting them selves into. As we chat about here in Cyrsti's Condo and elsewhere, rather or not they admit it, many guys in womanless beauty pageants do know what they are getting themselves into. This show was no different. I'm passing along one of the first episodes from YouTube and all is really sort of mundane until we get to Albert/Alberta about 6 minutes or so into the video. When they let him see himself in the mirror, he showed absolutely no surprise that he was gorgeous-none. I'm thinking Albert had seen Alberta before.  You have to wait for the other beauty and make your decision at the end:


Please note a correction in a past post Transgender and Political  from November 8, 2012. It concerned Sarah McBride at American University who had stepped down as student government president. I gave the wrong impression she resigned when in fact her term was over.

Sorry Sarah and thanks for the correction!

Trans Wiring

Last night I watched a rerun on Lisa Ling's Our America television show on transsexuals and then stayed around for the show on Exodus International which for most of its existence insisted gay people could be turned straight.

It seems now the group has shut itself down and will reemerge as a new "ministry" in the future. From the comes a more complete look at Exodus and the show:

"Decades after leading U.S. mental health organizations agreed that being gay is not a disorder, a small segment of American society, driven largely by religion, has persisted in saying homosexuality is something that can and should be “cured.”

While there has always been ample skepticism about the “ex-gay” movement, recent developments indicate the movement is becoming more marginal than ever — it’s not dead, but it’s certainly in critical condition. Stories are legion of those who’ve gone through so-called reparative therapy, seeking to turn from gay to straight, only to find the therapy is not only ineffective but downright harmful. Mainstream mental health professionals have condemned it. One state has outlawed it, and others are likely to follow. Even the president of Exodus International has renounced such therapy and says Exodus is no longer part of the ex-gay movement."

As a transgender woman, this is one battle I can sit off to the side and watch with interest. If indeed I could look in on the situation with the "supposed" lack of understanding the average gay person shows with us- it would be different. But I can't. We all know the transgender cure is the closet.

So I end up wondering what was really behind Exodus? It is not totally cynical of me to consider the deal as yet another money grab?  I have no idea if the process was free but you don't have to look far into the financial records of the biggest evangelists to understand "spreading the gospel" is very lucrative.

Of course I don't know and to somewhat of an extent don't care but it is always good to see such a ruse such as Exodus go down in flames. You can bet on one thing though, there are certainly any number of peeps (some in pulpits) spending long hours figuring how to pick up these pieces, hurt more people and make a buck in the process. It's not going to matter we know we are wired this way!

In fact, years ago my Mom offered to pay for electro shock therapy to rid me of my transvestite urges.  I would have just short circuited the voltage.

Beauty Queen Dreams

According to the Daily News - Yet another transgender woman is competing for a beauty pageant crown.

On Saturday in London,   Dani, from Barry, South Wales will be competing along side 11 other contestants in the Miss Diamond beauty pageant.

"Just three years ago, Dani was called Daniel, it wasn't until she was 18-years-old that she made the decision to leave her life as a man behind and embrace life as a woman. But Dani, a manager at a nightclub in Camden, admits that while she didn't leave her male life behind until she was 18, the transition from man to woman began at an early age. "

For more on the story go here.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

You "Aint" Seen "Nothin' Darlin!"

Ivy Winters
Just when you thought one site had more drag queen pix than any other-go to Pinterest kids and search "drag queens"!

While my Blog Gently Weeps

As I was going through my morning emails, two items struck me as being exceedingly sad. Certainly both plant the transphobic seeds which encourage violence directed at and suicide within our transgender culture.
Neither are new. One was the infamous radical femme site called Pretendbians. So bad I'm not even passing along a link.

Then of course, there our "fair and unbiased"  Fox News Transphobes.

According to Media Matters   Fox seems to have largely given up in its losing battle against marriage equality for gays and lesbians, but there's still one segment of the LGBT community that it feels comfortable openly mocking and demonizing on air: transgender people. In late 2011, during the controversy surrounding Chaz Bono's participation on Dancing with the Stars, Fox News host Megyn Kelly made the surprising move of expressing her support for transgender people. During the September 1, 2011 edition of America Live, Kelly stated: The transgender, they go through so much pain and emotional turmoil in dealing with the effects of that disorder or whatever you want to call it and I don't think they need people piling on and mocking them once they do something that many people consider very brave. But that's me, that's my two cents. [emphasis added]

 That sentiment wasn't shared by her Fox News co-workers, including Fox News "Medical A-Team" member Dr. Keith Ablow, who argued that supporting transgender people was "insane" and "psychologically destructive." In fact, it appears that most of Fox News' employees have ignored Kelly's suggestion. Over the past several years, the network has routinely made the transgender community a target of its mockery, misinformation, and general anti-LGBT fear mongering."

All of this leads to wondering about contacts I have known over the years.  Who have just flat out disappeared.  While I know many times some of them made an attempt to "purge" and go back to their birth gender lifestyle, decided the transgender life wasn't for them or went stealth and never said bye- I understand. The ones I do worry about though are the those who will never return at all and took the ultimate route out the door. Certainly it's not a needless worry in the transgender society with such high suicide rates.

I wonder, do the rad femmes or the folks at Fox  ever worry when they are alone, deep in thought about their actions?

It's so sad that hate in any form gets to this level. I understand the talking heads at Fox are just media bullies trying to make a buck at someone else's expense but the others sooner or later will have to take ownership of their role in all of this insanity. Plus I'm not giving a pass to all the trans nazi's I have known over the years who love to put together some sort of ranking system on frequent flyer miles to Thailand or hours spent under the SRS knife.

So now you know why sadly, I believe my blog will gently weep for a while longer.

Freebie and the Bean

Yet another cross dressing classic for the Cyrsti's Condo big screen.  For those of you don't who remember Christopher Morley,(left with Carol Burnett) he was one of the top female impersonators of his day and was in several movies and television shows - when they needed a very convincing cross dresser. I have a very difficult time of labeling him since there just weren't many labels "back in the day" Plus.unfortunately those were the times when most anyone in the media cross dressed, they just had to be up to no good. Such as this 1974 scene from the movie Freebie and the Bean:

Your Face Sounds Familiar

I just caught wind of this show which is called "Tu cara me suena" in which celebrities transform into another one for a song. Sometimes, participants do drag. This show exists in a lot of countries now. I think this Cyrsti's Condo big screen presentation comes from Greece? It's phenomenal where ever it came from.

 I'm also going to toss in a YouTube link from a T-girl Ms Scarlett Raven with a heck of a channel!


Coronation Street T -Girl

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Transition Emotions

This video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen showcases the emotions of a young transgender woman before and during HRT. Check out Michelle:

Bond...Justin Vivian

I love!!! this site title:  Paper  "On the front lines of cultural chaos since 1984" Wow! That says it all!

Just as fun was Paper's recent interview with Justin Vivian Bond (left)on being an arrogant feminist and the problem with NYC Pride here are a couple of my favorites and of course you can read the entire interview here.

Night of a Thousand Judys (of course they are)-- the charity variety show which celebrates all things Judy Garland -- is happening tonight (with tickets still available here) and they've got quite the line-up. Of the many performers who will grace the stage and give their best Judy, Mx. Justin Vivian Bond may just be having the biggest moment. And:

"Mx America is my show that came about from this quote, which is by my friend's father: "You can tell the depth of a person's tragedy by the amount of space between how they see themselves and how they're seen by others." I thought that as a trans person and as an American, that was an interesting notion. So I decided to address that in a cabaret form. It's just me. And the good thing about this Mx America is that there's no competition -- I'm already the winner! You
can enter with real confidence knowing you're going to win."


A Blond Having More Fun

This video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen is a little different in that you have to wait deep into the vid to see any before HRT pictures of this transgender blond:

Falling off the Soapbox!

I have started this post three times now and ended up standing on so many soapboxes, I thought was going to fall. So, I am going to let the magic of the Internet whisk you away to a Brynn Tannehill post called The Canary in the Coal Mine.  

It's in the "Huffington Post Gay Voices" section and among other things, discusses LGBT findings from a recent Pew Report which of course set me off on one of my famous tangents- transgender stealth.

Follow the link above for many factoids and figures which probably won't surprise but definitely should concern!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A Self Made Man

A Self-Made Man trailer from Lori Petchers on Vimeo.


I loved all of your replies to my Dad's Day picture I swiped from Stana!

Truly it's nice his daughter does approve of "Dad". I am one who is fortunate to be in that category....BUT I guarantee you there isn't enough surgery to help me to look that good!

I do however keep thinking of all kinds of more possible comments from daughter and I will pass them along just as well as Dad passes..I hope!

Kind of like:

"Hey Dad, have you seen my Mani/Pedi gift certificate?"
"Now I know why my razor is so dull when I go to shave my legs"
"Christmas, will be easy this year"
"God I hope VH-1 or my friends don't see this!"
"Is that why he has picked Thailand for a vacation?"
"Was he kidding about what SRS really meant?"
"So that's why Dad only wanted the clothes in the divorce?"
"Now I see why he practiced a year with the boys for the womanless pageant."
"A great suggestion for Father/daughter day at the Spa!"
"So that's why there was never is any money in my college fund?"
"I refuse to call him Tiffany,  then again he looks like her. Well never Buffy."

And finally:

"Dammit! How did this make it all the way to Cyrsti's Condo so even she could make fun of me?"

A "Gem" of an Evening

If you have been following any of my "Pride" area event listings here in Cyrsti's Condo, perhaps you remember me mentioning the Yellow Springs, Ohio second annual event last weekend.

To give you a little background on Yellow Springs, it's located maybe 20 miles from Dayton, south of Springfield and is the original hippie village. It was no huge surprise then when the organizers put together a wonderful event topped off by a performance by the Rubi Girls. You have read me rave about them before and I was really excited to see the show.

As luck would have it, I met another friend at Peaches in Yellow Springs about an hour or so before the show and even then barely got a seat.

If you live in the Dayton, Ohio area-this is a must see drag show. In fact I hesitate to even call it a drag show. Not very many drag queen wannabes are covering "The a Morning After", a touch of the "Love Boat" and even "MacArthur Park". I was laughing so hard, I was glad there was a nearby bathroom-in case I had to pee.

By the way, Peaches gets props for a gender neutral bathroom up front. I'm not sure about the ones in the back. PLUS, please note Peaches is not a drag show bar.

 The Rubi Girls are much more than just a drag show plus they have donated over a million dollars over the years to fight AIDS. Talk about good karma!

For more information follow the links to The Rubi Girls and Peaches above!

Monday, June 17, 2013

Get in Your Holes!

All you round peeps, get into those round holes! All you square peeps, you know where you are supposed to be...Now get there.

Do you really think I should have to work harder as a parent and explain what you are?  Can't you come here when no one else is here. Have some respect!

Then there is that pesky gender binary deal. Doesn't everyone belong to one or the other?

OK, I see now- you are lifting your leg to pee. Are you even allowed to pee here? 

What's wrong with you. Don't you know life would be so much easier for us if you weren't  wearing that pink collar?


All right kids! It's time for another "HorrorScope" here in Cyrsti's Condo and all you "oranges" just get the hell out of my way!!!

 Libra September 23-October 22): "Seeing is believing, so get ready to open your eyes wider as you look ahead. Otherwise, trying to peer back or to the side is only going to distract you and make you want to measure yourself against others. Realize that would be the worst thing to do now, as your life is apples and the rest are oranges. Understand this is your time to take a road less traveled."

The only part of this "scope" which has me concerned is the "road less traveled". If I'm on any roads less traveled than the ones I'm usually on, there will be no pavement, no gravel and hopefully some dirt!

Please remember girls and boys "HorrorScope" is my term BUT you can get your own special "scope" from theFrisky here.

This Dad "Nailed" Father's Day

I saw this picture yesterday as I was making my usual stop at Stana's Femulate site. Stana couldn't remember when she found it or who it was except the picture was a "Father/Daughter" combo. Well of course "dear old Dad" was absolutely stunning but I wondered just what the daughter was thinking.

Being me of course , I do have a couple ideas of what might have been going through daughter's mind. Behind the smile:

1.- Dammit! Who would have thought at this time in my life, I would have to compete with Dad for attention?
2.-Does anyone really think this was the first time he has dressed this way for a womanless beauty pageant.
3.-Where the hell is Mom and is she the smart one for not being in this picture.
4.-When Dad is not looking, I'm going to see if those shoes fit me.
5.- Just where the hell did he learn to pose like that for a picture?
6.- Wow! I hope I inherited his gene's and not the ones he wears!
7.- Got cha! She is not my Dad at all, she's my boyfriend!
                                         8.- Wait a minute, is that MY new bag?

Here's your link over to Femulate for more.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

"Warshin' Off the Makeup"

Yes kids they do have drag queens up in the Pacific Northwest and here is a documentary about one on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. Doesn't cover any new ground but covers the old ground well:

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My Mirror and Pastries

Of course over the years from a closeted cross dresser into the transgender life I lead now, I have fought epic battles with my mirror. But I'm not alone, I see genetic women who have fought and lost the same game daily.

It's a tough battle. Both Genders pay attention to us. It's the age old question of "do women dress for women - or men?" Easy answer, women overwhelmingly dress for ourselves. Sure I want to look nice for guys too but if I'm not getting a passing grade from the women in the crowd, I need to keep trying until I do.

None of this was an easy process to work my way through.

First of all my mirror is a Stone Cold Bitch. By law she deals in one dimension (hers) which just happens to be a much different one than the public. My first conversation of the day is "Bring it Bitch!" But we both know I need her as a tool to help me. As long as she stays away from that dishonest feedback deal. I have finally come to the conclusion I don't look as good as she says I do but not as bad as I think I do.

Second, I was stuck right in the middle of several dominant forces.  I was a guy attempting to appear as a woman in public but I was going about it in all the wrong ways.

I was dressing for men from my perspective of what a man wanted to see. Cool, except I was leaving out a huge majority of the population who could make my journey easier-women. If I was going over the top with the such forgettable "Rodeo Clown Drag Queen" look, then I was missing everyone.

And finally, I knew very few  of the "tricks" of the style game such as fashion, sizes and shopping.

As the years passed painfully by, even I began to realize the path I was taking was going all wrong and I was lost. Of course life is better now as I became honest with myself.  Even the mirror and I get along now. No matter what she says I know my limitations and similar to any woman I try to do the best to work around them. In fact, just last night she was whispering sweet nothings into my ear as I finished dressing, brushing my hair and touching up my makeup. Finally I was ready to head out to a mainly straight bar/restaurant last night hosting the fabulous Rubi Girls.  I knew I was far from the sexy "thang" she said I was but I did feel  I wasn't over or under dressed for the night which is exactly what I tried to do.

Of course all of this progression has been something I have tried to over think for years. Actually, I came to a fairly simple conclusion.  As I do with many things in my life, again I was trying to shortcut the femininity process in me. For years I thought simply the best clothes, wigs and makeup could take me where I wanted to go.  As it turned out the process was similar to eating your favorite donut. Tastes great eating it but the sugar buzz and empty calories don't last long.

If you are a novice in our world as a cross dresser or a transgender person, just take a second and look around.  There is nothing wrong with eating a tasty pastry but if you are losing your buzz in a big hurry-it may be time to look in your mirror and think about a new diet.

Into the Main Stream

Any time I open my email account and the lead news story is 'M' or 'F'.-  Outdated ID's worry transgender people. I immediately paid more attention.

This story actually originated in San Francisco through the Associated Press:

"Most U.S. residents don't think twice about the gender printed on their government-issued documents. But those "M'' or "F'' markers — and the legal and administrative prerequisites for switching them on passports, birth certificates and other forms of identification — are a source of anxiety and, even, discrimination for transgender individuals.

The rules vary from state to state, agency to agency and even clerk to clerk. But a transgender applicant generally has been required to submit both a court order approving the gender change and a letter from a surgeon certifying that the person underwent irreversible sex reassignment surgery before obtaining a new document. Over the last few years, though, the emerging movement for transgender rights has been quietly pressing the issue, persuading state lawmakers and federal and state agencies to simplify the lengthy and often costly process.

Advocates recorded their latest victory Friday, when the Social Security Administration announced that it would no longer require proof of surgery to alter the gender identification of individuals in its computers and records."

One of the "Advocates" is Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality who was quoted as saying:

"Most people may not see this as a big deal, but transgender people know that this seemingly small technical change will protect their privacy and give them more control over their own lives,"  Since 9/11, it's become  incredibly important to have accurate and consistent identification. Without it, you can't open a bank account, you can't use a credit card, you can't apply for a loan, you can't get a job, you can't vote, you can't get insurance."

For more on this story and it's far reaching implications, go here.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Hot Fun? In the Summertime?

Here we are. Approaching the middle of my second summer on HRT. How's it working for me? I can easily say "better" if for no other reason than I have an idea of what's coming as we really make our way into the hot steamy "dog days of summer" here in Ohio.

This summer I plan on embracing the heat, not whining about it.  So far so good mainly because we have had a fairly mild summer.  Around here, most of us have been raised to learn to appreciate the good weather because the hammer is always around the corner.

I'm also a better "prepper"  I was able to avoid the sunburn issues of early last year with my own concoctions of lotions and oils. I remembered very quickly sun and I had seen very little of each other over the years. While I certainly didn't want the skin texture of an old saddle, I did prefer not to do my impression of "Ghost Girl".

This year also, a stable flow of meds at least until the fall makes life easier. Last summer I was tossed back on to a minimum HRT dosage while I waited for the VA to come through for me. I learned all too quickly how fast my body can fall back to it's accustomed testosterone. The sleeveless tops I was beginning to finally get used to wearing were becoming even more "iffy" with any sort of returning muscle definition. I certainly will never have thin arms but I prefer not to have the biceps of a baseball player.

One thing is for certain, at my age I should not be wishing anytime away and begin yearning for the cool crisp days of fall. Plus after I absolutely froze in a relatively mild winter around here last year, the idea of summer doesn't seem so bad!

Classic CrossDressing

This video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen is a rather lengthy look at a classic cross dresser episode on the old television show "Boy Meet's World". The nice thing about this show was it had a real meaning:


Style, Creativity and More!

If you read the background on this video, the YouTube presenter doesn't have any info where it came from or who it was. Too bad because it is incredibly creative, well done and more than a little sexy! Check it out on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Bag Lady

We have covered more than our share of "heavy" topics here in Cyrsti's Condo over the past several days. I figured today may be a fun one to "lighten up" a bit.

To begin with, the all powerful NFL decided to lighten women everywhere by issuing new rules and regulations on the size of "bags" being allowed inside the stadia'. Now, if we are so inclined to do so, the stylish themed purse we overpaid for in the team store can't be brought in if it is bigger than a clutch. So much for style points!

This mandate doesn't really effect me anyhow.  I make no secret I was and am a huge trans woman sports fan and the one NFL game I went to as me- I carried no bag at all.

No problem,. During my formative years, nearly all the female sports fans near and dear to me wouldn't be caught dead carrying a purse into a game anyhow. Unless they were helping to sneak adult beverages in before the step up in security. So, I was trained by the best. Carry an ID, cash in your jeans pocket and get down to fun at the game.

As with most of the girls  though, I have a fairly decent lineup of purses ready willing and able to accessorize my daily life. The whole subject is fun to discuss and we will one of these days.

By the way, it didn't surprise me much but my searches for that one special "football jock in drag" picture was hard to find. A reminder of those pesky running backs "back in the day" when I played the game. I wasn't allowed to bring my purse then either!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Social Security Steps Up

From ThinkProgress  Victory for the Transgender Community!:

"Today marks an important victory for the transgender community, even though it may appear to be a small paperwork technicality. The Social Security Administration (SSA) has announced that it is now much easier for trans people to change their gender identity on their Social Security records. All that will now be required, according to the National Center for Transgender Equality, is for individuals to submit government-issued documentation reflecting a gender change, or a certification from a physician confirming they have undergone appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition.

 This is a significant departure from the previous policy, which required documentation of complete sex reassignment surgery. Many trans people never undergo such procedures, either because they are too expensive, because they do not want to lose their procreative ability, or because it simply isn’t an important change for them to make to find authenticity in their identities. The SSA change eliminates this high standard for trans people to obtain the appropriate documentation for the gender that reflects how they live their daily lives. Though Social Security cards do not display gender, the SSA does maintain that information as data, and it can impact other governmental programs. For example, individuals seeking coverage under Medicaid, Medicare, Supplemental Security Income, or other public benefits could face complications if their gender markers do not match from form to form and identification to identification. In addition to an invasion of their privacy, the discordance could even lead to a denial of benefits.

 The new change will eliminate the obstacles trans people can face to access protections they often need because of other forms of discrimination they otherwise experience in society."

This is positively HUGE for people like me!

Autumn Sandeen On Transgender Vets and More

All you regular peeps here in Cyrsti's Condo know I am a transgender vet and follow Autumn Sandeen's (left) views on the subject with great respect.
Following transgender Navy Seal Kristin Beck's coming out party and book, I was anxious to read Autumn's take on the whole situation. To fill you in, Autumn is truly a ground breaking trans vet fighting what often I'm sure looked like a very lonely fight.

Here's an excerpt of what she said:

"I’d like to comment on instead is the implications of her story on the broader movement toward open service for trans people. One of the many arguments that were made by the LGBT public policy organizations, such the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), was that we wouldn’t want to discharge hardcore fighting corps, such as SEALS and Army Rangers, just because they were gay. America would be removing tough, smart, well-trained soldiers out of America’s special forces for a reason that had nothing to do with whether or not they were effective at doing their jobs.

That’s an effective narrative, but the LGBT community never had any former SEALS or Army Rangers it could point to and say, “And this is the kind of special forces soldier you’ll kick out of the military if they said they were gay on active duty.” In the trans community, we do have such a soldier now. We can now point to Kristin Beck and say, “If Senior Chief Beck came out as transgender while she was in the Navy SEALS, she would have been kicked out for a reason that had nothing to do with whether or not she were effective at doing her job. Is that what America really wants?” And is it?"

Allow me to paraphrase and get you to her actual statement but Autumn points out there are questions for an open trans military service AND the the preliminary work has been set in motion for a national discussion. Such as (from her previous column) the narratives of trans Department of Defense (DOD) contractors and civilian employees who’ve recently served in Middle Eastern combat zones – narratives such as those of Nicole Shounder, Rachel Bolyard and Erika Stetson.

Then there’s (Autumn's) narrative about her historic fight to have her recorded gender changed in the DOD databases. Huge, in that it showed that the DOD  acknowledged that trans servicemembers and veterans even did exist. Fortunately, this seems to be just the tip of the iceberg and hopefully the hypocritical transgender ways of the Pentagon have first class seats on the Titanic!

As you can read much is happening on this front. For more on the story go here

The Sandbox or the Sorority?

As I started to think over the Sand Bully post I did yesterday, I decided to expand a bit- or quite a bit!

Over the years I have happened across more than a couple rather misguided souls who still believe women are the kinder and gentler gender. There are definite reasons nature has picked the female to have children and raise families while holding a job or 14 other things. Women simply have to be tough and have better handle on the overall dynamics of the world.  They have to. No real compliment girls, just reality. It's no joke entering the gender world of less pay and respect just to name a few.

Those who think different are usually  new or closeted cross dressers who don't have much experience in the girl's "sandbox". That's all good. No value judgement-just opinion. Plus, if it makes you feel better,  you may find the term "sorority" more to your liking- but the end result is still the same.

In order to play of course, you have to be admitted. For the sake of simplicity (like my mind) I have broken the membership committee into three sets of genetic women.

1.- "The cool girls".  OK, get ready for my big stereotype- cheerleaders.  If you have an "A" game to submit to this group, make sure your makeup is perfect and look for "mean girls" lurking behind big shiny smiles. Before you think I'm being a total bitch, I have seen a form of the "cool girls" in one of my old cross dressing groups years ago.  If your "looks" were to a certain standard-you too could be welcomed into the sorority. Really? Oh well, so much for not being a total bitch.

2.- "The real girls".  This group's admittance policy is fairly easy.  Be a real person, with a sense of humor, a need to learn and no sexual agenda. Well, maybe not so easy but doable. As we all know women possess advanced B.S. detectors. While you may never be totally accepted as a genetic female you very definitely can be accepted as a transgender woman. Your bit of difference can add a little spice to their world because normally your approach to femininity is just off a tad from theirs.  With the right sense of humor, this becomes a very fun part of acceptance. If I had a dollar for every time I was told "welcome to our world" I would be down at the corner plastic surgeon guy getting a boob job to show off in a very low cut top! Plus at the same time, if you just sit back and observe- this group will teach you most everything you need to know on how to socialize yourself as a woman. Not the easiest group to casually find your way into but once you do, a very easy group to stay and grow with! Even as their token trans girl!

Finally, I shouldn't have to mention this but if you are thinking about going into to any of this with a sexual agenda...DON'T.  Nothing says "Wolfe in sheep's clothing" quicker to women and you will be perceived as just a guy in a dress trying to intrude.

3.- "The Do Not Enter Girls". Simple deal with this group. For social, religious or whatever reasons they in no way support your transgender existence. I call them "The who the hell needs them group". They could just be "haters", been kicked out of groups one and two or just can't wrap their minds mentally around a transgender person. One thing is for certain, you don't want to run into this group in a restroom situation.

Well, there you go. I really don't want to get into the finer points of getting ambushed by passive aggressive female behavior or a a few of he nuances of communication in this post.

Just be careful when you jump into the sandbox when the claws come out. Then again survival lessons are valuable when you are dealing with the "kinder and gentler" gender on their turf-or sand.

A "Loss" in Chile

Valentina Verbal campaigned to make history as Chile’s first transgender congresswoman. Had she won, Chile’s LGBT community would have representation in the national Congress before most other countries around the world. Verbal learned that she would have to run under her legal male name or pull out of the race. Verbal decided to step down. From the Global Voices site.

"The transgender woman ran for office having applied for — but without having secured — a legal name change. Verbal – who was born a man, but said she always felt like a woman — prefers to keep her birth name a secret. She said that the name not only misidentifies her, but has tangled her identity since childhood. “I thought, perhaps naively, that given the vacuum of electoral laws, and filling in that space with the anti-discrimination law, there wouldn’t be trouble getting what I asked,” she said. Verbal explained that voters wouldn’t recognize her birth name on the ballot. The campaign would be a wash with her having been in politics for years as Valentina Verbal. She belongs to Chile’s center-right National Renewal Party (RN) and spent the past years fighting for an anti-discrimination law."

Hopefully in the future Valentina will get the name problem straightened out and push Chile ahead in TGLB reform. Follow the link  above for more!

Gay Boys and Drag

Entertainment on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen from the "other side":

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Life Lessons for Women

The more you go playing around in the girls sandbox as a transgender woman,  the more you will learn how different the process is- outside of the evident examples.

Here is another look called "Life Lessons for Women, 9 Things it Took me Way Too Long To Learn" from the Huffington Post.

Here is #.8:  "If You Think, "I Really Shouldn't Do This, But… ," Stop Immediately At "But." Everything I have done after "but" has been a huge glaring mistake. Shooting off an angry response to a friend after she sent me a thoughtless email. Jumping off a stool while pregnant. Eating the whole weird shriveled-up black pepper in the take-out Chinese Magic 7 Vegetables dish. Pouring water on my husband's head even after knowing better (as articulated in rule 1). "But…" is the car alarm designed by the human mind to stop you at the point of stupidity. Ignore it at your peril."

If you want to look at the other eight, go here. Thanks also to Julia Bravo!

More Than Meets the Eye

I just posted a book of mine for sale on Ebay called "Drag Diaries". It was actually published in 1995 and presents a fascinating look into how the culture around us has changed since then. If you would care to take a look simply go to the Ebay.Com site and my seller ID is CyHart2012.
This book of course is primarily what it says it is- drag and drag queen driven but a history section is included.  Pictures and mentions of Native American "3rd gender" individuals are included among others.

I vividly remember when I found this book in an out of the way bookstore in Columbus way back then, my thoughts on the basic drag queen premise of all of this being an act to them. My problem I somehow knew none of this my so called transvestite activity was an act or an hobby as it was called.

It has only been recently I have been able to step back and take a look at the process and am reasonably sure most people around me view me as a real live transgender person.  My hair stylist (the Magician) is a recent example.  Both of the owners of the salon she works at and I go to are founding entertainers in a drag group called The Rubi Girls.  On a recent visit she was chatting about how much work the entertainers put into a rare show. (They only perform an estimated 3 or 4 times a year for charity.)

I said I understood of course and mentioned the magic of stage makeup, padding and big hair on an audience. But both of us knew I was a different species and really have always been. I also talked of being able to do drag again on my terms.

Someone whom I will not quote directly said something to the effect we are all are born naked and any clothing we wear is drag. True but- the problem with with transgender or transsexual women or men, is we just don't deal with a  gender mismatch on the outside. No amount of makeup, wigs or padding is going to make everything right.

The "Drag Dairies" book was fun as it took me back through my transition liberation process plus gave me a chance to thank the forces above I have made it this far!

Government Apology?

In the United States a "government apology" is nearly as rare as a Polar Bear taking a stroll through my backyard in the middle of a hot Ohio summer.

Everyonce in a while though a surprising apology or two sneaks through in other countries- such as Malta which is located around the Mediterranean Sea, just south of Sicily and east of Tunis. Perhaps you remember Malta making news recently as Joanne Cassar (right) continued a fight which began in 2006 and continued five years to 2011. At that time Cassar sued Malta in the European Court of Human Rights, which ruled in 2011 that her fundamental rights to marriage and family life had been violated by Maltese law.

The apology came from
Partit Nazzjonalista deputy leader for Parliamentary Affairs Mario de Marco has said in a recent speech that the party has let the transgender community down by refusing to recognize our rights. In his own speech he said the previous PN government "might have let transgender persons down" Later he even went back and corrected the "might" word and deleted it.

No matter how seemingly tiny, in whatever country- stories such as this should give us all in the transgender community just a little more drive to push on. Plus the sacrifice of individuals such as Joanne Cassar to push on when she could have hid in the stealth closet which so many of us run to in fear is truly inspiring!

For more on this story, please go here

Wednesday, June 12, 2013


No gentle sea breezes here in Cyrsti's Condo. It seems we are in the path of yet another giant weather system in the middle of the country and we are expecting a rough evening into the early morning hours. I know I'm speaking to the choir here if you are out in the Oklahoma area. With each of these weather episodes I want to say I'm a huge believer in the effects of global warming.

Other than that, life has sort of leveled out for a bit. When my biggest problem is getting back to my stylist for a color attack on my constant "greeping" gray hair.  That's all good!

I hope my next visit I can continue the plan for a "summer lightening" sort of a copper/blond mix.

Speaking of "blond's", I'm passing along one cross dresser who does pass on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen, the reactions from the audience are classic!

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Is the Gender Grass Always Greener Elsewhere?

Along the my way down the transgender path, I’ve been fortunate enough to run into several strangers who seemingly just “popped” into my world-made an impression and left.  So many think the average trans woman or trans man encounters an inordinate number of negative people. I certainly haven't kept a scorecard but I would guess the opposite has been true for me.

Years ago a tall , strikingly attractive confident woman in her mid 40′s made it a point to strike up a conversation with me.  She knew I was trans and garnered bunches of attention.. Basically she just wanted to tell me to hold my head up and it probably wouldn't get appreciably better for people like us. No, she wasn't transgender or transsexual but she felt the burden of her height and looks as just a hassle at this point in her life. By "us" she was meaning women who cause attention in a room-believe me for completely different reasons in our sense. How nice!

She confided years ago she worked at one of the clubs operated by one of the biggest men's magazines. Not the one with a rabbit involved-but the other. She went into a  15 minute tirade on the idiots in the world who couldn’t see past her reflection.

I was stunned.  So many people in our culture (me included) would have believed her situation was close to heaven.

I guess the other grass isn't greener. Everyone has their cross to bear. Even if it's a cross dresser cross.

Plus, I knew the greatest majority of genetic women didn’t have her “looks” either but certainly found ways to live highly successful lives. You know the women I'm talking about,who just exude femininity and a zest for life.

I started to consider not being required to bring a lawn mower with me with my makeup. Maybe the grass wasn't greener on the other gender side. I have found though it is certainly as soft and inviting as I thought it would be. That's OK, I never did enjoying mowing grass!

Age and the Trans Girl

One of the huge drawbacks of age is the tendency to repeat yourself. Peeps are fond of telling me I don't look that old (not a day over 60) or act that old. Which is all good until I haven't seen them in a week or so. Then I start  repeating everything I said the last time we met. Everyone is nice and says they are doing the same thing at half my age. Yeah right-if you are you may want to start check into the problem!

Being me of course, I'm doing essentially the same thing with words. At the risk of not being Dr. Phil  (plugging his book every 2 minutes)- I finally have my literary masterpiece molded into a form which I think is workable. The problem?

I'm to the point of moving posts from Cyrsti's Condo over to the book and then I'm seeing a paragraph or two in Halfback to Hormones which should come back this direction. All good until I wonder in the vast amount of 2,000 posts, have I already mentioned it?

Well, if I am- it's not nice to make fun of old peeps. Then if you do (get in line)  it won't bother me much anyway. My sarcasm can be compared to a person you are admiring across the room. The closer you get, it can easily lose it's charm! I'm used to it!

On a side note, my humor was one of the earliest issues I had to deal with in my transition. Bottom line, it was such a huge part of my male self-I brought it along.

Coming up in the next post a possible "repeat" performance. If I can remember which one it was!

It's the Time of the Season

In my part of the world prom and graduation season has almost come and gone. But has it really? With increased frequency we are seeing more and more transgender youth challenging the system. Standing up for the right to enjoy activities such as prom or graduation as the trans women and men they really are. The effect of each and every one of these youth will certainly be felt for years-until all the gender walls come down.

In the meantime though, there is much to be done encouraging youth in the closet to enter the world- on their own terms. How much of course depends upon where you are. Here's an example from the television show , What Would You Do?, who decided to find out what people would do if they witnessed a boy undergoing gender transition trying on a prom dress: