Trans Ohio Part I

There will be quite a bit of ground to cover about the Trans Ohio Symposium, so let me see what I can do, to do it right.

First of all, we did find time to do our nails and I went for the regular manicure with a dark mahogany polish, that I love! We will see now how long I can take care of them under normal wear and tear.

Columbus is only about a hundred miles or so from Cincinnati, so we had a chance to stop for a leisurely lunch and to stop at a metaphysical shop on the way to drop off one of our Ohio Valley Witches Ball brochures. From there, it was off to our hotel room and to relax, meet a trans guy friend and get ready for the nightly mixer at a laid back bar called Club Diversity in Columbus.

Diversity is a very laid back and enjoyable place south of downtown in an old mansion and we loved our annual visit again. (Especially Liz and the the Martini's,) From there it was off in the rain to Thurman's and one of their famous burgers. The hour wait for a seat was worth it!

Because we are old and had an early morning at the Symposium, we went back to the hotel and to sleep. As luck would have it, a major storm system nearly rained out the major running marathon Columbus holds every year and made it extremely difficult to get to The Ohio State University Student Union where the event was being held again. After showing up looking every bit the part of the wet dog, we got our coffee and settled into our first seminar.

Each hour or so we had our choice of at least three different workshops to chose from, and of course we chose the wrong one out of the chute. (Transgender history) Immediately,  this person pulls out about 30 pieces of paper and proceeds to read from them for an hour in a monotone voice. About 15 min into it, I am thinking was I back in college in one of the most boring courses ever? I had a heavy suspicion this person was some sort of an educator somewhere who specialized in making an interesting transgender topic BORING.

At any rate, our time was up, after about three peeps had to add in their comments and I was desperately hoping my choice of workshops would improve. And, they did.

Dramatically!  Plus, by the way, the presenter was some sort of an adjunct professor somewhere. I love it when I am right.

More coming up later :)

Cyrsti's Condo "Archive Post"

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Finding a Transgender Friendly Place

Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with  complex answers I can't even follow.

Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there."

I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!"

Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules:

One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly.  The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place.  They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that!

Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant.  You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime.

Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points:

1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start.
2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation.  You will indeed make a good impression.
3.-Go Back.  Maybe not common sense but a good point.  If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations.
4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way. When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.

Last but certainly not least, rest room and dressing room usage.

Very iffy and very sensitive.  Too big of a subject to be covered here except to say I do have one definite standard. When I'm a great regular customer in the places I go-I can get my restroom privileges. Employees and managers get used to me using the women's room.  BUT any "civilian" (not an employee) can change that in an instant with a complaint.  The last thing I want to do is cause a scene. Years ago a male manager at one of my regular haunts revoked my rest room card.  I simply went up the street and established myself at a competitor.  About 6 months later, he got fired and a few of the employees who were still there came and invited me back. How nice was that?

Finally, YOU have the power to enable a place to become transgender friendly.  Just don't go dressing all crazy, acting like an idiot and being a poor citizen. You will just ruin it for all of us.

Pioneer Trans Women?

I have often wondered what transgender women did way back in the day who were crossing the country in covered wagons etc. Of course in higher society, men dressed in wigs etc, anyhow, but still I am sure had no doubt they were men (except in a couple well known historical cases...Chevalier d'Eon.)

d'Eon

Not unlike the guy at the meeting the other night who criticized the trans women in the room for wearing jeans. And, Connie added:

Hey, pioneer women wore dresses to do their gardening! :-)

"As for the proudly closeted cross dresser, he may not wear pants when he's alone, but he probably does pant...and maybe groan a little. Really, though, it's the same mindset as those bowling cross dressers I talked about before. When it's time to be a woman for them, then there is no room for ambiguity. They relish the dichotomy of it all. It didn't take long for me, after being around this group, to know that I did not identify with them. That doesn't make me better, nor should any of them think that they are better than I. It's sad that there are some in both camps who think their way is the right way, especially when we've all been placed under the same umbrella.

Sorry about the time constraints that will keep you from your manicure. Enjoy the symposium, but, for gosh sake, at least brush the garden dirt out from beneath your nails before you go! (otherwise, as your meeting friend says, you might as well go dressed as a man:-) "

I guess having dirt under my nails would be one way to really "butch it up!" 

Plus, I will be interested to see the age/gender mix at the symposium. In the past when I have went, there has been a heavy representation of trans guys and younger ones at that. 

Either Friday night when we go to the mixer and out on the town, I might wear a long skirt and matching top I have or save it for Saturday. 

Cross Port

Cross Port is an organization in Cincinnati, Ohio made up of transgender/crossdresser type peeps. When I can, I go to the bi-monthly meetings for the camaraderie or even entertainment. If you remember a month or so ago, a wife of a cross dresser dressed to the nines made her unhappy visit well known and hasn't been back since. (To my knowledge.) The meeting is pretty much a no frills event as there are other socials, etc.

As you Cyrsti Condo regulars know, I am pretty much a no frills girl, so, as dressed up as I will get will be this weekend at the Trans Ohio Symposium.  So Monday I was wearing what I call a lacy smock top of sorts, jeans and tennis shoes. I blend right in at the meetings as almost all the trans women wear similar outfits, although this meeting some new sandals and colorful toes made their appearance.

Speaking of colorful nails, thanks to Jeni and Connie for their continuing input on rather to get acrylic nails, mine polished or even the stick on variety I had forgotten from my past. It all looks like a mute point now anyhow as time restraints have stepped in, plus the work of putting in a garden.

Back to the meeting. There is one guy who shows up quite a bit loudly proclaiming he is a closeted cross dresser and always will be. I have no problem with any of that until he lapses into a comment about why would any of us being wearing jeans. Might as well come dressed as a man. I wasn't too shocked because I used to hear it years ago when I wore slacks to transvestite mixers.

The answer of course is very simple, the great majority of the transgender women in the room weren't wearing jeans to feel like men any more than cis women do. We do it to blend, for utilitarian reasons or for comfort. I suppose I could wear some sort of a dress to work in the garden but it would be tough.

I suppose too, the ability to wear pants is something which comes with the trans territory, the longer we are out.

Maybe it's earned? Just like cis women have the ability to judge where they are going and dress accordingly.

Take the Initiative

In a recent post, I wrote about the problems with current or proposed transgender bathroom initiatives around my part of the U.S. and received these comments:

1. From Connie:
2. "Even here in liberal Washington state, there is a petition out for yet another "bathroom" initiative for the November ballot. I've been hoping to have one of the paid petitioners approach me on the sidewalk or in front of the grocery store. I've decided that, if it happens, I will spend the rest of my day shadowing the petitioner, just to stand there and smile along side of him or her. I may have to leave, occasionally, when nature calls, but I will loudly proclaim that I am going to the ladies room! How could that be worse than the homeless guy who freely pees on the sidewalk?"

1. 
   Paula GoodwinApril 20, 2017 at 8:25 AM

   "As I may have mentioned before, I am so glad I live in Europe in the 21st Century! I regularly holiday in Malta, although predominantly Roman Catholic this is a very accepting Country and I have never had anything less than full acceptance. They may have some old fashioned ideas about birds, but they are right on the button on LGBT issues."

As I have said a number of times, Cincinnati is a very liberal place but if we journey very far into the rural areas around town, I have to be careful of what I am doing. Although, as time passes, life is becoming easier for me (knock on wood.) Maybe it's a paraphrase of Connie's statement, when the heart and mind passes, the body follows.

Rookie Acrylic Nail Insight

I have mentioned a couple times how I am looking ahead to getting my nails done before the Trans Ohio Symposium this coming weekend. There are two choices, acrylic and having my own nails polished, shaped and colored. I have been pestering Liz about what the differences really are and if you don't know, here is Connie's take on the matter:

"Speaking of patience....so you're going for the acrylics, huh? Be prepared for a long sit-down, as your nails will be filed, glued, ground by power tools, filled with toxic chemicals, and given two coats of paint and a clear-coat. If it sounds more like sending your car to the body shop, you're right. Then, of course, you'll have to sit for what seems like forever while you wait for your nails to dry - and they never really will for the next 24 hours. You'll have to be extra-dainty with them. But, for the following two weeks they will look fabulous! Then, it's time to start thinking about booking a two-hour appointment for a fill the next week - if you want to keep them looking so good, that is. Otherwise, you can remove them (not so easily done), and you'll see that your own nails are, at least, worse for the wear.

I love having acrylic nails! I can't grow my own out because they are all ridged and misshapen by years of working with my hands (I think I've smashed every one of them, at one time or another, over the years). Acrylics can take the abuse, and the polish does not chip off of them. If I can find the time and money to maintain them, I don't too much mind the salon visit every three weeks. The Vietnamese lady who does them for me speaks little English, so it's not so much the social spa experience I would prefer. I do, however, feel so much better about myself when I leave (careful not to smudge the polish as I open the car door and put the key in the ignition, of course:-)

Actually, the time needed for the acrylics maybe the deciding matter as we may be down to not have a chance to go at all to the salon before we head to Columbus. Plus, I actually have enough of my actual nails available for them to do a pretty good job (I hear)."

It will be a game time decision.

Trans Ohio

Not much time for a post today. Trying to put together the three outfits I will need for the "Trans Ohio Symposium" this coming weekend in Columbus, Ohio which is about an hour and a half from Cincinnati the way Liz drives.

The long term forecast for next weekend is calling for almost summer time weather with high's in the 80's, so I am digging deep into my wardrobe for appropriate clothing.

I need to cover a fairly wide range of events in a short period of time including a transgender mixer on Friday night and a dinner date at one of Columbus's premier burger joints which perhaps you have seen on the Big Ten channels' food show for the best burgers.

Then on Saturday is workshop day (with 85 workshops) over a three day period, so I need to come up with an outfit which is fashionable yet comfortable. For me, that means no jeans for a couple days and my trusted tennis shoes will be cast temporarily aside for my black flats.

Plus we still are working on a time when we can go get our nails done before we go. I think I am going to get my first set of acrylics! And, an Ohio Valley Witches Ball meeting this afternoon today.

So it continues to be a busy week, and I know I am behind in answering all my mail here in Cyrsti's Condo.

Thanks for your patience.

Transitioning 401

I am an out and proud trans woman and I spend time on occasion trying to figure out a logical reasoning system to get to how I got here. This time I decided to place it in an educational format and I am placing myself now at a 401 senior level course in my Mtf transition and working backwards. Sometimes I think I have reached levels high enough to be considered in a Masters Degree program and then again I am not.

It is tough to list all the other levels/courses I think I have been through, but one of the easier ways to see a few is to go back to some of my earliest posts here in Cyrsti's Condo. If you read them, you will see I spent what I feel now was an inordinate amount of time on what went into my cross dressing experience. Rather than the experience itself. Which leads me to the mirror phase.  

I know when I went through the mirror phase, when I couldn't get enough of my image and looked for a mirror no matter where I was. I flat out wore mirrors out! It took awhile to pass the course but when I did finally grow out of that phase, I moved into my 301 level approval courses.

During the approval period of my education, I found many people (women) wold be quick to compliment my appearance. What I didn't factor in was the unspoken "I looked good-for a man in a dress," Once I had it figured out, I wondered how long I wanted to be just a "man in a dress" and went into my transgender phase and set out to live my life as often as I could as a trans woman. I found quickly, there was a huge difference between looking good as a cross dressed man and a transgender woman seeking a level playing field in the world.

As far as time went, my trans phase lasted the least of the other levels but was by far (as you can guess) the most intense. It seemed that every waking moment of my life not tied in with work had to do with the exploration of the world as a trans woman. Or, if I made the move to transition, could I?

Part of my transgender level courses included labs. Or, the time I actually spent on going to the doctors and starting on hormone replacement therapy. I really wanted to push along my MtF gender transition.  It was about this time I made the Dean's List and completely began to feel comfortable in my new life   and decided to take it a step further, by updating  my gender markers and changing my name. Or as I call it, Transgender 401. (Living full time)

The next level if I ever decided to take it would be SRS surgery and I  would consider it a gender transition  Master's or even a Doctorate. As compelling as the "final step" may be, it's just something I don't think I need at this point of my life.

So, there you go, my own attempt to compress 50 plus years of transitioning into an educational format. I am sure some of you will have much more to add from your journey.

Damn I'm Evil!

It turns out that Frump's seemingly endless stream of bigoted nominees has hit my former employer, the U.S. Army. Here is part of the story which was uncovered by the Huffington Post and reported here by the "San Diego Gay and Lesbian News.Com":

"Today, the American Military Partner Association (AMPA), the nation's largest organization of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) military spouses and their families, strongly condemned remarks by President Trump's nominee for Secretary of the Army, Mark Green. In a radio interview last year, Green said he opposes transgender equality because he must "crush evil." 

"Mark Green's comments are outrageous and beyond the pale," said AMPA President Ashley Broadway-Mack. "Our transgender soldiers serve our nation proudly, with integrity and honor. Green clearly has no business leading the men and women of the United States Army, and his appalling attacks against LGBT people are in direct conflict with the core values of the Army. President Trump should immediately withdraw his nomination of Mark Green as Secretary of the Army."

Green's dangerous remarks were uncovered by Amanda Terkel of the Huffington Post, who reported Green "believes that part of his mission as a public official is to “crush evil” ― and that opposing transgender equality policies is key to that effort."

Really?????? Where do they find these guys?????

Going on a LGBT Vacation?

One of the topics I brought up in yesterdays transgender Veterans support group was the simple difficulties trans women and men face while traveling to certain "hostile" states. In some cases "safe" restrooms are at the least hard to find. An example is here in Ohio where I live as compared to "crossing the border" and heading into the Southern U.S. The prime example of course is North Carolina, but Tennessee, South Carolina, Georgia and more get an dishonorable mention.

There was a time not too long ago Liz and I were considering a trip to North Carolina but no more of course.

I know the so called "safe areas" of neighboring Kentucky and Indiana but it just is terrible I have to plan my rest room breaks ahead of time.

Worst yet was another person in the group, a highly androgynous trans man who has trouble using either rest room because of the way he looks. As bad as I think I may have it, he has it worse.

Plus, I would be remiss if I didn't mention good old Texas which is currently involved in it's own transgender restroom struggle of it's own. And I know the stop I made to use the woman's restroom on the Mississippi/Alabama border was one of the most courageous things I have ever done just to pee.

Through it all yesterday, even the staunchest allies in the room seemed to be taken aback by the reality of being trans and out in most of America. It was a good learning experience for them.

And we didn't even get into the potential horror stories of trying to fly anywhere with the TSA.

Another Public Outing

It seems all of a sudden it is OK again to throw transgender people under the bus in very public domains for ones personal gain. This one comes from Canada:

"COQUITLAM (NEWS 1130) – She was outed as transgender during a TV news broadcast on Monday night, and now the provincial Green Party candidate for Coquitlam-Maillardville is hoping the slip-up won’t be a distraction on the campaign trail.     

Nicola Spurling isn’t pointing any fingers, preferring to call it an “unfortunate miscommunication” but says there are risks to outing any transgender person.

“Trans people face a lot of discrimination in the form of bullying, violence, being denied employment, being denied housing and being inappropriately questioned on a variety of issues surrounding the transition process,” she tells NEWS 1130. “And then there is just the general feeling of being unwelcome in society. A lot of people feel like you shouldn’t exist and that is something trans people have to deal with on a daily basis.”

For more, go here.

All in a Day...or Two

Several "housekeeping" items for you here in Cyrsti's Condo.

The first of which is (as reported by Jeni) the guy who outed Zeke on Survivor has been fired from his job as a real estate agent in North Carolina of all places. What he did of course was irresponsible at the least.

Second of all, it seems all my quiet time has passed me by as far as transgender happenings go. This afternoon, I am attending the transgender veteran support group up at the Dayton, Ohio VA, Then Thursday I go back for my monthly appointment with my psychologist to check what is left of my sanity.

Monday, is Crossport, a group of trans women and cross dressers here in Cincinnati, which normally proves to be interesting with the individuals involved. And, the Trans Ohio Symposium is sneaking up on Liz and I on the last weekend of April in Columbus, Ohio.

So all in all, the next week or so is shaping up to be a busy time and on top of it all. I am going to try to get my nails done (mani only) for the first time in my life which should be interesting!

Of course, I will keep you a-breast of the happenings! :)

Happy Easter

All religion aside, it is Easter and for many of us transgender women it is a time to remember how the girls around us seemingly had all the fun. After all, they were the ones who got to dress up in all the pretty colors and fashions while the best I could hope for was a new restricting tie.

I just could not get over the envy of the girls in their white or cream colored tights. Why not me?

It turns out, not all the girls thought the same about their new Easter outfits. Liz for example got in continual trouble for being a "tomboy' and getting her tights stained chasing a future Cincinnati Reds shortstop around her church.

Perhaps a better term would be, the grass is not always whiter on the other side.

At any rate, I hope you have been able to celebrate Easter (or whatever religion you worship.) In the manner which suits you the best.

After all, the world is too volatile of a place not to. Trans or not, we all need a special prayer.

Surreal?

Literally years ago before I embarked down my HRT journey, I read one man's comment that he would love to have his own breasts so he could play with them.

I am to the point now I understand where he was coming from...almost. After three plus years on the estrogen patch and spiro testosterone blocker, I have developed an unmistakable pair of feminine breasts, not man boobs.

I have written HRT posts before and received feedback such as I was bragging, or (the best yet), just another old guy on hormones.

What I have learned is, I have developed a very thick skin in addition to all the other HRT changes. As a matter of fact, I was crying during transgender man Zeke Smith's outing on Survivor the other night. Most times I am crying internally because I am watching it at all, but Liz likes it.

The whole Mtf gender transition process continues to be surreal for me. I am the first to admit I am dazzled by the external and internal effects of the hormones. For some reason over the years, I have continued to sleep in over sized The Ohio State T's until Liz bought me a pair of soft silky jammies which say "Live the LIFE you's DREAMED of."

How appropriate! And, probably more than she will ever know. When I wake up in the morning now, more than ever before, I feel the effects of my femininity.

I continue to thank the Goddess for my health to be able to take this trip at all and I feel at any time my doctors will tell me I have to stop for any number of other health reasons at my age.

But, until then I must enjoy everyday the best I can. If I take the time to look closely, it is all so surreal!

Did "Zeke" Survive?

Yesterday I wrote the "Spoiler" post on the recent "Survivor" episode which unexpectedly outed a transgender man who was actually back for another try on the show. First of all, hell yes he survived because all of us trans folk are survivors!

I received two comments plus I added the Yahoo News post: " On Wednesday night’s episode of “Survivor,” the world watched as one contestant outed another as transgender.

During an emotional tribal council with the group, Jeff Varner turned to fellow contestant Zeke Smith and asked, “Why haven’t you told anyone here that you’re transgender?”

“Survivor” host Jeff Probst spoke exclusively with Yahoo Global News Anchor Katie Couric about his reaction.

Zeke Smith

“Everybody there had to replay in their head what they had just heard. I was the same way; I think Zeke was the same way,” Probst said. “It was a moment of ‘this just happened… I did hear what I think I just heard.’”

And the comments here on Cyrsti's Condo:

From Connie:

1. And then the show outed him to the whole world! The "reality" of the show is highly edited to the point of being unreal (or surreal, if they want it to be so). I don't watch the show, but I read that Probst thought the outing to be surreal, and the rest of the "cast" was appalled by the outing. I imagine they made that clear in the final edit. I hope the trans guy was OK with it all. If so, we can all take heart in the fact that the show has given a lesson to millions that it's not OK to out a trans person. It doesn't hurt their ratings with all of the hoopla, either.
2. And:
3. 
   Jeni SkunkApril 13, 2017 at 5:31 PM

   "I read the news article on this, on Gay Star News.
   Whilst these unreality TV shows have never been on my viewing list, it's interesting to read of how this one did play out during filming, near on 8 months ago"

I am sure the "editors" on Survivor played this up for all it was worth, but the fact still remains Zeke wanted to play the game as a man...not a trans man. Which I thought was important for the audience to understand. 

Plus the fact still remains that we (transgender women and trans men) still are an oddity of sorts, but even still we should not be the ones tossed under the bus for being trans. 

Whatever the editing, the punishment was swift and the other guy was sent home.

Spoiler

If for some reason you have been waiting to watch last night's episode of "Survivor" , I will only say there is a transgender person unexpectedly outed on the show.

If you are not familiar with the show, a group of men and women try to eliminate each other through basically alliances and mind games. The final winner gets a million dollars.

Last night a trans person was thrown under the out bound bus by a gay guy. So much for the LGBT umbrella!

It back fired and:

That's all I will say!

Trans Enough?

Connie's comment to my "Are you Trans Enough" post bares repeating:

"I wonder, is it that we grow to be more trans, or do we grow to be less trans? Is it our transness that causes the dysphoria, or is it the dysphoria that dictates the degree of transness? If we are attempting to be "trans enough", just what, or whom, are we doing that for?

I grew up not thinking I was "Trans" - the term had not even been coined yet. I can remember only that I wanted to grow up to be a woman, even if I had to grow up like a boy to get there. In that sense, is it possible that my transness was measured by my ability to make myself man enough? What I know now is that I'd HAD enough of that! Enough is enough, then. Being who I am now is more defined by living my life as the woman I saw myself becoming, as a child - not the transgender woman I, somehow, was given direction to become by someone else.

Attempting to be "trans enough" is as limiting as subscribing to the gender binary itself. It implies that one must measure transness by how close She comes to the Female end (or He comes to the Male end) of the scale. Transness, though, would also include how close He is to the Female end (or She comes close to the Male end) of the scale. The combinations are infinite, and the only person who can decide what is "trans enough" for her/himself is her/himself. That is, of course, if becoming "trans enough" is what he or she was looking to be in the first place.

One thing for sure, though, one has to be tough enough!"

Bravo!

Dove Transgender Mom

"Dove is being applauded for featuring a transgender mom in their new advertising campaign for #RealMoms.

‘There’s no one right way to do it at all,’ says Shea, who is seen in the video caring for their newborn son.

The grad student features in a new video advertisement from BabyDove. She is one of several women appearing in the advert, including working single mom to breakdancers to cattle ranchers."

Let me pause for a moment to add my applause! For more, go here.

Are You Trans Enough to be Woman Enough?

This post is designed to be a twist (not twisted I hope) on the theme of transgender women berating each other about not being "trans" enough.

First of all, for most of us, just getting to the point of achieving a feminine external presence to survive society seems at times to be a close to impossible task. Then, when we get there, the realization we were just getting started down our journey could be a shocker. Hadn't we spent years and years studying cis women? How hard could it be?  Playing one on one in the "girl's sandbox" can be tough and there has been more than one time when I have been content to sit back and play my "trans" card as two cis women battled it out. I suppose on those occasions I was "trans enough."

Being a quote - unquote "woman" is tough enough. I have always said being a man or a woman is a socialized term and not one you are anointed with from birth. So you have to be transgender enough to even feel like you want to go through the whole feminine socialization process. In fact, the socialization process is tougher between trans women than a cis- trans casual meeting.

Of course cis women are trained from early life to "throw shadows" since they don't operate on the same power bases as men. (Is that throwing shade?) An example would be when they compliment you on how nice your dress looks, when in fact they are thinking it looks good on a man wearing it.

So, how does someone crack the "trans" barrier and be able to play in the girls sandbox as an equal partner? If I knew the complete answer, I would be a rich person. But, from my experience, being trans enough has taught me to be careful of what I think I am seeing from other cis women. I have had a knife stuck in my back too many times not to.

If that was my only criteria to being woman enough, I would have achieved my goal.

The only other advice I can give from my humble viewpoint is, be careful not to come off like a bitch and stay mentally nimble. Somehow you need to give off the impression you are doing more than just throwing on a dress once in a while and going out in the world.

You may need it to be trans enough, to be woman enough!

Connie's Kids' Transgender Rhyme

"For some reason, while reading your post,(Being Transgender Follows Me)  I began envisioning the old Reading Primer we grew up learning from. With a trans-twist, though, I imagined this:

See Dick.
See Jane.
See Dick as Jane.
See Dick run.
See Jane run after Dick.
See Jane find Dick.
See Dick look.
See Dick look like Jane.
See Dick hide Jane.
See Jane run.
See, Dick is Jane.
See Jane.
See Jane with no Dick.

I wish I could accompany the story with illustrations. :-)"

It is probably for the best! An illustrated version may have a "X" rating!

Thailand...The Land of Opportunity?

Not so much for transgender women who are forced  to attend conscription for the nation's army.

Every April, Thai men who turn 21 must either volunteer to serve for six months in the military or take their chances in a lottery, where a choice of black ticket lets them go home but a red ticket means they must serve for two years.

Now, while many are mostly exempt from taking part in service, if they don't get the proper exemption documents they have to go along.

This has caused huge embarrassment and stress for many Thai trans women, and caused outcry from LGBT communities,

For more, go here.

Being Transgender Follows Me

It is an easy excuse for a complex problem I know. Very few humans know the feeling of not knowing their binary gender when they wake up every morning. We who have not had that "privilege" are forced to live day to day with is what is commonly known as "gender dysphoria."

In my case, the dysphoria caused me at the least anxiety and at the most a deep seated ache. I was the kid who didn't want the BB Gun and would have been happier with a doll.  But a BB Gun is what I got. Along with the knowledge I better start running as fast as I could from my gender malfunctions.

I was never fleet of foot anyway and over the years my transgender soul followed me, most of the time in a vicious battle to win my total being. Being who I was, the only thing I knew to do was to fight it the best I could.

Then, all of a sudden, in the midst of my journey, the world began to catch up to me. The psychiatric community declared trans people were not mentally ill after all and I learned the true meaning of the word transgender.

Still, running as fast as I could, I kept looking over my shoulder at my transgender self who was constantly gaining on me. At that point, I tried to self medicate myself with alcohol. The "more the merrier" almost killed my liver years later after I had tried a very active suicide attempt. Looking back, much of my reckless behavior had to do with "passive" suicide tries.

Finally, I was able to live life the way I have been happiest, as an out and proud transgender woman.

I know I paid my dues (about 50 years worth) but still being trans follows me. Into every rest room and face to face meeting with others, and it always will.

The toughest part now is knowing that no matter how hard I try, being transgender will always follow me.

Since I have accepted it though, the world is a brighter place!

Weinstein Company to Battle "R" Rating for Transgender Film

According to Variety:

"The Weinstein Company is taking on the ratings board over “3 Generations.”

The drama about a transgender teenager earned an R-rating from the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) for profanity and for sexual references. That means that moviegoers under the age of 17 can’t buy a ticket without a parent or guardian. The Weinstein Company is objecting, arguing that the film needs to be seen by high schoolers because it has a message of acceptance and inclusion that’s relevant at a time when transgender rights are being hotly debated. Transgender teens also have a higher suicide rates — 40% of transgender adults attempted to kill themselves, with 92% of those attempts coming before the age of 25."

“3 Generations” follows Ray (Elle Fanning), a teenager who has struggled with the body assigned to him at birth and is determined to start transitioning. First, however, he must find his biological father in order to get permission for the medical procedure."

Naomi Watts, who stars in the film as Ray’s mother Maggie, said: “This film is a beautiful and touching story about family and identity. It is important for teenagers to see it and the ‘R’ rating doesn’t reflect today’s society. ‘3 Generations’ doesn’t have a bad bone in its body, it’s an expression of love, acceptance, strength, and honesty — values that could not be more necessary right now.”

"In a separate statement, Susan Sarandon, who stars in the film as Ray’s grandmother commented, “‘3 Generations’ is an important movie for everyone to see, especially transgender youth who are feeling isolated or fearful and their families. It’s ridiculous to have an R rating which would prevent this audience from seeing the film.”

What People Who Exclude Trans Women from Real Women Should Know

This title comes from a "Huffington Post" article I just read. By Katelyn Burns.  She begins by writing:

"A series of liberal newspapers have printed op-eds by prominent feminists declaring cisgender womanhood to be the real womanhood. What they all miss is how the language declaring “real womanhood” has been a racial and patriarchal oppressive dehumanizing tactic for centuries. It leads me to wonder, why is there a need to declare one thing, one experience, one human life to be “real” at the detriment to all others? "

She goes on to write about "keeping up with the Joneses of womanhood.

How accurate! Plus, it's true we don't have all the resources cis women have and for the great majority of transgender women, we get a late start. And:

"As a transgender woman, my womanhood is constantly questioned. Not only in newspapers, but in comedy specials, by my government, by my elected officials, even by my family"

I also like her (Katelyn) points about freely admitting she does not know all the experiences of a cis-woman or vice versa. It's a shame the whole matter has come down in some people's minds as who has paid the most dues.

This is a very interesting article and I urge you to follow the link above for a thought provoking read.

We Got Mail!

Paula Goodwin set in this comment to one of our transgender rest room posts: "I think I may have finally learnt to make three checks, that the seat is attached, down and clean and dry (I can't hover!), that there is a lock on the door, and paper on the roll."  (Especially if ou are going to Mardi Gras!)

And Jeni added:  I would say a FIFTH toilet, not third. (is needed)

Normally, the third toilet is the disabled persons one.
The fourth toilet to gain media coverage, has been the unisex ones, for civilized people. Not the utter cretinous slobs you describe here." 

I replied the fifth toilet could be a "Porta Potty" or an "Outhouse."

Connie sent in this DIY comment on my hair coloring post: "Transitioning doesn't come with instructions, although following instructions for things like coloring your hair, assembling IKEA furniture, or even recipes should be part of Transition 101. Not following the instructions is such a guy thing! Sometimes a girl has to learn the hard way, I guess. :-)"

Some of us have always had to learn the hard way I guess.  Similar to expecting your skin to be presentable if you don't take care of it, or that dress to fit if you don't watch your diet!

Thanks to all for your comments :)

Cyrsti's Condo "Archive Post"

I Love Ohio

Marcela Ohio Miss T Brazil 2012 Transsexual beauty.

Attention to Detail

Finally yesterday I gathered up enough courage for yet another "DIY" (Do it Yourself) hair coloring.

Each time in the past, I have struggled either with the directions from beginning to end or getting all the color on my hair and not bathroom walls and fixtures. In a rare moment of clarity yesterday, I was able to accomplish understanding all the directions plus was careful to not make a mess, except on an old towel or two.

First off, I have a lot of hair and most of it thank goodness is pretty thick. So, working all the color in is important. Otherwise, any gray streaks left uncolored come out looking like bald spots. I concentrated my efforts on the crown of my noggin and worked outward, which today seemed to work well.

The second problem I have had is not washing out all the excess color. In my mind, the more that stays on the better. I guess the manufacturers know best because a good lather and rinse saves me from extra color on the towel when I dry my hair.

Finally, I paid attention to my timing on the conditioning step of the process. The "secret" for me was to leave the conditioner on for the extra minute the directions called for, then making sure I rinsed all the excess out of my hair.

The results today have left me with the overall color I was looking for plus very soft and manageable hair.

I guess it was high time I got it through my thick noggin how to properly color the hair on my thick noggin.

Mo Pee?

As Connie points out, "common sense" isn't often so "common" when it comes to rest room use:

"Restroom etiquette is not always practiced by cis women either, although I have to guess that few, if any, of them stand facing the toilet in the stall when they pee. Many do, as do I, squat and hover to avoid having to sit on the seat. Following the rules of etiquette is important for the trans woman, in that it reduces the red flags (go ahead and make that into a tasteless pun, if you'd like). As you say, it's just common sense. Common sense, though, is not necessarily common to ones gender. Maybe, then, a third restroom should be made available to the slobs of any gender(?)

When I first ventured out, it was with a cross dressing social group. They have a long "Rules of Conduct" contract one must agree to prior to joining in outside-the-meeting activities. To me, it was all common sense, and I imagined that there must have been many incidents that led to the writing of this list. I know of one person who was banished from the group many years ago for masturbating in the stall! Again, I'm sure that there have been cis women who have engaged in that activity, as well, but with not such egregious results.

For a trans woman (or cross dresser, for those who would want to make a differentiation), using the ladies room for the first time is often considered to be a rite of passage. It's not necessarily a right of passing, however. For most of us, our outings would be severely limited if we had to pass completely before using the ladies room. 

Since the first time I went out in public "en femme", I have used the ladies room without incident. Until all of these "bathroom bills" began, I never really had reservations to do so. A few months ago, though, I had a little scare as I stood in line in the ladies room. A woman left one of the stalls and, while washing her hands, declared that there had been a man in the room. She turned from the sink and looked directly at me, and it was all I could do to make eye contact in return. "Did you see him?," she asked me. Trying to hold my composure and not let on my relief, I just shook my head "no." I wanted to ask her if she meant that it was a man in a dress, but I really needed to pee, so why press the issue (so to speak). "

I too learned the hard way not to automatically think a toilet I was about to sit on was even close to being in "pristine" condition. Although I did know from my days in the restaurant/bar business cis women were as capable as men when it came to trashing a restroom. 

My "worst of story" comes from when a group of cross dressers invaded a mixed gay/lesbian bar in Columbus, Ohio years ago. Several of them seemingly took pride in peeing all over the seats, except the two who kept going in to make out. 

If it wasn't for low class, some people wouldn't have any class at all!

India Steps Up!

After undergoing rigorous training, India’s first trans police officer, Prithika Yashini has graduated from the academy and is ready to start her new job.

In 2015, Yashini won a landmark legal battle to become the country’s first trans police officer.

Earlier that year India officially recognized transgender people as a third gender. But the Tamil Nadu Uniformed Services Recruitment Board (TNUSRB) did not have the option on its application.

She won a battle in the Madras High Court to have the include a third gender on its application process.

‘The social impact of such recruitment cannot be lost sight of, as it would give strength to the case of transgenders,’ the judges said in their ruling.

‘Yashini must reach the finish line, and not be stopped and disqualified in the middle.’

For more, go here:

To Pee or Not to Pee

On one of my email platforms, I receive at least 25-30 emails a day concerning various places around the US/world about transgender women or trans men and rest rooms.

Recently I have even began to see a bit of a "push back" from what I used to call "trans nazi's" . Their point is should any cross dresser, regardless of "sophistication" in their dressing be free to use the women's rest room?

At the risk of sounding too high and mighty, I say no. The simple act of throwing on a dress once or twice a week and then going out, should not punch your ticket to the women's room. Why? I have always considered it a privilege of sorts using the rest room I identify with and have not literally used a men's room in over five years.

I studied hard for the right. Some consider I the simple rest room test is to at the least sit to pee. In order to blend though, don't forget to wipe, flush the toilet, clean up after yourself, wash your hands and check your makeup before you leave. Plus, I am sure others of you can add to that partial list, like never sitting your purse on the floor and how you aim your urine stream into the bowl. I even used to carry a Tampon in case a woman in the next stall was testing me out. Now, I am way too old!

I supposed I am biased too, by the times I have seen cross dressers abuse the rest room privilege in primarily gay venues and get them placed off limits to the rest of us.

So, common sense should rule I suppose. But in today's world I know it is a rare commodity. If you have taken the time effort to present well as a cross dresser in the real world, there is no reason not to be able to use the women's room. But if you look like some sort of a drag queen on the loose, then it could be a different story.