Mixed Emotions

Thanks to the wonderful people at Facebook, recently they pulled up this ancient picture of me in the summer of 2014.

I like the picture on a few levels and on the other hand don't like.

In many ways I consider this a transition photo. I was moving away from being a blond and closer to wearing my own hair.

What you may not see in the picture is the torment I suffered from the wig's hairline. It's one of the few wigs I ever owned I even took a pair of scissors to. It's a wig though which brings back fond memories.

I wore it to my first "girl's night out" when I was invited by a group of young women I had met at one of the venues I frequented many times. Even though I was scared to go, I also was excited to tag along also. I put together one of my black outfits with a tank top and a long black skirt with a slit up the side. It turned out not to matter much as the younger more attractive women received most of the attention anyhow.

I had more luck when I wore the same outfit (and wig) to a big gay venue one night to meet a couple of friends. One was a trans man and the other a lesbian. I ended up having a fun evening and asking them to accompany me to my car when I was leaving. I had learned the hard way not to walk around the venue by myself.

Now, back to the picture. What I do like is my expression. I feel as if it gave me an impression of strength. The breasts of course were not natural. They were mine only in a sense they were given to me as a gift years earlier from a cross dresser who was purging his storage shed. Plus the way I was sitting only gives a slight indication of how over weight I was at the time.

I am sure you have to be transgender to put so much effort into breaking down an old picture.

Off the Road Again

Two days this week (as I have previously written about here in Cyrsti's Condo), I found myself at yet another cross dresser- transgender support meeting and a visit with my therapist.   This week at the bi monthly meeting, we had a new attendee, a high school aged trans guy and his mother.

All went well, with plenty of feedback from both ends until one of the cross dressers opens his mouth and blurts out (again), he has to be a cross dresser because he likes women. Every time he says it, I correct him by saying his ultimatum does mean anything because I am transgender and like women too. I then went on to explain to the Mom, the difference between gender and sexuality. And how both operate on the LGBT continuum. Besides, I have met cross dressers who like men.

For everybody, I kept my speaking to a minimum on the subject. It's just that I get so sick and tired of him bringing it up and I think he might just be protesting too much!

At the meeting also, I was invited to join in at an outreach day for transgender veterans at the Cincinnati VA hospital campus. As a point of clarification, I go to the Dayton, Ohio center, so it will be interesting to see how it all works out. As it stands now, we have three trans vets involved in our group, plus another moving here from Tennessee soon.

As far as meeting with my therapist went, we didn't spend much time talking about me, since I was asking questions I needed to know about an upcoming interview I'm doing for our group's monthly newsletter. It should be interesting since another trans woman vet is joining in for her views too. We both go to separate hospitals for our care, it will be interesting to see the differences. She is the one whose hormones became so out of whack, her blood tests showed her to be pregnant. So, she has a lot to say! 

Trans Ohio Part I

There will be quite a bit of ground to cover about the Trans Ohio Symposium, so let me see what I can do, to do it right.

First of all, we did find time to do our nails and I went for the regular manicure with a dark mahogany polish, that I love! We will see now how long I can take care of them under normal wear and tear.

Columbus is only about a hundred miles or so from Cincinnati, so we had a chance to stop for a leisurely lunch and to stop at a metaphysical shop on the way to drop off one of our Ohio Valley Witches Ball brochures. From there, it was off to our hotel room and to relax, meet a trans guy friend and get ready for the nightly mixer at a laid back bar called Club Diversity in Columbus.

Diversity is a very laid back and enjoyable place south of downtown in an old mansion and we loved our annual visit again. (Especially Liz and the the Martini's,) From there it was off in the rain to Thurman's and one of their famous burgers. The hour wait for a seat was worth it!

Because we are old and had an early morning at the Symposium, we went back to the hotel and to sleep. As luck would have it, a major storm system nearly rained out the major running marathon Columbus holds every year and made it extremely difficult to get to The Ohio State University Student Union where the event was being held again. After showing up looking every bit the part of the wet dog, we got our coffee and settled into our first seminar.

Each hour or so we had our choice of at least three different workshops to chose from, and of course we chose the wrong one out of the chute. (Transgender history) Immediately,  this person pulls out about 30 pieces of paper and proceeds to read from them for an hour in a monotone voice. About 15 min into it, I am thinking was I back in college in one of the most boring courses ever? I had a heavy suspicion this person was some sort of an educator somewhere who specialized in making an interesting transgender topic BORING.

At any rate, our time was up, after about three peeps had to add in their comments and I was desperately hoping my choice of workshops would improve. And, they did.

Dramatically!  Plus, by the way, the presenter was some sort of an adjunct professor somewhere. I love it when I am right.

More coming up later :)

Was She or Wasn't He?

I haven't told all of you about my experience from the other night.

It follows the same path as the other "Trans Dar" posts, some of you have commented about, except this time I am not talking about a cross dresser or a transgender woman; I'm talking about a transgender man.  

So,  thanks to having been able to watch the FtM transition my friend is going through, my "trans dar" was going through the ceiling.  This guy's face was angular and "stubbly" and his voice was going through the change.  In other words, he was moving out of the "butch" category totally...I think.

Interestingly, I have never been with a genetic woman whose trans-dar zeroed in on a trans guy.  I use Pat's wife as an example around here (again)  It would have been interesting to have viewed her reaction the other night. I'm saying there would not have been one from her.She would assumed "lesbian" and moved on which is as unfair as assuming every cross dresser is gay. (Pat's wife wouldn't because she has more knowledge-I know.) Or perhaps,  if there was a reaction, she would have thought, Wow! that's a masculine woman!"

In a way, I feel sorry for Pat's wife because I use her thoughts or possible actions like I know her-which I don't.  We have never met and according to Pat, knows nothing about Cyrsti's Condo.  (Come on Pat, who knows everything about the woman they are with?)

Finally, no, he didn't speak to me and really didn't even glance my way hardly at all.  But, being the gossip queen I am , I did see one of the bartenders I know talk to him and heard him ask for her by name earlier. Chances are  I can find out the story!