A VERY Scary Costume

You will need to be a sports fan to appreciate most of the irony in this Cyrsti's Condo post.

Over the years, I have felt the extreme pain, suffering and cruelty which goes along with being a Cincinnati Bengals NFL football fan.

The past couple of seasons they have improved though and along the way I have pulled out a couple of very expensive old jersey's from players who grew to be roundly disliked in Cincinnati.

The Black and Orange colors represent Halloween well of course and indeed over the years we Bengal fans have been tricked more than we have been treated.

Actually they don't look bad with a black long sleeved top, leggings and boots except for the players names on the jerseys...Carson Palmer and Chad 'Ocho Cinco' Johnson.  At least now if someone questions me about wearing them, I can act like I don't know who Palmer and Johnson were or I can say they were my Halloween costumes because the two caused me such scary pain and suffering over the years.  Especially from you Pittsburgh "Squeeler" fans.
 

Trey BOO!

This Cyrsti's Condo Halloween epic involves a Victorian House, a coffin, a real skeleton and a politician.

I was working as a DJ on a local radio station here in town and one of the news women got an invite to go to a Halloween party at a local Victorian Mansion which was being restored.  She told me about it and asked if I wanted by chance to go too.  After she twisted my arm for about three seconds, I said yes!

For a change, my "costume" for this party was more in the "well dressed woman" category. I can't really remember what I wore but when we got there in the entrance foyer was an antique coffin with a skeleton.  I casually asked if the skeleton was real and was told yes!

The rest of the house looked like a scene from the Addams Family, just a perfect Halloween setting.

The party featured more than it's share of socializing and of course I was receiving my usual amount of "is that a..." attention.

Later on the fun started for me when an up and coming politician and his wife asked me if I would leave with them and go to another party. I was shy and backwards for a change and for some reason said No.  Later on he actually served quite a few terms in Washington.

It seems I destroyed my chances to move up in the political world that night.  Maybe Monica Lewinsky wouldn't have had so much on me after all!

I ran the "Monica" impersonator on the left picture not long ago but you just have to respect the attention to detail with the dirty knees!

BOO! TOO!

My lazy black cat is telling me I'm running out of time to feed her again and get another Halloween experience from long ago and far away posted in Cyrsti's Condo,  before the clock strikes midnight.

This post is a continuation of my years when I had just got out of the Army and landed back home in the mid 70's. Keep in mind, I was coming off of four straight years in college and three in the Army, so I was very uncivilized. These two Halloweens are in that period as I was married to my first "no harm, no foul" wife. Yet another very good way to stay uncivilized.

Liz and I. Witches Ball 2 yrs ago.

On the Halloween in question,  for some reason along the way I had managed to acquire some sort of a black velvet short dress to wear as a "costume". Of course I had every new cross dressers friends - a platinum blond wig and black heels. I remember quite vividly how long it took me to carefully shave my legs, apply my makeup, examine myself in the mirror...and...open the door right in front of my wife's younger teenage sister.

Well, she was stunned and I was shocked as I high tailed out the door in my heels to the car.  Before I made it the club I was headed to, I did add one more fashion accessory, a black beret.  Unknowingly my idea was a good one.  Of course I had already applied too much eye makeup and lipstick so the beret covered a large part of my not so convincing blond wig and sort of (with all due respect to the French)  gave me French look of sorts.

At the club, I was having a really good time watch people watch me until this guy comes up to me in a trench coat and full mask and says, "I know who you are." Well, I'm rarely speechless until then when I did blurt out, how could that be?  Could have someone found out my deep dark cross dressing secret?  Well, he kind of did. He said, "You look like your Mom." At that point I narrowed my choices down to a very few people and he finally showed his face.  Turned out he was the older brother of one my friends who I grew up with who had seen me cross dressed.  At that point in time he was probably figuring the "girl phase" of my life when I was young wasn't a phase!

We both went our ways and the night ended with very little other excitement except my heels were killing me and it was time to head home to a very questioning sister in law.

Finally, the comment about my Mom amused me for quite a while.  I do look like her but she would have killed me for wearing that much makeup!

It's a "Boo ti Ful" Day in Cyrsti's Condo

Well, it's Boo-ti-ful" in and outside too.  Gray skies, storms and high winds tonight to the extent the kids Trick or Treating my be canceled.

I will have a final "Best of" Halloween experience to pass along, but first a couple comments too:

From Billie: I also got stoned and I certainly did not miss him, either! His was THE message for the times! Especially, "Walk on the Wild Side"! He will be greatly missed by me and hopefully his message will be passed along.

 RIP Lou!!  You are so right Billie, the first time I heard part of the verse which said "shaved his legs and then he was a she" I was driving and about wrecked the car!

Plus a costume idea from Pat:  " I plan to dress and do a bit of a pub crawl for Halloween. One place that I will hit will be having Karaoke tonight. In the past I have done songs such as Lola by the Kinks and Dylan's Just like a Woman but I have shied away from trying "Wild Side". Perhaps tonight?"

Sure why not!!! Just remember the old bar saying, "You can judge how fast the beer bottle is coming at you from the sound of it's whup, whup!"

Finally, under "it's a small world" thought from Paula in the UK:

Oh no, now you have said that you have reminded me of doing my paper round early in the morning when no one else was around, wearing tights (pantihose) and a gym slip which I had "acquired" , If only Id known then what I know now.  You got me on that one, woman!  I don't recall adding the extra "fashion" accessories you did!

Paula, from bathroom wall graffiti to paper "rounds" we seem to share a lot of common history.

As always, thanks for the comments and we will do Halloween in the next post!

Stuck in the Middle with "Exy"

One of the more androgynous individuals around, is Exy Davis. Even I had a difficult time saying "Exy" was cross dressed for either of these pictures!

Walked on the "Wild Side"

Of course I noticed immediately the passing of Lou Reed, of the Velvet Underground fame. Lou Reed appeared on the scene as I was questioning my gender identity seriously for the first time.  I say seriously because down deep I knew cross dressing was just not going to be an end all solution for me but I was afraid to look at other alternatives which would effectively change my life forever.

Lou Reed

Reed's biggest hit "Walk on the Wild Side" hit the charts in 1972, and homosexuality was still classified as a mental illness by the American Psychiatric Association In the middle of all of this  "The Wild Side" hit the airwaves and was.famously written about a gay hustler and several trans people, including his friend and Warhol-muse Candy Darling.

It is important to note Lou Reed had more than a commercial or passing interests in transgender women. He  had his own personal trans muse in the form of Rachel, a Mexican hairdresser variously described as transvestite and transsexual by her contemporaries. Rachel and Reed appeared  to have been lovers for much of the 70s and fans suggest she inspired some of his greatest work.

Quite possibly though, Lou Reed's greatest gift to the transgender community is he outed us all to the world.  All of a sudden we existed.  Plus, many of us were very exotic and even cool!

At the time,  Lou Reed was yet another exciting influence for me during a time of flux in my life. I was graduating college and into the Army and I most of the time I joked and said, "I got stoned and missed him"- but the opposite was true.

 I hope his final "Walk on the Wild Side" is a good one!  RIP Lou!

Read more on Lou Reed courtesy of Paris Lees ... here.

Halloween Cross Dressing Caption

DAMN Dad! Isn't November 15th a little late for a Halloween Party?
I'm getting tired of shopping with you every day for a costume!  

You probably have seen the different cross dresser "caption" sites here and there.  Personally I have never been a big fan of captions because for once, I'm into to more of a reality look at transgender women and transgender men than fantasy captions.

I was however going through my older pix and found this one which I thought would make a great Halloween caption.  The blond is rumored to actually be a Dad spending quality time with daughter.

Cyrstio's Condo "Trans Beauties"

Kendra Mondragon:

We "Gotz" Mail!

Thanks as always to all of you who sent in your usual wonderful thoughtful comments to the high tech Cyrsti's Condo mail center!

Paula, along with Vicki is one of the girls from the UK who commented on the differing use of Tranny across the pond. She said she always thought first of a transistor radio. I could comment Paula of a kid doing his paper route with a transistor radio rocking the Beatles but that would age me!

Paula also commented on the "Beeb" (the BBC) being a more reliant news and information source due to no reliance on advertisers. Speaking of our own network with very little advertising (PBS), for some unknown reason my quirky mind has become addicted to their opening news sound.  It's aired at a pre butt crack of dawn hour of 6 am and is a shorter version of the "Beeb" channel I get on my satellite provider. My dog has not adjusted to me "beeping" along with the opening sound. I have not adjusted to being up that early for no real reason.

Leanne commented on my "Don't Hate me Post":

"Please do not dwell on those that do not understand you be they cis, trans, or in between (which is probably where I fall). For each person that doesn't want to understand you, there are ten of us that not only want to understand you but most also love you as a sister. As difficult as our journey is, we need to learn to accept the good and ignore the rest."  Thanks Leanne, I really don't dwell on them, that one though caught me by surprise!

On Passing Comments, Vicki for some reason I don't think that is her hair so we can both pull in our claws. I will have to go back and check a few of her other videos! If it is, I may have to find other ways to dislike her in my passive aggressive set of weapons! (Just kidding!)

Again and again thanks to all of you and Mark for your comments!

What Does Transgender Mean to You?

Many times we miss the forest for the trees as we go on a trip of gender self discovery. Plus, if you are "more mature" like I am, it was literally years before a term such as transgender became well known at all.

Today though, the term transgender has become a "catch all term" for gender fluid women and men all the way to transsexuals. In a rare moment of clarity, I stopped my world and thought, was does transgender mean to me and am I correct in applying it to myself.

Very simply, my own personal definition is transgender means exactly what it implies, "neither male or female but somewhere in between." I'm in transit between the genders something like this - when I'm not forced to crawl around and fix plumbing in my house, I yearn for a pair of fuzzy slippers to keep my feet warm. Similar to any other genetic male or female, I'm doing what I have to do to keep this place and my body together.

I fielded a question today from a person from another site who sought me out for advice, of which I'm always flattered. Very quickly as a point of reference, the conversation turned into a discussion of percentage. How much did I live as a woman versus how much she did and how did HRT effect the whole process. We actually were exact opposites. My "time as girl" was very high and hers was very low.

I consider "chats" such as these are a good way to reassess who I am. At the same time I have a chance to give a person who is thinking about seeing a therapist as the first step towards HRT, a little insight into the process. I continue to feel the true tragedy within the transgender community are people who never really learn their true spot in the gender world, until it's too late. Indeed, the landscape is dotted with those who went under the SRS knife only to learn the ultimate cut just wasn't the right one for them or the older folks who will forever wonder if they should have tried.

So, I know the transgender term is a comfy place for me to hang out because no matter how the outside world is viewing me, I know what my head is thinking.

Recently too, I have several visitors here in the Condo and other places ask how I knew I was trans and not a cross dresser or transsexual.  The answer was quite simple as I look back on it. I never felt whole just putting on women's clothes but once I did begin to feel whole, I knew SRS wouldn't make my situation any better. As I said, my head tells me I'm a trans woman, not what the configuration is between my legs.

I'm fond of saying I don't have any therapy shingles to hang up anywhere and the best advice I never got was the most important one: You really have no idea of how the other gender lives until you have the chance to peek in and live it and the process better go deeper than just prancing around in a mall. (Did that too!) Just a guess but before you label yourself, it would be a tremendous idea to learn what the label is all about.

Oh by the way, no charge for this session!

"Dragging" Down Bigotry at Westboro

From the Huffington Post Gay Voices Site:

"The Westboro Baptist Church, everyone's favorite anti-gay zealots, were in for a big surprise over the weekend when their lawn became the epicenter of a drag event titled "Drag Down Bigotry." As reported last month, Equality House planned to host the event and utilize it as a fundraiser for anti-bullying programs. The show occurred on Saturday and drew out an estimated 150 participants."

Go to the link above for more on the story or watch the video here on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Leo Aquila

More than a pretty face?

Jadson Mendes de Lima  , better known as Léo Aquilla , is described as a Brazilian drag queen.

However,  The artist became known for his performances in concerts nightclubs gay and for his appearances on television programs. Plus,In the elections of 2006 he ran for the position of deputy state of São Paulo by the PSC , but failed to get elected, obtaining, however, a significant number of votes: 21,778. In the 2010 elections he obtained 14,382 votes for state representative.

Cyrsti's Condo "Horror Scope"

Another week, another "scope" here in the Condo!

Libra (September 23-October 22): Having irrational fears is part of being human, but to let them get the best of you to the point where you avoid circumstances that can help you, is a self-sabotaging cop-out and everyone will know it. So, save face and jump into making a larger emotional investment in you future. Sure, safety will be a slippery slope, but the strength is in you — just don’t get lazy.

Well, at the least I got the benefit of the doubt on being human with my irrational fears and I dislike cop outs and being a victim in my own life. I guess this won't be the week I get lazy!

Don't you be lazy either and go here to theFrisky for your "scope"!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"The biggest risk of all is not taking one at all". Normally always heard from a person who took the risk and succeeded.
 I have never had a problem living this quote in my life, which leads me to the second quote:
"Some you win, some you lose and some get rained out."  The big difference these days is I carry a different style of rain gear!

Felipa Tavares

The 6-foot-tall Felipa Tavares is among Brazil’s small but growing ranks of transgender models — leggy, high-cheekboned sirens who were born men and are causing a splash here as well as in Paris and other international fashion capitals.

"Passing" Comments

After watching the last video on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen on "passing" , I'm sure I share an initial thought with many of you, "sure it's easy to say all that if you are a natural and essentially don't have to worry about "passing".

With the naivety of youth and the blessing of appearance, she had a tough time "talking" around the points of no we shouldn't have to resort to thousands of dollars worth of pain and countless hours of suffering to have a chance to live as the gender we choose. But the fact remains we have to.

She was also right that if you can get your gender presentation to a point which could be described as "entry level" then your attitude should take over and life should become noticeably easier. Or to put the idea in the format we are writing about, if you are driving a five speed transmission car, when you shift down into fourth gear to pass, fifth gear is when all the fun starts.

Her discussion was a good one though and we all have the problem of "over thinking" this transgender life we are in.  She was simply seeing the bright side without having to experience part of the dark.  Good for her, at least she is thinking the right way.  She just happens to be driving a new Porsche and I have an old Kia. Our gears are different!

Attitude and the Passing Lane

This is one of videos Julian sent me to show on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen. This young transgender woman has excellent ideas! :Thanks Julian for sharing!

Sunny Sunday Morning

Around the beaches and the mountains here in the Cyrsti's Condo metropolitan area, it's time to hit the keyboard and converse with all of you. As always I'm trying to catch up with comments and the world as I try to shake off the cobwebs of enjoying my Buckeyes beat down the Nittany Lions last night.

First of all, I would love to pass along a positive post about the UK for Paula and you other British girls for a change who stop by the Condo.  This story is even from a more reputable source (I hope) the BBC.

"The annual Pink List named Paris Lees as the most influential lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender figure in the UK. But her rise from being a "silly teenage boy in a prison cell" has been far from simple.

With the organisation All About Trans she is determinedly changing media representation of transgender people like herself. And as the first transgender presenter for Radio 1 and Channel 4, she is making a mainstream audience aware of trans issues."

Follow this link to read more of Paris's story which like so many of us was not simple!

While you are there, one of the side stories on the site is a subject we discussed, how we transgender women and transgender men choose our name.

So there you go, Paula and Vicki and the rest of you over the pond.  Believe me we have our fair share of ignorance going on over here. For once it seems the desire to publicize it all is not as strong.

On my email, which you are more than welcome to send a message on, Julian sent along a YouTube video for all of us to take a look at. Which I will, to tease you a bit, the person begins by commenting how hard it was for him to appear male.  We all need some of that problem, right? Thanks Julian for also mentioning the time aspect of maintaining a blog such as this. As I told him,the more a blog takes on a life of it's own, the more it takes of your life.  I'm sure Stana, over at Femulate would agree!

Finally, for this post, a quick comment on Aerosmith's music. Pat picked up on my comment about one of their old songs. I think it was "Walk this Way".  Indeed, I spent many hours abusing Robin Hood Big 16 Ale's and rocking with Aerosmith.  But, the number of times people who used "Dude Looks Like a Lady" to abuse and mock me over the years,  have soured me to the group. I don't think though, I have ruined their career!

Aww right kids, the dog doesn't care about my hangover and is pushing me for her walk and since the temp is getting back into the 50's, she is right!

As always, I appreciate your input!

Artistry in Drag

Best in drag on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Just a Cross Dresser in the City

On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen, a quick cross dressing upload to give everyone around here a quick fix on a football Saturday and it was not good, here is a better one!

Cross Dressing on Spanish TV

Angelina, good question! The make up peeps in this show did a good job with this guy.

In response to your question, go here for the Cyrsti's Condo post,  then follow the link in the post for more information on the show, Aida TeleCinco  Spanish sitcom

Laura Jane Grace

Legendary Floridian punk rock outfit Against Me! have finally set a release date for their long anticipated sixth full-length studio album, Transgender Dysphoria Blues, the follow-up to 2010′s White Crosses, as well as revealing the tracklisting and cover artwork.

 The 10-track record will be out next January and will offer a highly autobiographical insight into frontwoman Laura Jane Grace‘s journey through gender identity, self discovery and ultimately love and acceptance, as well as her trademark dominant vocals and no-holds-barred songwriting.

I'm adding a couple pictures showing the HRT progress in Laura's pictures, specifically with her hair (which I LOVE!) and the joy in her face!

For more go here.

 Check out the titles of four of the cuts:
 01. Transgender Dysphoria Blues
02. True Trans Soul Rebel
03. Unconditional Love
04. Drinking With The Jocks

Ari South

"Project Runway" Season 8 fan favorite Andy South is back — with a new name and a new look. Now known as Ari South, the Hawaii native is competing on "Project Runway: All Stars" as a woman after completing a gender transition. A lot has changed for South since finishing in third place on Season 8 of the reality series but one thing hasn't changed: Her skill and taste as a designer. She chatted with Yahoo TV about the very competitive season, the cast's reaction to her transformation, and the two celebrities she'd love to dress.

For more, go here.

Don't Hate me Because I'm....

You all have probably caught me up on my Cyrsti's Condo Soapbox whining and crying about pet peeves such as being roundly rejected by certain elements of the transgender society.  On one hand I'm too much girl for the cross dressers and on the other I'm not enough girl for the transsexuals. Blah, blah, blah...as Pat said in a comment here labels are just labels and how you interact with a person one on one is reality. As Vicki said if I was in the UK, I may have a whole different idea of being called a tranny and if I was black I may have a whole different reaction to being called "girl".

Today though, on another site I'm active on, I was told, "I should be happy I was able to transition at all." Well, DUH, I am of course.  I responded to the person, "I'm happy to be here at all", when you consider three years ago I was coming out of what I call the dark years of my life. Back then,  I didn't care if I lived or died and none of it had to do with gender. In the three years previous, I lost my wife of 25 years, three of the closet friends to death I had ever known and my business. Oh, and did I mention I'm also bi-polar?

What few people know is I was and am a very independent, guarded person. So picking up the pieces on my own was tough and I almost didn't make it.  Now I find the irony in those I meet who think the pleasure I find in life right now has always been a part of me. It took me years to quit being a "victim" and I happened upon an idea to pay forward and get out of the rut I was in. You are reading it.

When I started Cyrsti's Condo back in the day, I barely knew what a blog was. Connie in Seattle was reading my posts on another site and suggested I begin writing my experiences on my own blog and here we are.  My goals were and are as simple as I am...maybe I can help others with the crazy experiences I have managed to live through in 64 years.

As I said, hell yes I'm happy to be here and my heart literally sings when the world becomes mine for the taking as a woman but damn it was tough to get here. As unfair as it is to discriminate against me for not being a cross dresser or transsexual, it is as bad for resenting me for simply seizing an opportunity in my life and writing about it.

So don't hate me because I'm transitioning.  I know many of you just can't and I respect that but I'm fairly sure you don't want to take the route I did to get here.  If you do, I'm behind you all the way!

Carmen Moore

"Carmen Moore"

As we know, it’s still very rare for transsexual actors to be given transsexual roles, but a film company is setting out to change that trend. Drunktown is casting Navajo transsexual actress Carmen Moore in one of its lead roles. The movie has already been shot, but is now looking for completion funding on Kickstarter, in the hope it’ll be ready for the Sundance Film Festival in January. The movie follows ’3 Native Americans: a college-bound student, a father-to-be, and a promiscuous transsexual struggle to escape their Indian reservation.’  The name comes from  Writer/director Sydney Freeland's response to a news report she saw, which branded her community Drunktown USA.

The transsexual character, Felixia, faces the struggles of TGLB people in the modern world, including within the Navajo culture. Navajo's have always revered members of the ‘third gender’ but outside of that transgender women face similar pressures the rest of us face - men who think sleeping with her would make them gay, while many other people simply reject her.

Go here for more.

Raika Ferraz

From OnTop Magazine:

Twenty-one-year-old Raika Ferraz (shown on left) Monday won the title of “Miss T Brazil” in Rio. Twenty-eight contestants competed for the title during the country's second annual pageant. Ferraz won a sex change operation in Thailand but said she would not undergo full sex reassignment surgery. “I'll get my nose done and a bit of botox,” Ferraz told gay news site Neto Lucon. “I also think I'm a little bit fat.” “What matters is that you feel happy with who you are, you know,” Ferraz told the AFP. “If you're a transsexual who hasn't had surgery and you like yourself that way, well that's what matters. And what also matters is respecting individuals.”

Marjorie Marchi of the Association of Transvestites and Transsexuals of Rio told the news agency that the pageant also serves to increase awareness. “We use beauty as a political strategy, so that these people can benefit from policies that could change the sad and degrading context that transvestites and transsexuals still live in in most South American countries,” Marchi said. Ferraz will represent Brazil at next year's Miss International Queen 2014 in Thailand.

Attack of the "Moobs"

The fall season is here in my part of the world and before the cold weather really gets here, I had to get this post "off my chest."

Around here, we have quite a few of obese guys and thus "moobs" - man boobs.  Excuse my insensitivity here, but "white trash" individuals are alive and well where I live.  Not to be outdone by the white trash girls who put the "belly" in belly shirts men are now putting the "moobs" in t-shirts.

The proliferation of moobs around here led me to question my own girls.  Was HRT truly a better choice over bunches of fast food double bacon cheese burgers, if I wanted breast development? How fair is it for the guy in line ahead of me to have a bigger set of "girls"?

I'm kidding of course about all of this.  The more HRT works it wonders on me, the changes do keep occurring with the girls.  I can't tell you I will be crushing the "D" cup zone anytime soon, but what is happening now is a "filling in" process around the breast.  What I mean is the breast areas running up my chest and inward towards my armpits are really showing a noticeable change.  For a lack of a better term, the girls seem to be gaining weight and becoming more substantial too.

Ironically, even though the first question I get about being on HRT is normally about breast development, right now I'm more interested in how my hips are changing and what I am going to do with all this wild and wonderful hair.

The only time I totally feel the changes to my breasts is in the morning when I wake up.  The girls are an instant reminder of my HRT progress.  Immediately I think wow,  is that really me? How wonderful is it I finally made this seemingly impossible leap in my life.

My next thought is I better thank the powers to be for my chance to do all of this and I do.

Different Language?

On occasion I sit in my Midwestern American environment and forget Cyrsti's Condo is on Al Gore's world wide web and I get feed back from the world!  As Gomer Pyle used to say "Golleee"!!
Vicky Woods, another one of our UK girls who stops by the "Condo"  passed along this comment concerning the use of the "Tranny" word as a gender slur in the Davina Willis video:

"I enjoyed that Crysti. I think that it shows the slightly different way in which we in the UK treat the word TRANNY. Although as a mtf transsexual it is not my favorite word it does not instill in me the outrage that an American would feel. I think partly because over here in the UK it is often used without malice."

I did a little further research on Davina Willis/Davina Moore. She works as a customer services adviser in Romford, Essex in the UK. No one seemed to know which direction she took in her life with a gender selection.

Thanks Vicki!

Been There...Done It

One of the most frustrating, destructive and disappointing times of my life were what I called the "middle years".  If I was to put a date on them, I would say from the time I was 25 to approx 50.  I fought as hard as I could to do anything to stay firmly in the closet and not face the truth about how I identified. Was I a cross dresser, transgender person or transsexual? I would not wish the process on my worst enemy but looking back, I can simply tell you, I got through it- worse for wear.

Along the way, even back in the day I did find a beacon of hope called Tri Ess. The organization which was so instrumental in getting me out of the closet has faded away for me but every once in awhile, one of you passes along a comment about "Tri Ess".. Recently,  Pat brought them up with this comment on her name:

"I sort of backed into my name when I joined Tri-Ess some 20 years ago. When sending in my paperwork I was surely not going to disclose my real name. After all before even sending them a letter of inquiry I went an set up a post office box for my T mail. When they asked for my name I simply looked at my initials and went with that as a first name and the name of a co-worker as a last name. When I first became active on the internet I picked a name based on what I saw in front of me at the time"

And Dear Abby, referenced them in this answer to a transvestite getting busted by his neighbors:

"Dear Abby: I am a happily married, heterosexual cross-dressing male. My wife understands and is supportive, and we have a wonderful life together. During the past week I have been caught unexpectedly by three different neighbors, and we are now in a state of panic. We're not sure what to do. If you have any suggestions, we are all ears. — CAUGHT IN A PANIC

 Dear Caught: Because you would prefer to keep your cross-dressing private and this is October, you could tell your neighbors your female attire is what you'll be wearing to a costume party. It's plausible. However, when someone is "caught" engaging in a private activity once — that's an accident. When it happens three times in one week, I can't help but wonder whether on some level you would like to be more open about your lifestyle.

 If you're not aware, a resource, The Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess International), offers support for heterosexual cross-dressers as well as their spouses, partners and families. It has been in my column before and is the oldest and largest support organization for cross-dressers and those who love them. It promotes cross-dressing with dignity and decency, and treats spouses on an equal basis with their cross-dressers. You can learn more about it at www.tri-ess.org."

The part of the answer which said,  "perhaps on some level you want to be more open about your lifestyle" definitely resonated with me.  I was crying out for help and no one was listening, not even me.

Transwoman Admirer out of the Closet

A very touchy (no pun intended) subject in the transgender community is how "male admirers" fit in, or don't.  It's a true, "damned if you do, damned if you don't subject."  If course a huge majority of trans women covet the attention from a man for any number of reasons. Some transgender women seek a male for companionship, or for validation or sexual needs.

Over the years though, the term "admirer" has been known in very negative terms. In my own life I can see why with my limited contacts with "admirers". Fair or not, the majority of my experiences were on line "back in the day" when I was seriously transitioning for the first time.  As I have written in Cyrsti's Condo, I tried to give each gender an equal look. Before I did anything in the process,  I had to get past the validation factor. Like any other cross dresser trying to "pass" over the years I fantasized about being on the arm of a man to further the process.  As I transitioned though, I wondered about a guy accepting me for what I am and vice versa.

Turned out, that was difficult. I went on a couple main line paid dating sites which were tough to navigate because of their lack of any transgender groups at all. In other words, their sites were set up in strict gender binaries only. Men wanting women, women wanting women, men wanting men etc. After a while I would change groups every week ago, because I could.  The results? Two one and done dates and numerous "no shows".  So you guess I can I'm reasonably biased against admirers and that is wrong. Why? Being trans I should be the last to  stereotype any other group, specifically admirers, as I read in this post from Salon called, "I'm attracted to Trans Women":

"The heteronormative world in which we live had successfully convinced me that being attracted to transgender women meant I had a fetish. I began questioning my sexuality and even my masculinity. I didn’t even know what to call my sexual orientation. Finally one day, after hours of searching, I came across two terms that described what I was feeling. Trans-attraction and trans-orientation.

Neither one is official or common, but their use is growing due to the increasing demand for a way to categorize people who are attracted to transgender people. When I saw these words, a feeling of relief washed over me: I was not alone. I don’t always describe myself as trans-attracted, but the label helped me feel like I had a place in the queer community and it helps others understand my sexuality."

The simple act of the matter is we probably are facing most of the same obstacles to relationships with men as genetic women.  The sexual tension is always there but how do you build a relationship around it? Talk to most any single  woman of any age at all and she will bemoan the lack of quality men in the dating pool.

The sad part about all of this admirer drama is we trans women do provide certain positives we can bring to a relationship. Which is another subject.

On the bright side Shelle, one of regular visitors here in Cyrsti's Condo, has a great success story I want to pass along.  She found a male type person in the most unlikely of places. Because she didn't quit. Follow the link above for the story. I totally respect Shelle, because I can't tell you how many other trans girls I have interacted with who told me they had tried all the sites I was on with no luck and they quit them.  Then they wondered why they were sitting at home by themselves - miserable.

One way or another, admirers represent a very unique dynamic in our community with their own set of gender/sexuality issues. Only they can decide if they want a transgender woman for more than a one night stand in a cheap motel. There I go with another stereotype, sorry!

Bikers and Breasts

Or at least Bikers and fake breasts in this case.  I have been looking for this "Sons of Anarchy" clip with Walton Goggins cross dressed as a woman for a while.  If you caught any of his thoughts on the whole scene, he had a fascinating look at how a group of male actors responded to him.  Many of them had even worked with him in the past and I can't remember who he said it was who truly came on to him.

Here's the clip on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen:

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"As you ramble on through life, whatever be your goal,
   Keep your eye on the quality, not on the toll."

Found on the back of a vintage restaurant menu from the 1940's.

Living the Halloween Dream

This experience goes way back into the days when I got out of the Army in the mid 1970's. I did what every other returning vet did (not),  used my GI Bill to get a second degree and bought a little bar with a friend.  My Dad came up with the classic quote about the bar when he said "At least it has two doors, so the flies don't have to stop when they pass through."

Of course I was into "warp" mode as far as my cross dressing activities were concerned. After years of forced depredation from anything feminine in the Army, the last Halloween party I went to before I got out primed the pump so to speak or the lipstick.

Last Halloween 

To put the time sequence in perspective, I was discharged in January, my first wife in March and we were married later that year.  I was out to her as a cross dresser and she made the comment (I have mentioned here in Crysti's Condo) that she really didn't know which one of me was going to pick her up at the airport.  She is a very good person, the mother of my daughter and we see each other and get along to this day...but... she is a just very easy going person. Sometimes I thought if I came home and said I'm going to go for SRS tomorrow, she just would have said that's cool dear. I know some of you will think,  "Wow, that IS  cool!" You have to understand me. If something is too easy then something is lurking in the shadows to nip you in the rear plus I had a very conservation macho family to consider too.

At any rate, Halloween that year turned out to be fun filled trip over to Columbus (Ohio) where one of the newly restored Victorian theaters was having a "Spook Out".  At midnight they were presenting the classic silent "Phantom of the Opera" with the restored house organ presenting the music. We went with another couple who were "kind of " in costume which I was too-mini skirt, long hair, heels, hose and all.

All these years later, I remember several things. First of all, this was one of my first experiences of feeling how uncomfortable an extended time walking in heels could be plus a mini skirt is wonderful to be admired in the mirror,  but took constant work to move in modestly.  Secondly, for the most part I wasn't even noticed at all because of all the other wonderful costumes. I still remember the guy dressed as the Pope, complete with two other guys following him in costume holding his cape.

As much of a rush these early Halloween's were though, the more painful they became later.  The next day I was already trying to figure out what my next cross dressing experience was going to be.  A very difficult process which made me a very grumpy person.  The problem was I knew staying home in front of the mirror in a dress just wasn't going to be enough and I had no idea of what enough may actually be.  So I took my "Halloween Fix" and moved on.

Cyrsti"s Condo "Horror Scope"

Here we go kids the latest "Horror Scope" for all you Libra's!

(September 23-October 22): There will be many obnoxious requests made of you this week, which will be killing your mojo. Yes, another person will be extra selfish these days and will overstep their boundaries more than once. So, pay attention to the lines they want to cross and start closing those openings. It doesn’t have to be for forever, but it certainly can’t be now.

You all are lucky, I have no thoughts about this "scope" at all. Just don't request any! lol! For your "scope" go here to theFrisky!

Cyrsti's Condo Shopping Tip

Many of us know the ultimate benefits of thrift shopping other than the obvious goal of saving money.

Thrift stores are places you can go where barely anyone notices you if you are shy and the prices are such you can "experiment" on sizes and styles which may look good on you or fit at all. I can't tell you how many two dollar clothing items I bought over the years which went back into a box and re donated  to the store.

I just subscribed to another fashion site called The Beauty Thesis and as luck would have it, my first email mentioned this:


"Ask an attendant where they keep their collection of designer jeans currently in stock (they usually keep them locked up somewhere up front so people don’t steal them and sell them for a much higher price). The attendant will let you try on any pair you like, and amazingly they always have plenty of different brand names on hand such as 7 for all mankind, Joe’s Jeans, True Religion, and I’ve seen a couple pairs of Citizens of Humanity jeans in there a few times as well. They’re not lacking on the sizes either!

 I was able to find and try on seven pairs of jeans in my size; a couple pairs of 7 jeans, a couple pairs of Joe’s Jeans, a couple pairs of True Religions, and a pair of Citizens that ended up being too short. That’s a rare occurrence for me because I’m only 5 feet tall! But, I guess that’s one of the downsides to buying recycled clothes, you have to deal with the possible alterations that have been done to them. Either way it’s always a steal if you can find a pair you like when the price range is only from about $20-$40 per pair. I found a $350 pair of jeweled “A Pocket” 7 jeans and they were only $18.99! So if you’re budget conscious, stylish and appreciate high quality denim, but would rather skip out on the high price then definitely consider checking out some recycled designer jeans sold at The Goodwill near you!"

As I always point out, if you are like me, there isn't a cold chance in Hades that any of the jeans she mentioned would fit me but I also know as transgender women or cross dressers we have to be better than genetic women in adapting to what we have to work with to even survive.  So I'm always looking for any edge I can get.

This is one of them!

Investment Property?

From QNews a chance for you to invest in a very interesting property:

Carmen

"The name Carmen is synonymous with the transgender world in both Australia and New Zealand. And now is your chance to buy into a colourful slice of history, the Dominion Post reports. The former brothel of Carmen Rupe, renowned drag performer, anti-discrimination and HIV/AIDS activist, is on the market. In her 1988 autobiography, Having A Ball: My Life, Carmen described the century-old home in Hataitai, Wellington as the “ideal place for the discreet entertainment of clients”.

 If only the walls could talk – rumours were rife at the time that MPs and prominent businessmen frequented the brothel. Several rooms were themed “to cater for clients' fantasies”, including an Egyptian room, an African jungle room, a bondage room and an Asian room fitted out with lanterns and bamboo curtains. Its days as a brothel came to an end in the early 1970s when a so-called “evil landlord” made Carmen and her “parlour maids” move out."

Around the World We Go!

Transgender, transsexual news and more from Cyrsti's Condo:

Vietnam:


Quynh Tram is one of few people who have ID cards re-granted after sex reassignment surgery.
This is actually a series of posts from trans news in Vietnam. Go here for more.








From Italy: "Paola Conte (shown at right) is a married transsexual and is a foster mother to a young daughter. She also has a distinguished career. She is speaking up against the stereotypes of transsexual women only as prostitutes and more here.

From the UK (of course!)
"A transgender woman has been expelled from her social club after an incident in the ladies loo. Hinoi Tonkin, who used to be 21-stone Keith but has slimmed down to nine stone, was already under suspension at the club. But she was formally thrown out after a meeting of the committee last week at Beechwood, Easterside and District Social Club in Middlesbrough." Go here for more.

I'm tired of all the traveling! Plus I'm sure there will be more to pass along soon.

This Blond is Having Too Much Fun!

This blond is having too much fun and looking real good doing it!  Check her out on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen!

Cyrsti's Condo Mystery Time

A couple months ago, I saw a person out of the corner of my eye who caught my attention. For some reason the gender picture didn't quite fit together. She was a medium sized woman with very stylish highlighted blond hair and from what I could see a fair amount of makeup but nothing overdone. The problem was she had a facial silhouette like mine, too much chin and nose. (I would love to be able to afford FFS.) But what I really noticed was quite possibly she was one of the worst dressed women I had ever seen. I'm fairly sure she was wearing a pair of old striped slacks my Dad threw out in 1971 and an old pair of tennis shoes I threw out five years ago.

I was in shock. I can count on one hand the number of transgender girls or cross dressers I have seen for sure in public. My first thought was, "I couldn't be seeing this person right" and as quickly as I saw her, she was gone.  We were in a huge box store and she seemed to be carrying one of those inventory checkers on her belt so I assumed she may be working there. Maybe she just started and was waiting for a paycheck to add a few clothes (which I understand.) Her Dad would have never missed those pants!

I really didn't give the moment much other thought except I was fairly sure she may be transgender and moved on...  Until a couple days ago when I saw her again. This time I was in a better position to take a better look. She was just ahead of me with a cart and being the "nifty" person I am, I was able to be in position to go by her as she turned into another aisle. She just smiled and said "excuse me" in a voice which could have been shared by half the other hard drinking/hard smoking 40 + women in this town. In other words very low and gravely.  This time she was dressed in a very loose fitting dark blue coverall type jumpsuit which many of the manufacturing people wear around here. Her whole image was very unisexish except the same hair and makeup.

By this time I was sure she was a transgender woman and set out to think why I didn't know her.  Finally my age abused mind came up where I did know her from and it was literally from the 1980's. I live in a town of about 80,000 and it's relatively hard to hide if you are trans and not super presentable. I remembered there was a person I met once who actually worked for the city here in town on trucks doing street work and I used to see working in her coveralls and makeup. That night I remembered her to be in a very tight dress and she was approximately the size of the woman I was seeing now.

At that point in time I was in my bomb shelter type closet and wondered from afar what her story was. The only info I remembered she said she was going to go through SRS at some point.

So now the whole deal  is my own little mystery. Does she still work for the city and that is why she dresses that way? Did she ever go through SRS?  Why does she dress like a guy from the shoulders down in very loose clothes and full makeup and styled hair which I think is hers? Is she wearing a Wonder Woman costume under those clothes and is actually a super hero?

I still don't know and my girlfriend essentially said if I was that nosy then why didn't I speak to her? Truth of the matter is I have always been petrified to talk to a stranger on the street I perceive to be trans. I mean, what if she isn't?

Who knows, the next time I see her I might hitch up my big girl panties and ask! But then again, what would I have to obsess about?

"Outta" Sync?

"Outta sync"

Over the years I have read theories on human sexuality which basically places all of us on a scale. As an example, one would be a 100% hetero person and 10 would be a 100% gay person.  The fun bunch exists somewhere between two and eight.

Less prevalent are the theories on human gender scales. Again, lets say a one would be a person who knows he or she is a he or she and 10 is the opposite. I would suggest the middle ground in this group is just being researched and living in the gender middle ground is no picnic in the park.

In my life, I'm finally beginning to understand what happens to me when I move about in the gender middle ground.  I call it "syncing up" and right now I'm just a little out of sync.  The worst part of being out of sync is I can't tell you exactly what threw off my equilibrium so to speak.  It's sort of like viewing the world without my glasses, everything is just a little out of focus.

Times such as this in my life, I think gender fluid fits me as well as transgender if you want to slap a label on all of this. Then again aren't they really the same term? Or better yet, who cares? Transgender, transsexual, gender fluid, cross dresser? Blah blah blah.

The only reason I do, is the sync makes me grumpy.  At times I think the spot I'm in right now is close to nirvana and at other times I get real impatient of whats going on and what should be next. Certainly HRT will continue to reshape and feminize my body but the bigger changes have slowed.

Could be the time of year tossing me out of sync too.  The fall season is a time of change and I used to feel deeper about the process because of the deep desire I had to for changing myself. Now I'm chasing shadows because I am changing.

The good part of sync is it normally doesn't take me a long time to refocus. I know for certain I don't fit in with the gender "ones or tens".  Every once in a while the middle ground gets a little foggy and it takes me a little longer to get my bearings and sync up.

Davina Willis

Excuse the gender slur but this video goes back to the year 2000 when Davina Willis won Miss Gay UK and "Tranny of the Year."

A Windy Blond

Amanda is getting her money's worth from her blond hair in this Cyrsti's Condo big screen video:

On the Job Training?

You regular visitors here in Cyrsti's Condo may have the idea I may be just a bit cynical.  Years ago at one of my jobs we referred to a "cynic" as a person with a PHD in sarcasm, so this story from Canada caught my attention from Montreal's CTV News.


"In the Plateau-Mont Royal De Lorimier riding, Coderre's team is running a lawyer, Bergeron’s team is running a school commissioner, Marcel Cote is running a real estate agent and Melanie Joly is running a transgender individual, who worked as an escort until last year.

Bibiane Bovet’s (shown above) avowed past as a worker in the sex trade created a stir Friday, as a scrum of reporters queried mayoral candidate Joly about her unconventional candidate. Joly said that she has known of Bovet’s background since they met earlier this year. She said that Bovet has no criminal record and that her profession is not illegal in any criminal sense."

Obviously, I have no horse in this race but the first thing I thought was - Why not? There are a ton of politicians in this country who have made a living off of screwing people?

The "Non Elite" Hate (oh) Eight

I already posted here in Cyrsti's Condo about  Barilla Pasta's recent homophobic stance and I assume transphobic stance too.


In the wake of Barilla's head honcho, Guido Barilla's homophobic and sexist remarks, a boycott followed, and we were once again forced to realize that some people just refuse to see everyone as equal. "I would never do [a commercial] with a homosexual family, not for lack of respect, but because we don't agree with them," the company chairman told Italian radio Wednesday evening. "Ours is a classic family where the woman plays a fundamental role.

 However, Barilla isn't the first company to express homophobic sentiments, and sadly, they probably won't be the last either. The United States Department of Labor may have ruled that all businesses in every state must provide benefit coverage for same-sex marriages, but that doesn't mean it's going to put an end to homophobia."

Of course their are many more companies which fall into the same category and you can go here to see them.   Some would be a surprise, some not.

By the way, here was my comment:

"Since transgender women and men were not mentioned here, should we assume these companies are transphobic too or are we just as invisible to them as we are to the gay and lesbian community?"

Hint**Even if you are in the closet, nothing is stopping you from steering any of your company catering away from  Chick-fil-A.

Top Womanless Beauty Pageant Scheduled in Thailand

Once again, Pattaya in Thailand will be getting its third transvestite beauty pageant. It's called the "Mimosa" and is scheduled for  Nov. 14-17.

This pageant is certainly no secret to most of us and features a wide range of cross dressing to transsexual women competing for the title. Often the beauty is breathtaking.

I'm partial to the event because of it's location too. I like to joke I'm one of the few transgender people I know who spent a year in Thailand and didn't go through SRS.  Then as in now, the Army sort of frowned on the activity. Plus, Pattaya was very close to a small Army base in Thailand which processed me in and out of the country in 1973 ish.  The word was then, as soon as the Vietnam War that never happened was over, the whole area would boom into an international resort. How right they were!

Saturday Morning Coming Down

Well, actually it is coming up if I could see it through all the gray clouds here in O-H-I-O. (Hell yes the Buckeyes play football today.)

In the meantime, there is tidying up to do here in Cyrsti's Condo.  There are more Halloween posts to write, some beauty tips to pass along and info on yesterday's visit to the endocrinologist. Plus, as you all know my old dog hinges her very existence on a daily walk. One look with those big brown puppy eyes and I'm melting, getting her leash and heading for the door. She figures it took years to properly train the human.

The "Doc" and his resident sidekick visit went well. I'm very sure I break the "monotony" of a resident's (doc in training) day following around the Doc.  How many transgender patients has he ever seen? Although yesterday I knew one other for sure as a transgender girl friend of mine had an appointment just before mine. I talked to her just for a bit and found out we both were diagnosed with high levels of estrogen. I cut a deal to back off from 6 Mg a day to 5 Mg but up my dosage of Spiro by 30%. Spiro cuts back on my testosterone for those who may not know. Other than that he read my blood work and figured I would live a couple more days.

 Purple MoHair Scarf by "LizT"

The beauty tips come essentially from idea's I on saw of Pinterest.  If you are not familiar with Pinterest, you can find essentially "Pins" of any subject under the sun, including fashion and yes, even cross dressers and transgender women. (We are everywhere!)

One of the fashion accessories I love are scarves.  A great scarf can add color or class to a drab outfit to be sure and I like them too because of how they look on a person of my height if I let them just drape over my shoulders and down my body. On the other hand, I can't tie them and make loops around my neck because I'm already too thick there and don't need the extra bulk. My girlfriend operates an Etsy shop called "LizTDesigns" and hand knits her own scarfs. (More hand eye coordination than I will ever have!) So if you have any sort of basic black or gray jacket you are pulling out for cooler weather, don't forget a scarf!

Finally, yes we do have more Halloween experiences coming up as the "bewitching" day approaches all too quickly. Even my lazy, non mouse catching black cat thinks it's her day!





 

Monica, Where Art Thou?

I love this idea/story from Halloween:

Unknown Lewinsky Impersonator

"My first Halloween outing, in fact one of my first ever outings, was in the late 1990s when the cosmos came together and I was by myself and able to dress and get out. I had a favorite blue chiffon dress with its own nylon inner slip. I wore it with black pumps and hose, a black wig, a black beret and I brought a box of cigars and went to a Halloween event at a straight bar/restaurant as Monica Lewinsky. I had a great night and there were a lot of girls there that were interested in chatting me up."  submitted by Pat.

Perhaps just mentioning Bill Clinton does bring up the idea, when you wear a themed unique female costume to a straight bar, it is a great way to meet women!
Also, if the idea was still current, have the woman in your life dress up as Clinton!

Halloween is like a Box of Chocolates

Halloween is like candy on Trick or Treat Night, you do never know what you are going to get.

This Halloween experience goes way back to the early 80's when needless to say I was much younger, slimmer and prettier. I had just married my second wife and talked her into moving to the New York City area sight unseen from Ohio to start a new job with another restaurant chain.

We were settled in and unsettled at the same time when Halloween rolled around.  Our relationship at the time was real rocky due to the fact I was still riding the "ego coaster" from basically having to prove I wasn't a genetic female to get into a "transvestite mixer" weeks before. I literally was torn in half by gender issues which made me an absolute bastard to live with. So, by the time Halloween rolled around, she basically kicked me out for the evening, slutted out and all.

As it turned out I was invited to go out with an assistant manager of mine and her friends. So why not? Mini dress, shaved legs, long blond wig and all, I showed up at the house where we were all supposed to meet. As I made my "grand entrance" of course the room got quiet. Who knows what they really thought until I said "Hi" in my very male voice. Then, it was my turn to be quiet as the three other women just happened to be dressed like me (and almost as tall) got up to leave.  Just for a second I thought I had died and went to cross dresser heaven and all this time it was in Yonkers, New York? Yay!

The place we were going was only about a block away so we walked it.  I remember the clicking of all of our heels on the pavement as we crossed in front of cars in an intersection in front of the bar like it was yesterday.  Quickly I lost any apprehension of how I was dressed and did my best to throw my shoulders back and blend with the other three. The Aerosmith song "Walk this way" comes to mind! Looking back on it now though,  the evening was one of the first ones where the rush of the clothes, wig and shaved legs faded quickly. I think I knew but didn't really want to acknowledge how natural I felt.

Once we got in the bar, the other three were quickly the hit of the evening and I tried to quietly grab a spot at the table, order a drink and enjoy the situation I unknowingly found myself in. I didn't labor under any ideas no one knew I was a guy but I did turn down two requests to dance.

All too soon, the "bewitching hour" was upon me and it was time to leave. The good news was the evening was incredible beyond all expectations. The bad news was once again I didn't do my relationship any favors. For you long term "Cyrsti's Condo" visitors you may remember the comment "be man enough to be a woman" from my wife which finally taught me a lesson. Did I want to move past looking like a woman to experiencing life as one?

As you have probably guessed then I had no easy answer to my gender questions and there were many lessons to come.  The story has a happy ending though as my wife and I were married for 25 years after that evening, until she passed away some time ago. She became more of a feminine role model to me than probably she ever knew.

Life is nothing if not just moments in time. Some better than others and the Halloween party that night exceeded all my expectations-even when my boss came up to me the next week and smiled slyly when he asked about my costume!

If You Don't Succeed...

If you don't succeed, switch teams?

From theFrisky

:


"You might recognize Elliott Sailors from her days of modeling bikinis and evening gowns. At age 31, practically ancient in the world of fashion, Sailors’ gigs started to become more few and far between. So, she made a bold decision to save her career: to start modeling as a man. Sailors’ buzzed off her long, blonde hair and started showing up to castings with her breasts bound, wearing flannel shirts, ripped jeans, boots and biker jackets. And, as you might guess from this photo, it worked. “I’m starting over to have a longer career. Men don’t need to look as young as possible, so I have a lot of time,” Sailors told The New York Post.

As counter intuitive as the decision may seem, Sailors’ said it was an easy one for her to make because she always thought she looked manly.“Earlier on in my career, I would get frustrated because I thought I looked too masculine. I have a strong jaw, wide forehead, huge eyebrows. I thought I looked like a man wearing makeup,” she said.

Sailors’ husband, who is totally supportive of her male modeling career, says that the only thing he didn’t expect about his wife “passing” as man was how people would see him differently, as the pair often get mistaken for a gay couple."

Now we need to see a photo shoot with Elliot Sailors and Andrej Pejic! (left)

Being Gender Dysphoric in a One Gender World: Before and After Pics - Almost 12 months HRT

Check this link out. She is just another extremely proud and out transgender woman!



Being Gender Dysphoric in a One Gender World: Before and After Pics - Almost 12 months HRT: Before HRT.                                                                            12 months HRT.

I Have a High Sodium Level

I am flat out salty.

Just when I thought I had seen it all with the latest incomprehensible disgusting display of incompetence out of Washington, here comes yet another answer to Fox News... America.Aljazeera.com.

By their own description they are touting themselves as a "Fact-Based, in Depth News Source". Of course they are! And so is Fox!  I did tune in last week and  I was impressed by the wealth of information I didn't know such as:  Native American's not being Christopher Columbus biggest fans or that  transgender peeps get "profiled" by certain American police forces. Really? Earth shattering news to be sure and now I will be waiting for their coverage of progressive transgender movements in the Middle East.

I wonder just what the hell all of you Cyrsti's Condo foreign readers think about what is going on here in the USA.  It's actually very simple, get the government out of the way with stupid shutdowns and incredibly poor leadership and we will be fine.

In the meantime, tune into Aljazeera for a look at a fact based news story based on what you already knew.

I can say one thing.  I'm glad I joined the American Libertarian Party and my Spiro low "T" meds also help control blood pressure.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho It's off to Halloween We Go!

In the Cyrsti's Condo mail slot I found a couple neat Halloween stories including this one from Carol:

"Oh my god this takes me back. I remember the first Halloween I went out dressed. I just loved it! I have always had a joking way about me, so I was pretty sure I could pull it off without too much suspicion. I was looking quite nice, if I do say so myself and I had a couple of guys offer to buy me drinks.

I was in university so free drinks were a good thing haha... however some suspicion was raised when I went to a second party the next night and some of the girls there recognized I was in a different outfit... that was a bit harder to explain... Thanks for writing this Cyrsti, it really brought back some fun memories :)

My pleasure Carol!

I have a similar story which goes back 196 years ago to when I was training for a major restaurant company in Louisville, Ky. The situation was the company was putting me up in a hotel during training and my almost supportive wife wasn't there. I was left unattended and as luck would have it, I actually got Halloween party night off. So I decided what the hell, I would slut it up and hit some of the big straight club parties before I made my way to the big gay venue in town.

Unlike you Carol, no one offered to buy me drinks but I do believe I was felt up under my short skirt by more hands than I ever thought possible. Plus that year I had no worries about running into anyone I knew. I would have to say if I was to do it all over again I think I would have spent more time in the straight venues which turned out to be infinitely more interesting than the gay one. Plus, as you alluded to Carol, there is always the chance a number of people will not guess your true gender in a straight bar Halloween party. In a gay bar everyone knows you are a cross dresser, drag queen or transgender. If you are really creative though and chose a current very popular female star to dress as in a  gay bar, you can have great fun.  I myself have just have never been good enough to work with any of the strong female characters of the day and make a decent costume.  Amy Winehouse and Sarah Palin come to mind as recent examples.

But I do have a creative idea for you and a friend this year on Halloween:

One of you comes as "Honey Boo Boo" complete with tiara and beauty queen sash. Definitely a costume idea for a gay venue! The other can do the drag queen deal on the right and come as two queens or even as Boo Boo's Mom. Just give out samples of toilet paper all night long.

Vintage Revlon!

Most of us are still in the embryonic stage when it comes to makeup and lipstick but many of us "more mature" transgender or cross dressing girls certainly do remember a few of the women we admired from a distance. Just because we couldn't wear their lipstick, we certainly wanted to!

 It turns out that over the years, more and more genetic girls we admired are resenting the fact their fave brands have disappeared from the shelves never to be seen again...until now. Read on:

The Revlon company just announced that in spring 2014, they will relaunch five of their discontinued iconic vintage shades. Revlon customers were asked to vote for the shades that they would like to see come back, via a Facebook poll.

Here are the nominees and the year they were launched: -Daredevil Pink 1972 -Icy Violet 1946 -Revlon Red 1988 -Snow Peach 1956 -Sandstorm 1999 -Sphinx Pink 1962 -Baby Berry 1998 -Fifth Avenue Red 1958 -Persian Melon 1957 -Jungle Peach 1963 After several months of voting the results are in! Next spring, the following shades will be relaunched for a limited time only.

Just think, a chance to relive a dream!

In Step with Trans Vets

The Transgender Education Network of Texas is looking for trans veterans to serve on a panel at the 2013 Outserve -SLDN leadership conference. TENT needs those who can attend the Oct. 25–27 conference in San Antonio and are comfortable telling their stories but is also looking for people who are not comfortable speaking in public to privately share their stories to collect for a “public narrative.” Although “don’t ask, don’t tell” ended for gay and lesbian service members, trans personnel may still be thrown out of the military.

For more information go here.

Halloween Treats

Recently I was out running a few errands and decided to stop at one of my favorite thrift stores to check on warm fuzzy sweaters to go with my boots and leggings.  All of the sudden I noticed a man and a woman in the shoe section, then the dress section, then the purse section and I thought duh! I know who they are shopping for. The bewitching or bebitching Halloween weekend is coming quickly and the couple was shopping for him. How cool! I always have a romantic spot for couples having quality time together, especially when he is carrying a black sparkly dress.

Of course I have my own fond, fun stories of Halloween. Many I have shared here in Cyrsti's Condo and many I have meant too but simply ran out of time or memory.

If worked correctly Halloween can be the time when we directly come out to the world, or tentatively test the waters.  My first "coming out" experience was a complete result of a Halloween party.

Over the years I have put together my own set of Halloween parameters:

1.- The first time you "knock em dead" as a Halloween beauty can be passed off as a fun game. The second or third time? Folks are wondering.

2.-The biggest costume "give away" is when you shave your legs. Everyone in the room knows you may have gone a "little too far",

3.-If you do it, own it. The experience is a wonderful beginning look at how men and women will treat you. Unfortunately, I've seen those who hide in the corner and not have fun.

4.-Forget about "passing"!  Unless you are one of the rare minority of cross dressers who is a natural feminine type, everyone is looking for a costume and you are in one!

5.-Halloween is a great time to "sort of/kind of" come out of the closet. At the least many of us are hoping against hope someone we care about will ask the right questions and we can have the right answers. You are dying to tell the world all of this preparation to look feminine does go deeper than what they may think.

In my case, Halloween adventures were too much fun and ended way too early but set me back years in my thinking. At most of the parties I went to there were many people who knew me well as my male self. The biggest "good news/bad news comment was: "you make a good looking woman".  Good news? Of course my ego loved onto the comment! Bad news?   In reality I know now I wasn't making anything.  I was simply taking my first transgender public steps expressing who I am.

The actual  good news was I didn't try to over think any of the Halloween parties.  I somehow managed to create a good time! (Of course I did!)

I promise I will somehow try to remember more of the parties and pass the memories along!

Example. One of the best costumes I have seen was years ago. A guy was doing "Elvira" and he did her really well in the wrong venue.  He was in a gay venue, had he gone to a straight venue I'm sure he would have gotten a great amount of admiration from the men! The shame was he seemed to not be with any friends and not having the best of times. Who knows, maybe "he" wasn't a guy at all?

Cyrsti's Condo Musical Interlude

We Got Mail

Actually this goes back a bit and I have no excuse except I have been chasing my tail and never catching it!

Our "Transition by Definition" post brought in several thoughtful comments including this one from Shelle who included a "Coming Out Day" response:


"I consider that I am in transition and likely always will be to the end of my. I guess making great fanfare of it just isn't a part of me so I mostly let coming out day go by with not much interest really. But yesterday I saw this posted on facebook by the person who runs the transgender program at my local pride office,and it made me wonder if this really helps or hurts our cause in general,as for me I want no part of it.

Skye Ashton Brown For NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY:
I'm a loud and proud queer – of the transmasculine genderfluid variety. I'm pan and I'm butch, a survivor and a fighter. I'm an activist for respect and a public disturbance. I'm in love with humanity and determined to end all oppression. I'm white and I'm purple plaid, I'm a fabulous glitter-spraying unicorn coming to public demonstration near you. I'm a partner and a sibling, a dog parent and a hopeful romantic. I believe in supporting bodies and bending minds and I don't believe in social binaries.

I’m a Marxist and the only thing in this world I hate Is capitalism because capitalism hates people. I don't learn books, I learn life and my life is your life since your life is my life’s advocacy. I’m a second generation American And a first generation revolutionary. I’m bilingual and bad at both languages and I genderfuck our fucked up gender binaries. I’m a radical feminist and demand radical change. I believe in body positivity and positively love consensual sex. I’m privileged to be able to come out! I hope you can, too. Either way, know that I love you."

Drag Queens at a Pride March

I agree with you Shelle but for slightly different reasons.  I don't understand this person's need to mix all of this into a great big blender and come out with political declarations from all ends of the spectrum's including ignoring the fact that radical feminism has led to mega hate and discrimination against the transgender movement. I also wonder in a Marxist state if you can be a "fabulous glitter spraying unicorn"?" Also, personally I spend a lot of time at Pride events explaining to people I'm not a drag queen like the unicorns on the right.

Plus Innis Annity commented on our "Beyond Transition" post:


"These examples you use never made it across the gender divide. They got stuck in "trans-land". This is why they are so committed to the "fluidity" of gender. They are neither male nor female, neither goose nor gander. They are 'forever trans*' on"

Thanks Innis! If we go back to the post and take a look, most of the terms came from the original author however I do feel you made a very good point and the term which comes to mind which became stuck was "transvestite"!

As always, thanks to all of you for reading and commenting! You are the best!!!