Sunday, November 30, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

KerPlunk! Another issue of our Sunday Edition has just hit your virtual front porch, stay in those fuzzy "jammies" grab a "Cup O Joe" and let's get started!

Page 1-The Week that Was-or Wasn't!  Looking back, my week was one of success's including an early week semi annual trip to my Veteran's Administration "Doc" and then of course Thanksgiving.  As I have mentioned, putting my positive exam aside, he has a transgender niece in Chicago, which gives him a bit more interest in my transition.  In fact this entire week, I ran into more peeps who seemingly wanted to learn more about me.  More on all of that later.

Page 2.- Girl's Night OUT!  The Rubi Girls (left) are a Dayton, Ohio based drag troupe  who have raised over a million dollars over the years for local Aid's Research.  Their shows are rare and more "productions" than drag show.
Plus, last night was the third time I went with my daughter and her friends. Again, more on that experience later.

Page 3.- The Back Page.  Actually, this could have been our lead story.  MTF transgender star Laverne Cox is coming to Wright State University (Dayton/Fairborn, Ohio) this Tuesday night.  Most certainly, I will be there and get back with you!!!!

So it looks as if I will have a lot of "catching up" to do with all of you!  Thanks for stopping by "the Condo!" Luv ya!!!!

Friday, November 28, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"

Your Credit is Good!

From our Cyrsti's Condo post "How Many Words IS a Picture Worth?

Thank you for your comments here, I just want to pass credit where it is due, the photo was taken by the brilliant Justin David

He writes, photographs, and performs his own work, indeed he is an all round very clever and very nice bloke.

Thanks Paula!!!!

Giving Thanks

Well, in my family, Thanksgiving Day has come and gone ushering in the commercial frenzy of Christmas (which if I live long enough, will start on Labor Day in September!) Yes, there was also the too bountiful meal with bunches of kids, way too serious discussions on politics and sports.

I have become in many ways the androgynous patriarch of the family who lost my significant inheritance in a failed business and a wife of 25 years. Nearly eight years ago, around Thanksgiving.

I used to be the "elephant" in the room with my transgender secret that most of the family thought they had an inkling of. In the past, I had a tendency to just be passive in my participation, not knowing from one year to the next when my androgyny would lead to a full time "hey look at me Thanksgiving."

The fun part this year was interacting with several of the older grand kids (12-17 year old range).  Of course I already knew how incredibly diverse my two oldest grand kids are but I didn't know about my brother's 17 year old grand daughter. Along the way, we were able to duck the political speeches and talk about her studies of different religions such as Islam, Buddhism and Hindu. She didn't know that in another life in Thailand, I was best "man" in a Christian/Buddhist wedding and considered myself "follower" of the religion until Liz began to interest me in earth based religions. As it turns out she hasn't been "polluted" by a parenting system who has encouraged her to think.

My 13 year old grand daughter doesn't say much but my 10 year old oldest grandson does...and stuck near my side most of the day.  To catch you up, he is the one who had a very out gay man for a fourth grade teacher a couple years ago. Not so long ago he proudly announced to my daughter how proud he was of me coming out as gay. My daughter said "not gay-transgender" and proceeded to explain the difference.  Fortunately, he seemed to become even more inquisitive about me.  Yesterday we had a quick conversation on a serious side about how he has ran into a few anti-Jewish remarks in his sixth grade class.  I said unfortunately haters are lurking around everywhere and told him about my encounter with "GSB" (gender slur bitch) as my example.

Being who I am too, I tried to get my daughter to let him and his younger brother come watch The Ohio State-Michigan football game Saturday with the family.  He would surely learn how hyper sports fans can reel off a set of cuss words in a record minimum time.  For those of you who don't know, "the game" is nearly a holiday here in Ohio.  As far as my leanings go, all you have to do is look at the picture above. It was taken last May at the Trans Ohio Symposium in The Ohio State Student Union with mascot "Brutus Buckeye."

So, today presents itself as a brief respite before "the game" at noon tomorrow and "the drag show" Saturday night.  More on that in a later Cyrsti's Condo Post!

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Wassssuppp! Doc?

I had my semi annual Doc's visit a couple days ago, and in many ways,  the check up was a wonderful beginning to my Thanksgiving.
Everything was fine. No sign of pre diabetes they checked for, all blood work cool-so-we could get to the "important stuff" - like getting my HRT meds renewed.

No problems again.  Whether a few generics like it or not-we do share certain potential problems with them such as an increased chance of blood clots and breast cancer. When we (as my Doc said) increase our estrogen and decrease our testosterone. Perhaps you remember, I went through two mammograms and know full well the risks of going off the deep end and taking too much estrogen. I can't stress enough how having a physician monitor your HRT is a big deal.  What you may consider too much of a good thing-can kill you! HRT alone will not give you those "DD's" breasts of your dreams.

Perhaps the most interesting part of my visits are with the rest of the staff in the small VA Clinic I go to. Yes, the same Veterans Administration which has gotten so much deserved bad press. I have never much of a problem with the Dayton, Ohio hospital of which my clinic is part of and as a matter of fact the former director here was sent out west to try to clean that mess up. Plus, with me, Momma Karma has stepped in with a little extra "smootch" as my Doc has a young transgender niece in the Chicago area! It's a small world.

I do have a couple of nurses I interact with on a regular basis, who at the least know of my medication therapy.  Almost the first question out of one of them this time was "did you change your hair color?" So being an exceedingly rare "one of those" (transgender woman) is a giant elephant in the room. An elephant which is always treated with respect.

It's no secret, without our health we are nothing.  So far so good with mine and I cherish it!  Well, almost. I'm not out running up and down hills everyday!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "I 'Doesn't' Know it?

His Mom got her way.After her son won this womanless beauty pageant, this Mom is thinking four things...
1.- So maybe this Isn't a phase?
2.- Is this why he "practiced" every night for a month?
3.- I hope Dad doesn't see these pictures!
4.- Damn! He looks better than his sister in her LBD!

How Many Words IS a Picture Worth?

I have been meaning to write a post "focusing" on pictures here in Cyrsti's Condo for a minute now. Finally, I'm going to try to make some sense of a complicated concept.

If you are like me, pictures don't really represent what I think I look like.  So, either I try to play with them or just don't put much emphasis on them.  Years ago, I think I could take a better picture than what I really looked like. As an example,  I have used a picture on the left which is actually 10 years old and quite possibly the most commented picture I ever put on line...but...presenting to the public in this outfit was quite a different story for several reasons.  The picture itself as you can see, is essentially what I call- a picture of a picture-taken from a mirror reflection. It wasn't a "fake", but an adjustment designed to garner all the false adulation one can get on line-which does us NO good in the public eye.

Now, lets take my "red" picture below for an example.  I was getting a little better with my "poor person's" photo manipulation.  It's a blurred mirror shot too...without showing the camera. Nothing new about the process, just check out the close ups of the famous movie actress's of the 1930's and 40's.

Bottom line though, although I did feel as if these pictures made me look better than I actually did, they were only moments in time.  My feminine life was maturing and I was moving on.

Now, let's get back to pix and one I originally saw on Femulate from Paula Goodwin (left).  I positively love this!  I see a proud transgender woman in her musical element and the strength in her eyes! I could go on and on about Stana's and Janie Black's photo's and not even scratch the surface of trans women who also are able to present themselves wonderfully with a picture!

As far as I go, I can only say, I'm kind of working on pix,  and was pushing my very talented and creative partner Liz to help. She took the easy way out and just underwent major shoulder surgery. So, she will be "one arm short" for a couple months.  Excuses-excuses!!!

Perhaps for the first time in my life, I want the special picture or to which represents my spirituality with nature, writing, inner self etc.  I actually thought about sending in a picture to Femulate-but decided I don't have one which fairly represents where I am in life. To hell with looks.  Sadly, the subject was send in your fave photo and I don't have one-yet!

Finally, here is Mandy! Rightly or wrongly, I always look for a transgender person's picture who is not in the same room all time or a motel room- like Mandy!   OK, I'm a photo snob!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Technically - It's Platinum!

A couple days ago, I wrote a post about my "gray" roots which my sister in law called "silver" and J. Alana commented:

LOL Cyrsti, technically it's Platinum Blond, best bet is not to fight it with a dark color. Instead try going with a blond shade with your next coloring.

I've had an ever increasing amount of platinum hear since my mid 30's. I went for my first color just last month. In this small town, they don't color men's hair, but I talked them into giving me some blond high-lights to cover the platinum.

Thanks!!!  "platinum" makes me feel better than gray!!!!  Ironically, last summer I did go with a progressively lighter blond shade to go with an overall chestnut shade of red.  Under the careful eye of Liz, when we went went this auburn (almost ombre) shade of color, my roots were very reddish.  All I really know is, I'm willing to trust others with my color (Liz) and she hit the jackpot on this one.  I have an experience to pass along from this morning about a conversation I had with my Doctor's nurse on what the color was-and she had tried to find it.    

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Gazing!"

After missing a week, we are back to checking what the astrological signs say about about our lives here in the Condo.  First off, my sign- Libra:

(September 23-October 22): It’s amazing how much you do know and how little you give yourself credit for it. Listen to yourself now. This is the time to step out and look at yourself from the outside in. When you embrace certain truths about your patterns, it’ll help you untangle messy connections that are trying to saturate your brain. Stop the madness now, as it can be a slippery slope.

Interesting! I have been accused about giving myself too much credit over the years on occasion!

Our guest sign this week goes to the Capricorns! 

(December 22-January 19): Restlessness can plague you at night, as darkness will bring out a different creature in you now. Instead of trying to fight the insomnia, dive into new obsessions, play new characters and let your inner werewolf howl. Not only are your odds high to discover a new level of genius within yourself, but there’s also a trippy feeling flying around your head now.

Cut it loose girls!!!!

If you didn't see your sign here, don't boo-hoo and go here to theFrisky to find yours!

Monday, November 24, 2014

This Says It All!

Thanks Bobbie!!!!

Proud to be a "Buckeye?"

Marcela Ohio

If you didn't know, I am from the state of Ohio also known as the "Buckeye State".

I have always been a fan of another Ohio - Marcela Ohio to be exact.  She is a gorgeous Mtf transgender woman, not from Ohio!

Sunday, November 23, 2014

The "SisterHood of the Silver Hair?'

If you have noticed my newest and (most popular) hair color is an auburn toned very dark brown.  It was all good until my sister in law Missy in all her glory said:  "Wow! I never noticed your new hair color included silver roots!"

After a brief pause and I skipped over all the cheap shots I could have come up with, I said: "Damn Missy! Those are not silver high lights! Those are GRAY!"

I don't know where I will spend all this silver I found!

FYI, I came up with title after Liz and I watched the film "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants." Tissue alert-do not watch this chick flick if you are on HRT without a box of tissues!

Master Mechanic?

It figures I ran across this article which fit right in with my recent "Mechanic" post about my basic style and how I go about it-after I wrote it.   I passed along five of my "basics" and forgot an important one- being allowed access to a dressing room to try on clothes.

I will say, I have never been denied access anywhere, but years and years ago, Lane Bryant used to discreetly move me to a secluded room.  I have always lived with the idea that me being green trumped me being transgender.  Most stores simply wanted my money.  In fact years ago, my daughter worked for "Victoria's Secret" and there was a regular customer who spent big money on the largest sized items they stocked.  Of course he wasn't too sly about who the apparel was for and most of the other clerks steered clear of him.  My daughter was on some sort of a commission and saw a monetary opportunity and tried to always wait on him.  This was way before she had any inkling of my cross dressing or later transgender gender fluxing. Similar to so many other issues we see in our community, it takes only one misguided bigoted individual to send an old issue once again into the public eye:

Recently, a major site took on the issue with these results:

Like a lot of people, my biggest fitting room worry is that none of the jeans I picked out will make my butt look good. But for many, that’s a microscopic concern compared to the potential human rights violation they might have to endure. For transgender individuals, having a store employee humiliate, dehumanize, or turn you away for simply wanting to try on clothes in their fitting room is a constant  — and sadly, legit — worry. Back in July, a transgender woman was expelled from a lingerie store in Austin, Texas. Earlier in 2011, another transgender woman was thrown out of a Macy’s dressing room for make the audacious and ludicrous attempt to just try on some clothes. To see how other mass chain stores dealt with transgender customers, Ashley Hoffman at Styleite cold called a handful of your (probably favorite) stores, inquiring on their transgender fitting room.

As my partner Liz (generic) just told me, this problem won't end until the world understands our interaction in the world is a gender deal and not a sexual one.  A penis in the closed dressing room next door in a woman's clothing store is not cause for a panic.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!!!" another Condo "Sunday Edition" has hit your virtual front porch!  Get your hot "Cup o Joe" ready and let's get started:
Page 1.- The Week that Was-or Wasn't?  The week past saw us discussing a "self professed" life long cross dresser bemoaning the fact we all are delusional fanatics who live in our mirrors and will never look like a generic woman.  It was quite the rant!  In sort of a reverse order only we dyslexics can embrace, I wrote an exceeding rare post on the mechanics (so to speak) on how I go about my personal feminine style and fashion.  Later today, I am going to add to it a link looking at how transgender or cross dressers are faring today in four of the major women's apparel outlets. 
Page 2.- The Polar Plunge and the Gender Flux?  Last week in much of the country, winter tore in to us and tossed any ideas of a gentle return into the ditch.  For me it meant a bit more "flux" back to my male being.  I needed his help (what's left of him) to assist moving a couple heavy vintage furniture pieces out of my old house before I list it for sale. I found out quite literally how the combination of my age and HRT has robbed me of a tremendous amount of any of the male upper body strength I used to possess.  It's a very simple deal-the decrease in size and definition of my biceps (which have given me the ability to wear sleeveless tops) equals a decrease in strength.  DUH! The problem I have is though, under bulky flannel shirts, jeans and an old Army ball cap, the perception the public still has is I still should have at least a little strength with my bulk.
Page 3.- What's Up Doc?   Coming up Tuesday, I am scheduled for my semi annual visit to my primary care physician.  To prepare, I had to fast on a diet of water for 12 hours or so and visit the vampires and provide a "sampling" of my blood.  One of the unfortunate traits I learned from my Mom, was the fine art of being a hypochondriac. So, when the vampire nurse asked me if I was diabetic, I said no, at least not that I knew of.  Then I began to worry if I was, would it have any thing to do with my hormone replacement therapy meds?  My partner Liz, knowing me too well, said no offense, they check people your age for diabetes anyhow.  Gee thanks!
Page 4.- The Back Page. As Mom always said, "Life is like a roll of toilet paper-the closer to the end it gets-the faster it goes!" This past week zoomed by too and now Thanksgiving week festivities are again almost upon us.  I know the holidays present a unique time (and not always a pleasant one) for many in our community. Here's hoping you are looking forward to a fun, loving and festive one! Thanks for stopping by Cyrsti's Condo.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

The "Mechanic's of Style?"

I'm always fascinated by the detail involved with a person's style and or fashion sense. How the smallest addition of an accessory such as a scarf, belt or jewelry can send the rest of your outfit into the dumpster-or over the top.

Earlier in the week we did have a conversation here in Cyrsti's Condo about the power of a mirror-good and bad.  Face it, if you want to do the girl thing, you have to have some sort of intimate relationship with your mirror.  Of course, if you let it-it will lie to you.  On the other hand the mirror is a necessary and even fun part of being a cross dresser and/or transgender woman.

For what it's worth-here are my basics, before I get to the mirror.
  1. First, who are you dressing for? I dress for women and to "blend". What will the majority of generics be wearing where I am going.
  2. Secondly, I consider if I can afford the fashions I'm looking at.  Normally no, but I have developed a very good system of "value/discount" shopping.
  3. Then, I have to consider if the fashion would look good on my body type at all, or if I would ever wear it.  For example, I may love a pair of business professional slacks or blazer but would never wear it.
  4. Plus, can I find items in my size.  I can't diet enough to wear many of the trends I see on pencil thin young models but I can adapt a variation.  A good source for me has been the "Fabulous after 40" fashion site.
  5. Finally, I try to maintain a basic wardrobe of seasonal "classics" which aren't likely to change before I can wear them out from use.
This is definitely a chic combo, leather jacket & boots with a pop of color. Definitely a #FallFashion must-have look!My biggest "guilty" pleasures though are accessories such as earrings, necklaces, scarves and purses. If there is any way to get your ears pierced-I would recommend it!  Somehow, I discovered I had a hidden knack for adding items to my outfits which give them a little pizzazz. 

Let's take this outfit to the left as an example.  I have a black leather jacket I bought in the spring at a deep discount price.  Scarves similar to this cost 1.29 at Goodwill (discount).  The top could be a "treasure" from the same store at 3.29.  The leggings I bought for 8.99 at a well known "Dollar" store and my boots are from last year. 

The positives for me are this look, "lengthens" me and deflects my thick upper torso as much as possible. Plus of course it keeps me warm and accentuates my legs and thighs (a positive.)

What I would not do would be to wrap the scarf like this and let it fall down the front of me.  I don't want to add more upper bulk and again lengthen my look.  The problem I have is finding tops which fall this far to my hips.

Finally, this is where my much maligned "too long hair" for a woman my age BS comes into play.  Again, I'm tall and can wear my hair longer and when it drapes over my shoulders it helps to cover my thick and short neck.

So, there you go kids.  I know I don't write much about my fashion and what I wear much.  That does not mean I don't take intense pride in trying to do it right.  It's just one of the "girl things" which are fun when it all comes together.  You can always blame your mirror when it doesn't.  I see plenty of generics who should too!

Womanless Beauty Pageant "Amateurs?"

GurlAmateur, by my definition means a person who does not seriously pursue a certain interest, job or hobby.  Ever sense Cyrsti's Condo hit the internet, the seemingly unlimited pictures we see at times of participants in womanless beauty pageants fall into a couple categories:  those guys who are truly cross dressing for fun  and those who just may have tried it before-or could again. 

Since rarely do we ever have an answer, sweet speculation adds a bit of spice to the process!

Womanless event

Gender Fluxing and Other "Stuff"

Such a week!  I went from leggings, boots and my fun new blue nail polish on Wednesday, to selling a couple heavy pieces of vintage furniture Thursday and back to my new green polish today. (Saturday)

The more I "flux" the harder it is of course.  At times, I think the whole process comes under the "cruel and unusual" punishment.  On the other hand, I know that there is little I can do about it except keep on doing what I am doing...and stop my whining! No problem I have ever occurred was solved by laying in a corner whimpering about it. 

I'm working diligently towards my transgender goals and that is all that matters- except the results from my doctor Tuesday.  My health is everything of course!

Plus, there is a veritable "ton" of stuff coming up before Christmas to do, including a Laverne Cox (left) appearance at a nearby university in  December.

Finally, as I think about it, what is a transgender goal anyhow?  Undoubtedly, a subject for a later post!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Left Over Coffee

Yesterday here in Cyrsti's Condo I re posted a comment Stana received on her Femulate site.  I can only speculate from afar on what motivated what turned out of be a very pessimistic one sided look at a cross dresser's life. 
One sided from the aspect (among other things) that pure appearance is the primary and only end goal to dressing like generics.

Paula Goodwin commented on Femulate and here with one of the most classic comments I have ever read about a trans girl's relationship with her mirror:
"There are now quite a few very good comments (including mine) on Stana's original post, so I will limit myself here. I generally now use my mirror to check that I have put things on in the right place, I then ask myself two questions, "Could I go to Tescos like this?" and my golden rule "Will I frighten the horses?"  (Every time I read this golden rule Paula, I normally almost pee myself laughing!)

There have been occasions in the past where my mirror has lied to me, the photos have told me that I got it wrong. As for the hair thing, oh if only I could."

And Mandy:  "Amen on the long locks, sister! The only real grief I've gotten about them (mostly when I was working, not much since I retired) was from "follicly-challenged" males - translation: bald or balding!"

True Mandy, a touch of jealousy may just be creeping in!  It's important to note though, form my angle, I never have taken my ability to grow all this hair lightly-until I have to go through the contortions to care for it!

I have an idea (of course) from where this person was coming from in my next post.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Some of the best things in life-are on the other side of fear."  Rusty Funk

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Mirror Mirror on the Blog

I had an OMG moment this morning when I read a comment on Stana's Femulate blog.

Here's an excerpt:

I am a life-long TV, so I feel able to comment. My advice to nearly all those who contribute to your blog is simple: Throw away the cameras and look long and hard in the mirror. Look at the women around you; you should blush with embarrassment. Cover your shoulders and knees and get rid of those “long luscious locks.” Very few women over 40 look good with long hair. None of you (and me) really look anything like women and that is a tragedy.
Stop being delusional. A mirror does not lie except at a fairground.

I think this comment is tragically misdirected on one hand but does have some socially redeeming value on the other.First the value-no you can't live in the mirror and expect to navigate the feminine world.    No you can't squeeze into the short skirt and 4" heels and shop at the grocery but if you do look around at the women around you-chances are you can make it happen. I would question the writer about the generics who don't fit his "ideal of a woman?"  Some of the most delightful women I know wouldn't make his cut.
I feel sorry for him that he has seemed to miss the whole point of this trip we are on. I know of course paths are somewhat different for cross dressers and transgender women but in my life, every "GSB" (Gender slur Bitch) I have encountered has been countered with five or ten wonderful people.
Sounds like he has let the mirror ruin his life.  He may be surprised at what the world has to offer for him!
But!!! I have to draw the line at my "long luscious locks". I have waited 60+ years for them, so come hell or high water, they are mine to enjoy!  

Cyrsti's Condo "OOOPPS!"

Brittany! You didn't tell me my blind date was with one of my golfing buddies!

Unidentified cross dresser

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Honey, You Won't Beleive This!"

Transvestite in a harem
Well honey, since cleaning out the attic was on my "Honey-Do" list, I found this old bottle up there. I started to rub it and clean it - and this genie jumped out and made me part of his harem! (Or, you came home early!)

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

I found this quote on Twitter from "My Daughter's Army"

Charles Manson granted marriage license to wed his 26yr girlfriend.17 States still ban same-sex marriage. Can we agree this is f***ked up?

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! And "Karma Speaks!"

In 2013 an Oregon based bakery ‘Sweet Cakes’ made news headlines when owners Aaron and Melissa Klein refused to make a wedding cake for a customer because they were a lesbian, siting ‘religious reason’ for doing so. The couple have since closed their bakery and now operate exclusively online from their home.
This week, however, they face a court hearing on October 7th, and could face fines as high as $150,00 that could leave them bankrupt. State investigators found that the case was a gross violation of the lesbian couples civil rights as Oregon state law bans discrimination against LGBT people in businesses.

**From "Planet Transgender"

I Painted my Nails for This?

Cincinnati, Ohio is an old Ohio River town built on hill after hill.  Much of it is scenic in good weather and hell in snow.
So, last night, Liz and I braved the snowy cold elements to go to the Cincinnati Women's Political Caucus meeting.  When we drove a half hour and were within sight of the church where the meeting was to be held-you guessed it- it was cancelled.
I'm disappointed I have no news to pass along from a trip into what I think could have been similar to walking into the "Lioness' Den." Sorry.
Pam commented:

Good luck Cyrsti!!! My experience with rad feminists was they could not hear what I had to say!! They were too busy condemning me!!

:-) Pamela

Thanks Pam and you too Mandy!  The height of hypocrisy would have been if I had been approached by a rad feminist-it would have been in a church.  SUPPOSEDLY a place of worship and acceptance.  On the other hand, live and in person, I'm a slice of fresh meat for someone who has built up a huge amount of unreasonable dislike from afar.

After all, who am I to disrespect the sanctity of being born with a vagina?

Monday, November 17, 2014

Trans Feminist?

Tonight as I wrote in a previous "Cyrsti's Condo" post today, I'm going with Liz to a "Cincinnati Women's Political Caucus" meeting.

Right now, I'm interested in exactly what it will mean to me as a transgender woman?

Number one, I know damn well, some of the attendees will question my right to be there at all?

Just between you and I, I know I do have a right to be there because like it or not for some of the more radical feminist generics, I bring a whole different view to the proceedings.

What's in it for me?  My future as a participant in a feminine world!  If generics are being increasingly violently abused, my chances of the same are even more so.  If generics go increasing underemployed and underpaid, then my trans sisters will be even more so.

What's in it for them? Just an ally who may have more insight than they want to believe?

I will let you know.

Cyrsti's Condo "Drag Queen of the Day"

Our feature "queen of the day" is Dorian Garcia:

Day to Day

I just read a post from Janie Black 's blog called  "Just Living Life." Essentially, what I got from her post was, just because she isn't writing-that doesn't mean something is wrong. Plus, (regardless of what some want to think) life goes on, for the most part unremarkable.

Good for Janie, a great thoughtful idea to pass along to the blogosphere. I totally agree, then again I don't. 

Like her, my day is very mundane, even though in a very different sense from my past.  I put on a pot o joe and am munching a piece of toast in my sweats, bundled in a soft blanket. It's 4 am in Cincinnati, Ohio and it's snowing heavily.  Tuesday and Wednesday our wind chills are expected down around zero degrees. My life is not so mundane though because, I'm freezing and it's not even really cold yet.  Mundane for me is knowing and expecting my reaction to the cold-primarily because of my HRT changes. (SO different.)

Then, however I don't want to sugar coat it, looking ahead at today, presenting my girl self to the world is a much bigger deal than my guy self ever was.  Years ago, my partner Liz asked me what kind of a girl did I think I would end up as?  Would I be a full makeup, perfect hair woman or a light foundation, lip gloss and eye make up woman? Or more or less? I did find out, and I am very mundane low maintenance girl.

Janie is right in this sense, my life is more mundane. I know what I will wear today and approximately how I will make myself up to do it.  I heard a generic say once, "It's just how she lives her life." My mundane now just takes a little more time, expense and planning. 

Being retired (kind of) also puts a different "spin" on my mundane.  If you read Femulate, Stana recently wrote about a new boss and a transgender coming out session with her. (Successful!) I'm guessing when she does it, Stana's "mundane" will be work/professional while mine today is running errands mundane.  I will do my writing, work on my on-line shops, head to the post office and grocery.  The only "excitement" will be tonight, when we are going to a woman's political "rally" of sorts tonight

So, my mundane today is boots, jeans, jacket scarf etc. 

Finally, I totally agree Janie's idea that if you all don't hear from us, the quick and easy assumption is something is wrong.  Ironically, I feel the same about many of you.  Through out the years, I have literally seen thousands "burst" upon the scene as cross dressers, transgender women or whatever and just as quickly disappear. (My Facebook account has to be the best example of this.)

Even more so, I love Janie when she comes up with a great idea I can write about, so I don't have to figure one out myself!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" Another virtual Sunday Edition has just hit your front porch!  Let's get started!

Page 1.- The Week That Was-or Wasn't.  We had a very quiet week.  Overall, we took another look at how some of us have transitioned so far.  Alexis Michelle commented it was all or nothing for her plan to transition in front of her family.  Others weren't so sure.  Of course it's a highly personal decision and totally different for each person involved.  Some families are simply better set up to handle such a momentous decision.  I believe another factor is how subconsciously a person has been projecting their true gender for years.  Over the years, I have heard stories from those who said the main reaction was, "What took you so long?"  Unfortunately though, most of us have buried ourselves so deep in the closet, none of that was possible.

Page 2.- Transparents.  If you haven't heard yet Transparent is an American  internet television series produced by Amazon. The story revolves around a Los Angeles family and their lives following the discovery that father Mort (Jeffrey Tambor) is transgender. I truthfully haven't seen much of it.  Just reactions to it, here and there which have been positive.  I also truthfully cringe when I know a critique of it is coming up as it was in another show I watch.  The show is called the "People's Couch"  which is exactly what is called: different groups of people sitting on their couches watching various television shows and comment.  (Including gay/straight and black/white peeps.)  Actually the reaction was good, even to the point of compassion. 

Page 3.- We Got Mail. I am not totally sure why I was sent this comment from a self described "American Man-Boycotting American Women".  Simply, he is done with American women and among other things calls them fat lazy, gold diggers.  He is a proponent of the ideals of a "foreign woman." I certainly don't buy into either stereotype but thought immediately of where a transgender woman would stand in his stereotypical broad strokes (no pun intended.) In years past, I have written my own lists of why trans women could and do appeal to American men.  The problem is, none of his - or my input can ever really fully discuss the sexual aspect.  Truthfully, it's too highly personal for me to even want to consider. 

All I can say is, in response to him is: I think in some ways he is right. Somewhere a generation of women in this country (can't speak for others) have lost the ability to teach daughters how to be functional women.  BUT! Men are no different and per norm, men are slower at understanding the nuances of a changing society.

Finally, over my lifetime I have known a few "foreign women" who, regardless of relationship, have been able to assimilate into American society. Also, a couple who couldn't.

Page 4.-The Back Page. Well, it didn't take long for winter to hit hard around here and we have our first winter storm warning tonight.  We have a new term this winter replacing the "Polar Vortex", the "Polar Plunge!"  Where ever you are, thanks for visiting Cyrsti's Condo!

Joe! Is That You???

Wow!  When you said you were going to be in your sister's wedding-you were weren't kidding! Isn't that the same dress you wore in the womanless wedding pageant? Did you really catch the bouquet?

One of the girls - a male bridesmaid

Cyrsti's Condo Trans Woman of the Day

Our feature cover today is Paris Brooke Duvall a transgender MtF woman - one example (of many) of a person who transitioned and does look like a generic!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Womanless Pageant Fave"

Transgender Violence

Don, passed this along to me and indeed I had seen it from my Trans Ohio connections but have taken until now to post it here on Cyrsti's Condo:

BRAVO is Issuing the Following Alert for the Safety of the
LGBTQI Community of Central Ohio

BRAVO has recently received multiple reports of anti-LGBTQI pick-
up related bias crimes. The incidents have occurred while meeting
people using the website Adam4Adam and potentially other dating
service websites/apps (i.e. Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, etc.). At this
point it appears that assailant(s) are contacting individuals
online and upon meeting, are robbing them and/or burglarizing
their home. BRAVO has good reason to believe that these attacks
are anti-LGBTQI motivated.

If you have been the victim of, or are aware of, similar assaults
please contact BRAVO (614-294-7867) or the Columbus Police
Department Sexual Abuse Squad (614-645-4701).

For further information BRAVO, can be reached at 614-294-7867 or
866-86-BRAVO. All reports to BRAVO are confidential and may be
made anonymously.

Thanks Don!  I think the important point to be made here is that even though this alert is for Central Ohio, the message is for everyone-everywhere.

The threat of violence has been and will be a real threat for anyone in our community...lets be careful out there!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"


"Fade to Grae?"

Recently, I presented a "Flashback" post and photo on female impersonator Grae Phillips (left) who, according to Cyrsti's Condo visitor:Lynn Davis  who commented: "Grae just sort of vanished."

Indeed Lynn and here is what I think happened. 

From the very beginning, Grae was a drag queen who could sing and perform as a woman, rather than a parody. Good enough to parlay her act into a singer for a real group or band.

 By then, Grae was in a prime spot back then to cash in on the "real life Tootsie" idea as well as the "explosion" of talk shows eager to "expose" any cross dressing issues.

Today, all I can find is a series of sales pitches and old videos of Grae as a woman and a man.

I have also considered Grae was sort of a womanless beauty pageant winner who hit the mainstream and disappeared just as quickly when the beauty and fame began to fade.

If anyone else has any other facts or ideas, please let us know!


Friday, November 14, 2014

The Beauty of Chaos?

Continuing on our brief discussion into Gender Flux and the science of "Chaos" Pat commented:

It was the chaos that resulted from mutating genes that propelled evolution through the ages. The theory is valid. Chaos will keep people engaged and will allow what may not be considered status quo today to become acceptable and become status quo in the future.
You and the others you mentions on the edge of the knife cutting a path forward.
Good observation and keep up the good work.

Thanks Pat, as I said, somehow I was "born to chaos" and gender just has always seemed to be a huge part-because of the basic insecurity it causes in human nature.

Changing the discussion further are the believers that the inherent weakening of the male "Y" chromosome will happen over the evolution of the human race (no time soon) leading to a genderless race.  Or those who believe in all the genetically or chemically altered food is altering the genders too.
I fairly sure at my age, I won't see much of all of that happen if it does, but I do know the younger generation approaches the aspect of gender differently than mine does.  To the point of being brain washed by narrow minded- scared parents.

The problem I have is stereotyping who will accept my transgender status.  For example, I was caught by surprise by "gender slur bitch" when I would expect it from a group of rednecks.

Such is the beauty of chaos as a science?  It's the inner beauty that counts.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our cover feature person today is Danya Khalabuzaris, androgynous MtF model.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Flash Back"

Grae PhillipsGrae Phillips was one of the first glamorous transvestite/female impersonators I saw back in the 1980's on talk shows such as Phil Donahue. As I remember it, Grae's story was he couldn't make it as a male singer in New York, happened (??) to discover he could be a very convincing feminine singer-with a very convincing look:

Gender Flux

As I was waiting for the surgeon to work his magic on Liz's shoulder, I devoured a couple copies of a magazine called Fast Company. 

In particular, an article about Generation Flux.  It's less a demographic designation than a psychographic one: What defines GenFlux is a mind-set that embraces instability, that tolerates—and even enjoys—recalibrating careers, business models, and assumptions. Not everyone will join Generation Flux, but to be successful, businesses and individuals will have to work at it. This is no simple task. The vast bulk of our institutions—educational, corporate, political—are not built for flux.

I thought quickly-the world is definitely not ready for gender flux - or is it?  I was also impressed with the fact there is a mathematical discipline called "chaos theory" for people like me who unknowingly embraced a form of chaos my entire life.

Taken on a much broader scale, the future is a very scary place for most.  And, as transgender women or men (and cross dressers who take on the appearance of their non birth gender) it's significant we are beginning to take our rightful place in all of these changes.  Plus, as the article said, the successful people and institutions in the future will accept "flux." It's already happening now with our youth and their approach to gender. 

Through chaos comes change and for all of us working at Gender Flux Ground Zero. ( Pat, Mandy, Stana, Janie, Jen and so many others.) We all know it is not for the faint hearted but we have a huge chance to make a positive change.

The world needs to experience gender flux as well as all the changes society is going through.  Welcome to our world!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Gender Slur Bitch II

Thanks all for the quality comments about the generic lesbian who sought me out for a slur:
From Jen Smith:

Has this 'gender slur bitch' forgotten that gays and lesbians used to be ridiculed, humiliated, and excluded from attending "mainstream" events, bullied at school and in public, beaten, and so on?????

Oh.... wait.... they still are.... too.... Just like she did to you.

Grrrrrrrr!!!! Blood boiling over!!!!!


It is sad that a group that would demand equality of treatment and opportunity would turn around and cut down and cut off others that are only seeking similar equality. It is hard to tolerate bigotry. Since Liz is a member she should be afforded the right to associate with whomever she pleases.


Maybe it's because we are all musicians, but the everyone in the LGSO and LGSW are fully accepting of each other regardless of sexual preferences, gender identity skin colour or indeed anything else except technical ability

Paula, I do think it is important to note the woman I encountered was not the "norm" in the group, although I'm fairly sure she is one of the "lead dogs." As a group though, we do know there is quite the vocal group of radical feminists who are militantly opposed to any transgender gender ideas.  Maybe "gender slut bitch" is one of them.

Pat, you are right and I told them, why are they discriminating against one of their "own" regardless of what they think of me. Never got an answer. It's important to note Liz was only looking for a group of open minded "like thinking" women.

Jen, I'm going to be kind and say "GSB" has not forgotten and decided to establish her own social circle of those socially abused in a similar way. However, she is stuck in some vintage "Little Rascal's" comedy short where the girls had one club and the boys had another.  So, not being invited to either, she started her own exclusive club. Unfortunately, GSB hasn't realized the world is changing.

By the way, the group sent out invites to a political meeting Monday and Liz responded "I was considering coming, but my transgender partner was made to feel unwelcome."  We will see how far this will go!

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

That's NOT My Daughter

Today was my partner Liz's shoulder surgery so we packed up too damn early to spend five fun filled hours in a hospital outpatient surgery center.

Very quickly, she was checked in and I was left to my own devices, which sometimes is not good.  I was on my best behavior though and was concentrating on my breakfast sammi, coffee and magazine.  The place was empty until a 40 something couple came in with a early teen kid with long straight hair who I assumed was their daughter. "She" had her arm wrapped and shortly went back to see the Doc's.  Mom came back out and sat close enough for me to comment on how much I liked her boots and what happened to her daughter? She just smiled and said that's my son.  We get that a lot (gender mistake) of that with him because of his hair.  Of course I said "that's cool!" 

At that point she asked who I was there with and I said my partner and it was their turn to be surprised.

Seems like it was just a week ago when I ran into a similar situation.  (Check back to our Cyrsti's Condo post-Open Mouth-Speak Diversity.)

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Gazing"

Your Friskyscopes For The Week Of August 25-31, 2014

This week, the star's managed to settle down a bit after last weeks' high energy "Friskyscope" for all of us Libra's everywhere!

(September 23-October 22): If people can’t get your sense of humor, accept it and move on. Forget trying to be friends with everyone now, because that would be impossible. Know where you belong and be willing to stay fluid, as in feeling out the right people to be around. No more being lazy about where you place your energy — forcing a square peg to fit a round hole won’t be worth it.

Humor so dry it was born in the Saharan Desert mixed in an oasis of sarcasm describes my sense of humor-so I guess this scope fits!  Now for our guest sign this week!

Capricorn:  (December 22-January 19): You’ll have nothing to complain about now. Mysteries of the universe will seem to simplify and be much easier to control. Hell, you won’t even care for the flaky people in your life muttering about the garbage they usually do, as you will have a divine attitude about life and there will be nothing that can take you down.

Don't boo hoo if we missed you! Go here for more!

Best of the Best?

Miss International Queen 2014 Isabella poses with runners-up Miss Thailand and Miss Laos.

From Gay Star News

A 22-year-old Venezuelan on Saturday night was crowned Miss International Queen in Thailand at the world's biggest beauty pageant for transvestites and transgender women.

Isabella Santiago beat 21 other contestants from 18 countries to win the title and 440,000 baht (US$12,500) in prize money in the resort town of Pattaya.

The winner can also opt for a free cosmetic procedure, including gender reassignment surgery. Miss Thailand Nitsa Katrahong was named first runner-up and received 150,000 baht (US$4,575) and second runner-up Piyada Inthavong from Laos took home 95,000 baht (US$2,900).

Monday, November 10, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman" of the Day

Thai mtf transgender beauty
Chakkarin Singhannuta

More Ways Than One to Beat a Bigot.

Perhaps you remember the experience I passed along from the huge lesbian dance my partner Liz and I went to recently.  The evening provided me with one of the rare moments when someone sought went out of her way  to gender slur me.  L:iz learned about the dance from a semi regional lesbian group around Cincinnati who has many events.  One of which is being part of a woman's interest writer's group.  The group is meeting next weekend and Liz wanted to know if I wanted to go.

I went to the site and before I could even check the event out further, I couldn't until I was accepted as a member of this lesbian group.  At that moment, I figured that wasn't happening...especially I believed gender slur bitch was one of the "lead dogs."  As I normally do, I thought what the hell and applied anyway. My answer came back quickly REJECTED!  I went through the usual emotions of being hurt - then mad-then calmed down and noticed how I could contact them-and I did.

I simply said, my application was based upon my lesbian partner's preference and my only real "need" was to be with her.  I couldn't care less what the rest of the group thought about me but it was wrong for whomever it was to seek me out and trash me. I wasn't "crashing the party" I paid my 15$ and was there with my lesbian partner who wanted me there. My final question was, I guess I would not be "allowed" or welcome to accompany her to future events.

Another answer came almost immediately from a person who threw the "group leader" under the bus and said it wasn't up to her to reject me (the lead dog did) but most certainly I would be welcome in the future.

Finally, Liz was going to pull her membership immediately, which I said don't do it. I will explain- and this morning, mysteriously , I began to get the groups emails.

Certainly, I don't have a huge ego stake in this deal but I do have a stake with a trans woman being rejected and gender slurred in a group.  It's their little club and who ever they want to keep out is their business but just don't hide behind some cheap gender slurs or passive aggressive BS. So I told Liz, any event she sees and wants to go to, contact the group and see if I am "allowed" to come.  Sooner more than later, one of us will get a dialogue.

In reality, this whole deal reflects on Liz more than me. Why is she (Liz) being discriminated against because of her transgender partner and how hypocritical is that?

As I said, none of this was totally unexpected to me. I figured I was venturing into a tough part of the girls's sandbox. The whole deal begs the question-which group gay men or lesbian women are capable of hurting us the most?

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Woman" of the Day

I've never seen a diamond in the flesh

ShhhOn Pinterest I came across Scarlett Jones or vice versa. I really admire her androgynous semi goth style!

Take a look:

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" another Sunday edition of Cyrsti's Condo has just hit your virtual front porch! Let's get started.

Page 1.- The Week That Was- or Wasn't.  My "Merging" post elicited several thoughtful comments, from regulars such as Pat, Alexis Michelle and Mandy. Among other things, several coming out experiences were shared and I urge you to back track on the blog to take a look if you haven't.  My take on it was (or is)  I still have too much baggage I carry with me when I'm dealing with generics.  Often my assumption is, right or wrong, they know I'm a transgender woman-or even care.

Another fun, thought provoking post was called "The Pill" and was based on a question of- if you had access to pills which would erase all maleness or femaleness forever in you, would you take it?

Amanda commented:  It was so many years from the moment I put on my first dress with my sister, That thought that I was a girl has never changed ,,I am Amanda ,being a libra ..most likely the white pill ,but would love to have tried the pink Love

Thanks Amanda!

Page 2.- Same Sex Marriage.  More than likely by now, you have heard of the latest circuit court of appeals decision which upholds the ban on same sex marriages in certain states (including Ohio where I live.) What the decision essentially does is make sure the issue makes it to the "Supreme Court" for a "final" nationwide ruling.

In the meantime, I was able to use the news for a little "discussion"  leverage with a couple of my lesbian friends.  One of which was giving me grief about transgender service member equal rights. I was talking about how incredibly wrong it is to legislate who should marry whom. Somehow, the conversation shifted to how I didn't have to "worry" about it anyway like the transgender Russian Bride (blond) above.  Either of us can still pull out our "male" birth card and dodge the system.  

Of course I said you (my friend) are presuming I still want to use that male card but are forced to and what does that have to do with me supporting same sex marriage?  Forget about the loosely tied together TGLBQ groups, isn't it the right thing to do? Just like extending rights to transgender military members who fight on the front lines for all of our rights?

About that time, the other two members of our party (one trans woman-another lesbian) were expecting the fur to fly but we moved on to important? topics such as motorcycles and football and all was good. 

Page 3.- Veteran's Day and the Radio.  Out of the clear blue sky, my name went bouncing through the equality group in Ohio and Indiana working for same sex marriage laws and Bingo! Yes I am a transgender vet and yes I would speak about it on a local radio show.  I did a phone in interview a couple days ago and since you all know I am not real shy about discussing issues-if they were able to use any of my interview it would be on today.  I will let you know!

Page 4.- The Back Page.  I hope you all had a good week last week and I am sending out vibes for another good one for you this week!  Thanks for stopping by "the Condo".

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Raquel LargoFrom Hawaii News Now :

15 year old "Raquel Largo is transgender and says, "Now I can show my true colors and who I want to be."
Raquel's mom told us there were early signs. "Yeah, sure" said Lena Leopoldo. "He wasn't into boy things."
Transgender is defined as "being a person who identifies with or expresses a gender identity that differs from the one which corresponds to the person's sex at birth."
Lena said, "At first it was wigs, then slowly and surely the make up came in and then the whole yeah."
She supports her son's choice to live as Raquel, but still struggles with the name. Lena said, "It's always Royce and I don't know how to say the girl name. So she accepts it though."
Royce's dad was another story. Raquel explained her struggle this way: "I used to hide when he would come to my house because I felt he wouldn't accept me and that he would discourage me."

On The Pill?

Recently Frock Magazine's Katie Glover brought up a rhetorical question on the "Gender Society" Facebook site. .  If you had the chance to take separate gender pills which would once and for all decide your fate- which one would you take?

The choices went something like this:

Pink Pill.- You would become a young pretty girl and live your life as a woman.
Blue Pill-  You would stay a guy without the burden of wanting to become a woman ever again.
White Pill- you stay as you are as a transgender person.

Of course, being a Libra I chose to pull out my scales and weigh out the issue and of course over reasoned it quickly.

Here is what I came up with...I flushed the white pill immediately.  No matter how I feel about my life as a transgender or gender fluid person now (and am even discovering some benefits to it)-I wish no one having to take the path I did.

Surprisingly to me I would have taken the harder of the two gender pills-the female one.  The easy way out would have been the blue, which I will explain. Being a generic from birth I think would have put me directly in the path of trying to live up to the imagined expectations of my Mom. I know, she expected a ton from me as a son, but it would have been worse as a daughter. Plus, I think very simply, girls have more layers in their environment to learn and deal with than boys. Plus females are the high maintenance gender physically of the two binaries.  There is more that can go wrong in the plumbing and wiring.

Having written all of that- STILL give me the pink pill!

Finally, the Blue Pill.  While I still think the concept of "Male Privilege" was a farce for me-the demands of growing up male ended up being a lot less.  I grew up in a family dominated by macho males and I found out early how I could play the game-if I wanted to or worse yet had to. Plus how much easier would have it been to wipe out all the stress and tension of wanting to be a girl?

All in all, what a wonderful question and one that I guess has been floating around for some time.

Which pill would you take?

This Kid Cleans Up Well!

 It's not often I run into a "before and after" womanless beauty pageant picture like this one!

Cyrsti's Condo "Trashy Trans Bitch" of the Year?

Transgender woman Ava Sabrina London (left) has to be right up there!

She is the one who allegedly hooked up with white trash ex playmate Kendra Wilkinson's hubby Hank Baskett when she was preggers.

That's what Hank gets when a plastic "babe" is on the prowl looking for PR and he has had toooo much tequila.

Hey, at the least, he couldn't knock her up too!

Wow! I kind of like this gossip re-reporting! Where are you TMZ!

Friday, November 7, 2014

Summer Job?

CrossplayerWhat can I say Mom, the summer construction job didn't quite work out!

Cyrsti's Condo "From the Hart"


Yesterday was a prime example of the world closing in on me-or the opposite.  I went early to the convenience store down the street and the deli to run my errands and I just didn't bother to tuck my pony tail out of the back of my ball hat and (quoting Crosby, Stills  Nash & Young from Almost Cut my Hair Today) - I let my "Freak Flags Fly" although I inserted "Trans Flag."

Predictably, I had a couple **generics who wanted to chat about it and I was just tired of making excuses about how I came to have all this hair, and we exchanged ideas about the seasons, styles and colors.  On the most basic level, both of them just knew I had entered their world of expertise because surely guys can have the amount of hair I have around here, but few color it as I do and even fewer on a seasonal basis. Paraphrasing what Pat said in a comment about me in another post, yes I am one of the peeps in the "social" category and those two women probably couldn't care less if I was transgender, gender fluid, androgynous or gay.  That is my cross to bear and it is getting heavy so I am into my own "Don't ask, Don't Tell and Who Cares?" mode.

It's just another instance of closing one gender life and beginning another - on my home turf. (Which I never set out to do-I wanted to do it elsewhere for the most part). But why not? Destiny ultimately pushes us in one direction or another and she gave me a giant push!  I dislike it so though when she gloats and says, "I told you so-dummy!"

**generic- born female

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Sugar Buzz?

I have a couple dear generic friends who have dealt with weight problems as women most of their adult lives. In fact one of them who reads the blog is a pound short of losing 200 pounds!!! Wow Yay!!! Min! (And a totally sweet person.)

When I whine and cry to my partner about being the cause of a "whip lash" neck injury or a facial smirk to a generic; on occasion she will say "I know, I have been an over weight woman-shut up already!" I understand a lifetime of insecurity about my looks!

Of course she is right and we go on with our lives, with or without the world.

The appearance topic is one I will be discussing here in Cyrsti's Condo and in a couple of my Frock Magazine articles. If you are considering a gender transition, how much will appearance play into it?  To put it bluntly, most of us will never be able to achieve a very high level of feminine beauty.  But-if that is all you are after, stay where you are in the system.  After all, jumping from being a cross dresser to a transgender person is a big move and one I would argue has nothing at all to do with appearance.

For what it's worth, here is the path I used.  Very early in the game as I started to venture out, I just wanted to see if I could navigate the feminine world at all.  I found I did have an innate sense of my own style, dressed towards it and managed to blend.  I found that shopping and "walking the malls" looking at myself in mirrors was OK-for awhile.  When I started to interact with the public was when I began to discover how natural I was, or could be. I called it "jumping out of the mirror and into the world."

The process was intensely personal, euphoric and painful at the same time.

If my generic friends were writing this, or if my deceased wife was "ghost writing it", they all would say mere appearance is a shallow gateway into the girl's sandbox. Embracing the layers of a woman's existence is a whole other experience!  Easy to get all dolled up and get your sugar buzz on in your heels and hose princess, but what happens after the buzz? I am so not in to telling others they are right-but they are.

So, if you are considering transitioning, have fun and enjoy the girl part of your appearance but just remember- the sugar buzz always goes away after you have eaten cotton candy and the real world is waiting.

Dealing With Trans Rejection

Image from Jakayla Toney on UnSplash. Similar to so many transgender women or trans men, I have dealt with my share of rejections.  My first...