More Ways Than One to Beat a Bigot.

Perhaps you remember the experience I passed along from the huge lesbian dance my partner Liz and I went to recently.  The evening provided me with one of the rare moments when someone sought went out of her way  to gender slur me.  L:iz learned about the dance from a semi regional lesbian group around Cincinnati who has many events.  One of which is being part of a woman's interest writer's group.  The group is meeting next weekend and Liz wanted to know if I wanted to go.

I went to the site and before I could even check the event out further, I couldn't until I was accepted as a member of this lesbian group.  At that moment, I figured that wasn't happening...especially I believed gender slur bitch was one of the "lead dogs."  As I normally do, I thought what the hell and applied anyway. My answer came back quickly REJECTED!  I went through the usual emotions of being hurt - then mad-then calmed down and noticed how I could contact them-and I did.

I simply said, my application was based upon my lesbian partner's preference and my only real "need" was to be with her.  I couldn't care less what the rest of the group thought about me but it was wrong for whomever it was to seek me out and trash me. I wasn't "crashing the party" I paid my 15$ and was there with my lesbian partner who wanted me there. My final question was, I guess I would not be "allowed" or welcome to accompany her to future events.

Another answer came almost immediately from a person who threw the "group leader" under the bus and said it wasn't up to her to reject me (the lead dog did) but most certainly I would be welcome in the future.

Finally, Liz was going to pull her membership immediately, which I said don't do it. I will explain- and this morning, mysteriously , I began to get the groups emails.

Certainly, I don't have a huge ego stake in this deal but I do have a stake with a trans woman being rejected and gender slurred in a group.  It's their little club and who ever they want to keep out is their business but just don't hide behind some cheap gender slurs or passive aggressive BS. So I told Liz, any event she sees and wants to go to, contact the group and see if I am "allowed" to come.  Sooner more than later, one of us will get a dialogue.

In reality, this whole deal reflects on Liz more than me. Why is she (Liz) being discriminated against because of her transgender partner and how hypocritical is that?

As I said, none of this was totally unexpected to me. I figured I was venturing into a tough part of the girls's sandbox. The whole deal begs the question-which group gay men or lesbian women are capable of hurting us the most?

Jerry "Springs" Forward Past Rude

Did you see this?

 In a surprising move, controversial daytime talk show host Jerry Springer has announced that he will no longer be using the word "tranny" on his show. In an interview with TMZ, Springer responded to criticism over a recent episode of The Jerry Springer Show titled "Trannies Twerk It Out," telling the gossip site, "I've just been educated." "I won't use that term," Springer continued. "I honestly had no idea that you're not supposed to use that term, so now we'll find another term to use."

That's his excuse and it's great he has dumped the term.  Now what about the transpobic Rude Paul?  The obnoxious cis gay man is still carrying the banner saying it's OK to use a gender slur.

"T'd" Me Off

An article from the Huffington Post recently had me thinking about a recent experience with a guy using the gender slur Tranny with me.  For reasons he would not admit to, a guy showed up in one of my "Google+" Transgender groups. Of course I couldn't let it alone since the original post was referring to the well worn subject of why transgender women carry the stigma of being promiscuous.  Of course he didn't believe in any of that but he and his wife have been looking for a "tranny slave" or two for their domination "fun" group. Not only are all of all "easy" we just love to be dominated!

Let me point out I could care less about anyone's sexual preference or fetish, it doesn't matter to me what most do as long as I'm not hurt...Within legal reason of course. He kept accusing me of that when my main point was his use of the "T" gender slur. Couldn't get him to understand the process was the same as using the "N" word or any number of other racial slurs.  His main argument was the transgender women in the group had no problem with being called a tranny. Very similar to "I'm not a bigot, some of my best friends are black."

Again he would have no part of my point that his "transgender" women weren't.  They probably were fetish cross dressers, gurls or even she males.

Unfortunately the abuse doesn't begin or end with a man like him as documented by Jennifer Finney Boylan  (left)

"Hey, can we have a conversation about the word "tranny"? It's a word that is generally considered dehumanizing and offensive when referring to transgender people, like the "N" word for a person of color, or the "F" word for a gay man. But there it was in headlines last week in the story about DJ Mister Cee, who'd been outed as having had sex with a transgender prostitute (see "Is That You Boo? Mister Cee DRAGGED Out The Closet By Alleged Tranny Lover Who Taped Their Encounter??? [Video]"). There it was in a Daily Beast interview with actor Jared Leto about his performance as a transsexual woman in the new movie Dallas Buyers Club. (Writer Marlow Stern's first question: "How did you summon your inner tranny for this role?") And there it was, virtually everywhere, when Chelsea Manning came out as trans last month, causing editors from The Huffington Post to NPR to go running to their copies of the AP Stylebook for help. Politico's Dylan Byers actually wrote a smart article about the challenge, titled "Manning Switch Challenges Style Editors," which you'll have to admit was putting it mildly."

Of course there is much more to this post which you can read here but I'm going to finish off with this excerpt:

"Once, early in transition, I found myself wandering around L.L. Bean in Freeport, Maine, wearing a wig that would have been better off used as a home for red squirrels. If you didn't know better, you might well have called me some kind of a "hot mess." I still remember the huge eyes with which a small child, holding her mother's hand, viewed me as I drew near. "Mommy," said the child. "Who is that?" To this day I am grateful for the mother's reply. "That," she said, "is a human being."

FYI, I had that wig and the kid said "Big MEAN woman".

Gender Slurs and the Transgender Person

Tranny, Gurl, or girrl? What's your preference as a trans woman?
For those of you who have been around Cyrsti's Condo, you know my preference...none of the above.
I know you are thinking "just what the hell does she want to be called?"
My feelings are "tranny" is what drag queens call all of us and the other two are terms which toss me into the promiscuous stereotype that many male "admirers" put us into. I would rather be called "Hey You" or how about "Cyrsti"?
I'm doing my best to educate people now and not become seriously upset. I simply say "what's a gurl?"
The reason I brought out my soap box and went on this mini rant is I was called a "gurl" today.
After the good news I received from the doctor today, a gender slur was not what I wanted to hear!