Gender Slurs and the Transgender Person

Tranny, Gurl, or girrl? What's your preference as a trans woman?
For those of you who have been around Cyrsti's Condo, you know my preference...none of the above.
I know you are thinking "just what the hell does she want to be called?"
My feelings are "tranny" is what drag queens call all of us and the other two are terms which toss me into the promiscuous stereotype that many male "admirers" put us into. I would rather be called "Hey You" or how about "Cyrsti"?
I'm doing my best to educate people now and not become seriously upset. I simply say "what's a gurl?"
The reason I brought out my soap box and went on this mini rant is I was called a "gurl" today.
After the good news I received from the doctor today, a gender slur was not what I wanted to hear!

Working for the Transgender Nation

From the Michigan State University News:

"Some MSU students reconsidered gender and personal identity in art Tuesday by attending a workshop hosted by transgender activist and performer Rebecca Kling. With an extensive educational background in theater and performing arts, Kling was able to use her education to develop her identity, and when she visited MSU to run the workshop and perform for students, she encouraged her audience to do the same. “I used the tools as an artist to explore for the first time my experience as a transgender person on stage,” Kling said. “The reason we make art is to see ourselves. I used storytelling to share and fully understand who I was as a person.” Kling used what she has learned as a performer and a transgender person by talking to students and community members Tuesday in Snyder Hall about how to act and adapt to transgender people, and allow those people themselves to become comfortable in their own skin."

 Picture credit: Julia Nagy / The State News Transgender artist Rebecca Kling discusses exploring gender and identity during a workshop on Jan. 22, 2013, at Snyder Hall. About 10 students and faculty members attended the workshop. Julia Nagy/The State News

From the courage of a few come the benefits to many!

Estrogen Intensive Therapy

Today was visit number two to the hair salon to get my hair color "freshened".
A nice way to say-out with the gray roots.
This visit was yet another "first" in that I was totally feminine when I went today.
When I made the appointment last week, the receptionist changed my name from the male version my daughter originally gave them.  As you might remember I was told to come with about three days worth of beard growth to be evaluated for hair removal for my first visit.

This morning I had a relatively early appointment and really didn't know or care how many others I would encounter in what serves as a lobby in this salon. As it turned out, when I opened the door and walked in there were about five or six young women around the front desk.
Now it's been awhile since time has stopped in front of me.  What I mean is during various points in my transition, certain situations seemed to stop all of the life around me. I was moving in slow motion and the world was stopped or looking at me. This morning though,  I again added a couple extra seconds to the day as all the women just stopped at stared at me. I almost said "I come in peace earthling women. May I come in?"

In reality I just smiled and said "Good Morning" and all was fine. For many of them I may have been the only transgender person they ever knew for sure they encountered. They indeed let me in and even got me a cup of coffee.

As I sat and waited for the stylist, I felt I shouldn't have taken my estrogen today. I could have overdosed with all of it in the air in the salon and I loved it.
Overall,  the pampering and the overall effects today were about the same as visit number one. The big exception was I noticed the three or four other women also getting their hair done were more or less resigned to the process. I wondered how many visits will it take before I join that club too?

Finally I wonder how long it will take for the novelty of having a transgender customer to wear off?  Especially one who is like a kid in a candy store?

Transgender Formula

Every once in a while here in Cyrsti's Condo I like to discuss the powerful role of the mirror in the life of a transgender person.
The big problems with mirrors are they are pathological liars. They can only do what you want them to do. As you become lost in the eyes of that bewitching creature looking back at you in the mirror-in mere moments you can become just as lost out and about in an unforgiving public.
Let's call the process trans-physics.
Mirrors and pictures are one dimensional.
I have a friend who critiques the most attractive Flickr and YouTube cross dressing pictures and videos he can find. Rightly or wrongly, he uses other objects in the scenes to judge (among other things) the size of the person. Certainly the majority of us born with a taller, thicker body. No problem, we can use any number of photo tools to be one dimensionally attractive. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that until you walk out the door.
At that point you have moved into advanced trans physics. You are a three dimensional person - suddenly the good old mirror doesn't mean that much.
At this point, if you aren't scared to death-check yourself to see if you are still alive!
Assuming you are alive, lets work a couple of very real factors into our formula. (Bare with me, I didn't mention I'm a functional illiterate in math!)
Studies show human beings determine things like gender very quickly as they observe others. This is good or bad. Good of course if you are successful in projecting your gender, even if it for a couple seconds. Bad of course if you don't. That's another topic for another day.
The other factor is the blood smell.  Humans are predators and are quite capable of picking up the vibe of "something isn't quite right" with that picture. The genetic female of the species is quite good at it.Many times eye contact and a little smile will disarm the situation.
I can write literally pages and pages on this causing your eyes to bleed.
Lets try a formula: Tr+P-B= Pr or Trans person + projection - blood = presentation.
Just remember it's a highly simplified idea from my highly simplified mind but all in all it works.

Finally, let me toss in one more word about those pesky mirrors...they can be a girl's best friend when you are out. A quick check to make sure your hair, makeup or outfit is not off kilter is always a good thing. A good hint is to hold an article of clothing up in front of yourself in a store in a mirror. It's a great time to give yourself a good once over!