Good News? Really?

I shouldn't have been surprised by the back-lash over Mattis's decision on the future of transgender troops in the military. Many wanted more (including me) but under the current administration, I figured any move in the right direction was a good one.

At the least, the decision to do yet another study buys time to let the court cases involving trans troops work their way through the system and even gives time for a more organized fight in Congress to materialize.

I am a cup half full type of person.

Here is Connie's take: "Well, it's not bad news. I am a bit skeptical, myself. Should a draft be implemented, I guess trans women would still be eligible. But would the government recognize them as women? From the Selective Service website: "Individuals who are born female and changed their gender to male are not required to register. U.S. citizens or immigrants who are born male and changed their gender to female are still required to register." I guess it matters on how badly they need troops."

Since I got drafted during the Vietnam days, I have felt a universal draft should be utilized. Men, women and transgender...no matter. Not everyone would have to serve in the military, but everyone should have to do something to help our country. I am not a fan of our current entitled generations!

Jeni added her displeasure with my post: "

It's definitely pending Bad News, and definitely NOT 'Good News'.
That Mattis is wanting to come up with a way to enforce number 45's ban shows his true opinion on transgender military personnel."

It's very negative to say/think Mattis is automatically trying to find a way to enforce "45's" ban. You seemingly have chosen to ignore the honorable service put in by current/past and future transgender troops.

Thanks for the comments!

  

Good News!

From my Yahoo News Feed:

"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. Defense Secretary Jim Mattis said on Tuesday current policy regarding transgender personnel serving in the military would remain in place until he advises President Donald Trump on how to implement his directive on a transgender ban.

Mattis said in a statement he would set up a panel of experts serving in the Departments of Defense and Homeland Security to provide recommendations on implementing the ban.

He said he would advise the president after the panel reports it recommendations, and "in the interim, current policy with respect to currently serving members will remain in place."

Trump signed a memorandum on Friday directing the U.S. military not to accept transgender men and women as recruits and halting the use of government funds for sex-reassignment surgeries for active personnel unless the process is already under way."

Hopefully, 45's attempt to throw the transgender troops under the bus to cover up his own shortcomings as a president will fail. The last I noticed, the American military needed all the competent troops it can recruit...transgender or not.

"M
eet 'Sam,' a tra

Just Another LGBT Halloween Story

Most of my Halloween's I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, except for a few which have faded from my memory.

One of which occurred in Louisville, Kentucky in the early 1980's.

I acquired a tight faux leather outfit away from my wife's prying eyes knowing I would have to purge it before I went home again from the training trip I was on.

Back in those days, I fashioned hips and buttocks from foam rubber and held them in place with my panty hose. Of course the skirt was very short and my heels three inch high. In advance, I had smuggled my blond wig (known by wife) as well as my shoes into the suitcase and decided to purchase the rest before I went out.

My intention was to go to one straight venue and one gay one, which I did. After gathering my courage, the straight club turned out to be basically finding a corner to stand in, after getting my ass (or the foam rubber) pinched and fondled. I watched for any other "drag" costumes or other men dressed as women but didn't see any. In the years ahead, I basically found it to be the norm.

I quickly became bored and headed for the gay venue, only to learn I was too early for most of the crowd and training or not, I still had to get up relatively early in the morning.

So even less happened in the club.

Even still, I was still able to "celebrate" Halloween in a fun manner! The problem was, in those pre- transgender days, as a cross dresser, I would have to wait a year to do it again.

Blessings

Every once in a while, I have to step back and take a look at the transgender privilege I enjoy (knock on wood.)

An example was Saturday when Liz and I went to a family picnic at my daughter's mother in law's house. As always, I was greeted warmly and no mention was made of any LGBT issues. (Mine.) I even wore my "VA Serves LGBT Veterans" rainbow wrist band.

I am aware having a family which accepts me for who I am is rare and maybe getting rarer in this day and age. Plus, let's not forget, I have a partner who has always perceived me as a woman.

Now, I am not including my only brother's side of the family which doesn't except me at all, but they can go to hell.

Also, Sunday was another one of our Cincinnati Witches Ball meetings, where I am just me to everyone there.

Most certainly, acceptance does wonders for my confidence going forward in life! There is a rainbow in my future :)

A Pleasant Surprise!

Yesterday as Liz and I were doing some quick grocery shopping, we looked up and noticed a transgender woman manager in the store! (Krogers)

Plus, her son works at a Walgreen's which has hired a transgender man at their store. It was interesting as her son was arguing "CeCe" was a girl until Liz pointed out the pronoun guidance words of "he/him" on his name tag.

Sometimes I do believe we have come such a long way as a transgender community, only to have the disappointment of the military trans troop ban slap me back into reality.

Hopefully the courts will be able to win the day!

Can't help but wonder when and if "45" (Rump) will come after the care of trans vets.

Sad.

Mo Minutia

As promised, Connie's comment about eating in public from the Cyrsti's Condo post about transgender women and cross dressers:

"I can pass along a bit of information that might help those who are wanting to develop a more feminine manner of eating. Try eating with the other hand. I'm right handed, but I've had a lot of trouble with my neck and right shoulder, to the point that I have trouble negotiating a forkful of food into my mouth at times. I can't eat soup without some of it dribbling off the spoon and down my chin. So, I have had to retrain myself to use my left hand. In doing so, I have had to be slow and deliberate with each bite, and any shoveling I may have done before just doesn't happen anymore. The best thing about doing this is that, when I do try to eat with my right hand now, I eat the same way as I taught myself to eat with my left hand. Even if you never master eating with the opposite hand, the process of learning and thinking about it can help to create new and better habits.

Speaking of using a knife and fork to eat a hamburger, I did that for the first time many years ago when I was out to an up-class burger place with a trans girlfriend of mine. She, though, just picked up her juicy and messy burger with both hands and devoured it before I was even 1/3 done with mine. I was embarrassed to be seen at the same table with her, and I've never eaten with her again. Of course, my mother demanded proper table manners when I was growing up, and some people were not so lucky, I guess. Don't forget to put your napkin on your lap immediately upon sitting at the table, too. My friend never touched hers until she'd finished her burger - and then she used it more like a washcloth. Talk about messing up your lipstick (and more!)"

Thanks Connie!

What Makes a Girl?

Lately, I have read some mostly unsettling comments concerning the need for genital realignment surgery, and I had to add my two cents, of course.

I'm paraphrasing, but essentially the comments were a variation of the same old ones which said no matter how much surgery one goes through, you are still the same person sexually.

In essence that is true and does make a great argument for transgender women and trans men when you think it through from our angle.

Take me for example. I am not seeking any "bottom surgery" but in my mind, genitals don't make the person anyhow. I still feel like a woman and always have. I just took a different path than most all other cis women to get here.

To be sure, my breasts, full head of hair and softening skin give me the sensual experiences of being feminine and help me to project my true transgender self to the world, but if they were all taken away tomorrow, I wouldn't change.

Plus yesterday, I had one of the rare days when I felt my makeup, clothes and overall appearance were the best I had experienced in a while. Even still, I am the same person gender-wise, a girl. I just aligned all my personal stars for a change.

I still am amazed at the number of people (some of whom went through GRS) who obviously didn't know, or think through the total changes which would occur. Many I think, just wanted a vagina for some sort of an ego trip, not the deep down urges of body/mind alignment. Otherwise, they wouldn't be so bitter about the process.

In this day and age people, transgender or not need to have a better understanding of the differences between sexuality and gender. Especially in the overall LGBT world before they start spouting off about it!

We Got Mail!

First of all, my first trip to the Veterans Administration hospital to have my fluids (blood) checked didn't go as well as planned because my iron was too high for the first time in a year and I had to have a pint drawn. Oh well. I will live, plus the rest of the day went OK as far as stares, etc...even to the point of one of my doctors complimenting me on my appearance. Praise goes a long way :).

Now, on to the mail:

"Emma" commented that these days it is seemingly never a good time to draw the line in the sand with someone who challenges you being transgender. You never know what they may be carrying with them! (weapons). I very much agree!

As far as our Cyrsti's Condo "Transgender Minutia" post went, Paula commented:

"This is valuable advice that I have been trying to pass on to some of my (Cis) female family members for several years, I'm afraid some of them still favour the bulldozer feeding system and consider my idea of manners to be old fashioned and unnecessary.

I was brought up with the maxim "Manners maketh man" but it very much also applied to ladies!"

Indeed Paula! I have a cis woman friend who insists on belching like a teen aged boy where ever we go to eat and blames it on her ulcer. I have known plenty of people with ulcers who can control themselves in public and at least try to act respectful to others.

Mandy commented on chicken wings: "Ain't that the truth about eating chicken wings...of course you'll get to re-do your lipstick, but also much of your facial makeup, as well! (Leaving much of that makeup on your napkin...)

Hugs,

Mandy"

Both Mandy and Paula have very interesting blogs which I have added links to here (as you may have noticed!) thanks girls, plus I have a longer comment from Connie coming up in a future post. Isn't it fun being transgender? Well, at least we are different. Even in the larger LGBT community!

Transgender Minutia

If you are a fledgling transgender woman or cross dresser just beginning to make your way in the world, one of the more important male habits which can get you outed  is how you eat.

While cis women vary widely in eating habits, we trans girls are not afforded the same luxury. We just have to be better.

Various tips include, cutting food in smaller bites and tilting your head slightly as you eat. Plus, by all means don't shovel your food in! That giant hamburger needs to be cut and maybe even eaten with the help of a fork. Depending on where you are, or who you are with, those chicken wings may not be such a good choice.

Eating usually interferes with lipstick too, so care should be taken. Plus how women eat is considered to be sensual by more than a few cis men.

All of these tips are learned by cis girls growing up, but again, we transgender and or cross dressers never had a chance to learn. After all, eating like a girl got you the unwanted "sissy" label.

"Bon appetite" !

All Quiet on the Midwestern LGBT Front?

These days, quiet can only be counted in days and the accused terrorist killer in Charlottesville, actually is from the Northern Kentucky area around Cincinnati and was living near Toledo, Ohio...so sometimes quiet can be deceiving. And, while we are on the subject, my sympathies go out to the victims of the Barcelona, Spain terrorist attack. Sad and tragic, again. The world is a wreck.

On my personal side, I have several appointments coming up, including a group get together tonight which is not a transgender specific group.

Also, next week, I have my fluid levels checked (blood work) Tuesday at the Veterans Administration hospital and a visit with my therapist on Thursday.

My wardrobe has been checked and rechecked for the visits, so all should be good. Knock on wood!

Where ever you may be world wide, I hope you are safe too, and your LGBT life is allowed to be a bit boring!

The "Hatter" and Other News

Due to increased interest, I am passing along the web site to "Fashionable Hats" here. This site may offer more answers to questions concerning sizes, styles and even "unisex" hats! I personally love a stylish hat!



In other news, perhaps you have heard or read Texas's inane B.S. transgender bathroom law, has died...for now and hopefully forever. Once again it seems, many large corporations have come to our rescue, along with many others.

During my visit to the Veteran's Administration hospital in Dayton, Ohio yesterday, my therapist spent ten minutes reassuring us, there would be no changes in transgender veteran care. Someone added "for now" and that is probably the best we can do right now with the so called president we have in Washington.

So, regardless. the transgender community still is having victories in this bleak time.

Good news is good news!

LGBT History Time

"From Denmark one day in June 1952 did there arrive at the Bronx home of Board of Education carpenter George Jorgensen and his wife, Florence, a letter from 26-year-old George Jr., or Brud, as the family called him, who, several years earlier, following a brief service in the United States Army and a term of employment at the New York office of the RKO-Pathe newsreel people, had relocated to Copenhagen to pursue a career as a magazine photographer. Brud's tone suggested that there was something he wished to share."


For the letter she wrote go here to the Daily News of New York.

While My Blog Gently Weeps...Again.

My sympathies go out to all of the dead or injured in Virginia during demonstrations brought on by the KKK/Nazi inspired "Alt Right."

Of course after it all was over "45" (Trump) blamed "both sides."

At any rate, the whole affair speaks volumes on the real threats we face as the transgender, LGBT nation. An example were the death threats received by a transgender woman and her husband at an Amazon facility in Kentucky,

Lets be careful out there!

Welcome!

Recently I received an email from "Andy Peterson." Andy runs a site called Fashionable Hats and Accessories.

"Hi,,

I was recently visiting http://cyrstiscondo-cyrsti.blogspot.com/2014/10/sipping-high-ball-in-columbus.html and was very impressed by your website. 

I was wondering if could link back to http://www.fashionablehats.com on your site somewhere as a resource. If there is something you would like me to do in return, just name it."

If you are searching for a sharp hat...please check out the links provided! If you are lucky, you could sip a highball with Andy! And, if Andy is in Columbus, Ohio...I am within sipping distance :)

Enjoy!

Chelsea Manning

LGBT transgender woman Chelsea Manning has recently posed for Vogue Magazine:



It seems her transition is coming along well!

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire?

The transgender woman I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo who said she went through genital reassignment surgery via Medicare and I met up by accident yesterday at the Dayton VA hospital... by accident.

I asked her if she was there to see the therapist we both have and she said no, she was there to see her endocrinologist. She is a talker and went on to tell me she was requesting more estrogen because her breast development was lagging behind.

Warning bells went off again with her because past a certain point, extra estrogen just can hurt you, more than help feminization.  Plus she said her request was twice what I take, but I let it go.

The conversation went on for awhile, until she said her testicles were holding up the estrogen effect too. Unfortunately I wanted to get going so badly, I didn't follow up on her thought until later. Because I was zeroed in on going to the attorney.

Unless I am missing something huge about GRS, the testicles are removed, so she shouldn't have any...anymore.

At any rate, as suspected, her GRS maybe/probably is just a ruse. Sad.

Much to do About Nothing?

Well, I went to the attorney's today and found all my high anxiety was very much a waste of time...except figuring out how I was going to pay for it.

The office (as I figured) had only women and each one it seemed went out of her way to talk to me.

The only thing I forgot was my name change paper work and as the attorney said, it was only needed to prove legally who I was now. Plus she did say I was her first transgender client.

So, once I get my daughter to sign off on some papers too, we should be on the road to ridding myself  of a huge part of my past.

As always, worrying about the unknown is tougher than hitching up my big girl panties and doing something about it!

Count Down to Halloween?

As soon as fall weather begins to sneak into our climate here in Southwestern Ohio, I'm sure the thoughts of  crossdressers and or transgender women still in their closets turns to Halloween.

Back in the day, I had my share of Halloween's when I basically came out to my friends and acquaintances at the least as a cross dresser. Over the years, I have been able to share sort of a "best of" series of posts on my experiences.

Because of my job in the restaurant business, I was unable to "dress up" for Halloween but I normally found other outlets. One memorable one was when a couple friends, my wife and I went to a restored Victorian style theater in Columbus, Ohio. They were showing the original silent version of the "Phantom of the Opera" complete with an accompaniment by the restored theater organ. The costumes were amazing!

I wore a mini dress with heels, shaved legs and blonde wig. The idea was wonderful until I had to negotiate a long walk in those heels!

Also, shaved legs represented sort of a demarcation point between being a casual cross dresser and someone who is much more serious. I actually wore the same outfit to my own bar's Halloween party and earned the nickname "legs". I wish I could actually find the picture of me which surfaced quickly, but it unfortunately is long gone, it seems.

Two of my female friends went as far as saying I made a better looking woman than a man, which would turn out to have far reaching implications, good and bad. From that point forward I started to "invent" reasons to cross dress in front of certain friends and secretly fantasized about having a "girls night out" with some of them.

As it turned out, I would have to wait some 35 years for my first night out with cis women.

So Halloween to me will always be a cherished time which continues to this day. Last year, my flowing witches costume attracted an "admirer" at our "Witches Ball" and I hope this year will be as fun too.

Advice? Halloween is a slippery slope. If you want to gently take the risk to out yourself, do it.

But if you do, take the chance to enjoy the experience!

Busy Week

This week is shaping up to be a busy one. I have a full moon get together tonight plus two appointments Wednesday which means getting together a wardrobe in my noggin for the week. I see the people tonight a lot plus it is still substantially cooler so I can wear one of my three quarter length sleeve peasant tops...a relatively new outfit.

Yesterday I was helped by Liz going through her extensive closet and finding me some Capri's she didn't/couldn't wear anymore because of her continued weight loss. I am fairly well set up in the top/blouse department.

Saturday night, we went to a meeting of our Ohio Valley Witches Ball committee in an upscale Mexican restaurant.  Actually, the meeting was set up to approve merging our group with two peeps involved in the old event for years before it ended. My transgender status was well received by them and pretty much ignored by everyone else in the venue...as expected.

Again, we were in a very liberal part of Cincinnati, so having a night out without LGBT pushback is normal and fun to be free as my real self.

I will let you know how it all goes this week.

Fear...ala Connie

In response to my "Fear and Loathing" post here in Cyrsti's Condo, Connie wrote:

"At first, I thought you were referring to masculine properties you might still have. But, who would see an attorney for verification of those things? A physician would be a better choice. Anyway, I have some real estate I'd like to have a surgeon unload for me, and it's not really in probate - I have lost the will. :-)

In my experience, anyone I deal with who stands to profit monetarily is not to be feared. If they don't like who I am to the point of also disliking my money, then that's their problem.

I might be able to use an oxygen tank here in Seattle. With temps in the mid-nineties and smoggy air from Canadian wild fires, it's difficult to get a good breath of air. Both the sun and the moon glow orange, and there's so much smoke in the air that the stars are not visible at night. It's like a scene out of a Sci-Fi movie (which makes me fit right in!)."

I like the monetary part of your comment, and people are more apt to see green, or at the least a welcome relief from their day to day work if and when they encounter a transgender person up close and personal. Plus, since the last thing the receptionist mentioned in a so, so pleasant manner was the not so small matter of a consultation fee. Not mentioned on their web site. Keep in mind though I am dealing in a smallish town, so competition among attorney's is likely not that intense.

At any rate, if I can get the two properties probated at a reasonable cost, which increases my chances of unloading them and getting along with my life. Which is huge of course.

As far as an oxygen tank goes, I hope you get some relief soon from the smoke! I am fairly sure though you may be able to find a small one and spray paint it pink? :) Or blue which may match your new friend's hair? She is probably a huge LGBT supporter anyway. 

Fear and Loathing???

A couple days ago, I began a process I have actually been putting off for years...probating a couple properties I have held on to from my past.

I chose an attorney pretty much at random, preferring only one of female persuasion. For some reason I felt I would have a lesser chance of running into transgender bias with another woman.

Before I went into the office, I was scared to death. Not so much because of presenting trans, but of the whole process. The end result ideally could result in selling both properties and totally getting rid of the part of my life I have been dreading.

I was so scared, it brought back memories of my first journey out to a restaurant as a woman I have written about several times. It was so bad, I thought I was going to need an oxygen tank in case I fainted. After I made it though, I never thought my life would ever come to this.

Which leads me to this point. Many people ask me about the highs and lows of a transgender transition. My answer is simple, consider what would be the toughest hill to climb as a trans woman, then try to do it. My personal example was buying a part in an auto parts store.

When I look back at my life though, nothing would have prepared me for what I have been through now. Scared? Yes! Determined? Certainly! I would not trade where I am now for anything.

Not even an oxygen tank!

Freedom

Just when I received all the unwanted attention I could take from LGBT hostile rednecks, I landed back in my decidedly more liberal home ground and I garnered no attention at all, or, too much of a positive nature.

Going back to the drawing board, so to speak, it was hot last weekend and I decided to pull my hair back and go without my glasses. Seemingly all of my adjustments worked to perfection as I encountered no problems. Whether or not the changes had that much effect or not is open to debate as (like I wrote), I was operating in friendly territory.

At any rate, the weekend did wonders for my confidence too and as we all know, presenting successfully takes a lot of confidence. Humans are sharks and if they don't detect blood in the water, many times they won't even notice you.

I did have one grocery bagger kid who wanted to talk and talk, which I did, plus the restaurants we went to (per norm) saw me as being green, for my money.

Whatever the case, even at this point in my transgender woman life, a little confidence goes a long way, especially with the next stages of my life looming quickly.