Trans Partners

Similar to a recent credit card commercial around here, let's give it time to let that comment set in for awhile.

....Time's up! A trans partner could be anything from a transgender man with a genetic, to a transgender woman with a cis man, to transgender men and trans women in a relationship. (I know I'm missing many other potential pairs, especially if you throw sexuality into the picture."

Fortunately for all of us Helen Boyd addressed the issue recently in her en/Gender Blog.  If you follow the link, you will see Helen's links to "Neither a Pity or a Fetish" or a huge Reddit "Message Bard" called "My Partner is Trans."

And of course, an excerpt from the blog itself from Helen Boyd:

"In the first set, there’s a list of the “allowable” types of partners – “boxes”:

1. Straight cis man is with a straight trans woman because she ‘probably’ still has a penis and, therefore, ‘he’s probably actually gay’.
2. Straight cis man is with a straight trans woman AND HE IS DECEIVED.
3. Straight cis woman stays with her transitioning partner, is to be pitied.
4. Straight cis woman is with a straight trans man AND WHERE IS THE PENIS, WE MUST ASK WHERE THE PENIS IS, CAN YOU FIND IT FOR US?
5. Gay cis woman is with a straight trans man, and that’s okay, because we all knew that ‘he’ was actually a lesbian woman all along.

And I wonder where these come from. When I was coming up, only #s 2, 3, & 5 existed, and I didn’t fit into any of them very well either, unless you see me as the “to be pitied” type, which I don’t.

Always useful to see/hear more partners speak up."

Indeed! Most of you regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know my partner is a genetic/lesbian.  Which even gives a little different spin to our relationship with the world.  One of these days, I'm going to be able to convince her to write a post or two for the Condo about what she thinks of all of this!

My Phone, My Noggin and I

Just between you and me, I certainly have nothing against the sissy contingent in our community and I am reasonably sure most don't go on to a full mtf gender transition. AND  I understand the culture behind having a woman force you to cross dress. 

In the midst of everything else I try to squeeze in to my life these days, I use my phone to talk to myself. What I mean is when I have one of my ideas for "From the Hart" or Cyrsti's Condo, I message them to myself.

For example:  Similar to a note in a bottle, I have been tweeting my little "plays on words" out to the world and more than likely a "civilian" or two on Pinterest.  My assumption is, they would know little or nothing about what "transitioning" is, or how I am using the "sissies" word. My assumption also is, if you have a picture similar to the unidentified "sissy" below, somewhere perhaps there is a semi understanding spouse or girl friend. She is thinking, well I don't understand, but at least I don't have to do all the house work for a change.

WOW! How does this thing work?

Back in the day, I too would get dressed up (not like that) and do a bit of cooking and a smaller bit of cleaning.  I found what I already knew, I liked to cook and hated to clean.  I just couldn't reconcile myself I would "make someone a good wife" -in the ideal sense. Back in those days, I figured at the least, I could cook my way into a man's heart and never thought it would be another woman.

This was around the time my wife and I were having huge battles about what my cross dressing was really all about.  One day, when she was following up on her very effective theme "Be man enough to go be a woman!" I said something to the effect, did that mean I could be a woman and not clean like many I knew?  Not the right comment!

Which leaves me to my most important point of all, which is no secret:
"Transitioning is not for Sissies AND is a real BITCH!"

Cyrsti's Condo "Guest Post"

For whatever reason, rarely, have I just taken a comment or experience from one of you and passed it along-nearly verbatim. Here is quite possibly the first:

"Cyrsti, I hope you are sitting down because you and I are once again in total agreement. 

 I am a huge Bob Seger fan. My wife and I saw him several years ago at MSG and he blew the roof off the place. About 20 years ago I became addicted to "Like a Rock" I would play it over and over again until I ruined the cassette tape. I think that it had to do with the lyrics about "20 years, where did they go...20 years I don't know". Of course he would now have to revise that to 40 years since I was "lean and solid everywhere...like a rock." Obviously I still hold firm to what I think is right...like a rock. 

 A year or so ago I was in an LGBT bar for Karaoke night and I sang "Turn the Page". When I finished I went back to my stool at the corner of the bar (think of Norm in the anchor position at Cheers). I asked the regulars if they know why I picked that song. None of them knew. There were two girls sitting catty corner to my seat and the one closer to me said that she knew why I picked that song and she went right to the lyric "Most times you can't hear them talk, other times you can. All the same old cliches, is it a woman or a man..." She got it right, of course. She then took out her phone and showed me a photo of a guy with a shaved head, mustache and goatee. I damm near fell off the bar stool when she told me that the guy in the photo was her about two years prior. We had a very enjoyable and informative conversation for the rest of the evening. I have never encountered her or her girlfriend again. 
 I thought you would appreciate the Seger inspired conversation. 

 Regards, Pat

Pat it's obvious that I did love your experience and yes "Turn the Page" was a fave of mine too.  For clarity though , I should point out our disagreements are mostly political in nature which speaks for itself!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Queen" of the Day

Our feature cover today is Puerto Rican drag queen, Jessica Wild

Chasing my Tail!

First off, we had a  major (no pun intended) moment in Cyrsti's Condo yesterday when Pat actually agreed with my comments on a post called The Toughest Trans Battle of Them All! The post centered on MtF transgender Army Captain Sage Fox in particular and spoke to the continuing tragedy of ruining trans lives one at a time in the United States military.  Which (as Pat wrote) Prez Obama  could fix with a stroke of his pen-but hasn't. I'm going to leave it at that, at the risk of getting too bitter and political. Plus, since Pat lives around the New York, East Coast area, she provided a little more insight into our Totally Transgender post and trans firefighter Brooke Guinan.  Please follow the links for her complete comments.

On a couple of lighter notes:  jen smithOctober 28, 2014 at 3:02 PM  commented:

Ooooh Cyrsti! You were quite the rebel-rousing, button pushing, devil may care one weren't you! Sounds like you had a heck of a good time!!!

Indeed I did Jen! Every morning, I take a moment and thank "Momma Karma" for enabling me to do all this living after so many years of darkness!

Finally, perhaps you have heard classic rocker Bob Seger is touring again at the age of 69.  I'm sure all of you have special groups and songs which have defined parts of  your life and Seger is one of mine.  I knew of him way back before he became "uber" popular because is is from the Lincoln Park, Michigan area and was rockin his arse off when I worked at one of the first "progressive rock" FM radio stations in Bowling Green, Ohio. (Not far from Toledo,  Michigan and Detroit.)  Our listeners also were fans of Iggy Pop and the Stooges from Ann Arbor, Michigan and any other Detroit "head bangin" rockers.  I credit those days to losing a good part of my hearing.  Another chunk went to watching the original Ozzy and Black Sabbath in Germany when I was in the Army.

At any rate, Segar seemed to stick with me through the years.  His "Hollywood Nights" song about a Midwestern boy being too far from home in L.A. became my "anthem" for a Midwestern boy in New York slipping too far away from his birth gender and of course "Running Against the Wind" which describes any transgender person searching for their true gender identity.

One of Segar's stops is going to be in nearby Columbus, Ohio in January.  Haven't given up on getting tickets!

I Didn't Have to Practice

I have two people in my life who have had a difficult time adjusting to who I am. Both from different perspectives.

One is from my distant cross dressing past and the other my deceased wife's sister.  I'm fairly sure I mention them too often here in Cyrsti's Condo.  So, to cut straight to my point, I'm about ready to cut ties with one (sister in law) and on occasion think I'm getting my point across to the other.

Here is the example.  He often sends me YouTube videos of mainly drag queen transformations and critiques them heavily.  Not a problem with that. If I have the time to watch them, I do too.  Today though, he sent me a fairly simple straight forward video involving an effeminate blond man.  I replied, I wish I had his skin and build to work with. He replied back "except the nose." I said wow! That was quite the catty comment, better pull in those claws.

What really got to me was he said "you must be practicing on your feminine responses."  I became more than a little frustrated and said "when will you learn, I'm way past the practice mode."  I just let my natural self come out and here she is. 

Ironically, the whole point fits in well into my Frock Magazine series about transitioning later in life. Indeed what have been my biggest surprises? One was when I found building a new circle of friends was easier to rebuild from scratch; than to babysit the few remaining ones I still had. Who for the most part refused to even consider I wasn't going through some sort of a late mid life gender crises.  (Like the two above.)

So no, I didn't have to practice much. My friends brought the real me out of me. I had it easy. Not having to practice per se' just was icing on the cake. I knew quickly I was doing the right thing.

The pleasant surprise was I didn't know I was getting it this right.

"Star Gazing" with Cyrsti

At my age it took me a while (as I have said) to shake off the effects of the weekend. When I did, I realized I had missed our weekly astrological sign travels Monday.  Better late than never though- so here we go with the Libras:

(September 23-October 22): Who you will want now and who is right for you will be hard to match up, as the two will seem at opposite ends, making you want to wipe the slate clean and start over. Of course, decisions like that can’t be made overnight, but as you feel the restless tossing and turning, redraw the lines of what you do find acceptable and make that your point now.

Can't say much about any of that except it is wrong in my case! I am always restless and toss and turn all the time mentally, but so does Liz so we match up.  I'm the first to admit our successful style of relationship is most likely to occur  in more mature individuals who have seen a lot and have some sort of idea of where they want to be at this stage of our lives. 

As I read the other signs this week, it seems I may need to find a Virgo to talk to! :
.
 (August 23-September 22): There will be uncommon vernacular spoken around you and a pretension that will be so thick; it’ll be hard to push your way through. Welcome to a new view, as changes of your social scene will be going down a more intellectual route. Not that you can’t keep up, but why you would want to. After all, what do you really feel you have to prove?

OK kids, that's it again for another week and can you believe the first days of November! As always if we didn't get to your sign, don't crawl under your bed and cry! Go here to theFrisky.

The Toughest Trans Battle of Them All?

I hope just because I am a US army transgender veteran, I should feel any more strongly than any other transgender American that the continuing discrimination against transgender military members isn't one of the most basic problems we have?

Shouldn't the people who fight for our freedoms, be allowed to enjoy them? Especially when other countries around the world allow trans people to serve? Even I though, get the argument from people around me women in the military are a bad idea all together. It seems they feel we genetic or transgender women are too emotional, or devoid of strength and may not possess the will to fight to the bitter end for our other troops. Really? I tell them to just did a little deeper into the history of our area in Ohio when the Shawnee's and whites used to clash over land which belonged to the Shawnee.  Sure some of the heavily Scotch Irish women were captured and abused but many were some of the most feared fighters the Shawnee faced when cornered.

Still, today, stories such as this keep happening-because they can: From the Washington Post:  Capt. Sage Fox had come to terms with the end of her military career when she said she got a stunning phone call. It was her commanding officer, telling her that despite the military’s ban on transgender service members, she would be welcome to return— as a female, her preferred gender.

So Fox, 41, (left) a U.S. Army Reserve officer who had served in the military for 14 years, returned to post in Sacramento as a new person. Her voice was higher with the help of vocal training and her features softer as a result of hormone therapy. She had grown out her hair. She got permission to use the female latrine and be addressed as “ma’am.”

But a short time later, her orders were reversed without explanation, and she was told not to come back, she said. Thousands of men and women serving in the U.S. military are in such caught in the gap between shifting cultural mores and military regulations that still require the immediate dismissal of any service member found to be transgender.

Actually, yet again transgender service members such as Captain Fox are just caught up in a government full of politicians and bureaucrats just interested in a short term status quo arrangement.  I might make a move, but not in an election year!

The "shell game" goes something like this: Defense Secretary Hagel said he would be open to a study.  (How many years? How much money?) At the same time (of course) The Pentagon has said nothing is going on with them. And in the meantime, a dozen or so transgender service members have been discharged over the past two years (according to various advocates).

For of this more story go here. My blood pressure is too high to keep writing!!!!!

Totally Transgender!

This says it all!

NYC Firefighter Brooke Guinan has been quietly raising the profile of LGBTQ folks and women in the FDNY for years. 

Now she's become a visible role model, taking part in V.O.I.C.E.'s new 'So Trans, So What?' campaign.

Go here to Advocate for more.

Perhaps, Brooke's publicity is even more relevant to the transgender community who can never hope to be the ultra glamorous trans role models as Carmen Carrera or Andreja Pejic.  

It's more a matter of "Hey! I can do that too!" I don't have to be a fashion model to transition!

Gender Fluid Weekend

I had some sort of idea of how the weekend was going to play out gender wise, and I wasn't disappointed. Liz and I headed over to Columbus relatively early and had a chance to check in our hotel in time to relax before the evening really got started.  We have stayed at the same place a couple times for TGLBQ Pride and the Trans Ohio Symposium, so the process was fairly easy-even though my girl self was checking in and my guy self was paying. (As he should!) The front desk peeps only care though if the credit card doesn't go through. They rarely ever even look up to see my beautiful self. (kidding)

That evening, as "Madame La'Noe" began to appear, she turned out to be the rather androgynous scary person I thought she might be.

We hit the street party and I had no idea why most of the peeps were steering clear of me? (Ha!) Of course, that was no fun so I went looking for interaction. And, found it in a couple spots where I knew I would get feed back- the men's rooms in a couple of gay venues we were in. I think you all know I try to keep Cyrsti's Condo PG rated, so I'm am going to try to explain what I said to them, without going too far.  The first had something do with commenting on "The Madam's" crystal balls around her neck (You can see them in the picture to the left of the rubber chicken.) And a little gold snake I had curled around one hand and wrist, which you can't see in the picture. You can guess about any of the "ball" comments and I just asked if any of the guys were snake lovers and did they want to pet mine?

If you know anything about gay guys, they are not shy about sex talk and leaving them pretty much speechless for a minute or so was rare and I can't tell you what they did say!

As Saturday rolled around, we tried to recover from Friday night, which was a great idea- until we went out to watch the Ohio State/Penn State football game.  Because she said she would, Cyrsti became "The Madam" for part of the evening and we visited a couple of my regular Dayton spots where we could watch the game- for another one of those "shouldn't have" moments! Oh well!

Remember, we weren't even to Sunday yet and when it got here,  I had a very good idea of why I was too damn old to party two nights in a row!  Not be be denied of another beautiful day, Liz and I went to a local park.  Just to keep it interesting for the "after church" crowd in the smaller town I live in, I decided to go with a "go to hell" androgynous look. Could I have possibly still been buzzed?  My go to hell outfit consisted  of men's tennis shoes, women's jeans, unisex sweat shirt top, light foundation, haired pulled back-and bright red nail polish left on from the two nights before. Naturally, I had quite the reaction from the elderly ladies sitting in their Cadillac's watching me pump my gas. I figured after spending their time and money getting smoked by a mean preacher at church, they needed a break!

As much fun as it all was though, I figure it will take me until about Wednesday to recover, when it's beer and music night with Kim and Racquel!

It's time for my nap now!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" It's time for another Sunday Edtion here in the Condo hitting your virtual front porch.  It's yet another beautiful fall morning here in Ohio

Page 1.- The Week That Was-or Wasn't. As I have written, for all intents and purposes, my Halloween for this year has come and gone.  While there are a few "activities" all next week, I'm not so sure if I could survive attending!  As promised there are a few "glimpses" into my escort "Ziggy" and I's attire at the Columbus, Ohio "Highball" Halloween bash Friday night: Including this very "ghostly one!

Page 2.- Another Way to Come Out?  Don sent this story in from "Yahoo Parenting" and the Tampa Bay Times:  Mass emails and robocalls to parents are usually about school closings or conferences, but on Thursday, J.W. Mitchell High School principal Jim Michaels had a different sort of announcement: Robert Konrad, a social studies teacher at the Pasco County, Florida, school, was beginning a gender transition. “Mr. Konrad has begun the process of gender transition and is anticipating presenting as a female no later than August of 2015,” he wrote in an email, according to the Tampa Bay Times. “As you can imagine, this is a very private decision, but Mr. Konrad has indicated that he will respond to appropriate questions you may have about the transition process.” Definately not old school!

Page 3.- Time Marches On.  Last week we briefly touched on the subject of 14 year old transgender teen Jazz Jennings being named  to the "Time Magazine" list of the top 25 most influential teens.  On the other end of the time spectrum, I read a story recently I didn't know at all, or forgot. (maybe?) From the Own Network: 

Add caption

Even today, there are a lot of theories surrounding Teddy Pendergrass’ car accident. All we really know was that the singer was riding with a transgender woman and was subsequently paralyzed from the accident. The people at OWN, tracked down Tenika Watson (left) , the woman who was riding with Pendergrass the day his life changed forever, told OWN’s cameras, “I never really got a chance to tell my side of things and it was important to me. Very important to me.” -

Follow the link for more!

The Back Page!  I have finished my first cup of "Joe" and it's time to get "Ziggy" (Liz) and crew moving to get out and enjoy this day!  Wherever you may be, I hope you can too!

Sipping a "High Ball" in Columbus

Yes there will be pictures of us, so don't panic if you don't see them in this post.  My fun started when I just got to sit back and be "the talent" and watch my character- Madame La'Noe come to life. Perhaps even better was, when I saw what Liz put together for herself. "He" was to be the Madam's personal escort dressed in suit, tie, fedora, suspenders and of course a parasol for the Madam in case of sprinkles.  And, oh yes, a handle bar mustache.  You could have knocked me over with the feather from her Fedora.  (sample on left) That's it for now!  More to come!

A "High Ball" is a drink.  Or...it is the name of the two day Halloween Party in Columbus, Ohio

Liz and I were active participants last night and probably I will have about four blog posts relating all of it . In the mean time, just to teeeeeese you just a bit-Columbus is an incredibly diverse city with a huge university (Ohio State), government (state capital) and a large GLBTQ  population.  Just the right ingredients for a potent tasty "High Ball.!"

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

The "Golden Age" of Transitioning?

As sometimes happens, it seems Momma Karma throws a glob of spaghetti up on the wall of the Cyrsti's Condo kitchen here, just to see it if will stick.  This time the "glob" was made up of different ideas about transitioning later in life. Of course there was the latest post about 14 year old trans woman Jazz Jennings who I know some "purists" would consider to be "true transsexual" - because she was in the right place, at the right time,  with the right family and transitioned.

On the other side are the trans folks like me and on occasion, I get tons of feedback on my lot in life as a transgender woman. In fact,  Pat wrote me a very complimentary email concerning my Frock Magazine articles called "Frock of Ages", they deal only with the trials and tribulations of a later in life MtF gender transition. Thanks Pat! Of course, here in the Condo, you all get a taste of my noggin which is constantly throwing all kinds of gobs of spaghetti against what ever wall it can find. Including but not exclusively discussing, jumping the gender fence while you still can. (Before the Grim Reaper catches me!)

I almost called this post Deja Vu (which come to think of it would make quite the eclectic name!) Basically, it means having the sensation you have experienced your present, in your past. Isn't Deja Vu even stronger for transgender women and men because we have experienced so much-from the other side of the gender fence. Surely, most are rather mundane, but an example of one which isn't could be going to a football game, or a music concert or even to the mechanic to get your car fixed?

I also keep going back to Paula Goodwin's comments (and I paraphrase) at our age, less and less is new. She is right of course until you view the world from the polar opposite gender.  As my partner Liz says "how many humans have a second chance to build a new person?"

There is no simple answer to the pointless questions about "true transsexuals" of course. Just because Jazz Jennings can build her life from the ground up is a testament to her family and many who came before her. Remember how not so long ago, gender dysphoria was officially treated as a mental illness?

At any rate, I am not going to sit here and write about any golden age of transition-except in your noggin.  I finished one of my Frock articles by writing (and I'm sure you all who have transitioned more than me will agree) if you choose to go down this path-you will know if you are right.  The true test comes when the newness wears off quicker than the makeup you are putting on every morning! Genetic or not, "more mature" women need more "upkeep!"

When you get to the point of "Deja Vu" being one of your feminine experiences.  You know your male self has finally left the building.  Just tell him to "leave the gold!"

All That Jazz!

Life has been moving so fast for me again, I have neglected to pass along the latest transgender person to venture out into the world, stay in the world and make a difference.  Her name is Jazz Jennings and she probably is not a stranger to you. If you didn't know though,  (from Yahoo News and Katie Couric)Now, at 14, Jazz has co-authored an illustrated memoir aimed at children called "I Am Jazz." The book chronicles the early years of Jazz's life, from her diagnosis to her struggles at school, and it's not just for kids in the LGBTQ community but for anyone who feels like they don't fit in. All of this comes just weeks after being named one of Time magazine's "25 Most Influential Teens of 2014."

Looking back, I can try hard and remember when I was 14 (maybe) and  how I would  have had no way to imagine now how wonderful and exciting it would be to get up, turn my computer on (huh? couldn't do that -they were as big as my room) and see one of Time Magazine's 25 top teens was transgender?

We will attempt to discuss the "golden age" of gender transition in a future post in Cyrsti's Condo!

Cyrsti's Condo "Vintage Pin Up"

I just loved this and needed to pass it along to all of you here in the "Condo!"
Use your imagination!!
Thanks "Bobbie Jo Kaye"!

My Bucket is Leaking?

Here are a couple well placed comments on the very loosely based Cyrsti's Condo post on personal "trans bucket lists":

HollybnhOctober 22, 2014 at 9:27 PM

Take every opportunity you can, when you get to where Stana and I are, you'll have a shorter list!

and:

Paula GoodwinOctober 23, 2014 at 5:02 AM

The older we get and the more things we do the less firsts there are left

Thanks ladies!  Holly, if by chance you are talking about you and Stana in the age department, I think I qualify! (65)

And Paula, you are completely right in that we "more mature" humans should have less firsts to do- but don't you think being transgender wipes the slate clean?  Plus, as I read a few of the comments in Femulate, I realized yet again what a fine line it is to be able to check many of the bucket list items at all. Let alone have the courage to do them!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl of the Day"

Our feature today is the very androgynous Anderson Brooks:

One Foot in the Bucket?

At my age, I can't say I don't pay attention to "bucket-lists" especially now a days when it seems they are popping  up again. I read with interest on Stana's Femulate blog in particular (of course) when she came up with a bucket list of sorts for "femulators" to accomplish.

Not that it makes me any better than any other cross dresser or transgender person, but many of the items on the list I could check off. I began to wonder at what point did I subconsciously realize checking items off the list led me to where I am now? Or was I doing what came naturally?

I guess my friends thought so- much of the credit for checking off  most of the major items, go to my friends. Early examples were the invites to professional sports games and to real live girl's night outs. Of course I was scared to death and none of it came easily. And then, there were the early vacations with Liz, including a week long trip to New Orleans and Mardi Gras.  Really? No pressure packing for that with no guy clothes-right?

You see,  my friends and lover just crushed my bucket list.  They saw past all my petty paranoia's for who I was.  I'm still amazed they see nothing special about what they did. I'm just one of their girlfriends. Wow.

Yes, I did see and few items on the list I had not accomplished and that's cool too. One of which was getting a mani-pedi. Can't say I haven't had the chance and I really want to but I also want to keep a couple of new and mysterious/fun girl things to do.

So, I really never had the chance to check off all those items on my list if I ever had one.  I suppose I would change the title of "bucket list" to "dream list" because I still can't believe this all is happening to me!

Plus, I have never been one who didn't think I wasn't living on borrowed time and I better get to whatever I wanted to do before the curtains closed. I suppose I'm lucky that my biggest regret out side of transitioning earlier, was not taking that trip to Kathmandu we had planned when we were in the Army.

I still don't have both feet in the bucket! There is still time!

Cyrsti's Condo "Halloween Cross Dressing 101"

DO NOT wear this as a costume to work!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo Dammit!

Unidentified cross dresser

Honey! Are you peeing on the steps again?

Cyrsti's Condo "Astrological Boogey!"

I positively love the Libra sign astrology for this week! My friends have positively no idea of what they have done for me-no matter how much I try to tell them! Read on fellow Libra's!

(September 23-October 22): Enjoying the good life is more than just being able to access any thrill you need, but being able to express the gratitude in how you got there. After all, as the sign of teamwork, you will have to pay a price to those you have consulted and give credit where it is due. If you really do have what it takes, then acknowledging those that helped perfect it will only give you more.

My guest sign this week goes to all of you under the sign of Pisces: (If for nothing else-the use of the word fantastical!)

A fantastical event is in the works for you, giving you a sense of the divine. However big or small, a miracle is going to strike and a beautiful happening will start to worm its way into you. Chances are you will be seeing a person or situation in a totally different way, as obstacles seem to disappear into thin air.

As always, if we missed you-don't despair kids! Just go here to theFrisky! 

Dragging Yourself to Work?

This post is actually not about me, but a couple of guys who worked for me over the years and their Halloween costumes.  As many of you already know here in Cyrsti's Condo, I worked for years in the commercial sit down restaurant business. During Halloween, the "bosses" allowed us to have an evening of "dress up" for the servers and bar tenders.  Over the years, I think surprisingly, I did not have very many instances of my male servers showing their "feminine" sides in drag.  Two did though and here is the story:

The first server was a very effeminate "out" cis gay guy from an era when gay men did not have as much acceptance as they do today,  He didn't care (which was cool by me) but on Halloween he came to work as a drag queen - complete with heels. First of all, the company costume rules forbid any potentially dangerous footwear.  Heels definitely fit that description but- when the store manager (a genetic) called him on it, he said "why? you wear heels in here all the time?"  I bit my lip and vacated the area and the next time I saw him, indeed he was wearing his pumps.  The "moral to the story"?  His feet were killing him after his four hour shift.  He had won the fashion battle, but lost the war!

The second story comes much later in another restaurant and really came out of no where.  I had one very androgynous server on my staff and really gave it no thought how he would dress for the Halloween shift and in fact, didn't even though he was scheduled.  I (like everyone else) was surprised when he came in to work cross dressed and I didn't even know him. My only real tip off came when before he came back to clock in for his shift, he stopped at the bar and said good by to his girl friend who had brought him to work.  His costume for the shift was simply coming as one of my genetic servers and he effortlessly succeeded.

I can't even begin to tell you how many of my regular guests that night asked me who "she" was and was it true "she wasn't?"

Those two experiences were about it over the years.  Not many "braved the restaurant" elements to cross dress or do drag at Halloween in any of the restaurants I managed.  Over all, it was just too tough to do because of safety considerations. As far as I was concerned, I never even considered coming to work as a girl at all.  In fact, one year I came dressed in my old Army uniform (yep-still could fit in to it  in the mid 1990's) and one year as "God".  I wore white sheets over my regular dress shirt and tie. Wore one of my huge "mistake wigs" - a long straight platinum blond and cut off enough to make my self a "Fu-manchu" mustache.

Think of it this way, if God says did you enjoy your meal- you dammed straight better say yes!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!!!" Welcome to a "late day version" of  our Sunday Edition here in the Condo! Running late from one heck of a weekend!

Page 1.-  The week that was- or wasn't!  The week around here was basically involved with the fast approaching Halloween holiday.  Party time for genetics, trans girls and cross dressers to strut whatever "stuff" they have. Plus, it is a time for many cross dressers to venture into the world.  Many for their first time. A very exciting and very scary evening, with or without all the "ghosts and goblins" or the vastly more popular vampires and zombies this season.  Especially "zombie drag".  Just go to your local thrift store, fight all the other cross dressing guys away from the larger size dresses-tear one up with a fright wig and you are ready to go!  I can't believe two things for me this year.  The first is, it is nearly here and the second is for the first time ever I'm on pace this year to pass along all of my Halloween epics!

Page 2.- Dancing the night away.  As I wrote, Saturday night, my lesbian partner Liz and I went to a big lesbian Rainbow Dance close to Cincinnati, Ohio.  For me it was rather bittersweet.  First of all, I was rather naive to think the outfit I had picked out for the evening was going to work out as well as it did last spring at Trans-Ohio. (It seemed someone had gained more weight than she thought.)  Not to worry though, I ended up with outfit (plan B) which worked better in the mirror.  For some reason though, I didn't feel as relaxed as I thought I should have been when we arrived.Maybe it was a premonition.  We had no more than found the bar and appetizer tables, when a genetic I referred to as "helmet hair" (looked like it) made it her special goal to spot me and said "hey dude! what's your real name?  I was taken back for a second (a huge mistake) and said "Mine is Cyrsti, what's your real name?"  Really?  Look, I do not expect to be embraced or supported by everyone, but don't seek me out to bash me!

As much as I try, I try to not let transphobic bigots get under my skin or in my noggin, but I can't tell you I wasn't looking for the bitch to seek me out again.  She didn't and actually the rest of the evening was OK.  I did dance with Liz and saw at least three other transgender sisters in the crowd of around 300.

Looking back, I don't know what other expectations I had except to enjoy the evening with Liz and do some people watching.  I just made the mistake of thinking all lesbians are any more accepting of trans women than all gay guys are.  It wasn't as if I was trying to "force" my way into their sandbox.  My partner wanted to go.  I just have a problem when a genetic (lesbian or not) gets this evil sh-t eating smirk on her face when she is leering at me.  I think I will get a t-shirt that says "Get a life-you can't have mine!" (The vast majority of the people there paid no attention to me at all.)

Page 3.- Fall colors!  Saturday I figured a sure fire way to cleanse myself of "Helmut Head" was to change the color of my head.  I have been considering going darker for this fall and winter and as a matter of fact, Liz and I were admiring another woman's hair color at the dance.  It's difficult to describe except the color resembles a dark auburn with maybe a Henna tinge of extra red.  I have so much hair, Liz needed two boxes of coloring to make it work.  She slathered it on my hair and then as I rinsed it off-her shower looked like a copy of the Psycho  (Alfred Hitchcock-1960) classic bloody shower scene. I do love the results and have added a quick picture. The color is tough to see in the picture here.  I have another which shows more of my hair and the color which I will try to remember to pass along later!


Page 4.- The Back Page  That's about going to do it kids for this week's Sunday edition!  I will keep you all in my thoughts and pass along good vibes for a great week ahead for us all!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

My Failed Political Career!

Perhaps you have read this Halloween experience of mine in Cyrsti's Condo in the past, but I'm old so I think I'm allowed to repeat myself, if I can remember!

This experience was actually a year after my "French Woman" Halloween party and happened at a really neat old "painted lady" house.  A "painted lady" is actually one of the terms used around here for a wonderfully ornate Victorian wooden house.  The setting was a "natural" for a Halloween party!

I was still with my first wife and working as a DJ at a local radio station and getting increasingly bold about going out cross dressed at Halloween.  On this night, my wife stayed home and I actually went with one of the news girls at the station. (See I told you I had lots of rope!)

I finally gave up on a mystical perfect feminine character costume and just dressed as one, but this time not slutty. If I had a costume, it was simply a man cross dressed as a woman to the best of his ability.  By this time of my life, I had had the chance to accumulate a small wardrobe, a couple wigs and shoes.  I picked what I felt was a nice outfit. Wig, dress heels etc.  The whole effort was so mundane I really don't remember exactly what I wore - except people at the party began to comment who the "well dressed woman was." Well needless to say, I was really flattered and could move away from my spot by the vintage coffin with it's skeleton-as my date.

Then, as the evening progressed, I got the biggest surprise of all when a young politician and his girlfriend invited me to leave the party with them and go to a couple others.  It was one of those I wonder "what if" I had moments of my life. I didn't go and he ended up serving many terms in Washington.  (No Pat-this all happened many years before Monica Lewinski.)

Like a good cross dresser, I made sure the news woman got home and I went home to my wife and life-never knowing if I had a chance at a career in Washington afer all!

"Whirlin' and Twirlin' "

I'm really looking forward to tonight!

Liz and I are going to the Cincinnati Lesbian "Rainbow Dance" which is expected to draw in excess of three hundred people.

My outfit has been picked out for a week. Silky black "gaucho style" Black slacks, ballerina dressy black flats and a sleeveless top which is hard to describe except it is sort of a cross between an argyle and black and white tweed. I'm wearing my hair back tonight with the beaded transgender symbol beret Liz made me and I'm carrying a beaded black bag with a long silver should chain.

I'm set!

Or am I?  I got to thinking - what if Liz asks me to dance and worse yet, if someone else does!

People think I'm kidding when I say I have NO rhythm and damn little coordination!  In my past when I have drank my way into thinking I could dance, some mean person videoed me to show I couldn't!

Seriously, I am just going to tuck this little bit of paranoia way back in my noggin and play the dance card only if I have to.  Liz and I have this special way of hanging out in our own little world anyway and I sincerely doubt if I will have my dance card filled up. But if I'm asked, I know Liz will get a kick out of it, so I will dance.

It's a damn slight better than being part of the speed dating!  Can you imagine how I would do at that? I can tell you I have a "hair trigger mouth" which is set in motion by three parts of my body. My arse, my foot and my brain-in that order!

Also, we are looking forward to seeing if there are any other partners who identify lesbian/transgender as we do!

Finally, I am an incorrigible flirt, so I just can't wait for tonight!

"Out" for Halloween

Finally getting around to a couple of your comments here in Cyrsti's Condo to my first Halloween post!
Here they are, presented in a different format:

1. 
   Michellewhois

   Great story! I especially loved the statement "For the evening, I came up with a "costume" which not surprisingly, was more slut than originality. My skirt was short, heels high and hair was long. The result was a relatively uncomfortable evening in clothes I really hadn't spent enough time wearing to understand what I was "walking into" literally-my heels killed me. My imagined enjoyment of walking down the street in my panty hose, short skirt and freshly shaved legs did thrill for awhile-until the chill set in." It reminded me of way back when I first came crashing out into the world. It also reminded me of some of the other girls back then and how we strived for that sexy look instead of trying to find our happy medium in the world of women's fashion. Thank you for that brief glimpse of back in the past.
2. Michelle, you are welcome!  It was dark in that closet wasn't it!  Crashing is a good word!  Quoting an old Jerry Reed song "We had a long way to go and a short time to get there!"

3. 

   A "Horny" Halloween Costume Idea?

4. And Jen Smith: 
   My first time dressing as a woman was when I was in my early 20s. Yes for me it was also at Halloween, a party at a friend's house.
   
   If I recall, it came up as a spur of the moment thing. It was a Saturday, we knew we were going to this party but had no budget for costumes.
   
   An upstairs neighbor was in our apartment that day, and somehow it came up that I could go dressed as a woman. This neighbor had a blond wig that she offered up, and I think she also lent me some sling back heals that barely fit. I know I didn't last long at the party wearing them.
   
   That was over 25 years ago, and I remember just a few details. I vaguely remember wearing an off-white, or maybe more towards a light tan knee length dress. I think nude or white pantyhose. I don't remember anything about makeup, but I probably ended up with blush at least, probably not foundation or anything else.
   
   We got to the party, hosted at the parent's house of a fairly close buddy. As we got out of the car (I wasn't driving), another buddy of mine and his girlfriend came up to us, recognizing my future ex-wife.
   
   He asked her, while looking at me, "who is your friend you've brought along?" LOL! He didn't recognize me, nor did he realize I was a guy!
   
   Well, that was the first time out in public officially for me, and I faded back to just wearing pantyhose, stockings and panties off and on for the next 20 years before it dawned on me that I wanted to be a woman.
   
   Thanks Cyrsti for poking this memory out of my past!
5. Thanks to both of you ladies!!!
6. 
   

The "Don't I Know You" Halloween

This evening happened a couple years after the "Spook Out" trip to Columbus I posted recently here in Cyrsti's Condo.  I was still in total denial to anyone who asked about my cross dressing tendencies and still semi cautious about where I went locally-except this night.

One of the few big clubs in town in the early 80's was having it's big Halloween Dance/Party.  The whole idea of going was driving me crazier than I already was and finally I figured I would go for it and see if I could go incognito as a woman.  At the time I was still married to my first wife who would have said "whatever you think is right dear" if I had said I was going off for a sex change and would be gone for a few months.  It was never good to give me that much line to run with ever.  At the time too, her youngest sister (17) was living with us for awhile.

I can't remember now exactly where I acquired it, but I came up with a fairly form fitting sweater dress which (for once) wasn't "slut-short".  I belted it off, wore black panty hose, heels, blond wig (of course) and just happened to find a black beret to finish off my look.  With what I call a true red lipstick, I liked the outfit and felt good I thought.

To this day, I still remember the look of shock on my sister in law's face when I came out of the bathroom. Shaved legs and all.

I figured I had zero chance of anyone in my home town recognizing me at the club.  First of all, most of my friends didn't go there anyhow and I hadn't been back around for very long. Wrong! I wasn't there through one drink when this guy in a mask came up and said "I know you!"  I said no you don't and he simply said "you look just like your Mother." Really? I almost dropped my drink as he pulled up his mask. He did know my Mother and I.


So much for my wonderful plan of going "incognito".  The evening did however still turn out to be lots of fun in my "French Girl" outfit! As far as the guy went, I had grown up with him in a very small circle of friends. He was always pretty wild and he taught me how to drive when I was 14 and things like that. His aunt owned a little variety corner store in a less than fancy side of town.  When we could, we would go there and read the trashy mags and newspaper of the day. He may have noticed me giving a little too much attention to the female impersonator articles! Similar to the one on the left!  He knew! I might as well just old him my "dirty little secret." Oh well!

Working Mom!

From Salon.com :

Meghan Stabler (Credit: YouTube/Meghan Stabler)

 Meghan Stabler describes herself as “just like any other mom, be she single, partnered or married.” She says, “I’m planning meals, balancing budgets, figuring out how to encourage my child to enjoy reading, and juggling my schedule to accommodate taking my daughter to the doctor when she’s sick.” She’s a business executive and a human rights advocate. She’s also just been named Working Mother’s Working Mother of the Year, and as such, she’s not just like any other mom. She’s a trailblazer. Because she’s the first transgender woman to achieve that honor. The Human Rights Campaign, where Stabler serves on the Board of Directors, announced the news Wednesday, offering congratulations and quoting Working Mother’s editorial director Jennifer Owens, who calls her “a true champion.”


Brings up the question:  Just how deep can the feminine run in transgender women even though they are not a baby birthing womyn?

"Frocked?"

No, fellow party girls, not crocked- Frock (as in the magazine).  Have you ever heard of it?  If you haven't, you should because it is quite the publication put together by Editor Katie Glover.  I like Frock because of the way Katie has been able to cover our very diverse community.  In Katie's own words:

Frock Magazine is your free drag and transgender related bi-monthly, for drag queens, transsexuals, transvestites, crossdressers and transgender people everywhere, full of features and articles about well known members of the transgender community, crossdressing clothes and clothing guides, make-up tutorials, transgender related movie and book reviews, trans-activism, news and fiction


In addition, you can count on colorful, classy pictures and you can view the whole magazine on line free or purchase it for your very own!

Oh yes, while you are there check out my article on page 52! "Frock of Ages" (Follow the link above!)

And yes sillies, I always read Frock before I was humbled and flattered to be chosen to write for it!

Cyrsti's Condo "The REAL Story"

So no one needs to know all those "guys nights out" really weren't?

Cyrsti's Condo "Good ol' Girls"

Define: "Good ol Girl"  :  At least a 40 something genetic with an edge - who figures she could either out drink you,out flirt you or out screw you - under the table.

Truthfully, it's a genre of genetics I migrate to and always have.

This morning, my "good ol girl" presented her self in all her glory during my two hour drive back home from Liz's.  When I went down there the other day to help with a couple hospital tests (which went well!) I was traveling light and just tossed a couple changes of jeans and sweaters in my suitcase.

By this morning, I was down to what I call my old "hippie" bell bottoms, long knitted sweater and what I call my "furries".  A pair of suede shoes I have which are very comfy. I really wasn't planning on stopping anywhere but still gave my hair a liberal dose of Liz's (expensive) Moroccan hair spray (when she wasn't looking.)  My hair is nothing more than a "poof ball" of frizzies in our damp weather these days if I don't.

As it turned out, Cincinnati's highways were really slow this morning.  By the time I got less than half way back, I was positively craving a cup of coffee. I took a quick look at my hair, knew what I was wearing-finger combed it , applied tooooo much black eye makeup and headed into a busy fuel stop for my cup o joe.

Even though my coffee was all I was looking for, the same wasn't true for several of the other patrons.  First of all I had to potty, then made my way through a relatively crowded store to the coffee machines.  On occasion, genetic good ol's don't think much of my "intrusion" but there weren't any of them there.  However, their male equivalents were. 

Surely, I did get a few looks from them because I probably looked like I had been up all night!  The genetics didn't seem to notice at all and I thought "well, never a dull moment"

Home now and ready for a nap!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Just Another Halloween?

Truly, I'm not sure if there is ever just another Halloween for most of us.  In my case, the day was the beginnings of a chance to journey out of the closet and begin to learn my true gender identity.  She was screaming at me, but I wouldn't listen.

My first Halloween adventure was when (after the Army) I settled back in for several years in my home town (here in Ohio) came when a group of friends and I went to an event called a "Spook Out" (as I recall) in the late 1970's.  It was a time when certain cities were busy restoring their ornate old downtown theatres. Including Columbus, Ohio which was presenting the silent original movie version of the "Phantom of the Opera" complete with the newly restored theatre organ.

Of course, the evening was custom made for an aspiring cross dresser to get out of the closet and explore the world.  I  managed to have a wonderful time.

I say "managed" because I felt a lot of unneeded pressure to enjoy every second, feel the process and secretly wondering if I could blend and pass. 

For the evening, I came up with a "costume" which not surprisingly, was more slut than originality.  My skirt was short, heels high and hair was long.  The result was a relatively uncomfortable evening in clothes I really hadn't spent enough time wearing to understand what I was "walking into" literally-my heels killed me.  My imagined enjoyment of walking down the street in my panty hose, short skirt and freshly shaved legs did thrill for awhile-until the chill set in.

Back in those days though, I could still pay the price for fashion.  Thirty plus years of working on my feet in high volume restaurants hadn't caught up with me yet and the shaved legs/hose was still electric.

Can't say the evening was "magical" but up to that time in my life, it most certainly was fun and  a quality learning experience. Plus, I don't believe I have ever seen so many, imaginative costumes in one place ever.

Sadly, for whatever reasons, the restored theatres around me at least have not done similar events for years.  These days though, so many more venues have opened for younger transgender women heading out to explore the world.

Back in those days though, it was a time of limits and deep dark closets for me and the evening was custom made.

Cyrsti's Condo "OOOPPS!"

Un identified cross dresser

Hey! You guys didn't say it was drag RACING night at the bar-I just heard drag!

Cyrsti's Condo Monday "Star Gazing"

Already!  Another week has flown by and it's time for another look at our astrological "signage"
First of all, as always,here are my fellow Libra's:


(September 23-October 22): Get to hunting for hearty meat that gives you satisfaction and sustenance. Picking at the bones is no way to live. So, when tables turn this week, exposing someone’s weaknesses, be okay with dropping the ball and letting them roll away into the gutter and out of your way. Not just practical, but sadistically fun to watch happen.

It seems I have a lot of "irony" in my life and my "scope" fits it too as just yesterday I was using the old term from my hippie days - "tasty!" Plus, when I think about it, sadistically fun fits me too!

Well, since I was mentioning my hippie days, it's just fitting we feature the "Age of Aquarius" sign as our guest this week:


(January 20-February 19): Magical mayhem will be in the works, pushing you up the ladder of dreams. While you may have to see the demise of another before getting what you want, know that being witness to this mess is your reminder that you are merely starting another level of challenges. No matter. If this recent win were to make sense easily, you’d find it less intriguing.

There you go for another week kids!  Go here to theFrisky if we missed your sign!  Peace and Love !

The Ultimate "Purge"

I promise honey-I will never wear your clothes again! (At least not these!)

Trans Youth Rule!

From the Marietta (Ga) Daily Journal:

 In what is believed to be a first for a Georgia high school, a transgender student has been elected to Walton High School’s homecoming court.


Sage Lovell, 16, was one of about 50 other girls in the junior class who were first nominated for homecoming court. The junior class then elected her and three other young women to serve on the court. She is not eligible for homecoming queen since that position is only offered to seniors.

Sage said she is excited she was chosen, and has received support from many of her classmates, who came up to her and told her they were going to vote for her.

“I’m so flattered to be representing my school, to be, like, able to, like, just represent my entire junior class,” she said.

Read more: The Marietta Daily Journal - I m so flattered Transgender Walton student believed first in state to be elected to homecoming court