Friday, October 31, 2014

Trans Partners

Similar to a recent credit card commercial around here, let's give it time to let that comment set in for awhile.

....Time's up! A trans partner could be anything from a transgender man with a genetic, to a transgender woman with a cis man, to transgender men and trans women in a relationship. (I know I'm missing many other potential pairs, especially if you throw sexuality into the picture."

Fortunately for all of us Helen Boyd addressed the issue recently in her en/Gender Blog.  If you follow the link, you will see Helen's links to "Neither a Pity or a Fetish" or a huge Reddit "Message Bard" called "My Partner is Trans."

And of course, an excerpt from the blog itself from Helen Boyd:

"In the first set, there’s a list of the “allowable” types of partners – “boxes”:

1. Straight cis man is with a straight trans woman because she ‘probably’ still has a penis and, therefore, ‘he’s probably actually gay’.
2. Straight cis man is with a straight trans woman AND HE IS DECEIVED.
3. Straight cis woman stays with her transitioning partner, is to be pitied.
4. Straight cis woman is with a straight trans man AND WHERE IS THE PENIS, WE MUST ASK WHERE THE PENIS IS, CAN YOU FIND IT FOR US?
5. Gay cis woman is with a straight trans man, and that’s okay, because we all knew that ‘he’ was actually a lesbian woman all along.
And I wonder where these come from. When I was coming up, only #s 2, 3, & 5 existed, and I didn’t fit into any of them very well either, unless you see me as the “to be pitied” type, which I don’t.
Always useful to see/hear more partners speak up."
Indeed! Most of you regulars here in Cyrsti's Condo know my partner is a genetic/lesbian.  Which even gives a little different spin to our relationship with the world.  One of these days, I'm going to be able to convince her to write a post or two for the Condo about what she thinks of all of this!

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