Revenge Is a Dish Served How?

Over the years, I spent so much time wondering why and sometimes poking light fun at the females around me for two reasons- keys and hair.
I couldn't figure out the untold minutes wasted as women with me looked for their keys.
I also couldn't figure out the endless need to "do something with my hair".

Over the years, I have come to pride myself on the fact I have to have a fairly decent shot to the noggin (short of a concussion) to understand.
So here I am on that threshold.
Hot humid, sticky weather has arrived in my world with a vengeance. My hair is in a very in between place. Not quite long enough for a real pony tail, it is giving me fits. My survival tools are hair bands and hats so far. In the meantime I am feeling that endless need to "do something with my hair".
My plan is to wait another month or so and seek professional help- no not mental this time!
The idea is to find a stylist who can trim my hair in preparation for the future.
In the meantime...ha ha the jokes on me for ever doubting the need to do something with my hair.
BUT!
The biggest meanest "karma" swing of the two is the "key" debacle.

Some sort of invisible force moves my keys in my purse in some sort of grand gesture of perverse joy.
Ha ha, the jokes on me again. Just where are those damn keys?