No Growth without Change

I saw this quote this morning as I was going through a few of my Word Press contacts and discovered this quote from Almas who writes about his internal monologue. At that point I started to think about all the times during my gender transition when I have been so scared I thought I couldn't move. 

Possibly the first of which occurred when I was probably no older than twelve. During that time of my life, I augmented my meager allowance by delivering newspapers  in the rural area we lived. I was able to save enough money to attempt to buy my own cross dressing accessories such as makeup. As it turned out, my Grandma lived within walking distance of the medium sized town we lived close to. 

Once I accumulated enough money, I figured out a way I could visit Grandma and spend the night. With my plan in place, I proceeded to do it. As I was to find out, that was the easy part. Finally the time arrived to try out my plan and needless to say I was equally thrilled and scared to go shopping for makeup for the first time ever. The downtown had several of the old school variety stores before Wal-Mart and the mall wiped them all out. I carefully chose one and after circling it several times, I decided to go in. My Dad didn't work too far away and he was the last person I wanted to run into! After I was fairly certain I didn't know anyone in the store, I found the makeup counter. Then I was truly in a panic. I had no idea of what to buy, there were so many choices. 

Somehow, I calmed down enough to purchase a couple items and found the nerve to go pay for them. My worst fears were not founded as she barely checked out my treasures and sent me on my way.

I changed and grew dramatically on that day. I knew from then on I was capable of buying my own feminine items. Even tough countess times I bought the wrong thing, again I was changing and growing. As it turned out, my next big purchases were a pair of my own black tights and shoes. 

Little did I know, this would only be the first of many chances to expand my transition in the years ahead.

On a another subject, I decided to add an old picture of me from several years ago as a dark haired summer casual woman to combat all the recent blondes I have shared here in Cyrsti's Condo,  

A Tribute to Leelah Alcorn?

Most certainly one of the main ideas Leelah Alcorn wanted to pass along before the young transgender teen girl committed suicide almost exactly a year ago close to Cincinnati, Ohio was- to have her death mean something.

If you don't remember, Leelah's parents were devout conservative Christians and subjected their daughter to conversion therapy. Now it seems, Leelah's message is coming through-here in Cincinnati at least:



"The Nati" again stands to become a national leader in LGBT rights as debate isscheduled Monday on a measure that would ban preoperative or conversion therapy for LGBT youth

City Council Member Chris Seelbach said Thursday that at Monday’s meeting of the council’s law and public safety committee, he will propose an ordinance that would impose a $200-a-day fine on a therapist or counselor practicing the therapy that aims to “change” lesbians, gay men, bisexuals or transgender people from their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Passage apparently would make Cincinnati the first major U.S. city to ban reparative or conversion therapy. The Movement Advancement Project, an LGBT organization in Denver that tracks legislation nationwide on reparative therapy, has no record of a city passing an ordinance that would ban the practice.

Cincinnati has pioneered other official moves to embrace LGBT citizens, including offering health benefits to transgender city employees and setting aside a City Hall bathroom as gender-neutral.

As promising as it this all is, the problem of Evangelical Christians doing their own "therapy." Still under the radar and in the same room with the snakes.

Plus, in Leelah's case, her church I believe was across the Ohio River-out of reach from those "pesky" regulations forbidding brainwashing your LGBTQ child. 

But the resolution is a great start!!!!

Cyrsti's Condo Mail Box

It was a great day in the response department and my staff of 50 has been struggling to keep up! When I opened my email this morning I was greeted by a wonderful letter from Jessica in France. As I told her I was humbled and flattered following her opinion of this effort...Thanks Jessica!

Rest assured, praise is nice and this little ol eight grade educated Ohio transgender girl is happy when any of you stop by! Let's see now, we have a London, Ohio down the road. How far away can France really be? :)

Seriously, I am flattered too when other highly visible people in the trans community drop by as Brianna Austin did to leave a comment on my Mentally Ill post:
 "Normal is as normal does Forest Gump said, as did Sally Field when she appeared with Johnny Carson some years back, which was the thought behind my essay Defining Normal. Take a look and let me know what you think. Here."

The post brings up many compelling looks at the true lack of normality and is certainly worth your time.
For the moment I would like to add  Normal to me would have been waking up in the morning knowing what gender I was.. Since it never happened, being transgender became my norm once I accepted it.

And then one of my favorite contributors to this cosmic collection of gender flux is Jamiegottagun and brings it to many discussions!
In many ways she comments on subjects which I am too lazy or lose interest in to go deeper in my posts. You all have to remember I share attention spans with young kids!
At any rate Jamie commented on PMS . To paraphrase she said her male appearing body produces female hormones naturally so most months experiences a non menstrual period. (Which I knew does exist in genetic women too and the fact many men do have a monthly period.) I posted her full comment on the blog itself.
You see, many times you all are very helpful with information.
I also want to go out on a very thick limb here and state the full menstrual process is similar to the rest room card. If a genetic women is insecure about herself she may play them on you!

Finally! The fun comment- again from Jamie mentioning my  Monica Roberts and the Tea Baggers post.
Yes Jamie I do read some of Monica's "stuff" as well as some of the "stuff" from Rad Fems etc.
I'm a firm believer in the rants from the right and left perhaps we can find a middle point,
I have to tell you if I was a Black American in this country today, I would agree more in her criticism of the Republican Party.
Also, I do wonder what happened to all those fervent T Party rallies which used to frequent my conservative part of the country?
Then again, I was the one person in my unit in the military who would admit to voting for McGovern over Nixon.  When my tour was up I told them "Mark my words...Nixon's a crook."
As far as Monica being a bigot? Hell yes!
For all I know, she will stop in and blast me!!!!

Thanks All!!!!!