Trans Terf's in the Girl's Sandbox.

I read with interest today a blog post from whom I consider a "Trans-Terf" (Terf is a trans exclusionary radical feminist.) The person writing the post was transgender and right off the bat she excluded me (I hadn't transitioned long enough)? As I read on, then I understood why I was not worthy.  She said and I paraphrase- almost no one had the gender experiences she lived through (Really? Me thinks what she didn't lose in her transition was her male ego.)

Well OK! Now I understood!  First the woymn born woymn crowd excluded me because I wasn't born with the proper equipment between my legs.  First,  I lived my life for years as one of those evil male privileged humans who beat and slandered every genetic woman I could find. And now, here I was, trying to sneak into the hen house through the back door.

Shame on me!

Then, there was this person excluding me in almost the same way as the woymn born woymn crowd she purported to be against..Dammit! It seems I didn't have a store bought vagina to be admitted there either. Or even owned it long enough.

Seriously, in some what the same vein,  the one of my biggest fears around here in Cyrsti's Condo has always been climbing up on a slippery pedestal with the Trans Terfs and then proclaiming I'm better than any of the rest of you.  I'm not.

It doesn't matter to me if you are on HRT or not, or are even out of the closet or not!   I remember all too well the hell of being in the closet for at least 30 years and trying to play both sides of the gender street.  Plus, if the truth is known,  if the cards didn't fall the way they turned out-I may still be in the closet. Also, I went through at least another five years of non gender related hell to land on my feet...so I could come out.

It still doesn't make me a better person than any of you,  it just makes me a very determined survivor.

I have always thought though, that a lot of the bitter trans women who take me to task for my length of time as a transgender woman in the world, are jealous. They are jealous because the sun, the moon and stars aligned for me and now I'm having the time of my life. (I guess I wasn't supposed to?)

So if you ever notice I may be trying to climb up to that pedestal where the blessed Trans Terf's" live - just slap me the hell down!

Three Reasons Not to Go Trans Stealth

Recently I read a post by Autumn Sandeen called "Paying it forward for future generations of trans people".
You regular visitors here in Cyrsti's Condo know how I feel about transgender women or men transitioning into another closet-which is called stealth. And of course Autumn is completely correct in her assessment of  "paying forward" into the trans community.

I have three powerful reasons not to run away and hide as a transgender woman- my grand kids.This afternoon I had yet another powerful opportunity to pay forward to my grand kids. Who I'm out to. It was my first chance to talk to them about how great the Boy Scout inclusion move was. But, as I was told it was only a beginning and they couldn't wait to show me some sort of new "badges" to wear on their uniforms.

I know what you are thinking, Cyrsti got side tracked again and forgot Autumn! Relax!  Here is her beginning thoughts:


"Why should I personally go forward as a trans activist pushing for change? Why do anything for trans and LGBT community members when I have received a significant amount of pushback through the years from the religious right, LGBT community members, radical lesbian feminist separatists and even transsexual separatists? I’ve written in the past about why there is trans activism and what are the major goals of trans activism, but have never really spelled out what motivates me personally."

As always she presents a very through and cohesive look at her thoughts.(Unlike some of us!) To read it go here.

Transgender Self Help

On too many occasions, I hear from transgender women who are painfully stuck in the closet.
There are ways out of your dark room and every once in a while someone steps forward with a great idea.
This one comes from Toni D'Orsay and her Dyssonance blog.
(Disclaimer. Sometimes Toni gets a little "wordy" for my tastes but she does incredible with this!)


"Idea: for the month of March, volunteer for 20 hours with an organization or project that specifically deals with trans folk, or solve a local problem. Without getting involved in politics. When I say without getting involved in politics, I mean without becoming embroiled in the online arguments we see, without lobbying for a law to change, without going to see a politician and getting them to vote for something. Kinda different for a request, isn't it? It is a suggestion to you in order to get you to help yourself. The difficulty is that the way that it helps you is indirect -- far more so than working on some change in law. It is going to affect other trans people, and that, in turn, is going to affect your life and make it richer, make it better. You might wonder why I am doing this now, as February comes calling, but the reason is that I want you to take a month a research the organizations in your area that do things for Trans people other than the political. You will have to research them. You will have to hunt for them. Well, that is unless you live in New York or Boston or San Francisco or Los Angeles. Some of the organizations will be doing political work as well, and that's ok. Just say you want to spend 20 hours in an entire month doing whatever it is that they need done. I haven't talked about this idea with any other organization. This isn't part of some secret trans activist effort carefully coordinated behind the scenes. Yes, those things happen. They have to if we are going to get some things to change. No, this is just me, by myself, asking you, personally, to stop for 20 hours in March and volunteer your time to help trans people. And I am asking you to start looking for that trans organization now."

For more on the post and Dyssonance go here:

Are We All Transgender Activists?

In this age of extreme media in every area of our lives it's easy to be a trans activist- or be confused with one.
Then again, what exactly defines a trans activist? Let's use transgender broadcaster Eden Lane as an example.
She was interviewed recently by Michelangelo Signorile:

“Once in a while, I may be asked to identify myself and make a statement in a certain way, I think that would undermine the meaning of my work, not just for my work's sake, but for the very reason they're wanting to identify me as a transgender broadcaster. If I were to make political statements, then that undermines my credibility as a journalist. And if that's the point, that I'm a journalist first, and that people are tuning in to watch my program not because I'm talking exclusively about LGBT issues, but all sorts of things, then for me to step up and try to be a political figure would undermine that work and really rob us all of a chance to have a different kind of example available.”

So of course in certain circles in the transgender community I have seen Eden criticized for not being a trans activist...Really? Isn't she the type of positive example we all need? She is a non stealth person just living her life as a real person-the perfect activist!