Showing posts with label Meet Ups. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Meet Ups. Show all posts

Thursday, December 12, 2019

Integration

Every once in a while I giggle (to my self) when I notice one of the cross dressers I happen to be around becoming a little too "outgoing" with an outfit or actions. I add "to my self" because in the past I have gotten into trouble with my thoughts. Why?

Years ago, I was told by my deceased wife I didn't have any real idea of what being a woman was all about. All I wanted to do was to be the "pretty, pretty princess."  You know what? She was right.

My disclaimer here is...it's fine to be the pretty princess but don't think it is representative of living in society full time as a transgender woman. It just isn't.

Fortunately these days, there are many paths opening up which can aid your integration into mainstream society.

Both Paula and Connie have comments.

From Paula:

"I fear that all too many of us spend way too much time with other trans people. I didn't go through all this so I could join an exclusive club! I want to enjoy my life as a woman out in general society; making music with my friends, watching some Rugby and just generally getting on with life."

I agree, I know now I spend the majority of my "social" time with non trans people. 

And now from Connie:

"I would encourage anyone who wants to put themselves in the mainstream to find a Meetup group in their area. Just about any subject or activity that may interest you has a group you can join. The first one I joined was a women's dine-out group. I messaged the organizer, beforehand, just to let her know that I was trans. She thanked me and said that it was OK with her. I did then ask her to not tell the others, because I wanted to attend without any preconceived notions. I proceeded by joining other groups that were not gender-specific. There are lgbtq groups, as well, but I avoid them. I would rather come across another member of the lgbtq community among a mainstream group. Over the years, there has been only one woman who objected to my being a part of the group. She expressed this to the organizer, who told her not to attend if she didn't like being in the same room with a trans woman. Her loss, not mine!

Volunteering is a great way to find acceptance within a group. Kandi tells of many experiences she has through volunteering in her Kandi's Land blog. I've not done as much volunteering as I'd like, but it's not because I'm worried about my trans status - maybe a little laziness, though.

Finding a job may be more difficult than working one, but I don't think there has been anything more affirming than gaining the trust and appreciation of an employer, not to mention that I work totally integrated with the public.

The day I made the decision to live totally as my true-self, I did just that. Part of that decision was that I needed to stop doubting myself, if I were to expect anyone else to not doubt me. Of course, I was totally cognizant that some may doubt my womanhood, but the onerous is on them to either accept me or stay away; I exist, and I have the same right to be anywhere and do anything as do they.

There is a process involved in getting oneself to be confident enough to begin a transition, but I think that, unless one is willing to jump in all-the-way, the transition (at least, socially) may be unnecessarily fraught with pitfalls. I enjoy living in the mainstream now. All I can say is: Jump on in; the water's fine! :-)"

"Meet Up" groups are a great way to go! Liz and I have been to many. I have only been refused once. To a lesbian only group. Like you said, their loss, not mine. 

Plus, while I am on the subject of you (Connie), here is your picture from a decade ago!

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Kerplunk! Another Sunday edition from the Condo is hitting your virtual front porch.  This week around here at least, warm jammies and hot cocoa are in fashion- it's a brisk six degrees...but no snow.  Let's get started.
Page One.-The Week that WAS or Wasn't:  Overall, it seemed the new "it" community (transgender) took a week to pause and look at what happened, what it all meant and what it will mean.  I know to some of you, most of it means nothing.  An example is a person I have seen on Facebook asking if she was the only trans person in Ripley, Ohio?  If you know anything about Ripley and the area around it, it's safe to say in this little Ohio River town in a less than liberal area-she may be-but in reality she lives only a little more than 40 minutes from where I do in Cincinnati. Still others who I chat with on Google+ point to their "passing privilege still being a major problem.  I'm fairly sure both still will be in the near future. The difference is when someone looks at you and thinks you may be "one of them", it's not a bad or evil thing.
Page Two.-Transition Time Lines?  My oft quoted (or off quoted) Connie brought up the fact I was entering another of my "time lines" as I wrote about all the "groups" Liz has signed us up for.  FYI, if you live in or near to a population center of any size, Google "Meet Up's", at least in Cincinnati there are tons of them.  The utilitarian use is you can find one deeply into your interests and as you attend, being transgender just goes away-quickly.  As I have written many times, people don't readily know I am deeply shy and reticent about meeting new peeps. Regardless of being transgender or not. I will however go with Liz and yes, the experiences have taken me to new levels of negotiating the world.

Page Three.-Getting Social -Media? For the most part, my social media excursions into Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn are very unremarkable-just regular folks like me.  On occasion though, I hit the jackpot and hookup with those who are really making a difference!  For example, this morning on Twitter, I received a request for a follow from a University of Cincinnati gender studies person and an acceptance of my LinkedIn request from another very visible transgender woman activist here in Cinci. 
Page Four.-We Got Mail!  Maria HardingFebruary 15, 2015 at 2:01 AM Thank you for the information listed here. I never really stopped and thought about how many people are actually included in trans* numbers until more people began coming forward. I appreciated your insights and courage as you continue on your journey. We have come a long way.
FABULOUSCONNIEDEEFebruary 15, 2015 at 3:27 AM Now I'm starting to get a little worried about overkill?  Is that a possibility I wonder?
Thanks to both to you!  I think those of us "in the community" knew how many of us were deeply stuck in the closet. On my part though, I thought the "outing" would come completely from the "bottom/up" starting with the younger generation.  Now though we are seeing more and more from different ages. Yes Connie, I too view the overkill as a reason to head stealth but there is still too much to do with too many people to do it. 

Page Five: The Back Page:  See ya, thank ya!!!!

A Vocal Trans Girl

  Image from Brooke Cagle on UnSplash The other night when we went out to eat, I needed to order what I wanted food wise loud enough to be h...