Cyrsti's Condo "Power Scope"

"Up Scope!" and let's look to the stars!

Libra.- (September 23-October 22): If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Don’t let logic slip your mind when you want to take an easier way out. There are no shortcuts now and as lucky as you feel, be mindful of what you agree to. Of course, optimism is a beautiful thing, but this week it can make you a sucker. You’re better than that! Just note: If you sweat this week, you’re doing it right.

The problem with this scope is...with the hot humid summer weather around the "Condo"  there is plenty of "glistening" going on with me anyhow!  As far as optimism goes, I rather take my chances with it other than the opposite-negativity!

As always, be positive kids and go here to theFrisky for your scope!

Back Fill!

This is sort of a "companion" post to yesterday's very abbreviated "Sunday Edition" here in Cyrsti's Condo.

As you may remember, my Mother in Law is in very critical condition in the hospital and basically they have put her in a self induced coma. There isn't much to do but wait and pray that whatever happens-she is comfortable and gets to a better place. "Nuff" said.

Of my wife's family, her Mom and her sister are really the end of the line.(Of course my wife passed years ago.)  When my sister in law met up with me yesterday before we went to the hospital, see hadn't seen me for awhile.  I wasn't wearing a ball hat and the first thing she said was something to the effect of "if I didn't know your hair wasn't natural, I wouldn't know."  I said the hair or the color? The hair of course is all natural.    She said no - the color or colors from what is left from my last high lighting.  By this time, I was figuring the conversation was heading in the only direction it really could and I said, "yes my hair has been highlighted and there is a reason. Then, I told her the whole reason why, I was transgender which led to an hour's worth of questions about my life, my married life with her sister and my daughter.

Coming out to her went amazingly well with her for a couple of reasons.  First of all, with all the love in the world, I would describe her as having a couple of screws loose in the noggin. So with no real right wind political or religious agenda, I figured she would not have many issues with me coming out.  What blew me away though, was how much she already knew about trans women and men from television and it was positive.  Naturally, there were more serious issues at hand and quickly we were on our way to the hospital.

I don't recommend this idea as an ideal way to come out to a family member and I wasn't planning to bring it up.  When she was fishing with me though about what was going on as so many genetic women do-I just told her.

Ironically in her prime, she was a purse fanatic and when we got back from the hospital, she just had to show me the literally five large plastic tubs of purses she had stored away.  My wife would change bags twice a year, her sister-weekly it seemed.  At any rate, as she was going through them all and asking my opinion, she started giving me one or two
along the way. To the left you see part of the 18 purses I ended up bringing home (most in trash bags)

All I can say is, it's too bad we aren't the same size!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

No "Kerplunk" yet this week kids-all kinds of a crazy weekend which started with Liz and I celebrating yet another Pride night close to her home turf across the Ohio River from Cincinnati in Northern Kentucky and ending with my deceased wife's mother who I still consider my Mother in Law in the hospital in very critical condition from a ruptured intestine.

Plus, just to add a little spice I came out to my sister in law today too.

More later.

Trans "Girl Chat"

I have made mention here in Cyrsti's Condo of my two dear transgender friends, one a trans man and the other a trans woman.

The other night, I also made mention of the Equality Ohio meeting my trans girl friend invited me to attend. Afterwards, we were able to sit down and engage in some very rare T-girl chat.

No matter how you cut it, our experiences are so unique, it's difficult to even find another transgender person geographically close to you-let alone be able to sit down and talk face to face.

Even though my friend is much younger than me, in many ways we are at the same cross roads in our transition.  An example is how we both agonize over actually pushing ahead with our gender marker changes.  My problem is a combination of pure laziness and procrastination more than anything else. I'm notoriously bad about not living in the present, so if something isn't particularly bothering me (gender markers) then I can easily put them off in my mind.  As we discussed (and I have written in the past)  changing your gender marker with the DMV here in Ohio is not particularly tough and (as I understand it) neither is the social security set up.

On the other hand here,  birth certificates are impossible.  Plus, my trans guy friend has done all he could including a legal name change, so he knows the process and I can ask him for specifics.  I do know I have to go back to my therapist at the VA to get some sort of a letter too, so that is not much of a problem.  Other than that, I don't want to even get into how the VA works, except to thank trans vet Autumn Sandeen (shown above) for opening many doors I will need to go through to change my markers in the VA system which is a huge step towards NOT being called by your male name when you go in for an appointment.


Other than the marker chat, we talked about her work and how she planned to handle any transition on the job.  All three of us have gone different routes with jobs.  I of course am retired but I could tell you without a shadow of a doubt my last employer would have made any transition on the job hell on me.  My trans man has transitioned on the job already (with - as I understand it various stages of acceptance.) Finally, my trans woman friend has not transitioned past the point of being viewed (I imagine) as a very effeminate man.  One of them works for a perceived diverse company and the other company-not so much.  Bottom line is, she has a lot to consider with transitioning on the job including no real legal protection.

By now you are probably thinking, did you two have any sort of girly girl chat?  Yes we did.  She asked me why I rarely wear skirts and what was I doing about facial hair. Truthfully, I am very much a contradiction in terms (again) in that I'm sort of a "Tom-Boy" trans woman and that's the way it is. (It sends the trans purists over the edge. Like I'm supposed to conform to their ideas?)  As far as electrolysis goes, I have a couple problems called finances and aversion to pain. On the other hand, my friend is already baby smooth but seems to always be heading back for more treatments.

Finally, before we parted ways-we did talk about the future on a bigger "what if" scale, as far as possible surgical procedures.  My trans man is actually close to his "top surgery" and I wish him the best and all of a sudden, there is a glimmer of hope (with recent developments) I may be able to at least look into the two procedures I would really like to have-breast augmentation and FFS, facial feminization surgery.  I will have to get back with you on what my trans friend thought about herself except she "really" wanted something done about her nose.

So, all in all, it was a fun couple of hours with another person who has walked a mile in my shoes and vice versa. They are so difficult to find!!!

Cyrsti's Condo - "OOPS!"

I just knew I should have fixed that lock before my wife got home!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Yet another fascinating before and after Mtf transgender transition picture is our feature cover today. The

beautiful Thalita Zampirolli.

Tragic

While we bitterly kick around issues such as who is "trans enough" and who is politically correct...the real world comes crashing through...very close to me...since I am from Ohio and live part time in Cincinnati.

From Trans Ohio:

We are a community that pushes forward even as our community continues to face onslaughts of negative press, slurs and excessively high rates of violence.  We have to. 

 

Tiff Edwards, a 28-year-old trans woman of color was found dead yesterday morning in the middle of a Cincinnati street.  She had been shot to death and her body was found by a city sanitation employee. 

 

Tiff is the fourth trans woman to be murdered in Ohio within the last 18 months.  “The brutality and violence we see being committed against trans communities of color is real. It’s happening in our own cities, in our own state. This violence needs to end. Trans lives matter,” Shane Morgan, said founder and chair of TransOhio.

 

Police aren't sharing much information about their investigation. We urge anyone in the Cincinnati community to contact the Cincinnati Police Department or call the Criminal Investigation Section at 352-3542 or CRIMESTOPPERS at 352-3040 or text “CINTIP” plus your message to CRIMES (274637).  Callers may remain anonymous and may receive compensation for their information. 

 

"While I didn't know Tiff or the circumstance surrounding her death, what I do know is that no human being deserves to die in such a violent way. Based on comments from social media she was well liked and will be missed but not forgotten. My prayers go out to her family and friends, may God comfort and keep them through this turbulent time," say Arykah Carter, TransOhio Board Member.

This violence must end.  Trans Lives Matter.  Not One More.

Not one more murder. Not one more death. Not one more.

Not One More.

We simply AREN'T disposable people!!!!

Organizin'

Last night I was fortunate in that I happened to be around my hometown and not Cincinnati and at the last minute my transgender friend told me of a meeting we should go to.

I live in one of the 23 or so Springfield's in the United States and not a place anyone is going to mistake for a hotbed of liberal activity.  That's OK if you are talking about fiscal politics, not the social right wingers who of course base much of their anti TGLBQ beliefs squarely from the Bible.

The meeting last night was organized by Equality Ohio, who among other things is fighting for same sex marriage in Ohio (which we all know is just a legal battle away from happening) and a vastly more important anti-discrimination bill which is working it's way through the Ohio legislature again.  Predictably, it always makes it through the senate and is shot down in the house of representatives and like in other places, it's a Democrat versus Republican issue.  Unfortunately now, the Tea Party is beginning to rear it's ugly head here too.

I'm not going to get real political here but will simply say, personally I believe in the Tea Party's professed financial agenda but why in the hell did they feel the need to jump into a social agenda too?  Locally there is written proof of a letter to the NAACP pushing the idea of TGLBQ rights possibly infringing on any of the future rights of the black population.  Really?  The scary thing locally is our long time state house Republican Representative ally is stepping down and a very virulent Tea Party candidate is running for his seat.  They are like roaches in your tea-very hard to get out if they get in.  This guy has already said he refuses to hire any GLBT employees or deal with any outside contractors who do.

Predictably, the meeting was sparsely attended and I don't make a value judgement on that either-I know many just can't when their jobs and livelihoods are at stake-and they are around here.  I just happen to be at a juncture of my life where it is harder for the bigots to get after me.  The group last night was diverse though, attended by two trans women, several gay men, an equal amount of lesbians and ally's.  Plus, it was held in a church and the pastor attended.

What happened?  We were given actual paper work, forms and phone numbers to contact our politicians. I'm the first to admit, I'm pretty jaded from a life of abuses from this country's political system - which some days I find amazing still works at all.  BUT, when I was given the phone number to a very powerful politico in "Warshington" (local spelling) - Speaker of the House John Boehner, (yes I am in his district) I simply said, "I know you are a busy man but could you take a moment and reflect exactly why basic American freedoms are being withheld from a sizable portion of the population and what if they were your son or daughter?"

I don't want to walk away from this post sounding too negative. On the other hand, if any of us thinks out and out discrimination against our community is not happening should have been there with us last night to hear a few of stories.  Too many of us think our freedoms are being fought for in far off lands by people in uniforms when in reality they are happening here and now.

I've said it before here in Cyrsti's Condo. You don't have to be "out" or a so called activist to make a difference when you vote.  In fact you can stay safely in the closet and do the right thing- vote for TGBLQ rights.

If you follow the links above, they contain contact info.

In Honor of the World Cup!

The country of Brazil is hosting this year's "World Cup" in soccer and our feature cover in Cyrsti's Condo is Brazilian beauty MtF transsexual model  Ariadna Arantes,  as transwoman and boy:

Sticky Labels

Hollybnh pretty much head the nail on the head with this comment on the Cyrsti's Condo- Vicky York post:

Why is it always necessary to classify a person? 

She's presenting herself as a very attractive women. I'll respect her desire to be herself in that light. And if I ever had the chance, and she were in her male guise, if she still does that, I'll understand that she probably has many responsibilities in her life. She will still be a person to me, and not a classification or label. 

In my 50 or so years being cross gender expressive. (Wanting to express a gender not socially common to my birth sex) I've seen a leaderboard of labels appear and each one of them does little to define an individual and strongly places them in some factious pecking order. That fact that a person expresses a gender to a degree. Should not need a label and only does so because society expects some normality in gender expression constructs. These constructs are unfair to an individuals self awareness and self expression.

Holly, I find it extremely difficult to be politically correct as I write this blog and maybe I shouldn't worry at all.  For the record, I find your "cross gender expressive" to be a wonderful term which I relate to a lot but I have always suspected others can't.

How ironic is it I would have to use three to five words to identify who I am-or how I describe everyone else to try to not get hammered.  Heck, I have even been trashed for calling us a transgender "culture".

The nice part is it all comes from those who are content to hide behind their computers and fire away. Face to face, peeps are way too timid to discuss me with me, even though I wish more would.

Finally Holly, I think to a large degree the younger generation is erasing the need for gender labels.

Loved your comment!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Think about this quote...we transgender women and men have a tendency to put all of this on the so called straight society and ignore the overwhelming bigotry which lies within our own.


 

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

Now what? How long before the wife get's home?  Damn heels!!!  Should have been wearing Le Dame Footwear!
Better shoes = less embarrassing falls!

The Best Feminist?

I positively loved this post.  For one it hits home because of my relationship and two, because of how it's written (cynical-satirical style)  It's called "I Am the Best Feminist, for I am Dating a Trans Woman.- In Which I Act Like One of Those Obnoxious People Who Act Like They Deserve a Prize." by Ash Stewart. 

I am going to pass along only the first paragraph or so and leave you the link to read more if you care to:

Being a feminist is a struggle. It is a Sisyphean push to gain new, cutting-edge knowledge about oppressed groups that is never completed, all toward the noble goal of shoving your liberal cred in the face of other feminists to assert your superior unoppressiveness. But have no fear, my fellow feminists, for I have claimed the title of best feminist ever once and for all. You, my new subjects, can stop clawing at each other for meager ally points, since my total score is so ridiculous that no other shall come close for millennia and beyond.

But what, you must be wondering with bated breath, is this daring activism I have accomplished to earn such a glorious title? What have I done to become Super Mega Awesome Leader of Feminism for Life?

I am in love with a trans woman. 

Go here for more!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"With regard to other T people,  most women can handle and accept interactions as long as they are dealing with someone who is not their significant other. I think I have seen it referred to as NMH syndrome (NMH= Not my husband)."

 Pat.

Trans Politico's?

As we know, the quickest way to true change is to not run and hide as a portion of transgender or transsexual women and men do.

Around the country, more and more political candidates are doing just that.

In Oklahoma City, A transgender candidate who is a former Oklahoma City police officer has advanced to a runoff for a state House seat.

Democrat Paula Sophia will face businessman and former pastor Jason Dunnington in the Aug. 26 runoff. The winner will take a seat at the Legislature as there is no Republican in the race.

House District 88 includes trendy neighborhoods such as Heritage Hills and the Midtown, Plaza and Paseo districts.

Sophia used to patrol the district she seeks to represent and retired this year to run for the Legislature. She was engaged in a brief legal battle with the city after becoming a woman in 2001, but ultimately returned to the force.

She is also a transgender vet who fought in Dessert Storm.

Also, in Montgomery County Maryland, a historic battle of a gay politician running against a transgender woman is taking place. (or has) as openly gay state Sen. Richard Madaleno is trying to fend off a challenge by openly transgender woman Dana Beyer.

I guess it's tough to tell me times aren't "a changin'!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Or...how we think we ought to fit.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

I really don't know how to "classify" Vicky York,  cross dresser, transgender woman or what.  I do know I have seen her pictures around for quite some time and have always marveled at her look and how "female" ready her body seemed to be..

Look for yourself:




                                 

The Discussion Continues

As I had hoped Elizabeth responded back to my answer yesterday and took it another different direction or two: First of all I liked it because she didn't start it off by saying "Cyrsti-you ignorant-f--k." Plus you all know how I so love a good discussin! (as they say in my neck of the woods)

Cyrsti

Becoming a woman is a learned process that woman earn over time and "earn" is the correct term. Womanhood is not conferred on you based on how you dress or how you define yourself. Sandeen is not a woman because Sandeen has not one clue about what it means to be a woman. You claim you have observed woman for 50 years and somehow this lets you "see" all their mistakes which is a crock of shit.

SO you are claiming you have been an undercover woman for 50 years observing and learning how a female becomes a woman. You have spent less than two years defining yourself as transgender yet you suddenly seem to know everything about what it means to be a female and a woman. The truth is you are clueless because you never experienced life as a woman and that is the key.

Learning to be a woman involves experiencing daily life as a woman which you neglected to do for the first 60+ years of your life. You were a man and worked as a man and lived as a man so get off your high horse milady because you know not what you speak of.

I raised my first husbands daughter and about two years into that mind blowing experience I was talking with my mom and she simply said "congrats Elizabeth because now you are a woman: and I took that as a major compliment. My mom taught me about Vicks vapo rub under my nose to prevent gagging on the baby poop which was a godsend. I think I was 29 at the time but had existed as a girl basically from just short of my 14th birthday.

Those of us born transsexual have a sex identity issue because our sex characteristics do not match the gender we perceive ourselves as. My gender was actually never in question because I believed I was already a girl. Just how does not believe one is a woman? It is not given it is earned and quite frankly you have not earned anything close to it but then I am sure you know that.

If you want to call yourself a transgender or trans woman be my guest because that is a label you should live with. As for the younger generation I kind of doubt they will rewrite the definition for woman as easily as you seem to feel. A friend and I have worked with kids for years and we have two in Britain that are within a year of SRS and once they have SRS they just want to melt into society and be normal. I realize the word normal is weird to those of you that exist in the "activist" world but believe me once any kid has had SRS that is all they want unless of course they have ulterior motives like being famous but then that is kind of different.

I actually enjoy your blog but I also see you as a stereotypical transgender / crossdresser which does not make you a bad person just different. I do not wish you any harm nor would I be happy if harm came to you but that is just me.

Have a nice day.

Having not a clue of Elizabeth's background, I had no idea she was TS-by birth-her statement.  I don't want to put her in a corner by saying many TS's consider themselves to be the sole inhabitants of our culture who "were born into it."  My only response is, how does anyone know how anyone else was born and into what?

Here is more of my response:

Thanks for making my point Elizabeth. A woman is a "socialized" person- a female is a birthed person. So a TS is a socialized woman by your definition...not birth.

As far as how you want to attach any "life experiences" to the process is a personal journey of one's choices and the cards one was dealt....No matter how you cut it, one person is no better than another and I'm glad your Mom "anointed" you "woman" when mine was making an appointment for electro shock therapy.

Our whole discussion obviously is rooted too deeply in passion for objectivity and I suspect, a touch of good old male "one upmanship" which is so prevalent in our community has crept in...But you win with the baby poop (although, I did my fair share with my daughter-not knowing that made me a woman.)   At the least here, we are discussing semantics. Your perception of a term is obviously different than mine and that's cool. 

I was interested in your take on the two young trans kids who just want to disappear, unlike the ones I see here who want to make a difference in a new world they are carving out...especially the trans guys.  The black trans women are like that too..maybe it's just a part of being American. They won't take discrimination laying down anymore and just don't see stealth as a viable alternative.  I'm excited and proud of them as much of it is way too late for a person my age.

Yes, the word "normal" is weird to me because I was never able to access it during my life (and it had very little to do with gender) and no I am really disappointed because I can't consider myself an "activist"-AND I do feel a deep amount of guilt dealing with the fact most all of my generation went stealth and nothing was changed.  I just figure anything I can do or say may be helpful in the last one third of my life.

 All one can do is try and the last thing I want to do is to ever get into a ego battle with anyone for what they have or have not done.

I'm kind of selfish though.  It's interesting you brought up Autumn Sandeen of all people.  I would never even begin to speak for her but what I can tell you is she has brought some tremendous change with in the VA which I directly benefit from. I'm sure you agree it's tragic trans military members can't access the same rights they are fighting for.

  

No, none of us can turn back the clock and we did what we could to survive. I'm sure you lived with the depression, suicidal thoughts, substance abuse and the rest like most of us have-so you know.

Finally, this is going to sound a bit blunt Elizabeth.  I'm glad you enjoy the blog but I really don't care how you view me...I learned a long time ago how not to get my feelings hurt around here on line-especially in a certain very popular trans social site dominated by TS girls waiting to strike because they think having more surgery or drugs makes them better.

On the other hand, I've been fortunate to be surrounded by my friends, a partner and what's left of my family (still living) who accept who I am. I live in a relatively conservative part of America who needs to experience people like me- I am transgender and that is exactly what the word means- between both genders. My jewelry says I'm trans, my friends certainly know I am and you know it took me 60 + years to get here-so yes I do love it.  It's mine, I'm me and I embrace it.  If I am a unique one of a kind person-so be it.

Thanks for reading the blog and a wonderful discussion!

Cyrsti

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day."

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

"He's smiling now-but wait until he finds out exactly what I promised the big guy across the room!!!!

Females Versus Women

Just received a great comment from Elizabeth about today's blog post "A Female, a Jack and a Queen."

So females somehow cannot reach their womanhood but you as a man in a dress can? Can you actually see the silliness in that comment since you are not actually a female nor are you a woman?

Silly old me. It seems I missed the redefinition along the way. Want to enlighten me?

OK Elizabeth, most would argue Cyrsti and enlightenment are contradictions in terms but I will try. First of all every day I woke up wondering what gender I was (for 50 years +) was not silly and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy...but....

First of all, maybe we can agree all females are not women and all males are not men.  In the same sense some of us the male birth persuasion were raised to a higher standard of what being a man was all about, I assume most girls were in a similar situation.  I can only say, my daughter spends a lot of on hands time with my grand daughter teaching her what the possibilities of being a woman in today's and tomorrow's world can be.  You are right, I can never be a female but on the other hand I'm working hard to be a better woman because I had 50 years to see all the mistakes females make.  I'm sure it does get a little unnerving to some females when they consider my background.  It does take a woman to accept me. So finally, define a woman to me and tell me why I will never be one? And please don't be silly and say a vagina makes you a woman.

I'm the first to admit I will never be a female-way too late for that.

OK, I didn't mean women "somehow couldn't reach their womanhood" as a blanket statement.  More precisely what I did mean was  females just having children- doesn't make them women.  Does a boy as a sperm donor make him a man?

Elizabeth,  I am overjoyed you brought this up. It is always a bottom line discussion I wish there was more of. You said it best...redefinition and you, I and everyone better be catching up to the reality of gender and sexual identity the younger generation is rewriting. 

Finally, I'm fairly certain I didn't enlighten you but I hope you understand my side more and I appreciate you commenting!!!!

Cyrsti's Condo "Power Scope"

Let's take a moment out of our busy days to look at our stars!!! Otherwise known as the "Power Scope" here in the Condo:


Libra- (September 23-October 22): There are many ways to misinterpret another’s good deed now, but do believe offers can come without strings and with pure support. Avoid thinking with your ego and see opportunities with an open heart. The future has more options than you want to see, so stop making suspicion your excuse to not make a major leap forward.

Certainly for me, NOT thinking with my ego is going to be a struggle. It is one however I am working with. Replacing a male ego with a feminine one is not an easy process!!!

Don't forget.  You can go here to theFrisky for your own "scope"!

A Female-a Jack and a Queen?

Over the years here in Cyrsti's Condo, as I have jumped through the hoops of MtF transitioning from cross dresser to HRT and a transgender life- it's been interesting to me how my outlook has changed towards genetic women and females.

As you regulars know, I draw a line between females and women.  Females are born into their gender - women are socialized.  Not long ago, I wrote a post which was in response to a comment about women not taking care of themselves and becoming just females again.

Drag Queen "Ivy Winters" 

At this point in my transition, I can understand why - and why not.  As an example, I "tweaked" what I was wearing to my second mammogram to my day outfit at Pride, my night outfit and back again the next day. Sure it takes a little work and a little planning, but the more I do it, the easier it becomes and I consider it a necessary part  of who I am. Interestingly on occasion, my friends step their game up too to meet me and this weekend I was even asked by one of my more femme lesbian friends what I was going to wear.

Yet another interesting dynamic to all of this is- how genetic women and females react with drag queens at drag shows.  Some are amazed, probably some are jealous but most all appreciate the work which goes into the guy to girl transformations on stage.  "Back in the day" such a point in time was a wonderful time for me to point out the differences between me as a cross dresser and them as drag queens.  They for the most part were cis gay males who scoffed at the idea of ever being women.  The process was too much work and why would they anyhow? I in turn, was forever trying to figure out how I could live a feminine life-the good and the bad.

Queens also get along with the average genetic women too because they don't have the sexual tension between them which makes life easier..The drag queens fulfill a need to be the center of attention and the women- a sense of curiosity.

For some reason, the females who never make it to woman hood somehow are stunted in their growth and never have a chance to explore all the layers available to them.  The point alone, makes the subject tough to take for those of us who couldn't wait to do just that!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is the MtF transsexual beauty from Greece, Jenny Hiloudaki.

Generational Gender?

I wrote in my Cyrsti's Condo "Columbus Pride" recap post of how for the most part I was utterly invisible to the 20 and even 30 somethings in the crowd.  I said at the time I guessed the only peeps who paid any attention to me were 40 something women.

It's certainly no secret, the younger the generation is, the less they really care about gender unless their parents are making them haters.  Plus, I'm sure that bunch on Saturday had way more to worry about than staring me down-such as finding the right place to party!

After all the worry I put into being the social director for our little group, it was fun to just disappear into the crowd and not worry about educating any number of people about who I was.  Plus I was treated to even being "embraced" in a couple of the non gay places we went.  I rate my experiences as being tolerated, accepted and then embraced at the top of the list.

I can't say I'm jealous of the world our younger transgender women and men are operating in now but at the least I can say I wish it would have been around "back in the day".  Maybe then, I wouldn't have been so apt to be stoned and drunk out of my mind trying to lose myself to the music of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. 

Speaking of those days, this coming weekend, Columbus, Ohio is having a street fair called "Community Fest" which is "rumored" to be quite the collection of old hippies my age.  I don't think I can make it though due to several factors, but it sure would be fun to have a chance to go back to the hippie girl days I so missed.

It would be interesting to see if the women in my generation ever caught up to the fact of what a transgender person is and we are not to be stared or smirked at.  Maybe they can learn from their daughters.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is the striking MtF transgender woman Kayla Ward.  HRT and a little surgery here and there has been kind to Kayla!

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

I told you baby- Some of those mean old men may want you to do more than just clean the house!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!!! a rather late edition of our epic "Sunday Edition!"

Page 1.- Columbus Ohio Pride.  I'm thinking about now, I'm part of nearly a half million TGLBQ Pride celebrants in Columbus, Ohio- who are nursing hangovers-from yesterday.  Yes, the attendance was estimated at a cool half a mill. (Who does that?)

From my personal viewpoint, a good time was had by my intrepid group of four and I have only one crummy picture to show for it, but I'm passing it along anyhow. The guy who took the picture was just as messed up as the picture looks and is actually the best he could do before I took my phone back.

The weather actually wasn't hateful for this time of year and stayed in the low to mid 80's for the hottest part of the day.

The parade itself, started late and was very long, so I think we watched maybe a third of it before we headed back to the outside patio venue you almost see above.  I'm not a huge parade fan and got to see George Takei  actor from the original Star Trek and who has probably been "beamed up" from more gay pride parades than anyone in history!

Page 2.- Transgender Vets.  I was really surprised to see a Pride Color Guard actually kicking off the parade. I was so surprised I didn't get a picture of the one cop of three Columbus policemen saluting the flag and the group.

As promised, I wore my T-shirt my partner Liz designed for me which said "I'm proud to have fought for your rights which were denied to me."  I really didn't get much response except for one really drunk guy who never understood anyway.  No one even came close to labeling me with the Tra--y gender slur so the closest I came to problems was when I bitched out a couple for cutting the line at the "Porta Potties".



Page 3.- Who were those People?  At my age, it seems like everyone at an event like this weekend are young enough to be my kids - or worse yet my grand kids.  There were however a significant group of peeps outside of the TGLBQ community who came to support, party or just watch the show.  Ironically, my friends and I were surprised how much of a show there wasn't.

I went expecting groups of garish drag queens sweating off their makeup in the heat and half naked buffed gay guys milling around in the crowd.  Perhaps since we are in the relative conservative "Heartland" U.S.A., the only drag queens we even saw were on parade floats.  I did see one other transgender woman during the day, one cross dresser at night with another trans girl.  Needless to say, I certainly didn't check out 500,000 people, but I was looking. Per norm, I did get my share of looks and mostly from the middle aged women who were there and very little from the younger crowd.

Page 4.- The Back Page.-  I had a great time attending a very serious TGLBQ Pride event and the Goddess willing I can do it again next year.  As I have mentioned, Columbus is very diverse, and the community there has built itself into a commercial force.  It is simply financially advantageous for a business to be pro Pride and it showed!

"Mud Roller"

Ever heard of the term "mud roller" applied to a woman?

Back in the day in my high school (before electric lights) "Mud Roller" was a term applied to a girl in school most likely to get "down and dirty" with a guy.

The name wasn't particularly a bad one, except normally the girl in question probably wasn't going to be the one you brought home to meet Mom-unless you were me.  I don't think I was ever popular enough to bring home a "roller" but I did bring home a real live witch with curly red hair (to her waist) to say Hi to Mom.  Mom got the whole wrong impression-all I wanted was to have hair like hers!

In one of my searches , I just found a picture of a "roller" on one of the transgender / cross dresser sites, I just had to pass along!

I don't know how this person identifies but for now we will say he nailed the description perfectly...I could go farther but this a PG rated post!

Females-or Women-Part Two

I received a comment from Sandra on one of the older posts here in Cyrsti's Condo which bears revisiting!

Here is how the post started:

REALLY?

"Ever since I can remember, I have been fascinated with the feminine gender.  As with many of you, it's difficult to explain the deep, deep yearning I had to be a woman.  Of course any success I have experienced in the transition process has been self taught and I wonder when I see genetic females who aren't women, I wonder why.

On the other hand, I just don't grasp how so many females have no idea or will power to be women.  Then again, a dear friend who passed away some time ago told me it seemed to her so many women weren't teaching their daughters to be...women. 

So maybe that's it. Where I live, we have an extremely high teen maternity rate. I know the stats reflect more than kids having kids and young females just being "baby makers". Self esteem and family conditions play into their lives too.

None of that takes away from the fact I don't understand why these females so easily toss chances to be women away.  Especially when I know so many transgender women who can't wait to get out of the closet and have their day in the sun."

Thanks Sandra! I can only add the urgency females all of the sudden show (to get back in the game) when all of the sudden they are competing in the world for a mate again.
Sandra wrote:


I also think it's a pity that so many women simply lost the joy of being women. In some cases I understand them: for some reason — genetics, hormones, work routine, impossible schedules, lack of time, too much to do — they cannot prevent their bodies to become so much unaligned with what they have in mind that they simply start neglecting their own selves. Ugly males can dress whatever they wish, so long as it's male clothes; ugly women believe they have the same right to do so.

My own wife is a typical example. When she gains weight, loses her job, and basically is stuck playing games on the computer at home, she neglects herself completely. But then she gets a job, or goes back to university, and suddenly her self-esteem gains a boost! She throws her old clothes away, starts eating regularly, sheds her excess weight, goes to the hairdresser, even shaves her legs, and starts a new wardrobe. Suddenly she glorifies in being a woman again! The last time this happened, she even let me paint her nails for her — the first time I saw her with painted nails since we met at a Halloween dinner, 17 years ago!

So I think it really has a lot to do about self-esteem. Confident women will take care of their image, because they enjoy it. Depression and low self-esteem will make them lose all interest in the way they look.

Finally, I'm guessing, being a woman at the least is probably a "nurtured" response, brought on by peer pressure etc. Not unlike we trans women-who are "stuck" with how we were born and nurtured into a society we didn't fit in to.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our cover feature today is the gorgeous transsexual Mtf woman Susany Biancco. 

Pre Pride Post Two

Well, today marks the end of a crazy thirty days or so in my life. During the time, I managed to finally publish "Stiletto's on Thin Ice", attend the Trans Ohio Symposium (and present a work shop) jump genders for my family once and let's not forget- a couple of mammograms tossed in.

TGLBQ Pride day today marks the end of my current attempt to catch my tail here in Columbus, Ohio. Pat sent in a comment which rang true to me, for probably the wrong reasons. The comment was another which went into "never-never" land the other day, but paraphrased she (Pat) said something to the effect of me being the "lone transgender woman" in the crowd.  My first reaction was "Wow! I hope not."  Then, as I started to think about it, Pat was right to speculate I may be the only "out and visible" trans woman. Realistically, I'm sure everyone I run into is not going to think I was born genetic.  Just as realistically, do I expect a stealth attractive transgender woman coming up to me to chat?  No.  Would I venture a guess and start a conversation with a person I thought was a transgender woman? Probably not.

Plus, as I have said a number of times, after the parade is over today, my friends and I will be headed to lesbian venues- which brings up a whole different dynamic.  As you know, I do have some experience partying with lesbians and in my view, pretty much go out of their way to steer clear of another woman they perceive to be in a partnership.  On the other hand, since I have been forced into action as one of my friend's wing girl I'm beginning to understand the basics of the hunt.  On a very few occasions, when I was left unattended I became the hunt-only I think because I bring more than a little spice to the adventure. (It's also rumored I am a HUGE flirt.)

So Pat, I'm afraid you could be right. I will say the Trans Ohio group (who will have a presence in the parade) is becoming stronger and more organized all the time but so far they still are dominated by trans men-which is good by me.  Many of who I perceive to be trans women in the organization still don't make eye contact with me.  But, if I go back not so long ago, I wouldn't make eye contact with me either.

Plus, there is the age card.  However you want to cut it, the age difference in those young trans women I may meet is a major problem.  Outside of gender preference, we just don't share much.

As far as those entitled cis gay males and drag queens go - no harm no foul-unless someone calls me the Tr---gender slur!

The way it's looking, I am writing this Friday, posting it Saturday and will get back with all of you hopefully Sunday!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our cover feature today is Brazilian transgender beauty Isabelle Coimbra!

Mo Hooters?

I did search all over the place for extra cross dresser "Hooter" girls the other day and of course I'm finding them now when I'm not looking.

If you don't know, the "Hooter's" chain is renown for it's server "uniform's" and even over the years have been challenged by men to work there- I think as guys. You can bet though, as in any occupation which demands attractive women for it's work force, there have to be more than a few embedded stealth transgender women. For years, the most beautiful blond stripper in Dayton, Ohio was heavily rumored to have been trans.  By those who would know.

Going to a Halloween party as a "Hooter Girl" would be as similar to going as a cheerleader as you can get...only more fun. You don't have to worry about heels wrecking your feet all night long and shake your booty in your tennis shoes!  (No I haven't done it, all though years ago I did quickly shop for a top in one of their units and couldn't find a size.)

I haven't been to one of their "testosterone" injected environments for years but "back in the day" you could buy much of their uniform sets in the stores...or on line.

Don't know if you still can...but "Stephanie" (above) probably does!

It's Never Easy

My friends just love to call me cheap and easy but I know most of the time one doesn't apply-I think?

By the time I finished my second mammogram today, I ruled both of them out.

First of all, the good news.  After getting told my breasts were dense (like my noggin), I was told this time the procedure was going to be a "bit" more painful.  The nurse put the pressure on - and yes, I got crushed. But it was worth it because I was given a clean bill of health and sent on my way. With no ultra sound!

Those of you who haven't been through any HRT (like I used to be) believe me, any extra pressure to your breasts can be painful.

Today was my second time around with the same nurse and she was very cool about the whole procedure. On the first go around of course I was very sensitive about the size of my breasts to start with-not to mention having to "bare it all" to her.  She put me at ease by saying I would be surprised by the women she see's who have "less than me."

When I went today, she said "take your top and bra off."  I said "what if I wasn't wearing one?  She said no problem, a lot of women don't.  Quite frankly, in this hot humid weather, having enough breast development to show but not enough to wear a bra isn't such a bad deal.

So, that is pretty much how this episode of doing this gender transition thing went down.

Like the great philosopher "Randy Macho-man Savage" said, "If it ain't tough, it ain't worth it."-or did he?

Having Your Cake and Not Eating It Too?

Yesterday here in Cyrsti's Condo, we featured a sissy boy being "forced" to look for a job at the famous "Hooter's" chain of wing and beer places.

Today it's time for a dessert as only drag queen Manila Luzon could serve it up!

Pride?

This weekend, three of my friends and I are attending the TGLBQ Pride march and party in Columbus, Ohio.

As I continue to mention, Columbus is a very diverse city and the event promises to be well attended.  True to form, for the past month or more I have spent a considerable amount of "noggin" time, trying to come up with where I wanted to fit it.

It's not easy.

The gay and lesbian communities have much to be proud of.  Both were instrumental in breaking down discrimination barriers  and more they faced.  Plus the drag queens can look back with pride at their huge role in the Stonewall riots in 1969. All of the history is great but the fact remains- we transgender woman and men are not understood and left out.

Are the "Bi's" left out too? Then again, who exactly are the "Bi's"? The only potential peeps in this category I have ever met are the fetish cross dressers who will only have sex with another man if he is dressed as a she? And, if I still considered myself a cross dresser-fetish or not, would I feel any sort of pride if I went to Pride?  I'm pretty sure I would from the simple fact for a whole day I could express my gender as I saw fit. Plus, as a matter of fact, Pride events are much more cost effective for those who can not afford an event such as "Provincetown".(Fantasia Fair-below)


And, how about those lesbians?  The three friends I'm going with are all lesbians and two are pretty much clueless when I complain of transgender discrimination.  I just know I feel comfortable with them and the lesbian venues we will be going too.  I have always found their company to be the most natural for me to fit into to.  If I had to guess though, I'm thinking the three are going to party first and then be proud!

Where does all of that leave me as a transgender woman in the crowd?  I feel guilty.  I want the world to know I am trans and proud-as I am but, if I can blend in with the lesbians and party-I want to be there too. The fun part about the day is I will be able to dress down appropriately for a hot, humid Ohio summer day and enjoy being transgender.

For one of the first times in my life, I don't have to fit into yet another set of molds...this time from the gay/lesbian community.

We Almost Had Mail!

I don't know what "glitch" I had here in the Crysti's Condo this afternoon, but it managed to chew up and completely destroy a couple of your comments.

As you all know how much I value your ideas and in fact I did reply to a couple and poof! they were gone!

Two came from Pat and were rather interesting in how totally I disagreed with her. On the one about the Wow! post - I was able to go back in and delete my comment since Pat's didn't post at all. It's only fair to not paraphrase her comments if I don't have them.



The others were comments about the DMV folks who wouldn't let Chase Culpepper present his external gender anyway he wanted. One wanted to throw the kid under the bus because the DMV folks were nasty anyway-anywhere, but another was an extremely insightful one.  She said, isn't the whole episode similar to the age old double standard of girls allowing to be "tom boys" and boys not being allowed to be "tom-girls." Can you imagine one of the "jolly" DMV clerks telling a grumpy woman she looked like hell and better go put on makeup for her picture?

It's a different story here in Ohio where the DMV's were "privatized" years ago.  When I went into renew my license the last time years ago, it was the day after my first visit to the hair salon.  The woman paused for a second and then shrugged and took a very androgynous picture of me for my license since I wasn't seeking a name or gender marker change anyway-the same as Chase.  The DMV simply gets a share of every license plate or ID they process.  So it's "show me the money!"

Finally, Mandy sent in a couple comments that did make it about my second mammogram and ultra sound tomorrow. She was kind enough to fill me in on the actual procedure.

Deep down I believe from the time we are born until the time we die, our lives are built on different new experiences.  My latest new experience will hopefully mean nothing more than a clean bill of health.

One way or another though, the total and complete irony of it will not be lost on me.

Cyrsti's Condo "What If"

I know "back in the day" I used to see quite a few transvestites all dolled up in their "Hooter's" gear and ready to serve.  I have to say, more than a few did a respectable job with their "uniform's".  These days I don't see as many and that could be I'm not looking as hard-don't know.  But I did find one-sort of:

Allow me to preface this "what if" by saying none of these comments on the picture are from me and as always - I don't know if the person in the picture is a cross dresser, or a genetic girl.

I would add these comments though:  "Honey if I did get the job, what if I had to wait on my old drinking buddies?"
And the best one of all:  "If I do this honey, you know I get to keep all my tips!" Then, I can save for a boob job and call them "Tips for Tits!" (Sorry, couldn't resist!)