Going Commando?

Interesting title right? In many circles the phrase defines a person who is wearing no underwear. Sort of like more than a few of the generics you see in the summer and wonder exactly what are they wearing under that sun dress?  Now that I got your attention, this post has nothing to do with any of that.

Instead, after my Google+ friend Alana sent me this picture, I thought it was an incredible time to connect a couple Mtf gender transition thoughts. First of all, I commented to Alana how much I liked her pictures and how natural she looks!  From her own comments (and I paraphrase) the right hair style can do a lot to replace "FFS" (facial feminization surgery.) Yes! The more one does this transition thing, the more you do begin to get certain ideas through your thick skull. I am writing about me of course. I am around or live with three very out spoken generic critics, and for whatever reason, no one bothered to tell me "soft bangs" on my face might be the way to go. "Maybe" I would have asked them what they knew anyhow. Surely that can't be a reason for ideas? Nah!!!

Plus, about a month ago, when I needed a new foundation, I brought my partner Liz for guidance. I was looking for my shade as much as an actual brand (I do the best I can afford.) I knew you should try to match the foundation shade to the skin on the back of your wrist-but-I was literally geeking when Liz pulled out this small piece of clear heavy plastic which actually had all the shades on it. All I had to do was pull it out and matched shades until one literally disappeared. Really? It was that easy? And, guess what, I use less foundation and look better.

Alana is proof you don't have to go overboard (or commando) to be a feminine success. Another example is Mandy Sherman. Go to her blog  and check out the "Miss-Identified Again" post!

But....if you want to go commando under your sun dress this summer-think of it this way-make sure the wind is not blowing hard, forget what your Mom would say and you only live once!

Cyrsti's Condo "House Keeping!"

As I wrote in my last post, there are tons of items to get caught up with here in the "Condo"-

First, let's not forget THE Ohio State Buckeyes won the first NCAA National College Football Championship!  Go BUX!!!!

Secondly, I don't know if all you regulars around here know that when she gets out of the rubber room she is confined to, The Fabulous Connie Dee's sarcastic sense of humor is far and beyond the best I have encountered.  A classic feminine- stick the stiletto heel in your back-while she runs as you are laughing. 

This comment was a reference to my radio interview with a teen therapist (who happened to be a Christian) who attends the same church with the Leelah Alcorn family:

FABULOUSCONNIEDEE

Is a trans fly one that dresses up like a butterfly? You could light on the cross in the church, which would make you cross dressing. You'd be all the buzz. No swats, but there could be moth balls involved. Tom (therapist) would surely break out with a "Him"......LOVE IT! I remember looking for cartoons like this in playboy's and trans magazines (all bought by me..lol) when i was younger. or maybe a "refrain", anyway. My mother always told me to be pun-ctual for church - Sorry!

 

Interestingly, Liz and I met another transgender entertainer from the Cincinnati area Saturday night by the name of Debi.

 

When the institution let Connie out again, she came up with this: " I have always thought that it would be fun to have a silk purse in the shape of a sow's ear. That, at least, goes toward attitude and confidence; maybe even friendliness as a conversation piece. Some rely on FFS to overcome physical detriments, but my FFS is a bit different in that it stands for "Fast and Friendly Smile". :-)"

 

I second the emotion about FFS- my greatest transgender "passing priviledge" comes from my smile.

 

And, as Pat added:  An old mentor told me that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. That does not mean all is lost.
Attitude, confidence, friendliness and acceptance of others will overcome physical detriments.

 

Finally, Alicia responded to the classic "cartoon" we posted:  LOVE IT! I remember looking for cartoons like this in playboy's and trans magazines (all bought by me..lol) when I was younger.

 

As always, thanks so much!!!

 

 

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Trans "Girl Chat"

I have made mention here in Cyrsti's Condo of my two dear transgender friends, one a trans man and the other a trans woman.

The other night, I also made mention of the Equality Ohio meeting my trans girl friend invited me to attend. Afterwards, we were able to sit down and engage in some very rare T-girl chat.

No matter how you cut it, our experiences are so unique, it's difficult to even find another transgender person geographically close to you-let alone be able to sit down and talk face to face.

Even though my friend is much younger than me, in many ways we are at the same cross roads in our transition.  An example is how we both agonize over actually pushing ahead with our gender marker changes.  My problem is a combination of pure laziness and procrastination more than anything else. I'm notoriously bad about not living in the present, so if something isn't particularly bothering me (gender markers) then I can easily put them off in my mind.  As we discussed (and I have written in the past)  changing your gender marker with the DMV here in Ohio is not particularly tough and (as I understand it) neither is the social security set up.

On the other hand here,  birth certificates are impossible.  Plus, my trans guy friend has done all he could including a legal name change, so he knows the process and I can ask him for specifics.  I do know I have to go back to my therapist at the VA to get some sort of a letter too, so that is not much of a problem.  Other than that, I don't want to even get into how the VA works, except to thank trans vet Autumn Sandeen (shown above) for opening many doors I will need to go through to change my markers in the VA system which is a huge step towards NOT being called by your male name when you go in for an appointment.


Other than the marker chat, we talked about her work and how she planned to handle any transition on the job.  All three of us have gone different routes with jobs.  I of course am retired but I could tell you without a shadow of a doubt my last employer would have made any transition on the job hell on me.  My trans man has transitioned on the job already (with - as I understand it various stages of acceptance.) Finally, my trans woman friend has not transitioned past the point of being viewed (I imagine) as a very effeminate man.  One of them works for a perceived diverse company and the other company-not so much.  Bottom line is, she has a lot to consider with transitioning on the job including no real legal protection.

By now you are probably thinking, did you two have any sort of girly girl chat?  Yes we did.  She asked me why I rarely wear skirts and what was I doing about facial hair. Truthfully, I am very much a contradiction in terms (again) in that I'm sort of a "Tom-Boy" trans woman and that's the way it is. (It sends the trans purists over the edge. Like I'm supposed to conform to their ideas?)  As far as electrolysis goes, I have a couple problems called finances and aversion to pain. On the other hand, my friend is already baby smooth but seems to always be heading back for more treatments.

Finally, before we parted ways-we did talk about the future on a bigger "what if" scale, as far as possible surgical procedures.  My trans man is actually close to his "top surgery" and I wish him the best and all of a sudden, there is a glimmer of hope (with recent developments) I may be able to at least look into the two procedures I would really like to have-breast augmentation and FFS, facial feminization surgery.  I will have to get back with you on what my trans friend thought about herself except she "really" wanted something done about her nose.

So, all in all, it was a fun couple of hours with another person who has walked a mile in my shoes and vice versa. They are so difficult to find!!!

What Came First?

Or maybe I should say, what should come first, FFS or SRS assuming you are like many and can't afford to drain your 401K and savings and head to Thailand?

In a couple of many chance encounters I have had recently on this enormous thing called the internet,  peeps have bemoaned the fact they went through SRS but then in the next sentence said they were booking FFS as soon as they could.

I guess it's just me, but I think I would reverse the process and do he FFS first and do a bit of living as a woman and then consider gender reassignment surgery.  Then again I think too many transgender women consider SRS the end of the gender journey when indeed it's just the beginning.

I have no idea if the transgender woman featured on this Cyrsti's Condo big screen video has gone through the change but she definitely did go through the facial surgery.  One way or another, she does have the benefit of a body which lends itself to the gender change.

A Natural Comes Home

Many are born in the wrong body...very few have an easy time changing the problem.  On the Cyrsti's Condo big screen here is one who didn't:

Part of the impossible dream for me is Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS). I just can't ever seem being able to afford it or on some days even wanting it. One who did is featured on the Cyrsti's Condo big screen,  from YouTube: