The Levels of Transition

Over the years I have experienced several levels of gender transgender transition. The first of which I remember was very early in my life when I experienced moving on from the buzz I received from wearing girls clothes. The thrill quickly faded but the desire to be a girl remained. I didn't realize it for years. It was a significant piece of the gender puzzle of who I was. If I had stayed with clothes being my main goal, I felt I would have stayed more on the cross dressing side of priorities.   

As my life went by, my cross dressing versus transgender existence caused me extreme gender dysphoria. Looking like a woman just wasn't enough and I moved ahead to see if I could live and exist full time successfully as a transgender woman. Much of my process centered around how natural I felt. Of course the answer was I felt very at home in a feminine world. I just had to learn more about it before I could complete my next transition. 

The next transition involved much interaction from other cis women friends who thankfully "adopted" me. I always have told them they showed me more than I could ever say. They pushed me out of my shell further and further as we went everywhere from lesbian mixers to pro football games to women's roller ball derby's. Finally I began to relax and have fun. Still my Mtf gender transition wasn't complete. Then I jumped off the cliff and threw out all my male clothes or sent them to the thrift store.

With my partner Liz's help and with the benefit of HRT on my body, in my own mind I became more of a trans woman than I would have ever thought was possible. In addition to softer skin, longer hair, breasts and now the development of hips, I wonder where I would be without my meds and I am thankful for the health opportunity to accomplish the changes. 

So, even though I have a tendency to think I have reached a transgender plateau as far as my transition goes, I never know what the future may hold as I look ahead to how the remainder of my life may work out. 

  

I "Doesn't Know It"

As you have probably noticed, things have changed around here in Cyrsti's Condo. The majority is because Google changed it's basic blog platform which on my end of things caused my blog to be extremely slow loading. To hopefully help all of that I switched to a much simpler blog format. Along the way, you may notice other changes too. Hopefully they will be positive. In the meantime, lets get back to the subject of the day. The possibility and or terror of doing standup transgender comedy was the subject here of a recent post. Connie had this comment:

 "OK, I can get used to your new design, but how come your blog didn't show on T Central today?" (I don't know)

"In my early days of coming out - first to a trans group, and then to my wife - I began writing and performing trans-themed song parodies at trans events. The trans crowd seemed to be receptive to my poking fun at the foibles of having a feminine identity, and what we go through in order to express ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally. I expanded my audience by appearing at gay bars, and my act worked well there, too. I was surprised to learn that even a general audience liked what I was doing, although I had to set things up before each song by talking as much as I ended up singing.

When I came out (came to terms?) with my wife, I told her what I had been doing. She came to one of my trans-group shows a couple of weeks later, but she wasn't impressed. She wanted to know how I could make jokes about something as serious as what the two of us had been dealing with over the prior few weeks. I explained that my gender dysphoria was serious, but all of the things I have to do to live with it can be ridiculous. That's the message I had to convey to a cis audience, but the LGBT crowd understood it without explanation. My wife accepted it, although she's still upset that I ruined "Danny Boy" for her by making him a cross dresser.

I don't think I could ever do straight-up stand up comedy. I'm too comfortable in my own genre, I guess. The important thing, though, is that I only make fun of some of the behaviors that we may exhibit, and not about the human beings we are."

Thanks for the comment, I will have to try to look into T Central.

Some Like it Hot

For those of you who may not know, "Some Like it Hot" is a 1959 classic film directed by Billy Wilder. The plot revolves two band members from gangster era Chicago who inadvertently witnessed a mob killing. The plot thickens when they had to flee Chicago for Florida as members of an all girl band. 

The movie stars Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon in drag along side a very sexy and glamorous Marilyn Monroe as the band's singer. The movie moves quickly with many of the usual problematic happenings you would expect from two guys thrust into playing women to save their lives. Of course along the way, you are left to your own imagination on how the two obtained their feminine attire as well as other key activities. 

I clearly remember I was ten when this movie finally made it's way to television. As the family watched it, I had to act like I was disinterested when exactly the opposite was true. 

Over the years, "Some Like it Hot" has obtained "classic" movie status and is definitively worth a view if you haven't seen it. Especially the last scene which I won't disclose. The Turner Classic Movie channel shows it every now and then, or maybe you can order it on demand someplace. But one way or another, it is wonderful fast moving comedy! 

Marilyn is fabulous, seen below with Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon.

 

Transgender Stand Up Comedic Therapy

 Way "back in the day' when I was doing personal appearances for the radio stations I worked for. (As a guy) I inadvertently stumbled into comedic situations. Normally it was a situation I didn't want to find myself in.

However, there are more than a few transgender comics these days doing their best to entertain the public. One of which is "Alice Rose". (below)

Here is a portion of her story:

" I  fell into standup comedy quite by accident in the summer of 2017, when the cafe I worked at began hosting a monthly comedy show. Inspired by this, I decided to write some material of my own for an upcoming open mic. Having only recently transitioned, I was still insecure about my appearance, and particularly my voice, so you can imagine how vulnerable I felt standing in front of strangers and speaking into a microphone for the first time. My insecurities came out in my material as well — nearly all of my jokes were self-deprecating, transphobic attacks on myself.

Imagine walking into a crowded sports bar, turning off the hockey game, and yelling, "I'm a woman with a penis. Does anyone have a problem with that?" Trust me, that is not a social experiment you want to conduct unless you're dressed like a goalie. However, that was essentially what I was doing, sometimes three or four nights a week. And I was getting away with it because I had a secret weapon. I had the power to make people laugh, and while their guard was down I could tell them anything I wanted.

There is much more to her story and you can read it here.

Cyrsti's Condo Quote of the Day

 

Thanks to the "Tony Burgess" Blog

Tipping the Gender Scale

Yesterday I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo about my partner Liz and what she means to me. During the post, I wrote on how she kicked me out of what was left of my cross dressing closet and into a very scary transgender world. It happened during a time of my life when my gender dysphoria was at a peak. I was desperately searching for the answer if I should live my life as a man, or a woman because it was becoming increasingly obvious I couldn't try to do both. 

I was fortunate in that I was able to take the early Social Security retirement and not have to worry about coming out in what would have been a very hostile work situation. So that became a non problem. Another obstacle was removed from my desire to possibly Mtf gender transition. At the time, I viewed the whole debacle as a very slick slope I was sliding down, heading towards a steep cliff. How was the landing going to be was the question. 

The straw which broke the camel's back, was Liz. Even though, she knew me both gender ways but always only accepted me as a woman. She gave me the wings I needed to jump off that transgender cliff and live as my true self. 

Ironically, about that time too, my body was adjusting to the new me by shedding fifty pounds. Allowing me to present more authentically in a feminine world. And finally, there were the new hormones from HRT starting their changes to my body. 

As you all have probably figured out, I certainly made the right decision and would be enjoying my life more completely if it wasn't for the damn virus. I just wish I hadn't been so stubborn and attempted to transition earlier in life. Although along the way I made more than a few memories as a guy which I still cherish.

Liz

 This post is specifically for the person who substantially contributed to helping me to become the transgender woman I am today. 

For you regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo, you probably already know I am writing about my partner of nine years, Liz. Here is a picture of her from our anniversary dinner Saturday night.

She is the one person who convinced me to come out of my cross dressing closet and become my true self. And better yet, I didn't have to find her, she found me. I never thought as I entered my senior years, I would find someone to love me as much as she does. 

I don't believe in luck but I do believe in destiny and I guess all the time I spent alone following my wife's death in 2007 , proved to be a test. If I held on long enough, a person such as Liz would come my way. 

She took me in, nourished me and made me whole. I love her more than I can say.