Monday, August 31, 2020

The Levels of Transition

Over the years I have experienced several levels of gender transgender transition. The first of which I remember was very early in my life when I experienced moving on from the buzz I received from wearing girls clothes. The thrill quickly faded but the desire to be a girl remained. I didn't realize it for years. It was a significant piece of the gender puzzle of who I was. If I had stayed with clothes being my main goal, I felt I would have stayed more on the cross dressing side of priorities.   

As my life went by, my cross dressing versus transgender existence caused me extreme gender dysphoria. Looking like a woman just wasn't enough and I moved ahead to see if I could live and exist full time successfully as a transgender woman. Much of my process centered around how natural I felt. Of course the answer was I felt very at home in a feminine world. I just had to learn more about it before I could complete my next transition. 

The next transition involved much interaction from other cis women friends who thankfully "adopted" me. I always have told them they showed me more than I could ever say. They pushed me out of my shell further and further as we went everywhere from lesbian mixers to pro football games to women's roller ball derby's. Finally I began to relax and have fun. Still my Mtf gender transition wasn't complete. Then I jumped off the cliff and threw out all my male clothes or sent them to the thrift store.

With my partner Liz's help and with the benefit of HRT on my body, in my own mind I became more of a trans woman than I would have ever thought was possible. In addition to softer skin, longer hair, breasts and now the development of hips, I wonder where I would be without my meds and I am thankful for the health opportunity to accomplish the changes. 

So, even though I have a tendency to think I have reached a transgender plateau as far as my transition goes, I never know what the future may hold as I look ahead to how the remainder of my life may work out. 

  

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