Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Tipping the Gender Scale

Yesterday I wrote here in Cyrsti's Condo about my partner Liz and what she means to me. During the post, I wrote on how she kicked me out of what was left of my cross dressing closet and into a very scary transgender world. It happened during a time of my life when my gender dysphoria was at a peak. I was desperately searching for the answer if I should live my life as a man, or a woman because it was becoming increasingly obvious I couldn't try to do both. 

I was fortunate in that I was able to take the early Social Security retirement and not have to worry about coming out in what would have been a very hostile work situation. So that became a non problem. Another obstacle was removed from my desire to possibly Mtf gender transition. At the time, I viewed the whole debacle as a very slick slope I was sliding down, heading towards a steep cliff. How was the landing going to be was the question. 

The straw which broke the camel's back, was Liz. Even though, she knew me both gender ways but always only accepted me as a woman. She gave me the wings I needed to jump off that transgender cliff and live as my true self. 

Ironically, about that time too, my body was adjusting to the new me by shedding fifty pounds. Allowing me to present more authentically in a feminine world. And finally, there were the new hormones from HRT starting their changes to my body. 

As you all have probably figured out, I certainly made the right decision and would be enjoying my life more completely if it wasn't for the damn virus. I just wish I hadn't been so stubborn and attempted to transition earlier in life. Although along the way I made more than a few memories as a guy which I still cherish.

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