Headed for A Nursing Home Closet?

It is a very real fear to many transgender seniors: what will/could/maybe happen to us if we get in the wrong place at the wrong time in the wrong nursing home-and have nothing we can do about it. Not surprisingly, not much is written on the subject which I can pass along here in Cyrsti's Condo. It's from The Atlantic and is called "The Challenge of being Transgender in a Nursing Home." It goes on to say: Many elder-care facilities are ill-equipped to deal with the needs of transgender seniors, who fear that a move to assisted living may leave them vulnerable to discrimination and harassment.

 Plus (of course) it gets better: " In nursing homes, gender-segregated spaces like bedrooms and housing wings can be of particular concern to transgender seniors. As Alia Wong recently reported for The Atlantic, the U.S. Department of Education has affirmed that the protections of Title IX extend to transgender students; in July, citing Title IX, the Justice Department filed a statement in support of a transgender student suing a Virginia school district after being required to use an “alternative” restroom. But, Cook-Daniels said, there are currently no similar anti-discrimination regulations in place for nursing homes and other assisted-living facilities."

If you are of a more advanced age and are up for a less than uplifting read (scary) follow the link above.

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! Heads up! Another Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition has hit your virtual front porch.  Get your cup o joe and jammies ready!
Page 1.- The Week That Was-or-Wasn't:  It was an easy choice this week, the story of Bruce Jenner, who at press time was involved in a fatal accident. Unharmed, Jenner was being chased reportively by the paparazzi. Also riding on Jenner's possible MtF transgender transition was helicopter traffic reporter Zoey Tur. I just can't imagine sitting around the average American dinner table when one of the so called entertainment shows once again features either one of them.  Maybe stealth doesn't look so bad after all!
Page 2.- Transgender Seniors: For some reason this week, I fell and couldn't get up on the topic of transgender seniors and nursing homes.  An exceedingly tough discussion for anyone but worse of course for trans women and men.  Connie commented:
 "Having an advocate, like your daughter would be, is probably the most important thing for anybody when confined to a hospital or nursing home. I've had to be that advocate for family members and a friend, and I shudder to think of how much worse it would have been for them had I not made certain demands regarding their care. But, we know of so many transgender women and men who have been abandoned by family and friends. This very thing has led to suicide for too many of our transgender brothers and sisters. We, the survivors, must realize that getting past the pain of what life has handed us is not going to be of much help when we have to give up our own identities in order to receive medical care; care that could save our lives (even though we may feel as though we're dying inside at the same time).
Page 3.- Returning to the "Seen" of the Crime: Many times I think you lose track of your changes under HRT. Last week, for the first time in a while, I went back to one of one the venues I literally transitioned in. Wow, how times have changed! As I said in the post, two of the original bartenders are still there and no the venue itself didn't find itself in a "dangerous" neighborhood over the years. Go here to revisit the post.
Page 4.- The Back Page.  Congratulations this week to Stana of Femulate fame celebrating another blog anniversary! She is incredible! And, so are all of you for taking time to visit Cyrsti's Condo time after time! Thanks!

Damn You Are Old!

Recently, here in Cyrsti's Condo we discussed the issue of being a senior transgender person in a nursing home.  Being in a nursing home at all is scary I know-but as with everything else in our trans lives, we have extra issues.

Pat was good enough to direct me to Caden Lane's post on the subject which you can read here.

Back "In" the Closet at the Nursing Home?

FABULOUSCONNIEDEEFebruary 5, 2015 at 6:20 PM

Cyrsti, the death certificate thing is a real concern of mine. Actually, my main concern is for the way I may have to live out my end days. I don't recall having read much on this subject, but I can't be the only boomer transgender woman who is thinking of this. Having seen the way some of my older relatives have been treated in nursing homes, many of the infirmed are not even respected for their species, let alone their gender. As long as I have control over my life, I will live as a woman. I pray that I will be able to die with dignity and respect the same way, but I can't count on it. Perhaps you could do a blog entry on this subject. How do you think the VA is handling this? Maybe transition ends when we do, but death (or near death) shouldn't change who we've sacrificed so much for to be. Yet, I fear that it may do just that. It's not enough that we know who we are; we need validation from others to make our lives have any real meaning - in death, as in life.

Connie, I understand your death certificate concern but I am with with you in how I may be put in some sort of back room closet in a crummy nursing home somewhere. My confidence lies in my daughter is an absolute force-BUT-I shudder to think of being in an androgynous body with gender markers changed, in a nursing home. It's a very real paranoia to me.

On rare occasions I have seen posts on this topic and even joined an on line group, no pun intended, maybe it just died out? I do believe as more and more of the Boomers hit our age, more publicity will come out.  Good and bad.

As far as the VA goes, they still (I think) just dole out some money for your closet and that's pretty much it.  The big hurdle with them is still getting gender markers changed on discharge (retirement) paperwork.  The key is the VA is beginning to do it, but it's not policy.

So, no Connie, I just haven't seen much on the subject but I do watch -plus if it is any indication, my Frock Magazine articles on being a transgender senior are well read.(other than well written) Most certainly if and when I see more I will "pass" it along. Probably a dirty word in Seattle!