Saturday, October 29, 2016

Model Arisce Wanzer is on the cover of the new issue of Spiegel, an American retail catalog, making her the first transgender model to grace the 111-year-old magazine's cover.

Wanzer is also one of the transgender models profiled on the Strut series.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Valentina Sampaio

Models getting their own magazine cover these days is exceedingly rare and (Karlie Kloss might be pretty but the Kardashians sell copies), but Valentina Sampaio fronts ELLE Brazil’s November issue. 

So what makes this woman whose last name isn’t Hadid or Jenner worthy of such an honor? While Sampaio’s beauty is remarkable, the cover is important for another reason: it marks another small step for diversity in the fashion industry because Sampaio is a transgender woman. The 19-year-old’s latest shoot is just the latest contribution to the fashion industry’s efforts to be more gender inclusive. 

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Halloween Archive Post (2014)

As I look back over the years on the blog, it amazes me how much ground we have covered! Even though much of it is so similar.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

"Tis" The Season-Almost

"As I look out the front windows here in Cyrsti's Condo, I see the trees donning their yellows and reds for fall fashion and- of course my mind wanders past fashion toHalloween.

Rightly or wrongly, Halloween has left indelible marks in my noggin.  When I was a kid and all the way through college to my Army days, I never dressed as a girl for parties.  Not to say I didn't want to desperately, just didn't have the courage to do it (which turned out to be my problem for nearly five decades.)

Once I did begin to celebrate Halloween in all sorts of feminine costumes, quickly I learned two basics.  The first was I didn't want to wait a whole year to cross dress again in public.  The second was, beware of compliments.  It took me years to figure out I wasn't some sort of deity who could "make" a good looking woman and if I was indeed attractive was it because I was a guy cross dressing as a woman?

Looking back, the problem was, these experiences just were opening  a gender Pandora's BoxIf you take one of the definitions literally, the phrase "to open Pandora's box" means to perform an action that may seem small or innocent, but that turns out to have severely detrimental and far-reaching consequences.  How true it was, those early Halloween adventures were detrimental to me because I spent years trying to learn and then conceal being transgender.  "Far reaching" speaks for itself.

On the other hand, I was able to have several incredible Halloween experiences. Many of which we will write about in October! And! I would love to write about yours too!"

Still goes!

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

HRT-Another Look

As I said in my post about estrogen, my choice was purely a personal one and in reality doesn't have to mean anything to another transgender person transitioning. As Connie points out:

"So, I suppose I'm an example of one who does not need HRT in my transition, but there is still no lack of a wanting for it. In my case, it could very well kill me, and I'm too satisfied living as a woman these days to have to worry about dying as a "better" one. Nonetheless, I do have a longing to feel the emotional effects that HRT might induce - at least, I have an unrelenting curiosity about it. Had I not been such a procrastinator when I was younger, I could have experienced those effects for some time, even if I'd had to quit HRT for the sake of my health later. C'est la vie!

Ten or twelve years ago, I was a member of a cross dressing "social club". Most of the members were happy just to cross dress on Thursday nights, but some were contemplating transition or in the early stages of it. It's funny to me that I didn't realize I had already been in transition until after I'd spent some time with this group. I gravitated more toward the "transitioners", even though some of these people seemed to be more unstable than those who were satisfied with occasionally dressing up and going out to show their feminine selves to the world (at least to a bar or restaurant). As I observed the differences between the two "subgroups", I also noticed the differences within the HRT crowd. I theorized that there were those who were fueled by estrogen and others who were fooled by estrogen. I wondered, at that time, which I'd be if I were to begin HRT (a good excuse to procrastinate?). As time went on, though, I came to realize that I wouldn't be fooled by it, as I was confident in my gender identity. Maybe HRT would have been more like a fuel additive than the fuel itself, but there was no doubt in my mind that my motor was running and that I was headed in the right direction already. Whether one adds HRT to their transition or not, then, it's important to remember that your mileage may vary."

Confidence is the key! After all, gender is between the ears!

Mo Halloween

This post is a small montage of comments I received from one of my Halloween posts. The first is from Paula in the UK:

"Although growing in popularity over here (UK) Halloween has not played a big part in development. However one band I play in is considering having a Pantomime themed concert when we will be asked to play in fancy dress. I rather like the idea of going as a "leading boy", Prince Charming in thigh boots sounds like fun!"

Thanks Paula! I think this is the time of year I neglect to mention how big of an occasion Halloween is in this country. It's right next to Christmas!

And from Connie:

"Hey, I just heard of a survey that concluded 50% of men shave their legs! What's this world coming to? :-)

I found out last Friday that the main accessory for my costume was put on back-order - rescheduled for delivery in November. I had to cancel the order and am now hurriedly trying to figure out what costume I can wear this weekend. Maybe this is my year of the slut look? Or, I could go as the Seahawks offense and be nothing...." (NFL reference to a Seattle offense struggling to score any points!)

Must be all those "metro-sexual" guys!

Plus it is Halloween week on TV, a great chance to sneak a peak or two at a cross dressed actor!

Monday, October 24, 2016

As the Bewitching Hour Approaches

With the way Halloween falls on the calendar this year, many of the big parties are happening this coming weekend. Traditionally a chance to get a few unexpected "glances" at a cross dresser or two who may know their "craft" a little too well.

This is also the time of year when all the thrift stores have their share of men trying to act like they don't care as they shop for that special "frock."

As I written, it's hard for me to come up with all the Halloween's over the years-although I had to work through many of them. Even still, I managed to work my way through many costume stages.

Very early  I did the "slut" look which many cis women still use variations of every Halloween. Back in my late 20's I was even told "I made a better looking woman than man." Since I was very limited when I could cross dress the oft handed "compliment" caused me angst  for years. Back in those days I had the legs to show off and a better body proportion to go with them. In fact, I was known as "legs" for months after Halloween to several women. Secretly, the name made me pleased but then again just pushed me ever harder to put on the nearest dress. Which is exactly what I wanted to do anyhow. Just didn't need the extra pressure.

As the Halloweens went by, I tried gender confusion as my costume. My goal was to trick the public into knowing my true self.

Then as I came out as transgender, I didn't want to quote "do drag" at all on Halloween so I pretty much stayed home or didn't bother with a "costume" at all. I figured too, the evening would be an incredible time to people/costume watch.

Which brings me full circle to today. I am secure enough to do any kind of costume, but I am very partial to my witches/vampire look I wore to the Witches Ball we went to a couple weeks ago.

I wore a light patterned shaw over a full length slitted black skirt. For makeup I went with a very light foundation, dark eyes and a magenta lipstick. With my height, I kind of "swirled." Plus I wore black flats for comfort.

I'm sure most "civilians" don't understand the true meaning of Halloween to cross dressers/transgender peeps. Just be on the outlook for shaved legs if you want an idea about how serious a person is!!!

Friday, October 21, 2016

Me and My Estrogen

It's no secret one of the most powerful demarcation points of moving from cross dresser to transgender is when you take your first dosage of estrogen-be it in a pill, shot or patch.

Interestingly in our nit-picking trans community, one doesn't need the hormone at all to feel any more feminine or needs it to feel whole. (As it was for me.) So. to each their own! They may already have high doses of estrogen in their system already.

This post came to me yesterday as I was changing out my estrogen patches. As I did it, I thought back to my first doctor who subscibed me a minimum dosage with the "warning" my breasts would grow slightly and my hair a lot. Both were true and as my dosage increased so did my breast size which I estimate to be close to a "D" now. All I know my breasts define a deeper sense of feminity within me which I assume is normal with a cis woman too. Also, psychological or not, I feel a sense of having an emotional "period" if I miss a dose of estrogen.

I remember too, the less than intelligent comment I got from one guy who said he wished he could grow his breasts too, so he could play with them. Some comments just never go away like I was just "another old guy on hormones."

The point most never realize with HRT is most of it is mental. My emotions changed as quickly and completely as my body.

I have been on this route for nearly four years now, and have never doubted it was the right move for me. I have adapted nicely to how I see the world now from a different perspective and how it sees me. 

I always felt I was mainly non passable but went ahead and lived my life anyhow. Another someone once told me I passed out of sheer will power. Once thing HRT did do for me was soften my facial features and gave me the "no turning back" kick in the rear to live a feminine life.

Now it seems, much of the world is catching up with me, especially the millenial generation and below. Most are gender blind and some even think being transgender is cool to an extent.

So, having my own hair and breasts is connecting more dots making my life easier, but again HRT is in no way is neccessary for all of us to do the same.

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Still Dancin'

Connie (as she often does) has taken one of my posts and built on to it, giving it a new twist I didn't think about. Here is her latest:

"To paraphrase (with a twist) a Bible verse, "When I was a boy, I spoke as a boy, understood as a boy, and thought as a boy: But when I became a woman, I put away boyish things." I said and heard some awful things regarding women when I was overcompensating - in an attempt to cover up my feminine identity. I am so embarrassed by some of my behavior in those days. These days, I am definitely getting my pay-back for it all, though. I have been accosted countless times by men and subjected to such vile comments I never even could have conceived of in my younger days.

 I have also been touched inappropriately, and even groped a number of times by men. It seems that "no" still does not register with some of them, as if the word signals them to try harder. I'm still not sure that these men would say the same things to a cis woman, in that they may be confusing gender with sex - as if I were a gay man dressing up as a woman in order to attract them. It doesn't matter, however, as nothing would make their behavior acceptable. All of these incidents have taken place in public places, so I have been relatively safe physically. The emotional wounds are hard enough to deal with, though, and it all causes me to be on guard much of the time. The thing that really bothers me is that I am often initially flattered by the attention, even when I sense that the advance will end up being far from flattering. That is the fine line I walk, I suppose."

I am fairly sure most cis women walk that same "fine line" Connie! Most certainly since we have transistioned, we all have felt the pressure to look our best for men and women which again includes that line. Example, look sexy-not sluty or sexy not trashy.

But central to my point is the "sex vs gender" proposition which is so foreign to both genders but specifically to men as indicated by their actions.

Thanks again Connie!

Sad and To the Point

Like so many of us, I have a young transgender friend locked in two major struggles. One is internal and the other external-pressure from peers. This makes the point better than most and I decided to pass it along to all of you. 

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

The Dance of the Genders

With the recent "explosion" of attention regarding the ongoing treatment of women in our society brought on by one of the presidential candidates, I can't help but comment on a very complx issue, brought on by the fact I identify as a transgender woman.

First of all, as a guy I heard every degrogative feminine comment- and as I transistioned put myself in the same category. Otherwise known as losing my male privilege. I find it interesting certain cis women say it's not my problem and I don't understand it, but I do. Maybe better because of my perch on both sides of the gender fence.

As I hit dating age "back in the day" I wondered how girls did it. They managed to walk that fine line between "being respectable" and holding the keys to reproduction for the most part. If a girl was attractive and didn't "put out" it put her in a different category than the ones who supposedly  did. The dance dictated much speculation between genders. (In a pre birth control era.)

Of course, those were more innocent days and now increasingly through social media we hear of women who are/were forced into sexual situations against their will. Especially and tragically, younger ones.

As a former member of the male gender, I simply don't understand the whys or hows of a guy drugging a woman for sex or other creepy actvities. As I have written here a number of times, being over powered by a guy was a very real possibility for me one night. Ironically, my wife said my dress had a lot to do with it it. NO, what ever you wear should not enable any man to take any advantage of you he wants. And no these are not an extended version of "boys being boys."

If it is, families need to take a closer look at what it means to raise a son inot manhood.

At my advanced age of 67 it seems to me the dance of the genders has been wrecked, then  again, whatever has been wrecked can be repaired. Afterall, the "Millennial Generation" seems to be the most accepting transgender group ever.

One way or another cis and trans women and men needs to talk about and help repair the dance.

Saturday, October 15, 2016


Perhaps, if you have noticed a lack of posts around here lately, you are right,

Due to techincal and logistical problems, I have had a tough time doing any posting.

Thanks for your understanding!


Friday, October 14, 2016

Halloween, Connie Style

Presenting a great post from Connie on the Halloween season:

"Back in the 80's, when it seemed that cross dressers were the most sought-after guests for the talk shows like Oprah, Donahue, Geraldo, and Sally (many of the episodes I still have on VHS tapes somewhere), one comment from the audience of one such show stuck to me like glue: "Every day must be like Halloween for you people." It was meant to be a cheap shot, I'm sure, but it resonated with me because I was, at that time, closeted and trying to figure out just who (or what?) I was.

 The small wardrobe, makeup, and wigs I kept locked up did not seem to be the makings of a costume at all to me. Those things simply helped me to express the person I felt myself to be - if only to myself. However, I thought, if other people only perceived my expression to be that of a Halloween costuming, it would be best to stay home in my locked room. I was tempted every Halloween to go out, as the "excuse" would make my presentation more "acceptable", but I knew that it would end up being much less than satisfying for me. Even some years later, after my secret had been made known to my wife, I did not attend Halloween parties dressed as a woman. 

 The mixed review (or view?) from my wife was that I looked too good for anyone to believe that it was merely a costume I was wearing. It was not until I faced up to the fact that I was a woman deep inside, and I had ventured out as that woman a number of times, that I felt comfortable adorning a Halloween costume. I had finally reached a point where I felt I could be a woman wearing a woman's costume; not a man wearing a woman's costume. Whether anyone else might have found my presentation to be "acceptable" because of the season then made no difference to me, as I had finally come to accept myself for who I was. No, every day is NOT Halloween for me, but I do enjoy taking on a different character each October now."

Thanks Connie!!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

To Scare or Impress?

As we continue our mini Halloween series of posts, one aspect we haven't really covered in depth is what you expect your costume to convey, or do you expect it to be a costume at all?

Years ago, I got all dolled up to hit the Halloween parties in town with my ex wife. I slutted it up with a short skirt and heels but evened the outfit out with a black top and beret. My goal was to cross the line into what a cis woman would wear to an event like these.

It worked to a point in the darkened rooms with all the normal stares all the way to a few roaming hands on my rear. I was feeling pretty good about everything until a guy in a full mask came up and said "I know who you are."

I said "Really?" who am I? He said my name and said he knew because I looked like my Mom. Ironically he was right and had grown up close to us on the rural road we lived on in Ohio.

So there are as many kinds of costumes as your imagination can come up with, or depending upon your looks you could try a famous person. An example is years ago I had a friend who was Sarah Palin look alike and easily could have won a costume contest ot two.

I also think many figure just because they can dress as a good or great looking woman and win a costume contest are rare. Imagination is required like doing Hillary for example.

The good thing is, the bewitching hour is coming closer and closer and what ever costume/outfit you decide upon, the most important fact is to just have fun!

Monday, October 10, 2016

It's the Season of the Witch

Saturday night we went to and participated in putting together the first annual "Ohio Valley Witches Ball."
Outside of feeling like about ten miles of bad road, I had a good time. The theme was "Rocky Horror" and we had one female and one guy in drag do a wonderful "Frank-n-furter."

I wore a long black slitted skirt, patterned flowing Shaw and black flats. For make up I went with a very light (color) foundation, dark eyes and dark burgundy lipstick. The costume/outfit seemed to work OK because it felt fun and flowing and I even attracted an admirer at the event. (Been awhile.)

For you picture fanatics, don't panic, we are going to another Witches Ball on Halloween weekend. I am going to wear the same "costume" then and promise pictures.

In the mean time I am trying just to get well!

Friday, October 7, 2016

Office Wench

I know many of you work in an office environment and if you follow Stana at Femulate, this post may make a great deal of sense-depending how far out of the closet you may be.

If you are venturing out and "kind of, sort of" don't mind if everyone knows, dress in your best office wardrobe for the annual Halloween party.

From what I can gather, Stana has done it for years and it has opened the door even wider to step out as the transgender woman she is. Of course very few of us are as accomplished fashion wise as Stana, but if you want to get the point across there is more behind good old "Joe" in the office down the hall than meets the eye.

Common sense though is going to dictate how much "push back" if any you get from fellow workers. I have never worked in an office, so I don't have any personal experience except from what I hear from friends. A couple of them had began to MtF transition before joining their current job so much depends too on the age bracket of fellow workers and what kind of job you do of course.

One of the best examples I do have comes from many years ago. I became friends with another transgender woman from a very rural area of Ohio who was struggling with any acceptance and ended up living in her sister's garage. This was after she gave up a very promising career as a scuba diver, went back to school and graduated with a nursing degree and still couldn't find a job. She finally found employment at one of the frozen food packaging plants in the area and finally into their office.

She was very presentable and natural as a woman and did attract the attention of at least one man in the plant as I remember. Unfortunately we lost touch.

The moral to the story, is beware of the "costume" you wear to work!

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Elvira Love

To quote a term, "I love me some Elvira, Mistress of the Dark!"

What's not to love? slit skirt, plenty of cleavage and all of that jet black hair. In many ways, she was the fore runner to the Goth craze  and possibly one of the most copied characters by drag queens everywhere.

I hope my life is far from over, but some Halloween I would love to dress as Elvira!

This year I'm coming close, but my costume is leaning more towards the goth side, or at the least, very dark- with a long black slit skirt, long straight black wig and black tight tank top. With black flats.

So there will be another year for Elvira and something to shoot for!

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Living the Halloween Dream (Archive Post)

This experience goes way back into the days when I got out of the Army in the mid 1970's. I did what every other returning vet did (not),  used my GI Bill to get a second degree and bought a little bar with a friend.  My Dad came up with the classic quote about the bar when he said "At least it has two doors, so the flies don't have to stop when they pass through."

Of course I was into "warp" mode as far as my cross dressing activities were concerned. After years of forced depredation from anything feminine in the Army, the last Halloween party I went to before I got out primed the pump so to speak or the lipstick.

Last Halloween 
To put the time sequence in perspective, I was discharged in January, my first wife in March and we were married later that year.  I was out to her as a cross dresser and she made the comment (I have mentioned here in Crysti's Condo) that she really didn't know which one of me was going to pick her up at the airport.  She is a very good person, the mother of my daughter and we see each other and get along to this day...but... she is a just very easy going person. Sometimes I thought if I came home and said I'm going to go for SRS tomorrow, she just would have said that's cool dear. I know some of you will think,  "Wow, that IS  cool!" You have to understand me. If something is too easy then something is lurking in the shadows to nip you in the rear plus I had a very conservation macho family to consider too.

At any rate, Halloween that year turned out to be fun filled trip over to Columbus (Ohio) where one of the newly restored Victorian theaters was having a "Spook Out".  At midnight they were presenting the classic silent "Phantom of the Opera" with the restored house organ presenting the music. We went with another couple who were "kind of " in costume which I was too-mini skirt, long hair, heels, hose and all.

All these years later, I remember several things. First of all, this was one of my first experiences of feeling how uncomfortable an extended time walking in heels could be plus a mini skirt is wonderful to be admired in the mirror,  but took constant work to move in modestly.  Secondly, for the most part I wasn't even noticed at all because of all the other wonderful costumes. I still remember the guy dressed as the Pope, complete with two other guys following him in costume holding his cape.

As much of a rush these early Halloween's were though, the more painful they became later.  The next day I was already trying to figure out what my next cross dressing experience was going to be.  A very difficult process which made me a very grumpy person.  The problem was I knew staying home in front of the mirror in a dress just wasn't going to be enough and I had no idea of what enough may actually be.  So I took my "Halloween Fix" and moved on.

It's October and Time for Halloween

What are your goals? To pass for friend and foe? To dress up for work? Just to slut it up and party? All of the above?

If you and new to all of this cross dressing, perhaps you have spent a ton of time thinking about those questions already. If not, here are a few hard fought lessons I learned, mostly at the expense of my feet.

Way "back in the day" during my first real Halloween in drag, essentially I learned three things. Mainly, those three or four inch heels I picked out were simply not built for any sort of comfort (for me) and very quickly I was in agony. I also learned the demarcation point in doing a "ha-ha" drag impersonation and being way more serious is shaving your legs. I did shave mine and heard about it for weeks from my cis woman friends. And finally, getting the compliment "you have great legs" does not mean you are one of the rare few men who are naturals at making the external transformation into women. You may have the great legs as many men actually do, but it's what above them that often counts with your broad shoulders.

Regardless of all the warnings, I found Halloween to be a great time to get out and "strut my stuff" at the time in my life I couldn't. Plus I could live vicariously through a couple very effeminate servers on my staff at a couple restaurants I ran. One in particular was cross dressed by his girl friend and looked so convincing, many of my regulars asked when the new female server started. I was more than a tad envious as I was dressed in my old Army uniform.

On the other hand, Halloween was similar to a huge wad of cotton candy to me. After the evening was over, I couldn't figure out how I was going to make it another year until another "fix." How I began to get around all of that is a story for another blog post but essentially marked the point when I began to test my feminine presence in the world.

Over the remainder of October I'm going to try to pass along a few of my Halloween stories. Some scary, some fun and some flat out exciting.

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

It's All in the Awareness?

Both my "muse" and my daughter commented on my last post, being "guarded" more as my transgender self than at any other time in my life.

Ironically both came up with similar points called awareness. I don't think it is too much of an over statement to say women need to be more aware of more things in their lives than men. I have always said women lead a more layered existence than men anyhow and when you look at a guys' power structure, it's more obvious. A man can lead with his muscle, looks, athleticism and maybe sometimes even his brain and that's it.

Women of course have much more including families, kids and yes, men themselves -trying to beat them up in record numbers. As soon as I was on HRT for any length of time, somehow the world softened for me and my senses heightened. But...

It took me several instances of being in the wrong place at the wrong time to learn being threatened as a woman was no laughing matter.

So awareness indeed is a better word and never one to use just with men. I learned the hard way when certain women would come after me with their claws hidden, sharp and headed for my back.

As I always mention, if you are testing the public waters as a transgender woman for the first time, watch for the dark alleys. Literally and figuratively!

Guarded? or Guarding?

She's "baaaaack!" from the trip to Maine and yes it was beautiful. I now refer to myself as a "Lobstah-Snobsta."

On the trip of course I ran into all kind of peeps in the group who accepted me for who I am, or quite frankly didn't. They got over it. We did meet a woman who was traveling alone whom we became close to and along the way I committed my number one sin-I outed myself to her.

My excuse is once I start adding in my two cents (or more) to a conversation about my previous life, it's tough to separate the gender aspect of it. As I was spending so much time and energy being macho. As a point of reference, she didn't seem to care much but was more surprised and had no idea. (I was flattered.)

All of this carried indirectly into a conversation with a dear friend I call my "muse" Sunday night. She asked several of us what the one word we would use to describe ourselves would be. I thought for a moment and said "guarded."

For some reason I never got back in the conversation enough to say I'm not guarded with her. With the general public though I am. I let them make the first move towards acceptance, or not and go from there.

I suppose it comes from years of early rejection before the public has become more aware of the transgender community. Aware we won't bite and have had our shots for the most part. Plus there is the minority of peeps who flat out find us interesting.

So, I just haven't gotten to the point of merging two distinct lifestyles to let my guard down totally and perhaps I never will.

Thanks though, to all who have encouraged me to do it. It means more than I can ever say!

Saturday, October 1, 2016

You "Make" A Better Looking Woman?

Saturday, May 29, 2010

You make a better looking woman!

You've probably heard the comment.
Unless you are like the recent "Tyra Show"guests. I'm referring to the 7 and 8 year old transgender kids who are living in their preferred gender. You've likely agonized over the duality within you. .When I played defensive end, I wanted to be the know the story.
My experimentation with the opposite gender didn't really start until I was about 12. The magic elixir of seeing a girl in the mirror was powerful.  I've often wondered if some chemical endorphin in my brain is the catalyst for the creature I am today.
And what about the comments that I made a" better looking woman than man"?  (Halloween party gossip) Comments such as those used to destroy me! How could I even consider stopping this shameful "hobby"? Where was my "get out of jail free" card to end this madness?
Obviously, I didn't stop. In my mind there is nothing more powerful than a beautiful woman so I listened to the comments and obsessed to get better.  Better I did become.

The world knew me as one gender or the other and for the most part I went out of my way to create two existences.  Chance encounters with people who knew the male side of me never produced any recognition. Life was balanced.
Until New Years day this year.

Symbolically, I started the year and decade as Cyrsti for the first time ever. Checked into the hotel as a girl, went to the clubs with friends and left the next morning in girl clothes. On the way home, I changed into my favorite teams jersey (filled it out a little different!) and stopped and watched the first of the bowl  games.
On the way home, I was totally into girl mode when impulsively I stopped at my regular grocery store to pick up a couple things. On New Years Day I figured none of the regular cashiers would be working.  If they were, they wouldn't know me anyhow.  Wrong, wrong and WRONG! Both of the regular cashiers were working.
Of course one of them picked me out of the crowd immediately. I knew it and she knew it...she thought. I bought my groceries and took off.

I went back the next day to see if I was right.  It took her about ten seconds to start asking questions since I was alone in line.
She said "I know how you will answer" but "do you have an alter ego" or did I lose a bet.
I was naturally evasive as I considered "outing" myself and just said I was at my brothers watching football.
I did not out myself to her so she got bored and  wrapped it all up with "Who ever it was was very attractive and really looked like you".
Nearly three days later I ended up in the other cashier's line. Following a similar Q & A, she just said "if you ever had to go that way, you would have no problems, she was beautiful."
Not my ideal way to go fishing for compliments.

Fortunately, my gender balance wasn't too difficult to restore.  Many around me know of my duality and I don't care.
I did spend some time considering the old questions about how challenging it is to live life this way.
But you know I wouldn't miss another shot of that "magical elixir." Life would be soooo much more boring!