Saturday, June 26, 2010

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

Please tell me I'm the fairest of them all!
On occasion, the mirror does tell me that. Then again, the mirror has been known to fib!
I have always had a struggle with that mean old mirror.
It told more than a thousand times I was beautiful only to be stared and laughed at in the first public venue I visited.
More than once the mirror said "you are plain and unattractive" and I never had a problem.
Before you want to jump to conclusions concerning the mirror's judgment, let me reassure you I passed through "transgendered puberty" years ago. I don't frequent malls and such in a micro mini and 5" heels.
Luckily, before I tossed the mirror into the trash heap , we called a compromise.
I told the mirror what I wanted to achieve and we have been working together to be successful.
My ideal was to be a 40ish, big and curvy girl. (My age and size made that a reality! lol) 45 and 5'10".
I wanted to be the woman who was upscale casual.  My love affair with skirts and dresses went away years ago. My image was to be shapely jeans and boots in the winter and flats or flip flops in the summer. (although I do have some "peek a boo" pumps and 3" wedgies that make occasional appearances).
Makeup was allowed to be heavier but always done well and not trashy.
Finally, my long wavy hair  worked well with my size.
Now, when the mirror approves and says GO , I  flip the switch to maximize my walk and movements. I don't hurry to a seat. I take my time and I'm in heaven!
Yes, the mistrusted mirror did aid my current female incarnation.  It helped me to be the friendly, attractive and slightly exotic woman at the pub. (Most of the time)
When the image just doesn't work, then it's time to consult the mirror and go back to the drawing board.
But,as fewer changes are needed, that mean old mirror becomes just a tool again.Not a critic.
Just in time! Don't need another 7 years of bad luck!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

I wish I was a good enough writer to capture the transistion feeling!

If Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars...

Where are transgender folks from?
Perhaps we are the "earthlings"?
Think of the possibilities and the challenges.
No matter if you put a dress on once a week or you've fully transitioned, we earthlings are a unique tribe.
We suffer the same problems as Venus and Mars, and quarrel about them in similar ways. After all, the gravitational pulls of the other two
planets tug on us daily.

We are uniquely flamboyant or conservative in our dress and mannerisms as we struggle on our planet.
The problem with our planet is that we have opened "Pandora's Box" and we can't close it. All the different glittering gifts in the box fascinate! Those gifts send us down different paths we don't understand our self.

Imagine what that must be like for the inhabitants of the other two planets? From downright hatred and violence to curiosity and
acceptance-we get it all!
What's an "earthling" to do?
We hash and rehash our lives here to each other. In many cases we are all we have to communicate the pain and the joy of our planet.
All of this it's helps us to become stronger.

We need to believe in our tribe and embrace it's diversity! We have lived in the other two camps. If in the smallest way you can use that knowledge, you are one of God's chosen creatures. What ever God you believe in.
Communicating with the two other genders is a rare gift. Learning it and using it is the challenge. Accepting the challenge and being successful will make our planet a much better place to live!!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Going the Way of the Dinosaur?

Admittedly, in my formative years a pair of pantie hose was as close to heaven as I could get.
Like so many others, I ruined my Mom's on regular occasions.
As I became mobile with my own finances, clothes and hose became easier to obtain.  Seemingly every discount and convenience store had the rack of "Leggs' Egg's".
The more I progressed in the "girl" mode the less impact pantie hose had at all.  In fact these days, women where I live don't wear them at all unless they are 65 or older.
I knew that. I'm "bare legged" in my summer fashion to the greatest extent possible.
Recently, an "admirer" expressed interest in seeing me in "hose and heels."
Not desiring to let him down, I went shopping for a pair of nude pantie hose. Hoping for the best of both worlds.
I needed to make my legs look better, make him happy and still have the bare legged look.
I figured I would go to Wally's World (W-Mart).
They have always had a great selection of hosiery.
WRONG! I'm not exaggerating, the store had only 50 pairs to chose from..
It's summer I know, but come on!
Sadly, another part of my youth has passed me by. No muscle cars with the hot red head slowly crossing those nylon legs!
Well, it's not totally gone. I did buy a pair and loved the experience  last night in my denim skirt! It did feel great to welcome an old friend back to the wardrobe.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I really liked the 4 in heels on one of the girls...i washed hands they never gave me a 2nd look!
Very hot got a few looks on arrival. Interestingly, none in last trip to rest room.
New look tonight. Back to straight black hair and denim mini. So far so good!
If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus where am I from?

Monday, June 21, 2010

Japan's Crossdressing Fashion Walk!

A "Traditional" Girl?

I recently sent these comments to another blog. The question was why hetero men might prefer a trans woman. This is not the first time I've responded to questions similar to this! But here it goes again:
I visit several straight pubs on a regular basis and it has not been uncommon to strike up conversations with presumably hetero guys at the bar.
For the most part, the men are middle aged professional types.
Here are my top reasons we get along.
1.- Yes I do work hard to be as attractive as I can. (I’m told I present well)
2.-I don’t want to have their baby. No pressure.
3.-I don’t want their checkbook. (But they can buy me a drink! )
4.-I can talk a real “mean” sports conversation. (Or cars or work)
5.-I do understand their day to day problems and job pressures. (the conversation is ALL about them)
6.-I won’t nag.
7.-I don’t need or expect a long term relationship. (back to the baby part) You see I’m not on a date count before I want a ring.
8.-I’m real discreet. (don’t take me home to meet your family)
9.-I will dress up for a guy. It's the fun part!
10.-I just work harder to look better and be more attentive to a guy.
Traits that most women have tossed aside.
For the most part, I used to shy away from talking to men on a “one on one” basis. (I’m normally by myself.)
Recently I’ve changed all of that. Most of my conversations have proved I can compete socially with GG’s and I love it.
Being in the middle does have it’s benefits on occasion.

Friday, June 18, 2010

I was invited to an 'end to alimony' party tonite by my BFF 'A'. It was a great time! Thanks

Hungry Eyes....

I watched he NBA final game last night  in the confines of my regular "home away from home" pub.
Arrived in plenty of time to get a good seat at the bar and the game was being shown on 3 out of 5 of their huge big screens. 
I had to sit at the far end of the bar. A person who always wants to talk me into the ground was sitting at her usual spot at the other end.
One of these days, I'm going to have to actually count the seats to give all of you a better idea of how long it is. In the meantime, I'm going to have to say this place seats 40-50 at the bar. (fancy place) and other hundred in the room behind it.
The only problem with sitting on my end is the trek to the restroom is long and visible.
Normally the crowd is a 60-40 male mix and the women are fairly well dressed. The pub is located around a big upscale mall so dressing up is usually not a problem.
Last night I was one of five or six "girls" in the front section and dressed better than the others. Normally I just do jeans, flips and top and go for it.
 I felt like capris  wedgies and one of my favorite blouses would work last night So-
On my trips to the rest room, I got a LOT of scrutiny.
I wonder if GG's get used to it? Like it or what? It was fun the first time round! Threw back the shoulders and gave my best "take a look" at it walk back to my seat. Put the best "bored" expression on my face.
I never make direct eye contact and sort of lightly scan the room to catch the reaction. I NEVER take any of this as second nature because in the past I've almost been laughed out of the place.
Another post should examine the types of looks one gets.
Obviously they vary.  The one descriptive term I can use about last night was "hungry".
No matter how you cut it I'm a big girl so if I'm good and lucky enough to present as a big "attractive" girl, I will stand out. Not a problem. It's a compliment!
Last night wasn't a problem either, just different. But it was one of the evenings I wished one of my real girl friends was along for the ride!
Normally though, they just smirk at my "problem". Welcome to our world!  Ha Ha, hows it feel to be undressed with those eyes?
The true problem  was what dinner the "hungry" eyes would have gotten... after the undressing!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

I shaved my legs for this? Maybe! It's early!

A return to the scene of a crime!

No, I'm not a criminal.
The "scene" was another sports bar I frequented a year or so ago. It was the only place that I have ever been discriminated against.
Most of the abuse started when a group of younger redneck guys read me.  I put up with the cheap shots and comments because I do not let people like that run my life.
However, when "Dude looks like a lady" was played on the juke box 3 times in a row, it was time to go.  The wimpy manager wouldn't intercede (I was a regular) but that was his call.
The final blow happened a week or so later on a Saturday night. 
Everyone once in a while, I will draw the attention of a GG who is positively entranced with the image I portray.
It has more to do with what I do than how I look doing it.  Between her and three other very curious "20 somethings" that night, I attracted a very serious "posse".
I loved it! All was good until I had to make a trip to the Ladies' Room. (An urgent trip!)
There were some other occupants doing what girls do.
One older bitter looking woman hit me full blast with "How's it going Dude."
I'm normally pretty quick with a come back, but this was different.  I wasn't a rookie in the bathroom wars. I've had to stand in line to wait with the girls and shared tp and fashion tips.
On this occasion I just smiled sweetly and said "I need to get back with my friends" (I think she was jealous)
On my next visit the same manager said he was having "comments" about which bathroom I was using.  So I left...gave him my frequent user discount card and left for a year.
I simply returned to the two other places I went to in the area (one for 12 years).
I finally did return last night. Just to see if I could. I knew the manager was long gone but the regular bartender was still there.(we never had a problem).
I watched the end of the ball game. Listened to some good music (one of the reasons I went there) drank two and left. 
Problems? No, and I think I saw my old nemesis.  She did not give me a second look.  (A year of practice!)
By the way...on the way out I did have to use the ladies' room.

Monday, June 14, 2010

So far so is a Monday and quiet.
At the Grn. Finally rain done...many options on next move!
Seems like an eternity since we ve been out! n curly and fun! Monday starts my weekend!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The mirror, The camera, The public.

Last night I changed my look for the first time in a while. (girl's prerogative, right?)
I choose a shoulder length straight black hair style.  I used to wear it quite a bit until I became enamored with my red curly fun hair.
The public has told me the "Red" does wonders for me and I LOVE the curls and length.  I never have had a problem presenting in it. The compliment invariably come from women.
The camera seems to like it also. The pictures are normally my highest rated. The mirror (which sometimes fibs!)
likes it too!
My problem.  Guys in my age bracket (more mature ha!) approach me in the dark hair. No compliments...approaches.
I normally never fail to attract a conversation all the way up to the "motel room key" switch!( Another story.)
The camera is not cooperative. I have had a heck of a time taking a quality picture. 
The mirror on the other hand, flat out loves the look!
I can only speculate that women like the volume, curls and color of the red hair. If done correctly, it's a sexy look. If wrong, drag queen come to mind.
I don't get hassled, but not approached.
The dark presents it's own set of makeup problems.  The eyes have to be overdone, along with the cheekbones with less emphasis on the lips to really make the look work.
Just right and my green eyes really stand out. Too much and "goth" comes to mind.
Reality tells me that I must be attractive and approachable to older guys and that is very flattering!
I guess the final impression comes from inside anyhow. But the showcase sets it up for success...or failure.

T-Central: New Blog Listings!

T-Central: New Blog Listings!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The hard part of a big straight sports bar is presenting 'warm n gooey' walk it!
First trip across 75 drinking peeps to W room a success. Life is good!
Success! Got a seat at the packed Fox! Manager at Adobe's spoke 1st time. Regular bar tenders here didnt know me with new look. WoW
Very slow start to evening. Trying a shorter,straighter hair style. Paranoid about my eyes. Very dark needs very dark eyes. Does bring out the green!

Monday, June 7, 2010

I'm at Adobe's. 'M' the bartender is a knock out. Could be a post. What would you trade w devil to look like that?
What a beautiful enough for lite jacket capri's and wedgies.
Hi all! Trying new technology

Sunday, June 6, 2010

She "popped" the question!

Not THAT one!
When I begin to think I feel comfortable in this  life I lead, reality always pays a calling card.
For years, conversations have progressed rapidly into "are you?" or "how long" or even "why?".

Last week, it all changed.I was sitting in my regular hang out when a woman slides in beside me.  This is not too uncommon because both of us were single girls at the bar.  The remainder of the 25+ seats were guys or couples.
She probably was seeking safety in numbers (our 2).
In a very short period of time she started a "small talk" conversation.  During this conversation we were approached by a serviceman just back from Afghanistan attempting to buy us a drink. Very flattering since both of us are on the long side of 40 and he was probably in his mid 20's. Yes, the "cougar conversation" was fun!  Instead of letting her solo the conversation, I just jumped right in too and offered to by HIM the drink. Seemed proper, since he was serving in the military. I was amazed how natural I felt.
Suddenly I was playing the game to win, just not to lose. Being two single girls at the bar was fun!
Well, I was on my own personal "cloud nine".  Here I was talking "girl talk" and getting free drink offers from younger guys. I also knew he didn't know because he offered a handshake when I offered him a drink.  The shake was the lite "guy to girl' hand rub.
The interaction  soon led to a lengthy conversation about the men she was attracted to.During all of this, if she had any questions about my gender she didn't let on in the least . Typically, most women don't care and find me to be a curiosity, but you know "we know your little secret!" I'm not complaining.
Soon  she asked me what kind of guys I was attracted to. You could have knocked me over with a feather.
I  had really never considered guys an attraction.  Not at all until  last year. (if you've read my other blogs)
The question positively confused me.  I mumbled some weak explanation and excused myself to the Ladies Room. One of the ultimate female moves. Run, hide and collect yourself and return.
Played with my hair, touched up the makeup and came up with my ideal guy! A humorous bigger guy who likes sports, food and music.  No "stay at home" types. Let's get out and live life.
Of course I managed to work bits and pieces of all of this epiphany (love that word!) back into our conversation.
Before we parted, I found we shared some common social places in the area.  I'm sure we will meet again and this time I'll accept that free drink!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What came first? The listick or the heels?

I'm sure many of you have seen or even participated in a "woman less" beauty pageant. If you are not familiar,  the "Femulate site" is one of the best places to visit.. It has many in depth looks at some of the best pageants. Just Google it and look around on the site.
In addition, if you seen any of the Japanese TV shows who dress high school boys as girls,  you will see impressive transformations. We will never see a TV show (no pun intended) in this country like it!
The American pageants make you work a little! You have to sort through the "not so good" participants who are doing it for a laugh. In every group however, it is not hard to spot the "girls" who have either worked hard at being a girl or have a lot of practice!
Maybe Mom wanted a daughter? Well she got a pretty darn good looking son for these pageants. If this was the guy's first time, Mom and or a girlfriend got a big surprise!
All of this brings up the "chicken or the egg story". If some of these guys EVER had any idea of putting on a dress and makeup and looked this good...can they ever go back.
The first dose of compliments on how they looked could be too much to ever forget!
Or, did they want to be there all the time and the pageant was just another Halloween party?
I enclosed a couple of attachments. Enjoy! If you need more info ask!
Attached Image

Attached Image

A Night under the Full Moon!

In my youth, my family and I fished a lot. The waiting game was never one of my strong points but adjust I did.
Some believed if you fished on a full moon , you caught more fish.
To para phrase Alan Jackson's "It's Five O Clock Somewhere" tune, I was sitting under someone's full moon this weekend. (we were not under one) None the less, I caught a lot of fun.
Normally I try to stay out of the way. I hate to stay home, so I go out to be alone or socialize with a couple friends. Regardless, I've always considered my evenings out a fishing trip. Wait and see what happens.
Friday night I made my way into a real quiet little gay bar. I frequent it because it is small and quiet. About half way through my first beer a couple came in and sat a couple seats down at the bar. Very quickly they both were sizing me up and as close as I could tell, he was gay and she was his sister. Then the fun started.
The girl (a real one) was his friend and liberally intoxicated. She was a hairdresser/make up person by trade. Her credits included some stops in New York, San Fran and others. She was home and rowdy and soon setting next to me.
I was flattered that at first she thought I was "real". Then she told me " why would a single girl be hanging out in a gay bar." We exchanged names and drinks and it was time for the girl to girl smoke break  on the patio (Ohio is a non smoking state). She filled me in on her past and even offered to critique my "look".
I loved it. Most of my make up passed except my lips (too much lipstick) and I got some great tips on my eyes.
Better yet, I got an  an offer to go with them to their next stop, a bigger club with a drag show. It's a club not known for it's support of the transgendered community.  In fact I really boycott the place except when I get an invitation like that night. (Yeah, I sold out)
The clientele is probably 95% gay male who don't have any reason to accept "girls" like me. I don't need acceptance but I don't need passive aggressive either.
Didn't matter, I had my engraved invitation. Walking in  with her and friend made a remarkable difference. He was as friendly to me as her so I had plenty of attention. Even from the performers who thought I used to perform with them. Wow.
All good things must come to an end however and I hung around for awhile when she got really wild. I headed out for a calmer finish to my evening.
What a great experience it was to get some real beauty hints and of course the great interaction!
Maybe some day I'll see her doing makeup or hair on a reality show!
I need the "full moons"  if my life is to be as exciting as some perceive it to be! If it was, I wouldn't be able to walk or talk. I would be exhausted. After all, we know our lifestyles on both gender coasts are SO exciting and decadent! Ha!
If I don't notice you on the sidewalk, I'm just on the outlook for a "full moon" Sorry!

Sink or Swim

Image from Trans Wellness Event.  Jessie Hart Archives.  Many times when I first entered the world as a new cross dresser or femininized mal...