Tankin' It

Summer has arrived and it is time to access my number of tank tops for the season.

Fortunately, HRT has continued to reduce my male muscle masses and even made my body hair even finer and less noticeable. Nearly perfect for a tank top.

Being an old hippie at heart, I have a couple pairs of well worn "boyfriend" jeans to go with them.

Thursday when I go to my latest round of doctors visits at the VA hospital I plan on wearing a simple black tank, jeans and tennis shoes for what normally always promises to be a long walk. Plus, this visit could be one where I have to give blood for my iron problem. Which is caused mostly by the UV rays of the sun for me. So, easy arm access is helpful for the process.

Speaking of the VA and doctors, my bone density tests came back normal, which obviously was great.

Summer time is also melting time for most of us and the perfect makeup job can "glisten" away before we know it. Again the effects of transgender HRT helped with the softening of my facial features. I never had a huge beard to start with, so I survive the heat a little better. I usually can make it with minimal foundation and blush to contour  my face. Finally, I try to bring my eyes out more.

Which leads me to one of the most asked questions I receive, "What is going 24/7 as a woman like?"

First and foremost, when you throw out all your old male clothes, you have committed yourself to more of an effort to embrace and accept the seasons. I always need to plan ahead on purchases and outfits even though I am more of a "casual" style woman. Your woman of course, will be always evolving with the seasons and age.

Good fortune with your transition, you will find luck has little to do with it. Destiny does.

Congratulations!

I know that many of you follow the Femulate Blog and probably know that the blog's creator, Stana is about to retire from her full time job and resume life.

May I be one of the minions to wish Stana all the best! And, if you haven't read, she is strongly considering taking a part time job as a woman at Dress Barn!  How exciting would that be for her!! A wise hire for Dress Barn!

Best of good fortune in your new life Stana, on whatever transgender path you choose!

Memorial Day

Too many of us get involved in the excitement of a three day weekend to forget what the holiday is all about.

Memorial Day of course salutes all of our troops who gave the ultimate sacrifice (death) and to all who still serve selflessly.

Even though the public refuses on so many levels to acknowledge it, we transgender veterans (alive or deceased) have made so much of an invisible impact.

Let me be one who does.

Thanks!

I Will Take a Compliment When I Can Get It!

A couple days ago, it was time to visit my Endo Doc again and get my estrogen patches re-upped again. I don't see him thankfully about every six months, so he notices breast size changes etc.

As he looked me over, he said "Well, you are certainly starting to feminize more." I told him that was music to any transgender woman's ears and thanks!

Even though I know I will never get totally to where I want to be, I was able to hold my head up a little higher on the way out of the hospital.

How Thick is What?

Well, my first transgender bone denisty scan has come and gone. It in fact was very easy and only took about 20 minutes. I decided on an even slightly different "metal-less" outfit when I found my Jeggings. If you are not familiar, they are leggings designed to look like jeans and worked well with a loose gray tunic top I have. The top fits well enough so I can get away with not wearing a bra, along as Liz doesn't catch me. So I felt comfortable and at least a little sexy at the same time. Who knows, some of the old guys at the VA Hospital may have enjoyed it too.

Jeni wrote in with another take on the situation: "I've had a number of bone mineral density tests over the years. They're easy. 

The thing with calcium uptake is, it's not how much calcium you are consuming, but how well it is able to get into your bones. 
That is my big hassle. 
The key there is vitamin D3. Because of the pre-existing problems with my bones, I have to take a moderate dose of that daily to aid calcium uptake.

Crop-top bras are great for these tests. No metal at all to worry about.

As for pants that depends on the temperature. 
Colder days, elastic waist jeans. No metal zips, clips, buttons or rivets.
Summer, three-quarter length, elastic waist, cream linen pants.

As for tops, whatever co-ordinates well, that has no metal.
I tend to wear my blue or green t-shirts, as that allows me to also wear my blue, green, and white bead necklace which has no metal at all.

White sandals completes the outfit for hot days, while black shoes are the go for cooler days."

And, Connie added: " 

I've had to undergo a couple of MRIs and a CT scan, and they've always made me change into a hospital gown. The problem I have with metal, though, is that all of my wigs have a small piece of metal at the temples. You don't have that problem, of course, but I have had to bring a turban to avoid the embarrassment of going into the machine with a bald head. I'm overdue for a lobotomy, though, so I don't know what I'll do after I get that metal plate on my skull. :-)"

Thanks Ladies!

A Girl Has to Have Choices...Right?

Wednesday is my first bone density test as ordered by one of my doctors. Seeing as how I am 67 and on estrogen, I need to see if I am getting enough calcium in my diet so my bones don't become brittle.

For the test, I have been directed to wear nothing with metal, including buttons and zippers. What came to mind was a couple different outfits I have with longer tops (to cover private bulges) and leggings. One is a gray and black theme, the other, a pastel top with bright clored leggings. Both of which would work well with my black flats.

I am even going to wear one of my sports bras who don't have any metal hooks either.

So I beleive I will cover all the rules and have some fun doing it.

So, another milestone in being a "more mature" transgender woman, will have been reached along with my mammograms.

She's Baaack...Kind Of

The laptop is back but as of yet, I have not got any internet connectivity yet. As it turns out, it has turned out to be the least of my problems.

So, in the meantime, I am sneaking a post in from Liz's computer.

During the course of the breakdown, Liz's 91 year old Dad, had a major set back or two and into an assisted care nursing home.  That in itself made our toilet debacle seem small in comparison.
Plus Liz's Dad has recovered a bit.

Now, during the middle of all of this, one of our toilets basically seemed to find time to self destruct beginning with a feed tube problem which has caused us to turn the water off for a couple days until a plumber can get a new toilet installed. As it turned out, repairs alone would have cost nearly what a new one cost.

Back in the day, I could have done it myself but found out the hard way, those days were long gone when I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and nearly hit my noggin (head) on the bathtub.  So, this afternoon, I will get to spend a fun filled afternoon with a plumber.

Perhaps by the time the day is up, we will be back to some sort of normalcy here in the house and I can be back on a more regular basis with all of you.

I can only say, attempting plumbling again wreaked havoc with my nail polish!

Cyrsti's Condo Archive Post: It's Never Too Late

(Warning, these links may not still be current.)

Friday, January 3, 2014

It's Never Too Late

I happened upon a post by another transgender woman who is transitioning later in life and living to write about it! (Just kidding!)
It's called "When to say Yes to the Dress" by Courtney Bedell on the Baltimore Gay Life site.

Courtney's story is similar to many of us.  She met the same resistance, harbored the same inner turmoil and ultimately reached the points we are now in life. Not so surprisingly in the transgender culture, we are called "pretenders" because we waited so long to transition.

Six year old Coy Mathis was used by Courtney as an example of a "no doubter" transgender child who just knew she wasn't a boy.  Coy of course also benefited immensely from a family who has battled for their daughter's right to be herself.  I'm guessing, immensely rare for anyone of my age.

Here's an excerpt from more of the post:

By 12 I felt strongly that I was a girl but unlike Coy, I couldn’t talk about it to my parents, or anyone else. I did what most TGs did 20 or 30 years ago: deny, deny, deny! At 12 I was wearing my older sister’s dresses and using her make-up, but not in public. Despite my having plenty of friends adolescence was a lonely and devastating time for me. I could only be myself when I was alone so I often hooked school to spend the day in a dress curling my hair and putting on make-up. 

 Nobody ever saw me looking pretty—ask any teenage girl if that isn’t a version of hell! I wanted to tell my mom but I just couldn’t find the words. Even when she might have picked up on the clues she didn’t open the subject. When I saw a psychiatrist at my parent’s behest it took me two years to tell him I was convinced that I was a girl and had XX female chromosomes. Naturally, he thought I was simply gay or a cross-dresser. I continued to live two separate lives for another 20 unhappy years.

Sounds familiar, right? Here's more:

 So, the answer to “when do you say yes to the dress?” is simply, as soon as possible! From my own experience, I say do yourself a huge favor and don’t waste half your life denying your true essence! Don’t endure decades of pain and loneliness waiting for the ideal time to change. We often wait until the situation becomes severe enough to outweigh our fear of the potential upheaval our transition will cause. It doesn’t have to be that way if we approach it preemptively before our lives become unbearable or unmanageable.

 See a gender therapist, go to a support group (Tranquility at GLCCB), search your feelings, explore your options, sort it all out and learn what action is best for you. You may decide it is time to transition or you may discover transition is not right for you­—the key word here is “discovery.”

Follow the link above for more!

Missing in Action

Once again it seems, my good old not so trusty lap top needs to be sent away for some warranty work, so my brilliant (LOL) new posts are going to have to wait.

I love all you regulars and your comments and will possibly be able to still do a few a post here and there. Especially archived ones.

Sorry for all the inconvenience.

Another Week in the Monsoons.

While we haven't received the huge amount of rain other areas of the country have received, we have been getting our unfair share too.

Of course, this is one of the weeks I have to make my trips all over to Dayton (twice) for my VA doctors and Cincinnati once for the bi monthly CrossPort meeting with mainly other transgender women sprinkled in with a few cross dressers.

Plus is the weather happens to cooperate, we have a full moon get together tonight.

Through it all, I have had a chance to get my "wifely" chores done and get a load of wash finished plus cooked dinner. It's OK since Liz is working so hard at her job, it's the least I could do and I always jested I would make someone a good wife some day.

Interestingly, once again it is a week like this week that causes me to plan ahead on my outfits several days in advance and truly feel like a woman. On the down side though, I have managed to chip my nails and need to repair them in my spare time.

Looking back, I can only think, be careful what you wish for, because it may come true.

Into the Lioness' Den?

Yesterday was one of those days which pre Mtf transition, I would have dreaded. In fact, I still dreaded it yesterday. Why?

Our Wiccan group who is putting on it's second annual Witches Ball this Halloween and Sunday we met at a semi rural WalMart to set up to sell things for a fundraiser to benefit a homeless shelter.

I will admit it. I felt like one of the main characters in Deliverance. Especially if I had to use the rest room. (I did.)

Going in, I figured to make myself as inconspicuous as possible and let the others do most all of the interaction. But, as luck would have it, that didn't work either, as one by one, most of the other participants found an excuse to leave or find something else to do. For a short while, I was even tasked with passing out brochures in front of one of the entrances. Eccch!

Through it all, I kept telling myself this was one of situations I never wanted to go through when I thought about going 24/7. As a matter of fact, I tell anyone considering a transgender transition, to go ahead and try the toughest situation they can think of and do it.  

As always I lived and wasn't whisked away by some redneck with a Confederate flag and I think I was only followed into the restroom by one employee to make sure I wasn't doing dastardly deeds. So, I suppose the day was some sort of a success.

The whole day though brought about thoughts of going "full time" as a trans woman and how some seem to think it may be all sweetness and light.

I am going to save my thoughts for another blog post!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Creativity is in the mind of the beholder and at times, mine is running on empty."

Jessie Hart

No Creativity

When I started Cyrsti's Condo under a different name some six years ago, I had a simple idea to pass along what I had learned from my sometimes crazy transgender life to others. Often I hoped it worked, other times I am not so sure.

The blog slowly but surely wove it's way out of my adventures in different cross dressing situations with a variety of wigs and clothes into leading a 24/7 life as a trans woman on HRT. I even changed my legal name and gender markers on on the available identification forms available to me. Exciting times indeed.

Now though, as life has slowed down, I am searching for different ways to express myself and write about them on the blog. Slowly but surely, I am searching for other ways to be an activist and volunteer more in causes I see a desperate need for.

Take Trans Ohio for example. They operate a very active educational and year around legislative push here in the Buckeye State for changes such as the antiquated birth certificate gender laws. Perhaps they could use some help.

The only thing I do know is, with the way our society is today, any voices out of the wilderness will help.

Perhaps it is my turn to write blog posts so boring as to make paint dry. Because the only paint I can write about is the nail polish I managed to scrape up already.

I have written here about the "anti stealth" . A stage in your life when you are living exactly how you want, regardless of how it plays out in the public's eye.

Perhaps doing a little more work on the activist side will combat that!

Ba Ba Boom!

I think the best way to really study how cis women move is to study/take belly dancing classes or better yet sensory burlesque.

Taking either type of classes is on my bucket list, but truthfully I'm not sure I have enough courage.

The next best thing though is watching a group of women dance or maybe sensually grind? I have been fortunate enough to do both and was totally mesmerized. And this comes from a person who has specialized in watching cis women for most of my adult life as a trans woman and before.

"Cinnamon" from Cin City

As it turns out, Cincinnati has it's own group of burlesque artists called the "Cin City Burlesque" and they are having a show on the 20th and Liz and I are going!

I am old enough to remember the very end of the classic old style burlesque acts we used to go "slumming" in college and see in places like Dayton and Toledo, Ohio. These shows came complete with a vaudeville style comedian.

The show I missed which was somewhat similar was in a lesbian bar years later in which I was cross dressed. Two strippers were eagerly awaited by the crowd. Unfortunately, I had to leave before they showed up, as I am sure it would have been entertaining!

For this show as a transgender woman, I think I am going to get a little dressed up and weather permitting, wear my long black skirt with the deep slit up the side with a black tank top.

Should be a great time!!!!

Spring - Un Sprung?

Typically, this time of year is when Momma Nature teases us around here with spring time weather one week with tender new flower blooms and just as suddenly tosses in a few cold rainy days reminiscent of fall weather. Both of which put strains on which wardrobe to wear. Of course, I had put most of my fall and winter wear away after the summer like weather last week.

At any rate, my fave grocery store shopping is to shop the butcher/seafood shops for fresh specials. Cincinnati does have a long running permanent farmers market but it is too far to be practical for me to get to. So, today I threw on a soft form fitting long sleeve top I have with a pair of boyfriend jeans and headed to the store.

Of course, I had to treat myself to a coffee from the store's coffee shop before I started to shop! And, I was treated back with "Thank you Mam'" in return which made the frappacino taste so much better! Then I decided to see if I could find some fresh wild caught seafood on sale and did. (No, not from the Ohio River :)

Again the clerk was pleasant and thanked me nicely.

I often wonder what life would have been like if I could have enjoyed an existence such as this earlier. Better late than never I guess!

Being a transgender woman in the world never felt so good and so completely natural. Whe would have ever "thunk" it?

Not me.

Trans Ohio Part III

First of all I understood the demographics this year were a little different. The 9th Trans Ohio Symposium drew over 250 plus attendees this year which was a record and could create the need for more space in the already huge The Ohio State University student union.

The attendee's seemed to be a bit more diverse this year. Not too young, not too old (like me) and quite a few middle age folks and couples. But a nice contingent of youthful attendees enjoying the safe space I assume.

Clothing wise, most dressed in comfortable attire (jeans or slacks) with the occasional dress mixed in. I must point out though, the weather was terrible with tons of rain and a huge marathon which basically ran past the front of the campus main drag (no pun intended.)  So, heels and hose would have been tough to pull off.

Racially, per norm, the audience was overwhelmingly white.

Sure, there were some fashion mistakes, but I thought from my basically conservative perspective that this was the best year yet. I enjoyed the fact there were a number of quests that I couldn't tell were transgender or ally's.

In fact, I thought this whole year was the best I have attended out of four and I know from my back ground how much work it took to put it on.

All I can say is Wow! and thanks to the organizers!

Trans Ohio Part II

It's interesting to me that looking back on the Trans Ohio Symposium, workshop wise, I basically only remember the poor presentations except for one (by a transgender man) on positive and negative attitudes as you transition.

Being a history degree holder in college, I should have known better than to even try to go to the "Trans History" presentation as most history professors obtained their degrees by excelling in making paint dry. (That interesting!) I envisioned the person who lectured us as one of those undergraduate profs at The Ohio State University who teach (?) those huge courses with a microphone and "Power Point" screen.

Oh well, another hour out of my life I won't get back. Connie, though had a thought for next year:

"It sounds as though you need to think about filling the trans history slot for next year's symposium. You are, after all, both a historian and a transgender woman. I've thought about doing something like that, but I'm afraid I'd come across more as an "add junk" professor (it wouldn't be boring, anyway:-)"

Liz and I have been talking about coming up wit a more interactive workshop. Hopefully expanding on the participants knowledge in the room and calling it something like "It's been a Dark Closet, A Half Century of Transition."

Thanks Connie, I too can add my share of junk :).

I am thinking too of taking this all a step further and volunteering to help with the whole symposium after I found out how active Trans Ohio has been on the state wide scene. But we will have to see on that as there already is a representative from the Cincinnati area.

One way or another, the call for presenters for next year's event is only about six to eight months away, which will slip by before I know it!