Nobody is Quitting

We received plenty of feedback here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning our post called "Could You Quit?"

It's always fun to let the readers do the writing:

1. joanna SantosSeptember 16, 2019 at 12:46 PM

   you cannot quit being yourself which is why its unlikely you could only be yourself a few times a month. I know I couldn't..

   
   
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3. 
   ConnieSeptember 16, 2019 at 2:57 PM

   The transgender umbrella is large, and seems to be growing. Yes, the truth is that some of us just cannot live a compartmentalized life - being at different places on the gender spectrum as the situation or desire may dictate. The one thing we all have in common, I suppose, is that we all have a gender identity different from the binary norm that has one's gender identity and assigned-at-birth gender in congruence. There's something more to it than the intensity of dysphoria, but I believe that may well be a large factor. I know that my dysphoria could not be tempered through cross dressing alone. Cross dressing, for me, was a means toward an end, giving me the confidence and self awareness of who I really am - and needed to be every minute of every day. That doesn't make me better than one who is satisfied to express their gender identity with more plasticity, whether that be through cross dressing, non-binary identification, or a drag act. It does, however, make me different.
   
   As someone once said, when you meet a trans person, you can only say that you've met just one trans person. Of course, the emphasis should be on person, and not trans. I think that most of us would prefer we be taken for who we are, and not what we are. I may have a personal moral objection to someone who is fetish-oriented and predatory, but I shouldn't care whether they are also trans....except that my insecurities may cause me to be somewhat ashamed that I am under the same umbrella. What I think of such a person is really none of my business, though, and I can only do my best to show others who I am (a good person, I think, who happens to be trans). I can't be worrying about others, especially having had lived most of my life worrying about how others would see me (as a trans woman). As my mom used to tell me, pick your friends, but leave your nose alone - unless you happen to have a long nose hair protruding from it - in which case you may make more friends if you removed it. :-)

   
   
4. 
   Shannyn ElysseSeptember 16, 2019 at 7:43 PM

   It's truly a fine line that we walk when we post our thoughts and feelings online. I don't get much feedback on my little blog, https://shannyncomesalive.blogspot.com , so I often wonder why that is the case. Many people that run across it may not agree with me at all, or think I'm just boring, or whatever.
   
   I know what you mean about being thought of as looking down on someone who "just crossdresses". I am still mostly in the closet, as are most of my online friends, who help keep me sane. And it's so hard to know what the correct label is for ourselves, but the point is that labels only help to an extent. They can easily divide more than unite. I truly believe I'm a trans woman, but to others, maybe I'm not. Regardless, I'm just me. Intent in writing is so difficult to discern online. I'd always request someone ask me to clarify if they think I'm putting someone or something down, before reacting negatively. It's a fine line.

   
   
5. 
   FranGurlSeptember 16, 2019 at 11:08 PM

   Quit what? Presenting as a woman?...No way! Such a pretty lady!

   
   

OutServe Magazine

Of course I'm biased towards any info concerning transgender vets in this country and anywhere. Outserve Magazine 
recently added Brynn Tannehill as a contributor.


 

Brynn Tannehill is a 1997 U.S. Naval Academy graduate, former Lieutenant Commander helicopter pilot, and a fully transitioned transgender woman. She has a wife and two loving children.

She just posted a very enlightened look into her visit to this summer's Columbus, Ohio's Pride visit. (In my part of the world). Here's an excerpt in which she very adeptly covers many segments of the transgender community and the "Holy Grail" of presenting as a female (in this instance).

" I didn’t come to pride events until I finished
transitioning and felt I had some ability to blend. Even at a pride
event, I didn’t want the trans label by not passing. After two years
of hormones, three years of electrolysis, and $35,000 worth of surgery
I thought I could avoid most stereotypes and blend in. Only then did I
feel comfortable going to my first pride event this year in Columbus,
Ohio.

I didn’t know what to expect. Most of the people seemed very ordinary.
The drunken frat boys overindulging at the beer trucks weren’t very
novel. The small but memorable assorted mix of people making a point
by being over the top either by the clothes they wore, or what they
chose not to, stood out. Some of them were very visibly under the
transgender umbrella as drag queens, female impersonators, or cross
dressers. Others were making a point of being overtly gay or lesbian.
Again, not unexpected. I wasn’t sure how I would explain to my kids
about the folks who looked like extras from “Avatar”: well toned,
wearing almost nothing, and brilliant blue from head to toe, though.

What did come as a surprise was what a surprise I was. When I
introduced myself to an online friend with the HRC in person for the
first time she exclaimed “Oh, wow, somehow I thought you were taller!”
At the OutServe booth I had to mention that I was trans before anyone
caught on why I would be writing for the magazine without being in the
military anymore. Same deal with the National Organization of Gay and
Lesbian Scientists and Technical Professionals. When I asked if
transgender people were part of their charter, the woman at the booth
replied “Why, do you have transgender friends?”

Everywhere I turned, I passed.  The fact that I didn’t look like all
the other visibly trans people at Columbus pride really did challenge
their notions of what trans is. Both of these gave me a bit of a warm
and fuzzy. What made it even better was the extremely positive
response I got from some of the younger people I met who found out I
was trans. As one 20-ish woman put it, “You’re trans? Really!? I’d
never guess. That so totally rocks.”

While these experiences were self affirming, they were also
instructional. It is only the outlandish examples that people
perceive. You notice the people trying to stand out, not the ones
trying to blend. I hear it so often that “I’ve never met a trans
person”, or “I don’t know anyone who really looked like <their target
gender>.”

Follow the link for more!

Returning to Door Number 3

A couple days ago I posted an article loosely based on the concept of a transgender umbrella called "Behind Door Number 3". I directed all the heavy lifting on this topic to Sherri Lynne.
In the meantime, fellow reader Cerise Richards did some heavy lifting of her own on the topic.
Here's an excerpt:
"Good Morning and Happy Father's day to all TGs who have fathered children. You have produced sperm, inseminated a female who gave you a child (ren) and that makes you a biological male. But I have "Gender on My Mind" today, since Sherri has questioned whether TSs are part of the Transgender Spectrum of Humanity or are they beyond, a result of an "unknown genetic defect" (HBS). Considering we are all human and come with infinite variations of our DNA so that we are all unique. Not even identical twins have identical DNA. We must first appreciate our diversity. Do you know that there are over 300 different mutations of the InterSex condition, Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome and they are all WOMEN in body and spirit, but not female?

For more of her thoughts please go here.

I will add the same message I sent Cerise concerning Sherri Lynne.
Since Sherri is a professional in our field, I consider any feedback I am fortunate enough to receive from her similar to free legal advice.
I'm sure she is the first to expect not everyone agrees with her and I certainly would be the last person to speak for her!