Showing posts with label David Bowie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label David Bowie. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Changes and Trans Life

David Bowie and Changes

One of the only constants of life is change. From the day we are born until the day we die, changes are part of our life.

I am biased but I think all transgender women and/or trans men receive more than our fair share of change. Depending where your age may be in the spectrum of life and how long you are able to live, you may have to bring more baggage with you when and if you decide to take the huge step and decide to complete a transgender transition. 

In addition to the "Three F's" or family, friends and finances, there are other baggage items to consider. Such as how did you fill your time when you weren't working for instance. In my case, I was a huge sports fanatic and wasn't sure if my passion would survive as a trans woman. I was left in even more doubt when I began to not appreciate my time going to so called safe gay venues. For the most part, I didn't like the people, the music or being treated like I was an out of place drag queen. What ended up happening was, I went where I was comfortable as my male self. Venues where I could watch sports on huge televisions with beer to match. I figured if I was going to be made uncomfortable, I might as well use the change to try for better.

Most importantly, I found other women (Cis, not trans) who shared my passions for sports and gave us a reason to socialize. The whole process opened up the rest of my world to more changes. By this time, I felt as if I was right in the middle of the David Bowie song "Changes." When I looked around at all my middle aged friends stuck in ruts of life, I felt so liberated to be where I was although at times I was petrified of exactly what the future may hold when I transitioned into a fulltime womanhood. 

Little did I know, the biggest life changes were still ahead when I decided to throw caution to the wind and pursue beginning gender affirming hormones. In addition to the obvious bodily changes such as breasts, skin and hair growth, I also found myself reacting to yet another puberty experience in life. The first time I experienced a major hot flash still is a vivid memory when I think back to wondering if I was internally combusting. In addition, hot flashes and the hormones led to me all of a sudden being more emotional. As the world around me softened, I became more in tune with temperature changes and smells. It was my own special world and I loved it.

Looking back at the whole process of gender changes I went through, even though I knew deep down I never really had a choice, I cherish most of my life as it turned out. At the least, I was never bored and was always challenged to do better. First as a cross dresser and later as a transgender woman. I found the path was less traveled but when I discovered a fellow traveler, the meeting was normally positive. 

I also had privilege of living through the birth of the internet era, which in turn started the explosion of social media. Which brought the LGBTQ+ community together. All of a sudden it was easier to bring a little light into previously dark gender closets. 

Change is similar to a roller coaster ride. You can only hope the ride up is worth the ride down.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Cyrsti's Condo "The Sound Track" Fades

In rapid fire this week we have lost David Bowie and Glenn Frey to death. Frey of course was with the Eagles.

I see more than a little humor when the news stories say Bowie died early at 69 and Frey at 67 - hell at 66 I have years to go...I thought?

Of course my particular age of Baby Boomers felt the sting of death with the Kennedy's, Martin Luther King, Jim Morrison, Joplin and Hendrix all suffering an early death at the hands of others or by their own hands.

I wonder if you could ask any of the musicians in particular if they would quote the "Indy" Jone's comment about their life, :"It's not the years-it's the mileage."

I began to feel that way when I celebrated the "double nickles" (55). I had spent nearly all of my life running from my gender issues on top of a pesky bi-polar deal.

Through it all though, I was able to do some heavy duty playing along with the running and working to glue a life together with mirrors.

Perhaps when I miss a Bowie or Frey, the hurt is a bit deeper for me. The soundtrack meant a lot.

So much so, I have picked a tune for when and if I am fortunate enough to leave this existence in peace- "Call Me the Breeze" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Read the lyrics and you will understand and if you have ever heard it-turn it up REAL loud and listen for the keyboards!

Monday, January 11, 2016

R.I.P. David Bowie

As you have undoubtedly heard by now, David Bowie passed this Sunday. Many of us in and out of the LGBTQ community thought of him as a glam rocker-gender fluid music pioneer-which he was.

To others though, Bowie meant so much more. It was too easy to dismiss him as crossdressing glam rocker to explain my feelings.

For me though Bowie was soooo much more. He was a beacon of "gender fluid" hope for us (not unlike Andy Warhol.) in an age devoid of it.

And then, there was the music!



I will leave you with this: (My own take on Bowie's  Space Oddity Cut'  "Ground Control to Major David, take your place in the heavens and thanks!!!

Ditching Good with Better as a Trans Girl

  Archive Image from Witches Ball Tom on Left. Ditching good with better has always been a difficult obstacle in my life.  I always blame my...