In response to the Cyrsti's Condo post concerning class reunions and similar events (I suppose anything requiring you to see people who knew you before your transition.) I received this comment from Connie:
"My high school 50th reunion is taking place as I write this...at home. I only attended the school my senior year, and I didn't really get to know many of my classmates. If I had attended a reunion, it would have been for the school I had gone to before - in another town that I grew up in. Compared to the school I graduated from, with a class of over 600, the other had only 220. I knew almost everybody there, and a coming out, I thought, surely would have had more impact. Their reunion was last week, and, as it turned out, I would have been only one of seven who were in attendance.
Since I didn't waste time and money traveling back to my old school last week, it doesn't make me feel that I'm missing anything tonight, either. In fact, the best reason for not going is that the one high school friend with whom I had kept in touch (and who knows of my transition) sent a text to me a couple of weeks ago that read: "Hey (dead name), lookin' forward to seeing you at the reunion." I can't imagine subjecting myself to the possibility of something like that 600 times over.
But you wanted an enjoyable story. Well, instead of going out tonight, I stayed home to baby sit my 21-month-old granddaughter. She'll always love me for who I am, because she'll only ever know me as that. This is so much more enjoyable!"
What a great way to get a new generation started right!
Monday, September 30, 2019
Saturday, September 28, 2019
Reunited?
Going back to the Cyrsti's Condo post concerning levels of acceptance about how much you tell to who concerning your transition, Marcia had this comment:
"My fraternity brothers, all of whom made the trip with me through transition, are now my "college friends." :)"
Wow! Congratulations ! I would be interested to know how it happened Marcia. I can only guess you may have gone to some sort of reunion? As Connie pointed out, it certainly was not a Greek tragedy :).
Reunions are quite the topic.
To go or not to go usually results in extensive angst.
I'm old and I just passed my 50th high school reunion two years ago. Actually I didn't pass the reunion, because I didn't go. I just didn't feel comfortable going because in high school I wasn't close to many people anyhow. I felt I would just be a distraction and had nothing to prove anyway. One of the reasons I admire those who do step out and go to reunions.
If you have an enjoyable reunion story, I am sure all of us would love to hear it.
"My fraternity brothers, all of whom made the trip with me through transition, are now my "college friends." :)"
Wow! Congratulations ! I would be interested to know how it happened Marcia. I can only guess you may have gone to some sort of reunion? As Connie pointed out, it certainly was not a Greek tragedy :).
Reunions are quite the topic.
To go or not to go usually results in extensive angst.
I'm old and I just passed my 50th high school reunion two years ago. Actually I didn't pass the reunion, because I didn't go. I just didn't feel comfortable going because in high school I wasn't close to many people anyhow. I felt I would just be a distraction and had nothing to prove anyway. One of the reasons I admire those who do step out and go to reunions.
If you have an enjoyable reunion story, I am sure all of us would love to hear it.
Friday, September 27, 2019
Thursday, September 26, 2019
Ohio Takes Another Baby Step Forward
Finally, Ohio has taken another step to join the rest of the country and allow genders on birth certificates to be changed. By the way, I live in Ohio and my birth certificate is my only remaining form of identification which doesn't state I am female.
Here is the story from the "Associated Press":
However to my knowledge many different versions of these changes exist. For example, I don't know that when and if Ohio's changes take place, will a person have to go through genital realignment surgery to be able to change their birth certificate or offer proof they are living as their chosen gender.
That point is of importance to me because I have not had, nor do I plan on having any surgery.
A federal lawsuit challenging Tennessee’s rule was filed in April. Kansas ended a federal lawsuit there in June, when Democratic Gov. Laura Kelly struck a deal by agreeing to allow gender identity changes on Kansas birth certificates.
Here is the story from the "Associated Press":
"Four transgender people challenging an Ohio rule preventing people from changing the gender listings on their birth certificates have won their day in court.
U.S. District Court Judge Michael Watson denied the state’s request that the lawsuit filed by the ACLU, Lambda Legal and the ACLU of Ohio be dismissed.
The lawsuit contends the birth certificate rule imposed by the state Department of Health and the Office of Vital Statistics is unconstitutional."
Ohio and Tennessee are the two remaining states not allowing any sort of birth certificate changes.However to my knowledge many different versions of these changes exist. For example, I don't know that when and if Ohio's changes take place, will a person have to go through genital realignment surgery to be able to change their birth certificate or offer proof they are living as their chosen gender.
That point is of importance to me because I have not had, nor do I plan on having any surgery.
A federal lawsuit challenging Tennessee’s rule was filed in April. Kansas ended a federal lawsuit there in June, when Democratic Gov. Laura Kelly struck a deal by agreeing to allow gender identity changes on Kansas birth certificates.
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
Tiers of Acceptance
I received a couple of thought provoking comments concerning my Cyrsti's Condo post about outing myself when I talk about my military past.
The first came from Paula:
"Yes, it's very easy to out ourselves by accident, I have had to be careful how I refer to much of my past, I now make sure that I was a "child" and a "Chorister" I played "Sport" and yes my wife often become my "partner" or my "ex", I have to make sure that I am a "tradesperson" and a "parent"; sometimes it can get quite tiring."
Connie also added:
"Even mentioning to someone, " After all, I met my wife in Germany and she became the Mother of my only daughter" pretty much outs you.
Although I have no actual war stories to tell, there is so much from my past life that I have to think twice about before discussing any of it with others. My wife has been changed to "my partner," and then I must be careful when I mention that we're still together, married now for 47 years. That's something for which I take great pride (though most of the credit goes to her), but I have often had to bite my tongue to keep from sharing that information. Still, I am surprised by the number of people who just assume that I am married to a man, and that I am a mother to my daughters and a grandmother to my grandchildren. I never correct anyone for those assumptions right away, but the further I might go into our past, the more apt I am to have to explain things.
Can I tell you the story of how I won the football game on the last play by ripping the ball from the quarterback's hands and running it back for a touchdown? No, I guess not; that story has not been in my repertoire for years. Oh, welll"
Thanks to both of you for the comments!
As I wrote I judge how much I tell a person on how they are reacting to me. Plus I rarely have the chance to interact with total strangers. At that time, I only mention now I have a partner of eight years and a daughter with three kids.
I don't think it is any of their business that I did meet my first wife in Germany when she was in the Army too and she was the mother of my child.
Then, if I leave out the twenty five year relationship with my second wife, I am caught up with my life. If I am chronically doing it relationship wise.
Again, it goes back to who I am talking to and placing them on a tiered "need to know" basis.
Ironically, if I mention which war I was part of (Vietnam), it does more to out my age than anything else.
The first came from Paula:
"Yes, it's very easy to out ourselves by accident, I have had to be careful how I refer to much of my past, I now make sure that I was a "child" and a "Chorister" I played "Sport" and yes my wife often become my "partner" or my "ex", I have to make sure that I am a "tradesperson" and a "parent"; sometimes it can get quite tiring."
Connie also added:
"Even mentioning to someone, " After all, I met my wife in Germany and she became the Mother of my only daughter" pretty much outs you.
Although I have no actual war stories to tell, there is so much from my past life that I have to think twice about before discussing any of it with others. My wife has been changed to "my partner," and then I must be careful when I mention that we're still together, married now for 47 years. That's something for which I take great pride (though most of the credit goes to her), but I have often had to bite my tongue to keep from sharing that information. Still, I am surprised by the number of people who just assume that I am married to a man, and that I am a mother to my daughters and a grandmother to my grandchildren. I never correct anyone for those assumptions right away, but the further I might go into our past, the more apt I am to have to explain things.
Can I tell you the story of how I won the football game on the last play by ripping the ball from the quarterback's hands and running it back for a touchdown? No, I guess not; that story has not been in my repertoire for years. Oh, welll"
Thanks to both of you for the comments!
As I wrote I judge how much I tell a person on how they are reacting to me. Plus I rarely have the chance to interact with total strangers. At that time, I only mention now I have a partner of eight years and a daughter with three kids.
I don't think it is any of their business that I did meet my first wife in Germany when she was in the Army too and she was the mother of my child.
Then, if I leave out the twenty five year relationship with my second wife, I am caught up with my life. If I am chronically doing it relationship wise.
Again, it goes back to who I am talking to and placing them on a tiered "need to know" basis.
Ironically, if I mention which war I was part of (Vietnam), it does more to out my age than anything else.
Monday, September 23, 2019
Emmy News
For once, thanks to Laverne Cox and Indya Moore, transgender women received quite a bit of positive publicity at this years Emmy awards.
Check out Laverne's clutch she carried on the purple carpet!
Check out Laverne's clutch she carried on the purple carpet!
Cox was nominated for the Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama Series category for the final season of Orange is the New Black. After receiving three nominations for her performance on the Netflix series, Cox has said she is more than ready to become the first transgender actress to take home an Emmy. But on the purple carpet she decided to say something else.
Cox wore a tiered Monsoori gown, complete with a shoulder ruffle, as well as a full, lilac skirt. But what was more powerful was what she brought with her: an acrylic clutch as well as her guest, lawyer and activist Chase Strangio.
Transgender actress Indya Moore also sizzled on the runway.
Moore stars as Angel on FX’s Pose, which boasts television’s largest cast of trans actors in series regular roles and the largest LGBTQ+ cast for such scripted shows. The series was a contender for six awards , including Outstanding Drama Series, in addition to Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series for Billy Porter.
Sunday, September 22, 2019
Back in the Day
I have always had problems with veterans who seemingly hit the peak of their lives during their time in the service.
Even though I have been fortunate enough to live a very full life, last night I found myself in the same spot.
Liz and I joined a mixture of cross dressers and a few transgender friends at a local steakhouse for dinner. Towards the end of the evening, the topic of traveling came up. Along the way, I mentioned to one of the cis-women I lived in Thailand for a year and was able to travel through three continents in three years when I was in the Army...Southeast Asia, Europe and North America (of course.) She was fascinated and didn't really question the why's and when's of why I was there.
At that point I began to feel guilty of acting like that period of my life was the highlight.
As I began to think about it though, it may have been. After all, I met my wife in Germany and she became the Mother of my only daughter. And, since I utilize the Veteran's Administration for my health care, including my gender transition meds, I have to include it too.
Either you could say my time in the service turned out to be one of the unexpected highlights of my life, or I made the best of a potentially very bad situation...serving directly in the Vietnam War.
However, unless I automatically want to out myself, I have to be careful about how I talk about my Army service. I have a tendency to tell the truth and say I was drafted. Of course then and now, women have not been drafted into the military. So I have concocted a story which is semi true, I worked as a contractor for the Army, since I worked for the Air Force for part of my enlistment.
It seems to work.
Even though I have been fortunate enough to live a very full life, last night I found myself in the same spot.
Liz and I joined a mixture of cross dressers and a few transgender friends at a local steakhouse for dinner. Towards the end of the evening, the topic of traveling came up. Along the way, I mentioned to one of the cis-women I lived in Thailand for a year and was able to travel through three continents in three years when I was in the Army...Southeast Asia, Europe and North America (of course.) She was fascinated and didn't really question the why's and when's of why I was there.
At that point I began to feel guilty of acting like that period of my life was the highlight.
As I began to think about it though, it may have been. After all, I met my wife in Germany and she became the Mother of my only daughter. And, since I utilize the Veteran's Administration for my health care, including my gender transition meds, I have to include it too.
Either you could say my time in the service turned out to be one of the unexpected highlights of my life, or I made the best of a potentially very bad situation...serving directly in the Vietnam War.
However, unless I automatically want to out myself, I have to be careful about how I talk about my Army service. I have a tendency to tell the truth and say I was drafted. Of course then and now, women have not been drafted into the military. So I have concocted a story which is semi true, I worked as a contractor for the Army, since I worked for the Air Force for part of my enlistment.
It seems to work.
Saturday, September 21, 2019
Das Boot
Yes, I am still wearing this damn walking boot. At certain points in time it seems as natural as being transgender. At other times, as unnatural as being trans is.
While I know (after so many years) I have always been gender dysphoric, it is sad I have taken this long to come to terms with it. So, how did I?
Unfortunately, I don't have any magical formula. Everyone is on their own discovering their gender boundaries...or should I say, their personal gender compass.
As so called science is coming to terms with the differences in the human binary concerning sexuality and gender, I am a believer in yet another binary. The one which involves the so called transgender umbrella. Some of us opt to be part time cross dressers, others decide to go all the way through sexual realignment surgery. Ultimately, we are all related in a very complex, difficult process.
The problem is dealing with feuding under the umbrella. Who gets wet and who stays dry. Seemingly, too much of the male ego bleeds through, leading to pushing and shoving for room.
Again, I wish I had an magical answer for all of this too. An example was the other night when I met another two people going to the ill-fated Transgender Day of Remembrance meeting which never happened. I innocently introduced myself, received a nice return from one of the people. But of course the obviously transgender person, had a tough time revealing her name. I have no idea why she was being that way. Unless we had met before and I did something she didn't particularly like. Oh well!
These days I am concentrating on not aggravating people. So that means being secure in my little space under the transgender umbrella.
Hopefully, the boot is on it's way out so I won't take up so much room!
While I know (after so many years) I have always been gender dysphoric, it is sad I have taken this long to come to terms with it. So, how did I?
Unfortunately, I don't have any magical formula. Everyone is on their own discovering their gender boundaries...or should I say, their personal gender compass.
As so called science is coming to terms with the differences in the human binary concerning sexuality and gender, I am a believer in yet another binary. The one which involves the so called transgender umbrella. Some of us opt to be part time cross dressers, others decide to go all the way through sexual realignment surgery. Ultimately, we are all related in a very complex, difficult process.
The problem is dealing with feuding under the umbrella. Who gets wet and who stays dry. Seemingly, too much of the male ego bleeds through, leading to pushing and shoving for room.
Again, I wish I had an magical answer for all of this too. An example was the other night when I met another two people going to the ill-fated Transgender Day of Remembrance meeting which never happened. I innocently introduced myself, received a nice return from one of the people. But of course the obviously transgender person, had a tough time revealing her name. I have no idea why she was being that way. Unless we had met before and I did something she didn't particularly like. Oh well!
These days I am concentrating on not aggravating people. So that means being secure in my little space under the transgender umbrella.
Hopefully, the boot is on it's way out so I won't take up so much room!
Friday, September 20, 2019
Carmen Carrera
Every once in a while, I see a post concerning a LGBTQ transgender person I hadn't heard from in what seems like forever. This time it was Carmen Carrera.
It turns out Carrera is speaking at the "Transgender Unity Banquet" this September in rain soaked Houston.
As you may remember,
After launching her career on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Carrera became a high-profile trans model, actress, performer, and advocate for LGBTQ and human rights issues. She recently partnered with Christina Aguilera to perform at Radio City Music Hall and hosted events at the Sundance Film Festival for AT&T and at NYC Fashion Week for Fashion News Live on Amazon Prime.
I thought you may enjoy a rainbow inspired picture of Carmen to brighten up your day.
It turns out Carrera is speaking at the "Transgender Unity Banquet" this September in rain soaked Houston.
As you may remember,After launching her career on RuPaul’s Drag Race, Carrera became a high-profile trans model, actress, performer, and advocate for LGBTQ and human rights issues. She recently partnered with Christina Aguilera to perform at Radio City Music Hall and hosted events at the Sundance Film Festival for AT&T and at NYC Fashion Week for Fashion News Live on Amazon Prime.
I thought you may enjoy a rainbow inspired picture of Carmen to brighten up your day.
Thursday, September 19, 2019
Amira
Different people celebrate going through the act of a sex realignment surgery in different ways.
One of more dramatic celebrations recently came from Blantyre’s Amira Nadeem who celebrated her first year as a woman by appearing naked on national television.
One of more dramatic celebrations recently came from Blantyre’s Amira Nadeem who celebrated her first year as a woman by appearing naked on national television.
The 21-year-old starred in Channel 4’s dating show Naked Attraction tonight, where hopeful singletons choose a date from six people, based solely on the power of naked attraction.
Amira decided to show off the body she had longed for and said: “One night I was sitting watching TV eating chips and cheese, and it just came to me. I decided to go for it.
“After going through my sex-change operation, I felt proud and wanted to show myself to the world.
“I wanted to encourage more people like me who have been through what I’ve been through to come out and be themselves.”
Definitely, a dramatic way to do it!
Wednesday, September 18, 2019
Coming Up
Another fairly busy week is shaping up.
Tonight I have to find a downtown coffee shop for a Transgender Day of Remembrance event coming up in November. I have agreed to sit on the planning committee. If I can find the place and secure a close by parking place I will feel I am lucky, as I am still wearing this damn walking boot.
Thursday, is another social event for the Crossport transgender - crossdresser support group I am part of. We are trying out a new place, which is always exciting. With the weather the way it is (warm) I may decide to wear one of my long summer sleeveless maxi dresses. It will be very stylish with my boot! :)
Saturday is another The Ohio State University game to watch, it's the last "tune-up" game before tangling with Nebraska next week. After the football game, Liz and I are supposed to meet a few other friends for dinner.
Of course, none of this includes the regular weekend errands we have to do. So I am sure something else will come up to do.
Tonight I have to find a downtown coffee shop for a Transgender Day of Remembrance event coming up in November. I have agreed to sit on the planning committee. If I can find the place and secure a close by parking place I will feel I am lucky, as I am still wearing this damn walking boot.
Thursday, is another social event for the Crossport transgender - crossdresser support group I am part of. We are trying out a new place, which is always exciting. With the weather the way it is (warm) I may decide to wear one of my long summer sleeveless maxi dresses. It will be very stylish with my boot! :)
Saturday is another The Ohio State University game to watch, it's the last "tune-up" game before tangling with Nebraska next week. After the football game, Liz and I are supposed to meet a few other friends for dinner.
Of course, none of this includes the regular weekend errands we have to do. So I am sure something else will come up to do.
Tuesday, September 17, 2019
Nobody is Quitting
We received plenty of feedback here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning our post called "Could You Quit?"
It's always fun to let the readers do the writing:
It's always fun to let the readers do the writing:
- joanna SantosSeptember 16, 2019 at 12:46 PMyou cannot quit being yourself which is why its unlikely you could only be yourself a few times a month. I know I couldn't..
The transgender umbrella is large, and seems to be growing. Yes, the truth is that some of us just cannot live a compartmentalized life - being at different places on the gender spectrum as the situation or desire may dictate. The one thing we all have in common, I suppose, is that we all have a gender identity different from the binary norm that has one's gender identity and assigned-at-birth gender in congruence. There's something more to it than the intensity of dysphoria, but I believe that may well be a large factor. I know that my dysphoria could not be tempered through cross dressing alone. Cross dressing, for me, was a means toward an end, giving me the confidence and self awareness of who I really am - and needed to be every minute of every day. That doesn't make me better than one who is satisfied to express their gender identity with more plasticity, whether that be through cross dressing, non-binary identification, or a drag act. It does, however, make me different.
As someone once said, when you meet a trans person, you can only say that you've met just one trans person. Of course, the emphasis should be on person, and not trans. I think that most of us would prefer we be taken for who we are, and not what we are. I may have a personal moral objection to someone who is fetish-oriented and predatory, but I shouldn't care whether they are also trans....except that my insecurities may cause me to be somewhat ashamed that I am under the same umbrella. What I think of such a person is really none of my business, though, and I can only do my best to show others who I am (a good person, I think, who happens to be trans). I can't be worrying about others, especially having had lived most of my life worrying about how others would see me (as a trans woman). As my mom used to tell me, pick your friends, but leave your nose alone - unless you happen to have a long nose hair protruding from it - in which case you may make more friends if you removed it. :-)
It's truly a fine line that we walk when we post our thoughts and feelings online. I don't get much feedback on my little blog, https://shannyncomesalive.blogspot.com , so I often wonder why that is the case. Many people that run across it may not agree with me at all, or think I'm just boring, or whatever.
I know what you mean about being thought of as looking down on someone who "just crossdresses". I am still mostly in the closet, as are most of my online friends, who help keep me sane. And it's so hard to know what the correct label is for ourselves, but the point is that labels only help to an extent. They can easily divide more than unite. I truly believe I'm a trans woman, but to others, maybe I'm not. Regardless, I'm just me. Intent in writing is so difficult to discern online. I'd always request someone ask me to clarify if they think I'm putting someone or something down, before reacting negatively. It's a fine line.
Quit what? Presenting as a woman?...No way! Such a pretty lady!
Monday, September 16, 2019
Could You Just Quit?
After getting flat out smoked by several cross dressers about my comments about a fetish orientated predatory CD a couple weeks ago, I have a tendency to be a little more careful on what I say. or write.
What I said was misconstrued to mean I was better than them because I am transgender, which is so far from the truth. The truth is, I can't do what cross dressers do and just dress up a couple days a week. It nearly killed me.
All of this brings up a question from a comment I received from Connie, could you give up your cross dressing?
" A few months after I had ventured out of the closet, I attended a fancy cross dresser event. The "Grand Dame" of the group had taken a prominent seat, and her attendants were bringing food and drink to her. I noticed her obvious limp when she got up and headed for the ladies room (in her heels). I asked her, later, what was wrong. She told me that she had developed a foot problem, and that the doctor had told her she'd have to give up wearing heels altogether. So, she told me, this was going to be her final outing - because it would be no fun if she couldn't wear high heels. Although I was pretty sure, even at that time, that I was not a cross dresser, I knew enough that she would not be able to quit cross dressing*. I told her that, but she was adamant that decades of cross dressing was now coming to an end - just because she couldn't wear her heels. I think she may also have had a shoe fetish, but it was unbelievable to me that one could give up such a large part of their life for something as small as a pair of shoes. All the time I was talking with her, by the way, I was distracted by her nose hair that was curling up from her nostril at least an inch. Now, that may well be reason enough to give up trying to present oneself as a lady - not to mention a Grand Dame!
This was just one of the "I know I'm not a cross dresser if..." I added to my list, in preparation for my impending transition. No, I would not be happy if I had to wear a boot, or even have to give up wearing heels, but it would not change who I am. Whether it be from an old football injury or from wearing very high heels too often, there's no need to put oneself on injured reserve when you know this trans life is not merely a game.
*I heard later, after I had left the group, that the Grand Dame had made a reappearance - hobbling in her heels."
What I said was misconstrued to mean I was better than them because I am transgender, which is so far from the truth. The truth is, I can't do what cross dressers do and just dress up a couple days a week. It nearly killed me.
All of this brings up a question from a comment I received from Connie, could you give up your cross dressing?
" A few months after I had ventured out of the closet, I attended a fancy cross dresser event. The "Grand Dame" of the group had taken a prominent seat, and her attendants were bringing food and drink to her. I noticed her obvious limp when she got up and headed for the ladies room (in her heels). I asked her, later, what was wrong. She told me that she had developed a foot problem, and that the doctor had told her she'd have to give up wearing heels altogether. So, she told me, this was going to be her final outing - because it would be no fun if she couldn't wear high heels. Although I was pretty sure, even at that time, that I was not a cross dresser, I knew enough that she would not be able to quit cross dressing*. I told her that, but she was adamant that decades of cross dressing was now coming to an end - just because she couldn't wear her heels. I think she may also have had a shoe fetish, but it was unbelievable to me that one could give up such a large part of their life for something as small as a pair of shoes. All the time I was talking with her, by the way, I was distracted by her nose hair that was curling up from her nostril at least an inch. Now, that may well be reason enough to give up trying to present oneself as a lady - not to mention a Grand Dame!
This was just one of the "I know I'm not a cross dresser if..." I added to my list, in preparation for my impending transition. No, I would not be happy if I had to wear a boot, or even have to give up wearing heels, but it would not change who I am. Whether it be from an old football injury or from wearing very high heels too often, there's no need to put oneself on injured reserve when you know this trans life is not merely a game.
*I heard later, after I had left the group, that the Grand Dame had made a reappearance - hobbling in her heels."
Thanks for the comment! I know it would be impossible for me to give up my feminine lifestyle.
I assume it would be just as difficult for a cross dresser to quit doing it too. Sort of like the "Grand Dame" and her heels.
Sunday, September 15, 2019
Sunday-Sunday
This weekend has been a return to the abstract called normalcy. Liz and I went back to doing the usual routine on Saturday.
Since The Ohio State Buckeyes played a noon game, the early part of our day was taking four hours to watch the Buckeyes take their football frustrations out on the Indiana Hoosiers.
To make up for all the fun, this week we added a fun trip to our storage shed to look for a few much needed old documents.
From there we went to a couple of stores with me still wearing my boot (for my fractured ankle) which I am very tired of. I am expecting a call from the VA to look at my ankle again this week.
Through all of this, I marvel at the opportunity I have been given to live this transgender life I lead. Looking back, I remember the days when I felt intense pressure just walking into a store as my feminine self.
Now I worry about how my boot will affect how I walk.
Since The Ohio State Buckeyes played a noon game, the early part of our day was taking four hours to watch the Buckeyes take their football frustrations out on the Indiana Hoosiers.
To make up for all the fun, this week we added a fun trip to our storage shed to look for a few much needed old documents.
From there we went to a couple of stores with me still wearing my boot (for my fractured ankle) which I am very tired of. I am expecting a call from the VA to look at my ankle again this week.
Through all of this, I marvel at the opportunity I have been given to live this transgender life I lead. Looking back, I remember the days when I felt intense pressure just walking into a store as my feminine self.
Now I worry about how my boot will affect how I walk.
Friday, September 13, 2019
Flame Monroe
Flame Monroe does not want to be known as a transgender comedian, she wants to be known as a comedian who happens to be transgender.
“Because if I wasn't transgender, I would probably still be a comedian,” she says. “My transgender [identity] is my afterthought because when you introduce me as a ‘transgender comedian’, or a ‘drag queen comedian,’ most people don't hear the ‘comedian’ part. All they hear is ‘transgender’ or ‘drag queen.’
The result is then continued difficulty for her to be treated like any one of her other funny counterparts. But just one look at her standup set and you know she can hang with the big dogs.
Monroe is one of six comedians featured in Tiffany Haddish Presents: They Ready, a collection of half-hour comedy specials executive produced by the Girl’s Trip breakout (and legend Wanda Sykes) now streaming on Netflix. She’s joined by Chaunté Wayans, April Macie, Tracey Ashley, Aida Rodriguez, and Marlo Williams.
For more on the story, follow this link to "Out".
Thursday, September 12, 2019
Belated 9-11
For any number of reasons, I was too busy to post here at Cyrsti's Condo yesterday. I hadn't forgotten the importance of the day.
Because of my work back then, I was running a neighborhood style pub/restaurant and I actually was still home getting ready for work when it happened. I hurriedly finished and headed in.
The whole day was extra eerie as we are within twenty miles of a major air force base and of course the base was under lock down.
At work, the day was extra busy as my quests were tuned into to any news they could get off of one of the five television screens,
I'm sure it is a tragedy I will never forget exactly where I was and what I was doing.
As a nation we should never forget and stand forever vigilant against outside threats.
Because of my work back then, I was running a neighborhood style pub/restaurant and I actually was still home getting ready for work when it happened. I hurriedly finished and headed in.
The whole day was extra eerie as we are within twenty miles of a major air force base and of course the base was under lock down.
At work, the day was extra busy as my quests were tuned into to any news they could get off of one of the five television screens,
I'm sure it is a tragedy I will never forget exactly where I was and what I was doing.
As a nation we should never forget and stand forever vigilant against outside threats.
Tuesday, September 10, 2019
Freedom of Choice?
Two important discussions came up last night in the transgender - cross dresser support group meeting I went to. One of which involved the age old problem of "civilians" thinking trans people or cross dressers have a choice in choosing their gender lifestyle. Obviously, we don't. We don't wake up one day and think "Gee" this will be a great day to change my gender. Arguably one of the tougher things to do as a human being. Not to mention the havoc the change causes to family, friends and work.
To make matters worse, very few of us are "naturals" and have to go through all kinds of contortions to help our exteriors match what our interiors are feeling. I know I am basically speaking to the choir here in Cyrsti's Condo but if I am not, imagine waking up in the morning not knowing which gender you are.
These days though, we are fortunate to be experiencing the rise of the acceptance of "gender fluid" individuals. people are being accepted for being a curious mixture of the two binary genders, plus at the least, claiming gender fluidity gives questioning trans people a niche to go to while they explore where they are going with their lives.
All in all, times are a changing as we begin to explore all the fascinating facets of life humans can explore.
The second discussion which came up last night (by me) was how we know we are making the correct life choice as we begin our transition. Some end at cross dressing, others go all the way through surgery and physically change their gender. Take me for example. My inner gender compass centered up when I started to live full time as a transgender woman. I don't need to risk my body and have any surgeries.
My message last night seemed to resonate with a new attendee who was just starting down their (my assigned pronouns) gender path. They were questioning when they would know which direction they were headed as a cross dresser or beyond. I simply told them to try to feel what your inner compass was telling you but harder yet try to follow it.
I know it is easier said than done in most cases.
To make matters worse, very few of us are "naturals" and have to go through all kinds of contortions to help our exteriors match what our interiors are feeling. I know I am basically speaking to the choir here in Cyrsti's Condo but if I am not, imagine waking up in the morning not knowing which gender you are.
These days though, we are fortunate to be experiencing the rise of the acceptance of "gender fluid" individuals. people are being accepted for being a curious mixture of the two binary genders, plus at the least, claiming gender fluidity gives questioning trans people a niche to go to while they explore where they are going with their lives.
All in all, times are a changing as we begin to explore all the fascinating facets of life humans can explore.
The second discussion which came up last night (by me) was how we know we are making the correct life choice as we begin our transition. Some end at cross dressing, others go all the way through surgery and physically change their gender. Take me for example. My inner gender compass centered up when I started to live full time as a transgender woman. I don't need to risk my body and have any surgeries.
My message last night seemed to resonate with a new attendee who was just starting down their (my assigned pronouns) gender path. They were questioning when they would know which direction they were headed as a cross dresser or beyond. I simply told them to try to feel what your inner compass was telling you but harder yet try to follow it.
I know it is easier said than done in most cases.
Monday, September 9, 2019
Such a Week
It was quite the week. From critical medical tests to getting in trouble for my comment on a certain cross dresser I have known forever, the week seemed to go on and on.. Now I am awaiting results on my pulmonary (lung) tests and an update on my fractured ankle. I can't wait to put this behind me for the time being.
This week is promising to be much more mellow. Assuming the powers to be let me shed my walking boot and my breathing tests come back OK, all I really have to do is go to a cross dresser -transgender support group meeting tonight (Monday) and accompany Liz to her Doctor's appointments on Wednesday.
I can't say I will miss having to be somewhere everyday this week. I leave you with this thought:
This week is promising to be much more mellow. Assuming the powers to be let me shed my walking boot and my breathing tests come back OK, all I really have to do is go to a cross dresser -transgender support group meeting tonight (Monday) and accompany Liz to her Doctor's appointments on Wednesday.
I can't say I will miss having to be somewhere everyday this week. I leave you with this thought:
Saturday, September 7, 2019
Damn Hormones
I haven't written for awhile here in Cyrsti's Condo about my involvement with feminine hormones. To be sure, it's been a rocky affair, with plenty of blind corners and unexpected results.
I guess since my recent brush with discontinuing my hormone replacement therapy all due to health concerns, has brought taking the life altering meds back into focus.
Many people over the years have asked about the process. First of all, most of all the usual changes in skin, breasts, hair etc, started taking effect for me relativity quickly. I would say in the first six months. However, as time passed on, the changes began to slow and all of a sudden, I was looking at 4 plus years on HRT.
Looking back, the biggest change over the years had to be the emotional roller coaster ride I experienced. I think perhaps the emotional ride contributed to extra problems when I was in the middle of negotiating a particular difficult bout of gender dysphoria.
It was during that time I have considered re-evaluating the whole gender process I was going through. Calmer minds prevailed though.
Here's an example of the effect feminine hormones have on me. Yes, I cry but mostly when good things happen (especially during football games when Liz is making fun of me.) Yes, I have my own modest sized breasts which seems to fascinate some people. My skin is softer than it has ever been and am slowly and surely developing hips.
I an truly fortunate to be able to have undertaken this gender adventure health wise.
I guess since my recent brush with discontinuing my hormone replacement therapy all due to health concerns, has brought taking the life altering meds back into focus.
Many people over the years have asked about the process. First of all, most of all the usual changes in skin, breasts, hair etc, started taking effect for me relativity quickly. I would say in the first six months. However, as time passed on, the changes began to slow and all of a sudden, I was looking at 4 plus years on HRT.
Looking back, the biggest change over the years had to be the emotional roller coaster ride I experienced. I think perhaps the emotional ride contributed to extra problems when I was in the middle of negotiating a particular difficult bout of gender dysphoria.
It was during that time I have considered re-evaluating the whole gender process I was going through. Calmer minds prevailed though.
Here's an example of the effect feminine hormones have on me. Yes, I cry but mostly when good things happen (especially during football games when Liz is making fun of me.) Yes, I have my own modest sized breasts which seems to fascinate some people. My skin is softer than it has ever been and am slowly and surely developing hips.
I an truly fortunate to be able to have undertaken this gender adventure health wise.
Friday, September 6, 2019
Blue Skies?
For the first time in weeks, I am starting to feel better.
I am sure it helps that all my critical heart tests are coming back normal. Whatever normal may be for me. Of course I still have pulmonary, colon and the final (I hope) X=ray on my ankle to go.
I also had my two mental check ups the last two days. For once, I needed both of their help. It will be interesting to see if all the survey's and interviews I filled out with the VA are effective. I wasn't in the best state of mind when I did them.
Included in my conversation with my therapist was my unfortunate cross dresser ugly interaction.
Which Connie commented on:
"Are you saying that, if you spent a whole lot of time worrying about what others think of you, you'd still be cross dressing, yourself? I remember having the revelation that I was cross dressing, but I had come to know that I wasn't a cross dresser. Had I continued to be afraid of what others would think of me, should I transition, I would have retreated back to the closet completely. There's nothing wrong with cross dressing, but it tends to lead to frustration, eventually, if one is not a cross dresser. It's like being a singer who is only allowed to lip-synch or, at best, nailing it at karaoke.
Hmm, maybe I have just pissed off a few cross dressers, myself."
I am sure it helps that all my critical heart tests are coming back normal. Whatever normal may be for me. Of course I still have pulmonary, colon and the final (I hope) X=ray on my ankle to go.
I also had my two mental check ups the last two days. For once, I needed both of their help. It will be interesting to see if all the survey's and interviews I filled out with the VA are effective. I wasn't in the best state of mind when I did them.
Included in my conversation with my therapist was my unfortunate cross dresser ugly interaction.
Which Connie commented on:
"Are you saying that, if you spent a whole lot of time worrying about what others think of you, you'd still be cross dressing, yourself? I remember having the revelation that I was cross dressing, but I had come to know that I wasn't a cross dresser. Had I continued to be afraid of what others would think of me, should I transition, I would have retreated back to the closet completely. There's nothing wrong with cross dressing, but it tends to lead to frustration, eventually, if one is not a cross dresser. It's like being a singer who is only allowed to lip-synch or, at best, nailing it at karaoke.
Hmm, maybe I have just pissed off a few cross dressers, myself."
I meant if I worried about transitioning as a transgender person into a feminine life as far as what others thought, I would have never done it. So, I agree with you, I would have found a closet that eventually would have killed me.
As far as cross dressers, or anyone else goes, I try my best not to stereotype. Which I guess I failed at miserably Saturday night. This comes close to saying it all.
Wednesday, September 4, 2019
Lost
Well, last night I lost an election to the board of the transgender - cross dresser support group I am part of.
I am not really too torn up about it, as during the meeting I remembered how mind numbing boring a board meeting could be.
I think too, I lost votes because of my Facebook tirade Saturday against an old cross dresser I have known for about thirty years. After the cross dresser made a big deal out of the clear blue sky to praise resident rump and all his policies I told another friend of ours what I felt about the cross dresser. I wasn't kind and said something to the effect the cross dresser didn't care about the long (and short) terms of what the current administration is doing to the transgender community because he didn't have a dog in the fight anyway. Unfortunately, I didn't say it that nicely and now I have several cross dressers in the group who hold a grudge against me now.
But...if I spent a whole lot of time worrying about what people think of me, I would be in a whole different spot now anyhow.
They will get over it.
I am not really too torn up about it, as during the meeting I remembered how mind numbing boring a board meeting could be.
I think too, I lost votes because of my Facebook tirade Saturday against an old cross dresser I have known for about thirty years. After the cross dresser made a big deal out of the clear blue sky to praise resident rump and all his policies I told another friend of ours what I felt about the cross dresser. I wasn't kind and said something to the effect the cross dresser didn't care about the long (and short) terms of what the current administration is doing to the transgender community because he didn't have a dog in the fight anyway. Unfortunately, I didn't say it that nicely and now I have several cross dressers in the group who hold a grudge against me now.
But...if I spent a whole lot of time worrying about what people think of me, I would be in a whole different spot now anyhow.
They will get over it.
Tuesday, September 3, 2019
Another Busy Week
After a brief break for Labor Day on Monday, life kicks back into high gear again.
Tonight is my vote (or the board's vote) on my application to fill a vacated board post on the transgender - cross dresser support group I am part of. I am running against someone else, so there is no guarantee I will get it. I am experienced in sitting on volunteer boards for ten years or more during my life, so I am qualified. Basically, I am putting myself up for extra hassle because Liz wants me to do something to get out of the house more. So in reality (since I am retired) I do have have more time to give. The one thing which could go against me is a Facebook interaction I had Saturday night with another transgender woman about an ultra right wing bigoted cross dresser who had jumped into the conversation. It's complicated enough for a whole post but making a long story short, I hurt a couple of cross dressers' feelings during the interaction. One of which sits on the board.
One way or another it won't be the end of the world.
Wednesday's appointment is much more important. I am having my third (and hopefully final) heart exam. It's an ultra sound on my heart. The first two tests went OK on my heart, so hopefully this one will too.
Thursday, I head back up to Dayton, Ohio for two more appointments. I have to have more blood taken for a hematology test and also see the doctor who prescribes all my Bi-Polar meds.
Friday, I finish the week with another trip to Dayton to see my therapist. At least this time, we will have plenty to talk about!
Oh, and I forgot, Friday night is another one of the cross dresser - transgender socials Liz and I go to.
Plus, the weekend brings an interesting regional college football game. The local Cincinnati Bearcat team is playing The Ohio State Buckeyes. It is a must watch game.
So far, I think that is it!
Tonight is my vote (or the board's vote) on my application to fill a vacated board post on the transgender - cross dresser support group I am part of. I am running against someone else, so there is no guarantee I will get it. I am experienced in sitting on volunteer boards for ten years or more during my life, so I am qualified. Basically, I am putting myself up for extra hassle because Liz wants me to do something to get out of the house more. So in reality (since I am retired) I do have have more time to give. The one thing which could go against me is a Facebook interaction I had Saturday night with another transgender woman about an ultra right wing bigoted cross dresser who had jumped into the conversation. It's complicated enough for a whole post but making a long story short, I hurt a couple of cross dressers' feelings during the interaction. One of which sits on the board.
One way or another it won't be the end of the world.
Wednesday's appointment is much more important. I am having my third (and hopefully final) heart exam. It's an ultra sound on my heart. The first two tests went OK on my heart, so hopefully this one will too.
Thursday, I head back up to Dayton, Ohio for two more appointments. I have to have more blood taken for a hematology test and also see the doctor who prescribes all my Bi-Polar meds.
Friday, I finish the week with another trip to Dayton to see my therapist. At least this time, we will have plenty to talk about!
Oh, and I forgot, Friday night is another one of the cross dresser - transgender socials Liz and I go to.
Plus, the weekend brings an interesting regional college football game. The local Cincinnati Bearcat team is playing The Ohio State Buckeyes. It is a must watch game.
So far, I think that is it!
Monday, September 2, 2019
To Be or Not to Be
Recently here in Cyrsti's Condo, we featured two young transgender women who decided to come out and be LGBTQ activists...if even it's because they came out at all. One was Teddy Quinlivan. Along the way, Connie wanted to clarify a comment she made:
"I didn't write what I did because I disagreed with Ms. Quinilivan's decision to come out as she did. In this age of cyber-information, though, it's likely that someone else would have exposed her gender status eventually. My point was that much of what made it possible for her to even have that option was by those of us who had gone before her. Whether it was more difficult for us (baby boomers) than it was for her could be debated, but I was more interested in the evolution and history of it all. We, who are the old-timers now, also owe much to those who had gone before us.
For many women, cis or trans, fashion models represent the unrealistic, if not impossible. I agree with Paula that it is about so much more than clothes and looks, but, unfortunately, there are so many who develop feelings of inferiority - and even hopelessness - when they compare themselves to these models. We trans women often talk about how passing is not really important, but I think most of us would like to be able to do so. If I could, I believe I would do everything I could to keep my trans status a secret. As a child, I fantasized about moving away to a place where nobody knew me and live as a woman. By the time I got close enough to my eighteenth birthday, though, testosterone had done so much damage to my body that my dream seemed to be forever quashed. Had I thought that I needed to look as good as a model, however, I never would have considered it in the first place.
Anyway, those of us who are trans and not models (although I want to be a contestant on a new show, "America's Next (Muffin) Top Model," can still have an impact. Just being out in the world and living regular lives can make a big difference. I think it's pretty obvious to most everybody I meet that I'm a trans woman, so I never bring up the subject. If someone else does, I do my best to educate them, but I always make it clear that I consider myself to be a woman, and trans is but one adjective of many others I wish to be used in reference to me. How about: loving, caring, friendly, good, or even bitchy (sometimes)?"
I agree. Unless you happen to be totally passable, you definitely are on the front lines of transgender acceptance/education. If you like it or not. It's one of the reasons I respect those who come out despite having a ton of passing privilege .
"I didn't write what I did because I disagreed with Ms. Quinilivan's decision to come out as she did. In this age of cyber-information, though, it's likely that someone else would have exposed her gender status eventually. My point was that much of what made it possible for her to even have that option was by those of us who had gone before her. Whether it was more difficult for us (baby boomers) than it was for her could be debated, but I was more interested in the evolution and history of it all. We, who are the old-timers now, also owe much to those who had gone before us.
For many women, cis or trans, fashion models represent the unrealistic, if not impossible. I agree with Paula that it is about so much more than clothes and looks, but, unfortunately, there are so many who develop feelings of inferiority - and even hopelessness - when they compare themselves to these models. We trans women often talk about how passing is not really important, but I think most of us would like to be able to do so. If I could, I believe I would do everything I could to keep my trans status a secret. As a child, I fantasized about moving away to a place where nobody knew me and live as a woman. By the time I got close enough to my eighteenth birthday, though, testosterone had done so much damage to my body that my dream seemed to be forever quashed. Had I thought that I needed to look as good as a model, however, I never would have considered it in the first place.
Anyway, those of us who are trans and not models (although I want to be a contestant on a new show, "America's Next (Muffin) Top Model," can still have an impact. Just being out in the world and living regular lives can make a big difference. I think it's pretty obvious to most everybody I meet that I'm a trans woman, so I never bring up the subject. If someone else does, I do my best to educate them, but I always make it clear that I consider myself to be a woman, and trans is but one adjective of many others I wish to be used in reference to me. How about: loving, caring, friendly, good, or even bitchy (sometimes)?"
I agree. Unless you happen to be totally passable, you definitely are on the front lines of transgender acceptance/education. If you like it or not. It's one of the reasons I respect those who come out despite having a ton of passing privilege .
Sunday, September 1, 2019
I Tried it Once.
Today I was surprised when a person who should have known better referred to me as he twice in the same conversation.
Finally, I took the next opportunity to throw in the chat I had tried the "he" part of life already and it almost killed me.
He was taken aback and from then on he referred to me with an emphatic "she."
At least I didn't have to explain further what I meant.
Finally, I took the next opportunity to throw in the chat I had tried the "he" part of life already and it almost killed me.
He was taken aback and from then on he referred to me with an emphatic "she."
At least I didn't have to explain further what I meant.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Ditching Good with Better as a Trans Girl
Archive Image from Witches Ball Tom on Left. Ditching good with better has always been a difficult obstacle in my life. I always blame my...
-
I don't find many new womanless pageant pictures floating around the web anymore. I think it's primarily due to the fact that th...
-
Amateur, by my definition means a person who does not seriously pursue a certain interest, job or hobby. Ever sense Cyrsti's Condo ...
