Saturday, May 31, 2014

Busy Weekend!

The way it is looking around here in Cyrsti's Condo,
It's possible the Sunday Edition this week will be delayed due to attending Trans Ohio and a couple other factors.

So, if you don't hear the Ker Plunk! in the morning on your computer, don't call the circulation department!
It's on the way!

Plus I have "lotz-o-mail" from you kids to catch up on!


Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Jim!!! I know you are in your room. Get out here, it's time to go to the game! .

Trans Ohio Uno

If you hang around Cyrsti's Condo much, you have read me write about the Trans Ohio Symposium going on about 50 miles from me in Columbus, this weekend.

Since Liz and I volunteered to help today, we were allowed to "sit in" on any of the workshops we could.  Both proved to be extremely interesting.

The first was presented by Kristen Precht-Byrd, who is an Assistant Professor in Applied Linguistics at Kent State University here in Ohio.  Among other things, she is working on "Tendencies in Gendered Communication."  Or, in other words, the tendencies  of how cis women and cis men tend to communicate in different ways. Some no real surprise- such as emotions.  Of course, cis women are the highest and cis men are the lowest of the genders apt to use emotional words.  But then, the professor began showing us studies of how transgender men and transgender women do or should use these tendencies to further each's personal transition to their non birth gender.

I'm not going to get too technical here and here is her email for more information: 

On the other hand,  what I found extremely interesting was how across the board- trans men did not fit easily into many categories.  According to Professor Precht-Byrd (who is married to a transgender man) , she is still researching if there is an answer of why trans guys on occasion seemingly fall right in line with their cis-guy counterparts in areas such as emotions and negative judgement.  On the other hand, they seem to retain their feminine heritage and rank right with cis-women in other key areas. By the way, there were several trans guys in the room who remained true to their gender-by not saying much about their thoughts on the matter.  Sound familiar?

For once it seems, we trans women may have an easier tendency of shedding more of our male pasts than our trans guy counterparts. After we learn to communicate in the world as feminine critters.

What's it mean to us? A chance not to obsess on sounding like legendary actress Lauren Bacall   the American film and stage actress and model, known for her distinctive husky voice and sultry looks. Don't me wrong, I would love to sound like her but more and more I relate to her emotions on the screen.

Today I used an example from the 1942 classic movie Casablanca I answered one of the workshop questions (to Liz) on how would  I respond to the sentence "We went to the movies."  Liz and I went to a big screen re-release of it last year in a Cincinnati theater. I said now,  the World War II tragic theme was not what I remember the most. When I went this time, the movie  emotionally overwhelmed me to the point of tears as I viewed it from the eyes of  Bacall and Ingrid Bergman.  I wasn't going to even bring it up to the group and just leaned over to whisper it to Liz and then I had too.

I still have a standing paranoia that people think I'm trying too hard with this woman thing.  Similar to being mistaken (or labeled) a drag queen/tra--ny.  I have no idea of how long this phase of my transition will take to disappear but in the meantime (after today) I have a better working knowledge of how the binary genders communicate and where trans women and trans men fit in.

Our second workshop of the day was to go into a totally different direction which I will pass along later! 

Friday, May 30, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

I love Vanessa Lima's profile: A transsexual Persian/Mexican mix model!

Trans Ohio Symposium-Day One

Symposium is a big word.  The ancient Greek definition is actually different from what I thought it would be:
The Greek symposium was a key Hellenic social institution.
It was a forum for men of good family to debate, plot, boast, or simply to revel with others.  Hey, nothing wrong with that and I would be kidding you if I said none of that went on at the Trans Ohio Symposium which begins today (Friday).  The really big deal though, are the workshops provided.

I have found over the years, the best way to get your money's worth at a tour or a group event was to volunteer. By doing so, you can provide much needed assistance and learn more yourself.  Essentially it's a trade out (barter) -your precious time for your precious money.   At this time of my life, my time is a commodity I can trade, so Liz and I both signed up for day one today to help.

What is today? It's a day of presentations for what I call the "intelligentsia" (Latin this time for:is a social class of people engaged in complex mental labour aimed at disseminating culture.) People interested in such things can get college education credits from the sessions today as professional types dissect issues such as  transgender violence, prisoners, school students, partners, athletes and more.  Then tomorrow and Sunday-is the time for the "not so intelligentsia" such as me and others who are - discuss another whole range of subjects.

Wow! Such a weekend.  My problem is I have always been a conference "geek" and come away with too many things I believe I need to do to "conquer the world" I was always taught if you could come away with three and do them-that was an excellent return for your time. So knowledge and meeting Trans artist Pamela Ann Reed and Transgender veteran/activist Brynn Tannehill will be geeking moments for me. Finally, I will be interested to see how the mix of participants works out this year.  Last year the proportion seemed to be in favor of younger transgender men.  I feel much of our feminine population is still deeply closeted by need or is of the opinion of one of my friends that she is still a "tra--y" and only would go to party.

I tried to tell her, of course there will party time too-as in all great conferences but this one is so much more!

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Keeping "A-Breast of the Situation"

I mentioned to my primary care physician during my last visit a couple weeks ago, the possibility of me needing a mammogram.

I had two reasons. The first was I have started to build some significant breast tissue I have had for a while and second-my maternal grand mother passed away in her 50's years ago from breast cancer.  He said he would do some research and make sure a specialist got back a hold of me with more information.

She did yesterday and I find out today what they think.  I wish I could record the call and pass it along to all of you.  The nurse did a masterful job of never quite saying exactly what the call was all about while at the same time giving me all the information.  The reason being, my gender markers are not changed at the VA where I get my care-she knew I was transgender and was leaving a message.  She knew I knew it but never really said it! Class.

New Cover!

If I didn't wait so long to grow my hair as long as it is, I would have pulled most of it out as I worked to get the finishing touches done on my "Stilettos on Thin Ice" book.

Thanks to Bobbie putting me in touch with the very patient and talented Sharon Wright of The Wright Impression design firm- she came up with a new cover which was well worth the wait!

Follow the link above to her site, plus we will feature her work later in another post!

I believe the change may delay other two or three days or so the book "going live" on Amazon and B&N.

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Jen! Thanks for this comment!

I love the androgynous look!

I recently saw a guy waiting to cross a street in LA that was wearing a blue knee length dress. He had feminine cut brown medium length curly hair, and wasn't making any attempt to pass his face off as feminine.

I was really impressed!

I've many times thought that if I can't get to the point of passing well enough, that maybe I should just go with dressing feminine and accept what mother nature gave me as far as my facial features.

And I have really enjoyed your posts with these androgynous males.

Take care!


And... here is another:

PHOTO: Hector Heral Photogra  BLAZER: Alan Zepeda   PANTS: Ojo de León GDL. México   MODEL: Alberto M.     México City.

Cyrsti''s Condo MtF "Before and After's"

stunning transformation.

Makeup transformation by Jessica deBen. Male female transgender drag. Makeover. Before and After.Some MtF gender transformations are nothing sort of amazing.  They can entail SRS surgery HRT and/or Facial Femininization Surgery or perhaps the skillful use of drag makeup.  Here are a couple of at least two million floating around on the web:

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Summer's #1 Accessory

Like so many things in my noggin', I can't remember exactly when I saw this ad first for a woman's skin care product:  Your number one accessory this summer, is your skin! I do remember however, how much I wanted my skin to be just that. I had spent an entire lifetime aching to be like the girl and woman next door with cute tops, shorts, skirts and sundresses.  It all seemed to be the impossible dream.

I paid my dues in the summer time as a cross dresser. Due to work considerations, I couldn't remove the hair from my arms so I had to find the very rare piece of women's clothing which covered my arms in the summer.  I did end up finding a few tops here and there which were very lightweight and wearable. However, I just drew attention to myself  being the only woman in the room wearing long sleeves on a sweltering summer day.

My legs were a different story.  Even before I started HRT, I had no problem keeping my legs free of hair. In fact, the older I got, the less I had!  Very quickly I was able to do what most every other woman was doing around me- going bare legged in the summer time. Shorts/skirts-you name it-no panty hose. Like so many guys who cross dress, I was told I had good legs. So I shopped for a couple shorter denim and dressier flared skirts.  By wearing them, I found I could almost balance my covered arms with  "uncovered" legs.  My problem then became, how was I going to continue using my homemade set of foam hip pads? I always held them in place with panty hose because I always disliked the restrictions of a girdle.  The system wasn't perfect, but I got by. What I  finally ended up doing was cutting a pair of hose off well above the skirt line so the pads were in place but didn't show.

Now of course, all of those contortions are behind me, as I go into what I call another summer furnace.  For all you Cyrsti's Condo regulars, you know how much I bitch and complain what HRT has done to my body's thermostat.  Roasting in the summer and freezing in the winter.  Certainly I wasn't the only one freezing last winter in Ohio during the "Polar Vortex" last winter and to get even, it is supposed to be really hot around here this summer.

I'm a believer that "Momma Karma" giveth and she taketh away.  I certainly will "take the heat" for the chance of my skin being my number one accessory this summer.  The effects of HRT have smoothed out my skin and decreased my muscle mass, so I can wear sleeveless tops this summer.  I still don't wear many skirts, instead I stocked up on quite a few pairs of Capris from the thrift stores.  Finally, I took advantage of the Memorial Day weekend sales to pick up a couple pairs of what I call fancy "flip flops." To wear them, I managed a  DIY basic pedicure on my feet.  As far as my hair goes, hot wigs are out-my own hot hair is in. Not much of a big change except I can't reach up and pull off my hair to cool off!

So this part of the year is pretty cool- when it's hot because I have waited so many years to get here and it's everything I thought it would be.

Finally, If I get brave and not think I am overly drawing attention to myself at the Trans Ohio Symposium this weekend, I will ask Liz to take some pictures-maybe!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Dealing from the Middle of the Gender Deck

Following yet another tragic burst of violence which killed many in California this time, I read with interest more than a few views of how genetic women felt about the attack.  If you hadn't heard, female rejection was stated as one of the main causes of the random violence.  Many times, when I'm looking for a genetic feminine written reaction to a tragedy such as this, theFrisky site usually never lets me down.  This time the site ran a post called "Not All Men Are Dangerous, But Yes, Women Do Live In Fear Of Elliot Rodger's Fury."

We have discussed here in Cyrsti's Condo, the serious need to be increasingly aware of how our world as we transition. How we need to learn how to be extra safe in it as MtF transgender women or cross dressers. This last incident though is extra scary to me partly from all my life experiences dealing from the middle of the gender deck.

As a guy, I knew a few other guys who were flat out scary in any number of ways.  I had a dishwasher in one of the big restaurant kitchens I ran who I told regularly "when he blew up and headed to his car for a gun to shoot the rest of the cooks who harassed him-give me five extra steps to get out the back door."  It got to the point of when I told him something to do, I asked. It's only now I'm beginning to learn what women feel like on a much broader spectrum.

Toss in the fact, that anyone and everyone seems to be able to come up with a semi automatic weapon in this country and the world becomes even more scarier.

I remember vividly the days when I was searching the dating sites for even just a friend. What I found from the male side of aisle were mostly who thought somehow I was desperate for their company, or the ones who only wanted to meet me in an out of the way motel where their wife wouldn't find out.  I did set up very public dates with a few-ended up being stood up more times than not and pretty much just gave it up.  I can't say some of those guys I didn't meet weren't like the ticking time bomb Elliot Rodger was.

Obviously, I was never the guy Rodgers' was and luckily only knew a select few that were.  I can understand the headline though and resent it because of what it says about men.  On the other hand, more and more now, I can see why women are thinking it.

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Femboi's Daddy: PhotoSo what if the pageant is over, why do I have to change my clothes to go dinner with the family?

Monday, May 26, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Prom Pix!"

You just knew there was going to be something a bit "different" about these photos-didn't you?  Just your average kids having fun, cross dressing for prom pictures...didn't everyone?

Who's the boy & who's the girl? Couples swap clothes & genders in awesomely awkward prom pix by JJ Levine and who feels more comfortable as a girl? :)

Mo Mail!

As we wrap up the Memorial Day weekend, there is one other transgender veteran (I know of) for sure who is a regular visitor to Cyrsti's Condo. Shelle thanks for your service during the Vietnam conflict!!!!

She also sent in a comment on one of my political soap box rants I recently posted about actively supporting politicians who support the TGLBQ community:

"Couldn't agree with you more,same thing going on over here in the Indiana bible belt!!"

The whole "Tri-State" (Ohio/Indiana/Kentucky) as we call it here in Southwestern Ohio has some interesting and important political races coming up. The politics are very similar! 

With the popularity of social media, it's now possible for people such as me who are transgender and out to let these candidates know the "T" is not so silent anymore.  

I realize being out is not an option for many of you now but- by backing candidates who have a social agenda who come closer to supporting our cause, is an easier way for you to pave the way for an easier life when and if you do decide to come out.

Thanks again Shelle!

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Damn! "Tucking" hurts! !!!!! THAT DUCT TAPE HURTS!

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Ker Plunk! It's time for the Sunday "Memorial Day" Edition- and a busy one!

"Justin Vivian Bond"
Page 1.-A salute to our fallen heroes.  Not too long ago, I began to tweet back and forth with another transgender vet, Lexi.  She has reminded us this weekend, is becoming similar to Christmas.  Graduation parties, time off of work and a celebration of the start of summer are taking away from the deeper meaning of the weekend. She even went a step further yesterday and pointed out this weekend is a time to take a second and remember all who served in uniform.  The fallen, the retired and those who will continue to live with service related injuries their entire lives. Such as Lexi! It's time we do!

Page 2.- We got Mail-Kind of- From Connie:  OK, Cyrsti, enough with the lip-schtick. I suppose that I should be honored to have been featured in more than half of your blog entry, but, somehow, I feel victimized. No matter, though, as I am perfectly capable of holding my own (there, I left myself open for you to make another joke at my expense). I know that you are done with the debate, but it occurred to me that it might be good to call in an old friend of yours, Dan Quayle. He would surely tell you that the plural of stilettos is spelled STILETTOES. 

Just as in the words "tomato(e) and potato(e), the singular form would have an E at the end of it. So, let that be the end of it. (but I'll bet that I have, again, left myself open (toed)) I don't plan on writing a book, but you may know that I enjoy writing song parodies. Your book's title reminds me of the one I wrote for Elvis's (did I get the apostrophe right there?) "In the Ghetto", which I made into "In Stilettos". (She) gets herself all done (She) Gets on Shoes!!

Connie, should I be fortunate my mind refuses to remember Dan Quayle? Should I trade out royalties whith you for your blog work and my song?  Which brings up another tune: "Nothing from Nothing equals Nothing."

Page 3.- Whose Worse?  Judge Judy or Rude Paul? After a while many minds seem to convince themselves because of how they have lived or who they are-they enable themselves to speak their mind to the point of believing they are right.  I have used Judy and Rude as an example because they seem to think "the world according to them" is gospel.  Rude figures since he grew up gay and black, he has an entitlement to think he can say anything he wants.  Of course, that it like saying since I grew up white, with a poor grandmother who told stories about going to KKK meetings in a wagon-I can say anything I want. (Ridiculous)  Plus, since Rude didn't serve his country like I did-do I have more of an entitlement than he does to be a hater? No, of course not.  I along with millions of others did our duty so he could.

I think both of them have been simply caught up in their rhetoric which used to help ratings and their finances but now their words have begun to define them.  Judy's inherent meanness is becoming through as does Rude's life as an old bitter gay queen. They are nothing more and nothing less.  Not to worry, soon they will enter the ranks of the dinosaur and retire to their gated palaces and become extinct.

Back Page.-  It's been a big week, here in the Condo with the book and all, tied in with everything else which is going on.  It's ironic, nearly my entire life, I have worked jobs which included the weekend and holidays.  From my paper route, to working as a disc jockey on radio to the restaurant business-weekends off were few and far between.  Now I'm continuing in the same direction by writing a 24/7 blog.  If the truth be known, I'm actually lost on holiday weekends , since I'm not working-so I am now, what I call a "live" post. Which means I'm writing it at 9:30 EST and not yesterday -  Even I figured out how simple it is to archive a post and schedule it to go live another time. High Tech!!!

Have a great week, and remember to take the time to thank a vet!

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Name Change

I got sooo involved with my last post, I misspelled Lexi's name ....there is no "E" in it!

Sorry :)

Transgender Vets

On this Memorial Day weekend, this is one of the posts here in Cyrsti's Condo when we take the time to put the party aside and really take a look at what is important about the weekend which kicks off summer.(Thanks Lexie!)

As I write this post, transgender military members must stay deeply in their closet or risk losing careers in jeopardy.  The fact remains trans women and men don't have the right to serve but do have the right to die doing it. If they don't come out.

On the other hand, there is the Veteran's Administration who is currently going through a rough time now with revelations of poor care in their system.  According to the USA TodayIn 2013, the Veterans Affairs department treated 2,567 veterans with the diagnosis of gender dysphoria with transgender-specific care, according to Ndidi Mojay, a VA spokeswoman. The department does not have a cost estimate for the treatment, which can include male or female hormones depending on gender."Few transgender individuals pursue a goal of transformation to the other gender that also includes the complete set of sex reassignment surgeries," Mojay said in an email. "The VA does not pay for or support sex reassignment surgeries."

I question how the VA came up with the idea "that few transgender individuals pursue a transition goal which includes SRS."  If you use me an example, since the VA does not cover any surgical procedures, I will never be able to afford them anyway.  I don't recall anyone at the VA sending me a questionnaire asking me if I would or wouldn't..

I am not one of those vets who has had bad care from the VA and in fact, they were a life saver when I lost my business and had no access to health care at all at my age.  I am however a Viet Era Vet who saw first hand how the VA/US Government stonewalled veterans with Agent Orange health problems for years.  In fact I knew more friends who died an early death from exposure to the chemicals than died in actual combat.  

I also know the VA has a tough job but I'm NOT naive enough to think a portion of the problem comes from a congress we have (and president-how much did it cost to send wife and kids to China?)  who are too willing to not cut back on their own perks, run the government efficiently and not screw over the ones who fought for the right for them to do it. 

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Suck it up Fred! The night is young!
OK, it's like this Jim,.you insisted on wearing that wig with that dress-now suck it up and get out there to the dance.


I am a political critter by nature and every now and then I use my soap box here in Cyrsti's Condo to bring up a point or two. This morning, as I was checking my Twitter account, I was pleased to see a Tweet by a politician with a very in depth idea of how to stem the tide of violence directed against women.

I was even more surprised the tweet came from Ohio (David Pepper) who is running this fall for attorney general.  Currently we have a career politician- conservative dinosaur as our attorney general in Ohio who needs to go.  I'm sure violence against women to him is when his wife breaks a heel on the steps of the statehouse.

As I checked out Pepper's web page there was even a spot to check if you were a GLBT person and I signed up-with the added comment:  "When you consider the rampant violence against genetic women, just don't forget how much worse it is for transgender women."

My politics anymore are fairly jaded, but there are several interesting issues and races coming up here in Ohio which has a constant tug of war between the religious right and progressive ideas.  Issues such as legalization of marijuana and gay marriage have sent the right wing preachers scurrying to their pulpits to brain wash the faithful.

I find it extremely sad there seems to be no place left for me in our increasingly polarized political system. I'm certainly a fiscal conservative but I can't find one in politics who believes I should have rights as a transgender citizen.

Dammit! Who got me started on this!!!!

Writer's "Arse"

"Aw right" it's done and sent to exotic places such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble to sell a million copies. Sometime next week my book should be available for sale.

 Somehow I don't think my humble self published E-Pub "Stilettos on Thin Ice"  is going to make it to the "New York Times" best seller list or you won't see me on Dr. Phil anytime soon. So why did I write it?

Very simply, the years of writing Cyrsti's Condo have led me to believe there are many of you living the same gender struggle I am-or did. Very simply if one person is helped by the book or if an outsider develops any sort of an understanding of a transgender person's life-I have been successful in what I set out to do.  I do know too, my story brings a message of hope to those transgender women of age who are transitioning-or are considering it.

On a lesser scale, I have never been able to actually finish a project such as a book in my life.  I'm literally a "hoarder of words" and have thousands stuck around here in the Condo. The whole project was on my "bucket list" which I have to tell you is very small.  I've been fortunate or crazy enough to just do most of what I wanted.

My problem now is I have a case of HRT "writer's arse".  If you didn't know, later more than sooner on hormones you do begin to "fill out" in the butt and hip/thigh area. For the last week or so, I have had to barricade myself in the house in front of computer to finish the book in time for the Trans Ohio Symposium next weekend.  The problem was, many snacks, very little exercise and a sore "arse" from sitting in this damn chair!  I'm fairly certain I'm getting a dose now of what a genetic woman feels like when she sits at a desk all day and feels those "snacks" going to her rear!

The only fortunate possibility I have going for me now is, I seem to still have some of my old male metabolism left and I can work the extra weight off of where I really need to-in my tummy area.  I'm far from worrying if my hips or thighs are too wide.

Finally, I will let you know when "Stilettos on Thin Ice" actually goes up for sale if you would consider purchasing it. ($3.99) thanks!

Friday, May 23, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Nice lingerie.on that boy. Honey! You mean I got a body wax and you say now I CAN'T go out with you and the girls? I'll see you there- sitting at the bar! You Bitch!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Luiss San MurguiaOur feature cover today in the Condo is Mexico's androgynous male model Luiss San Murquia


This turned out to be a dbl "shoe post" by accident, which could describe many of my posts here in Cyrsti's Condo.

First, for the last couple weeks I have been corresponding back and forth with Bernie at  Le Dame Shoes   which you may recall me mentioning not too long ago.  It turns out (thanks to all of you) he received a good response and wanted to do more here on the blog later.  I was flattered and said sure and in the meantime he wanted to send me a pair to try out for my own.  Initially I said, I wasn't a "heels" type girl and he said I might be in his shoes.

Even though, I'm sure there are a certain percentage of your cynics who read the Condo already are thinking "Cyrsti got paid off with swag" (Connie) but it is true - I do love the shoes. I will have more to pass along later!

Speaking of Connie and our mini grammatical discussion of the book title (and a pesky apostrophe). She sent in this comment:

Well, I just assumed that you had but one stiletto on the ice, so "(My)Stiletto's on Thin Ice" would be correct. I'm also imagining your other foot, the one on solid ground, would be in a combat boot. Not too different from your one foot on the platform; the other foot on the train (not that the shoe need be a platform in this scenario). Anyway, if you need a proof reader or copywriter, just send your manuscript to me. Be aware, however, that this old teacher uses a lip liner pencil for corrections. :)

Connie, I'm fairly sure you would charge me mega dollars for all the lip liner you would have to use!  Plus you need it more than the book does! I can't wait for your new book "Smootchless in Seattle"

 I have decided to let the red marks lie where they fall and just get the thing published...I'm sure my old writing teachers will be spinning in their graves.

"Weakly" Reader

Some of you "of age" and from the U.S. may remember the "Weekly Reader" at school when you were growing up.  Actually I found it started in 1928,  ceased and merged with another company in 2012, so for a moment, I didn't feel so ancient.

My reason for bringing it up is I'm only a week away from the Trans Ohio Symposium, this weekend is Memorial Day already and as of this moment I still only have Stilettos on Thin Ice ready for publication on the Kindle platform only. I'm still waiting to hear why the files didn't come across the same on Apple and Nook. I'm still hoping to publish today to give the book plenty of time to get into Amazon and maybe even a chance Barnes and Noble. (Which takes a little longer.) The goal of course is to network it at Trans Ohio.  We will see, at this point I'm a bit frustrated and aggravated but I will live.

In the meantime, I need to put the finishing touches on my workshop presentation next week as well as figure out all the details of what I'm wearing, times and all that fun stuff.  The symposium itself is being held at The Ohio State University Student Union which is approximately only a half hour from where I live, so travel isn't a worry. My partner Liz and I have volunteered to help work next Friday passing out and picking up classroom materials for all the educational and professional types which attend, so I will have to plan for that too.

All in all, I can't wait for the weekend! Last year, I'm sure I learned way more than anyone learned from me and I hope to double it this year.

In addition to the Symposium, The TGLBQ Pride events are starting up around my area in Cincinnati, Dayton and Columbus.  Columbus is the biggest on the 20th of June and my friends and I already have rooms reserved in town for it.  The others are "iffy" or out because Cincinnati is the same weekend as the Symposium and Dayton the same day as a family reunion of sorts I have to go to.

Anyway you cut it, the summer is off to a busy start.  I need a vacation!!!!

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

The girl on the left is a boy.  Brolita: Boys who dress like girl Lolitas.Psst, Jim, the next time I catch you dressed like this, going to the mall with my girlfriends is going to be the LEAST of your problems!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover" of the Day

It's been awhile here in the condo since we have featured another of the truly androgynous male models.  Our cover today is Dimitry Rublyovsky

I call this "too much beauty for one gender."

My Cover Designer

From Teresa:

Before pushing the "print" button, perhaps you'd like to mention to your cover text designer that "Stiletto's on Ice" is incorrect American English and that "Stilettos on Ice" (without the possessive apostrophe) is the correct usage.

Thanks Teresa!  I have a quick direct line to my "cover text designer" (me).  Changes have been duly noted and changed.  I have nightmares of my high school writing teachers wearing out quite a few red pencils along the way!!!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo- "What If?"

I really didn't think the parents would be home already!Dammit Jim!!! Get down here. Your Grandparents are here!!!

The Passing of Matt Kailey

The news is beginning to make it's way around the cyber world that Matt Kailey died over the weekend, on Saturday, in his sleep, of a heart attack or heart failure.

If you didn't know, Matt was the highly respected force behind the Tranifesto Blog, the "Ask Matt" series and the Author of  Just Add Hormones.  

And, by the way, Matt was a transgender man.  Unfortunately I never had the occasion to meet him and felt lucky enough when some of my off the wall comments made their way on to his blog when I sent them in.

What always struck me about Tranifesto was how Matt addressed both transgender men and trans women.  I found that to be remarkable and a rarity in our community where so many are out to protect their "little mound of sand" at all costs.

Finally, I know a little about how much of a commitment and effort it takes to put the amount of work out that Matt did at such a high level.

Indeed a man's work is his legacy and Matt Kailey's is a huge one!

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?

Dammit Mom! I told you I already had a summer job!  Don't tell Dad, I'm working as a secretary! I think he had something a little more masculine in mind?

Monday, May 19, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Yoo Hoo! I'm home from beers with the boys dear!  You may want to sit down!


Down to the Wire!

My friends are sick of hearing me say anything and maybe you are too-but it's true I'm down to five days until I send my "Stiletto's on Thin Ice" E-pub book off to be published.

With my friends, it's difficult to explain what the book is all about because they don't really know or care anything about my past.  To them, I came into their life as a transgender woman approximately five years ago and that's it. I'm sure they are thinking, "Just do it and shut up!"

For those of you who are Cyrsti's Condo regulars, you already know what it is all about-a synopsis of how I got here in my life.  Along the way of course, are a ton of wrong moves, dead ends and huge discoveries over the course of 50 years.

I suppose the book could be called a tragedy because I took so long to face up to whom I really was or a celebration of actually finding out.  As I have said before, the book will be very inexpensive and I am certainly not seeking wealth or riches from it.  If you do choose to buy it, I'm sure you will recognize certain experiences and thoughts from here.  Hopefully in a lot more depth.

I'm also sure as soon as I press the "pub" button, I will be asked many more technical questions before the book goes "live."  Hopefully by Friday though, I will be one of the millions who have been told "you ought to write a book"-who did.  I guess it's one step up from being told you should be on the "Jerry Springer Show." 

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Melissa Broliatto (tg)Our feature cover today in the Condo is Brazil's transgender beauty Melissa Brolliato:

Cyrsti's Condo "Thought of the Day"

"The longer I am on HRT, my feminine responses to the world are less externally driven and more internally grounded."  In other words my desire to be accepted as a woman by the world is no longer as important as understanding everything it takes to interact in that world.

Cyrsti Hart 

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

"Ker Plunk!" it's time for another issue of the Sunday Edition in the Condo.

Page 1.- Courage.  Just to be different this morning, I'm going to go a bit out of order with how I structure the edition and go with a comment I received from Jen Smith.  It concerned the experience last week I had last week with a guy who called me "Sir".  To catch you up, I simply lost it and asked the guy "WTF" did you call me?   Jen wrote:

This is an amazing story to me. You must be one special person, so brave, to handle a situation like this. You were in the military with him? I would have probably gone into shock at how to react in a situation like this. It seems like you have tons of confidence! Take care! jen

Thanks so much Jen!  As far as "brave" goes, I think I had my split second angry reaction covered in my brain before he did it.  It wasn't like I was in a situation where I would face physical harm with some redneck guy and his friends-this guy knowingly or not - gender trashed me for years.  I just had had it.  For some reason I turned on him before I knew it.  No, we weren't in the military together.  He was in the Marines and I was in the Army and the only common ground we have is we were both in Vietnam.  He served an entire tour there while I was just passing through (thank goodness!)

Looking back, perhaps I should have an added a "don't try this at home" tag to this post.  I also should point out, I essentially transitioned in front of the regular head bartender in this sports bar. It's down the way from where my wife worked before she passed and both of us stopped in when I was a guy way back then.  She got a kick out of when I verbally "swatted" John because he so deserved it.  I suppose my shock set in Jen, when I got to meet his wife and daughter who were so nice.

Page 2.- Trans Ohio Finally finished all the registration work and overnight lodging reservations for the Trans Ohio Symposium in a couple of weeks.  The problem was (if you are a golfer) the Memorial PGA Golf Tournament is going to held in roughly the same area of Columbus that same weekend.  The Symposium this year is going to be held at The Ohio State University (also roughly in the same area) so I didn't know how that would effect getting a room.  Last year, the event was held in one spot but his year we are encouraged to stay at a nearby hotel with a shuttle.  I lucked it out and took the last room though and booked a 4 star room for less money right off campus-come on Expedia!  The whole weekend should be more interesting if the primarily cross dresser group still has their mixer that Saturday night at a place called Club Diversity .  In the past the CD group (which has it's share of cross dressed sharks) has manged to act up and get kicked out of there. Regardless of the little spice they add,  I have always loved the place and it is diverse in it's clientele.  Plus I believe it's co-owned by a trans person.

Page 3.- "Book 'em Danno!"  Of course my deadline to hit the button with Vook and publish my "Stiletto's on Thin Ice" is this Friday.  So this week I will be kicking my virtual butt because I didn't get more done before now.  In my past there were those who thought I worked better under pressure, so I will find out again as I dig out literally from years of procrastination! (Book 'em Danno! is a vintage saying from the Hawaii Five-O television show.)

Back Page.- Last week brought all kinds of enticing news to the transgender community.  Reports surfaced the Pentagon and Defense Secretary Hagel were going to reopen the un American ban on transgender military service-finally!  On a lesser scale Tyra Banks felt the need to produce an upcoming show of some sorts on a group of transgender women in Chicago.  Called me jaded, but the whole project sounds a little too "fierce", glossy and profit driven to mean much to me here in small town Ohio. There is hope though if Carmen Carrera (left)  is heading up the project.

Well kids, that's it for this week's edition. Hope all is well for you in your part of the universe and we can get together again next week to do it again!

Cyrsti's Condo "Thought of the Day"

homo rights!

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our cover feature today is the beautiful transsexual woman Sophia Abella from the Philippines:

It's a Small World

Yesterday was the day to have my fluids checked at my local VA Clinic.  As a point of reference, my clinic could be compared to an urgent care center on steroids and my much larger regional hospital center is 20 miles in Dayton (Ohio).

After being probed, tested and questioned, I'm happy to say my primary physician Doc told me all was well and go on with my life.  Of course none of that is as easy said than done when you are my age and on HRT. My primary risks are potential blood clots and mood swings because of my history of being bi-polar and my Mom's cause of death from heart disease.  Definitely, I do pay attention to both.

Of particular interest on this visit to my Doc (my second), he said he felt a certain closeness to my treatment because he has a Mtf transgender niece!  Even I was at a lost for words for a second.  It turns out the niece is in her 20 somethings and lives in the Chicago area.  Very quickly our conversation turned to my dealings with my endocrinologist, dosages of meds and future plans.  Even gender markers!

He asked of my dealing with the VA as a whole and I said the only problem I have ever had was getting someone in the system to prescribe my HRT meds.  My original primary would make sure I got them filled but he didn't feel comfortable in prescribing them.  My problem became getting the VA in Dayton to pay for me to go outside the system to find a endo-doc who would prescribe and monitor.  The process took me nearly eight months. If I would have had to pay for the outside doc myself the cost for the initial visit and others would have been over one thousand dollars. I should point out, all of that was about two years ago and much has changed in the system. As far as my meds go, my estrogen is about the same cost with my VA copay, but my Spiro is much less. (Spiro is what is prescribed to lower testosterone fairly commonly.)

Of course I understood after the appointment why my Doc seemed to have a little more empathy for me and of course was pleased with the prognosis I would live on for a couple more days or so. (Have a lot to do!)  I am also set up with a stable number of refills on my prescriptions.  On this visit, I did ask him about if I should ask for a mammogram because my maternal grandmother died of breast cancer and I was developing more and more breast tissue.  I am supposed to hear back soon.

Now, the next hurdle for me will be how all of this will work with my upcoming date with Medicare coverage when I'm 65. (If I make it through the party!)

Friday, May 16, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

cuteWell dear, you always were harassing me about joining you and the girls some night and getting bored...I'm ready!

You ARE Gay Dammit!

Americans Say Yes To Gay Athletes ... Until They KissJust when you thought it was OK to come out of the closet and be the NFL's first openly gay player (if he makes the team) Michael Sam was shown smooching his boyfriend after he was drafted. (Left) Of course many are in shock now over the public display of affection but if you ask anyone who has watched the draft closely over recent years-it certainly has looked on occasion that NFL Commissioner Goodell was leaning in for a smootch from NFL players on more than one occasion! So Sam's smootch was not the NFL's first man on man kiss!  Goodell had him beat years ago!

Speaking of the "G" word, if you recall me writing about the wife and daughter of the guy who mis-pronoun-ed me last night, the daughter made sure she didn't make a mistake with me.  When her and her Mom were having the conversation with me about being a transgender woman, Mom said something about me being gay.  Of course I said, I'm transgender not gay.  I had to love the daughter when she said: you (me) are here with two women, your partner is a woman and you identify as a woman-you are GAY! 

I said you are right!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Never a Dull Moment

Last night I met up with a couple of my friends - for the sake of information, both are genetic females who identify as lesbians.  Now that I got that out of the way, both of them were fired up by the time I got to our meeting place ( a very straight sports bar). One is leaving tomorrow to visit her son in Africa who is serving in the Peace Corps and the other was just more exuberant than normal.  I was later (than normal) because a tornado touched down about 20 miles from where I live, so naturally I was watching the weather. Fortunately, it hit in a very rural underpopulated farm area. If you read Stana's Femulate blog, she was coming to Dayton and that's the weather she was talking about.

No more than I was getting comfortable with my first beer-here came the cheap shots.  Mind you now, I can give as good as I get but I usually like to get the first salvo in.  As it turned out, not much longer into the evening, along comes the biggest cheap shot of all, and not a funny one.  There is an ex marine (older than I am even) who I worked with for years in there to quit mis- pronouning me.  He was getting better and was down to the occasional "man" reference and then stopped it all together-until last night.  He walked by me and said "how you doing Sir?"  This time, I didn't let it go and turned around and said WTF John, what did you just call me?  He started to mumble and blush and did apologize and scurried away.  My friends were kind of shocked and I don't know if they even knew the full extent of what went on until I told them.  It's always an interesting gender dynamic between them and I in that they so totally accept me as me.  When someone tries to mis gender or pronoun me, they get puzzled as to why.

My one friend couldn't resist the opening and said the only male she reads in me is my total non acceptance of any other sports teams other than my own.  Keep in mind, she is as much a sports fan as I, so I told her that comment only proved what she doesn't about sports.

As it turned out, the night was far from over yet.  Later on, John returned with his wife and 45 year old daughter and they made him apologize again.  That was nice, but not needed but it turned out the wife and daughter had a true desire to know what makes a transgender person tick. (Like I knew?) Kidding, both of them were real good people and we did do a little classroom education about trans people.  It's just so difficult to explain the various layers of our community without losing everyone's attention.  I pretty much got through the basics of how I was married, in the military, played football and did all the man things the best I could. It just wasn't me and yes now I am different from a cross dresser in many basic ways including the hormone replacement therapy I was on.  

So as you can tell, there never was a dull moment except when I woke up and  had to shake off the hangover this morning!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

"Hang in there.  Just don't let the rope get too tight!"

Cyrsti Hart

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Cross-dressing Couple in theatrical Costumes - Tintype Portrait taken in the second Half of the 19th CenturyFrom the look on his/her's face, she/he just goosed him! Or the cross dresser is thinking "Finally! Another way to check out how I look in drag!"

"Cross-dressing Couple in theatrical Costumes - Tintype Portrait taken in the second Half of the 19th Century"

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Busier Than a One Armed Paper Hanger!

I think this was one of my famous phrases in the daily management communications log in one of the restaurants I worked in "Outta Time, Outta Money, Outta Luck!" (The evening was particularly tough.)  The statement could describe to a degree the rest of this month for me.

Liz and I are only two weeks and a couple days from the Trans Ohio Symposium weekend May 30, 31, and June 1st.  My workshop will be the same as last year-the basic where, how and whys of how I was able to begin HRT and transition so late in life.  Liz, on the other hand should be doing her own workshop about being the partner of a person who does.  The dynamics of how we identify alone, causes many heads to spin.

As of now and probably in the foreseeable future, both of us retain our birth genitalia. I retained my sexual attraction to women as did Liz.   All of that is simple enough until everyone wants to know how Liz and I met and was it when I was more or less a guy.  (No I wasn't.)

Perhaps a workshop could be called "The Taboo of Trans Lesbianism and It's Effect on the Gay and Lesbian Community."  Then again, I'm lucky to get done what I have to do, with workshop handouts etc.

I have also given myself a deadline to get my book "Stiletto's on Thin Ice" E-published by then.  I'm going through the "Vook" publishing tool, from which for a fee, they distribute to Amazon and Barnes & Noble. In order for all that to happen I have to leave an extra week of time.  So, using anther time honored expression from my Dad growing up, "It's time to S__t or get off the pot."  As you can see, I'm a "outta time person writing."

In the cash department,  no difference either.  I knew coming into all of this and taking an early Social Security retirement, I would have to scramble to make ends meet-and I have.  So now,  I'm not buying any new sun dresses for a Caribbean cruise.  I would just get sick on it anyhow!  I'm just trying to scratch together a few extra sheckles for some party time in Columbus (Ohio) which is a wonderfully diverse city.

Finally, I have always believed luck is what you make of it.  When I set myself up to do dumb or impossible things, I did fail and vice versa. Sort of like thinking the mini skirt and heels I wore to the mall so many years ago was a good idea! Now,   to the best of my ability, I think what I'm doing at Trans Ohio is the right thing for the right reasons and at the end of the day-that's all I can do.

sissySo forgive me if Cyrsti's Condo is looking a little dusty these days.  Maybe I can get one of those cross dressed  "French Maid Sissy Types" (Pictured at left.)  to come clean it?  Will she work for fish nets and heels?

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Well honey....about the "other woman's" clothes you have been finding around the house....


Why Won't Those Hormones Talk?

If you would have even suggested to me a year or so ago I would be going through all the mental adjustments I am now on HRT, I would have suggested you were as crazy as I am.

But, as I do continue to play more and more in the girl's sandbox, I came up with this description of how I feel about one aspect of my dealings with genetic women:

"More and moreI know how you feel and why you feel it but I still have a very difficult time talking to you about it."

Such is life on the transgender divide.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Question of the Day"

How many  cross dressed Sissy Maids does it take to feel up a "Mistress"? And why are they smiling?

Class Less Reunions?

As graduation time quickly approaches in my part of the world, I began to think about my days in high school one hundred years ago and a post I read somewhere from a U.K. cross dresser.  He went to an all male school "back in the day" and like most of us, stayed deeply in the closet.  He wondered though, how many other cross dressers statistically could there have been in the school too.  Even to the point of coming up with some sort of graph-where he lost me.

I don't believe he is alone in wondering how many of our friends and class mates were in their cross dressing closets too. While it is almost a romantic thought to think any guys who happened to transform into attractive girls for Halloween or school drag shows were actually cross dressers- I know I was the exception to that rule. I didn't want anyone to know of my cross dressing urges.

So many years later, in a couple years, I will be facing my 50 year class reunion.  Of course I have wondered if my decision to ever go to a reunion will change by then and I'm thinking not.  My decision has less to do with buying a "not" so little black dress and rocking the event in my heels but more in the stubborn reality I had very little to do with any of my classmates then - and now.  It's so bad that on my 40th class reunion, the committee in charge of finding the whereabouts of everyone couldn't even locate me in my home town,  where I was a very visible person.  So I sent the form letter asking where I was back in, saying I died in a car wreck in 1969. (Which I almost did.)

I can hear the group behind my back jabbering, "Look Martha, she used to be a he in our class but who was he?"

Monday, May 12, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "Power Scope"

This week kids, according to my scope, I might have to watch where I'm "laying down?"

Libra- (September 23-October 22): Where you lay your body this week won’t bring you the peace of mind you think it will. Just as you think you can leave your worries behind, there will be a weird feeling that could stir up your jealousy in a way you haven’t witnessed in years. Yes, your inner dragon will be blowing green fire and it won’t just char, it can decimate.

All this time,  I thought my "inner dragon" was just a bad case of indigestion!

For all you non Libra's-don't fret and go here to theFrisky for your own scope!

Holiday's are not a Drag!

Mr. RVHSChristmas certainly wasn't a drag for these guys...wait maybe it was?  Maybe the top left "girl?"

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?

Finally! Someone ELSE gets to figure how to pin the corsage on!, someone else has to figure out how to pin the corsage on!!!

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Chuck Does an About Face?

Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel told ABC News’ Martha Raddatz that he believes the ban that prohibits transgender individuals from serving in the U.S. military should be reviewed.
“I do think it continually should be reviewed,” Hagel said. “I’m open to that.”
After the 2010 repeal of the policy barring gay and lesbian service members from being open about their sexuality, known as “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” activists turned their attention to the transgender policy, calling on the military to allow transgender individuals to serve openly. But there has been no review of the ban. Earlier this month, a Pentagon spokesperson told Slate, “At this time there are no plans to change the department’s policy.”
But in an exclusive interview that aired on “This Week with George Stephanopoulos,” Hagel said he’s now ready to reconsider the ban.
“I’m open to those assessments, because — again, I go back to the bottom line — every qualified American who wants to serve our country should have an opportunity if they fit the qualifications and can do it,” he said. Transgender issues are “an area that we’ve not defined enough.”
Hagel said his biggest concern is providing the medical support necessary to support transgender individuals, especially if they are stationed in what he called “austere locations.

Maybe the light at the end of the tunnel is not the train for transgender service members.

Cyrsti's Condo "What If"

He likes pink and petticoats and dressing as a little girl.  Mom...Happy Mother's Day

Love you! Jim :)

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Here we go kids, another Cyrsti's Condo Sunday Edition-Kerplunk!!.

Page 1.-  Sports!  In case you haven't heard, the St. Louis Rams made history Saturday with the 249th pick when they selected Missouri defensive lineman Michael Sam and made him the first openly gay player in the NFL. It’s a monumental moment in American history and it’s a moment that won’t soon be forgotten by anyone.

I have several other football fan friends who texted me yesterday and said they had made the St. Louis Rams one of their favorite teams.

Rams head coach Jeff  Fisher said it best: 
ESPN and said, "In a world of diversity that we live in, I'm honored to be a part of this."

Page 2.- Mother's Day.  It's time again to take a special moment to pause and remember our Moms.  I know some of us have positive - or not so positive memories of our Mother's.  Either way, they did take the time to bring us into the world, put up with us (sometimes) and left lasting memories for those of us whose Mom's have passed on.  I have always thought we transgender or cross dresser women and men had a different relationship with our mothers than our cis-gender relations.  I never had a sister and my Mom has been gone for years and we had a rocky relationship on several levels because we were so much alike-more than she ever wanted to know when I never "outgrew" my transgender issues.  I have mentioned numerous times how I can vividly remember being fascinated with watching her "put on her face" (makeup)

Page 3.- Entertainment.   Austria's popular bearded lady, Conchita Wurst, won the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday night.    Ms. Wurst's onstage drag persona is 25-year-old singer named Thomas Neuwirth. Sporting a skintight glittery dress, long brown hair and a beard, Ms. Wurst won the contest with a song titled "Rise Like A Phoenix.".A polarizing figure, Ms. Wurst attracted a flood of respect for her views on gender and sexuality, but she also became the target of criticism, including from a prominent Russian politician known for holding antigay views. Following the win, Ms. Wurst said "this night is dedicated to everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom...we are unity and we are unstoppable." Ms. Wurst wasn't the only subject of controversy at the 59th Eurovision contest. At many points in the evening, particularly during the voting session that follows official performances, Russia received a chorus of boos, forcing organizers to remind the audience that the event is about love and respect, not politics. 

Page 4. The Back Page.  A big end to the week with the news of Conchita Wurst and Michael Sam proving once again the TGLBQ community is just not fading away.  The world damn well accept us! You all have a great week AND! Thanks for being a part of "the Condo"!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

Flipping the Transgender Switch

Not too long ago here in Cyrsti's Condo, I wrote a post about taking different paths to where we identify today as transgender, transsexual or cross dressers.

As I said in the last past, I'm far from smart enough to figure out where we end up on the spectrum.  Is it all an internal process which we were born with, or more of a reaction to external stimulus or a mixture of both?

Most certainly, if you are satisfied with occasionally cross dressing as your non birth gender, you probably were influenced by external factors sometime earlier in life.  But what about the rest of us?

Here is a comment Connie sent in:

Oh, if it were only as easy as flipping a switch! I've found it to be more like shifting gears - as with a 10-speed bicycle. My first little hints of my transsexual self were much like learning how to ride a bike; playing dress-up in my mom's old clothes that I found in a box in the garage, and trying to apply her lipstick in the bathroom mirror. Funny enough, it was close to this time that my dad had bought an old bike from Goodwill (the assigned destination for the clothes I had been wearing from that box in the garage). It was a 24" bike, and much too large for a five-year-old. Nevertheless, I did learn how to ride it - even though my legs were too short to be able to push the brakes back properly. I couldn't stop the bike, and I couldn't stop my "desire" to be a girl, either.

The irony does not escape me that, without training wheels, I accomplished my breakthrough moment of riding on my own just as I kept my gender "secret" to myself. Dad did give me instruction for riding a bike, but not for a bike that was too big for me, just as he tried to raise me to be a man (a little one, anyway). I took it all in, dutifully, but I came up with the necessary modifications by myself. In retrospect, I'm sure that my parents had become aware that I was not completely displaying the more-masculine traits of a little boy, even though I was trying so hard to conform to their expectations. My ability to stop my gender identity was as difficult to do as it was to apply the brake on that bicycle. So, I was stuck in first gear (the bike only had one) with my only way of stopping being to either crash or fall off. By the time I had the opportunity to ride a 10-speed bicycle, I was no longer crashing, and my ability to keep from falling off the bike matched my ability to walk effortlessly in Mom's high heels.

The bike belonged to the older girl next-door (a girl's bike!). I learned much from her about shifting gears - both on the bicycle and with my gender identity. Stopping was no longer the big issue, but learning to use the proper gears in order to climb the hills was something else. The hills I have been negotiating since then have been mostly of my own making; marriage, children, establishing my male persona within the community.

 I worked hard to be an "A-lister" in those categories for years before realizing that I was in the wrong gear. At the same time, though, I was stuck in first gear with my gender identity. It could have been easy enough to maintain my "A-list" standing as I (falsely) presented my male self, while still being accepted by the "A-list" cross dressers; or so it may seem to others. I cannot see myself as belonging on either of those lists, however. To climb the hill, then, I must continue to up-shift, being careful to know the right gear to use, as well as the proper timing in shifting to that gear.

Thanks for the great comment Connie!  From my own humble perch on the bike, I never saw the possibility of ever escaping my gender turmoil, did very self destructive things to myself and finally made it to where I am today.  I just couldn't get by putting on women's clothes and thinking I was a complete person.

The next companion post to this one will be "Gender Survivor".  If you have a comment, I would love to read it! Send it here, or to my email -

Friday, May 9, 2014

Cyrsti's Condo "What If?"

Dammit Honey! I still can get ready faster than you! You are wasting valuable shopping time!!!

Finding a Transgender Friendly Place

From June 29th 2013, another Cyrsti's Condo archived post as I'm busier than a one armed paper hanger. This is a timeless post which is still as relevant today as then.

Did I get your attention with this title? Actually it's one of the bigger questions I get on a regular basis. Over the years I have tried to over think this process and come up with complex answers I can't even follow. Last night though, in a rare moment of brilliance- my transgender spirit guide said "listen dummy, you find your own places by just going there." I thought for a moment a said "wow spirit peep you are on to something!" Think about it, we all have the power to help a place to become transgender friendly. But of course there are rules: One of the biggest misconceptions is that all gay venues are trans friendly. 

The truth of the matter is you have to educate them the same as any other place. They just don't know us. Recent surveys have indicated that only 10% of the population has met a transgender person-change that! Shopping of almost any kind should be a given. After all you are spending money with the merchant. You can also endear yourself if you don't treat women the way they treat each other. If you don't know, listen sometime. Which brings me to what I assume are common sense points: 1- Never Assume your experience is going to be a bad one and be a bitch. With that attitude you will be right. More than likely you will give yourself and the rest of your trans sisters and brothers a bad start. 2.-Mind your own Business, be pleasant and TIP well when you are in a service situation. You will indeed make a good impression. 3.-Go Back. Maybe not common sense but a good point. If you become a good customer, you will be remembered and even protected in certain situations. 4.-Communicate. I learned this one the hard way. 

When you don't talk to people they assume the worst about you. So what if you don't think you have the sexiest female voice around. Not using your best effort will hurt you more in the long run.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Blasting Cyrsti's Past

Along with everything else which is happening around here in Cyrsti's Condo, we are also coming up on another year anniversary with this monumental effort!

Here's a repost from July 25th, 2013-

Yesterday I was invited to a quick lunch with my daughter and 12 year old grand daughter. Both of know of my transgender status so the day was sort of special. On the other hand, I'm doing some of the most butch hard labor I can do on my house, repairing a brick wall. I hate it but I have been literally been putting it off for years and the unseasonably cool summer weather we have now makes it a "must do project". I suppose I will lose a couple much needed pounds in the process. So, I am a little short of time to post to Cyrsti's Condo. I learned some time ago, when in doubt, go to the archives and came up with this post from 10/5/2011 and just so happens to include my daughter and an appointment at the Veterans Administration: "Today had to be my best birthday ever! My third visit to the VA therapist seeking a hormone permission letter was late in the afternoon. As I got ready to meet my daughter for a birthday breakfast, I received a text from a long time female friend who I have progressively come out to over the past couple months. She wished me a good birthday and a positive trip to the "Doc" which meant a lot! 

My breakfast with my daughter was very different. Almost immediately she asked me if I knew one of the performers in one of the top drag queen acts in the area. They are known as the "Rubi Girls" based out of Dayton, Ohio. As it turns out I had seen their act (impressive) and actually knew one of the performer's employees. As surprising as this was, more surprising was the fact I was having the conversation with her at all. The rest of the breakfast was equally as good and I'm still not sure how I did so well in the daughter department. On to the therapist appointment. We exchanged the usual "how's life" questions before I asked the magic question: "what reservations did she have about writing a permission letter?" She didn't hesitate and said she expected the question and pulled a file folder off her desk The folder contained the "Harry Benjamin Gender Dysphoria Care Standards". As we went through the highlights it seemed I met most all of the criteria. (I'm not exactly sure anyone but Harry understood them all.) She was very positive and said she would like to take one more step before writing the letter. The step was a final consultation about me with a very experienced gender specialist in Columbus. Ironically she is the same person I went to for help over 20 years ago. I know "nothing is over until it's over" but I'm cautiously optimistic I will have the letter in two weeks at my next visit. My last (but far from least) stop of the day was a lite dinner date with a GF down in Cincinnati. 

Without getting too personal, it was a wonderful ending to a special day. On the trip home I was going pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming but I have a real aversion to pain and just made sure I wasn't driving up I-75 in a dream. I can guarantee you I-75 between Dayton and Cincinnati, Ohio is no place to be dreaming behind the wheel and I wasn't. The day was all so real and so wonderful! And now it's back to reality and my bricks. Dammit, not good for the nails!

Workplace Issues

Image from Gabrielle Henderson  on UnSplash. Sadly, many transgender women and trans men still get discriminated against when they seek out ...