Showing posts with label seasonal fashion changes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label seasonal fashion changes. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 25, 2023

Falling Leaves

Image from Melissa Askew
on UnSplash

We are coming close to the peak of fall weather here in Southwestern Ohio.

The leaves on our trees are beginning their seasonal changes to red and gold and are starting to fall from the trees. On top of all of that we have been blessed (so far) with fairly mild temperatures and sunshine. In fact, we will have several days in the seventies this week. All weather news aside, fall has always been a bittersweet time of the year for me. 

I positively loved the fashion changes the cooler weather brought about. Primarily because I could cover all the pesky arm hair I couldn't cover with summer fashions with any long sleeved tops or blouses. I couldn't shave my arms because I needed to wear short sleeves on occasion when I worked in the kitchen at work. I also was/am fond of the leggings I acquired. My thought pattern is the tight leggings gave my legs a feminine shape. Completing my outfits, I normally wore fuzzy, oversized sweaters. My wardrobe even was approved by my ultra critical second wife. For the most part, this was the sweet part of the bittersweet term.

The bitter portion came when I stopped to consider the overall changes of the season. I vividly remember when I was coming home one night when I was living in Bowling Green, Ohio shortly before I went into the Army. The wind was blowing leaves across the road ahead of me in my headlights. Even in my pre-hormonal days, I nearly cried when I thought of all the upcoming changes which were coming in my life. Not only could I not pursue my gender goals, it was looking as if I couldn't even cross dress in my feminine clothes at all for the three years when I was in the military. All of the sudden, the weight of the world was coming down on me. On top of that, my fiancé at the time decided to break up with me because I was a cross dresser so I was all alone in my time of need.

To add insult to injury, I was able to bring a small wardrobe of clothes, wig and makeup with me to dress up in the apartment when my other roommates were away for break. I came home one night and after I did my prep work (shaving my legs and face) I went to look for my clothes and they were gone. Someone I discovered my hiding place and taken it all. I was equal parts mad and devastated because I just didn't have the courage to bring it up to my roommates when they returned from winter break. Besides, by this time, I only had a few weeks before I needed to report to Ft. Knox, Kentucky for basic training. I managed to salvage a bit of fun in the situation knowing how little humor a drill sergeant would have had if I showed up in a mini skirt. So I didn't need the clothes anyhow.  

These days, since I have transitioned into a transgender woman's life as far as I want to, I can enjoy the fall weather and leaves for what they are. A beautiful reminder of how life and seasons change for the better, even if I know the cold of winter isn't so far away. Without ever trying to look too far ahead, I know after the drab winter months, the green leaves and grass returns for another warm season. I mention often how the seasonal changes are fun for me because I can examine my feminine wardrobe and update it for the season ahead, Something I was always jealous of the cis-women around me during most of my life. I represented the drab winter too much it seemed while the women were able to explore new colors and fashions when the seasons changed. 

I guess you can say, I paid my seasonal fashion dues the difficult way and can now try to enjoy my new feminine transgender life. I view it this way, I lived nearly sixty years as a man and now I have lived over ten years as a transwoman. I had a lot of catching up to do. All the cross dressing in the world couldn't make up for the fact I couldn't take the final step and transition. The only good feelings I could take away from all my crossdressing experiences in the world were, at the least, I leaned many lessons of what I was getting myself into when I left the male world and entered the world of women. It wasn't easy as I needed to learn to play in the girl's sandbox before I earned my way in.

Sunday, March 19, 2023

Transgender Seasons

Summer Fashion from the Jessie Hart

Calendar spring is coming around here in Ohio early next week on Monday. Traditionally the calendar change does not mean the actual temperatures will change that much. In fact, we are expecting snow today just days before the season changes. Even though I realize from long experience with the weather around here, finally I am closer to leaving winter behind than ever before. Which means it's time for the exciting wardrobe checking  ritual. 

The entire wardrobe process has always been one of my seasonal treats every year. It is time for me to enjoy the benefits of being a woman. I was always so envious of the women around me when they could update their clothes to match the new season. Which I might mention we have four of here in Ohio. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. Plenty of opportunities for change. 

Even though I haven't really taken the opportunity to go through all my clothes, I certainly need to do it soon. Plus, this season I feel I need to really get into and accept change is my clothing selection. I think I am still caught up in the Covid isolation times of the recent past. I need bright colors to brighten up my mood. I can also enjoy one of my previous favorite pursuits of being a transgender woman, changing with the seasons. 

I am not a huge fan of summer or for that matter winter. But this year we were able to afford a new installation of a central air conditioning unit. Which will help with our hot humid summers. And, we just got the new furnace installed for hopefully winter's last hold on us. The revival aspect of spring appeals to me too when the brown vegetation turns green and the tree's bud out and flower. For some reason, fall has been my favorite season. Perhaps every fall I thought it would be the year I could finally open my gender closet and explore the world. It was a colorful time of change and why couldn't I be part of it.  Ironically, fall was when I finally was able to transition full time to an out transgender woman. Since my birthday is in October, I felt in many ways I had gone full circle. Fashion-wise wearing boots, leggings and oversized soft sweaters really appealed to me. 

Cis-women probably take the seasonal fashion changes for granted. For transgender women fashion changes provide an extra opportunity to express our feminine side. Just one of the fun aspects of transitioning which at times can be so agonizingly difficult. Seasonal fashion changes are also a part of maintaining a positive feminine public presentation. Not unlike mixing business with pleasure. 

I also hope to for once do some serious shopping for spring fashion. It is definitely time.  

Workplace Issues

Image from Gabrielle Henderson  on UnSplash. Sadly, many transgender women and trans men still get discriminated against when they seek out ...