Thursday, June 30, 2011

VA Update

"The National Center for Transgender Equality" recently released a policy brief updating recent Veterans Administration changes regarding transgendered veterans.
As you all know this is all near and dear to me. The VA is my primary health care provider and I have considered approaching them with my transgendered status during the past several years.
I researched and learned there was no real uniform transgendered policy in the VA.
Now there is but what does the policy really mean. 
Here is a portion of what the "NCTE" thinks:
"This victory is only a start, however. Much work remains before
transgender veterans are fully able to live equally to non-transgender
veterans. Below are some of the policy areas still on NCTE’s veterans
health agenda.

   * NCTE and allies will soon release a comprehensive model policy
for VA facilities for the appropriate treatment of transgender
veterans. This policy will be offered to VA facilities nationwide for
their adoption.

    * Now that the VHA explicitly requires proper treatment of
transgender veterans, it is clearly necessary for frontline providers
to receive training on what that means. The VHA immediately should
undertake a cultural and medical competency program.

    * Unfortunately, VHA regulations still prohibit the agency from
providing or paying for sex reassignment surgeries. TRICARE and
CHAMPVA regulations also prohibit these health plans from covering
some transition-related care. These agencies should begin immediately
the process of reevaluating the regulatory prohibitions regarding
transition-related care based on contemporary medical evidence and
accepted clinical guidelines."

Most certainly I'm excited about this turn of events and waiting for more information.
Discharge papers (DD-214), are a huge part of all of this too.
Work is being done to change the "gender marker" on the all important 214
In essence I could be not automatically outed if I went through transition and presented female at the VA if my 214  was changed.
These are all huge steps within the VA but certainly not the last!

Ouch! Part Deux!

Janie (who I respect so much) commented on my "Ouch" post.
Her comment started my thought processes. Where have I taken myself since?
The easiest answer is looks. I did go back to my dark look as suggested by more than one of you. (Thanks)
A much deeper change took place too.  I rededicated myself to my chosen gender.
No matter how I feel between the ears, my physical presence will always be a work in process. "Walking the talk" so to speak.  We all know how many factors are involved regardless of looks.
Posture, voice mannerisms all play a part.
I believe I had become too complacent. Too much of my male came through.
I entered a work cycle which by necessity is male. I didn't flip the gender switch completely.  I was lazy and over confident.
I learned again to take nothing for granted!

This Picture IS Worth A Thousand Words!

Bond...Justin Bond

This "Bond" is no "007". This "Bond" is Vivian"
Note the key terms from the home page.
prefix: mx
pronoun: V
gender: trans or T
full name: Mx Justin Vivian Bond
Then read the very interesting bio!

"Many years ago while I was sitting at Cafe Flore in San Francisco, one of my favorite places on earth. I was approached by a transexual woman who engaged me in conversation and during our chat she said to me, “Justin, sooner or later you’re going to have to come down off the fence.”  I was quite taken aback by this statement as I hadn’t really thought of myself as being on a fence. But after some thought I realized what she was saying.  By saying I would have to come down “off the fence” she was saying that sooner or later I would have to make a choice and conform my identity to embrace the gender binary and validate her choice to climb over the fence to the “other side”.  Personally, for me, I have never believed there was another side for me to cross over to.  Sometimes I wish I did.  If I felt there was a clearly defined place for me to go, where I would be welcomed and at peace, I would surely have gone there many years ago.  At times I’ve almost been able to convince myself there was, but for me to claim to be “a woman” would feel just as false as the charade I’ve been asked to play for so much of my life of being “a man”.  Having said that, I will affirm that I do believe there is another side for others; for transexual men and women who fully embrace and are comfortable subscribing to the gender binary -to a polarized notion of gender. But please don’t assume that aspiring to pass is “realness”, because as far as I can see “realness” too is a construct built on shifting sand.  If you insist on serving “realness” don’t be surprised if it is declared to hard too swallow and sent back to the kitchen.  This applies to “real men”, “real women” and all of their enablers.  I’m not interested in the expression of “realness”.  I would like to be afforded the luxury of being free to be as honest as possible and to have my truth be respected."
Mx. Bond goes on to talk about hormones and transgender labels and such. The really wonderful part of Bond is the invention of a personal pronoun! From the homepage: "Since my name is Justin Vivian Bond and since Vivian begins with a V and visually a V is two even sides which meet in the middle I would like v to be my pronoun."
Follow the "Vivian" link above for more on this fascinating person who is also a "cabaret" performer.
One of the more interesting insights I had while writing this was trying not use  male or female pronouns. Try it!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Latina Pride

An attractive "parade" girl from "San Salvador"


I would like to thank all of you who sent in suggestions on my weekend crash.
Went out last night and had a great time! Again.
I did go back to my dark hair with waves and curls. I went to my usual spots with no incident except one.
I think I learned a lesson on leaving a situation before it developes.
A woman came in and sat next to me at my second stop. I believe she saw "strength" in numbers as we would appear to be two women sharing some girl time. She was very nervous for whatever reason.
Very quickly the guy on the other side of her asked her to join his group at a nearby club.  She politely declined and continued to drink her beer and never said a word to me.
Not more than ten minutes later, two other guys rolled in and sat down a couple seats from me.  The one guy kept looking our way and I was thinking "here he comes". Well he did.  He passed me up and went directly to her and said something I didn't hear.
She immediately left her drink and left...quickly. I thought "whatever he said" I'm in for it next.  Before he could I paid and left almost as quickly as her.
The only thing I heard as I made my exit was "They weren't together?"
I'm not saying retreating is feminine in nature but I am saying the woman last night is a great example of when retreating is the smart girl thing to do!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Andrej Pejic Stars Again

From "Fashionista" comes the news that model of the moment Andrej Pejic has landed yet another gig: he’s stepped off the runway and gone back behind the camera to model the look book for indie New York label MadeMe.

Sunday, June 26, 2011


Well it finally happened, a terrible nite out. Deep down inside I knew it was going to happen and maybe even I subconsciously willed it.
Well, I wish I hadn't and  I don't know why it did.
First of all I pushed my luck and went to a place where I had never been totally welcomed by the staff. I stayed away for nearly six months and decided to try it again. Wrong idea. I made a quick bathroom trip and 15 minutes later was paid a visit by a female cop. She was nice enough as she told me there was a complaint lodged against me. Use the men's room...right.
I said I was leaving anyway and no problem. Should have known better. The whole area is a "redneck" suburb and not normally where I go. Guess where I won't be going in the future!
By this time I was a little off kilter and made a decision to head to one of my "semi safe places" Went in,sat down and was nearly laughed away by these two guys sitting close to me.
What the hell? I had gone literally months of trouble free existence.  Either I was not comfortable with my girlself yesterday or I had a bad run with several individuals who happened to notice I was trans and cared.
Obviously this run of bad luck is not my first. Ironically similar situations arose when I was a blond before.
Life was good until somehow, someway I crashed it.
Decisions, decisions.  Do I stay blond or go dark again?
I work in guy drag this week ( a lot) so I will have sometime to consider which direction I may go.
One of my major concerns is that I'm missing something all of the sudden.Of course I know the gender transition without hormones or surgery is a combination of three parts. You have to be as skillful as you can be with your style, makeup etc. You have to network yourself as trans most of the time and try to put yourself in the right places. Most importantly, you have to have the confidence to be who you are.
As I look back on the debacle, the only difference in number one was my hair color. I was wearing flats, jeans and a black jacket. Nothing outlandish. Number two I trashed by trying to expand my network where I shouldn't. Number two certainly could have affected three.
I'll be playing the numbers later this week!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

The Seeds Of Hate

The seeds of hate are nourished by confusion and ignorance. Not an earth shattering statement to be sure but I saw it up and close and personal the other night.
I've seen this guy notice me a couple times in one of the places I go. There is no real secret there of my past so I believe he knows I'm trans.
The last time I saw him, our eyes locked for a few seconds (which I try never to do). I think I saw the hint of confusion in him. Did he find me attractive. If he did what were the feelings he was dealing with? Unfairly I looked at him as a overly macho, redneck guy.I know as little about him as he knows about me.
I began to think. Is this where it all starts. The confusion over looks and an ignorance of what it means?
We all know a simple act of aggression is a male reaction to some problems.
The simple act of aggression can easily turn into a hate crime.
Thank God she hasn't challenged with me that yet and thank God for the really nice female friends who go out of their way to make me feel welcome!
Simple meetings such as that can only make me imagine what torture the truly attractive transgendered women go through.  Telling a man up front is the right thing to do for sure. 
Craving attention and hating loneliness shouldn't be a sin either. Being beaten or worse yet killed for hiding the truth are terrible.
I believe I may seen just a small part of that road the other night.

There Is Progress!

Here are a couple of "feel good" stories.
The first comes form "Jacqueline White" at the "StarTribune"
Here is an excerpt,
"It sounds like a great set-up for drama: My spouse, Marcus, who used to be Margery, goes back to the college he attended as a woman, which happens to be a women's college, Mount Holyoke.
How will the alumnae respond when one of their own shows up at their 25th reunion as a man?
The drama turned out to be a nonstory. Of course some classmates did initially --understandably -- look to me as the presumed alumna.
The worst thing to happen was that one person laughed when Marcus showed up at the registration table claiming to be a graduate. But he still got a registration packet.
When he took his turn saying a few words about what he'd been up to since he graduated, his classmates responded with hearty applause. And guess what?
Other than his gender transition, what Marcus had been up to was not all that different from what his classmates had been up to. He got established in his career, bought a house, served on some nonprofit boards, got married and adopted our daughter."
"In the end, he turned out to be just another guy with a receding hairline reminiscing at his 25th college reunion."
Unfortunately, Marcus's story does not take into consideration the 63% of transgendered individuals who have experienced simple to severe bias in their lives. (2011 National Transgender Discrimination Survey) .
The difference it seems is largely based in how the family accepts the gender transition.
The next story is an excerpt from a continuing one you have probably heard of.
From the "Mother Company" comes part two in a story called "Raising a Boy in Pink".
Son "Sam" suddenly announced he wanted to wear a pink dress to school and here is part of the reaction.
The parents coached Sam on what to say to the children at preschool who might tease him. They role-played things he could say back to them. They talked about how much teasing can hurt, but that teasing is wrong. At that morning’s school drop-off, Mom's faith in Sam moved up a notch when he announced to his teacher, “Look at my pretty dress! No one is allowed to make fun of me.”
After school, Sam beamed as he reported that his teachers had said they liked his dress, and the other four-year-olds had said he looked pretty. But the kids in the five-year-old class teased him and told him that “boys can’t wear dresses,” and that he “must not be a boy.”
“What did you say back?” I asked. “I said, ‘Don’t make fun of me! I can be a boy and wear a dress, because it is my choice!’”
Enough (and more than enough) said!

The Final Stand? Or Sit?

In a bathroom?
Who would have "thunk it"? The great gender battles we are seeing about the use of bathrooms?
Quite possibly "it's" the biggest bathroom experience a transgender person faces in life after learning to use it in the first place.
Using the "line in the sand" reference and linking it to a cat box is appropriate. If a person who resents you for being transgendered has no other recourse, the bathroom is the last resort for protest.
It has happened to me. I've written about the woman who resented my presence period. She got me barred from a woman's room for a period of time.
I was accepted by the other patrons and caused absolutely no trouble but that was not good enough for her.
Am I missing something? Maybe the release of body waste is a highly personal matter to women?
It certainly hasn't been to the women I've seen use the men's room at certain concerts and sporting events I've attended as a guy.
Just another double standard? The men's room is much more open to viewing whatever than the women's room. "Me" thinks it is a double standard!
I've heard the chatter in the "sanctuary" and discovered no top secret CIA information. That idea is out. The women discussing those guys wouldn't have cared if "Larry King" was standing there.
On the other hand I'm careful to cherish and protect my restroom pass! I tidy up after my self and get in and out.
If the restroom is where the conservative genderists want to draw the line, we all need to do our best not to have it drawn in front of us!
Finally.... OMG sit down to pee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, June 24, 2011

Navajo Dine'

NPR is running a story on "Michelle Enfield" a transgendered woman from Los Angeles.
Michelle is part of the Navajo nation. She has been on hormone replacement therapy since 1997 and recounts the story of her family accepting her. Here is an excerpt:
My family had already been accepting of me through all the different stages of my life because as a Dine' (Navajo), our people see LGBT individuals as having many healing energies.
I have been discriminated against; I've been sexually and physically abused; I've loved and have been loved. Learning to take care of myself emotionally requires me to be happy with all of me. I must accept and learn from all of my experiences because they make me who I am today.
Michelle Enfield

I have said before how fascinated I am with the Dine' and their culture.

Different Strokes For....

I'm presenting a montage of pictures just a bit out of our blog comfort zone!

The first is "Bailey Jay"  transsexual porn star who alluded to the fact she looks like this because she always wanted to and it just happened.
Sure Bailey, and porn is "PG" rated!

"Nomi Ruiz" pictured left is a Brooklyn born singer/songwriter.
As is the case with many of us, Nomi knew she should be a girl at a very early age.

Last and least is a picture of "Weird Al" Yankovic doing "Lady Gaga". Actually it's Al's face pasted on a girls body. He should have gone all the way! Come on Al!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Gabrielle Rivera :"It's Not Getting Any Better"

The much publicized campaign ("It Gets Better") aimed at LGBT youth is indeed a wonderful message. In the midst of the celebration of the victories the community has won, at least one voice is reminding all of us who far we have to go..or is she?
Bronx poet Gabrielle Rivera, said  “No, it doesn’t get better—but you do get stronger.” Has she been living under a rock? I believe it has gotten much better. No way in my youth could I have gained the acceptance I have now.
Gabrielle Rivera is right in that I am stronger and happier.
I certainly understand the gains are sometimes temporary and hard fought.  At least now when a public person takes aim at our community, there is a backlash.
Gabrielle Rivera must spend no time with kids. More and more care less and less about traditional gender roles. Much of my most positive feedback comes from "20 somethings"
On a personal level I need to get stronger. I should have made the effort the other day to say something to the woman with that stupid smirk on her face and I should done a better job of correcting a trans slur at work.  But hey, I'm trying and I will get better because we have a long way to go!
I know people in NYC feel their world is one of the only relevant ones that exist before you get to the west coast.  Gabrielle Rivera needs to get out and see it!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Vanity Rules The Night!

If the truth be told. I did come home last night and changed outfits for the first time in years.
The evening began with my "blond on black" look. A wonderful thigh high black flared skirt with a black camisole and a tie off sheer top.  It's a very cool outfit to wear on a hot summer day.
I wore a comfortable pair of flats and headed out to do a little afternoon shopping before I went to my favorite hangouts. My stroll through the mall and a couple specialty stores was very uneventful
I did know for sure one woman read me. Other than her nothing.
The first place I went is perfect for the outfit.  I've written about it quite a bit. Many upscale professional women frequent the pub so I fit in well. Very well I think to the guy who sat next to me who kept a close eye on my crossed bare legs.
Didn't stay long and took off to see the upgrade in another spot I go.  Visited with an older gentleman who is very nice and played a little trivia with him and took off.  My highlight had to be a "Hi" from one of the other regulars who had never spoken to me!
The night was still relatively young and I considered making one more stop at a place close to home. The problem was I was terribly over dressed so I did stop home and change to a comfortable pair of jeans and flip flops.
I suppose it could have been vanity but comfort was a factor. 
The wind kicked up and gave me a real casual "wind blown" look. I know for sure one guy I'm not sure!

A Day of Thanks!

The world goes by so fast.
Days into weeks, weeks into know the rest.
At some point in time a past due thanks needs to be sent out.
Thanks to all of you who read the blog!
Thanks to all who stop by to just check on me when I'm out.
Thanks for the opportunity to do it all!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

You Are What You Wear

Recently, we've celebrated heels, argued over hose and discussed mascara running over a sad chick flick.
All relevant topics in a huge screwed up world...Right?
Well, maybe not so much.  All of the topics however are very relevant to your own personal style.
If you are the mini in heels girl in the mall you need to own it as completely as the country girl in jeans and boots at the bar.
I have written in depth on my style which I call vintage hippie. Jeans, frilly tops and even shorter skirts are the basis of my style. I own it and it's who I am.
My current long blond hair actually reflects my age.  It's not too blond and is "used". What I mean is the hair actually resembles a woman my age.  The years of perms, styling and dieing show through.

All of that is all well and good but why am I agonizing over what I'm going to wear tonight?
It's very warm and muggy so I could wear a skirt. I could wear jeans and an off the shoulder top with my long off the shoulder bag or even dress the whole outfit up with heels and a tie off top? My destination tonight is full of women dressed all different ways so a specific look doesn't enter in to it.
As I like to say it's a game time decision.
What ever the style choice I make, the most important decision is to own it!

Chick Flicks?

Last night I actually stayed home and (as you can tell) blasted the blog!
Finally sleepiness fell in and I settled into to watch part of a movie before I went to sleep.
I chose a quiet fairly current "chick" flick film.  Never been really interested in them...should be able to sleep.
Except last night. I couldn't put the movie down mentally. I got soooo involved.
The movie ended and I did get to sleep and did my usual work gig today.  In the middle of it all today the realization struck me subconsciously I had crossed another gender line.
With no hormones.  Should this being happening this way?
What's next? Curling up with ice cream and a box of tissues?

Monday, June 20, 2011

Fathers? Day?

I realize we have a lot of readers here on the blog in all phases of transition to their chosen gender. Some are moving Dad to Mom essentially, others from Mom to Dad.
I have written several times I am out to my daughter so it is a non issue. Then again it isn't. First and foremost, I'm verbally out. Telling a person close to you that you are transgendered is much different than them seeing you. The next level of coming out to her will probably happen soon as I reach out to her about a few blog technology questions. When and if she reads this she will surely have a better understanding of my life.
I do however feel I will be Dad to her forever even as I transition further.
On a wider scale, Father's Day has never had the significance of Mother's Day anyhow. Dad gets a thank you, a small gift and the day comes and goes.
Perhaps that alone makes the day easier?
I'm sure it's a tragic day for those who have been severed from their family. Mom or Dad are words who don't matter when you are a parent first and foremost.
No matter where you are on the transgendered family spectrum, hopefully your day was good!

Just Had To...

I just had to pass this photo along from "Femulate".
The "Wow" factor of Australia's " Courtney Act is amazing.
Courtney is the person who auditioned for an Australian talent show as a guy and was turned down. She came back the next day as a girl and made the cut.
Wonder why?
Thanks Stana for a wonderful picture!

Girl Power

As I slid into a pair of long neglected heels the other day, I wondered why I had shunned them.
Sure they are uncomfortable to me and other women they say.  Women are"just paying the price for fashion". Ha!
As I went through the evening, I relearned what all women know. Heels possess a mystical power. Sure, the  ways heels improve your legs and butt are a certainty.
Maybe not so documented is the way men are attracted to the mere sound of the click of heels on a floor.
I did kick my heels off for a barefoot trip in the rain. I did though immensely enjoy standing straight and tall in a pair of heels who lived neglected in the back of my closet. Walking slowly and surely through a room in heels is empowering.
I need to feel more of the power!

Dial "Rose" For Advice

Rose Venkatesan, who shot to notice four years ago as India's first transgender television chat show host now is hosting her own call in advice show.
I wonder if I have unlimited international minutes on my new cell phone ( I still don't understand) and I could call?
Rose, I have a question.
If I decide to place even less importance in my religious background (which happens to be Christian) and more emphasis on an ancient Native American sprituality which recognizes 4 genders...Am I better off?
Rose would probably answer "Cyrsti, all that matters is how you feel about it."
Of course I'm fascinated in learning more about a culture such as the Navajo. In a previous post, I wrote how their ancients believed in 4 genders and elevating individuals who possessed these traits.
Personally, I wonder if any of this effects me. I believe it's a wonderful explanation of how I can feel so feminine yet not desire the complete sexual reassignment surgery.
I've often wondered why I've never completely possessed a notion I was trapped in a male body and my being would not be complete until my genders were aligned. Perhaps my being was trying to tell me I was both?
Without becoming too deep, I wonder how all of this works with the demise of my male soul. Is he still there just feminized somehow?
Finally (for this post) how does this gender evolve fit in with the basic fact I used to feel a strong fetish involvement with female clothing. Did the ancients believe it would have been a manifestation of the female soul trying to express herself and the male soul reacting to it?
Maybe "Rose" could provide an insight? She is Hindu I assume and I don't know how her religion approaches transgendered humans.
The only real answer should come from the Navajo themselves. Unfortunately a 16 year old dual gendered boy was murdered in their culture. One act does not doom a whole culture but it does seem to make them more inaccessible.
The only answer comes from me it seems. Sorry Rose.  I can save my international minutes.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Barefoot in the ????

I decided to change my plans a bit last night.
I wore heels (with my jeans) and changed where I went...somewhat.
The goal was to get out of the comfort zone and see what the world had to offer.
All went well until I had to make a quick bathroom stop.  I remembered one of the big box stores on the way has very accessible bathrooms as you come in the store. On top of all of this, it was pouring down rain and I had kicked off my heels as I made the 20 min drive.
Fortunately, as I pulled up in front of the store it was later in the evening and only a few people were waiting to run to their cars.
Desperate times call for desperate measures and I decided quickly to pull up in the loading zone and run in barefoot.  No one could have really told I had no shoes because my jeans covered all but a few painted toes.
I have no idea what the guy thought as I hustled by and into the women's room. I did make it with no disaster and he and wife didn't give me a second look on the way out.
Interestingly, going barefoot in any situation is totally out in my guy life. Believe me I don't condone barefoot restroom trips at all. 
I just would have liked to know what the man thought about the tall blond who rushed out of the rain... past him and into the restroom.  One way or another I probably made his evening a little less mundane!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

I Don't Get Out Much...Or Not Enough?

I have to admit I'm not the biggest fan of MTV;s "America's Best Dance Crew". I didn't know Leiomy (center above) "Mizrahi" Maldonaldo is the transgender principal diva at the center of Vogue Evolution, and has showed America just how far voguing has come since Madonna paid tribute and "Paris Is Burning" scorched movie screens.Now you are going to ask me what "voguing" means????

Flying Under the Radar.

We are a transgendered community noted for going "stealth".
The goal for so many of transgendered individuals is to attain a level of comfort in their chosen gender and simply disappear into society. The man or woman next door may be a transsexual and you would never know it...Wonderful, a terrific transgendered success story.
The whole "stealth" situation is a complete win for the transgendered person and I respect it. Why shouldn't they be allowed to live a complete "normal" life?
I used to believe there were too many "stealth" individuals in the transgendered community. Too few role models to help the younger individuals.
Fortunately the situation is beginning to change.  Transgendered individuals are stepping out of the shadows to explain who we really are as a culture.
In the preceding post I wrote about a new documentary on the "Style Channel" as one example. 
The public has seen the "Alexis Arquette's" (above)  of the world. Unfortunately, Alexis doesn't represent me or probably you well. Her media "wow" factor probably hasn't inspired many gender confused teens to run for school council.
On the other hand the transgendered woman in Spain who was just elected to a regional parliament does.
Compounding all these problems is the "L" (looks) factor. The trials and tribulations we all go through to present convincingly as our chosen gender. The fact of the matter is we all want to be viewed as "attractive". It's just human nature.
More importantly though, we need to be viewed as how we feel. Sure it takes courage and perseverance for a transgendered person to take the first awkward steps as a woman or a man.
The true heroine/hero in all of this is the person who steps out of "stealth" and says I started where you are. The finished product you see was not easy to achieve but you can get there.
I get the question frequently "do you think I can pass?"
Everyone can on a certain level if they are not passing.  When they become the person they are striving to be, they move away from the "Show Biz Arquette's" and into the real world. You stop passing  and start being.
Maybe some day in the future when that happens they will step out of stealth and pass forward their knowledge to someone who desperately needs it!

Programming Note

If you are like me, you have a television that offers a million programs. Most with nothing on.
I do enjoy the various "makeover" shows.  The shows often provide a tip or two on how to improve my overall appearance.
On occasion I'm stunned by the improvement some of the women attain. Then again, I'm equally stunned when the woman looks like she just walked off a drag show stage.
One show was notable when the "makeover" was so improved you could see her friends develop a huge dose of feminine jealousy. She knew she was hot. They knew she was hot and they weren't sure she was going to be a friend much longer. You could see the claws starting to come out. The show was a classic!
Coming up in July, The "Style Network" is featuring a documentary of interest to transgendered people everywhere. "Born Male, Living Female" will air on July 16th. Follow this link to the "Futon Critic" for more information.
Of particular interest is the stated objective of the series.  "Katie Buchanan" a senior VP at the network said:
 "Each installment will speak directly to Style's core audience of young women, presenting them with engaging, informative and sometimes controversial subject matters that we hope will challenge them to understand a different point of view."
Hopefully this documentary will encourage young women everywhere to have a better understanding of their transgendered sisters. 
I'm not naive enough to think transgendered programming is good for ratings. I am however encouraged when the program presents us in an educational realistic light!

Becoming a Non Issue?

I had a quick follow up idea of the gay population becoming a "non issue" in nearby Columbus.
Maybe I have become a non issue in the places I frequent so much. I'm just part of the woodwork like the rest of the regulars.
Just a throw back to the old "Cheers" TV Show.
Perhaps "Norm" ( a regular Cheers patron) will buy me a beer like the other regulars?
Certainly, becoming a non issue wasn't exactly the plan but living as a girl was..and this works! Pull up a stool and lets watch the game!

The LGBT Heart of it All!

When you think of Columbus, Ohio you probably think it's yet another mid sized Midwestern conservative city. You may know it as the capital of Ohio and the home of "The Ohio State University".
What you probably didn't know is that Columbus, Ohio is one of the most open gay cities in the country. Columbus measures over 50,000 gays in their population. A higher percentage than Chicago.
For those of us who are life long Ohioans, we know "C-bus" (as it's called) is a different world from the other other larger cities in the state.
30 years following the cities first Pride March, a publication called "614" recently featured an article called "Why Is Columbus So Gay?"  Consider the first pride participants wore bags over their heads to hide their identity. Today companies pay to advertise in the parade!
Writer Travis Hoewischer  does an excellent job of explaining how an ever increasing gay population has helped to "gentrify" decaying urban neighborhoods and has become an economic and political force.
Being gay in Columbus has become a non issue.A year or so ago Ohio State hosted a huge "Andy Warhol" exhibit. On one of the Sunday's men were encouraged to come in "drag"! Really.
Follow the link and read the article. Forget San Fransisco and check out Columbus!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Araguz To The Supreme Court?

Texas widow "Nikki Araguz" must sit and wonder what a long strange trip it's been.
From the talk show circuit as a young transgendered woman to a marriage in Texas that ended tragically in her husband's death...she seems to be always on some sort of hot seat.
She lost her court case to claim death benefits in Texas and now is considering taking the case to the Supreme Court.
How does a person do this?
John Wright from the "" provided some insight.
"Nikki Araguz, who until now has been represented by Frye & Associations, said she expects Katine & Nechman will partner with national LGBT advocacy groups on the appeal.
Araguz said she chose to switch law firms because the high-profile case could have broad implications for transgender equality, possibly addressing fundamental legal questions about how gender is determined.
“I think that collaborating with multiple national organizations’ legal teams, and the Supreme Court experience of Mitchell Katine, is the better way to go for the greater good of everyone who’s going to be affected by the outcome of this case,” Araguz said this week in an interview with Dallas Voice."
From this statement I gather you go high power legal with backing from national groups and go to court.
On a purely personal level, I never forgot "Nikki's" appearance on Springer years ago explaining her oral sex act with a guy.
On the other hand I agree with her opinion all of this may have or could have far reaching considerations. Certainly governments have legislated gender. It's time for the highest court in the land to decide why they shouldn't.
Copacetic? The word nearly sounds like a new mouth wash.
Then again it means so much more to me these days.
I can tell you I have never been in this situation before. My constant internal gender battle has subsided.
I can also tell you I'm not sure I'm not in the calm eye of a storm.
For the meantime it's been a peaceful break.
Perhaps it's because I'm starting to finally realize this not the old me. I don't have to wait days or even weeks to externally appear as the person I want to be.
I do not have to suffer bouts of paranoia about being accepted in society.
I do know none of this is permanent. Everything and everyone suffers highs and lows.  The wonderful part of all of this is I'm not on a high.
I seemed have reached another level of gender awareness. Rather than running out and looking for the next, it feels good to stay here for awhile!

"Driving my Ol 55"

I discovered a couple nights ago how you just can't take the hippie out of the girl.
On the way to meet a friend I happened to glance in the rear view mirror and saw this girl with long straight blond hair looking back at me. I happened to be wearing my favorite worn out bell bottoms and a frilly black sheer top. I was even wearing my "peace sign" ring. I definitely did know the woman in the mirror!
She reminded me of an older version of women I admired during my "hippie" days
I turned my attention back to the road and as the summer sun was setting I flashed back on a relatively obscure 1974 "Eagle's" tune. It was from their  "On the Border" album. It was called the "Ol 55"  The song essentially was about a guy heading home in his old pickup truck on a busy highway. Here I was years later driving down a busy interstate in a small pickup truck. He was heading home at dawn and I was heading out at sunset. Differences to be sure but close enough for a mystical connection.
I never will have the chance and go back and be the blond haired girl riding beside a guy in an old pickup truck. Just for a magic moment my rear view mirror gave me a chance to think it was possible!

"Han's" Down, She's Got It!

From the "The Wall Street Journal" (really)..." The South Korean media almost never miss the story when a Korean, or someone of Korean descent in another country, wins an international competition."
According to "Evan Ramstad"  Han Min i didn’t get much attention for winning the 2010 Miss International Queen Crown in Pattaya, Thailand, last fall. The beauty contest is for transgender/transsexual contestants and went mostly ignored in South Korea's conservative press.
All of that is about to change with the first issue of "Yahae!"
The publication will publish a set of stories on sexual minorities in Korea and will feature Han Min i as a cover girl.
As of now we still can't claim an American transgendered cover girl star.
"Lea T" is from Brazil, "Andrej Pejic" is from Serbia initially and the latest rising star "Valentijn de Hingh" is Dutch.
It's time!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

New Friends and New Ideas

I met a friend in person for the first time last night and she shared her thoughts on being on female hormones for a year.
Most of her thoughts I had heard before. It was really nice to hear them from a voice.  She felt the changes were more profound from a mental point of view. Sure her skin changed and she developed her own noticeable breasts.
We talked about the changes in perception she had gone through on an emotional level primarily.
The conversation moved on to actually having the opportunity to join the sorority, even on a temporary basis. Any small glimpse into the "other" gender will give you a definite idea if you want to continue to join the sorority.
"Jezebel's" Melissa Jeltson recently wrote an article describing how her best male friend became her best girl friend. 
Very important gender issues such as space and power are discussed in the article. Here is a sample.
"Juno's experience as a woman is so new. Over dinner and wine, we talk about what it means to identify as female. She tells me of the first time she experienced female jealously, felt the piercing glare from another girl, wracked with envy. She tells me about feeling a loss of personal space as a woman, of having to protect the area around her body in a way she never had to as a man."
So real! Men reach over and around me in a way that would never happen if I was a guy.
On the other hand the positives of being more in touch with your body are also discussed." She tells me about feeling the power of being a woman, how the world can be gentler to you, people smile at you more, treat you kinder. She says physically, she feels more relaxed and engaged with her body."
I am more in touch with my body already without the hormones. The different curves I have give me a completely different feel of the environment  Close spaces need to be negotiated different or a breast bump on an object or person is not out of the question! Sure guys may not mind it but it certainly is awkward.  Let's not forget the totally different dynamic of wearing a skirt. A skirt alone will make you very more aware of your body.
I agree the world is a kinder, gentler place as a girl...even a trans one such as I!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Picture Panic!

The new techno girl Cyrsti has a new "Android" phone. Talk about feeling backwards!
I finally figured out how to actually answer a call and more importantly text.
I'm a text "addict" and I look forward to seeing how the phone works with my nails.
Texting works well for me in the noisy places I hang out in.
I don't like the fact a mere phrase can be taken out of context though.
I have written about about the cell phone as an accessory. Now I can use it as better access to by blog and social media such as Facebook and Twitter.
If I can only figure out to use it!

Paying Attention?

I decided to split these two small posts up because I did "come out" to the female friend I mentioned tonight.
She is a dear "long term" friend and I really wasn't planning on saying anything.
The meeting we attended partially involved planning the future. As we talked about the future, I just had to tell her mine.
As I figured, she took it in stride and said "so what?" I had much more trouble telling her.
Now I have told almost all of the people I care about being transgendered.  What a relief!!!!

Who Wears The Pants?

Very rarely do I ever attempt to dress up a much as a guy.
I do my guy drag to go to work and other than that I just don't need male attire very often.
Tonight was one of those nights I was meeting a female (birth) friend who at the start of the evening knew nothing about me being transgendered. We were going to a meeting that required a male clothing upgrade.
It really wasn't until I started to go through the closet did it occur to me how neglected my male clothes are!
No real surprise as I started to think about it. The only real surprise was that I hadn't thought of it before.

"Two Spirits" and Four Genders.

Independent Lens   ("PBS") is airing a documentary on the brief life of  Fred Martinez. Martinez was one of the youngest hate-crime victims in modern history when he was brutally murdered at 16. Two Spirits explores the life and death of a boy who was also a girl, and the essentially spiritual nature of gender.Fred Martinez was "Navajo" one of the native American ancient cultures that believed people who integrated genders were indeed special.
In Navajo culture there are actually four genders and other groups recognize more. The site actually provides background into these beliefs.
I don't have to tell you the respect I have for the ancient cultures who knew what we know.  Any inside view of both genders at all  should enable us to be better humans
We of course have interaction problems with society which distorts our view. People who fear or hate us suffer from their own distortions. It is very easy to blame several "pseudo" religious groups in particular for distortions that lead to terrible stories such as Fred Martinez.
We as transgendered humans need to embrace the Two Spirits culture.
That does not mean to "turn the other cheek" to society.  It is our responsibility to share our knowledge with others and not hide behind our skirts

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

No One Cared!

Nothing to write about. A whole evening of hanging out as a girl. No reaction from anyone. Just one guy who I see quite a bit was looking me up and down. My outfit? Conservative but breast dominated.  My favorite jeans, black jacket and thin decorated white tee...Nothing sexy to write about though.
I have a very difficult time adjusting to all of this. The inner voice that says any second someone is going to approach and say "You look great...for a guy dressed as a woman."
Nothing similar to that happened or has happened for a while.
I even had to stand in line for a stall in a woman's room last night...nothing from any of the other women. (Is  standing with my legs crossed girly enough?)
Could I have nothing to write about again? I hope so.
My journey is far from over I know. As the small battles become few, crossing the gender line and winning the war is in view.
What will I write about then?

Monday, June 13, 2011

On the Fun Side!

I really get tired sometimes of all the "heavy" ideas and happenings of living a transgendered life.
Here's a funny little story.
A week or so ago I was out making my rounds. Blond and beautiful (in my dreams) in my short black skirt and flip flops I slid out of my vehicle and started to walk towards a store.  Without really looking around, I noticed a darned quarter on the ground by the car. Being the thrifty person I am I dove for it. On my way down I quickly remembered what I was wearing and maybe picking up the quarter wasn't such a good idea.  No problem, no one around anyway. WRONG! I picked up the coin and looked straight into the eyes of a man who happened upon the scene. (of course)
From the bemused look on his face, I had no idea of what he thought,
I only know I quickly recovered my dignity and made my way to the store. My only redeeming value came from the fact I was wearing sunglasses. He couldn't see the shock in my eyes!
Lesson learned...wear the skirt and leave the change alone!

"Mo" VA

I just wanted to pass along  more thoughts about the VA transgendered directive.As it turns out "Billie" (one of our readers) got the ball rolling when she said "I would be suspicious of the "mental health" facet! The government has been known to give free frontal lobotomies too!"
Ironically, following a level of euphoria, I experienced  trepidation and then suspicion.
I explained the euphoria earlier. All of a sudden this great big door opened to a room I thought was impossible to enter. Then again, I had previously stuck my foot in the door. Before I could be subscribed a certain med, I had to talk to a VA "shrink" and a counselor. I seriously considered telling them of my transgendered leanings then but didn't. The new directive should change any adverse reaction on their part and give me a possible direction...hormones.
By that time trepidation was sneaking into my consciousness. I was afraid yet excited. Now what? Is it finally time to take this to a new level? What the hell am I waiting for. I wake up every morning with the desire to have my own breasts. Nearly everyone in my life who matters knows of my life as a girl.
Then I thought "what if this isn't real?" It's a government agency for goodness sakes. Like "Billie" said the same group that brought us frontal lobotomies.
I went back to research more and the directive is real.
"VA provides health care for transgender patients, including
those who present at various points on their transition from one
gender to the next. This applies to all Veterans who are enrolled in
VA's health care system or who are otherwise eligible for VA care,
including: those who have had sex reassignment surgery outside of VHA,
those who might be considering such surgical intervention, and those
who do not wish to undergo sex reassignment surgery, but self-identify
as transgender. Intersex individuals may or may not have interest in
changing gender or in acting in ways that are discordant with their
assigned gender."
The VHA Directive is entitled Providing Health Care For
Transgender And Intersex Veterans
<> ,
So there it is in black and white.
Certainly I'm not running down to my local VA clinic in the morning.
I will however, follow all aspects of this directive. Will there be a right wing back lash?  Will other veteran's groups protest. Will it matter?
In the meantime, hopefully "euphoria" will triumph in my life!
If "Karma" is at work here. She sent me a powerful message!

Sunday, June 12, 2011


The Veteran's Administration (VA) recently released this statement concerning transgendered vets. I am a a transgendered vet. This statement could certainly change my life! I will add more later!
From the "Sacramento Bee"
The Veterans Health Administration has informed its hospitals and clinics that transgender veterans are eligible for hormones, care before and after gender change surgery, and mental health counseling as part of their regular benefits.
In a directive issued Thursday, the VA reiterated that its facilities are not permitted to perform genital or breast surgeries on veterans in the process of changing genders.
But the agency confirmed that transgender patients are entitled to routine health care that takes their special needs into account and to transgender-specific treatments such as hormone therapy and "non-surgical, supportive care for complications of sex-reassignment surgery."

The Best Message Ever!

I returned home tonight from a wonderful short evening. I tried the "Blond on Black" look again and I seem to be making huge strides as a girl.
When the computer fired up I received this message from one of the dating sites I am on from a woman I presume.
"Hello. I have a few Transgender friends. The only issue I have is your lighting on your photos. Can't show off true beauty with out better lighting. I am a minister. I specialize in Gay, Lesbian and Transgender issues. One of which is the over holy bible thumpers need to shut up and stop speaking for God. The bible is a collection of stories written by man for man. Not written by God.
I hate gender typing. You have to do this or that. One of my friends that is Transgender is dating a woman and trying to act like a man. I say Michael you were born a girl in a mans body. You are more woman than I am. She knew who you were before she dated you. You walk like a duck quack like a duck and say you are a duck. Why the hell is she trying to make you a chicken.
SO hello."
First off, I sent her back a message less than nice.
Then I got to thinking...what a wonderful message!
Lighting, religion and a trans friend. I really need to talk to her!!!
I sent her a second message a bit more civil but no less sane.
We will see what happens!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Girl's Night Out?

Over the last several years I have wanted to spend some time out with another transgendered girl who  fits my style. So far I have encountered no one who fits the criteria. (Before you label me a on)
You ask "criteria"? Is Cyrsti accepting applications? No, but there are parameters. 
I have several crossdressers who play with the idea.There is absolutely nothing wrong with a part time crossdresser but 99% of the time you don't have the expertise to go out in the real public. It's a tough crowd out there and what would your wife say? Scratch them off the list. I just can't risk my little network of places I go... sorry. Just because I'm accepted doesn't mean both of us can be. I've worked very hard to be as presentable as I can possibly be. You can't just appear and expect me to work magic on you....sorry again.
How about a pre opt or post opt woman? I'm not woman enough for them. I'm just a little too edgy for a person who has gone as far as they have to change their life. In many ways, I'm as foreign to them as the weekend crossdresser is to me.
Let's toss lesbians into the picture. On some levels we are fascinated with each other and I have a few friends I hang out with. On most levels though, there just isn't a connection. That's OK I understand.
Men are another story. A long one and not part of this discussion. The ideal here is to spend girl time and have them buy the drinks.
By this are saying "damn! what does the crazy bitch want?"
The answer is easy and impossible. I'm looking for a presentable fun person to enjoy some time with.I can provide the experience with the public if she can provide the personality and pizazz.
Yes, so far this seems impossible. Remember though, I'm talking ideal. I'm really fortunate to be able to live as I do and I thank God she has enabled me to do it.
You can't win though if you don't try.
I love all my friends now and wouldn't trade them for the world. They know my restless spirit and realize I have to look around that next corner to see who is there!
I can't wait to go out and talk, shop and party with a girl who shares my interests.
Maybe she is around the next corner!

The Finishing Touch!

You've searched for weeks for the perfect outfit. Doesn't really matter if you found it at an upscale department store, a fashion boutique or a thrift store. You love it!
You run home as the anticipation builds. Can't wait to step in front of the mirror. The magic moment comes's not at all what you thought it would be. What's a girl to do?
Accessorize!   Accessories are a girls best friend or enemy.  They give you that unique style that screams class or panache. Unfortunately the scream could also be coming from a low class horror show.
What are accessories? Jewelry, belts and shoes are the obvious answers. Throw in a great bag, sunglasses and even a cell phone and you are having girl fun!
The past couple of summers I have positively fallen in love with sunglasses as an accessory.  I discovered several of the deep discount and thrift stores sell many styles. For a mere two or three bucks I can buy a pair of "shades" that are tinted a blue or yellow to match my top. My "best" find so far is a pair that have a little heart on one of the lenses. Now I can match my name!
As night falls I move my glasses up on my head as another accessory, I try to work them together with my earrings and necklace. 
Using a cellphone as an accessory may be a stretch...then again maybe not.I'm sure you've seen women who have fancy smart phone they are always playing with. A cell phone always gives the illusion that somehow you aren't alone. A nice one just might indicate you have a little higher income and could be a little smarter!
I may be different from many of you because I don't obsess with shoes. I have the obligatory flats, heels, boots and flip flops. I have very little extra finances so I would prefer to buy a really out of this world bag!
Accessories can prove quickly that less is more. You have arrived as an "fashionista" when your accessories compliment and not dominate your outfits.
One thing is certain, accessories separate the women from the girls!

Transgender News Blitz

 Every once in a while I feel like the editor of the evening news. In the last several posts we have bounced around the world. News from the UK, and France in addition to a not so pleasant story from Connecticut.

Spain is our next stop with a quick story from ""
"Carla Antonelli" (shown to the right) was sworn in Tuesday and became the first transsexual woman to hold a seat in a regional Spanish parliament. She said her election was the result of long struggles by thousands of transsexuals..

Our next story comes from North Carolina. A very "edgy" publication called "Vice"  profiled "Hillary" a transsexual skateboarder. As I read the article, I wasn't expecting much. The farther I read the more impressed I became.
Here's an excerpt from "Chris Nieratkos":
"I both loved and pitied the girl I met down there. So much of skateboarding has become so vanilla and boring that my heart sings on the rare occasions when I meet someone marching to their own beat, and to me, there’s nothing more punk rock than being a transsexual skateboarder. That comes with a lot of headaches, though. Inner turmoil. Alienation. Fear. Loneliness. When I met Hillary she was going through all these things and more, and you can feel it in her interview. It took over an hour of talking over coffee before she let her guard down and warmed up to me.
All of this is very new to Hillary, and she’s still learning to deal with her change and to be comfortable around her old friends in her skate community. I think this interview will help speed that along. She’s young. I think in two years she’ll be more at ease with herself. In five or ten years I can see her blossoming into a happy, confident young lady."
Very nice!
Before we move on. Let me explain "edgy". Here's another look at "Vice's Girl News and Why They Hate Each Other". "If you think that things are good for women because you liked Bridesmaids and bought the new Beyonce song/lie about girls running things (sure about that, B?) and follow that one brown comedian chick on Twitter, then I have to ask you if you’re f---ing retarded and didn’t notice that almost every single thing as it relates to girls is still the worst."

Thursday, June 9, 2011

All Publicity is NOT Good Publicity

From Stamford, Connecticut comes a story which occurred at the exact wrong time.
The "Stamford Times" covered this story  "

Transvestite arrested for alleged sex assault 

 "Isaiah Johnson"





  " Police said a transvestite from Stamford ( Isaiah Johnson) was arrested early Wednesday morning for allegedly sexually assaulting a Stamford  teenager with special needs."  

All of this is bad enough. When you take into consideration Connecticut just rejected legislation to restrict "transvestite" males from using women's restroom facilities. It makes it all so very worse. (Please note the use of the transvestite word is not mine.)

Check out this response to the story!

"Just to think that the Connecticut Senate recently rejected an amendment for HB6599, to restrict transvestite males (biologically) from entering men's bathrooms.(He corrected it to "women's") Unfortunately the democrat majority wants transvestite males in women's rooms! I hope they take warning, doesn't mean transvestites are predators but its the principle and the potential of these incidents. Sad that most of you haven''t even heard of this yet." OUCH!

I know (and you know) this is apples and oranges to the great majority of us that do use the women's bathrooms. The closest to a sexual experience I've ever seen is a woman suggesting something to me.  I do cherish and try to respect my use of restrooms. 

None of us need this! 

Transgender Weight Loss Infomercial!

As you all know I'm  a avid groupie of "Femulate". "Stana" (author) recently commented on the advantages of losing weight.
Can you imagine turning on your television at one in the morning and seeing a transgendered girl explaining the advantages of losing weight? Zumba NO! Crossdressing YES! One full half hour telling men how putting on a dress will help them to shed pounds? Wives, get that fat hubby off the couch and into a new skirt and heels.
I used to be a size I'm an 18!!!!! The size decrease is true but of course I'm joking about the rest!
Certainly the weight loss has helped me physically. The care I take with my skin has helped me too.
Too be able to wear less foundation in this summer weather alone may be as beneficial as the as shopping is better.
The increase in selection of clothes is dramatic as you drop from an extra large to a large in tops and from a 22 to an 18 in jeans.
I now have a better understanding of why women obsess about dieting. Looks and health are great reasons of course.  Better shopping takes it to a whole fun level!
So maybe an "infomercial" is possible!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Mother/Daughter Reunion!

Another story from the UK. From "The Sun" a story about a transgendered youth who recently started hormone therapy.
"Hannah's" story is becoming more and more common fortunately. Mom accepts son's desire to become female. Dad is begrudgingly accepting.
The more these stories become routine, the more we transgendered humans become routine.
"Hannah and Mum"
More acceptance, less violence. If it was only that easy!!!!


Heat index of one hundred degrees in my part of the world. A humid heat. The sort of heat that melts you and your makeup!
Summer is young and so far I have been able to put together a number of flattering outfits that make an attempt to keep me cool. 
I think I have passed along the fact that I can't shave my arms (due to work) and have these damn thick wrists that were a plus swinging a bat but a negative with even three quarter sleeves.
I haunt the thrift stores now searching for any lite weight top with long sleeves and there are not many.
Another problem I have is I am seen by the same people more and more so I need a wardrobe that varies.
On the positive side, the shorter skirts I've found seem to be cooling and flattering to my legs. In addition, some of the more naive individuals I encounter just know I have to be female with my smooth hairless legs.
At any rate, summer is not one of my favorite times of the year.  What famous philosopher said "deal with it"?

Dad's Not Home

With "Father's Day" approaching, I started to wonder where he went. Not my Dad. He passed years ago and was fortunate to have lived a long and productive life.
I'm thinking about me the "Dad". I have a daughter who I came out to the beginning of this year.
When I have nights like last night when no one questioned my female presentation I know "Dad" is gone. I knew Dad was gone a couple days ago when I saw the blond in the mirror as I shopped. I knew I was her...all her.
Later on this month I will get my "Father's Day" card and phone call.  I know no matter what happens I will always be "Dad". I certainly will not use the opportunity to bring the whole trans situation up again to my daughter. She has enough life to worry about!
I was thinking of getting my own card. My own little version of goodbye. Then again, a little too dramatic?

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I Exercised My Right!

I exercised my right as a girl, went blond again and had a wonderful time.
I truly believe that "blonde's don't have more fun" but they certainly do get more attention.
My attention last night was all good from what I could determine. Of course other women provide the best feedback. 
I was dressed rather professionally with black jacket, skirt, white cami and flats. I passed several groups of middle aged to younger women who paid me no attention what so ever. I did get one eye eye "bitch" look from a 20 something blond later but that was it.
Surprisingly, yet another very strong "girl thing" has crept into my existence.
Since I wear a lot of jeans, crossing my legs has never really been a priority with me.
Until now.
Wearing a short skirt and leaning back and reading or texting really helps me feel woman.  I know what you are thinking..."DUH".
As I carried on a fashion conversation last night with a woman sitting next to me and later when I caught a man looking at my legs I wondered how I missed this.
Maybe it's like the blond all comes back to help!

I Can't Resist!

I felt as little evil as I read this story from France.
Stephanie Nicot, 59, wed 27-year-old partner Elise in a town hall ceremony in Nancy in eastern France in what is said to be the first marriage of its kind in the country. "Stephanie" transitioned from "Stephane" and has gone through sex reassignment surgery.  She did not get her gender changed on the public records which allowed her to marry another woman as a man.
All of that is wonderful but I immediately thought of the age difference and the "smirk" on her face." Take that all you ex friends and wives! I went through a lot to marry a much younger woman!"
Sorry...just had to go there.

New Hobby Anyone?

By far the UK has the best stories about transgender women.
This one comes from The "Sunday Sun". "Coreena Ford" tells the story of David Payne's transition to Natasha Gray...with an interesting hobby.

"On the pole with Natasha"

"SWINGING her long legs around the pole, Natasha Gray moves to the music with expert precision and everyone in her class follows her with ease.
She’s a popular pole-dance teacher, but she’d love to be a fashion model and TV presenter, and loves making outfits for pole dancing competitions.
Yet the dance classes and clothes – and 36D boobs – are a world away from her former life . . . as David Payne, a Royal Navy officer and a gentleman, who has two ex-wives."
Natasha "transitioned" from burlesque classes to pole dancing  and has even placed second in dancing competitions. Sure beats the boring old days on a ship!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Beautiful Courage!

"Janet Mock"
Out steps another trans woman. She's obviously beautiful, intelligent and brave enough to step out of the shadows to help others.
Mock is an associate editor for "". Her message to transgender youth is simple. She is living proof that in fact life will get better for transgender them.
Follow this link for the video and more!
Speaking of "People .com", the site also featured "Lea T" and a "smokin" shot of her bikini layout.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Something Different?

I receive questions about my sexuality. Big surprise? Certainly not.
Without going into gory detail most of you know I was married for years to a woman (deceased) who knew of my trans disposition . You may also know of my developing interest in men over the past year or so.
All of this brings up the "straight" question. Are the men interested in me straight? Am I? Who cares?
A great look into attractions between men comes from "The Edge" in Boston.
The "Boys who like boys who look like girls" article deals with the subject basically from the views of drag queens. Many do admit that looking like a woman is a great way to pick up men. In a gay club. My relatively limited experience hasn't show me that. Then again, I've never been a performer and do not live in a major metropolitan area. Actually, I've been approached by more women.
What's the attraction? Women for the most part are just curious. Why do you want to play in their world? Somehow you become more than a gay guy in a dress in their eyes. So very correct!
Men are stereotyped too.Is it simply that some men just really want to have sex with a man... One who happens to look female makes it all right. Sure all of that is true but enter the third gender.
Most of the men I have encountered would have answered no to the "gay" question. For whatever reason they identify with the female in me.
From drag queens to straight guys to all of us in the middle, all of this makes for an interesting life. For the life of me I will never understand those who find it all so evil and even resort to violence.
What's the old line? "Whatever gets you through the night?"

Style versus Fashion

I'm found of discussing of how I admire a woman with a unique sense of style.
Her style doesn't have to necessarily be in fashion, off some runway in New York or even expensive. She just seems to have the skill to put certain clothes or accessories together for a look she owns.
"Erin Loechner" wrote an excellent article on "BlogHer" about the subject.
She starts by writing about clothing versus fashion."I am so incredibly intrigued by clothing. Please note that I didn't say that I am intrigued by fashion -- the truth is that I actually couldn't care a whit about fashion. In fact, it has been years since I've even flipped through a fashion magazine. As much as I do love clothing, fashion and shopping in general often holds little interest for me."
She goes on to interview and talk about women she knows who have a unique style and where it comes from.
Of course we trans girls can't follow all her recommendations. We do have plenty of figure flaws to cover and we very simply have to be better than most women with fashion and style.  That big mean world out there can be very unforgiving to us!
Once we arrive at the point when our style is more successful than our fashion...the mean old world becomes much nicer and even fun!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Lea T!

"Lea T" the Brazilian transgender model has landed a swimsuit photo session.
She is a daughter of a Brazilian soccer player.
Wonder if the team has a calendar?

From Name Calling... To Prom Queen.

From "The Advocate.Com" comes a story that reinforces the idea we are advancing as transgendered humans in this world. "Steve Rothaus" wrote:
"They’ve bullied and taunted her, calling her names and writing on her locker.
And now, the seniors at McFatter Technical High School have elected Andrew Viveros their 2011 prom queen.
“They called my name and I was in total shock,’’ said Andrew, a 17-year-old who was born male but has publicly presented herself as female for the last two years.
With her long wavy brown hair, Andrew wore a royal blue dress and got a fresh manicure for the Friday night dance.
Andrew, also known as Andii, plans to someday change her name to Andrea. She wanted to run for prom queen in order to show other transgender teens “it gets better.”
She ran against 14 others."
Andii's story certainly doesn't make up for all the ones with violence directed towards transgendered individuals, Brave young woman such as Andii and others who are fighting for transgendered rights deserve all the press they can get.
One day we will all wake up to a kinder, gentler world. In the meantime we all have to take a look in the mirror and consider how we can help. Any action (no matter how small) can help us all!


Is 'epiphany" a big word? Do we even understand what it means? I had to look up the spelling.
I always thought it meant an "awakening".
Whatever the definition, I had a "epiphany" tonight.
To begin  with, I wasn't going to go out. The evening was far along by the time I even started to get ready.
I kept telling myself I would take too long to get ready and why bother. Famous last words as I left the house in a half hour.
I went to two very crowded straight venues and never got so much as a side glance.
I caught myself on the way home thinking...What should I do to make the evening more exciting? Stop somewhere else?
Then the "Big E" hit me
Why have I always made this so tough on myself? From the first day I put on a borrowed mini skirt as a teenager and paraded in front of my friends I've always tried to take my "girlness" to another level.
Don't get me wrong. Another level is not always bad. Levels are how we advance.
Years ago I decided to take my life to this level of living as a female. To me that meant going places I would enjoy more. I had never really enjoyed the gay clubs and was trying to merge my male interests into my female self. That meant sports bars were in my future.
Obviously I was very apprehensive. This level was very difficult. I wanted to look my best and at the same time "blend" in my jeans. None of this was destructive. I was living a life I wanted to live.
Now that life has become relatively matter of fact. Believe me, I never would have thought I would have arrived here.
Now, back to the "epiphany". My personality is "what's next"!  Go ahead girl and push that envelope a little farther... but the push is often as painful as it is exciting. My thoughts turned to maybe I should just relax with the look I have and how I use it and where I go with it.
The best example I can share with all of you was Monday. I went to one of my sports bars and literally felt so good sliding into my seat and crossing my legs. I was already having a delightful conversation with a man that day, so the romantic texts I was getting didn't hurt.
Maybe, just maybe this time I will listen to the "epiphany" and stay put in my life right now. I can have more fun looking for new outfits than seeking out new frontiers.

Dealing With Trans Rejection

Image from Jakayla Toney on UnSplash. Similar to so many transgender women or trans men, I have dealt with my share of rejections.  My first...