Who Is "Cassandra Cass?"

After posting a picture of Cassandra Cass as "Jessica Rabbit" I decided to to a little research here for us in Cyrsti's Condo and find out who she is:
From Wikipedia:

As an actress, Cass is known for Trantasia (2006), Wild Things (2010), and What's the T? (2012). Trantasia is a documentary that chronicles contestants as they take part in the first ever "World's Most Beautiful Transsexual Pageant."The documentary was featured on Tyra Banks's show, dedicating a whole show to talking about it. Wild Things was an eight-episode reality television series which featured three transgender women on a road-trip to earn money for a relative of one of the three women who was seriously ill.^[The reality show starred Cassandra Cass, Maria Roman, and Tiara Russell, three original characters from Trantasia.^[ The documentary What's the T? followed the lives of five trans women. Cass has also been on television shows and in other movies. 

She is also an established performer in San Francisco who does drag and lip-sync shows. And she has had a calendar put out over the last several years.

Well...OK!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day."

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Gazin"

Just a big ol "Lord have mercy!" the stars caught me right smack in the middle of my mirror this week! I hope I'm not catching you other Libra's in the same mirror!

Libra: (September 23-October 22): A slip of the tongue happens and if it’s coming from you, you need to warn others. You have a certain love of vagueness that can alarm many when they see how deep it runs in you. In fact, it runs so deep, you sometimes wind up roaming in circles. To help in clearing that fog, at least for others, work harder on your articulation and annunciation.

My only hope is my friends truly know my vagueness does run deep within me and that's because I am roaming in circles mentally! None of it is evil though and after 65 yrs, it's tough to fix!
 I have a very difficult time staying in the present which I sometimes wonder comes from my transgender past.  At any rate, don't worry about those alarms! (We can figure out later whose noggin they were really in!)

Our guest sign today is Aries: (March 21-April 19): No matter how disappointed you feel in someone’s inability to understand you, you will find the way to love them through that shortcoming. It’s the least you can do, as there are things about you that aren’t easy for the average person to grasp.  So, if you’re going to be upset about anything now, it’ll be that and not giving a rat’s ass on who sees your pain.

As always, if we didn't get to your sign, don't sit and "boo-hoo'!  Go here for yours.

Cyrsti's Condo "Crazy Wabbit!"

MtF transsexual woman Cassandra Cass as Jessica Rabbit

Cyrsti's Condo "Num-mers!"

Our feature cover today is

Thai transgender showgirl Nisarat (Num) modelling.

I "Know" You?

I'm going to mention"Trans Dar" only one more time here in Cyrsti's Condo (I promise-maybe!)

Over the past decade I had only really three opportunities tt meet and perhaps interact in a positive way with sisters I knew were cross dressers.

• The "matron"  in the mall.  I saw this person walking below me as I was standing on the "mezzanine" (2nd floor) of this mall I was in,. At first glance,  she was a tall matronly dressed older woman-until she passed me by and I saw the back of her head. The whole back of her very male neck was exposed by an extreme ill fitting wig.  I tried to get down an escalator to make eye contact and even say something.  I never saw her again as obviously she was moving at a very "un-matronly" speed.  I just wanted to re-arrange her wig!

The "grunge girl" in the mall.  I don't even know if "grunge" is the proper style description. I have added a non cross dresser picture to show you what I'm talking about. (left) At any rate, this younger CD was tantalizingly close to pulling off the look.  But- She was having a real difficult time with walking in the boots  and I thought was making novice cross dressing mistakes such as wearing every bit of her outfit too tight. I made no attempt to say anything and just followed along at a safe distance and watched how everyone else viewed her.  Truthfully , she took the "pressure" off of me.

•  "The lady in white" in Friday's. If you don't know, "Friday's" is a restaurant/bar chain in the United States.  Years ago, I was a regular in a couple nearby units and they always treated me with respect. One night I was at the bar and noticed a tall well dressed woman come into the bar area, order a glass of wine and go sit down behind me somewhere. I was 99% sure she was a cross dresser because she wasn't fluid like a woman, dressed too perfect and scared to death. I sat there for a bit giving myself a chance to gather up the courage to say hello.  I waited too long though and when I did look for her a short time later, she had downed her wine and bolted out of there. For months I looked for her, but never saw her again.

Well kids, there have been other times and other places where my "Trans-dar" was going crazy, but not for a long time.  I don't know I have a reason why. Perhaps the "luck of the draw" or I'm off in my own little world. I have an amusement park there!

Cyrsti's Condo "A Change of Plans?"

Hey Joe, this is Ian. I have a question to ask you BEFORE we meet up with the rest of the guys tonight for wing and beer night at the bar...

Cyrsti's Condo - "The Sunday Edition"

Good morning kids, ker plunk! another "fabtabulous" Sunday Edition is hitting your front porch.  I like to refer to this type of Sunday morning here in Ohio, USA as a soft Sunday.  It's mild, slightly overcast and quiet, except for the hot pot "o joe" brewing away in the coffee maker.

Page1.- The week that was-or wasn't.  For no particular reason (like so many other things in my noggin), last week we discussed interactions between transgender women and transgender men and even journeyed into the lesbian culture too.  I went into my theories on a very complex subject and received several thoughtful replies from your end.  Including this one from Diane Michelle Ryan:

Susan Herr

Hi Cyrsti
Love your Blog. I have never had an problem with older lesbians but younger ones can look at us with tuff looks. I live in the Bay Area & see a lot of FTM's out here.

hugs 
Diane

Thanks Diane!!!!  You are right and I think the younger butch's or "soft studs" are in a situation where they "out" and "feeling their oats" so to speak.  Perhaps the "tuff looks" we see are a reflection of that and the older lesbians have mellowed.  Several I know have worked through the "how you identify" stage into the "person you are" stage.

In no order of importance, came this comment which spoke to the possibility of trans guys and trans women interacting and growing with each other.  From Shelli Anne Mulka:

I'm a transwoman myself and know three transmen fairly well. One of them and I go out for a dinner and a movie every month or so and really enjoy being a "couple'. It gives us each a chance to "fine-tune" our image to the real world, and we often end up laughing about each of us "running in opposite directions and side-swiping each other". It gives us a feeling of mutuality which might even lead to romance some day, a concept that really doesn't bother me all that much ! We just may have as much in common as most couples, who can say? Peace & Love, Shelli Anne

Peace and love to you Shelli Anne!  I find it very interesting when you look into the dynamics of a trans woman/man relationship.  I have two friends who went on a very bumpy ride.  I think through no fault of their own, both were experiencing natural changes during their transition and will come out of the process as difference people than at the beginning.  Difficult to negotiate at the best!

Page 2.- Trans dar!  "Oh no she dident"- Go there again!  We indeed did go there again here in the Condo.  I asked the question, what would you do if you had the chance to speak to another cross dresser or transgender woman you had never met before:

Again, we received several quality responses including Jen Smith:   If my trans-dar goes off I do often glance casually her/his way, and if we make eye contact I just give a slight friendly smile as I would to anyone. 
I really just make the glance to see what I can learn (good or bad) from how she is presenting.

And Pat:

My T-dar is almost always on and I think that the same is true for my wife but I sense her acute sensitivity towards potential T-folk may be due in part to her over all sensitivity to everything in her environment as well as having lived with me for all these years. I tend to think that most people tend to be oblivious to the fact that we live among them.

Of course Pat, my warped sense of humor loved the "we live among them" comment as a Halloween reference to Vampires - where she was going anyhow:

Alexander Bekker

Last year we were simple spectators at the Asbury Park Zombie walk. While there I gave a pint of blood at the bloodmobile outside the legendary Stone Pony. I just got a mailer from the blood bank about this year's Zombie walk. I think that perhaps my wife and I may do the dual ghoul walk and perhaps she would consent to me doing it in fem. I will be planning to give another pint of blood so it would be interesting to be a guy dressed as a dead woman getting my blood drained in broad daylight.

Thanks Pat!

The Back Page.-  As they say in the "old country" (where I live) we are out of space, time and maybe luck! Thanks for stopping by the Condo and especially participating!  I get sooo tired of asking my dog!

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Playtime"

Hold still Jim, let me finish your hair...and stop your damn whining about how tight the tape is on your fake boobs- my girlfriends will be here soon and we will get to the party...where your real fun will start!

Don't I Know You?

The last couple of Friday's have hosted beautiful pre fall weather here in Ohio. It has created an opportunity for Missy and I to put as much "stuff" as we physically could out on the sidewalk of my house and try to sell it.  In our part of the world, sales such as ours are called "yard sales", "garage sales" or even "sidewalk sales."

It is a hit or miss project at it's best, but yesterday we got off to a fairly decent start.  About two hours into our sale, a very lesbian looking woman pulls up and begins browsing.  All of the sudden, she quit browsing, looked at me and said "Hey, don't I know you?" I jokingly said "Yes you probably saw my picture up in the Post Office with the other 'Most Wanted' peeps!"  All along though I was wondering if she did know me from one of the gay venues here in town.

I was humored by the thought, she bought two or three items and was on her way.  In the meantime, Missy asked had she seen me before? I said yes, but not exactly.  Quite possibly, she has seen the totally feminized version of me.

These two sales have really been eye openers for Missy.  To catch you up, she is my deceased wife's sister and I only have recently come out to her-when their Mom died. During the first sale, two separate groups of people referred to us as "ladies" or "girls".  To her credit, even Missy stopped in mid pronoun calling me "her" to a buyer. The whole process to me means how totally androgynous I'm becoming on HRT.

All of this with Missy usually kicks off another round of transgender questions - normally having to do with the possibility of SRS.  Her retention span is as bad as mine, so I go back through all the alternatives time and time again.  This time adding in the possibility of using my Medicaid health benefits.

At the least, these unexpected diversions from what normally is a very boring day for me have at the least made the sales more interesting and yes, she probably did know me.

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "OOPPS!"

Dammit Jim, are those our wives coming?

It's All in the Eyes?

Continuing on my last post about those pesky lesbians jamming my "trans-dar"- I brought up the question, "How does one know the difference when a lesbian does cross the border into transgender territory. Well, of course, one normally doesn't but of course I have formed a few opinions the hard way.

First of all, I am not the definitive resource on lesbians but have found out a number of factoids over the last few years. First of all, they are very possessive within their culture.  I have be invited to several lesbian "mixers" with friends over the years.  One of the first lessons I learned was, if my friend's perceived a woman they were interested in had a partner there-that was it. Look but don't touch.

Of course, after I calmed down about being there at all, I became interested about how I was perceived. I took for granted, that for the most part, all of the "mixers" knew I was transgender.  Truly, I never had to worry.  No one was mean, most ignored me but then again a few did approached me.  Once I was even asked if "I belonged to my friend I as with."  So I never did really encounter the "Terf" hate from radical lesbians which is so prominently written about-there. 

Possibly, I did though on two other occasions from two butch's who jammed my "trans-dar."  One came from the eyes of the woman I told you about in the last post with her husband and the other, from a very, very, very, butch in a gay venue I go to. As I was talking to her partner one night.   If looks could kill, I would have been a goner-twice!So, I assume even though both looked as if they could be transitioning, they weren't.

Now, if you switch gears to the transgender men I know, and the few I have met-their eyes are softer.  So for some reason, I don't threaten them.  The ironic part is, if I hadn't been told ahead of time, I wouldn't have known at all they were trans men.

What's happening here? Has the introduction of mean old testosterone into the Ftm men's lives helped to mold a kinder, multi layered man?  After all, we are so quick to toot our own horns about being some sort of "hybrid" gender, perhaps the Ftm's are more so? Even the trans men at the symposium I went to said not being raised in similar strict rigid gender boxes the boys were subjected to, helped them later to transition.

At the least, interesting "theories", at the best, I'm just happy I'm still alive to write about it!!!!

Trans Guys

I wanted to take a moment here in Cyrsti's Condo to pass along a moment recently which jammed my "trans-dar" completely.

It occurred in the huge sports bar I have been going to (and welcomed in, for years.)  On more than a couple occasions I have noticed this couple who has ended up setting close to me by pure accident.  They both wore wedding rings and he looked as if he was a 50 something laid back bearded guy. His companion though, I just couldn't tell. I am going to call her "she" because I found out she was.

Rarely have I seen a person this androgynous.  From haircut, to clothes to everything- I couldn't tell.  The venue is located very close to an big Air Force research center so it's not uncommon to see couples not married chatting (right or wrong.) Truthfully, the only gender giveaway was when I wasn't paying any attention, I would hear a semi loud feminine voice-where there shouldn't have been one, I turned around and it was her.

Stav Strashko

Ironically, I had a chance to take my curiosity to a higher level, one of the bartenders I have known in there for literally years now. Later in the evening, a sharp dressed young guy worked his way into an open spot at the bar and ordered a couple beers.  I thought "damn" I'm getting older than I thought when a fuzzy faced kid who looked liked he was 16 ordered a beer. (I saw her I.D. him.)

So, when my friend had a spare moment, I asked her first about the first couple and she said indeed they were married and as far as she knew the wife was genetic, and loved motorcycles. At the same time, I was beginning to wonder if the "fuzzy faced" guy who ordered a beer- was a guy at all either.  I asked her and with the same smirk she uses with me when I'm "ditzin"- said "No Cyrsti, another girl."

Immediately I felt the world was changing quickly.  Perhaps even more so with the transgender men.  Draco, my trans man friend who I mention here, have talked about the thin line between "super butch" lesbians and transgender men and how difficult often it is to tell. (So I feel better-or he is trying to humor me.)

Marie Claire Itália Setembro 2014

Since you all know I'm always trying to over think everything, I may have come across how possibly I can have a better idea of figuring out so so called "other side of the transgender coin".  Get your pens and notebooks out kids, we will get to the grand theory in a future post!

Just Another OhioTrans Woman?

Actually , Marcela Ohio is not from Ohio at all, she is yet another of the stunningly gorgeous transgender women from Brazil!  Here is an encore presentation of her as the Cyrsti's Condo feature cover of the day.

Trans-Dar

As we approach the Halloween costume and party season, the chances for our "trans-dar" senses to emerge will be even more frequent.

The "trans-dar" concept of course is with us 24/7 anyway.  I read about it most recently on Paula's Place,  but have seen Stana on Femulate pass along her experiences, as well as Mandy. Plus, Pat's comments here on the Cyrsti's Condo blog.  (I'm sure my old addled noggin is missing out on more of you I can't remember at the moment!)

Why "Trans-dar" at all?  I think our excursions into the girl's sandbox, no matter as a cross dresser or transgender woman, make us naturals.The only more natural "trans-dar" folks are genetic women.  Of course they have "lived" what we are attempting to live from day one. If they are true women and not just female baby makers, their "trans-dar" is even better. They know the effort it takes to have pride in your appearance and style while all the time making it look natural and effortless.

Here's a question, how many of us have actually acted when our "trans-dar" went off?  If you have, please tell me!  I can never remember hearing or reading of anyone who actually spoke to a cross dresser or transgender woman in public they didn't know. The chances have been slim for me.

I can't ever remember ever seeing more than ten or so individuals I thought may be a "sister of the cloth." Here are my excuses for not making contact: I wasn't totally sure, I couldn't get close enough to them, or they looked so scared and jumpy, I was afraid they would fall in their heels and hurt themselves running away.  My plan now is simple and one I wish I would have thought of years ago.  Just make eye contact and say "hi". That way I won't have to feel guilty about doing nothing.

Revisiting Halloween, it's the time of year for closeted CD's to get out and "strut their stuff!"  Similar to when I look at womanless pageant contestants- I am on the outlook for the level of "expertise".  I look for shaved legs, the probable expense of the "costume"  and how comfortable the person wearing it is.  Think of it as Cyrsti's version of "he might be a cross dresser-if."

Ironically, (as we will visit a number of times as Halloween approaches) much of the actual "fun" has gone out of the season for me as I have transitioned.  This year though, my partner Liz is working hard to put the fun back in Halloween and more!  She is also keeping her idea extremely secret.  I will tell all of you- when we all make it past the "need to know" basics.  I can only say I think I won't be setting off anyone's "trans-dar" in my female based costume-but a ton of "scare-dar."

Cyrsti's Condo "Wish List"

To lighten things up around the Condo, I'm passing along a couple of items I found:

The first is a dress I just love (and couldn't even wear) from a site called "Trans and Crossdress Beauty"
 

The second (from my own imagination)  is the first picture home to a "Duck Dynasty" watching family. From their son who just went away to college!

Hi Mom and Dad! Having a great time at my first dorm party!! Love you!!

HRT-Fact or Fiction?

You regulars around here in Cyrsti's Condo know I am a Huge believer in karma...what goes around- comes around.  During my life as a guy, I never understood several things about women: problems with climate change, losing items in purse and breaking their nails.  After all, how hard could it be to go back to the nail salon and get it fixed - poor babies.Little did I know one of my  hormone replacement therapy effects would be making my fingernails paper thin.

So thin it seems just playing with the dog the wrong way can chip or crack a nail. Even my genetic friends say my nails "break" in a weird way. I'm afraid to ask how that works!

All I know is now, I'm adding a specific vitamin to my diet which says it is good for my nails and coating them with a clear base which is also a strengthener.

My problem also is the physical labor I still do moving items from point "A" to point "B" to sell-not good for a salon inspired "manicure."

Look, I'm not really being a whiny girl here, I'm just giving Momma Karma her due.  When one of the women I worked with "broke a nail" not only did it cost her money-it hurt!

Cyrsti's Condo "Total Non Disclosure?"

Won't he have a surprise when he goes to remove my garter?

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Gazing"

Here we go kids, another chance to gaze at the stars and read what astrology says about the week ahead. We Libra's have another chance to go for something-whatever it may be!:

(September 23-October 22): There is a race to the front of the line now. If there are circumstances that aren’t matching up to your skills, this is the moment to get things straight. There are many options that will appear surreal, but trust they are visions of a near future that is within reach. So, suit up, because the snooze button no longer works and your reputation to say what you can do hangs in the balance.

This week, I skipped the urge to feature Pisces and the mention of a hot oil body treatment after a "L Word" episode about a lesbian bar and hot oil wrestling and went with Leo for all of you who may be in the middle of transitioning:

(July 23-August 22): There will be lots of things to attend to in your backyard, so don’t get all fancy early in the week making plans that require you to go far. If you take the effort to learn about the community you are a part of, you will find a place to belong. Yes, seems the intellectual connection and spiritual understanding you crave is right under your nose.

As always, if I left you out, don't despair and head here for your sign! 

  

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

My Goat and I

This is not a fun story, in fact it is downright painful about why I grew the "Goatee."

For obvious reasons, I never wore much facial hair because I knew sooner more than later it would have to come off in some sort of "ultimate purge." Fortunately too, my beard growth basically stops from the corners of my mouth over to my ears.

I have written in length here in Cyrsti's Condo, and even more so in my book "Stilettos on Thin Ice" about how I tried to balance my awakening knowledge I was transgender with a desire to stay with my wife of 25 years.  She always accepted the knowledge I was a cross dresser but never would embrace thoughts of me being trans.

Bottom line was, the more I explored my gender, the clearer it became I was trans.

Sounds easy, right?  The problem was, I began getting caught up in lies about where I was and what I was doing on a greater scale. I became harder and harder to live with.  To the point on one occasion, when she told me "be man enough to go become a woman, we both will be better off." I didn't and continued down a road where I essentially was cheating on her-with myself.

Finally, on yet another occasion when she came home early and caught me coming through the door, I had had enough.  I wasn't being honest with myself, her or the world and dishonesty in a person I felt was one of the nastiest attributes ever. Someone could call me stupid-just not a liar. So here I was lying.  What did I do? Once again I tried to take the easy way out by taking a whole bottle of whatever bi-polar medicine I had at the time and curled up downstairs on the couch.  I'm writing this, so you can guess the pills didn't kill me (I never told her.) so I went to "plan B."

I am a firm believer in whatever spirit you worship giving you a strong hint of what you should do in life. I am not the sharpest tack in the box and I chose to ignore my spiritual gender guideposts but for some reason, "plan B" was looking better.

The plan was going to be utterly difficult and in many ways I thought would be tossing all of my feminine learning experiences in the trash.  The only way though I knew to stop what I was doing was to grow a beard.  A voice deep inside was screaming at me, "Just Do It!" The picture of me with a goatee here on the blog shows the result.

The saddest part of the story is approximately two years into me doing the wrong thing for the right reason-one night my wife of 25 years went to work and never came home.  She suffered a fatal heart attack on the job. Absolutely and positively I never thought I would outlive her.  That was eight years ago this Thanksgiving and the mental trauma took me five years to work my way through. The night was the reason I try to tell everyone how literally paper thin, life really is and everything you think is permanent is merely an illusion.

Now though, I am proud of the fact now, I was able to live up to what I said I was going to do during the last two years of her life.  Selfishly, I do listen to those who say she was wrong to expect me to be someone I wasn't (like her sister, my daughter and my partner). I know they are right but I loved my wife deeply and she was my best friend too, so as in most other things, there was so much more than meets the eye.

In the picture, I had ballooned up to 275+ pounds.  After her passing, I went back to my inner soul for survival. She helped me to lick my wounds and slowly get back in the game and within a week, the goatee was gone.

Should I say, the rest is history?

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

Good morning kids!  Ker Plunk! It's time for another Sunday Edition here in the Condo and on your virtual front porch.  Settle in for a hot "cup o joe."

Page One.- The Week that was-Or wasn't.  I consider myself fairly used to what goes on around the Condo, but last week, we posted a couple ideas on breasts which positively set records on the number of hits I have ever received and several wonderful comments as well.  Certainly, I had no ground breaking ideas on breast worship.  Essentially, no matter how we identify as transgender or cross dressers-we can "adjust" the size of our breasts.  No different as any of the "tricks" genetic women have used forever.  My most recent example came not long ago when my partner Liz mentioned I needed a different kind of bra which would bring my new breast tissue which extends to under my arms forward and fills my natural cup size (C).  Making the most of what I have.

We went on to have quite the conversation of her memories of shopping with her Mom for her first bra and how essentially embarrassing it was.  Similar to so many feminine rights of passage all of us know very little about, the gender "grass" is not always greener on the other side.

Page Two.- My "Goat" Last week, we also made the jump from breasts to facial hair.  No secret, beard coverage is a huge step to effectively presenting ourselves as women.  If you go on YouTube at all, there are tons of ideas of how to do it for cross dressers or drag queens.  Of course for more permanent results, we must go the route of laser or electrolysis. As I said, due to financial constraints and a relatively manageable beard-I had to put hair removal on the "back burner".  But, where I am at now- is waking up to an increasingly feminized body and a scratchy chin...Ukk!  Liz and I are "shopping" increasingly for a professional to begin the process.

As far as the "goat" comment, J.Alana asked:  "Nice blue eyes Cyrsti. I hadn't seen this picture. Maybe you can clue me in on why you were growing it out."

(The picture she is referring to is actually on the blog!)  Actually, the "Goatee" story is an extremely sad, embarrassing and uplifting experience all wrapped together in one two year period of my life and I promise a post about it by tomorrow at the latest.  Thanks for the eye compliment J. Alana!  I commonly referred to as having a green/hazel eye color mix.  I do know though they have been known to pick up the environment around me-or according to Liz- emotions.  I am just happy I can see out of them!

The "real" Elvira (left) and the "drag version"

Page Three.- Halloween   Octtober is nearly here, and with it Halloween.  I'm happy because I don't have to worry about  having experiences to pass along!  Seriously, as easy as Halloween looks, it is far from easy for most of us.  I know early in my life, I was paranoid about dressing as a girl at all.  Someone at a party may learn of my "dreaded" cross dressing secret.  Later on, I progressed to a "Ha Ha" look at me dressed as a woman for Halloween.   One year I responded to a comment from two genetic women friends who said, "Wow, you make a good looking woman!" I could only say thanks, but a lot of good it does me." (what the hell did that mean to them?) Finally, as I accepted I was transgender, Halloween became nearly mundane. In October, we will chat about why it has nearly come full circle.



The Back Page.- It must be time to wrap up this "Sunday Edition"- Liz's big fuzzy black cat is staring at me and is threatening to walk across the keyboard.  As always, thanks for taking the time to stop by Cyrsti's Condo!  Your visits make it all worthwhile!

The Future of the Male Gender?

I see a lot of sites promoting the future of the male gender as a highly androgynous person and I guess scientifically there are ideas to support it.  Overall we know though, with some, the whole idea is just an over romanticized fantasy.  Although, even here in the "heartland" (Ohio) I will occasionally see a very pretty boy or 20 something guy, I just know would produce a andro model such as Alexandre Wetter:

From the Cyrsti's Condo Archives: Jessica Lam

This is a positively ancient Larry King video from 2007:

What the Hell is Pinterest?

As Pinterest pertains to the public as a whole, it is a fun place to literally "scrapbook" your pictures and swap images with like minded folks.

Of course, as in most things involved with our community, if you haven't explored Pinterest, have tons of time to view what seems to be thousands upon thousands of pictures of cross dressers, trans women, fakes and transsexual porn stars.

Along the way, through osmosis, I began to use and think of my Pinterest in a different way.  First of all, I use it for my smart arse comments, and on a serious nature attempt to spotlight transgender women and men in our world who are making a difference.  Then, I began to notice the quotes which show up there. You have seen a few of them here in Cyrsti's Condo.  Then, I began to "pin" any item I list in my Etsy shoppes to my Pinterest boards.  Then, I began to add my other interests (such as vintage pinups) - among other things such as recipes.  In other words, not related at all to the fact I am a transgender woman.

All of the sudden, I have "civilians" repining some of my non trans related pins to their boards...which means at some point, they might look at my whole page which still is heavily accented with transgender activity.

I'm wondering now, if in some way, I have found a different means to educate another person in the world or two that there are many of us who are just regular people- with many different interests other than all the other thousands of pictures they see. They have no way of knowing the differences in our community and it's natural to lump together most of the crazy pictures of the guy down the hall in a dress.

Of course, I will never really know, but at the least I wonder if the person who pinned one of my vintage garden tool posts will think "Hey she's a transgender woman and she has the same interests as me! I love her taste in recipes, vintage art, antiques and even tattoo's!"

It's just a brief moment for me to show them , I'm so much more than just a trans woman.

Don't be a Boob?

As expected (in a good way) our breast discussion around here in Cyrsti's Condo continues on it's merry ol way.  After all, no matter how you view them, breasts have a major impact on how a woman views her femininity and how a man views her period.

JAlanaS though, came up with a whole different perspective:  While having an appropriate chest size is key to decent feminine presentation, I find proper chin hair is even more important. Let's be honest, the biggest fail is showing up as the "Bearded Lady" That'll get you ID'ed/outed quicker even if you do have a good sized rack. I "augment" my natural A's with A-to-B filler pads. So that said, I'd spend my money on electrolysis long before the silicone implants, although a D-cup would look about right on my frame.

I'm with you JAlana.  In fact, I have shopped around for electrolysis prices a couple of times.

"Bearded Lady Miriam"

I'm fortunate though because I don't have a lot of facial hair and most of it has turned gray. The good news is, with a close shave, and a little foundation - I'm ready to go. The bad news is, I'm not a candidate for laser hair removal because of my gray hair. **Hint- If you haven't found it here on the blog, there is a before picture of me with a goatee.

My problem is, I dearly hate to wake up in the morning with the same old scratchy stubble on my face when the rest of my body is clearly feeling the effects of HRT feminization. As of yet, I have been unable to "scratch" (no pun intended) up the money yet to begin my planned electrolysis. 

Finally, my only comment to JAlana's is, style wise, most certainly go to your strengths. (Stana's legs.) But don't over do it and try to "manufacture" too many strengths. Example?  If you are going with big breasts and good cleavage-don't pair the look with a short leg baring skirt. (And look like a street walker!) Plus most certainly, I would not go under the knife for breast enhancement before electrolysis either.   

Cyrsti's Condo "Makeup Moment"

If you saw me most of the time, you would probably think "she must have taken only a moment to put that makeup on and maybe she could have spared two moments?"

Regardless of all of that,I always read with interest a review or two on price/quality deals from makeup pros which fit my budget.

This one comes from Yahoo and covers 47 dollars worth of products including this one from New York Color:

INDIVIDUALEYES CUSTOM COMPACT

Discover NYC New York Color IndividualEyes Custom Compact, the all-in-one compact with everything you need for a complete eye look: primer, illuminator, applicator and complementing shadows. With four colors, specially coordinated to intensify and enhance your eye color, you can create a look as individual as you are. Make your eyes pop! $4.99

Here was the review:
This modestly priced product is a potential powerhouse. “It has great matte colors, a highlighter cream, and also an eye shadow base. That base could take away some dark circles on the inner corner of the eye and the highlighter could be used on the tops of the cheekbones,” Dubroff (makeup artist) says. “This was a happy discovery!” 

As I said there are more ideas here.

Certainly, getting the most bang for your buck is important when any woman (transgender or not) is shopping for makeup but getting a great deal is a bigger plus for the beginning cross dresser.  Unless you are one of the rare CD's who has access to a make up "mentor" to get you started, experimentation is very important. These ideas give you an idea of how to purchase a few "essentials" without spending big money to do it!

From Russia with Love

Cyrsti's Condo "Quote of the Day"

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature cover today is yet another gorgeous Mtf transgender Brazilian woman  Lavinia Moraes.

Buying A "Girl's" Car

As always is the case, when I think I have a little bit of extra money set aside for whatever, whatever came down quickly in the form of needing a different car.

I ended up buying a used hatchback which I know I have way too much expectations of.  The one thing I do know about it is-it looks like a girl's car.  You may ask, Cyrsti, how do you define a "girl's car?"


The extreme example is on the left and while my car is a far cry from that, it's also not a diesel full sized pick up truck either.

I have grown used to buying "girl's cars'" I guess.  Back in the 70's when I got out of the Army, I brought an VW Beetle (not pink) back from Germany where I was stationed.  But those were the hippie days and no one called it a "girl's car".

Surprisingly to me, after I drove a series of pick up trucks and SUV's, my next "girl's car"  was a Porsche Boxster I bought when I had money.  All the time, I thought it was a "mid life crisis man's car" until I was told by one of my nephews it was a "girl's car."

By the time I had to get rid of the Boxster, I was loosing everything and I was only concerned with a vehicle which started, had storage space and was "winter" worthy.  I found a small SUV, drove it to work and someone asked "who was driving the girl's car?"

I suppose I should be complimented, right?  Yes I was driving a girls car...because...just because.

Keeping A Breast of the Situation

Today, I'm following up on a post we did yesterday here in Cyrsti's Condo which discussed breast size obsessions in cross dressers and transgender women. To be fair, genetic women are right there too, with the amount of "boob jobs" being done these days.  My brother's daughter in law got one a year or so ago.

Yesterday, as I was updating my insurance on the car I just bought, the 40 something woman behind the counter was a picture perfect ideal of how a woman her age could look.  She was wearing a low cut top of some sort which showed enough cleavage to make her whole outfit seem "interesting" but far from sleazy. Perhaps she was showing off her new breasts?

From Google + yesterday I received this comment from Michelle Hart (no relation-I don't think) :

"It's amazing just how fixated some CD's get with having breasts that are way too big for their body structure. I know that some do it to try and make others believe that they are ultra feminine while others do it for the shock value. Most trans women will be told by their doctors to have breasts that will actuate their bodies but it is up to the individual as to what size they will want to be."

Thanks Michelle!  Here is my simple formula I came up with when I was sleeping through geometry:  "Guys like big Boobs.  If I become my "own girl" I want to have big boobs too.  Then more guys will look at me too." (You see now why I flunked geometry!)

I have used the beautiful Gigi Gorgeous above who is publicizing her new breasts along with the pronounce- ment she wanted them bigger, but the doctor couldn't do it.

Finally, where I think many cross dressers, transgender or genetic women miss the breast boat is...there is a breast size which fits your body size properly.   For example, on a torso such as mine, to naturally "fill out" fashions I would need to grow from my current "C" to a "D" cup.  As HRT was working it's magic, I still had to add to my cup size as I went along.  Now I'm to the point of having a "little help".  Plus, let's not forget the plethora of push up bra's on the market.  "Back in the day" I too resorted to the painful taping you see on many cross dressing pictures.  My problem was (on top of the discomfort) was the more time I spent out in the world, the more the tape began to "slip" and I was back to zero again.



What the world sees as "feminine" certainly is defined by breasts to a large extent.  The woman yesterday was defining hers to an extent but her hair was done, she was dressed office casual too.  Most cross dressers I see make an effort of missing the overall point of where they are trying to get to.  Unless of course, their goal is a big boob shot on line.

Cyrsti's Condo Quote of the Day

Overheard on a Columbus, Ohio radio station:

The NFL's Breast Cancer Slogan this year: "We will beat the hell out of it!"

Cyrsti's Condo "Star Gazing!"

Shhh! Don't tell anyone I'm here! Now, read my sign for the week!


Libra: (September 23-October 22): Listen in on conversations and snoop in places when you don’t think anyone is looking. It’s this sort of stealth movement that’ll be necessary to get the real dirt on another’s intention now.Yes, a perverse week is ahead, involving a fight with your morals, but trust that there are times, like now, when playing a sleight of hand is the only way to protect yourself. So, fuck it.

Damn all you fellow Libra's- now that is a scope!!!  I would comment further but that would give away my stealth movement!

Our guest sign this week just has to go to your Scorpio's!  :

(October 23-November 21): Your week will have an erotic and exotic feel to it, making you want to spend a little extra time between the sheets in the morning. Yes, the heat will be on, making time your runway with all eyes on you. Whatever this influence has, expect it to be potent enough to blind your from the usual crap that pisses you off. Yes, that powerful!

Wow! If you need to get into all this celestial action,  go here to theFrisky!

Can It Ever Be Too Common Place?

Scarlett Lenh, (left) 16, is a junior at Sand Creek High School in Colorado Springs and she made history on Friday, when she became the first ever trans woman to be picked as homecoming queen in the state – beating out three other nominees in the process. Cool!

I began to think though, how now we are beginning to hear more and more young transgender women and men stepping up and out of their closet to be recognized for who they really are at their schools.

Do you remember how not so long ago Scarlett's achievement would have been met with fireworks and marching bands?  Now it's more of a "feel good" story.

Unfortunately though, it's not universal.  I chat with a 17 year old self described pan-sexual genetic female whose friends include a young transgender woman.  They live in a Texas town where she says her and her friends have to be careful of outsiders coming into town.  If they happen to "interact", she believes they could be in physical danger.  

In a way she is lucky because her Mom is trying to pick up and move both of them to a more diverse town. In the meantime, change does come from the young.  The more "Scarlett" stories we hear of, the better off all of us will be!

The Object of My Obsessions

I was having a chat with Lynne this morning about a very accomplished cross dresser we knew back in the 1980's/1990's.  Lynne brought up the point this "accomplished" CD always told her "her breasts should be the most important point of her presentation" - not the overall feminine shape proper padding could give her in the hip/butt area. What did I think?

I told her I had always read, concerning the ideal feminine shape, a woman's hips roughly equaled the span of her shoulders. I went on to say, perhaps our CD friend was more concerned how she viewed herself as a man versus how the world viewed her as a woman.

That's OK, whatever is important to each person is their business and some women do dress just to please men.  I have always believed though the greatest majority dress for society as a whole.

Cross Dresser Heidi -an example

Then again, "cleavage creating" video's are becoming almost as plentiful on YouTube as any leg shots.  Depending upon how much money you wish to spend, you too can have your own set of removal one piece silicone breasts.  All you have to do is strategically position the right necklace or blend the right makeup and you can have picture perfect breasts.

As far as I go, I wish I was more the object of my obsessions. The more the world is my domain, I suppose I am no different than any genetic woman heading for the grocery store. Let's just say I wasn't too glamorous today as I mowed my grass! On the other hand, similar to any other genetic woman, I do have fun getting dressed up for the right occasion.  It just so happens I have been able to make it out of the closet - or wanted to at all.

Getting back to Lynne and I's discussion, the cross dresser we were referring to opted for SRS years later and I wondered what size breasts did she choose and did they define her femininity? I know my HRT home grown "C"'s help the process for me, but I'm not so sure I would need "DD"s to define me to me-but I'm sure they would be attention getters with others!  Maybe our friend was right?

Cyrsti's Condo "Wedding Day Blues"

Come on now Ian! Smile! You look great and no one will ever know you are an emergency bridesmaid replacement  in your sister's wedding!  You are right though-a bad choice of dresses!

Do not though...catch the bouquet or flirt with one of the groom's friends in the wedding party----GOT IT?

Cyrsti's Condo "Sunday Edition"

G'day to you all and ker plunk! It's time for another Sunday edition here in the Condo. Actually around here in Ohio we have found ourselves in the midst of a very fall like weather run with night time lows in the 40's. As they say in the old country-good sleeping weather!

Page1.- "The Week That Was-or Wasn't."  The story and video of NFL running back dominated the national news so much that at least one night last week, it got the opening spot on the CBS evening national news I watch over even the ISIS/ISOL problem in the Middle East.  It should.  For once, the wrong man hit the wrong woman and all hell broke loose.  The story followed the classic path of male on female domestic violence. He apologizes, she said it was her fault too and life goes on.  This time it didn't though and the greatest marketing/money machine in the history of the United States was brought to it's knees.  Incidentally, to really follow the NFL forget the games and  follow the money.  The league's  greatest growth market recently has been it's women fans.

Certainly, to any of us who have crossed the gender boundary at all as a part time cross dresser to a full time transgender woman, male on female violence is no surprise. Plus, it is worse with us. If you are a Cyrsti's Condo regular, you know we try to regularly  revue basic security measures we all should take when we venture out of the closet. Never think male on female violence can't happen to you. 

What the NFL situation ultimately does for any of us remains to be seen but certainly a bunch of men (for the most part enabled their entire lives from athletics) playing a violent sport and pumped up on who knows what steroids/hormones (roid rage)- this is far from over.  Best case scenario is as CD's and Trans women we can stand up, be counted and for once included.

Page2.-  "Hide and Seek" A couple well thought out comments from MIchellewhois enabled us to discuss the majority of us who have or are hiding in plain sight with our gender issues. Here is one:

Very Old "Blonde Picture"  of Me on a future post I will explain what I did to it!

"Thank you for quoting me. I always wondered if anyone really saw when I wrote a thought or two. Many of us camouflage ourselves out of necessity. The necessity of maintaining the mental and physical health of not only our loved ones but ourselves.

You are right about that Trans-Dar going off when we see someone that may be hiding in plain sight. I remember one site on transitioning, suggest that you slowly change your appearance over time so that others will get used to seeing you change your appearance such as the "pretty men" you mentioned.

As for looking down on CD's, I could never find myself doing that because I was one of them way back when. If every Transwoman thinks about it, we were all one of those CD's hiding in plain sight."

You are welcome Michelle!  I have never liked the "comments" part of this particular blog platform I operate under.  I'm sure there is a better way, but I'm not "techno-girl" and are afraid to fool with the system.  I can say I do notice comments and thanks!  Plus, slowly changing one's appearance is a great idea!

Finally, I too have taken great pains to never give the impression of being higher up an imaginary cross dresser-transgender-transsexual pecking order.  Over my life, I have been subjected to too many "high and mighty" trans terfs who have taken me to task for almost anything from being a pretender - to starting HRT later in life - to my sexuality.  They used to aggravate me, now I just think their attitude is just their male ego bleeding through.

The Back Page.- Well kids, that is going to be it for this week's Sunday Edition!  Thanks for taking your time to stop in for a hot "Cup O Joe" (coffee) and spending a bit of your precious time here in the Condo!

He Never Made a Great "Big Brother!"

Big Brother contestant  Rodrigo Lopes  is now  Rebekah Shelton, a Brazilian transgender woman. Shown here as a transgirl and young man (known from Big Brother Brasil 2004)

Hiding in Plain Sight?

A comment from Michellewhois:

For many of us in the community we have to keep those fears our whole lives like that masks that we are forced to wear. I too am forced to wear the mask so much so that it has become second nature. I always hold out hope that one day it won't matter and everyone will see us for who we really are and not someone that has to hide almost in plain sight.

Unnamed cross dresser

I often wondered about the guy down the street or in the office - who are the beautiful cross dressers I see here, there and everywhere on line.  I'm sure they run the spectrum from the heavy "closet dwellers" to those who live a part of their lives as CD's with understanding families.

We talk about "trans-dar" often in Cyrsti's Condo, and for years I often wondered about the "pretty men" I observed who were thin and had no eye brows to speak of.  Maybe they were the ones with seemingly a zillion "selfie's" on certain photo sites. 

As I got better,  I began to look at where the photos were taken (always in the same room) or out in the world. Then, were the pictures taken by a professional photographer and finally, were they actually a genetic woman or not.  (Pinterest has gobs and bunches of those!) But look, they are pictures-a moment in time, no more, no less.

Finally, I came to a point which in essence is what Michelle was commenting about: how many of us hide in plain site.  Those of us who are the Kristin Beck's of the cross dressing or transgender world and cover ourselves with a deep layer of macho camouflage.  

Surely I will never know.  If you take the Condo for example, I can't remember ever having a response from here in Ohio.  The closest I have came is from Shelle over in Indiana who I haven't heard from and hope is OK.  Facebook is worse.  Someday I'm going to have to go through my reasonably local "friends" and delete all of those who have gone.

Finally, I know too, if there is a cross dresser hiding in plain site across the street from me-she has a reason to be there. Plus, chances are she may labor under that well worn (and true) idea that we transgender women "look down" on cross dressers.  It just so happens I don't.

Michelle, thanks for the comment!

Cyrsti's Condo "Cover Girl" of the Day

Our feature "cover" today is the beautiful androgynous German male model Marta Styuart.

Laverne Cox Coming Soon!

Quite possibly, the best part of my most recent visit to my endocrinologist was when he mentioned a future Laverne Cox speaking engagement in December at nearby Wright State University. Fairborn/Dayton Ohio.

As I researched her visit, I was amazed at how dedicated Laverne must be to "spreading the transgender word." I count approximately 25 speaking engagements for her between now and Wright State.

If you follow the link above to her web site, you can read (among other things) this understatement:
  
Laverne is in demand as a speaker.  She has travelled the country speaking about moving beyond gender expectations to live more authentically. Additionally, she uses and encourages an intersectional approach to critically engage with our stories.

Needless to say, I'm very excited by a chance to see her speak on her own terms about us.  If you are here in Ohio by chance, she will also be at Kent State in November.  For other "stops" go back to the link above!