Kataluna Enriquez was crowned the winner Sunday in Las Vegas. The 27 year old won the Miss Silver State pageant in March. It was the preliminary for this pageant.
If she wins the completion in November, she joins Spain's Angela Ponce as the seconder transgender woman ever to compete in the Miss Universe pageant.
Emma wrote into Cyrsti's Condo with a wonderful comment on how to go about achieving confidence as you enter the feminine world:
" Indeed, I agree completely that confidence is our best accessory. But how does one gain confidence? For those of us who're used to just living authentically what can we advise others?
" Here's un update on the VA. I talked to several friends that work for the VA and help run clinics for trans people. One stated that it is in the rules and regulations that full trans care has been approved but will take time to get it written into the operating procedures. Apparently, several of the clinics here in Florida already have the personnel that specialize in trans care but the problem is that no formal trans exclusive clinics are set up. My friends say that it may take up to a year to get everything fully established. Here's hoping it won't take that long, but then again it's the government."
Thanks for the update!
As I have written before, a few of my dealings with the VA in the past have resulted in me being referred to an outside provider. Which leads me to this point, where you are will probably dictate how fast the VA can react to this new ruling.
For example, I know of two experienced hospitals here in Ohio which do SRS. Perhaps it would be easier for the VA to refer cases to them.
We shall see. As you said Michelle, it's the government. Personally, as far as I am concerned, I am fortunate in that I don't desire any radical surgeries to reaffirm my femininity..
The food was good and I was able to show off my quite expensive dental work.
Aside from the woman who sat us, our server was was adequate but friendly and referred to us as "ladies."
Also from yesterday, I commented on the heat wave going on out West. I mentioned Connie who lives in Seattle. Since Seattle isn't used to such intense heat, a large percentage of the population doesn't have air conditioning.
Does Connie? Let's find out:
"Well, the thermometer on our deck is reading 110, and it's only 3:00 pm! The composite decking may be influencing the thermometer to read higher than the actual temp, but it showed 98 when it was in the shade earlier. Anyway, I'm glad I'm not working outside today, although we're one of the 67% of residences that does not have AC here in Seattle, so being inside is not so great, either. I discovered that I've collected seven electric fans over the years, though. I wish I had that many fans left for my musical career, and I know what may still remain is not very electric anymore. :-)
The worst part of this heat is that I have to wear a wig! Of course, I could go without it, but I don't think the skin on top of my head is my (as you put it) most valuable beauty commodity."
Stay cool all. As you can see I have my mane of hair pulled back to stay cool.
In Seattle where Connie lives the temperature today is expected to reach well over one hundred degrees (F).
The picture is of Connie doing her job pre-covid by keeping the plants beautiful (as she is!) in downtown Seattle,
As uncomfortable as all the heat is, it does give us transgender women a chance to show a womans most valuable beauty commodity, our skin.
Around here in Ohio the temps are supposed to be near 90 and Liz and I are supposed to go out tonight. I have finally located my favorite sandals and now if I can get my feet public ready, I will wear them tonight.
In the meantime, somehow- someway I hope all of you out West manage to get rain and relief from the heat.
I attended a rather lengthy webinar yesterday designed to help care givers deal with elderly parents or patients. Predictably, no mention was made concerning LGBTQ+ individuals. I did have a question in to be answered by email at a later date. We will see if the moderator ever answers me. I doubt it but at the least I got my point across. At any rate, the whole adventure used all my battery power on my laptop along with the usual allotted time I use to write a blog post.
Then today, I filled out a LGBTQ+ survey and filled out the on line vehicle license tags registration for our car. As always it took Ohio time to catch up and offer an on line service to residents of the state.
Speaking of Ohio, the Repugs in our legislature tried to pull a quick one and reintroduce a ban on transgender athletes in the state which was previously defeated. Fortunately it was defeated again and so far trans athletes in Ohio can compete. As always, our transgender rights seem to be so fragile.
So true Lisa, thanks for the comment.
Then Michelle commented:
"Remember that the article did state that the VA needs to find medical staff the can perform the procedures. Unfortunately, as with all government programs it will take some time to get it established. I'm with Lisa about if the republican party has anything to do with it, we will see that taken away. I'm also fully aware of the transphobe medical staff that the VA has down here in Florida.
As you said Cyrsti about having a hint of paranoia, I will be waiting to see what will happen. I hope to find out more this weekend when I meet with several members of the LGBTQ group that works in the VA."
Hopefully this means if the VA can't do the procedure themselves, they have to find someone to do it!
Please keep us posted! Also the person in the photo is Carla Lewis. I wore a similar shirt to a Columbus, Ohio Pride event several years ago.
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| Circa 2014 |
Recently I read a post on one of the social media outlets I follow from a new gender explorer desperate to live her life farther. She was tired of "walking" the malls (which are rapidly disappearing) and wanted to try new and exciting venues. I recommended checking out any local LGBT groups to see if they had any social get togethers.
The whole interaction brought back memories of my earliest days when I too was tired of the malls and wanted to try something different. I was fortunate and was able to establish a new life as a transgender woman without terrific setbacks. The fear of trying to live a feminine life was far worse than doing it. Plus the more I tried, the more natural my feminine side felt. Perhaps my first transgender girlfriend who used to meet up with me in straight sports bars said it the best, I passed out of pure stubbornness. A nice way of saying I wasn't the best looking woman in the room but a woman none the less.
As I fast forward to today, I think back to the recent interaction I had with the restaurant hostess who was stressed out with her seating situation. When it was my turn to ask about the group, there was no recognition from either of us there was a transgender woman in the conversation. The whole interaction was simply person to person.
Once she found out I was not upset, life went on and I found a spot at the bar. It felt good to be out and proud in public again.
Confidence is our best accessory!
I am a bit slow in sharing this as referenced in this post from the "Orlando Weekly":
" During a Pride event in Orlando over the weekend, the head of the US Department of Veterans Affairs announced that VA hospitals would begin working on a program to provide gender-affirming surgeries to veterans.
Since I had to wait at the bar to find out where I paid for my drink at, I was one of the last ones to be seated and thus showed up in the picture
I am at the bottom right, next to my good friend Lawren. I believe nineteen attended.
Even though I am rather shy, I did have a good time.
In my travels across social media, I see all types of responses to Father's Day. All the way from total acceptance of a transgender woman who used to be a father, to no acceptance at all.
Long ago, my daughter came to the decision she would refer to me as a "parent" and leave a gender specific label out of it. I thought it was a great idea.
My own Dad was rather emotionally distant and never learned a thing about my transgender leanings. Looking back on our relationship, it is very difficult for me to predict how he would have reacted. If my Mom's reaction was any indication, it wouldn't have been positive.
Both of them were part of the WWII/Depression generation which were long on being providers and short on being emotionally accessible. After all, my Mom offered access to advanced psychiatric treatment when I came out to her. The subject was never spoken of again. More than likely, any conversations with Dad would have led to uncomfortable conclusions about a subject we neither knew much about.
Either way, I would have to have taken the path of accept me or else. Which would have put me on a collision course with my parents attitude of mental illness. Get treatment and get over it.
Looking back on my interactions with either of my parents, I wish I had taken a more active approach.
Even though, I never heard it from him, Dad I love you and thanks for all you did do.
However, one of the program's performers shed her non authentic male persona and came out as transgender.
"Zachery Torres" recently shared on Tic Toc that her pronouns are "she/hers and they/them".
During an interview for Pink News she said she didn't feel a pressure to dance a certain way until she landed a spot on "Dance Mom's". Now she wants to use her platform so young transgender and queer kids don't have to face a line of fire.
For more, go here.
As I have written about here in Cyrsti's Condo, last night was the monthly Thursday social hosted by the transgender - cross dresser group I am part of here in Cincinnati.
For once, since Liz had to work, I was able to arrive early. Ironically, I walked into a chaotic hot mess. The poor hostess had some sort of a vague idea of a reservation but couldn't come up with who made it and for how many.
Seemingly as she was frozen in in decision, I simply turned around a grabbed a seat at the bar next to several other of the attendees. I was good. The beer was cold and the conversation was light.
Sooner more than later, the organizers arrived and attempted to dispel the confusion. Order was restored and we ended up waiting a bit longer for a couple of tables to open up.
I'm sure for many of the people who were there, the whole delay was no problem because of the "special occasion" of being cross dressed in their feminine best. For the rest of us, we were doing our best to enjoy the company. As I said, the beer was cold, the conversation was light and the food was good. The venue even treated us to several free appetizers. The best part was outside of one person, no one acted like an idiot. It was her 79th birthday and I guess one way or another she was going to try to be the center of attention.
My only problem was my back. After and hour or so, I become very uncomfortable.
There were pictures taken, if any are worthwhile, I will pass them along.
She (Joni) responded the whole process just seemed to take a while with her friend to actually transition with her.
I believe there are multiple transitions involved with something as complex as a human gender change. Personally, I think I can recall of at least one major transition when I went from being what I referred to as a cross dresser to a fully out in the world transgender woman.
Unfortunately, we lose sight of how hard it is for others around us to make the transition also. Once again, n my case, I will use my brother as an example. He told me he would always know me and refer to me as my old self. Shortly after that I ended up moving away and we never pursued my gender change any further. On occasion, I do feel guilty I didn't give him the chance to try to transition with me.
So, as we proceed down this very complex and long journey, we find there is no easy answer to the amount of transitions we go through. Some transgender women go down the surgical path to what they consider "the final solution" then again, some don't.
Along the way, somehow we have to consider those making the transition with us. Some never make the journey for what ever reason but some do. Making room for those that do is the essence of being an understanding transgender woman. It's exceedingly hard to do on such an often lonely path we didn't choose to accept but somehow find away to exist with. The whole process has a tendency to make us seem selfish.
As you can see from the picture, Joni has transitioned well. To my knowledge she hasn't had any surgery but has been on HRT for several years. Congratulations on others around her accepting her for true self!
As I perhaps have pointed out, there is another "social" scheduled for Thursday night in one of the local seafood restaurants. The event is hosted by the transgender - cross dresser group I am part of. The group also has support group meetings which are still virtual and I have not attended recently.
So far it looks as if I will be attending by myself as Liz most likely will have to work over.
I am looking forward to getting out of the house again and casually dressing up as I have dinner. I am slightly different than more than a few of the others because I don't have to go all out to impress anyone in the group. I am planning to wear my favorite form fitting patterned tank top along with a pair of my khaki culottes and black flats. I am going to pull my hair back into a flowing mane and wear a pair of dangling ear-rings to get about as dressed up as I get. As much as I don't really care about the group, I do care about how the public perceives me.
The venue is slightly upscale so I feel, I should be too.
The picture is not what I am wearing but does show approximately how far hormone replacement therapy has changed me. Back then the hair was a wig and the rest was padding.
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| Pride picture from a couple years ago. |
Then I found I wasn't finished. There is a sight called "Slack" which asked me to join too. Turns out it is also a group of transgender orientated writers asking for input.
Also, Google has announced it is doing away with it's "Feedburner" subscription service. Not to worry I guess because I received an email yesterday from a new service seeking to add all of Googles' former customers.
Of course it turns out there are extra steps I need to take also to make sure it happens correctly.
I am sooooo confused!
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| Pre Covid Picture from two summers ago. |
Since it was Sunday morning at a breakfast only restaurant, the place was crowded and we had to wait for nearly a half hour to be seated. I am sure too, the venue was having trouble maintaining help which made matters worse.
At any rate, we sat outside on the benches and waited our turn. The only problem with that idea was we had to battle the cicada's which are out in force after waiting seventeen years to remerge, mate and pester everyone. Aside from being very ugly, they won't hurt you.
When it was time to be seated, I followed the lead of my daughter and walked through what seemed like a large group of people waiting to pay and/or waiting to be seated.
I remembered my posture, shoulders back, stand straight and proud and act like I was happy to be there. Which I was. It worked because no one paid me any attention.
As it was, I had my unruly hair tied in the back because the temperature was supposed to be in the low 90's. I decided to go for cool comfort and wear one of my light weight form fitting tank tops with a pair of jeans and tennis shoes.
I blended well, had a great time with the family and felt as if I was accepted well by the staff and patrons of the restaurant we were dining at. It did my soul good!
Today Liz and I are meeting my daughter and one of my grandkids for a pancake breakfast.
Then, this afternoon we are supposed to attend a long overdue Witches Ball meeting which of course has been postponed due to Covid.
I don't expect much excitement but I will let you know.
For some reason, I read someone else's post about coming out to a spouse or loved one concerning being transgender, or even a cross dresser. In my world, being accepted as a cross dresser was much easier than being accepted as transgender.
In fact, the only cis woman of significance in my life who tried to parlay my cross dressing into anything remotely against me was my finance way back in my college days. Instead of keeping my gender desires in the closet, I couldn't take it any longer and came out to her. After intense discussions she finally agreed to go with me to a motel room and help me with my transition. It worked for me at least and I marveled at the novice cross dresser who was looking back at me in the mirror. Of course, even way back then, I knew the buzz wouldn't last. I could take what she showed me, apply it to myself and learn more about my femininity.
All went fairly well, until it was time to graduate college and the draft board was eagerly awaiting my induction into the military. It was at this time she found another boyfriend and laid down the line to me. Either tell the Army I was gay and try to dodge the draft or we were done.
I knew that would never work and we broke up not long before I was scheduled to report to Ft. Knox in Kentucky for winter time Army basic training. The more I tried to forget her, the more bitter I became. As I thought about her, the more I wanted to return one day in the future in a new car looking beautiful in a pretty dress.
That day never came. I moved away and became involved with other women with various acceptance of my gender dysphoria. I always thought my first wife never cared that much and didn't 'understand the difference between being a cross dresser or transvestite back then as compared to being a transgender woman which was becoming well known.
My second wife understood the difference well and never accepted it until the day she died and years later I came full circle with my partner Liz who fully accepted me as my feminine self. Even to the point of being instrumental in me fully coming out of the closet and transitioning into a full time transgender woman.
As far as my fiancé goes, if she transitioned into what her Mom became later in life, I may have gotten my revenge anyhow.
If I cared :).
Picture from New Years Eve (pre-covid) with Liz and I.
Nina Humphrey from the "Credit Card. Com" website managed to navigate the confusing process of choosing between my two names and emails to reach me.
The problem is years ago when I completed my legal name change, I added another email with that name. With the time and effort I had spent over the years to build the Cyrsti's Condo transgender blog, I didn't want to start all over again. So on occasion, I encounter confusion when people try to reach me on the other email. An example was when I was accepted into the Trans Journalist Association. Emma needed to reach out on both emails to confirm my identity. FYI, I am really excited to be part of the Association!
Now, back to Nina. Here is part of what she wrote and a link to go to for more information:
We understand transgender individuals can transition without surgery or medical procedures by changing their clothing, pronouns, name and gender presentation. But money can often be a barrier for transgender folks, and getting accurate information about the costs of transitioning can be a hurdle in and of itself.
For those who do wish to get surgery, the costs vary significantly depending on details like insurance coverage and location. We created a guide to help transgender Americans by providing expert advice on:
Here's the link to our guide:
https://www.creditcards.com/credit-card-news/gender-reassigment-surgery-costs/ "
She also added:
"It's important to us that the LGBTQ+ community has the protection and support it deserves. Which is why we want to do our part and share valuable information that benefits both the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. I recently came across your page and I wanted to share our resource which I thought would be a valuable addition to your page"
Most certainly, finances are always a major factor when considering major gender surgeries. Thanks Nina, for your information.
From "GayTimes"
"Daniela Vega received critical acclaim for her performance in A Fantastic Woman as young trans woman Marina, a singer and waitress in Santiago whose older boyfriend dies unexpectedly. With its win for Best Foreign Language Film, A Fantastic Woman made history as the first Academy Award-winning film to feature a transgender storyline with an openly transgender actor in the lead role. In 2018, Vega also became the first transgender person to present at the prestigious ceremony. In an interview with The Guardian, Vega said of the relationship between the transgender community and the Republican Party (trust us when we say, it’s a finger-wagging moment): “It actually gives me a physical pleasure to annoy conservatives. I don’t have to be violent, I don’t have to insult anyone – my mere existence shakes those people up.”
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| My partner Liz( left) me and Kathy (another trans woman friend on the right. |
I think it is time to venture out if people have been vaccinated so I have no problem with doing it.
Saturday is the first social get together in public, followed by an on line support group meeting on Monday and yet another public social next Thursday.
With everyone being so tired of staying home for so long, more than likely all events will be well attended.
The socials are a very good idea for experienced and novice transgender women of all kinds. Most importantly, the venues know we are coming and provide a safe space. Very simply, it is a chance to get out in the public's eye and try out fitting in in the feminine world.
The best part is so far, everyone has not embarrassed the group by doing something decidedly ignorant.
Even though we will not be attending Saturday nights social, it's a very good chance I will be at the other two. If you happen to be in the metro Cincinnati, Ohio area and need information, let me know.
Jari Jones is an actress, model, and LGBTQ+ advocate. Last year, she was one of nine models featured in an advertisement for Calvin Klein in New York City. The brand’s 2020 Pride campaign #PROUDINMYCALVINS, was a huge accomplishment. In an Instagram post she wrote, “It has been such an honor and pleasure to sit in my most authentic self and present imagery of a body that far to often has been demonized, harassed, made to feel ugly and unworthy and even killed.”
In 2015, Liz and I toured the "Rankin House" near Ripley, Ohio east of Cincinnati when I was more mobile. The picture on the left was taken facing the Ohio River which flows downhill from the historic house. Known for it's success in helping runaway slaves escape.
Afterwards we crossed the Ohio on a small ferry boat and ate lunch in historic Augusta, Kentucky, the home of George Clooney.
It was a relaxing day and one to remember because my transgender transition was still so new and scary as well as being exciting. The day went well, and no, we didn't see George.
It turns out, my posts objecting to the domination of drag queens in more than a few of the LGBT Pride events elicited several wonderful comments on the three platforms I am writing on now (Blogger, WordPress and Medium).
Here is one from Michelle:
" I have to say that you might be a bit wrong about the Queens doing nothing for the community. Connie is right about how most trans women just want to blend in but the Queens help to off set attention so that we can blend in without too much trouble. You have to remember that it was the Queens and gays of the Stonewall riots that brought the subject of trans into the open. That one incident helps so many find that they were not alone in the world.
Yes, Queens are know for looking and acting over the top but one has to remember that they are like that because they are entertainers if nothing else. I also know that many of them don't always dress or act outlandish all the time. Many try to wear "normal" everyday wear most of the time. Unfortunately many still end up wearing the heavy makeup to help hide the male flaws.
Raquel Willis is an African American writer, editor, and transgender rights activist. She is a former national organizer for the Transgender Law Center, the former executive editor of Out magazine, and currently serves as the Director of Communications for the Ms. Foundation for Women
"Now, viewers can binge “Pose,” “Supergirl,” “Euphoria” or even “Star Trek: Discovery,” but when Candis Cayne sashayed onto the screen on ABC’s nighttime drama “Dirty Sexy Money” in 2007, she became the first openly transgender actor with a recurring role on a network television series.
On the show, she played the vixenous Carmelita Rainer, who was having an affair with handsome New York state attorney general Patrick Darling (Billy Baldwin), who was itching to get out from under the thumb of his billionaire father (Donald Sutherland).
“Dirty Sexy Money” only lasted one season but it broke ground in a number of ways: Cayne was a transgender woman playing a transgender character. And Carmelita wasn’t the butt of the joke — she was beautiful, and as deliciously devious as her co-stars."
For more, go here:
"It would make for a pretty boring parade if the drag queens were replaced by trans women "just wanting to blend in." Not that one group necessarily shows more pride than the other; just different ways of expressing it. Personally, I much prefer to exhibit my self-pride with a quiet confidence - but, then, I'm not trying to entertain anyone with it. I'm not saying that drag queens are clowns, but I think that they serve the same purpose in a pride parade that the clowns do in a more-traditional parade.
Today was my virtual therapists visit. I have been very fortunate in that I have been able to maintain my relationship with the same therapist over the years. After all, the Veteran's Administration is known for turnover. My therapist initially was the same person who signed off on my beginning hormone replacement therapy and later provided me with the paperwork to complete changing my legal gender markers.
Also, I make no secret to others that I am bi-polar and no, embarking on my often remarkable transgender journey to change my life did not solve my overall depression and anxiety. With my therapist I was always able to explain one did not connect with the other and magically disappear. Before I started my journey, I had experience with other therapists who kept trying to connect imaginary dots with me. So, during our sessions I am always very careful to compliment her for her help and input.
Coming up next, next week is my appointment with my nurse practitioner who monitors all my meds and bloodwork. She is also very nice and does a great job...as long as my blood work comes back OK.
Even though I have to make the lengthy drive north to the Dayton VA for my care, I rather do it for the continuity of care I receive. Rather than switch everything over to the local Cincinnati VA Hospital.
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| Just more Drag Queens |
One of my biggest problems with the various events is the number of drag queens which are featured.
My dislike for all the attention drag queens garner goes all the way back to my earliest days of coming out into a feminine world. A world I desperately wanted to succeed in. The mistake I made was going to male gay venues...places which were nearly impossible to exist in as a novice transgender woman. I ultimately learned I could be accepted much more easily in straight venues. At the same time, I began to grow bored of the same drag queens performing the same songs.
All of this brings me back to Pride. My earliest trips to Prides were immersed in the usual garishly dressed queens followed close by by cross dressers teetering by in their high heels and tight dresses. Very little appealed to me. I will say though, as the years have gone by, I have noticed more and more transgender women and men enjoying the day.
Interestingly, the Trans Ohio organizers who are hell bent to put on a virtual event of their own, have a whole other take on why Pride does not represent trans people as a whole. Their take is the money these big Pride events bring in. The big corporations who are lining up as sponsors are spending money in the wrong areas to truly help the immensely needy segments of the LGBT community. Too much of the money goes to support the event itself or back to the cis male gay groups whole are already doing well in the financial areas.
At any rate, Liz and I can't attend any of the regional Prides this year for several reasons and even though I don't like the attention the queens get, I still like to "people watch" the rest of the crowd.
Archive Image from Witches Ball Tom on Left. Ditching good with better has always been a difficult obstacle in my life. I always blame my...
