Gender Freedom

Image from Irina Rudnick
on UnSplash

 I found freedom was fleeting many times during my life.

The first time I can remember is when I did not ever have the power to cross dress when I wanted to during my early life, I had to really be aware of what I was doing to avoid detection. Of course, if discovered, any life I was living would have been destroyed. I could only imagine falsely promising I would never cross dress again or find myself in a version of conversion therapy. 

The second time I vividly remember my freedom being compromised was when the Vietnam War draft began to loom in my future. It was an unreal situation which became all too real. After college I took my physical and was pronounced fit to serve in the military. I ended up enlisting for three years to be able to further my career as I served my country. 

All along, my youthful self was learning the basics of freedom. I found rare ways to express my true gender self by sneaking out the back door of the house and initially walking around our neighborhood. Plus there were the yearly Halloween parties I went to dressed as a woman to get me by. Both attempts to ease my gender pressure did work, for a short while and then I was back searching for more freedom and often still risking everything I had to achieve it. When I could, I was making the fifty mile trip to nearby Columbus, Ohio to meet and socialize with a very diverse group of transgender and LGB individuals.  From them, I was able to learn more about how far I would have to go to have a semblance of gender freedom.

It was not until I began to really explore the world as a transgender woman, did I finally begin to experience just a bit of freedom. As gay bars and other unforgiving venues began to fade into my rear view mirror (along with malls) did I begin to discover a glimmer of hope I could survive in the world as a transgender woman. With the hope, came a new push to do whatever I could to make myself into a better woman. It turned out, I was not making anything. She was already there waiting very impatiently for her turn at freedom and life.

I learned also, freedom is never free and you have to work for it. In many ways I had paid my dues and it was time to take the chance and collect my winnings. After following a very winding and bumpy gender journey for all those years, many of the traffic signals turned from red to green and destiny stepped in to insure my gender freedom.

My mental health improved and became stronger with everything else in life. Improbably a cis-woman found me and wanted to love and nourish me at one of my lowest spots, so freedom again became a breath of fresh air. Now our gender freedoms are at risk in the upcoming election. One of the candidates who is not female wants to take them all away. Don't let him!  

Still Fighting

Perhaps you remember the post here in Cyrsti's Condo concerning the transgender boy here in the Cincinnati area who was removed from his parents home. Staying would have resulted in suicide.

The father, kept telling him to go ahead and commit suicide while the mother pushed long and hard for 'Christian Conversion Therapy'. The trans kid was/or would be subjected to being read bible verses six hours a day.

What is happening now is in the court's hands. His grandparents have stepped up and volunteered to take charge and help the trans boy. In other words, to basically save his life.

If you recall too, the idea of teen transgender suicide is all too real here in the Cincinnati area. A couple years ago, Leelah Alcorn (right) committed suicide by stepping in front of a semi truck near her home on an interstate highway.

Thanks to intervention this time, hopefully such a tragedy won't happen again!

Trashing Your Transgender Kid

The Ohio Highway Patrol released it's report on the tragic suicide last winter of transgender teenager Leelah Alcorn. I have written several times here in Cyrsti's Condo about how her death is constantly reinforced with me because I travel that stretch of road continually.

The report really didn't surprise me much. 


The OHP reported Leelah Alcorn, the 17-year-old transgender youth who committed suicide last December, had been frequenting suicide prevention websites in the weeks leading up to her death.

The report also explains that Alcorn's mother had found a note on Alcorn's bed shortly after police notified them about her death. The note read "I've had enough." 

The Journal-News also  reported Alcorn had been undergoing conversion therapy against her will when she died, a type of psychiatric treatment aimed at changing the sexual orientation of gender identity of gay, lesbian, and transgender youth that President Barack Obama condemned earlier this month.

In addition to Leelah's story, it is important to note here in Southwestern Ohio, we are on the LGBT "fault line."  An example is Cincinnati which has (and is) working hard to create a diverse environment but then again you don't have to travel far to find a very active religious community who I am sure still believe salvation will rid any poor transgender or gay kid's problems. 

And how about Leelah's parents? Are they still "true believers" more than true "under-standers?" I can't imagine their pain-or thought patterns. Especially now in the highly publicized transgender era. Sacrificing your child "for the cause" may be a bit much-for anyone. Including the "snake worshipers."

 

It's NOT That Difficult

I am in Cincinnati, Ohio. Today, on the heels of yesterday's mega coverage of  Prez Obama coming out against gay/transgender conversion therapy-the local tragic(local) Leelah Alcorn suicide story was featured. Then today, yet another story of a teen trans suicide went public.
It occurred to me (again) we are missing something here (other than the obvious). Maybe missing the forest for the trees. If I was writing my own version of "Parenting a Transgender Child for Dummies", here are my basics:

1. You face a Very REAL 41% chance of your child committing suicide.  COUNT on it.
2. YOUR Child will be bullied- COUNT on it. Remember too-bullying is a multi generational institution. Others kids learn it.
3. Monitor your child's social media. Bully's live like cock roaches on social media and often are just as intelligent.
4. Religion may help YOU-but not your child. Jesus is not walking down the hall at school with your child. 
5. Each case/child is different but you and your child are NOT alone-increasingly so.
6. Remember the "P" words. This is not a phase but then again your child can grow into the many different layers of growth. If protected and nurtured.
7. Understand you are raising a very unique and special child.
8. There is NO luck to this. It's what you make of it.
9. The chance of you mourning a child you never really knew is VERY real. 
10. You CAN help.

Rest assured I am not qualified to write a book such as this. On the other hand if we are ever going to stop this insanity, we are going to have to go to the parents with grass roots efforts. - and make the parents of bully's criminally liable.  

Pounding Square Pegs into Round Holes

I'm sure you remember the tragic story of young transgender girl Leelah Alcorn. It turns out White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett said President Barack Obama was moved by her story of and has called for the end of conversion therapies — the type of therapy that triggered the suicide of Leelah.

In a statement posted along side a 120,000-signature petition to end conversion- on a White House website, Jarrett wrote:

“We share your concern about its potentially devastating effects on the lives of transgender as well as gay, lesbian, bisexual and queer youth. As part of our dedication to protecting America’s youth, this administration supports efforts to ban the use of conversion therapy for minors.”

In addition, when you visit the White House now, there will be a transgender friendly bathroom for you too. At least until the next Prez takes over.  

By the way:  Conversion” or “reparative” therapy lacks solid scientific backing, but is the therapy of choice by conservative leaders. (brain washing)

You can read more on this story here and as Momma Karma would have it, yesterday was another day when another person showed their support for the Leelah Alcorn "Fix Society" bumper sticker on my car.