It's Not Over Till It's Over

A couple transgender moments the other night caught my attention. One very positive and one exactly the polar opposite.

First I caught an episode of a show I wouldn't normally watch because of it's first transgender participant. I am talking about Big Brother and Audrey Middleton. She was as advertised: positively gorgeous and probably just as nervous. The good news is she arguably is one of the most attractive women on the show. The bad news is she is arguably one of the best looking women on the show. Why it is bad? People within and out of our transgender community think passing privilege is everything - it's not.

Take last night's incredibly tragic news that Jess Shipps a 31 year old transgender military activist had committed suicide for example. 

One of the gender transition problems is the frustrating fact you never seem to reach the "other side" in your mind. Assuming you have reached a certain level of "passing privilege" - then you have to face the daunting tasks of finding a mate, a job and all the other tasks of building a life. 

Then, what kind of life do you want?  The days of strutting yourself in front of your home mirrors, in the mall or at a gay venue are gone. Are you a "tom boy" or a "girly girl" and don't know it?

The problem also is-there is no right answer. The person you perceived you to be before transition maybe totally different than the one you become. 

Just don't put all your eggs into the "passing privilege" basket and know the transition process can be a life long process. Your rewards can be more than you ever imagined.  

Yet Another Suicide

Jess Shipps

Just when you think everything is warm and fuzzy in the transgender community, a touch of reality comes crashing through.

For some reason, I missed this story. It did not come through my emails and I happened to pick it up because of Jeni's message through my Google + comments. But-all of the sudden, all of those comments are being sent to my Yahoo Spam mail account-which I rarely read.

So thanks to Jeni for alerting me to the tragic story about Transgender Military Advocate Jess Shipps committing suicide. 

 From the Advocate.Com: The transgender military community is in mourning after learning of the suicide of Jess Shipps, a 31-year-old Air Force veteran.

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Shipps, who served 11 years before leaving service nine months ago to pursue her gender transition, was an active member of SPARTA, an advocacy and support group for trans members of the military.

The story is very sad and intensive but relates the all too familiar story of transgender suicide. A friend said her (Jess Shipps) "pretty sad, pretty difficult" final message reflected struggles experienced by many trans women and trans army veterans, that can take a toll on mental health. The pair had been friends for two years after Shipps had left the Air Force; although she was not discharged. The friend said he believes she chose to leave because "she had a fear of transitioning while on active duty." 

Check out the links for more and thanks again Jeni!