It's Not Over Till It's Over

A couple transgender moments the other night caught my attention. One very positive and one exactly the polar opposite.

First I caught an episode of a show I wouldn't normally watch because of it's first transgender participant. I am talking about Big Brother and Audrey Middleton. She was as advertised: positively gorgeous and probably just as nervous. The good news is she arguably is one of the most attractive women on the show. The bad news is she is arguably one of the best looking women on the show. Why it is bad? People within and out of our transgender community think passing privilege is everything - it's not.

Take last night's incredibly tragic news that Jess Shipps a 31 year old transgender military activist had committed suicide for example. 

One of the gender transition problems is the frustrating fact you never seem to reach the "other side" in your mind. Assuming you have reached a certain level of "passing privilege" - then you have to face the daunting tasks of finding a mate, a job and all the other tasks of building a life. 

Then, what kind of life do you want?  The days of strutting yourself in front of your home mirrors, in the mall or at a gay venue are gone. Are you a "tom boy" or a "girly girl" and don't know it?

The problem also is-there is no right answer. The person you perceived you to be before transition maybe totally different than the one you become. 

Just don't put all your eggs into the "passing privilege" basket and know the transition process can be a life long process. Your rewards can be more than you ever imagined.